how to handle difficult people
TRANSCRIPT
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How to Handle Difficult People
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TIP # 1
People aren’t Difficult…
they’re different
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Five Misconceptions in Communication
People always listen to you when you are speaking to them When people say they are paying attention they really are
When someone says “ I understand “, he or she really does Saying something over and over ensure that your listener
understand Saying something over and over loudly will even more effective than just saying it over and over
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TIP # 2
If what you’re doing is not
working…Find a new way to do it!
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Why do difficult people resist new ideas and opinions?
Resist to change
Resistance due to bad mood
Resistance due to invasion of territory
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Why do difficult people resist new ideas and opinions?
Resistance due to irritation Resistance due to negativity Resistance due to fear Resistance due to perceived roles
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TIP # 3
Resistance does not mean NO
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Six keys to conquering resistance
Acknowledge and validate the other person’s concern
Anticipate and voice the other person’s objectives
Watch for “red flag” words
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Six keys (cont.)
Exercise self control
Focus on solution not blame
Be clear about what you want
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TIP # 4
Deal with problem not the symptoms
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Minimizing difficult encounters
Build trust Demand consistency Communicate constantly Use praise liability Encourage growth
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TIP # 5
Be descriptive not Judgmental
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Steps to handling conflict
Listen to the other’s issues_ Seek first to understand then
to be understood Describe back to the
individual their point of view formulate and
suggest possible outcomes
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TIP # 6
People who anger you…control you
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Difficult people : Classic Types
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The Bull
Characteristic – Bossy , Intimidating
Reason- To intimidate and control
Goal – Focus on the issues, avoid emotions
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The Fox
Characteristic- Long winded, does not conflict directly
Reason – To get attention
Goal – Surface the attack
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The Stone wall
Characteristic – Silent and unresponsive
Reason – To control the situation
Goal – Get a response
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TIP # 7
Any behavior not confronted will continue
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Five commandments for changing attitudes
Arguments never work Respective, value the differences in
peopleFault does not matterStart with areas of agreementListen for understanding
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TIP # 8
If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten