joyce shafer, you are more

8/14/2019 Joyce Shafer, You Are More

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You Are More! Joyce ShaferThe opinions expressed in any articles in this publication are those of the individual authors and may not necessarily by shared by thepublishers of No Limits .Any nancia l or health advice given in No Limits may not be ri ght for your particular case and you should seek your own professionopinion before acting on said advice.Copyright Th e publishe r, authors and contributors reserve full copyright of their work as featured in No Limits magazine.No part of this pu blication m ay be copied or otherwise reproduced in any form or by any means without the written permission of thepublisher. No Limits magazine is protected by trademark.

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No Limits EXTRAis published by No Limits For Me

CONTENTS

Your Gr eatness is UniqueIs Mainstream t he Wrong Stream for You?The Challenge of Proof of vs. Faith in Infinite AbundanceHow do You Grade Your Worth and Self-Worth?Be True to You at Your Crossroads PointDo You Practice Self-Help Or Shelf-Help?How Do You Listen to Yourself?Enough About Money Lack Already!Does Gender Influence Prosperity?Boldness is Its Own Reward5 Foundation Points of Self MasteryWhen You Are Ready For Your True WealthNot Your Ordinary Sand CastleAre You Thinking or Processing?Do These Time Wasters Affect Your Life?

Set Them FreeHow to Be the Experience You Wish to HaveMans Economy vs. Spirits Economy

Joyce Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach and Author in New York City.Visit her website Follow h er at http://youaremoreempowermentc oach.blogspot.com/ and http://www.fac ebook.com/joyceshafer
http://www.facebook.com/joyceshaferhttp://www.facebook.com/joyceshaferhttp://www.facebook.com/joyceshaferhttp://youaremoreempowermentcoach.blogspot.com/http://youaremoreempowermentcoach.webs.com/http://youaremoreempowermentcoach.webs.com/http://www.facebook.com/joyceshaferhttp://youaremoreempowermentcoach.blogspot.com/http://www.facebook.com/joyceshaferhttp://www.facebook.com/joyceshaferhttp://youaremoreempowermentcoach.blogspot.com/http://www.facebook.com/joyceshaferhttp://www.facebook.com/joyceshaferhttp://youaremoreempowermentcoach.blogspot.com/http://youaremoreempowermentcoach.blogspot.com/http://youaremoreempowermentcoach.webs.com/http://youaremoreempowermentcoach.webs.com/http://www.nolimitsforme.com/http://www.nolimitsforme.com/


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Your Greatness is Unique

Your greatness is unique and reveals itself at the right time. You might aswell be excellent until you're great. But first, understand what this means.What your greatness is will be unique, so it's a waste of time and energyto compare yourself to others. What your greatness is may appear small;but to those it matters to (especially you), it's anything but small or insignificant. Are the entertaining books of an author such as JanetEvanovich less great than the work of a heart surgeon? No; just different.I can tell you that the many episodes of toes-up laughter I experiencedwhen I read her novel, "Plum Lovin'," did my heart, mind, and moodtremendous benefit. I'm grateful she discovered and lives her greatnessin a way that lets me benefit from it.Do you have a green thumb that produces fruits, vegetables, or flowersthat nurture others in a meaningful way for them? Do you have a gift for encouraging young children's minds and self-esteem? Are you afrustrated Thomas Edison type? A great quote of his is, "I had to succeed

because I finally ran out of things that wouldn't work." That's passionatecommitment! One thing is certain: Whatever greatness is, it always leadsby example. There are numerous levels of examples, including thesimple art of how to enjoy life (which so many struggle with) even if younever perform a heart transplant or write a best-seller.Maybe you haven't identified what you're great at yet. It's the thing youlove most to do or feel most alive or fulfilled when you do it, no matter what form it takes in the world. And as with anything, you start at thebeginning and expand, enhance, develop, and grow into your greatness.You don't start at the end result.

Greatness, though, is not only about what you do, it's about who you areat your core of being. Do you seek to learn about and understandyourself and others? Do you deliberately nurture self-love and, therefore,love of others? Are you kind, compassionate, empathetic, friendly, of service in ways appropriate for you? Are you self-assessing and self-adjusting?Until you get clear or in alignment with your inner and outer greatness,be excellent; and please, avoid perfectionism (I have never met an easy-going perfectionist). Release the definition of excellence used by others

and aim for your personal best. Your personal best will be different fromday to day. But you can ask yourself, "What would my best look like rightnow?" and "Do I feel I did the best I could at the time?"Greatness appears early for some and later in life for others. There areindividuals who amass experiences or overcome challenges until the dayarrives when they are clear about what their greatness is: that which theyhave head-and-heart alignment about and a passionate commitment for.

If you feel you're not living your greatness at this time, ask: Am I buildingmy skills so that I'll be ready when it's time? Do I know what I really wantto do but hesitate because of what others might think? Am I waiting untilit's too painful not to do it?Until you know what your greatness is, or choose it, explore whatexcellence means for you. You won't be bored.


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Is Mainstream the Wrong Stream for You?

For many, mainstream is like a tailored suit; for some, it's like astraightjacket. Are you swimming in the wrong stream or against thecurrent?Mainstream, in this writing, means demonstrating via your life, work,relationships, etc., an "acceptable" model or role model, as much as

possible-a model that is allowed some leeway as long as it's a compositeof descriptions provided by the various prevalent social, religious, andeducational systems and models, as well as family and culturaldescriptions or models.Stated simply, what you do and how you do it appeases the tribe andsub-tribes-which allows you to feel safe-considered worthy of inclusionby the tribe. It means you're more likely to receive rewards of approvaland compensation.Be clear, please: there's nothing "wrong" with mainstream. It has itspurpose. Mainstream provides a level of order so society's"mechanisms" work more often than not. It's a perfect fit for many. And,mainstream and non-mainstream each have their positive/negativeaspects.Mainstream swimming is only problematic if you've always known itwasn't the right stream for you. You might try to swim in it, but it's like anobstacle course rather than a fulfilling journey or adventure. Swimmingwith a "fin" in each stream may be a better fit for you.Why is this important?If you're a more non-mainstream type, you may still be trying to fit in, so

you do what the tribe and sub-tribes say you should in order to receivethe rewards of approval, compensation, and the feeling you are safe.Feeling safe underlies your motivations. And, even if you have someperiods of serenity or happiness and rewards, they're temporary and/or not as fulfilling as you desire.If you are contemplating the leap into a stream that fits-or if you've madethe leap-unless you've dealt with your fears and contrasts about beingcomfortably mainstream vs. fits better in a different stream, you'llexperience contrasts in your life, some of them huge. And, you may not

understand why they show up-repeatedly. You may even think it'sbecause you're not worthy, not really unique, actually mainstream and

just fooling yourself (or lazy, as some mainstreamers may have told you).This has huge implications if you're a person who knows you have to bean entrepreneur so you can follow your passion(s) as this relates to theservices or products (solutions) you feel compelled to share with others(but apply this to any area of your life). How might this impact you?You may withhold rewards from yourself-because you're running aprogram that says being different deserves a penalty.Consider this: if you're non-mainstream and have experienced less-than-ideal rewards or fulfillment while "playing" in mainstream land . . .1) It needed to be this way so you could discover you're better suited toa different stream, one that allows you to be yourself-or you need tocreate a way to merge the two.2) You may have been penalized because you didn't fit the mainstreammodel. This could include comments from anyone that states disapprovalof you because you aren't making a "real effort" to fit the model someone

wants you to fit. (Some of those people who disapproved are actuallynon-mainstreamers too afraid to leave that stream-sort of a "misery lovescompany" affect.)What's interesting about the second one above is that if you receiveddisapproval for being non-mainstream (maybe even told you were asource of humiliation), it more than likely started when you were a child.AND, if your life isn't fulfilling now, it's more than likely you've continuedto punish yourself, deny yourself rewards, disapprove of or criticizeyourself-even into adulthood.Ahh . . . the great quandary: you are a unique individual and you foundyourself in a playground where being too unique and not homogenousenough was not appreciated by the majority of your play mates. By theway, you can find or create your ideal playground.All this is interesting, but what are you supposed to do-that's thequestion, yes?I offer three approaches to those of you who have decided you're readyto be Uniquely You, as we're not all playing the same game.Life: I'm okay, you're okay; and I can choose to let go of what others


