I’ve re-written this intro like 10 times but fuck itGet ready and put your seat belt on

We’re going for a ride

This online publication (book?) is a collection of my past experiences over the past few months including tweets, photographs, poems, and whatever else I threw in here.

So yah

Enjoy

Dicks is Love, Dicks is Life

HappySad

Recently, i noticed this eventEveryone around me seems to be contentGoing on dates or good gradesNew schools and getting paidAnd there is meSitting alone with netflix on tvBut im not upsetThis is what i've spent my life trying to getSeeIts not about personal gainI just want to make people happy, no matter the painSo who cares if im not really your best friend or first choiceIll be waiting when you get dumped by your dream boyOr when she cheats on youIll come around when you feel blueGive you a hug tell you i careShow you my smile so you know i'll be thereAnd when youre off happy, heart filled with gleeI dont expect you to think about meBecause youve got much better things to doRather than worry about you know whoAnd i just wanna be clearIm not being cynical this is honestly sincereMy goal is to make you all happyMake you strong enough to get on without meAnd when you trip, when you fallIll be there to listen to it allYou could say its sad how i liveAnd wow who would i kidBut seeing people i care about smileWill keep me goin, for a long while

I’ve always thought those lights spelled out “love”Its kinda ironic or somethin

FINALLY. Aka why I hate you, like you, and all the things I never said

Well you did itMaybe this was always your goalYou took your kiss like a gun to my headand darling, I hope you leave a holeThis might hurt your feelings, it might make your crybut what drove you to do this, honestly whyI’ll be straightI’ve known most of my life that it’s YOU I’ve wanted to datebut you’ll drag me along a long and leave me at the gateSo guess whatI’m done

I say that every time but I never meant it not oneWish your knew what you did to mecreated a fucking dependencyI’ll hang onto your every wordLike the last pill in a bottle it’s absurdYou’ve always dodged this conversation so I’ll go and say it

You know I’ll always like you and you hate itDon’t waste time tryinna debate itTake a look at yourselfCause I grew up in the land of Chief Sealthmeaning you were my sunshine breaking through the cloudsthese words might be quiet on paperBut in your head, I hope they’re loud

Cuase that what you are in mineand I hate that I think your gorgeouscuase I hate you but I’ll give you every last second of my time

I tried to gently close this doorBut I’ll slam it this time for sureIt’s your turn to go out on a limbI’m sorry that I’ll never live up to him

So now it’s your turn to beginJust rememberYou’ll always be my favorite till the end

Hey mom, all my friends jumped off a cliff and I didn’t. I hope you’re proud or somethin

Paper Kuts

Sometimes when I'm bored

I like to pick apart my flaws

Like they were peter piper's pickled peppers

As i stand tall on a mountain of paper balls and beers cans

Cause thats where my confidence is at

If i could, id un-crinkle the cans into catapults and turn the paper into planes

Then in a fort of pillows and anxiety i'd fight away the demons in my brain

But i cant do that

I cant take a stand on a mountain of balled up hope and sad beer cans

So i pick at my demons like a scab

Starting from the edge and peeling up

I know it hurts i know it can

And the scars just add to my collection

So i'll take a stand on a mountain of crushed paper and hollow beer cans

Cause its about time i got turned in the right direction

Ill take my cans and paper and tape em into layers from my head to my gut

Like some armor against my anxiety

So when they finally come to pick me apart

Their fingers will get covered in paper cuts

See windmills, Go fast

ONE

One plus one equals two

But that was never the case when it came to you

Cause there was always a negative later on in the equation

So no matter what i end up alone in every situation

I guess I wasnt smart enough to do the math

Cause i would have figured out that i was going down a very short path

And this path ended in a fork with 2 directions

And I fucked up like a victim of natural selection

So

Two plus two equals four

Like the two arms i held you with before i went out the door

I didnt know it was the last time

Thinking so for ahead I got lost in my mind

But you said youre happy, so i can't complain

Because thats what matters most to me, call it insane

I was too nice for my own good

And ive been told that things arent how they should

And thats what you said too

In a fuckin text message, those faithful words colored in blue

Im the best choice but im not your choice

So i know youll be out with other boys

And ill be here on my ass

Adding one plus one

Just trying to do the math

For some reason, I keep befriending kids on the internet

122streetwear.com

Special

They said i was special

Like front row of class never got an F or a bad note

Little nerdy 4th grader who liked to gloat

They said i was special

Like drew little pictures on every test

Cause i was done 30 minutes before the rest

They said i was special

So i was confused when they pulled me out of class

Told me with my handwriting i'd never pass

Then came the visits to doctors with dark offices and long names

Tests on tests they said to take at my own pace

Looking back they were lying to my face

Everyone knew something was wrong

And i was the butt end of this joke getting dragged along

So yeah

Maybe i can't write, maybe i get overwhelmed and maybe i can't be alone at night

But god damnit im special

I've made it this far with a few trophies on my shelf

And all these lies where never in the plan

I just wanna be genuine with who am

So maybe My brain is just a bit off

But honestly,

pretending otherwise isnt worth the cost

Sometimes I tweet things instead of saying themSometimes I say things instead of tweeting them

It happens

Someone take away my texting privileges

This has been said before, but I would be nothing without my friends So shoutout to ya’llA few people I’d like to mention specifically but in no specific order:

Cameron LaniAlexKyleBrittaJackCameronChloErinJoshBased GodRubyJennaBrendanMaddyJustinArthur

And that is just a few, I could probably fill up an entire book with the names of people who have helped me grow and shown me support.

Thanks for putting up with me

*I know the name Cameron is listed twice

Im not an alcoholic I just really enjoy beer and drinking with my friends and 40s

Im lactose intolerant but like I love pizza, milkshakes, and ice cream do you see my struggle here

This isnt even a book its a zine but imso lazy that i dont correct people and

let them call it a book but its not

Honestly all those "Bush did 9/11" jokes are hilarious to me

Fuck racists, homophobes, transphobic people, and my high school principal who is all three

I got a 2000 on my SATs i swear im smart

One time my school tried to suspend me for wearing a banana suit

These words sound better in person but i cant make a book

out of videos

Jet fuel can't melt steel beems

Forreal tho it truly is skate or die like you have two choices so pick

The struggle is having a vision in your head and being unable to share that vision

Closing thoughts

My growth game is so strong I should be reintroducing myself to people every 6 months because I’ve changed that much

…and the moral of the story is

If you find something that truly makes you happy

do it.

Courtesy of 122 Street Wear x Dylan PiercePrint a copy, print 100 copies, tell a friend, tell a homie

All photography and writing are originalSorry this was so lame

*

*photo cred to Lani