How to Energize the Lion in Your Mirror

Becker Morgan Group Inc.

April 1, 2017

Joe Tye, CEO and Head CoachValues Coach Inc.

Copyright © 2016, Values Coach Inc.

Your first product is a better you.

“Being in business is not about making money. It’s a way to become who you are.”

Paul Hawken: Growing a Business

Set a goal so big that you can’t achieve it until you grow into the person who can

You will never exceed the expectations that you set for yourself.

You will never exceed the limitations that you place on yourself.

Success and failure won’t change you...

They will make you more of who you already are.

3 things that disempower your lion

Disempowering source #1

Low self-esteem

Low self-esteem is one of the most potent weapons YOWE has to prevent you from thinking big and acting on your dreams

Everyone experiences this at least some of the time –

Even big shot CEOs at big companies (except at that level it’s called Imposter Syndrome)

Low self-esteem is often an excuse for not trying

Low self-esteem can keep you glued

to TV…

When your best self would be taking night school classes

Disempowering source #2

Self-limiting beliefs

Self-limiting beliefs are the impediments you place upon yourself

Old Young Broke

The Terrible Too’s

Or whatever other excuse fits

No one would support me

I don’t have the skills

I don’t have time

The Big But’s

You must believe you are capable of achieving your authentic goals and >>>>>>>>

That you deserve to enjoy the fruits of your

success

“Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they are yours.”

Richard Bach: Illusions

Disempowering source #3

The negativity of others

Never allow the emotional vampires to drag you down

At all costs avoid the company of negative people

How to see the Lion in Your

Mirror – 7 Strategies

Strategy #1

Get very clear about your personal values

What are your values?

The goals you achieve

The contribution you make

The person you become

Will be determined by the values that

guide your life

Strategy #2

Make fear your ally

Fear is the most serious of all learning disabilities!

Edward Hallowell: Worry

The absence of fear is not courage!

The absence of fear is…

No Fear, No Courage…

Big Fear, Big Courage…

Anxiety

Fear

Worry

Anxiety

Three bad things happen when you in the thrall of anxiety…

Bad Thing #1

Memory is distorted: past successes seem small and insignificant while past failures seem huge and certain to be repeated.

Bad Thing #2

Perception is distorted: the dangers facing you are blown out of proportion while you underestimate the resources you have.

Bad Thing #3

Vision is distorted: you cannot see the possibilities for a great outcome because you are so fixated on images of doom.

Anxiety tries to become fear.

Paul Tillich: The Courage to Be

Fear

Fear can paralyze or it can catalyze

You’ve heard that the acronym F.E.A.R. stands for Fantasized Evidence Appearing Real.It also stands for…

Fabulous Excuse for Avoiding Responsibility

Are people afraid of change?

Confront your irrational fears

Worry

Worry is like paying interest on a debt that you probably don’t even owe!

Toxic worry is abuse of the God-given gift of imagination!

Strategy #3

Make adversity your teacher

Every great accomplishment was once the “impossible dream” of a dreamer who simply refused to quit when things got tough.

“It’s not what happens to you it’s what you do about it.”

W Mitchell

Everything can look like a failure in the middle!

“Brick walls are not there to stop you, they are there to make you prove how much you want something.”

Randy Pausch: The Last Lecture

The walls are not optional

Letting them stop you is

How much do you

want it?

Once more into

the breach!

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Strategy #4

Erase the malignant echo of negative self-talk

Negative self-talk is telling yourself lies…And then believing those lies to be true.

The most important speech any of us ever give (the one you were never trained to give) is...

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What is the first word a child learns to say?

For a variety of evolutionary reasons, the human mind automatically gravitates toward negative, frightening and depressing thoughts.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: The Evolving Self: A Psychology for the New Millennium

Experts refer to ANTs – automatic negative thoughts

Psychologists say that up to 80% of self-talk is negative – and that we can abuse ourselves at a speed of 400 words per minute!

You would never tolerate anyone else speaking to you the way you allow your spoiled inner brat to get away with.

Like graffiti on a subway car – after a while you don’t notice it

You might even think it’s beautiful

But…

The Inner Child is shadowed by an Inner Spoiled Brat

The split personality of your Inner Spoiled Brat

If only we won the lottery!

You don’t deserve to win the lottery!

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A crucial point!

That voice will always be in the second person. It’s not you talking!!!

“I’m not good enough”

You’re not good enough

Why is that?

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Three steps for using the power of Metaphorical Visualization™ to erase the graffiti of negative self-talk:

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Step #1

Visualize the words as clearly as you possibly can as graffiti that has been scrawled on the walls of your mental attic.