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think and be my authentic self, from a place of personal integrity. And,I'm so focused on creating the life I choose, I don't direct my energytowards criticizing others.Law of Attraction: I match my vibrations to my ideal expression of self inevery area of my life, and attract ideal people, events, and resources intomy life.Quantum: I'm an infinite being (creative consciousness) having a humanexperience, which means I decided to see what it's like to feel theopposite-limited-until I decide to wake from this lucid dream and playdifferently. To do this, I created a playground with play mates who readthe lines I gave/give them. I create (d) everything in this lucid dream Ichose/choose to make sure I have this experience. I understand the truepower is not in the scenery, not in the actors, not in the words, not in anymaterial thing-not in the dream-but comes from me. I install the patternsinto the quantum field, and I can appreciate what a brilliant job I did/do of making it feel real. As it feels appropriate, I reclaim energy from patternsI created, as they get my attention, and play differently.The crux of this is, it's more than likely your life experience isn't what youdesire if you're punishing yourself (withholding rewards: approval,appreciation, monetary, success, etc.) for being You.Next time you aim at a target or goal and start to create the strategiesand action steps to achieve or attain an outcome, check in with yourself to see if you're ready to receive the desired outcome or if a belief thatyou don't deserve it is rumbling around at a deep level. Use theapproach, out of the three offered above, that resonates most for you tomove this forward.


6/26

The Challenge of Proof of vs. Faith in Infinite Abundance

If you're not experiencing infinite abundance, there's a good reason it'snot your "reality" yet. The reason relates to a riddle.The challenge is like the riddle: which came first, the chicken or the egg?In this case it's which comes first, measurable proof that you're infinitelyabundant or faith that it's your natural state? The answer for both riddlesis the same: the thought or idea of it comes first.We entangle ourselves with a "chicken and egg" cycle about infiniteabundance. This is because we are so practiced at believing what we"see" that our ability to have True faith in our infinite abundance isaffected by an underlying feeling, thought, belief of, "I'm not entirely suremy infinite abundance is real. As soon as I see proof of it, then I'll believeit. Then, I'll be able to feel it."One of the biggest obstacles involved is our strong emotional attachmentto believing we must have an "acceptable" level of accumulation,verifiable numbers, and certain things or assets to prove to others thatour success, value, and worth is measurable or measures up. Thisapproach is reliant upon the opinions of others, not in faith that your infinite abundance is real, which is always an inner experience first.We feed the need for proof with our thoughts. Often these thoughtsinvolve repetition of mental scenes we replay in our minds of how our lifelooks and feels in its limited form. Less imagery goes to seeing (andfeeling) it as worthy of true appreciation and filled with potential andopportunities. Which of these do you "feed" most often? How youexperience (feel about) your "reality" (aside from what it looks like)supports whatever you believe.

Money and things never cause you to feel what it is you really want tofeel-one with your infinite abundance and creative consciousness.However, the more you connect to feeling one with these, the more lifetakes on what you might call a magical feel to it; and money, people,opportunities, and things show up as ways to enhance your enjoyment of your human experience. As Shakespeare wrote, "The play's the thing."Physicist James A. Wheeler said, "There's no out there out there'." Themajority of us haven't integrated this fact into our experience as yet; butwhat this means is it's an illusion that money and things come to us from

"reality"-what we call the physical plane, which is actually a virtual realitythat responds to what we imagine into it. Ernest Holmes wrote, "Nothingmoves but mind."Whether you've followed a gut feeling, intuition, Law of Attractiontechnique, or any other tool or technique, the "smallest" example of having a desired outcome appear in your life demonstrates your infiniteabundance and infinite creative consciousness (which are one in thesame). Because of our attachment described four paragraphs above,unless an outcome is "significant" in the opinion of others then in our own, we continue to doubt it's True-despite the evidence. In the Infiniterealm, size is irrelevant. Only in our limited perspective in the humangame, does size have meaning. Every creation is a profoundly brilliantone because, "There's no out there out there'."Every technique you use is a way to help you aim at the target: faith inand of the Truth. But it's never the technique that has the power; it's you-as an infinite being having a human experience. "Nothing moves butmind."No technique will actually shift you from the limiting beliefs that requireproof in your physical experience so that you can have faith; though atechnique can lead you to right questions that will assist this. An inner shift has to happen within you. What will help you get there is to let thisinformation incubate inside you, and allow right questions to come to youas you contemplate what this really means to you-until you feel the shiftbegin to happen.You might intellectualize your way into and through this process, if youchoose to take it on, but eventually it will be the feeling of the Truth of itthat begins to make a difference in how you experience every moment.You might apply this to money first, as it has such a strong emotionalcharge, but also relate this information to everything in your humanexperience.These are deeper questions than you might at first imagine, butWhat would have to happen in you for you to feel and know your infiniteabundance is real prior to "external" proof?How would your thoughts and feelings change or need to?What is infinite abundance? Is it money and stuff, or is it a way of being?


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How do You Grade Your Worth and Self-Worth?

Have you ever thought about how the way we're taught to measureworth and self-worth is similar to how we got tests graded in school?There is an interesting parallel.The school grades you received for tests measured, in a limited fashion:how well you took tests (often designed to be tricky), memorized,

understood (or liked, from your side of things) what you were tested on,and-though more from your perspective than the system's-whether or notyou believed you'd have a use for the information now or in the future(felt it was applicable to your life experience or goal).Whatever was being evaluated, your ability to conform was included,even though this measurement was subtle. There was little allowance or reward for thinking or performing "outside the box." Play by the rules tobe rewarded; failure to follow or conform received a penalty. ("Outsidethe box" is where inventions, innovations, and masterpieces live.)What school grades didn't measure was the truth of your uniqueintelligence and how you express it, emotional intelligence, commonsense, creativity, humor, self-learning or self-adjusting abilities-and theynever, ever measured your worth (as a contributing member to life) or self-worth (priceless, as you're one of a kind).When you consider what wasn't measured, you can see the system wasset up in a way that required you to adhere to limited and restrictedcriteria (rules of the game) in order to meet specific (limited andrestricted) outcomes. It was never about who you really are, what youcan do or flourish at or contribute, or your potential to expand at the inner and outer levels, as a unique individual.

Also, remember how obvious the restriction of high school seemed onceyou graduated, especially if you went to college and could schedule theclasses you really wanted and at the times you preferred? You couldchew gum, get rewarded for creativity (usually), and do lots of other things you couldn't or didn't do in that more circumscribed environment.There's a similar system in place when it comes to worth and self-worth,especially in regard to money. Adhering to the system is what mucks withmost people and holds them back from playing a better game, the one

where their worth and self-worth is a given, no matter what.You're taught that the number in your bank account or on your assetssheet is real and measures a particular "something" about your worthand self-worth. But, it doesn't. It only measures how well you play thatparticular game; how well you conform. You're taught you have to workcertain ways, usually for an hourly or salaried wage; work an"acceptable" number of hours; and so on. Yet, we know people who dothis differently and have fun and prosper. How do they get away withthis?They play a different game-because they don't allow others to measuretheir true value.Let's presume you're a spiritual- or metaphysical-minded person. Maybeyou're a Law of Attraction advocate (not necessary). If the number inyour bank account is lower than you'd like, does that number reflect theTruth of You or does it reflect your belief in how your worth and self-worthis measured or should be-because others who adhere to "the game" toldyou it was so?

