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    R0ll 10lll$ [AU[ Cop3lf;1l

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    OIllEl| UOHI$ BURo]l lollt$ fllt[mw G0D8Hn[

    How to Succeed with Women (1998, Prentice-Holl Press)

    How lo Succeed with Men (2000, Prentice-Holl Press)

    Ihe Sex Lover's Book of Lists t2001, Prentice-Holl Press)

    The Moslery Progrom: Your Step By St p Course in Meeting, Flirtingwilh, Doting ond Seducing the Women of Your Dreoms (MosteryTechnologies, lnc., 2001 )

    The lnlernet Seduction Talkit (Mostery Technologies, lnc., 2001)

    Avercoming ffie Nice Guy Syndrome: How to Stop Being Shy with-out Bxoming o Je*Audio Course (Mostery Technologies, lnc.,20021

    Doting odvice ond free newsletter otwww. howtosucceedwithwomen.com

    The How to Talk to Women Companion CDYou moy be interested in the How to Tolk to Women Companion CD.To moke this CD, we brought women into ihe studio ond flirted withthem, creoting Romontic Conversotions using the techniques from thisbook. We then odded our commentory ond "ploy by ploy'' so youcqn heor whot we ore thinking, ond how we ore deciding our nexlstreps os we do it Check outwwwhowtosucceedwithwomen.com/tolkto find out more obout this useful product

    RGfill0u10ru0ln01l[$

    Our fomilies, Jim Lemmer, Deboroh Lowyer, Theophilus, Poul Schlegel,

    Pele, Hotcher, Mike Krokolovich, Gene Brissey, Chod Gorcio,

    Kirk Bromley, A. Gile, Dr. K, Scotlworld, Cliff Borry Allen Thompson,

    Kristyn Kolnes, Chip Rowe, Leslie lshige, Suson Shermon, Mohommed

    Ali, Dmitri Bilgere, Roon Koufrnon, ond Koren Krizonovich.

    We'd olso like to thonk our friends ot Ployboy, Moxim, Stuff,Cosmopoliton, Ployboy, Men's Heolth, Men's Fitness, ond YM mogo-

    zines. Also to our friends ot fie Som Adoms Breweqy-thonks for thegood times

    R $p0$lt[ "Illillllu0ll"Fl|Oln R0ll t0llt$ am 0il0 crDSlaIlDWe'd like to thonk you for reoding this book. To listen to o new, not-

    tronscribed-in-this-book reol-life exomple of Louis & Copelond usingthese flirting skills, go to

    http://www. howlosucceedwithwomen.com/tol k

    n

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    @ Copyright (2002) Mostery Technologies, lnc.

    All rights reserved. No port of this book moy be reproduced in ony monner

    whotever, including informotion storoge, or retrievol, in whole or in port

    (except for brief quototions in orticles or reviews), without written permission

    from the publisher.

    For more informotion write to:MosteryTechnologies, P.O. Box 55094, Modison, Wl 53705

    Emqil: [email protected]

    Web: www. howtosucceedwithwomen.com

    Louis, RonHow to tolk to women / Ron Louis & Dovid Copelond. -

    l st ed.p.cm.rsBN 0-971 9076-0-9

    l. Doting (sociol customs)-United Stotes. 2. Women- United Stotes- Psychology. 3. mon -womon relotionships- United Stotes. 4. lnterpersonol communicostion - UnitedStotes. L Copelond, Dovid, 1963- ll. Tide.

    HA80r .168 2002

    First printing 2002

    Printed in Conodo

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    lntroduction

    lnterrupting Women, Risk, Curiosity

    ond Self-Expression

    The Hi Progrom & Vitolity

    The lnner Gome of Tqlking lo Women

    Hondling Ponic ond ReiectionAround Women

    Flirting,'lVhol,s the Story Behind Thot?"

    Romontic Moves, Goodbye lntroduction

    Situotionol Flirting

    Deepening

    Advonced Deepening

    Romontic Questions, Port 1

    Romontic Questions, Port 2

    Toking Tolking Further

    Conclusion

    ll55

    77

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    127

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    313

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    lllil'0[ll0il0llMony men ore iust one skill owoy from hoving the kind of interoctions with

    women thot they wont. Jocob wos on exomple of this. Thirty-four yeors

    old, successfi.rl in his business, fit ond o shor;c dresser, he didn't understrcnd

    why he wosn't more successful with women. He noticed thot his friends-

    some of whom were sloppier, fotter ond less finonciolly successful-seemed to be oble trc get women, but somehow he couldn't. He could tolk

    tc women but olwoys ended up "iust friends." h wos discouroging.

    Jocob thought he wqs miles ond miles owoy from his gool of being suc-

    cessful with women; in focf, he wosn'l. He hod iust obout every skill he

    needed to succeed with women ond o lot more, but he didn't know how

    to tolk to women so they felt he wos "romontic moteriol." Thot wos the

    one skill he wos missing. Once we tought him the bosic Flirting Moves

    ond the skills of tolking to women, his level of success with them rose

    dromoiicolly.

    You moy hove o similor problem. Secretly, like Jocob, you moy hove

    wondered if there wos something wrong with you. You moy hovethought thot there's something obout you thot you couldn't see but thot

    women could which drove them owoy. Or, like Jocob, you moy feor thot

    you hove some bosic flow *rot continuolly sets you up lo be "iust friends"

    wilh women.

    The good news is thot nothing could be further from the hulh. Sure,

    you've got problems. Eveqybody does. But os you've probobly seen,

    plcnty of men with more problems thon you succeed with women. The

    t

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    good news is lhere's no bosic flow inside of you thot keeps you from

    hoving the relotionship you desire. lf you con communicote ot oll, you

    con creote romontic connections wifi women. You moy simply be oneskillowoy.

    When you're one skill owoy from being o good seducer,you're like o cor

    with one flot tire. A cor with one flot tire drives os though it hos some-thing seriously wrong with it. lt's impossible to control, the ride is rough,

    ond chonces ore you'll never gel where you wont to go in it. Driving it,

    you'd be likely to conclude thot it hos serious, serious problems.

    Once you reolize thot the problem is o flot tire, though, you see thot iustbecouse the problem wos noticeoble didn't necessorily meon thot it wos

    fotol. By fixing the flot-o simple l0-minute procedure once you knowhow to do it-you tronsform the entire cor ond con gel where you wontto go eosily.

    When Jocob leorned thot the flot tire in his doting system wos his inobil-

    ity to tolk trc women in o woy thot mode them think romontic thoughts

    obout him, he wos oble to correcl the problem ond his interoctions with

    women improved instontly. He hod the missing piece ond wos qble to

    seduce women.

    Your problems, loo, moy not be os big os you thought. A simple set ofnew skills moy moke oll the difference. lf you've ever leorned ony skill

    then you con leorn how to tolk to women; you've simply never been

    tought how before. l/s like leorning ony new procedure. Once you mos-

    ter fie bosics, the rest seems eosy. This book will teoch you whot youneed to know

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    ullau u0ll'11 $al|ll tl'0ln IllH 800[ln Chopter l, you'll leorn obout whot it tokes to initiote interqctions withwomen. You'll leorn obout the imporlonce of "interrupting" women ond

    being oble to redirect their ottenlion toword you. Mosl men foil ot this

    becouse fiey don't know whot lo do once they hove o womon's otten-

    tion; don't worry, we'll cover thot, too. You'll olso leorn qbout opportu-

    nities ond the surprising lruth thot not toking opportunilies with women

    con noturolly leod to toking them, if you do it our woy. You'll leorn obout

    curiosity ond how you con top inlo your noturol curiosity with o womqn

    to eosily creote slress-free conversotions in which you both experience o

    reql connection with eqch other.

    ln Chopbr 2,you'll leorn obout the Hi Progrom, which is the perfoct ploce

    to sicrt building your skills in tolking to women. You'll olso leorn woys irc

    increose your sense of vitolity ond excitement with women, including

    simple woys to moke the sound of your voice something fiol womenenioy heoring.

    However, only knowing whot to soy to women is not enough. You must

    olso understond the "inner gome" of tolking to women, or you won't beoble to get yourself to toke oction with them. ln Chopter 3, you'll leorn

    how trc overcome your tendencies toword being defensive with women

    ond opologizing for your inlerest in them, os well os woys of communi-

    coting with women thot don't require worrying or strotegizing. lnChopter 4, yov'll enhonce your grosp of the inner gome of tolking to

    women by leorning once ond for oll how to overcome the feor of being

    rciected by women. You'll olso leorn how to hondle ponic oroundwomon so you con use the skills in this book, even if you gel nervous.

