How to Handle Difficult Customers

Aikido principles to help you redirect anger through self control and highly tactical strategies

• Unifying with life energy

• Blending with motion and redirecting energy

• Goal is for practitioner to defend self while protecting attacker from injury

Verbal AikidoWhat it is and how it can

work for you

Aikido Demonstrations

What difficult customers want

1. Their problem solved

2. Helpfulness on your part

3. To feel they have choices

4. Acknowledgement

Strategically Calm

Down the Attack

“Clearly you’re upset. I want you to know that

getting to the bottom of this is just as important

to us as it is to you.”

An Akidoist strategically calms down the attack

1. Anger precludes rationality2. Anger must be acknowledged3. Anger diffusion results in a lesser

payout4. Ventilation is crucial

Psychology of Customer Anger

Strategically Encouraging Calm

• Use a calm tone and non-inflammatory words

• Speak slowly• Avoid escalating your voice• Never threaten the customer with

inflammatory statements like: “If you don’t calm down, I can’t help you.”

Strategically Encouraging Calm

• Express empathy– Not to be confused with sympathy– “I realize this whole thing must be

frustrating for you.”

Strategically Encouraging Calm

• Help customers feel they have choices

– Very important for customers to feel they have some control over the outcomes

– Give them options and let them make choices, even small ones

– Reducing choices and removing privileges tends to encourage aggression

Strategically Encouraging Calm

• Let customer know their feelings are important

– Natural calming mechanism– “Thank you for taking the time to let us

know about this. We appreciate the opportunity to clarify what we think has happened here.”

Strategically Encouraging Calm

• Don’t inadvertently encourage hostile behavior

– Saying, “This is all I can do.”– Rolling your eyes– Folded arms– Looking away– Saying, “What do you expect me to do.”– Walking away from a hostile customer

AdaptAdopt Apply

Never Meet Force with

Force

Never respond defensively or with a

counter attack

Aikido never meets force with force

1 When attacked, you will respond

defensively2 When attacked,

you will counterattack

What your customer is counting on…

A Defensive Response I’m doing the best I can. Sir, I work in customer service; I

had nothing to do with your problem.

We would never say (do) anything like that.

The Counterattack Stop yelling or I will hang up. Your mother should have taught

you manners. You don’t know what you’re

talking about.

How to Respond to a Verbal Attack Non-Defensively and without Attacking,

Decisive “movements”• “I’m trying to help you, but if you continue to yell and

swear, I am going to ask that you call back another time. It’s up to you…which would you prefer?”

• “I’m sorry. It isn’t possible to help while listening to that language. If it stops, I can help.”

• “If a few minutes helps you calm down before we continue, that would be fine. You can certainly call me back.”

• “I want to help you, yet the language is getting in the way.”

Hot Buttons• Disparaging statements that

evoke a negative reaction.The words alone have no significance.

• If we allow our buttons to be pushed, our ability to handle customers diminishes.

Identify and Neutralize Your Hot Buttons

The more often you retrieve and think

about your hot buttons under non-

confrontational conditions, the less

likely they will trigger a negative

emotional response.

Say what you mean.

Mean what you say.

Don’t be mean when you say it.

4 Things You Should Never Do With an Upset Customer

1. Threaten2. Rebut issues3. Belabor a point4. Argue