If you believe the latter half of the last sentence above, how does thisinfluence or impact your ability to believe in yourself? What does belief inself have to do with success (the way you define it for you) or your abilityto have a fulfilling life?Look at biographies of some who've made a name for themselves inhistory. You'll see there are those whose school test scores measuredthem as average or below average. It's a good thing they didn't allow thisto stop them.There's a chance that, if you're not doing as well as you'd like, youprobably adhere to "outside" measurement standards that don't serve

you. Whatever your life (or bank account) looks like now is a reflection of your trying to play by rules that don't fit you, especially if you knowthere's more to "reality" than what you see. Two opposing thoughts/beliefs existing at the same moment, in the same space, cancel eachother out.Maybe it's time you create your own game with its own rules-a game youwin. One of the biggest wins you can have is to know your worth andself-worth, no matter the opinions of or rules set by others.


8/26

Be True to You at Your Crossroads Point

You may turn to family or friends for their thoughts and ideas. This is onetactic if you're looking to brainstorm for ideas, methods, and techniquesto consider. Some who are well-meaning may say, "Let me tell you whatyou ought to do," or they use the dreaded word "should." When thishappens, nod politely, but stay true to yourself.

Crossroads are opportunities to aim at the target(s) that help you createyour desired reality, even if it's just to do something different and youaren't quite sure what yet. That happens. Such times may cause anxiety;but that's usually because somewhere at the back of your mind or deepin your heart, you wonder, "Can I or should I really go for it?"If you have a dream and you share it with others, you risk hearingopinions that fall anywhere on the gradient between highly useful and notat all useful, depending on who you speak with. Nor can you let anythinganyone says from their own perspective (and fears) cause you toquestion your worth or the worth of your dream or goal. Not everyone will

feel excited about or share your enthusiasm, because it's your dream,after all, not theirs. Sometimes you have to amp up the power of your dream by staying silent about it until the right moment. And, you want toput your energy into taking action, not talking about taking action.One fear you may have is of (pardon the repetitions) coloring outside thelines or thinking and acting outside the box. But what if your unique wayof doing something, or the way you'd like to but hesitate about, is exactlywhat some are waiting for?Here are some questions to ask when you're at a crossroads (answer them in order, and don't limit your answers with logic-be honest withyourself): Who would you really like to interact with? This could be clients,customers, readers, team players, group members, etc; but who wouldyour favorite "playmates" be? Why them? What about them or their lives will be different as a result of engagingwith you? What are the ways you might do this with or for them? Which of theseways really jazz you? Which one could you begin to develop and moveforward on now?

You cannot live your life trying to mold yourself to opinions or expectations of others. They may be happy if you do, but you'll bemiserable. A dialogue line in a movie called "The Movie Hero" is, "...youcan either die trying or die wishing you had." Of course, you can succeedwhile you live. It's also a success to go for your dream, whatever theoutcome. Better to say, "I gave it all I had (and enjoyed every second),"than, "I never gave myself the chance."It's best to ignore anyone who believes you can't get there from here.There's always a way whether it's a metaphorical jet, boat, car, or your feet. If you have a dream, don't just wish it, intend it. Commit, be flexible,and stay true to yourself.


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Do You Practice Self-Help Or Shelf-Help?

We all have things in our lives we move forward on with no problem,others we drag our feet about, and those we hesitate to or never take thefirst step towards. It's beneficial not to judge our process, but assess itand our outcomes often; it is imperative we participate in it willingly.I spoke with a man who doesn't like his job (six-figure income) or his life.

For him, surface stuff has changed over the last several years, but notmuch else. In fact, he said he felt his best option was to keep doing whathe does every day and wait for death. He's two years younger than I am.Imagine shelving all other options, at any age, especially those that bring

joy and fulfillment, and choosing the one he says he has.He mentioned he frequents a large bookstore near his apartment. I didn'task him what types of books he buys, but I know what kind he doesn't:books about career guidance, guides to discover what he really enjoysand is good at, or any involving self-empowerment or metaphysics.Every day, he expects the "same old, same old" (which he "receives"),and to feel better based on outer events only. It isn't that he buys booksthat can help him, but puts them on the shelf; he's put himself and hispossibilities on the shelf.It isn't always comfortable to accept that if you don't like something aboutyour outer life, you must look at your inner life-the stories you repeat toyourself and so on. Neville Goddard said, "Assumptions harden intofacts." Often, you have to take a chisel to such "facts;" and getting towhat's underneath can take time. The time matter gets in the way for many.Then, there's the really tricky part: intellectualizing something means youknow it; actualizing something involves being it. That's not always aneasy path to travel, because at some point you not only have a "foot inboth worlds," but also your consciousness. You have to engage with thetribe, though you don't share the tribal mentality. And, you have to find away to reconcile this into your experience.When you really want to improve something, you have to keep going.You have to go at it until you reach the point where you're ready toexpand even more. If you feel challenged, it's important to accept this as

part of the process. Many old beliefs and assumptions beg to bechallenged. They "ripen" over time so you'll pluck them from the tree of your life and turn them into something sweeter.The biggest challenge seems to be patience. We want a quick fix.Sometimes that's feasible, sometimes it isn't. Anything worth having isworth what it takes to achieve or attain it, particularly when it comes tocreating the life experiences you wish. Defining your authentic self, if it'sbeen hidden under layers for a lifetime, takes time, diligence, and a"chisel" called passionate commitment.You can flow with a book or program then find parts of it don't do it for you or don't fit. You're able to discern what's right for you. You knowwhen a book or service resonates with you. If you completely agree withthe material, but it challenges you to your core, it's likely a process youshould go the distance with, no matter how long or what it takes.What can help you decide on a book, service, or path is your why: whyyou want what you say you do. If you find information you know willassist you but you feel challenged, allow your why to fuel your motivationto keep going.Take your potential off the shelf and open it into your life.


10/26

How Do You Listen to Yourself?

I had dinner with a friend I hadn't seen in a long while. As he told meabout things that were different, it was easy to hear that he and hisbeliefs were pretty much the same, which means his experiences haven'tchanged much. He still looks for solutions to his discontent about his lifeto come from outside himself.

My mantra is, "To find the right answer, seek the right question." As wespoke, I mentioned this to him."I ask questions," he responded."Yes, but you don't stop talking to yourself long enough to 'hear' ananswer," I replied.He does what many of us do to different degrees: he mulls over what hedoesn't like about his life repeatedly. Little attention goes to possiblesolutions. And, little attention goes towards shifting beliefs at the inner level to attract or affect a shift at the outer level.Patience is a factor. How often have you felt unhappy, discontent, or something even stronger about a situation or aspect of your life? Whendid you want it to shift? Yesterday, right? If you do ask for an answer, or even for the right question, you want it now. However, the quicker youget out of the way, the quicker you get an answer.What you need comes to you more easily if you ask, expect, and let goof those tricksters Who, What, How, When, and Where. It isn't that youhave to still your mind, you can think about other things; but you can'tdwell on what you want to shift. Why?Opposing thoughts cannot occupy the same space.

