How to BeMISERABLE

at College or University

scribendi.com presents:

Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Back

scratches. Led Zeppelin. Puppies. College

success.

What do these things all have in common?

They are all so totally overrated.

You don’t want to learn how to succeed in

college. You know better than that! You, my

friend, are looking to be miserable at college,

and if there’s anything I know about in my

plain ice cream, itchy, silent, puppy-less life,

it’s how to be miserable.

Here are some tips to help you become just

as miserable as I am while you trudge your

way through college.

1. Study, study, thenstudy some more.Remove the concept of "balance" entirely fromyour student life. Place your entire self-worth onyour academic college success, and I guaranteeyou’ll be miserable in two weeks flat.

2. Party like a rock star.

Party enough to make yourself feel like the student loan you took outhas gone completely to waste, and then think about how long it willtake you to repay that wasted investment. Consider your transitionto utter misery complete.

3. Take classes you hate.

You know what’s way cooler than being a happyhistory major? Why, being a miserable biologymajor, of course. Since you’re not looking to learnhow to succeed in college, I advise you to takeonly classes in which you have no interest.

4. Don't try tomake friends.

Instead of taking advantage of your

situation and developing

relationships with new people, you

should cling to high school

friendships with people who live in

different cities, states, or maybe

even countries. Those unsatisfying

relationships will be sure to keep

you good and miserable.

5. Never leaveyour dorm room.You can’t possibly achieve college success or general life

satisfaction from the safety of your room, which is why

your room is where you must stay.

You might experience growth if

you leave, and self-development is

certainly the very last thing you

want in your quest to be

miserable at college.

Changed your mind?Want to be successful?

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