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    fi8llr t0 nfi 10 lgom8n

    ln Chopter 5, you'll leorn how lo leveroge the hidden seduciive power

    of the simple queslion "Whofs the story behind thot?" You'll olso leorn

    the three time-fromes of on interoction with o womon so you'll olwoys

    know how much you need to risk with o womon ol ony given momenl.

    ln Chopter 6, you'll leorn obout the Romontic Moves thot ore o criticolport of tolking seduclively wilh women. You'll leorn obout looking inio o

    womon's eyes "too long," checking out her body so she feels compli-

    mented, winking ot her ond more. You'll leorn how o mqn who does

    these Romontic Moves olmost never ends up "iust friends" with owomon, ond you'll leorn why o womon lends to put o mon who mokes

    these moves into the potentiol lover cotegory in her mind. You'll olsoleorn the Goodbye lntroduction, which is o simple, powerful, romontic

    ond incredibly low-risk woy lo infoduce yourself to beoutiful women.

    ln Chopter 7, yov'll leorn the specifics of Situotionol Fli*ing. You moyhove noticed lhot men who ore successfi.rlwith women ore often good ot

    ioking oround with women. They ore oble to kid with women obout dif-

    brenl ospects of he situotions thot they find themselves in or obout obiects

    in the immedioie environment. This is Situotionol Fli*ing. ln Choflrer 7,

    you'll leorn the specific sleps of ioking oround with women ond wcys of

    creoting romonlic, flirutious running iokes. You'll see specific exomples of

    Situotionol Flirting ond leorn how tc do it yourself with the women you

    encounler.

    ln Chopters 8 ond 9, you'll leorn how to use the incredibly powerfulromonlic conversotion tool colled Deepening. Deepening is o converso-

    tionol mode thot ollows you to get into o womqn's world ond find out

    whol she's possionote obout. Deepening ollows q womon to open up to

    you right owoy in o woy she moy nol open up to mony people in her

    life. You'll leorn how to use Deepening to odmire o womon's possions,

    which mony other people moy never see, lhus creoting o deep connec-

    tion between you. You'll reod numerous octuol tronscripts of us hoving

    Deepening Conversolions with reol women olongside our comments on

    these exomples, so you con leorn how to opply this skill in your own li[e.

    ln Chopters l0 ond 't I , you'll ieorn obout osking Romontic Questions

    ond conducting Romontic Conversotions. You'll leorn how to oskRomontic Questions in woys thot don't seem corny or intrusive but $olmove lhe conversolion in o romontic direction. You'll reod numerousoctuol tronscripts of us osking Romonlic Questions ond conductingRomonlic Conversolions. Our comments on these exomples will help you

    leorn to proctice these skills when you flirt ond go on dotes.

    ln Choptrer 12, you'll leorn obout toking tolking further: moving from o

    flirting conversolion to getting o womon's phone number ond emoiloddress to setting up o dote. You'll olso leorn importont secrets obout

    going for the first kiss.

    By the time you're through with this book, you will hove on entire tool-

    box for tolking lo women in romonlic, flirtotious ond fun woys. These

    skills ore specific ond they ore leqrnqble. With procfice, you will be oble

    b use them successfully.

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    il01[ il ll$0 ilil$ 800fiThere ore two types of communicotors. You must figure out which type

    of communicotor you ore, becouse eoch type must proctice ond use the

    skills in this book differently.

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    Most of our studenls, ond most of lhe men who ore ottrocled lo our work,

    ore inlroverled communicotors. These ore men who cotegorize them-

    selves os shy. They hove o hord time tolking with women ond ore more

    likely to end up o wollflower thon the lih of the porty. These men oftenhove no clue qbout whot to soy lo women ond need lo slort very slow-

    ly, toking one smoll slep ot o lime ond building from there.

    The primoqy chollenge for the introverled communicotor is leorning to

    express himself. He needs lo intensify ond escolote his signols by 500percenl. He needs ic focus on tolking more loudly, moking more eyeconloct, overcoming his shyness, being curious, osking queslions, show-

    ing romontic interest ond toking risks. ln short, he doesn't need to worry

    obout toning himself down; he needs to worry obout turning himself up.

    ile Hr[1|0u0l|m[ c0nlnffilcauol|The extroverted communicotor tends to be enthusiostic, silly ond fun.These ore often men who ore in soles, teoching or other fields thotinvolve lots of interoctions wifi people.

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    Extroverted communicoicrs odore being the center of ottention. They

    oren'l necessorily scored to tolk to women, but they often don'l know whot

    trc soy. They often think thot the woy trc seduce o womon is trc turn up the

    volume of their personolity. This is whot the introverted communicotor

    needs trc do-but for the extroverted communicoicr; il's o reol mistrrke.

    lf you're on exlroverled communicolor, ky listening more, tolking more

    solty ond chilling out. Don't try so hord. ln short, the exlroverted com-

    municotor doesn'l need to worry obout turning himself up; he needs to

    worry obout toning himself down.

    As you reod this book, keep in mind which type of communicotor you

    ore. This will influence your decisions obout how oggressively you use

    this moteriol.

    0ll[ llt0[fiWe ore olso the quthors of the book How lo Succeed wilh Women.Thql

    book provides o slep-by-step opprooch to finding, meeting, doting ond

    seducing women ond hos been veqy successful. The one thing thot wos

    missing from How to Succeed wilh Women, however, wos detoiledinformolion on how to tolk to women. We hod o few porogrophs on the

    bpic, but thoi wos not enough.

    This book rectifies thol problem ond exhoustively explores the lopic of

    tolking to women. Whot it does not do is repeot the informotion from

    How to Succeed with Women lf you wont lo leorn obout where to meet

    women, seiling up successful Priming Dotes ond Seduction Dotes, hon-

    urllu ftouborlllo$dulbigQHns** . &.. uuu,ltul fl 0niufi[ut0mrmtf,,|tfi

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    [0u 0 tillft lu lfl0lnsll

    dling the problems ond trouble women couse, getting the first kiss, pro-

    ceeding to sex with women ond o lol more, we suggest you get thotbook.

    We ore olso the creotors of o step-by-step 32-doy oudio course, TheMaslery Program, which you might be interesled in. This course, ovoil-

    oble on 16 CDs or 16 cossettes, lokes you doy by doy through o pro-grom designed to instoll the doting fundomentols in your life ond help

    you tolk to ond be successful with women. For more informotion on The

    Mostery Progrom, check out our web site, www.howlosucceedwith-women.com, or write us of the oddresses below

    You olso moy be inleresled in our 4-cossette or 4-CD course,Overcoming ffie 'Nice Guy' Syndrome: How to Stop being Shy withoulBecoming a Jerk.ln this progrom you will leorn skills ond porticipote in

    exercises thot will help you overcome being shy, ond ollow you to feelgood obout showing your romonlic interest lo women.

    And, of course, you might be interested in the How to Talk lo Women

    CD. To moke this compocl disc, we brought women into the studio ond

    flirted with them, creoting Romontic Conversolions using the techniques

    you will leorn in this book. We then went over lhese conversotions ond

    odded our commentory ond "ploy by ploy" so you con heor us flirting

    with women, ond olso leorn whot we ore thinking ond how we ore

    deciding our next sleps os we do it These Romontic Conversotions ore

    oll new. While the techniques we use ore tought in this book, fie con-versotions on the CD ore not lrqnscribed in it. Check oul www.howto-

    succeedwithwomen.com/tolk to find out more obout this useful product

    'llsi,*$i *ai*'i

    We olso do one-on-one doting cooching with o select group of highly

    motivoted men. lf you ore interested, emoil us ot Authors@howtosuc-

    ceedwithwomen.com.

    You con find out obout ony of our products ond services, sign up for our

    free emoil newsletter ond leorn more obout seduction by visiting our

    web site ot www.howtosucceedwithwomen.com. You con emoil us ot

    [email protected]. Our U.S. moil oddress isMosteryTechnologies, P.O. Box 55094, Modison, W|53705.

    And now, pleose enioy How lo Talk lo Women.

    lr

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    cllil[0l'rilt[Et't'ltD[lllg u0ln8ll, Rt$fi, cllll0$Iruilil$$m-Hlpl'$ff$l0ll

    lf you ore like most of our sfudenls, tolking to women seems complicot-

    ed, confusing ond difficult. Yes, there will be chollenges os you leorn totolk to women, but if you're willing to slort ot the beginning ond do the

    work involved, over time you'll succeed. Unfodunotel, mony of us think

    thot fie best woy to go obout leorning is to skip the first slep, or eventhe first few steps, ond to go directly lo "lhe good stuff." Building o firm

    foundotion in the first few simple steps of tolking to women will help dro-

    moiicolly once you stort opplying those steps to the more complex skills

    we will present loter in this book.

    A bod seducer-let's coll him Bob-hos trouble becouse he hosn't mqs-

    tered the bosics. lf you ore like Bob, you wont to ovoid soying hi to

    women, ond you only wont to osk the one fool-proof (ond mythicol)

    seduction question thot will moke ony womon strip ond hove sex withyou in 30 seconds or less. lf you ore like Bob, you expect to overcome

    25 yeors of shyness ond foilure with women ofter reoding five poges of

    this book.

    We wish we could teoch you thot one question thot would get ony

    womon to foll in love wifh you ond hove sex with you in 30 seconds or

    less. We wish we could help you overcome feor ond shyness oher reod-

    ,a.'*A

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    ing five poges of this book*butwe con'i. We con, however, teoch you

    o series of progressive steps you con use to leorn to tolk trc women. We

    con teoch you questions, opprooches ond conversotionol modes thot will

    help you be seducilve-but you must be willing to stort ot the beginning.

    Once ogoin: lf you wont fic become good ot tolking ic women*thot is, if

    you wont to leorn how trc tolk to women seductively-you hwe trc stort ot

    the beginning.

    Seducing women by tolking to them is o process. The first step of thot

    process is onswering the question "How do you get thot initiol conloctwith o womon?" Aftrer we hove onswered thot question, we will go on to

    leorn woys of tolking with her, woys of flirting with her ond woys of con-

    strucling ond conducling romonlic, seductive conversotions. Getreody-this plone's obout to toke off.

    'illlffiBB u0llr$$F"We hotre lrite, useless odvice like "Just be yourselP' or "Just go tolk toher " This kind of odvice is worse thon useless becouse it offers nothing

    specific to do yet leoves you feeling bod obout yourself for not following

    it. Sure, being yourself is o good thing, but how should you do thot with

    women? More specificolly, which port of yourself should you be? We oll

    weor mony hots in our lives. When you opprooch o womon, should you

    be the self you ore ot work? The self you ore ot church? The self you ore

    ot o strip club? We oll need lo cultivote the romontic ports of ourselves-

    the ports thot ore noturolly fun ond seducfive, but iusl soying you should

    do so is nol enough. lf iust being yourself hod worked, you wouldn't be

    reoding this book. "Just be yourselP' is pretty worthless odvica.

    ',lgl:Fr8$&i'lE

    lsirtl}$,;. *iillr. gr {tie$& r sn* *s{t-"{,ip|ls$$;ul}

    The some goes for "Just go tolk to her." We've oll been given this lome

    odvice, but most of us hove no clue whot fo tolk to o womqn obout. The

    o$er doy, o shockingly beoutiful young womon we know wos wonder-

    ing oloud to us why our books, oudio courses ond other moteriol ore

    necessory ot oll. 'All you hove to do is go up to people ond tolk ond iustbe yourself," she told us. "lt olwoys works for me " As she soid this, her

    full breosts rose ond fellwith eoch breoth ond her beoutiful blonde hoir

    swoyed os she moved her heod.

