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INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

PRESENTED BY

Prof. Aman Mane

GIT, Lavel

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Welcome & Introductions

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INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

Interpersonal skills or ‘People skills’ are an essential ingredient for success in career. These skills create positive communication climate in which people feel valued

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Importance of Interpersonal Skills

Knowing Yourself Maintaining

Control

Maintaining Motivation

Recognizing Other’s Interests

Communicating

Flexibility

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Building Interpersonal Skills

Read

Talk with your team

Complete a formal evaluation

Work with a coach

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Situations...

One way to create & maintain positive communication climate is to offer PRAISE

The climate of relationship can be enhanced by offering CRITICISM in the most constructive manner

On-the-job conflicts are inevitable. The goal should be to handle them constructively

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WONDER OF “I” AND “YOU” LANGUAGE

Many communicators unnecessarily attack the person when delivering the message

“ Your report is too sloppy. You will have to retype it”.

“This is third time, you have been Late for work. You will have to be more punctual

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Statements like this are often called “you” language because they point a verbal finger of accusation at the receiver. So it is highly essential to convert these statements into Descriptive statements are often termed as ‘I’ language

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WONDER OF “I” AND “YOU” LANGUAGE

“I am afraid the boss will get angry at both of us if we turn a report with this many errors. We will get a better reaction if we retype it”.

“Since you have been coming late, I’ve made a lot of excuses when people call asking for you. I’m uncomfortable with that, that’s why I hope you’ll start showing up on time.

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Continue….

Statements like these show it’s possible to be nonjudgmental & still say what you want without landing verbal punches. These statements are more ‘Complete’ and express both the speakers’ feelings & the reason for bringing up the matter – things most evaluative remark ‘Don’t do’.

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FOCUS ON SOLVING PROBLEMS, NOT ON CONTROLLING OTHERS Some messages try to force others

to do something they don’t agree. E.g. it is easy to say “Look, I don’t have time to explain – just do it my way”. Because control shows a lack of regards for the other person’s needs, interests, or opinions.

In contrast ‘Problem oriented statements’ aim at solving both person’s needs. So one has to focus on solving the problems ‘My way’ or ‘Your way’ is not a matter of importance.

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HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY

Once people discover that they have been manipulated, a defensive reaction is almost guaranteed

By contrast simple ‘Honesty’ is less likely to generate defensiveness.

Even though others might sometimes dislike what you have say, your reputation for candor can earn you the respect of co-workers, subordinates, & above all management

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SHOW CONCERN FOR OTHERS

Lack of acknowledgement is a strong disconfirming message. By contrast, a genuine message of interest can make a tremendous difference

A simple apology for making you wait can do wonders

The secretary who takes the time to find the right person to answer your questions can leave you feeling grateful & worthwhile, encouraging you to do business with that company again

The manager who seems genuinely concerned with your opinions – even if she doesn’t agree with them –is easier to work than one who brushes your concerns aside

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LISTEN WITH OPEN MIND

Listening with an open mind makes good sense

Whether the people are in your department or another, subordinates or customers, they probably have better knowledge than you hearing them out may teach you something useful

Listening open mindedly can promote good relationship.

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‘PRAISE’PRAISE SHOULD BE SPECIFIC

Broad• “Good job on

handling that complaint”.

• “I appreciate the support you have given me lately”.

• “You have really been on the top of your work lately”.

Specific“You really kept your cool when that customer complained”. “Thanks for being so flexible with my schedule while I was sick”. “You have finished every job this month within two days”.

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PRAISE PROGRESS, NOT JUST PERFECTION

You might wonder whether some people do much of anything that deserve sincere praise

If you look for an outstanding performance, the answer may be “NO”; but you can still deliver genuine compliments by looking for progress. Consider following examples

“Congratulations Ms. Sujata for delivering a nice guest lecture for our students on the subject ‘Job opportunities in Software Field’.

“I know we still see things differently, but I am glad we were able to work so well together on the assessment work”.

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HOW TO PRAISE

Praise intermittently Too much praise can be uncomfortable.

constant praise may sound insincere. It may have a bitter odor of ‘Musca Polishing

Relay praise It is better to wait until you see the benefits

of singing their praises to others who deserve to know. You will win the undying gratitude of the person you are complimenting; you will show your sense of security & team spirit ; & you will be informing others about information they will probably find valuable. Praising others take little time, & it benefits everyone.

