improve your conversation
Post on 21-Oct-2014
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Improve Your ConversationTRANSCRIPT
Improve your Conversation(Start communication in a different way)
An inspiration from management ArticleBy: Brian TracyBy: Brian Tracy
One key to becoming a great conversationalist is to pause before replyingpause before replying.
A short pause, of three to five seconds, is a very classy thing to do in a conversationclassy thing to do in a conversation.
The Benefits of Pausing
First benefit,You avoid running the risk of interrupting if the other
person is just catching his or her breath before continuingperson is just catching his or her breath before continuing.
Second benefitSecond benefit,You show the other person that you are giving careful
consideration to his or her words by not jumping in with your own comments at the earliest opportunity.
Third benefitThird benefit, After pausing you will actually hear the other person better. His or her words will soak into a deeper level of your mind and you will understand what he or she is
saying with greater clarity. By pausing, you mark yourself as a brilliant conversationalistas a brilliant conversationalist.
Ask Questions
Another way to become a great conversationalist is to question for clarification.to question for clarification.
Never assume that you understand what the person is saying or trying to say. Instead, ask, "How do you
mean, exactly?”
This is the most powerful question I've ever learned for controlling a conversation. g
It is almost impossible not to answer.
When you ask, "How do you mean?" the other person cannot stop himself or herself from
lanswering more extensively.
You can then follow up with other open‐ended questions and keep the conversation rolling along.questions and keep the conversation rolling along.
Paraphrase the Speaker's WordsAfter you've nodded and smiled, you can then say, "L if I' hi i h Wh ' i"Let me see if I've got this right. What you're saying
is . . .“
Demonstrate AttentivenessDemonstrate AttentivenessBy paraphrasing the speaker's words, you demonstrate in
no uncertain terms that you are genuinely paying i d ki ff d d hi hattention and making every effort to understand his or her
thoughts or feelings.
Demonstrate AttentivenessAnd the wonderful thing is, when you practice effective listening other people will begin to find you fascinatinglistening, other people will begin to find you fascinating.
Demonstrate AttentivenessThey will want to be around you. They will feel
l d d hrelaxed and happy in your presence.
Listening Builds TrustThe reason why listening is such a powerful tool in
developing the art and skill of conversation is becausedeveloping the art and skill of conversation is because listening builds trust.
Listening Builds TrustThe more you listen to another person, the more he
or she trusts you and believes in you.
Listening Builds TrustListening Builds TrustListening also builds self‐esteem. When you listen
attentively to another person, his or her self‐esteem will naturally increase.
Listening Develops DisciplineFinally, listening builds self‐discipline in the listener.
Because your mind can process words at 500‐600 words per minute and we can only talk at about 150 words perper minute, and we can only talk at about 150 words per
minute, it takes a real effort to keep your attention focused on another persons? words.
Listening Develops DisciplineIf d t ti lf di i li i tiIf you do not practice self‐discipline in conversation, your
mind will wander in a hundred different directions.
The more you work at paying close attention to what the other person is saying, the more self‐disciplined you will
becomebecome.
Listening Develops DisciplineIn other words, by learning to listen well, you actually d l h t d litdevelop your own character and your own personality.
Action ExercisesHere are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into actionideas into action.
First, make a habit of pausing before replying in any ti di i Y ill b d t hconversation or discussion. You will be amazed at how
powerful this technique really is.
Second, continually ask, "How do you mean?" in response to anything that is not perfectly clear. This gives you even more time to listen well.time to listen well.