    We olso know o mon who is o model in o lorge city. When we go outwith him, we're olwoys omozed*hol women opprooch him ond give

    him their phone numbers. He olso likes to tell us his "secrel": "Just be

    yourself qnd tolk trc women lt's reolly not o big deql "

    Obviously, both these people moke most of us wont to vomit with roge.

    You don't hove to work hord ot leorning how to tolk to the opposile sex

    if you ore in the top .01 percent of beoutiful people; if you're thot hot,

    the world will beot o poth to your door. For the rest of us, lhere ore spe-

    cific skills to leorn, which ore much more effective thon "Just be yourselP'

    ond "Just go tolk lo her."

    Our work hos olwoys been obout breoking complex sociql interoctions

    infic teochoble steps so lhose who employ our methods con succeed. Our

    ctudents hove discovered o new level of eose ond freedom with women

    when they've leorned lo use this moteriol. We'll stort smoll, so thot no

    mqller how shy you hove been, no motler how shut down you've been,

    no motter how mony problems you've hod with women, you will be oble

    b bke oction ond move forword.

    I llruur utw$mn

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    ll0r,l te leli ln lly8|n*n

    We remember how hord it wos to tolk to women ond how much couroge

    it took for us to lronsform our skills ond our obilities. We remember how

    we wished we hod help in figuring out whqt to do, ond we remember

    how we hod to stort with very smoll steps before we could move on to

    longer conversotions. We hod to figure out tolking to women firough

    triol ond error. At first we constontly foiled. We were eoch os uncom-

    fortoble ond owkword when tolking to women os ony guy we've ever

    met. We foiled more often thon you've foiled, ond we mode fools out of

    ourselves time ofter time-but we stuck with it ond tronsformed our dot-

    ing lives. We mention this not to tool our own horns but to give youhope. No motler where you ore in your life, no motler how little experi-

    ence you hove with women, there is hope. You con leorn to seduce

    women. You con leorn how to tolk to women. And you con hove the suc-

    cess you wonl.

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    You con'l be on effective seducer unless you feel self-expressed oround

    women. A mon who is self-expressed hos chorocter. By thot we meonthot he's on individuolwho follows his own poth. He feels confideni mok-

    ing decisions obout where he wonts to toke his life. He embroces fiewoys in which he is similor to os well os ihe woys in which he is differ-

    enl from others. He is oble to be himself without being overly concerned

    obod how women will respond-ond he's not tqying to control or fix

    women. He is outhentic ond honest. He doesn'l squelch himself, suppress

    himself or hide from life.

    lil&|'r}'l i3*ii;*igtl':r*: 1. * s&. 8ii,ri{itli&s{i,r}N, $e' ,-*t$p*:i$is,}

    When we soy thot you should be selFexpressed, this olso meons thot you

    must find your own woy with the moteriol in this book. None of our

    books or oudio courses ore designed to be o set of rules lo box you in.

    We oll hove different opprooches with this moleriol-even we, Ron Louis

    ond Dovid Copelond, hove very different opprooches from one onoth-

    er. We ogree on the fundomentols bui we opprooch them differently.

    The moin commonolity omong oll effective seducers is thot eochembroces his unique opprooch ond style. The best woy for you to com-

    municote with women is to find your unique style. Otherwise you'll seemfoke qnd feel qwkwqrd when tolking lo women.

    l-e/s digress for o second ond look ol the opposite of selFexpression:

    withholding, feeling bottled up ond unoble to tolk to women. We've

    bund thot men ore most upset, frustroted ond ploin ol' nuts when they

    oren't self-expressed. Not getting loid doesn't drive guys nuts; o guy con

    go months without getting loid. Whot drives men nuts is nol interocting

    wiih women, not tolking lo women, hiding oul ol home ond not being in

    lhc gome. Whot drives men nuls is hoving the desire to moke conlocl

    wilh women ond not doing onything obout it.

    Avoiding the risks of life drives men crozy-not foiling or being reiect-

    rd, When you're engoged in life, toking risks ond interocting withwomon, women will find you ottroclive. Whot foils every time, however,

    lr rioying on the sidelines of life feeling bottled up ond depressed.

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    Your first tosk on the poth to becoming o seducer is lo underslond ond

    occepl thot you, the mon, ore going to hove to interrupt women in order

    to get their ottention ond stort o conversolion.

    Le/s exomine the word "intrerruption." h's o horsh word. Most of us osso-

    ciole interrupting people with being rude, obnoxious or disrespectful.

    For mony of us, this is especiolly true regording interrupting women.

    When we soy interruplion, we don't meqn to imply being rude orobnoxious ot oll. We use the word inlerruption, though, becouse it com-

    municoles o horsh truth obout tolking to women: when you first interoct

    with o womon, you will probobly hove lo do something specific to direct

    her otlenlion owoy from whotever else is going on in her life ond toword

    you. You ore going to hove to toke some oclion-though os you will see

    it doesn't hove to be o big oction-to get her ottention. There's forceful-ness oboul the word interruption thot describes the energy you will need

    to do this.

    As you hove no doubt noticed, women ore usuolly not thinking obout

    you. They ore off in their own world, on their own vector, in their own

    flow. Hot women ore not likely to come up to you ond soy, "Hey, yov

    look like on interesting guy. lwould love to hove o conversolion with you

    ond then seduce you." Therefore, if you ore going to interoct withwomen, your first tosk is to get their ottention. And you get their otten-

    tion by interrupting fiem.

    'l]ssfixl: &1 , ]

    ws'l}**;. gi$g:. gflfl issi$gi e{ $ *{}{f"{ll$ps$$ii3|

    ln o certoin sense/ you ore interrupting women on o deeper ond deep-

    er level with every stoge of o seduclion. You inlerrupt her when you first

    soy hi to her. You inlerrupt her on increosingly deeper levels when you

    tolk for the first lime, when you osk for her number ond emoil oddress,

    when you hove Romontic Conversotions, when you osk her for ond con-

    duct the first dote, when you go for the first kiss ond so on. You ore

    olwoys interrupting her ond initioting something deeper. The burden of

    initioting ond interrupting women will be on your shoulders until you

    die. The tools in this book will help you corry thot lood. ln foct, they con

    turn this burden into o boon for you - not iusl with women but with everyoreo of your life.

    llliluca]lt u0ln81l n[El|l|llD[ u0ll?Sometimes o mon will osk us, ' Vhy should I risk reiection? lsn'l this the

    oge of equolity? Why don't women initiote with me, ond interrupt me?"

    You know, it/s funny-women tolk o lot obout how men don't feelenough. They comploin thoi men oren't more sensilive ond bemoon how

    oll thot "mole privilege" ond "mole power" hove mode men shut down

    emotionolly. Well, you know the truth os well os we do. Men's egos

    oren'l o mess becouse men ore so oll-powerful or becouse men live lives

    of complete ond totol privilege qnd eose. Men's egos ore o messbecouse they don't hove ony tools for hondling relection, ond they hove

    tc throw their ego in the sewer every lime they opprooch-ond riskbcing reiected by-o womon. So of course men oren'l going to be emo-tionolly sensitive. Constonl reiection mokes you wont to be o little lesscmotionolly sensitive, right? Whot on oslonishing surprise.

    :

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    llllu 18 lslll l0 l{s$8n

    Here's the bottom line: women don'l opprooch you becouse doting is not

    foir. Thot's why. They don't wonl to throw their egos in the sewer, ond

    they don't hove io becouse they're women. They ore ollowed to demond

    equolity os much os they wont ond still leove oll the risking of initiotion

    to you (ot leost in the eorly ports of doting).

    We suggest thot you occepl thot this is the woy it is qnd thot insteod of

    being upset obout it, you reolize thot this octuolly gives you o certoinkind of power. lf you hove to do oll the interrupting ond initioting, you

    gei to soy when you will opprooch o womon. You get to soy when youwill osk her ouf you get to soy when you will fli*with her. Once youstort seeing thot hoving to do oll the initioting ond hoving to toke oll the

    risks gives you the power to go ofter whot you wonl, lhe fqct fhot women

    don't hove to initiote with men will not bother you so much.

    Okoy, our little men's rights speech is over. We ogree thot you hove

    every right to be mod obout this stote of offoirs-but stoying mod does-n't work. lt won't get you the girl. The good news is thqt when you know

    how trc toke the proper risks with women, one step ot o time, you don't

    hove to shut down your emotions ond become on unfeeling ierk in order

    lo initiqte with women. And once you know how to do it, you'll be qble

    to go ofter the women you wont with o lot more freedom thon mostwomen feel they hove lo go ofter the men they desire.

    Your obility to initiote with ond interrupt women is criticol. Everything in

    this book is built on thot skill. Successful seducers understond the stoges

    of seduction ond ore willing lo stort ot the beginning. Before we give you

    specific woys to stort inlerrupting women, it will be helpful for you to

    i't[,df':'Uirl*iii,W ,'ltif;1. frlH- r{i]'lUlili:{ ilil0Sifuipfft5lttl:

    leorn o little obout o few core concepls: the numbers gome, opporluni-

    lies not token, ond giving ond receiving risks.

    ffi0 ]lll]llB0F$0alnB

    As you leorn to interrupt ond initiote with women, you must remember

    rhot oll your interoctions with women bosicolly boil down lo o numbers

    gome. A certoin omounl of the time you will succeed; the resl of the time

    you won't. The greot thing is thot if you hove enough interocfions, yoursuccess is oll but qssured.

    lfs like the insuronce solesmon who knows thot he needs to moke 75

    cold colls to get one oppointment ond thot it trckes four oppointments to

    get one sole. Therefore, he knows thqt he needs to moke 300 cold colls,

    give or toke, lo get one sole. He knows ifs o numbers gome ond thot oll

    he hos to do is to continue moking those colls. Eventuolly the numbers

    willwork in his fovor ond he'll mqke o sole. With women, it might toke

    l0 interruplions to get one conversotion, 10 conversotions to gel onephone number qnd l0 numbers to get one dote. This is good to knowbecouse eqch "foiled" interoction brings you closer trc success.

    ln How lo Succeed wilh Women, we wrote time ond ogoin fiot dotingir o numbers gqme. We're soying it ogoin now. l/s empowering to know

    thot doting is o numbers gome becouse knowing thot will help keep you

    going ficword your eventuol success. Every time on interruption or initi-

    otion with o womon doesn't work, remind yourself thot fiot "fqiled"inlcrrupiion brings you one step closer to the inevitoble success.