Here's a real secret: As long as you judge something or believe it needsto be fixed or changed, you, in effect, glue it down as your experience.This isn't just an aspect of Law of Attraction it's physical. Every time youreplay thoughts and patterns in your mind, you create pathways or ruts, if you will, in your brain. This pathway becomes the path of least resistancewhenever you're triggered. You can become so entrenched in behavior patterns, you don't even consider that there's another way to think, feel,or act. Nor, that you can choose to do these differently. Create a pathwaythat allows for shift to happen.

My friend went on to tell me about certain things he'd like to change, butthat guilt feelings stop him from moving forward. Then, he began to

justify why he shouldn't feel guilty about making these changes. Isuggested that he look for the right question(s) to ask about the guilt. If he explores and discovers the root cause of this feeling, I'm certainsolutions based in head-and-heart alignment will come to him. As long asguilt or fear of feeling guilt about taking care of his best interests is whatdrives him, desired outcomes and how he can attain them will continue

to elude him.If you've been seeking a solution or answer, take a day or three off fromchatting about it in your head or with others. Give it an appointment onyour calendar three days from now. If repetitious negative thoughts try tointrude, tell them they aren't scheduled for further consideration until-and, state the date.Also, don't let the other trickster in: telling yourself you're confused. Youmay not have a plan or strategy as yet, but most confused feelings arereally about resistance to doing what you know needs to be done. Thefirst step is to agree to allow a shift at the inner level. A good way to

discover what this will look like for you is to let go of resisting what is soyou can see possibilities. You don't have to like what is, but as the sayinggoes, "Whatever you resist, persists."When you seek an answer, ask for it; then, listen to the sound of silencewithin. Your inner voice is polite (and patient). If you're doing all thetalking, it won't interrupt.


11/26

Enough About Money Lack Already!

It was with the best intentions one of my newsletter subscribersforwarded an offer from one of the big names, in the event I wanted toinclude it in the next issue. I looked at the offer and felt it again, thatniggling feeling I get when such emails pop into my inbox: something isoff about this.

It isn't that there's anything wrong with the teacher/mentor/guru who'soffering it; he's remarkable, just as others of his ilk are. But for monthsnow, an inner-level twitch happens for me when I see theseadvertisements. There seems to be a flaw, like a coin where one side isthe approach being used and the other side being the motivation of thepotential users of the products and services offered.The flaw is embedded in the statement so often repeated: You get moreof what you focus on. This is usually attached to Law of Attractioninformation, but it also applies if you keep repeating/replaying the samethoughts, feelings, and actions. Albert Einstein said, "Insanity is doing the

same thing over and over again and expecting different results." It's notthat we're insane, but you get the point.If we in the self-help field are committed to assist others to self-empower,why is it so many of our emails continue to address lack? Well, if you'veever studied marketing or copywriting, you're told you "hook" people if you go right to what pains them most. Kudos to Mike Litman who sentout an email recently that asked individuals if they still had the 1988mindset about how to do business. He suggested a book that'ssupposed to encourage people to think and act as the author believeswill be necessary in 2010. I'm eager to read the book; and though Mikedidn't elaborate, I wonder if the new mindset discourages the old wayand encourages copywriters to address people's strengths or, at least,the ones they wish to enhance, but not from the "pain" perspective. Thetwitch I felt was from the fact the language used in the email ads remindsindividuals regularly that they feel they lack. Isn't this exactly what we'retelling people NOT to do, in order to move forward?People in the self-help industry (this includes me) get excited about their products and services, and there's good reason to offer them: we believethey can make a difference. But be honest with yourself: How many

books, programs, etc., have you gone through about, say, money (inner-and outer-level issues) in the last five or even ten years? Are you stilllooking for that One, the one that will Finally make a difference? Haveyou asked yourself why the shift you crave hasn't happened yet? As longas you focus on fixing what you perceive or believe you lack, you are stillinvesting your time and energy (and, yes, money) into the lack of it. Youmay appear to be or believe you're being pro-active; but you're turning incircles because your shoe is still nailed to the floor. Maybe it's time to

take your foot out of the shoe.It's not all on the people advertising, though. Individuals turning to thisinformation, as well as to information that promises a system that returnsmajor income practically overnight, are taking action out of fear rather than out of purpose. What causes this?They lack direction and strategy.There seems to be two basic mindsets in seekers: Some seekers desireone or more ways that bring in the big bucks through automated systemsthat require little of them; others believe if they can just discover their lifepurpose, everything will change. What both have in common is anunderstandable desire to ease and eliminate pain, pain they believestems from a negative financial situation. The negative financial situationis an inconvenient effect; the real pain is caused by something else.If you're a seeker in the first category, ask yourself if what worked for thevendor, what they offer, is something you feel passionate commitmentabout; is it something that is meaningful to you. What you really want is asimilar outcome and feeling, but as a result of doing somethingappropriate for you. You want to do something that addresses your Why:why do I feel strongly about doing this? If your only answer is, "So I canget rid of my pain about my money situation," that's not enough. You may

have discovered this particular motivation almost never works; or if itdoes, it doesn't have longevity. If you are drawn to wealth-buildingemails, do you have wealth to build or even to invest in this strategy andto maintain it? Are you drawn to these types of offers because they're funfor you? Does it make sense that this is the place for you to start?However, there is a difference in using these types of systems if they,and playing at increasing income from different revenue streams, isgenuinely fun for you. This latter one has no pain energy attached to it.The motivation is pain-free.


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If you're a seeker in the second category, do you believe there's One LifePurpose for you; and if you could just discover what it is, everythingwould change? This more often than not refers to the question, "Whatshould I be doing?" People not stuck in this place ask, "What would Ilove to do next?" It reminds me of how if you desire your dream house or car (or anything), it's not about having what you say you want, it's reallyabout having the feeling you want. Wouldn't it be ironic if your lifepurpose is to do what allows you to feel the way you desire, no matter

how many times you change or adjust what you do? To discover thefeelings you wish to feel, and explore what makes this happen?Here's a brief coaching exercise for you, if you fit into either group: Takeseveral moments to envision what you would like your ideal future to belike. You may imagine where you live, what your home looks like, andsuch other details. That will make this exercise more interesting; buteven more important, what are you doing in your life? How do you feelabout yourself in this ideal life? Now here's the question: If you removeany thoughts about what you believe limits you now, especially money,what's different "then" from "now?" What stops you from living an aspectof your imagined future starting now, even if you start at the inner level?This exercise is an entry into asking yourself right questions that helpyou pick a direction you feel a passionate commitment to follow at thistime. If you know where you want to go, you can start to figure out howto get there. You can also better recognize a "detour" when you see one.Ask yourself who you know yourself to be; what you love and enjoydoing that you're good at; what you feel has meaning for you; what itmight look like (no limits; allow your imagination to play); who you'd liketo do this with; how, where, and how often you wish to be engaged in thisway. If you knew where you wanted to go, had a strategy, and appliedyour energy to your strategy, where might you be in a month, six months,or a year?With a direction and a basic strategy in mind, you can begin to pick andchoose from emails in your inbox, which one(s) address a step in your strategy. It's helpful if you recognize that there likely isn't One PerfectGizmo that creates a total shift and eliminates all challenges from your life. A better goal is to learn how "reality" works so you can manage itmore than it manages you; and to realize this is a lifetime process.Follow your curiosity and sign up to receive emails, newsletters, audios,

videos, and downloads that appeal to you. Give them only enough timeand energy to determine if they address a step in your strategy; and yes,your strategy can certainly address your inner self, as well as your outer life simultaneously. If what's offered is ahead of what you are currentlyfocused on improving, save it in a folder for when the time is right. You'llrealize which emails provide what you truly need to reach your destination and which don't. Opt-out of the ones that don't serve you soyou don't clutter your inbox or your focus.

