Dear Parents: Psychologists define love as helping

someone to grow. Aside from the unconditional affection you freely give your children, helping

their growth lies in understanding the world from their point of view. This letter about child devel-

opment will help you enjoy their progress and appreciate their individuality as they solve the challenges of growing up. Sincerely,

iE- j2i

-3

iL 597

Extension Service, Oregon State University, Corvallis, OF. Smith,

director. Produced and distributed in furtherance of the Acts of Congress of May 8 and June 30, 1914. Extension work is a coopera-

tive program of Oregon State University, the U.S. Department of Agriculture, and Oregon counties.

Oregon State University Extension Service orders educational programs, activities, and materials without regard to race, color,

national origin, sex, age, or disability as required by Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, Title IX of the Education Amendments of

1972, and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. Oregon State University Extension Service is an Equal Opportunity Employer.

EM 8256 .

Reprinted March 1991

oregon's JL Children N

Letters for parents of preschoolers: Letter 1

regon'sC 1 ren

Oregon State University Extension Service

Fascinating Preschoolers

Children develop while following a distinctivepattern that flows from one stage to another.

Within each stage, children adopt new and inde-pendent actions leaving behind some dependenciesof babyhood.

Children vary in the ages at which they reachand leave each stage. They progress according totheir own internal timetable in intellectual, social,physical, and emotional steps. Skills that comeeasily and early to one child may be difficult andcome later for another child.

While each child is distinctive, they are alike inmany ways. Years of observing young childrenhave produced information that helps parents knowchildren are going to experience times when thingsgo smoothly and times that are quite discourag-ing. Growth and change is a struggle for childrenand parents.

Preschool children are still basically self-centered.Their gradual growth in skills and social interest inothers is developing through the first seven or eightyears of life. Play is their natural way of learning.They use all of their senses to actively explore,imitate, and experiment with people, things, andbehavior.

Three..YearOlds

You'll discover three-year-olds are a calm, co-operative relief after coping with two-year-olds.Around the third birthday, activity is more bal-anced and smooth. But by 3½ children again turnnon-conformist and become very strong-willed. Astrong inner drive prompts their occupation withgaining a sense of control of who they are andwhat they can do and direct. It is appropriate thatthey make some decisions for themselves, but yourpatience and understanding will be challenged asyou help them understand the necessity for familyroutines and rules.

Fascinating Preschoolersd Letter 1

Physically, three-year-olds have increased run-ning, jumping, and climbing skills. Improved mus-cular control allows them to balance on narrowsurfaces, use alternate feet for going up and downstairs, and manage small objects like buttons, snaps,and zippers. Some become picky eaters and allopenly assert their likes and dislikes in food. Par-ents worry about decreased appetites but three-year-olds usually need less Iood as their growth rateslows.

Socially, three-year-olds are becoming more con-scious of other people. They want to be with otherchildren and show an increased desire to pleaseothers most of the time. You'll enjoy their willing-ness to cooperate with you. While playing withothers has growing importance, three-year-olds havemuch to learn about cooperative play. They arebeginning to share but still push, shove, or hit toget what they want. Their social problems stemfrom their natural self-centeredness and desire tocall attention to themselves. "Look at me! I can ridethe trike better than Billy!" is a bid for superiority.Help them feel good about themselves and reducecompetitiveness with simple responses like, "Youare a real whiz when it comes to riding a trike."

The third year is characterized by emotionalextremes and some negativism. While children atthis age are not as rigid or inflexible as they were ayear ago, they can be very demanding and losecontrol from time to time.

Three-year-olds rapidly progress intellectually.Experimenting with vocabulary building means theypay more attention to words and how to makesentences. Have their hearing checked to insurethat words are heard and spoken correctly. Theyenjoy chatting with adults and asking many ques-tions to satisfy their curiosity. Keep your answerssimple - preschoolers aren't concerned about sci-entific explanations.

Three-year-olds are learning to connect ideasand objects. Numbers and counting, naming ob-jects, colors, different shapes, animals, and peopleare now firmly learned. They like sorting objects

(OREGON STATE UNIVERSITY

4)EXTENSION SERVICE

according to size, shape, and color. When you lookat magazines or books, point out houses, barns,nests, or stores. They like to look for happy orangry people, funny people or animals, dads, moms,babies, or boys and girls.