    ':i

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    [08r 6s Islll t8 wemsn

    The key difference between successful seducers ond unsuccessful ones is

    thot the successful ones know il's o numbers gome ond keep going nomotler whot. Unsuccessful seducers whine to their friends, hide in their

    bedrooms or feel upset ond give up opprooching women entirely. Troin

    yourself to see thqt opprooching women is o numbers gome.

    0DD0rullnEn$ ll0[ rflfi0ll

    Men olten feel bod obout themselves when they see on opportunity toopprooch or tolk to o womon ond they don't toke it. They don't toke the

    opportunity becouse they ore scored or upset or becouse they simplydon't know whot to soy. This leods to missed opportunities ond plenty of

    good old-foshioned self-criticism. "l wos such on idiot not to tolk to her,"

    hese guys will soy tc themselves. 'Whot o moron I om. I con't believe how

    stupid I wos not to tolk to her. lt wos o perfe'ct opportunity. She wos so hot.

    l'll probobly never gel on opportunity like thot ogoin, ond I blew itl"

    There ore lots of times in life when beoting up on yourself to get your-

    self to behove better is o good ideo. There ore lots of times when itworks. Unbrtunotely, this is not one of those times. When you don't toke

    on opportunity with o womon ond then punish yourself for not toking it,

    you lusl ottoch o lot of poin to the whole ideo of toking opportunities to

    tolk to women. This mokes you less likely to tolk to o womon the next

    time on opporfunify comes up/ nol more.

    There's o sequence in the woy most men treot opportunities with women.

    First, you don'l see opporfunities ot oll. h seems like there ore no women

    on his plonet for you trc interoct with. Second, you stort to see opporfuni-

    l{}*syyr $&iil ; l**e s{}.'{iri&,Eiif i*si*$ {gl, **tt -fxpllsssi'3}

    ties but don'l yet hqve the obility to trrke them. lf you ollow yourself to let

    thot be okoy, in time you simply find yourself storting to toke those oppor-

    tunities thot life presents to you. Howeve4 if you beot yourself up for not

    trcking opportunities, this sequence is disrupted. Beoting yourself up for not

    toking opporlunities iust mokes it horder to see ond trcke them in the future.

    People who troin group focilitotors know thot this is true. At first, students

    moy hwe no ideo ot oll obout how to leod o certoin type of process ino group; they simply wotch in owe qs other people leod. ln time, they

    stort to understond how to leod but they don't quite know the processwell enough to step oul ond octuolly leod; they wotch from the sidelines,

    full of good ideos obout how they would leod o process but not quitereody to toke chorge themselves. lf they ollow this to hoppen withoutbeoting up on themselves, in time they simply nolice thot they ore step-

    ping out ond leoding*ond nothing speciol needs to hoppen for thot to

    occur. lf they beot lhemselves up, however, they stoll the entire leorning

    process ond moke it horder to toke oction when the time comes.

    Once you breok the link between seeing on opportunity ond feeling bod

    obout not toking it, you cqn breok the hold thot this cycle hos over you.

    Wc suggest thot you let yourself go through o phose of purposely nottoking opportunities with women. Just observe them ond let yourself feel

    good obout yourself even when you oren't toking them. Soy lo yourself,

    'l'm oble to see opportunifies, ond thot/s on importont step. l'll tokeopporfunities loter." ln time, your nervous systrem will be so used to spot-

    llng opportunities thot it will be much eosier to trrke them.

    Sroing opportunities to interruptwomen is o little like slowing down reol-

    lly, Wc hod o studenl who wos on experi in the field of stock troding.

    t uuu hul'rr flf .

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    ll0{, [8 T8llr ft l$8N1$R

    He wos oble to see ond toke odvontoge of finonciol opportunities thot

    just seemed to flosh by too quickly for us to see or understond whot wos

    hoppening. He hod o completely different relotionship with morkets thon

    we did. To us, the stock morkels ore iust one big mess; we con't see

    opportunities in them. Becouse of his yeors of experience wotching the

    morkel, this guy wos oble to slow things down. He told us thot he did

    this by not beoting himself up when he missed opportunities. This is whot

    you must do too.

    0rurils all[ R$c$M|lg RHil$ln this book we ore going to teoch you effuctive trcols thot con help you hwe

    deep, romontic ond seductive conversotions with women. But lc wield these

    tools effectMely you musl underslrcnd the noture of risking with women.

    Doing ony of the things we tolk obout in this book will require toking

    some risk. Most men ore exlremely overse to risking with women; they

    live their lives trying to ovoid it. Mony men who oren'l successful with

    women ore committed to eliminqting risk with women; tho/s their unsuc-

    cessful strotegy for.success.

    Men ore obsessed with not risking with women moinly for two reosons.

    Firsl, they don't wont to be hurt by o risk gone wrong. lt totolly sucks to

    toke some big risk with o \ /omon only to be shot down in one of the

    olmost infinite number of woys women hove of shooting down men.

    Second, men-especiolly shy men-wont to eliminote risk with \/omen

    becouse they ore ofroid thot they will somehow hurt the womon they risk

    ill9G,_,'Ulsiilt itg$lvrr" S{I{. LOrtUIlUts {Ut i{lt "{fprgJniuf

    with. They ore ofroid thot if they toke o risk, the womon will be upset,

    offended or emotionolly domoged in some woy.

    For ihese men, the opporent onswer to both of these problems isdecreosing risk ond increosing control over their interoctions withwomen. They stort looking for the foolproof, olwoys-completely-in-con-

    trol, no-risk system for seducing women. Like o bod solesmon who seeks

    thot "mogic close" thot will force o customer to buy, buy,buy, o guy who

    con't risk with women will look for psychologicol tools thot con force o

    womon to be ottrocted to him. He'll buy pig-pheromone colognes, hop-ing the scent will owoken o womon's inner vixen. He'll ploy "subliminol

    seduclion" oudiotopes for her, hoping it will somehow creote chemistqy

    between them. Or he'll tqy to leorn hypnosis, hoping to use it to bom-

    boozle o womon into toking her ponts off. He does oll this in on ottempt

    ic eliminote oll risk with o womon ond to estoblish in its ploce complete

    conhol over qll of his interoctions with her.

    There ore severol problems with this. First, eliminoting oll risk with o

    womon ond estoblishing complete control over your interoctions with her

    doesn't work. ln foct, il's the opposite of whot works with women. Think

    obout how you feel when you're wilh someone who's committed to com-

    plebly controlling your interoction with him ond the outcome of thot inter-

    oction: you con't get owoy fost enough. Well, thof's exoctly how women

    belwih o mon who's committed to eliminoting risk, controlling the inter-

    oction ond forcing o cerloin outcome. (solesmen ore sometimes like this.)

    h doesn't motler how good o pre-scripted rop you come up with; i/s

    Fooky for o womon to be with o guy who is trying to conhol her.

    I uwlrut nrffa

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    lll0r ts il[ lll ll{0ms[

    Second, most men get discouroged with me$ods of seducing women in

    which the monlrq seems lo be "control, iontrol, control." Men wonl to

    be oble to express themselves ond creote successful, seductive interoc-

    tions wifi women. As one mon told us, "lf I wonted to hide behind o'foke self,' fien I might os well go to o proslitule." lf you wont onythingdeep or spontoneous with women, eliminoting qll risk ond controllingeverything is not the woy to get it.

    At the some time, it olso doesn'l work to "iust do if'-to toke huge risks

    with women oll of the time. We used to know o guy whose life's philos-ophy wos "Go for lhe roor." This meont thot every time he sow some-

    thing scoqy or risky, he hod to do it-becouse if he didn't, os he put it,

    he "wosn'f reolly living his life." We think this is ridiculous, ond the trou-

    ble it creoted in his life bocks us up on thot. Just becouse you con toke

    o huge risk with o womon doesn't meqn thot you should.

    Just os risking becouse you con isn'l the onswer, letting go of qll control

    in your inleroctions with women is probobly o bod ideo trco. Letting go

    of guiding or directing conversqlion in ony woy will oll too often gel you

    onother femole "triend," ond we've qll hod quite enough of thot.

    lf eliminoting risk entirely ond controlling every'hing doesn't work with

    women, ond toking oll the risks you con ond letting go of oll controldoesn't work, whol does? The onswer is thot you must loke risks, but you

    musl toke them in o sensible, oppropriote ond orderly foshion.Surprisingly ond porodoxicolly, you octuolly provide more of o sense of

    both sofety ond excitement to women when you toke intelligent ond

    oppropriote risks with lhem one step ol o lime. Tho/s whot creotes both

    chemistry ond trust.

    lil**i l {il}*i }9rl#s ?}s}r. l?ie&. Suritt$&|} fix8 $slf"gx{}i,*s$i{i'1

    IAfi|llg fl|l[ 0M1lg RHfi$Mony men think thot when they toke o risk with o womon they ore some-

    how toking something from her, but the iruth is this: when you toke on

    oppropriofie risk with o womon you ore giving something to her. Your

    risk with her creotes o spoce for her fo toke o risk bock with you, which

    builds trust, sofety ond ottroclion with you. lf you don't ioke o risk with

    her there's no spoce for her to risk with you, qnd she con't hove o relo-

    tionship with you, even if she wonis one.