Are you beginning to perceive how having a direction provides astrategy; and how having a strategy keeps you focused and aimed atyour target? If your energy is going into something you love and ismeaningful and even fun for you, something you share with others, youcan leave behind confusion and illusion. You no longer seek to find TheWay that gets you into the game, you're in the game.


13/26

Does Gender Influence Prosperity?

Ellie Drake of BraveHeartWomen and Dr. Sugar Singleton hosted ateleconference that was as riveting as informative in its explanation of what they call the prosperity hormones of men and women. Moreinformation will be offered here, but one of the most obvious means tosee and feel this difference is to compare marketing pieces you receive

from men and from women. It's likely the "standard" masculine approachwill either state or imply that what's offered will crush the competition andexplode income. Lacking a better example, but perhaps using softer language, many women basically copy such an approach.Because of our neurochemistry, men and women will literally experiencethis type of marketing message in their bodies, but not in the same way.Many women read or hear this masculine approach, believe it's the"only" way to succeed (it works for men, after all), but don't like how itmakes them feel; and for good reason.The program hosts said what adversely affects women's prosperity

attraction quotient is that prosperity scripts have been written by men,which means they're not in harmony with the feminine. Therefore, suchscripts are distorted for women. This creates inconsistency in attractionof prosperity, fatigue, hopelessness, lack of self-confidence, interruptedbelief in the self and capabilities, and more.They listed four types of feminine prosperity seekers.1. Women who follow the masculine model. Some women manage thisbetter than others. However, the stress of doing this affects the body of any woman who follows this path, whether to a lesser or greater degree.2. Some women are more "softly" feminine; they lack boldness. Drake

said it's what Carolyn Myss calls the "shadow," meaning these womenexist mostly in spirit rather than with a balance between spirit and matter.An interesting aspect is they believe prosperity is one-sided, whichmeans they tend to balk when asked to pay (exchange) in order toreceive. (Perhaps this is because they feel so powerless in the absenceof a feminine prosperity model, which means they don't have theprosperity they desire; it's like a leak in their container they don't knowhow to fix, so they focus solely on refilling the container.)3. Some are confused because they know the masculine model is not for

them, but they lack a feminine model. They start and stop. They can'tfigure out how to tap into the right neurochemistry and neurophysiology,and this creates stress in all areas of their lives.4. These women have figured out how to operate their lives (andbusinesses) in ways appropriate for them and in harmony with their feminine energy. (Ellie Drake does this. So does Sharon Wilson, founder of Coaching From Spirit, who teaches spiritualpreneurs of both gendershow to create their own ideal marketing and business models.)

So, what are these hormones?Adrenaline is the masculine hormone. It's the fight-or-flight chemical; andthe hosts said men tend to choose "fight." This chemical helps menconquer whatever they're after or working against or for. It's the survival-of-the-fittest chemical. It drives and supports their efforts to compete.Men bond through competition, women don't. The repetitive rush of adrenaline in the body works for men, but not for women. In a woman'sbody, the repeated release of this hormone causes stress, exhaustion,illness, abdominal fat storage and hampers the body's overall ability tolose the weight it gains, as well as loss of focus, confidence, and sex

drive. It wears her out, burns her out, on all levels. (Note: a seriousadrenaline imbalance can create the same symptoms in a man's body.)This adrenaline model is the basis of the masculine prosperity script.Women who follow this script, sooner or later, find their neurochemistrypushed; and the result is the emergence of the "Bitch." The Bitchsurfaces because she's attempting to go against her nature (our bodiesphysically, outwardly reflect what's going on at the inner level). Bodychemistry gets out of balance; and the stressed-out, exhausted,frustrated woman becomes critical, judgmental, and often loudly vocal. Aman who behaves this way is considered by some to be one of the boys,

admired for knowing how to get what he wants; not so for a woman.The feminine prosperity hormone is oxytocin. This chemical inspires awoman's bonding mechanism with her partner (released during sex, andespecially orgasm), with her children (released during labor; causesuterine contractions), and during times when other forms of bondingoccur. It allows women to relax. It's known as the cuddle hormone.Women love how they feel when this chemical flows through their bodies, men love the adrenaline rush. Oxytocin is released in a man'sbody, but testosterone negates it to a great degree in men. Adrenaline is


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an estrogen antagonist for women and blocks the release of oxytocin.When adrenaline is released in a woman's body, she doesn't feel good;when released in a man's body, he feels enlivened.The hosts explained that a woman who attempts to express herself usingthe masculine adrenaline-based model finds her maternal and bondingabilities hampered. A woman wants to give birth to her purpose, to "nest"it, and to bond through like-mindedness so that a cooperative communityis created. Oxytocin supports a woman's innate maternal courage to stay

consistent about what's needed to help her baby, or her vision, grow. Awoman whose oxytocin release is blocked struggles to create what shedesires. Her consistency slips away; she feels unable to see thingsthrough.There is no pill or injection that can address this. Just as learning createspathways in the brain, it isn't just the chemical release of oxytocin thatsupports a woman wholly, but the physiological connections andpathways created by the holistic process. This chemical relationship is sosensitive that even the use of masculine affirmations, rather thanfeminine, can hamper a woman.

Women who want to know more can do so if they becomeBraveHeartWomen core members.Whether you're a man or woman reading this, give this informationconsideration. Look at the areas of your life and ask yourself how thisapplies to you and your personal and professional relationships.Whatever your gender, what one thing can you do differently, startingtoday?


15/26

Boldness is Its Own Reward

The dictionary offers several meanings for the word bold, not all of themnice. One of its definitions is fearless. There's a difference betweenboldness and courage: courage means taking action even if you'refearful.I think it's a mistake to believe you have to be either bold or courageous

one hundred percent of the time, in the sense most people think of them.Do you know anyone who's like that? Are you absolutely certain it's allthe time?Frankly, I think I'm courageous more often than bold. I know people whoare typically bold and I'm not like them. These people tend to saywhatever they think more often than not; and they don't usually pause towonder if they should. They say yes more often than not; they take risks.Some of these risks are ones I'd consider or would do and others aren't.They're not overly concerned about what other people think about them,or, at least, that's how it appears; but I know for a fact they care to some

degree. They just don't let what someone else might or does think stopthem if there's something they really want to do. They are often ready-fire-aim types.I possess some of their traits, but that kind of forceful personality is notwho I am. It's not my nature. Over time, I've taught myself to shift fromwaiting until everything is "perfect" before moving forward, but I'm still aready-aim-fire type. Perfection is a belief and an illusion, and it's just notfun. Neither is standing still or stagnating."I would rather be loathed for who I am, than loved for who I am not." -Wayne Dyer

Who you are is who you are. You may decide to tweak, color outside thelines, step outside the box, or whatever catchy line will help you dosomething different; but if you seek to do something in a way that's not inalignment with your nature, or you don't have head-and-heart alignmentabout it, you won't have the experience you hope to. Life really isn't justabout the outcomes; it really is about how we experience the path wetravel to get where we want or think we want to go.When you feel compelled to change something about your life or

business, you might look for a guru who has a formula. It works for them,doesn't it? What if you're not like them? How well will their formula fityou? Is it flexible enough so you can make it fit? If you're uncomfortableenough to want to change or shift or create something new, don't youwant it to fit you well? Do you want it to be more work or more fun?When you know what you really want and how to create it as a good fit,your version of boldness will be organic and natural for you. You won't bedoing anything that is an unnatural risk; every action you take will be apiece of your tailor-made jigsaw puzzle.