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Step #2

Visualize a janitor (The Janitor in Your Attic™) painting over the graffiti and replacing it with positive affirmations.

Step #3

Replace the bad lies you tell yourself about yourself with good lies about yourself…

You can rewire the hardware by reprogramming the software!

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Caveat!

For your challenge to your Spoiled Inner Brat to be credible you must also take action if what Brat says is factually accurate.

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Strategy #5

Make your body play a constructive part in that inner dialogue…

Your body tells your mind how you feel…

Power Posing

How your mouth tells your mind what to think…

Smile from the outside in and you’ll eventually be smiling from the inside out.

Strategy #6

Create memories of the future

Then put foundations under them.

Build your castles in the air…

Thoreau

You can remember the future more clearly and more accurately…

Than you can remember the past.

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The difference between wishful thinking and positive thinking…

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Wishful thinking is hoping for something and waiting for someone else to make it happen.

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Positive thinking is expecting something and working to make it happen.

Do you read your horoscope?

Joe’s Youroscope

Surprising good news will come to you from out of the blue – but it will be disguised as an unpleasant chore so pay attention…

Joe’s Youroscope (contd.)

What will at first seem like an incidental conversation with a stranger will evolve into a wonderful client relationship and personal friendship

Joe’s Youroscope (contd.)

A worry that has been keeping you awake at night will prove to have been interest on a debt that you do not owe…

Joe’s Youroscope (contd.)

Call a friend, call a prospect, and call your Mom.

Strategy #7

Take to heart the seven promises of The Self-Empowerment Pledge

Seven Simple Promises That Will Change Your

Life*

* One for each day of the week.

If you’ve been waiting for someone else to empower you, you should know that…

No one can empower you but – YOU – and once you have empowered yourself…No one can take that power away.

If you knew it would change your life for the better – profoundly and permanently – would you invest …

A minute a day for the next 365

days

Would you give up one television commercial a day for a year to change your life?

You

bet!If your answer is yes, here’s what you need to do.

Every morning start your day by making that day’s promise – which will take you about 15 seconds.

Repeat the promise again in in the middle of your work day.

Once more before you leave for home.

I am responsible,

accountable, and

determined!

And one more time right before you go to bed.

4 x 15 seconds = 1 minute

Repeat these promises

like you really mean

them!

Let’s take a look at the seven promises…

Monday’s Promise: ResponsibilityI will take complete responsibility for my health, my happiness, my success, and my life, and will not blame others for my problems or predicaments.

Tuesday’s Promise: AccountabilityI will not allow low self-esteem, self-limiting beliefs, or the negativity of others to prevent me from achieving my authentic goals and from becoming the person I am meant to be.

Wednesday’s Promise: DeterminationI will do the things I’m afraid to do, but which I know should be done. Sometimes this will mean asking for help to do that which I cannot do by myself.

Thursday’s Promise: ContributionI will earn the help I need in advance by helping other people now, and repay the help I receive by serving others later.

Friday’s Promise: ResilienceI will face rejection and failure with courage, awareness, and perseverance, making these experiences the platform for future acceptance and success.

Saturday’s Promise: PerspectiveThough I might not understand why adversity happens, by my conscious choice I will find strength, compassion, and grace through my trials.

Sunday’s Promise: FaithMy faith and my gratitude for all that I have been blessed with will shine through in my attitudes and in my actions.

Here’s WHY it works…

You keep promising yourself that you will be responsible, accountable, and determined; make a contribution, be resilient in the face of adversity, have a positive perspective, and that your faith will shine through.

Then you catch yourself whining and complaining, procrastinating, gossiping, blaming others for your problems, taking when you should be giving, and pretendingthat you have no power.

Cognitive Dissonance

Which is trying to simultaneously hold two incompatible beliefs

I am responsible,

accountable, and

determined! It’s not my fault,

they did it to me,

this is so unfair.

At that point, one of two things MUST happen. Either you take the easy way and stop making the promises…

Or you keep making the promises until you begin to change your attitudes and yourbehaviors.

And as you do that, you will begin to achieve better results in every dimension of your life.

Read these seven promises one more time…

Ask yourself these two questions…

Question #1:

If you personally were to take these seven promises to heart, would you be better off than where you are headed now – personally, professionally, financially, and spiritually?

Question #2:

If everyone where you work made a good faith effort to live these seven promises, would you do a better job of serving customers and of supporting each other?

If your answer to these two questions is…

And if you’re being honest, that’s what your answer will be.

Then why wouldn’t you invest those 365 minutes in yourself? Do it, because no one can empower you but you.

Will you give up one minute a day with…

And one last thing…

Let me introduce you to the person you once were

Wouldn’t it be nice to become that you again?