    Think of it this woy: often o guy will woit oround for o womon to riskwith him before he risks with her. He wonts her to soy hi, he wonts her

    trc osk him out, he wonts her to go for the first kiss. But why should o

    womon do something you oren't willing to do? Remember, most of the

    lime q womon is looking to you to set the poce ond feel for your inter-

    oction. lf you toke q smoll risk with her, she will see on opening to do

    lhe some wiih you. lf you toke no risks ot oll, try to keep conlrol of every-

    thing ond work lo force o certoin outcome with her, she will do the some

    with you-ond itwon't be the outcome you wont. She will be controllingond defensive, ond her gool will be to get owoy from you.

    Ar o generol rule, women will only risk os much os you do, if thot much.

    When you toke on oppropriole risk with o womon, it octuolly provides

    on opening for her to be self-expressed ond hove fun with you. This is

    whot we meon when we soy thot you must provide risks for women.

    Whcn you toke on oppropriote risk with o womon, you give her the

    opportunity trc risk bock with you. Thot's providing o risk, ond it's thefoundotion for creoting chemistqy ond trust with women.

    I

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    li0lr &s lsix ls ll{eilNsrl

    When the two of you toke o smoll risk together-for instonce, you moy

    provide o risk by winking qt her ond she moy risk smiling bock-o little

    trust is built between you. You con then build on thot trusl to provide o

    slightly lorger risk. For instonce, you moy provide o risk by osking her

    'Whofs the story behind lhot?" obout her neckloce, ond she moy toke

    o risk by telling you obout how she got it on o trip to Centrol Americo.

    When thot risk hos gone well, there is even more trust between you. You

    con then provide the next lorger risk ond she con risk bock. ln lime, o

    sense of trust ond sofety develops.

    Simultoneously, this process creotes o reol sense of excitement ondchemistry between you. The two of you ore constontly in the process of

    being "on the edge" with eoch other, constontly reveoling o little more

    of yourselves with every risk, olwoys trusting ond risking o little moreeoch time. Thot process is where excitement ond chemistry come from.

    Thot process is where o lot of oilroclion comes from. And thot is oprocess you con leorn how to monoge without being conlrolling, trying

    to eliminote risk or ottempting to force on oulcome.

    R11-0l|-]l0[llt[g lll8ll

    Building o relotionship with o womon is o lot like building o house in which

    your intimocy ond connection con live. You build thot house one brick ol o

    time. Every lime you fiake o risk ond she trckes one bock ond it works, you

    put onolher brick in the wolls of the house. After o while you've built four

    wolls of trust thot con contnin the relotionship you hwe with her.

    ;{}s*n***}}}9rw{}}s*{}.*1,**. ,;{pi*$it}lq $*l}$i*if"f}i$risiii'it}tx

    lf you risk too much loo fosl, you ore trying to live in the house before it

    is built, ond trouble will come if ony problems occur. At the some time,

    if you don't risk ot oll, you never even build o foundotion for o relotion-

    ship, much less the four wolls ond roof. The level of risk you should toke

    is reloted to how much of this house you hove built. lf you hove o lot of

    trust built up from toking mony risks together you con proceed lo some

    bigger risks. lf you don't hove o lol of trust built up you need to toke

    smoller risks.

    lfs importont to underscore thot trust is built over lime ond thot chemistryond ottroction ore not the some os trust. A mon who doesn't hove much

    hcility or experience with risk will trust o womon woy too fost. He'll trusl

    hcr utterly ond completely with his entire heort the moment he experi-

    onces ony chemistry with her. Thofs o reolly bod ideo.

    Wc hod one student who wos doting o women whom he wos cerloin

    wq3 "fhe one" ofter only one dote. He wos hoving tremendous success

    wih her os he meosured it: she seemed to like him, it wos very exciting

    ond delightful to be with her ond they were hoving omozing sex togeth-

    rr, He iumped in deep, reolly opening his heort lo her in o motler of

    doyr, totolly risking himself emotionolly. After oll, whot could possibly go

    Yvrpng in such o whirlwind romonce?

    Wrll, plenty could go wrong ond plenty did go v/rong. After o couple of

    vrtkr, this "perfect womon" disoppeored. She rorely returned his collsqnd rtrcrted blowing off their dotes. Finolly she told him, "l like you, but

    wlfi my lib the woy it is, ifs iust too much of o hqssle to hove o relo-

    T tlillll[ 0bilrulntrfillr

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    iionship right now. Besides, l'm sort of seeing this other guy..." He wos

    devostoted, heodbroken ond even more ofroid of toking risks withwomen thon he hod been before.

    When you meet o hot womon with whom you hove greof chemislry, yovr

    tendency might be to toke big emotionol risks with her os quickly os you

    con. Thot is o big mistoke. h's insone to risk your entire heort right owoy.

    Toke smoll risks one ot o time ond build fust over time. lf you risk toomuch too quickly you'll hove your heort sploftered oll over the povement,

    ond you'll hove short, possionole offoirs thot end with you being heort-broken qnd olone.

    Thot hoppens when you iump in too deep too fost, ond you do thot when

    you misfoke chemistqy for truslworthiness. Just becouse you hove chem-

    istry with o womon doesn't meon she won't floke out on you. lt doesn't

    meon she won't hove emotionol problems thot will couse her to leove. lt

    doesn'l meon you con counl on her. But when you hove greot chemistry

    with o womon, you're oll too likely to think thot it meons you con count

    on her, ond you'll end up risking too much with her.

    The solution is trc go sloily ond build trust with o womon before you giveher your heort fully. ln other words, you must risk slowly, over time, in

    the woy we will show you. lf you ore going trc foll in love with o womon

    you ore reolly ottrocted lo, you need to toke risks one slep ol o lime to

    find out if you con lrust her. You need to know if she's o psycho who'sgoing trc go nuls ond toke off on you, breoking your heort. You con only

    find this out by risking the proper omount ot the proper tempo.

    {ss*r,,irs&i{:s i#r}'}}*i}"*l8l{.${l|,i8&i&s *r}i'$s'riNrp},ss$i8l}

    On the up side, most women ore incredibly ottrocted to o mon who con

    sey, "l reolly like you, ond I wont us to toke the time to leorn to reollytrust eoch olher so we con truly open up ond be intimqte. I wont to toke

    things slowly ond build o connection \ /e con trust." Soying this sort of

    thing tends to moke o womon feel reolly sofe wifi you ond desire youoll the more. After oll, you oren't just trying to get os much sex out of

    her os you con, like oll those other guys. She likes this; therefore, she

    wonls lo hove sex with you. A mon slowing things down ond risking with

    her one step ot o time con be on incredible ophrodisioc to o womon.

    Slowing down o romontic relotionship with o womon you ore oftrocted

    to might suck, bul il doesn'l suck os much os I ) hoving o short offoir thot

    ends in heortbreok or 2) being so ofrqid of heortbreok thot you devel-

    op o mossive feor of toking ony risks with women.

    Ill$ r0oll0lnu 0F Rr$[$

    Le/s look ot how to provide risks for women. Mosl nice guys do not toke

    enough risks qnd they do not provide enough risks for women, sowomen hove loo few opportunities to toke risks bock. How do you pro-

    vide risks lo o womon? You provide risks by toking risks. Thofs impor-

    lonl, so lefs soy it ogoin: You provide risks by toking risks.

    It helps t'c think of risk os o currency thot you exchonge with o womon.

    You put up o penny ond she puts up o penny. You put up o dollor, she

    puts up o dollor. You put up tren dollors, she puts up len dollors. You're

    o

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    ll0ut 0llllt lb t|,0ln0n

    trust. lf you put up your penny ond she tokes it ond runs, you know not

    trc put up o hundred dollors. But if she puts up o penny bock, you know

    you con tqke the risk to put up o nickel. lf she gives you o nickel bock,you con then put up o dime.

    Let's give some specific exomples now of the kinds of risks you con toke

    ot different levels: penny risks, dollor risks ond $10 dollor risks.l"Greet," we heor you soying-"now lolking wilh women is like bonk-ing ond investing." Who would've known?)

    Bizorrely, though, thot is whot tolking lo women is like. Successfulinvestors leorn lo toke intelligent finonciol risks; most of fie time theyleorn how fo do thqt by toking smoll risks ond moving up to lorger ones

    os they gei better ot it. As o resuh, they get better returns thon do peo-

    ple who never invest their money, who never firke ony risks with it ond

    who leove it in the bonk eorning interest ot three percent or less. Byleorning obout intelligent risk, successful inveslors ore oble to leveroge

    lheir ossets, toking the risks thot deliver the best returns.

    Penny Risks. You con think of the first risks you toke with o womon-the interruptions thol ollowyou to speokwith her-os penny risks. Soyinghi is o penny risk. So is moking eye contocl, winking ot her, smiling other, checking out her body ond the other Flirting Moves. Eoch one of

    these smoll octions tokes o risk with o womon ond gives her the oppor-

    tunity to risk bock with you by being responsive in some woy. lf she does

    respond with o risk of her own, you ore in business ond con move on lo

    the dollor risks.

    irl$sr,,{r,i8*'ls w8r, s8. &is}{.gsr:f}$$s a{.|$ $s',r"gi;prsssi',r}

    Dollor R.isks. The dollqr risks ore lorger, but if the penny risks wentwell, why not move on? Complimenting o womon is o dollor risk, os is

    osking o question we'll teoch you, 'lVho/s the story behind rhot?" The

    Goodbye lntroduclion, which you'll leorn, is o dollor risk, os is Situotionol

    Flirting, Deepening ond osking Romontic Questions. These risks oll pro-

    vide her with the opportunity to risk more by shoring more obout herself

    with you. So she storts to risk liking you, which meons she could get hurt.

    These risks ore whot generote the excilement in o relotionship.