16/26

5 Foundation Points of Self Mastery

1. Mental Discipline: Thought management. Do you manage your thoughts or do they manage you? You don't need to make this hard workyou just need to pay attention to how your thoughts happen and whatyou do about them. When negative thoughts start to play or replay inyour mind, what technique do you engage to manage and use them for your benefit? It may help you to distinguish thought categories such asthose that really do need your attention and reruns that need to bereplaced with new tapes. Quick Shift Tip: Focus on what you want (outer target) and want to feel (inner target). Ask yourself what you might do tomove these forward. Do it or them.2. Emotions Management: Do you use or abuse these, or use them for self-abuse? Emotions are one of the greatest gifts we have. Most of usfeel untrained at how to use them wisely, though. You can decide whatthis wise use would be for you; but, emotions are like neon signs flashingthe message, "Important stuff here! Ask right questions!" What emotionsare not meant to be used for is to manipulate others nor to beat up or

even torture yourself mentally with. Quick Shift Tip: Rather than berateyourself when you feel emotional, ask, "What's in this for me? Whatwants to be adjusted?"3. Vision Clarity: A clear target. A target can be unclear because you'renot sure where you're supposed to aim (you haven't picked a target). Itcan be unclear because of how you "see" (perceive) circumstances, asthough you're nearsighted and not using glasses or contacts when youaim at the bulls-eye. There are numerous methods available to help youwith this one. Find one and use it. Quick Shift Tip: Write or type a) Whatyou don't want; b) What you don't want to feel; c) What you do want; d)

What you do want to feel. Know that when you land on a target thatmakes you feel enlivened, even if you don't know all the steps to hit it,you've got clarity. This is valid for what you want to experience and howyou want to feel.4. Focused Attention: The shortest distance between two points is . . .yup, always a straight line. Once you know what your target is you canskip taking detours, unless you really want to take them. If you're workingon something and your focus keeps shifting, ask what needs your

attention most at that moment then give it so you don't enter the negativeloop of flipping between real action and thought activity. You might alsowant to ask how passionate you feel about what you're working on. Canyou find a way to feel this or more of it? Can you create a fun challengefor yourself about it? Quick Shift Tip: Ask, "Does this thought, word,action, person, event, or moment move me toward or away from mytarget? Extra Tip: Keep a sheet of paper handy to jot down briefly,inspired ideas that pop up, knowing you will give them attention at amore appropriate time.5. Passionate Commitment: What's your why? Why this, why now, whoare you doing it for? Not including the times when you're doing thingsthat will benefit others because you have head-and-heart alignmentabout doing so, ask if there's anything you're doing because someoneexpects it of you and you're really not on board. Also, if there'ssomething you've always dreamed of doing, ask yourself the Whyquestions. This helps you clarify whether it's a This Would be Nice or I'mSo Intentional about This, I'm going to do It No Matter What or How LongIt Takes. See the difference? Quick Shift Tip: Make a list of things you doand check in on how strong your Why is for doing them. This can be agreat stress and time management tool.Whatever you're trying to do or master, these five points need to beincluded underneath anything else. They're the cake and the rest is theicing.


17/26

When You Are Ready For Your True Wealth

You may have moved through your life thinking you knew exactly whoyou were based on your points of origin: geographic location, economicstatus of your family or guardians, cultural and/or religious beliefs, andso on. You may have believed you knew how the real world works basedon what you were told by everyone who had any influence in your life.

And, you may have believed them and acted in ways to prove them right.But if you were ready for your inheritance, something inside you keptnagging, kept asking, "Is this all there is?"... because you felt at your core there was more.The film The Secret arrived on the scene preceded and followed bynumerous writings, films, and teaching programs based on UniversalLaws. After all the excitement that lasted a while, came the headlinesproclaiming the flaws in The Secret and the hidden Laws; and you were,and are, spoiled with opportunities to discover the missing bits, keys, or pieces that can help you.

If you were new to this information (and even not so new), you may havequickly felt frustrated because you believed if you did this and that,everything would change. Let's be clear: you believed your external lifewould change, and you wanted it to so you could feel the way you wantto feel.What happens in your external life is not your true inheritance or wealth.Who you truly are as a creative power is.The biggest reason anyone bumps into frustration and challenges withthis information is because to really get it and get it going, they arerequired to recognize the truth, which means most, if not all, of what theybelieve about reality has to be recognized for what it is. The truth of their involvement has to be accepted and managed with consciousawareness.There is a learning curve involved, to gain wisdom. This wisdom leads tohumility (and true joy) when you understand the bigger picture, the roleyou and others play in helping you create experiences, and the overalleffect of positive and negative judgment on experiences. You learn to begenerous at allowing others to discover their True Wealth in their own

time and ways. You learn to be gentle with yourself and others. You learnhow you play and how to play.To fully inherit your true wealth, you have to stop believing in the illusion;you have to develop your personalized techniques to step-by-step trainyourself to manage your powerful creative energy; and you have tocompletely own your creative power.True wealth comes with the responsibility of self-management,understanding how things work so you expand and enhance rather thanstagnate or decline. You have to pay attention to energy and dynamics.You have to act with deliberation and deliberately. You have toappreciate this gift, this Truth, from a new level of awareness.Any shifts in your external experiences must start in your inner experience by facing the truth and all its implications: "There is nospoon."Are you ready for that?["There is no spoon," is one of the best lines in the Matrix movies. If youhaven't seen the first film in the trilogy, you may wish to rent it.]


18/26

Not Your Ordinary Sand Castle

Morning stretched itself awake as I made my way down to the shore and joined the handful of early risers. Lacy edges of waves lapped gentlyover my feet and I scrunched my toes in warm sand. Good time to builda sand castle. It was modestdone mostly for relaxation and meditation.Not a thing anyone would pause to admire. After I finished the basicshape, I began to decorate the form with shells. A boy about eight yearsof age walked up and began to kick at the castle. What was in his mind for him to do such a thing?

What happened next happened quickly. I held out my hand filled withshells and said, Here. Help me put these on. He stopped kicking,looked at me for several seconds, then took the shells and began toplace them on the castle. We decorated in comfortable silence.Im out of shells, he said after several minutes.Get more, I replied. He did, giving some to me.After a while, another little boy came along and started to kick the castle.My little boy started to fight him. I said, Give him some shells. The newboy worked with us for a couple of minutes then left.When the entire exterior was covered in shells and shell fragments, westepped back to look at our work. We did a good job, I said, Thankyou. He looked at me, looked at the castle, said it was time for him to goand he left. I watched for a while as he walked away and wonderedhow long our sand castle would remain in tact; then, I left for the day.Early the next morning, I went down to the si te. The shell-adorned castle,remarkably, had been allowed to just be. It was evident that only naturehad touched it with its tide.Thoughts about this moment in time with the little boy wove in and out of my consciousness that day. He must have been surprised when I didntyell at him to stop his kicking, or take even more aggressive actiontowards him. It certainly surprised me when I felt inspired to suggest he

join me. Yes, I extended my hand to him, but he chose to invest his timeand energy into his ornamental efforts and then felt a need to protect thecreation when someone sought to destroy it. I realized that perhaps for human consciousness, Investment equals Connection. I realized how

different life might be if we assumed our connection first. Investment ineach other and our world would be automatic.As I gave this moment on the beach even more consideration, I thoughtthat if we dont feel or perceive our connection to something or someone,its easy to either not care about it or them, or to destroy without thoughtor awareness. I accept what quantum physics reveals to us: all inexistence is comprised of the same energy that is everywhere in theuniverse. The only separation is, ultimately, in our minds. Quantum

physics reveals that after we peel away all layers of manifestation,absolutely nothing is there. Nothing but the consciousness in all thingsour shared consciousness, I would addand the potential for manifestation. Whether we call that consciousness the Creator or we callit Pudding doesnt matter. Its real. Its who we are. We just havent fullyunderstood that yet.I wonder if that moment is one the boy, who would be a young adult now,remembersif it had any influence in his life. That moment is still agolden thread in my lifes tapestry. It was a lovely, peaceful solution. Itwas a moment of loving kindness towards a stranger who would become

a momentary friend.I realize that when someone gives me a challenge, if appropriate, I canoffer them some shells. If I, and others, practice peaceful solutions withsmaller challenges, we may one day seek to find peaceful ways to dealwith the really big ones. And, isnt that what love would do?