Play is the main occupation of three-year-olds.They have no preference whether it's with boysor girls. They are attracted to water, sand, orgarden soil. A three-year-old enjoys building blocks,climbing, throwing, puzzles, musical activity, andstory telling.

Three-year-olds carefully observe activities inthe home and on television. Imitation is the sourceof active pretending during play. They spend weeksas Superman or Strawberry Shortcake. Grown-uptasks are part of play, too, so capitalize on theirwillingness to help with doing dishes, making beds,folding clothes, cooking, and sweeping the floor.

Four.Year-OIds

Exuberant and adventurous describes four-year-olds. They love excitement and anything new.Their creative imagination leans toward inventingmore things to do, but their interest span tends tobe short.

At four, physical control and energy has in-creased considerably. They like outdoor play thatinvolves rough and tumble games, as well as run-ning, jumping, hopping, skipping, and climbing.They rarely admit they're tired. Since they nowthink they're too old for naps, plan for daily quiettime. Tantrums, silliness, or aggressiveness usuallyare signs of fatigue.

At this age, children require companionship.They feel badly if they are isolated from the playgroup. Peers have become so important childrenmay defy their parents in order to please playmates.Four-year-olds can play simple games in groups,but the games may end suddenly. It happens be-cause each child wants to make the rules anddecisions without regard for anyone else. In gener-al, this is the year when taking turns and sharinggets better.

Children this age still turn to parents to solvemost of their problems but they are torn betweenparent and peer influences. They discover subtleways to resist you rather than flatly saying, "No."

Although four-year-olds have learned to handlean amazing number of emotional upheavals, manyhave wide mood swings. They may be pleasant onemoment, in a rage the next. This calls for bothfirmness and freedom on your part. Many parentsfind that giving a "time out" period teaches chil-

dren their unpleasant moods are not going todisrupt the family. Take children gently to theirroom saying, "It seems you need time out. Whenyou feel better come back and play where we are."Emphasize that they can come out when they feelbetter rather than setting a time limit on their stay.Many spats between playmates can be resolved bythe children without parental interference. How-ever, be on guard against uncontrollable fightingor use of objects that could harm either child.

Four-year-olds continue the rapid intellectualgrowth characteristic of preschoolers. With a longerattention span they spend more time engaged inactivities of interest. They expand their languageskills by attempting new, big words. They make uprhymes and words of their own like,"smerfy, werfy,derfy" which bring on gales of laughter and moreimprobable words. They also discover swear wordsand "potty talk." It's best to ignore undesirablewords as much as possible. Make it a habit topraise words you want to hear like "please" and"thank you," or offers of help.

The play of four-year-old's reflects imaginationand love of pretending. Small-scale wood workingtools or household equipment particularly fasci-nate them. Climbing, swinging, sliding, and ridinga trike are favorite outdoor activities. Indoors theycan spend a lot of time with creative materials:paper, scissors and paint, books, musical instru-ments, and building blocks.

Encourage their interest in books by helpingthem write their own. After a trip to the zoo, abirthday party, or any event, help them cut andpaste pictures into a booklet of 4 or 5 pages. Undereach picture print words your child chooses torepresent the picture. Children are proud of booksthey write, often reading them again and again.

Five-Year-Olds

Five-year-olds are generally happy people whofind themselves satisfying. They find life appealingas they bubble with affection and cooperation. Butas with previous pleasant stages the mood changesat about age 5½ when a fresh set of strong demandsand emotional upheavals affect their behavior. Theyseem to want too much, try things that are toodifficult, and make new claims on the center ofattention. Children approaching six feel pressuredby themselves and others to act more grown-upthan they really are

During the fifth year, well-developed motor skillsallow children to perform more complicated taskslike riding a two-wheel bike. Better eye-hand coor-

dination lets them lace and tie shoes and handle aknife and fork more easily. They can use paint,scissors, pencils, or other art materials construc-tively. They now show right or left hand preference.

Initiative, or planning and organizing, is char-acteristic of this age. Their plans and routines inthe bathroom may not be familiar to you, but themain thing is they have something in mind forgetting the job done. Efficiency comes a bit later.

Five-year-olds reach a new level of cooperationin play with others. Most of them are happy, suc-cessful group participants. They want to be in oneverything others do. But they are not ready forcompetitive games and are very discouraged bylosing. Play for preschoolers is different than it isfor adults. It's a child's beginning stages of think-ing, planning, and organizing. These are also theyears of their peak imaginationthe rules for playare always their own.