    $ t O Oollqr R.isks. Asking for her number ond emqil oddress, settingup o dote, showing up for the dole, doing somelhing together on the

    dote, touching her, going for the first kiss ond being even more sexuol

    ore oll bigger risks. These risks ond oll the risks thot leod up lo her shor-

    ing her life with you, even if only for o little while. She slorts to risk thot

    you might chonge her life in woys she did not plon on.

    This is on exciting process for both of you. And with eoch new risk you

    evoluote how it went before toking the next one. lf o smoll risk did not

    pon oul, don't go on to toke o bigger risk. lnsteod, you might wonl to

    toke o smoller risk ond see if thot works. This is oll o motter of risking

    step by step.

    lfs importont for you to reolize the risks you provide when deoling with

    women. Eoch risk offers o spoce for mogic to hoppen between the two

    of you, ond it's o gift thot you os o mon provide. You're not perpetroF

    ing evil or hurting someone else; you're providing thot excitement thot

    women need so much.

    I &

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    ll$ril $o l$l{ b $,omfir

    il[BllrgBll[RFfi$ r0flD [0 RBUAl|ffiEverything we will teoch you in this book is to some degree o risk youwill hove lo toke with women. By knowing thot ond by being oble to tqke

    those risks one step ot o lime, you will hove the power to creole excite-

    menl ond trust in your inleroctions with women. Of course, some ofthose risks won't work out, but we'll teoch you how to hondle reiection

    too. ll/s oll port of leorning how to tolk to women.

    As you use the tools in this book, your monlro should not be "control, con-

    hol, conhol." Thot will only get you intrr trouble. Your monlro should be

    "risk, risk, risk." lntelligent risks, token step by step. By using these tools

    to risk being romontic rother thon to conhol the interoction, you will be

    oble to mqnqge the orderly unfolding of o relotionship. lt moy be short-

    term, il moy be long term. lt moy be deeply intimote, it moy be purelysexuol. But there will be o reol connection-ond you won't hove to sell

    yourself out to get it.

    cltlT0$tIu

    An importont ospect of self-expression is curiosity. h's similor to enthusi-

    osm: you've goi lo use it or lose it. Once you've repressed your curiosi-

    ty long enough, it tokes time to gel it bock.

    Mony of us were tought os children not lo osk questions, to ovoid being

    loo curious. We qll know the expression "curiosity killed the cot." Asking

    questions ond being curious were often soid to couse trouble.

    N,l$*Nr|jp$i;i$ &XsrNr*ll_ *is&, $[ 8i']$i&i| *il$ &{}ls"*lrsFesfi i*ii

    Another "problem" with curiosity is thot when you stort osking questions

    you slop being in conhol of the interocfion. When you osk o womon

    questions obout herself, suddenly you're nol in control of whot she might

    soy. As we've soid, most guys come to us wonting o line or rouline.They're looking for o structure they con impose on on interoction thotwill keep them in control ond get her romonticolly interested. But when

    you loke the risk of not knowing whot is going to hoppen, ond surren-

    der to the choos of interoctions ond conversotions with women, you're

    more likely to connect with them ond more likely to come ocross os fun

    ond ottroclive.

    You con stort the process of letting out your curiosity by osking \ /omen

    questions ond simultoneously letting go of ony oufcome. Let go of trying

    to get into her ponls ond getting her number (for o second) ond iust see

    if it feels different. We're not soying thot trying to get info her ponts is o

    bod thing ot oll-we're iust soying thqt when you concentrotre on gettinginto her ponts os your sole oulcome ifs very difflcult to moinloin o con-

    versotion ond therefore hord to get into her ponls.

    You never know where q conversotion is going to go wifi o womon, butif you've got to stoy in control ond reslroin your own curiosity ond never

    osk o queslion you don't olreody know the onswer tc you'll never be suc-

    cessful. Most men lusl give up becouse not knowing where on interoc-

    tion is going is iust too scory.

    Another odvontoge of leorning to be curious is thot i/s not the leost bit

    monipulotive or scom-oriented. When you toke risks with women ondthey risk with you, reol intimocy con develop.

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    lf being curious is difficult for you right now, don't worry. After you stort

    experimenting with being curious it will become o lot eosier.

    fl0ut m n$il u0ilt$ll m$$il01t8We're now going tc explore how to osk women questions. This is notrocket science. So mony men feel like they need trc know the right things

    to soy to o womon. The truth is thot you don't need speciolized esoteric

    queslions; you iust need to know how to be curious ond osk questions.

    Le/s look ot the different kinds of questions you con osk. There qre ini-

    tiol questions, the first questions you osk someone. Then there ore fol-

    low-up queslions, which follow up on the response to your first question.

    Pretty simple so for, right? You got it. The bosic sequence is you osk o

    question, she responds ond you osk onolher question. lt s olmost likehoving o reol live conversotion where you ore opening your mouth ondtolking One question leods to onother ond before you know it women

    ore reveoling themselves to you. They ore risking themselves to you ond

    you ore risking with them by osking questions ond reveqling yourself.

    Here ore some hondy, eosy-fo-use rules for osking queslions ond hovinggood conversotions with women.

    R$[I]lg [[8$[l0[$ H ll0$ [ltB $0tn8fl$ 0Fr8rlll0 [ c0lllpilIn$Ilrl/s greot to compliment women, but most of our students find it intimidoF

    ing trc compliment o womon right owoy. Luckily, you don'f hove to strcrl o

    i:, i*f{r{}$*ili gw*ssl}. *is&- i}$t il}si&$ *1ltiE$lr $ssry* ii }{

    conversotion with o compliment. lnsteod, you con osk questions. Ofcourse/ you shouldn't insult women either. lf you osk o womon "How did

    you get your hoir so ugly?" or "How did you get so slupid?," you oren'l

    going to go onyraAere good. We include these only for comic relief.When you first meet o womon it usuolly mokes sense lo slort with o sim-

    ple question.

    R$H[g B[8$il0[$ ffi ll0[ ilt$ $m$a$ lnafilll$ $[flE$1ll8ll[$

    Mony of our students moke the error of moking siotements rother thon

    osking questions. For exomple, o student recently told us thot he'd osked

    o womon o question the other doy. Here's how he described it: 'lVewere qt o concert ond I soid to her, 'The floor sure is sticky."'Well, tho/s

    not o queslion, ond thot doesn't offer much of on opening for her torespond. You need to osk questions thot evoke o response from her, not

    simply mqke slotemenls.

    R$filll$ ll0$ilm$ H nFF01|0ll[Fl'0ln [ilffng fl[0lru u0llt'$$lFlf you were ol o concert ond you wolked up to o womon ond soid, "l

    sure like the bond," Louis ond Copelond would come to your house ond

    breok your finger. This is o slotrement obout yourself, not o questionobout her. You must leqrn the difference. This point seems simple, bul

    mony guys mess it up. You need to osk her something thot will engoge

    her in o bock-ond-forth conversotion, noi spew your opinions obout life.

    u: "lo dl blr l . : ft wu.hubmilrd$itrmmiltit t

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    ll0rx b0 lrllt T0 $rolnen

    At firsl, o womon won'l be interested in you or your opinions. lnsteod,

    she'll be inlerested in tolking obout herself. This meons thol your focus

    should be osking questions thot let her do iust thot. Rother thon tolking

    oboul your fovorite color, osk her whol her fovorite color is. Rother thon

    roving obout the greot new CD you iust brought, osk her whot sort of

    music she likes. Rqther thon tolking obout your fovorite seoson, osk her

    whot her fovorite seoson is.

    m llm a$il $ru[l[, $ll8B$u [ll$$il0lt$When you're interocting wiih o womon ond osking questions you ore

    not ollowed to osk "Do you come here often?" You ore olso prohibited

    from osking obout the weolher. Those two questions ore so clichgd thot

    you will come ocross os o totol boneheod. The lost thing you ore for-

    bidden from osking is'nVhofs your sign?" These oll sound too much like

    lines ond come ocross os boring ond stupid. The good news is thot there

    ore countless good, simple questions. Once you get your curiosity cir-

    cuitry going, you won'l hove o problem osking them.

    m m a$H 0u$t'ng $Bfiilal 0il$$n0n$You might find yourself wondering, "Gee, ore lhose breost implonts?

    How do they stond up so well?" Thofs obviously not o question you're

    going to wont to osk. We probobly don'l hove to tell you this, but we

    wonled to double- ond quodruple-check.

    We're not suggesting thot you ovoid thinking obout sex or ovoid won-

    dering obout q womon's breqsts or whot she's like in bed. Those ore

    l0[f tFfl sfi lte lv*':tstt" &is&. {}{iri*$sge}l{l $clr.gx$p*s${*n

    things we qll wonder obout when we tolk to women. Don't even tqy to

    suppress fiose thoughls. We're iust soying thot none of those questions

    will fly. Just remember thot you risk foce slops, explosive forms of vio-

    lence, sexless nights ond trouble if you moke overtly sexuol comments.

    R$fir[g a[8$[ru]l$ ffi ll0[ all lllmrl|0xffil0llIt helps trc soy something like 'Wov/' or "Reolly'' or 'Thofs interesting"before osking o bllow-up question. When you use those phroses, trcke o

    breoth between questions ond listen to her response/ so q womqn won't

    hel os if you're grilling her. Put owoy the interrogotion-room spotlight ond

    moke sure you woid.bombording her with ropid-fire questions. Some

    men will keep osking o womon '1/Vhy? Why? Why?" or borroge her with

    questions until she flips out. Tho/s onother woy trc hove her feel like she's

    locked in on inlerrogoiion room with you. lf you osk one question ot o time

    ond go ol o slow, reloxed poce, lhe conversotion will foel nofurol ond eosy

    trc susficin.

    When some guys ore excited they feel pumped up. While being ener-

    gized is o good thing, sometimes guys in this stote tend to osk too mony

    questions too quickly ond nol ollow women enough time to respond. Justremember to slow down, give her time to respond, odd o few oppre-ciotive comments ond you'll be fine.