19/26

Are You Thinking or Processing?

Surely, the mental energy youre giving current (or old) issues isaccomplishing something, right? It depends on if youre thinking or processing.You, too, may appreciate this exchange between Bob Proctor and LeslieHouseholder when they met, before she wrote her first book that became

a best-seller. He told her she was fairly balanced between right and leftbrain but was more of a creative type. She disagreed and informed himshe was a math major, analytical, that she constantly thought about her life and everything (always in thinking mode). She admitted she was aprocessor. (Processing is when you hash out data and details, real andimaginary, whether to others or to yourselfmore than once . . . oftenWAY more than once.)Bob responded:Youre not thinking. Youre mind is busy; but youre not thinking.Leslie said she, first, wondered if shed just been insulted and went on toprocess his comment for a year. She then explained the difference:When you THINK, you create a NEW idea.A new idea. Not a rehashed old one. New means youve never thoughtof this particular something or thought of it in quite this way, or had thisidea or seen it in this new l ight. Leslie added that Bob knew her tendencyto process instead of think was what prevented her desired positivechanges from happening.Shifting this can be a real challenge because your mind may be wellpracticed to replay and replay and replayeither what happened, how it

might have gone (but didnt), a worse-case scenario, moments from thepast, conversations youve had or wish youd had or plan to have . . . andin all that thought movement, you never once focus on a new way toapproach the issue or allow in an original idea.You might also replay core beliefs and contrasts at the same time youstrive to affirm new ones. Your conscious mind may affirm: I attract/match my vibration with abundance. Your subconscious hears you, saysokay, and starts this in progress. Then your conscious mind reminds your subconscious core about deep-level programs runningevidenced by

what youve experienced (your experiences prove something, dontthey?)and says things like, But, I dont see it. I want it yesterday. Howlong do I have to wait?! I never have original ideas. EVERYTHING IS ASTRUGGLE! You begin to process, based on your five sensesandpast, which leads you to charge these thoughts with LOTS of emotion.And your subconscious mind responds: Okay; got it. You dont see it,even if its in the room with you; and if IT is right outside your door, youllkeep the door closed. If it wasnt here yesterday, its never coming. Youwant to know how long you have to wait. Lets find out how long becauseWaiting and Have It/Are It are two different programs/emotionally-charged feelings; and the one you believe more gets fulfilled first. Yourenot open to receive original ideas, so well replay old ones because thatswhats available; and if we need to, well borrow from othersbecauseyou Never have original ideas. Everything is a struggle for you. Ill get towork on making sure youre proved rightbecause Im programmed tobelieve you are and act on it.A new thought or idea comes to a calm mind, a mind open because itsuncluttered, free of the wasteful energy of processingand (gulp)

panicking. This includes transforming an old idea that pops into mind,into a new idea, then charging it up with feeling it as your reality (it reallycould be). If your old thoughts havent changed your reality experienceyet, why not try new ones.Processing is wearing; its exhausting, among other things. It tells youlies such as the ones listed above. I could say, Hey, if youre going to lieto yourself, do it in your favor; but youd have to release processing andembrace thinking. And, youd have to do this deliberately every time youhead towards busy mind rather than mindfulness.One reason we struggle with this is demonstrated by a quote from Oliver Wendell Holmes: The mind, once expanded to the dimensions of larger ideas, never returns to its original size. Your inner self knows whatsdescribed here is true. It also knows what it takes to make it true for youconsistently. Its natural to be inclined to revert to the usual ways. But,once youve so much as entertained the idea of a new, better way, oldways no longer feel like a good fitthey cease to feel like a comfortzone. And, the idea that if you deliberately calm down and shift your energy, you create change or a more positive experience just seemsridiculous when youre stressed, even if you know what kind of results to


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expect if you follow the usual approach. Higher awareness applied toanything creates different, improved results.For the rest of today, pay attention to the conversations you have withyourself (and others). If you find that you slip into processing, pause andsay to yourself, Your mind is busy, but youre not thinking.If youve ever looked for a successful way to quiet your mind, this willhelp you do it.


21/26

Do These Time Wasters Affect Your Life?

Activities we usually name as time wasters are too much TV viewing,daydreaming, or anything that isnt a productive use of minutes andhours. Here are a few more to consider.

Gossip . Whats the point, really? Conveying needed information to theappropriate person or people is useful, but negative gossip is a misuseof time and energy; and as Gandhi said, a form of violence. Each of usdoes the best we believe we can to make our way through our lives andchallenges even if others dont see it that way. Unless you must tellsomeone something they really need to know, speak about othersaccomplishments, strengths, courage, kindnesses, and generosityor stay silent. This lifts your energy and the energy of those you speak with.Manage your damage (and damnage ).

Criticism . Constructive critiquing can be useful; criticism is usually just away to vent about something we havent addressed in our lives or ourselves. It often reveals more about us than what or who we criticize. If you feel the need to criticize, ask where or how you feel restricted thenchange it so you feel better. One way to manage this habit is to consider the possibility that people are mirrors. If triggered by another personsbehavior or action, ask in what way this reflects something within you. Itmay appear somewhat differently or in a lesser degree in your life, butyou can see it and address it. I find that when I observe behaviors inothers and feel compassion, it means Ive dealt with similar issues andappreciate what their experience might be like for them. [This works for seeing the good in others, as well.]This also reminds me of something Wayne Dyer shared with anaudience during one of his PBS specials. He recounted working with a

client who went on and on about his conflicted relationship with hismother rather than address what he could do in his own regard. Waynefinally told the client to go get his mother. The client asked why. Waynesaid, Go get her and bring her here. Ill talk to her, and youll get better.

Repetitive dwelling on what others do or did . Unless your motivationis to understand or appreciate something, you can use up a lot of time(and energy) re-running an imaginary film or recording about whatsomeone did or said. If what happened doesnt directly impact you in away that requires your current attention, wish them well and get on withcreating the life you wish to experience. If it does directly impact you in

the now, handle it then let it go. If a re-run attempts to play once youvetaken care of it, remind yourself, Im grateful my memory cells work, butIve already managed that.