Socially, five-year-olds have made great prog-ress in learning what is "right" to say and do. Theyare more sympathetic toward others and usually incontrol of their emotions. They enjoy their inde-pendence and like to be given responsibility forrunning simple errands or taking a message to aneighbor.

Although fives can distinquish between what istrue and false, they may exaggerate or tell "talltales." Preschoolers deal with a shakey sense ofreality and many unknowns. Was it real or wasn'tit? Is it mine or isn't it?

Honesty is learned gradually. It begins to takeshape in a child's thinking during this year. Fami-lies communicate the value of truth or not takingother's things with and without words. Lies may beimaginative tales, failure to understand your ques-tions, or given in anticipation of punishment. Tak-ing things is part of learning to distinquish what istheirs and what belongs to others. Even knowingthat something belongs to someone else does notwipe out a desire to have it. This is not stealing.Accept their lying or taking things as mistakes.

Five-year-olds can understand reasons for be-havior. Without being preachy or making them feellike criminals, help them return articles to theirowners and praise their honesty. They soon get theidea that certain things belong to others. Makesure they have their own treasures too.

Five-year-olds talk a lot! They are very curiousand constantly ask how, what, when, and where.They have many stories to tell that flow morelogically now. They'll sit for a chat or enjoy talkingon the telephone. Their interest in exploring wordsis rapidly expanding. They ask, "What does thissay?" It's time-consuming for you, but learningwords is a powerful accomplishment for fives.

Clocks and telling time become a new source ofinterest. They have little concept of next week ornext month, but, when the clock hands are straightup and down, it's time for dinner.

Children of this age are interested in everythingfrom the smallest leaf to the biggest machinery.Satisfy this yearning to see and touch things inyour surroundingsa walk in the woods, a trip to afarm, or watch street construction. Collect andsave objects from their excursions for stories andbooks.

Practice Safety

Although preschoolers have become increasinglyindependent they still need your constant protec-tion from injury. Even though they are resourceful,their natural curiosity threatens their safety. Youcan prevent most accidents if you control or elimi-nate hazards.

Teach children about safety rules and theirneed to be cautious around playground equipment,automobiles, high places, or water. Be careful notto over-emphasize caution so your child fears nor-mal play and exploration. Sparingly use warningsand explain why they must be cautious.

Preschoolers are not yet predictable enough foryou to assume they won't experiment with match-es, household cleaners, or medicines. Garages filledwith garden supplies and tools are fascinating foryoung explorers.

Motor vehicle accidents are the leading cause ofdeath and injury for children. The best way toprotect children under five during sudden braking,swerving, or a crash is to use a child restraintsystem. Five-year-olds are safest in the back seatwith the lap seat belt fastened across their hips andshoulder strap attached behind them.

It's always a problem to keep children orderlyduring long auto trips or even when car poolingfrom day care. Provide children with activities topass the time. Most importantly, make it clear thatdrivers can't drive standing up and children can'tride standing up. If yuu fail to gain their coopera-tion, stop the car until they sit and buckle. Youmay have to make several stops before they realizeyou mean what you say. Most accidents happenless than 25 miles from home at speeds of less than30 mph.

Prepared by Shelley Lindauer, graduate assistant, and MarcelleStraatman, Extension human development specialist, Schoolof Home Economics.

Dear Parents: Psychologists define love as helping

someone to grow. Aside from the unconditional affection you freely give your children, helping

their growth lies in understanding the world from their point of view. This letter about child devel-

opment will help you enjoy their progress and appreciate their individuality as they solve the challenges of growing up. Sincerely,

.)2_cjq

So7 -3

5T3'7

Extension Service, Oregon State University, Corvallis, O.E. Smith, director. Produced and distributed in furtherance of the Acts of

Congress of May 8 and June 30, 1914. Extension work is a coopera- tive program of Oregon State University, the U.S. Department of

Agriculture, and Oregon counties.

Oregon State University Extension Service orders educational programs, activities, and materials without regard to race, color,

national origin, sex, age, or disability as required by Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972, and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. Oregon State

University Extension Service is an Equal Opportunity Employer.

EM 8256 Reprinted March 1991

oregon's JL Children K

Letters for parents of preschoolers: Letter 1