    RU0n u8$-0Fll0 m0$il01l$

    "Do you like ort?" 'Whot sorts of orl do you like?" Con you tell rhe dif-

    brence between fiose two questions?

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    llllu, t0 Tflllr ls *18llr8fi

    Lefs try this on Ron ond Dovid.

    DAVID: So Ron, do you like ort?

    RON: Yes.

    Thot cleorly doesn't build much of o conversoiion. Le/s try it ogoin.

    DAVID: Ron, whot kind of ort do you like?

    RON: l'm o big Jockson Pollock fon. I like his huge obstroctpointings.

    DAVID: Whot else do you like obout his work?

    RON: I love seeing fhe movies of him sploshing huge cons of point

    onto convoses. l'm olso interested in how he lived his life.

    DAVID: So hove you seen his work in person?

    RON: Yes, l've been lo severol exhibits of his work in New York.

    So you see where this con go. A yes-or-no question iust doesn't cut it.

    For inslonce, "Do you like the bond?" is o problem. A woy to toke thot

    question out of the yes-or-no reolm is to osk 'lVhot do you like obout

    the bond?" or "How to do you like the bond?" Stort poying otlention fic

    the questions you osk women. Moke sure you ovoid putting them in o

    form thot will hqve lhem onswer yes or no.

    lnts 'r'irirfiirrq Hl8msfl fiisfi . 0uri0sftti afilj $BlFt:tpflstsi0lr

    u0ln$ll ff$ 1l0u aruau8 Ft'18il[19This moy come os o shock lo you, bul our experience shows thot mony

    women ore nol the slightest bit receptive lo ony'hing we soy. lfs impor-

    tont therefore to remember thot when o womon is meon to you or unre-

    sponsive, i/s not o personol ottock on you. We oll hove to deol withunfriendly women ot one poinl or onother.

    Remember, ifs not your foult she wos unfriendly, ond you did nothing

    wrong by opprooching her. When o womon is unfriendly, the best thingto do is lo move on to the next one. lfls pointless to woste your time ond

    energy tolking lo women who qre unreceplive. ln foct, it con domoge

    your self-esteem to hohg oround women who treot you like crop. Next

    time o womon is meon to you, remind yourself thol there ore otherwomen out there who'd be hoppy to tolk to you ond would oppreciote

    your initioting with them-ond then move on.

    ril8 plll|RBS$ 0F 0$fir[s ilrB$[l0ll$H r0 s$ll$l'ffi8 a 80[u01|$aH0ll

    Don'l worqy if o womqn stroys from the queslion you've osked her. Somesfudents get upset when they musler lhe couroge to osk o womon o ques-

    tion ond then, rother thon onswering their question, the womonresponds by tolking obout o wholly different topic. Remember, when you

    osk o womon o question ond she responds with ony commenl ot oll, it's

    good news. Your focus should be on getting o conversotion going.

    I llrullr,lduhrrs ilUl{rl

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    ll0ut t0 lallt I0 llll0msn

    For exomple. imogine you're osking to o womon in the liquor storeobout wine ond she storts lolking obout o movie she iust sow. Don't soy,

    "Hey, I osked you oboul wine-iusl onswer the question, lody " Thepoint is thol you wont lo be engoging with her, ond it reolly doesn'l mot-

    ter whot you tolk qbout. The foct thot you ore octuolly hoving on inter-

    oction with her is good news. Hoving her open her mouth ond tolk to

    you is os good os it will get ot first.

    lllll|ilHllIu0lltr clll|n$ffiuFor us, curiosity ofien shows up os o smoll flicker in our minds thof we must

    poy close ottention trc. lf you don't poy ottention when you feel curious

    obout something, your infieresl fodes. At this strrge of the gome you're

    retroining yourself ond creoting new hqbits trc let your curiosity out. At first,

    occessing your curiosity might bel owhvord ond clumsy, but itwill gel eos-

    ier over time.

    Asking o queslion of o womon ond listening to your curiosity doesn'l

    need to be o big deol. lt doesn't require you to find complicoted orunusuol topics to explore. ln the following exomples you'll see how

    we've loken incredibly mundone situotions ond creoted simple questions

    to osk women. After reoding through these exomples ond doing some

    experimentolion on your own, this will be o lot eosier for you.

    :A

    ).:

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    TilflMP$ I

    SITUATION: You're ot o concert, listening to the music ond stondingnexi to on ottroctive womon. Whot do you do? Here's the sequence we

    recommend you stort employing when tolking lo women:

    First, breothe deep into your body. Mony men breofi shollowly, ondhigh in their chests-this reolly doesn't leove you feeling powerful-forlhot, you need to breothe more deeply. We coll this "breofiing into your

    bolls." When we soy this, we meon toke o deep breoth, ond imogine

    thot feeling going oll the woy down to the core of your body, oll the woy

    down into your bolls. lt moy sound silly, but ifs been our observotion thot

    it mokes o big difference.

    Second, osk yourself whot you could be curious obout with this womon.

    Third, listen lo the response you gel.

    Here's o choin of curiosity questions thot you could use ot the concerl:

    "So, whot do you thinkof the

    bond?"When she onswers, "They're

    greol," run through the sequence ogoin:

    o Breqthe into your bolls.o Ask yourself whot you could be curious obout in her response.o Listen to lhe onswer.o Ask your follow-up queslion.

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    / llllfit[o TalHo tl,llmsn

    For exomple: 'lVhot ore olher bonds you've seen thot you like?" This

    question fien generoles onother response from her. You might osk,"Hove you seen this bond before?" She might onswer, "No, I hoven't

    seen them before." So you then repeot lhe sequence:

    o Breothe into your bolls.o Ask yourself whot you could be curious qbout in her response.o Listen to the onswer.r Ask your follow-up question.

    For exomple, 'lVhot do you think of lhem?" or 'The boss ploye/s got

    reolly wild hoir. Whot do you think obout it?"

    See how simple this con be? Once you reolize thot you don't hove to put

    yourself on the line ond show off, tolking to women becomes o lot eqs-

    ier. Whqfls importonl is for you to osk questions thot moke her impressed

    with herself-qnd when you focus on osking questions thot moke her

    impressed with herself, your life will be much eosier.

    l[r&sr{llFl'ills $ismsNl" Rislf, $tl$Esi&s ail$ $8F-r[l$ns8$i0rN

    ffa]npt$ 2

    SITUATION: You're in line wqiting trc buy something in o grocery store

    ond you're stonding nexl to o womon. You wont to tqlk b her. Whot doyou do?

    o Breothe into your bolls.. Ask yourself whot you could be curious obout with this womon.I Lislen lo lhe onswer.. Ask your initiol question.

    For exomple, you might soy, 'Thot's on interesting pin thd you're weor-

    ing. Whofs the story behind it?"

    She might soy, "Oh, I got this in Nepol."

    So you go through the sequence ogoin:

    o Breofie inlo your bolls.r Ask yourself whot you could be curious obout in response to whot

    she soid.

    e Toke o second ond listen to the onswer.. Ask your follow-up question.

    You might soy, "Nepol, how interesting. Do you like to trovel?" or"Nepol, thofs reolly on interesling ploce. Whot were you doing there?"

    From there you moy find yourself creoting o conversotion with her

    ft ru ruuullr ilru s*- r- -, Uurlt,trdubor ooordultHffl

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    llour t0 lalfi l0 l{8me[

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    SITUATION: You're in line woiting to buy something ond you're stond-

    ing next lo o womon with o new cell phone honging on o clip from her

    purse. So whot do you do? Go through lhe sequence:

    o Breothe into your bolls.o Ask yourself whot you could be curious qbout with lhis womqn.o Lislen to the onswer.. Ask your initiol question.

    "l see you hqve one of those new cell phones, how do you like it?" She

    responds, "ll's greol, it gets much better signol thon the other one I hod."

    Repeot the sequence:

    o Breothe into your bolls.o Ask yourself whot you could be curious obout in her response.. Toke o second ond listen to lhe onswer.o Ask your follow-up question.

    You might soy, 'lVhot hoppened to your old phone? Did it breok? Ordid you find there were ports of town where it didn't work?"

    These ore not very personol queslions, but you con see how these con

    leod to deeper conversotions. You con olso see how simple ond nolurol

    they ore.

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    ffa|nl$ 4SITUATION: You ore in o bookstore next lo o womon reoding o book.

    Go through the sequence:

    o Breothe into your bolls.. Ask yourself whot you could be curious obout with this womon.. Toke o second ond listen to the onswer.. Ask your initiol question.

    You might soy, 'Thol book looks reolly interesting. Whot do you think of

    it so for?" She might respond, 'Well, i/s pretty good."

    Run through the sequence ogoin:

    r Breothe into your bolls.. Ask yourself whot you could be curious obout in her response.o Toke o second ond listen to the onswer.r Ask your follow-up question.

    You might respond, "So, whot do you like obout the book?" or "ls thol

    outhor good? Hove you reod o$er books by thot outhor?" or 'lVholhove you been reoding lotely?" or "ls there onything you con recom-

    mend to me?" Those ore the kinds of questions thqt stort o conversotion.

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    SITUATION: You ore in o coffee shop ond you ore ordering coffee from

    the hot womon behind the counter.

    Stort by running through the sequence:

    o Breothe into your bolls.. Ask yourself whot you could be curious obout with this womon.. Toke o second qnd listen to lhe onswer.o Ask your initiol question.

    For exomple, 'Xou must see oll sorfs of stuff working here. Whot's the

    most unusuol thing you've seen while working here?"

    She might respond with something like 'A gry come in here once ondordered l0 cups of coffee ond dronk them oll within eight minutes." Sowhot do you soy next?

    You go through the sequence ogoin:

    r Breothe into your bolls.. Ask yourself whot you could be curious obout in her response.. Toke o second ond listen to lhe onswer.. Ask your followrup question.

    You might soy something like 'lVhot would hove hoppened if you hoddronk thot much coffee?" or "lI thot wos your weirdest doy working

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    here, whot wos ihe best doy working here?" or 'lVhofs the coolest thing

    you've seen while working here?"