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Praise sincerely Insincere praise is worse than

no praise at all. ‘It casts doubt on all your other compliments’. It suggests that you think the recipient is naive enough to believe in your phony compliments

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CRITICISM’A TOOL WHICH ‘ DESTROY’S’OR ‘IMPROVES’ THE WORK

Praise is a pleasure to give & receive. In real field of work, Criticism is a fact of life.

Sometimes you have to deliver a complaint, & other times you are on the receiving end of other’s gripes.

Either way, criticism can start a cycle of defensiveness that pollutes the communication between the people

With enough skill, you can learn to both deliver & respond to criticism in ways that can maintain –or even improve working relationships

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AN ART OF CONSTRUCTIVE‘CRITICISM’

The well expressed & fact based criticism is likely to accepted by the subordinates. Here are some guidelines to offer constructive criticism.

Limit the criticism to one topic; Make sure that criticism is accurate; Define the problem clearly; Show how your criticism can benefit the

recipient;

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Continue….

Who delivers the criticism can be as important as the content of remarks. Following two guide lines will help you to in this area.

Choose the most credible critic- if a choice is available, make sure that the message comes from whoever can deliver it most effectively.

Make sure that criticism is appropriate to the critic’s role- even accurate criticism is likely to be unaccepted if you have no business delivering it.

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Continue….

The frame work in which your remarks are delivered can have an important impact on how they are received.

Deliver remarks in such a way that receiver know that your specific criticism doesn’t diminish your respect for the person in other areas.

Accept partial responsibility for the problem. Accompany your criticism with an offer to help.

By doing this you can earn goodwill of the other person.

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Continue….

How you express criticism can make a big difference in the way it is received.

Deliver criticism in a face saving manner- it is always better to criticize privately. Criticizing someone in front of others is likely to self invited resentment & embarrassment.

Avoid sounding judgmental- don’t call names or use inflammatory labels. Try to use descriptive ‘I’ language instead of defense arousing ‘You’ statements.

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RESPONDING NON DEFENSIVELY TO CRITICISM

Receiving criticism can be tougher than giving it. When people are faced with criticism, the two most common responses are ‘Fight’ & ‘Flight’.

Fighters react by counterattacking. “Its not my fault”. They might protest. Another fighting response is to ‘Blame Others’ : “ I am not the only one who is at fault here. I could have done better if I had gotten more support”.

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Continue….

Flight is second reaction to criticism. It is nothing but ignore criticism and keep quiet. However to keep quiet is not that much comfortable when you are being constantly attacked by unpleasant remarks.

When neither fighting nor fleeing is likely to satisfy your critics, you need alternatives which allow to listen nondefensively without losing face.

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RESPONDING NON DEFENSIVELY TO CRITICISM

Seek more information. Asking your critic to explain the problem gives you a constructive option of fighting of fleeing.

Ask for examples- “You have said I’m not having a good attitude to students. Can you describe exactly what I am doing”.

Guess about details of criticism- “Was it the way I sent back Miss Manasi’s term work because it was incomplete in nature

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Continue….

Paraphrase the critic- “When you say I have a bad attitude toward students, it sounds like you think I’m not giving them what they deserve”.

Ask what the critic wants- “How could I behave in a better way around my students?”

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Agree with criticism. This is another better way of dealing with criticism. Though it seem like a form of self punishment, it is extremely effective

Agree with the facts- “You are right. I have been late three times this week”. Remember agreeing with the facts doesn’t mean that you accepting responsibility for every imaginable fault. In above case, you might point out that your lateness is a fluke in an otherwise spotless work record.

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Agree with critic’s perception- some times you can’t honestly agree with criticism. Notice that agreeing with the perception doesn’t require you to accept critic’s evaluation as accurate. What you are doing is acknowledging the other person’s right to view the issue in a way that may differ from yours

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HUMBLE ADVICE FOR STUDENTS

My advice to the college students is to expect a Lot of criticism on the job, both from people within your organization & from the public.

Don’t resent or tune out these attacks. If you listen to them carefully, you will be amazed by the benefits

Your critics will respect you more, & you will learn a tremendous amount of helpful information about yourself, your job, and human nature. JOHN POST MARKETING MANAGER FIDELITY INVESTMENTS.

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THANK YOUFOR

PATIENT LISTENING

Aman Mane