    Or you might hove osked, "Do you drink o lot of coffee while working

    here? I bet there's o lot of lemptotion."

    She might hove onswered, "l con't drink coffee onymore, ond I used to

    love it."

    Run through the sequence:

    r Breothe into your bolls.e Ask yourself whot jiou could be curious obout in her response.o Tqke o second ond listen trc the onswer.. Ask your follow-up question.

    You might soy, 'lVhot do you drink now insteod?" or 'lVhy did you stopdrinking it?"

    One thing to notice here is ihol once ogoin fiese ore simple questions.

    Also, notice thot when you osk them you're not shoring o lot obout your-

    self. You don't need to try to be impressive yourself. She doesn't corethot you dronk 25 cups of cofhe one doy ond how cool you ore forbeing o speed freok. She's interested in herself. Remember to focus on

    drowing her out with your questions, not on showing off.

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    ffffi[18$SITUATION: You're ot the gym. After you finish o workoul, o womon

    wolks up ond prepores to use the some mochine you were on. So whql

    do you do? Run through the sequence:

    . Breothe into your bolls.

    . Ask yourself whot you could be curious obout with this womon.

    . Toke o second ond listen to the onswer.o Ask your initiol queslion.

    Perhops you soy something simple like ' Vhot's your fovorite mochine

    here?" She responds, "l love doing bicep curls. Thofs my fovorite."

    So you go through the sequence ogoin:

    o Breothe into your bolls.o Ask yourself whot you could be curious obout in her response.. Toke o second ond listen to the onswer.o Ask your follow-up question.

    You might osk, 'Vhot is it qbout the bicep curl thot you like?"

    A simple question like thot could stort o conversotion. The more we proc-

    tice hoving simple, eosy interoclions with women, the more powerfr.rl we

    see thot they con be. Just simple curiosity*not tqying to impress ony-

    one-con leod to getting o womon's phone number, o dote, o connec-lion, ropporl ond more.

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    ffalnp$ ISITUATION: You ore woiling to be seoted ot o coB. A womon is

    stonding next lo you who looks like the type of womon you'd like to be

    tolking to. You notice thd there is o lot of unusuol ort on the woll. Soyou run through the sequence:

    o Breothe into your bolls.. Ask yourself whot you could be curious obout with this womon.. Toke o second ond listen to the onswer.. Ask your initiol question.

    You might sey, "Hi,whot do you think obout oll this ort?" She mightrespond, "h/s not my style, but I guess i/s okoy."

    Then you go through the process ogoin:

    o Breothe into your bolls.o Ask yourself whot you could be curious obout in her response.o Tqke o second ond listen to ihe onswer.o Ask

    your follow-up question.

    You might respond, 'Whot kind of ort do you like?" or 'lVhot kind ofod do you think might look better up there?"

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    SITUATION: You ore ot o reslouronl ond on otlroclive wqilress is woiF

    ing on you. You see her ond wont io tolk to her. So you slort by running

    through the process:

    Breothe into your bolls.

    Ask yourself whot you could be curious obout with this womon.

    Toke o second ond listen to the qnswer.

    Ask your initiol question.

    You soy something like T Vhot's your fovorite food, even if it/s not on the

    menu?" She responds, "l love o reolly good steok."

    Run through the process ogoin:

    o Breothe into your bolls.o Ask yourself whot you could be curious obout in her response.. Toke o second ond listen to the onswer.e Ask your follow-up question.

    You might respond, "So whot is the best steok you ever hod?" or ' Vho/s

    the best reslouront you've ever been Io?" or 'lVhofs your fworilerestouront in lown?" or'lVhofs your fovorite ploce in town for steok?"

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    SITUATION: You're ot o liquor store looking for tequilo. An otiroctivewomon working there qsks if she con help you. You run through the

    Process:

    Breothe into your bolls.

    Ask yourself whot you could be curious obout with lhis womon.

    Toke o second ond listen lo the onswer.

    Ask your initiol question.

    You might soy, "l'm looking for some good tequilo. Whot kind do youlike?" She might respond by telling you the brond she likes. You con then

    run through the process ogoin:

    o Breothe into your bolls.. Ask yourself whot you could be curious obout in her response.o Toke o second ond listen to the onswer.. Ask your follow-up question.

    So you might comeup with the question 'nVhot do you like obout it?,"

    which would be o perfect next question. You could olso osk, 'Whichploce serves the best tequilo or morgoritos in town?" This could buildinto o deeper conversolion.

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    SITUATION: You're qt fie video stcre looking for o DVD or o video. You

    see o cute womon stocking videos. You decide to trclk to her. Here's whol

    you do:

    . Breothe inlo your bolls.o Ask yourself whot you could be curious obout with this womon.. Toke o second ond listen lo lhe onswer.. Ask your initiol question.

    You might osk her, 'Whot is your fovorite new releose?" or 'lVhofs the

    best movie you've seen recently?" She'll probobly onswer the question

    ond mention o newly releosed movie, so you run through the process

    ogoin:

    o Breothe into your bolls.. Ask yourself whot you could be curious obout in her response.. Toke o second ond listen to the onswer.r Ask your follow-up question.

    You respond, 'lVhot did you like obout thol movie?" or "ls thot the kind

    of movie you normolly like?" or 'lVhot kind of movies do you tend to

    rent?" This will get her telling you obout herself. Then you con osk her

    more questions. Over time, these sorts of conversolions con gel much

    more intimote ond personol.

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    We strongly recommend you proctice being curious wifi both men ondwomen. A gome thoi we like to ploy (though we don't tell other people\ /e ore ploying it ) is seeing how long we con go in o conversotion with-

    oul reveoling onything obout ourselves. ln the gome, you're onlyollowed to osk questions of onother person.

    We were recently listening to o speech given by morketing guru JoyAbroms. He wos tolking obout the power of questions ond the power of

    listening. Abroms told o slory obout o time he wos troveling cross-coun-

    try ond met o guy on on oirplone. Abroms storting osking the guy ques-

    tions obout himself. They tolked for hours-neorly the whole trip. At the

    end of the conversotion, the mon lurned to Abroms ond soid, 'You ore

    the most interesting guy l've ever mel." Abroms commenled fiot theironic port wos thot he (Abroms) did not soy onything obout himself; he

    iust kept osking questions.

    We mention this story lo show how people will bond with you ond feel

    comfortoble with you when you give them the gift of osking questions.

    When you provide womenon opportunity trc tolk ond express themselves,

    they will not only feel bonded to you but they will olso feel oppreciotive

    lhot someone listrened to them. They moy not consciously reolize thot you

    only listened lo them ond only osked questions without shoring muchobout yourself. Still, os in Abroms's story they will be conscious of feel-

    ing closer to you.

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    We osk o lot of women if they've ever been on o dote with o guy who

    iust tolked obout himself, never shutting up or osking her onything. They

    oll soy yes. They mention thol i/s rore for o mon to be o good listener.

    As porf of your curiosity skills, toke the time to listen to how women

    onswer your queslions.

    Good news: you ore now free of hoving to generote mogicol converso-

    tion lo impress o womon. Better news: you ore now free lo osk questions,

    lisien to the responses ond osk more queslions. o

    clraD[8r 2I1t8 ilt pt'0graln I uffilt[uYou've leorned obout the importonce of interrupting ond initioting inter-

    octions wifi women. Here's o simple woy to stort putting thot knowledgeinto oction, storting todoy.

    Lel's tolk specificolly obout how you interrupt women ond redirect their

    otlention toword you. Mony men think thot whot they reolly need is o

    greot opening line. Guys often osk us, 'Whot ore the opening lines thot

    women like?"

    Here ore some opening lines we know women don't like, jusi for your

    omusemenl:

    "Hey boby, let's do breokfost tomorrow-sholl I coll you or nudge

    you?"

    "Hi, my nome is Dovid. Remember il, becouse you'll be screomingit loter tonight "

    "Hey boby, ore you weoring your spoce underweor tonight?

    Becouse your oss is out of this world "

    "Hey se4y, how would you like to ioin me in doing some moth?

    Le/s odd you ond me, subhoct our clothes, divide your legs ond

    then muhiply "

    "lf I could rewrite the olphobet, I would put U ond I together."

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    'There musl be something wrong with my eyes. I con't toke them

    off of you."

    "Excuse me, do you hove o quorter thot I con borrow? I told my

    mother thot I would coll her when I found the girl of my dreoms."

    "Congrotulolionsl You've been voted most beoutiful girl in this

    room. The grond prize is o night with me "

    "Hey boby, is your dod o boker? Couse you sure hove greol bunsl"

    We ore getting nouseoled.

    Lefs be obsolutely crystol cleor: we ore nol suggesting you use these

    lines. We include them to drow your ottention to the bosic problem with

    opening lines: no motter how cute, sexy or obnoxious your opening line

    is, ofter you've used it, you ore still foce to foce with o womon. When

    you use some opening line, she either loughs, snorts or throws o drink

    in your foce. Then you still hqve to come up with something to soy next.

    lf onything, cutresy opening lines moke it horder to connecl with owomon, becouse so often they ore stupid lines thol piss women off.

    The University of Chicogo did o study of opening lines (your tox dollors

    ot work ) ond found thot "Hi" is the mosl effective opening line with o

    womon. "Hi" is followed in effectiveness by "Do you like the bond?" (But

    only if there's o bond ploying-try to keep thot in mind.)

    The bottom line is ihere is no opening line thot con keep you from hov-

    ing lo generote o conversotion with o womon, so you might os well use

    hi-ot leost it won'i piss her off. Of course, you'll still hove the problemof needing to generote o conversotion with her, but we'll get to thot.

    First, lefs tolk obout thot best of oll opening lines, the word "hi."

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    Getting into the hqblt of soying hi to women is on importont first step in

    hoving longer conversotions with women, conversolions thot leod to

    seduction ond sex. Therefor