Worry . Youve probably heard that most of what we worry about never happens; and the things that happen, we usually arent given time toworry about. If you can shift something to make a situation better, do so.If youre not sure what to do, pause until you are. If youre unable to shiftsomething at the outer level, shift it at the inner level by looking at itdifferently and focusing on what you wish to expand. Another way to shiftthis is to ask, Am I dealing with this right now, where I am? If yourewatching a movie (or supposed to be) and worrying about somethingelse, watch the movie or get up and do something to shift what your concern is.Do something that makes you feel better. For some people, this includesprayer or meditation. For others, its exercise, a relaxing bath, or even anap. Maybe soothing music or a funny movie will do the trick. A walk inthe park or around the neighborhood may be just the thing; or a visit witha friend (but dont have a pity party). The better you feel, the better theevents and people you attract into your life are.We all have moments when we are out of alignment, and we feel bad.You are not obligated to hang onto feeling this way, even when it seemslogical. Yes, you may need to vent or cry or express your feelings, whichare all healthy things to do; but you dont have to stay in that place anylonger than necessary. Nor do you need to use up your moments in theless productive and ultimately harmful expressions listed above.What you focus your strongest feelings on, you experience more of. Thisisnt just a Law of Attraction premise: revisiting negative thoughts andemotions with no intention to move forward isnt much different thanrepeatedly hitting your head with a hammer.One last suggestion is to allow that if you currently do any or all of thebolded items, its likely theyre learned (and well practiced) behaviors.The ones that create negative feelings have remedies listed that areideals to strive for. Realistically, youll do them again; but perhaps whenyou find yourself practicing any one of them that doesnt lead you to feelthe way you desire to feel, youll remember that there is another way,and shift your approach. Its about choice to self-empower as you go, notabout never doing any of them again. Perfection is a painful illusion.Choice is a powerful tool.


22/26

Set Them Free

The Law of Attraction states that whatever we hold our focus, specifically,our emotionally-charged feelings on is what we get more of even if itsnot what we desire. Its easy to relate this to a better job, more money,and all the improvements we typically seek to expand into our lives, butthis also applies to relationships.

When were first introduced to information such as this, and even after working with it for years, we discover we have many issues and areas of our lives we wish to affect. Akin to separating like-colored marbles, wefind we have to deal with each color one at a time in order toaccomplish this.Ive been on a diligent path to address my marbles, so matters aredealt with as they come to my attention. One in particular is a long-timerelationship with someone whos been considered difficult. In the lastseveral years, circumstances changed and her behaviors escalated to apoint that people who needed to interact with her found they couldnt

cope with her and couldnt get her to understand how she was affectingthose around her, so began to avoid her. I was one of them. It was trulychallenging for me to engage with her at any level; yet, I wasnt willing togive up.One of my affirmations is, I EXPECT harmonious relationships. This gotmy attention during a morning meditation and I asked myself, How canyou expect your relationship with her to be anything other than what itsbeen as long as you have her fixed in your mind as capable of onlycertain behaviors?I didnt give this a lot of thought. I simply chose in that moment to set her

free from my imposed belief and expectation that she couldnt behaveany other way. Nor did I envision her behaving as Id like her to. I Let Her Be. We spoke the following week and what happened might be called amiracle by some. After years of conversations I regarded as tortuous, wehad the most pleasant conversation in decades. Within a few days, Ireceived an email from someone whose experiences with this womanmatched mine. His comments were that hed just had a most remarkableconversation with her, unlike any hed had with her in years; and he wasstunned.

Our view of others can be so subtle in our consciousness we dontrealize how we affect our relationship with them. In setting her free, I setmyself free, as well. After all, not all of my memories about this personare what wed called negative ones. There are many, many positiveones. Since Ive shifted my perception of her, more positive memoriesfloat into my consciousness and I embrace them. This is whats calledChanging the Past. We dont actually change the past, but rather how weperceive or view it. The outcome is that doing this has changed the way I

experience the presentand this person.Set them free and you set yourself free.


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How to Be the Experience You Wish to Have

Ever have one of those moments, events, or days when it appears if itcan go wrong it seems to? Were you pleased with how you managedyourself, and the outcome?The event was one I not only looked forward to, but carefully planned for.My handouts, business cards, and artificial bonsai tree were packed and

ready to go in my wheeled suitcase the day before the event. It wasscheduled to start at noon and last until two oclock; which meant Ineeded to be at the site for 11:30 so I could set up my table. And, Idbeen told to expect about two hundred people to attend. I was ready!The morning of the event, I went through my usual meditative routine,and included my mantra, used especially when I have to commute or travel:

Im always in the right place at the right time with the right actionand the right people.

Using the subway on a Saturday means you have to allow extra time for a slower commute; for me, about an 80-minute ride to my destination. If Ileft by 10 a.m., Id have enough time for the ride and to walk to the site. Ididnt leave my apartment until almost 10:15. Pulling my weightedsuitcase on the bumpy sidewalk, I made it to the subway stationa 15-minute walk without a suitcase. It was roped off . . . being painted iswhat the person I asked told me. Im always in the right place at the right time . . .

I repeated my mantra as I quickly pulled my suitcase the eight blocksnorth to the next subway stop, also roped off. My brain went into gear:There wasnt enough time for me to keep walking north until I found anopen station. I didnt have enough cash with me to take a car service asfar as my destination (and who knew what traffic was l ike), nor did I wantto pay around $70 for a ride that cost $2.50 on the subway. And, thatwas just one way.A note on a post caught my attention: shuttle bus. I crossed the street towhere others stood at a regular bus stop. A woman explained what I hadto do. I checked my watch; it was 10:40. The bus pulled up, I got on, andasked the driver if he was taking us to the next transfer station where I

could catch the train. Its not running there. You have to go to thetransfer station after that one. Only 18 blocks, but to my ego, it seemedlike 18 miles. Im always in the right place.I hurried down the steps to the subway platform. An express train wasthere and I flew through its doors and got a seat. At the main transfer station, I changed to the express train that would take me to my stop onManhattans Upper West Side. It was 11:20 and I was at a station inLower Manhattan when I realized there is no express service in the city

on Saturday. Wed make every local stop.Understand I wasnt upset or losing it, though I was bemused; then I wasamused as I realized this was an opportunity to really practice what Ipreach. There was no way I could arrive frazzled and tout coaching toget peaceful, poised, on purpose, and empowered. I quietly laughed tomyself and believed it would all be fine. I chose to have an inner andouter adventure that affirmed Im always in the right place . . .I arrived at 11:45, ready to get set up and meet and greet the people.The room wasnt ready, and everyone hosting a table stood aroundlooking not too happy. We didnt get our room until 12:15. It took no timefor me to set up, so I started helping everyone who said they neededextra hands. I was the only one there who seemed to be in a good mood;everyone else seemed stressed. I activated my clown chakra and gotsome of them to smile and several to laugh.The two hundred people turned out to be about twenty; and I spoke withevery one of them. No one bought any of my books, but I coachedanother host (I love when the aha moment happens for a person),coached one of the attendees, distributed my handouts, met someamazing people, and got an insight. Actually, I got more than one insight.At first blush, it might have appeared that lots of things went wrong.However, every time something seemed to go awry, something terrificfollowed itprimarily because I allowed that it could. I refused to gettense. Tension in your energy turns you into something akin to a pricklycactus, and nothing can get near you.I was always in the right place at the right time with the right action andthe right people.I chose to be the experience I wished to have.


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Mans Economy vs. Spirits Economy

Ernest Holmes wrote that doubt is a belief in two powers instead of one.Lets tie this in with beliefs about the economy and abundance.I dont, as I type this, recall who said our individual economy is separatefrom the worlds economy. There are plenty of people demonstrating thisas accurate, people doing quite well no matter whats going on.

Have you ever had a seemingly fleeting thought (or a focused one) whenyou wished you had a particular something and either you found itavailable to take for free or maybe someone gave it to you or asked if youd like it because they were getting rid of it? However you got it,which economy did this result come from, mans or Spirits?Mans economic system says we can only attain or obtain things in,primarily, one way: money exchange. It also limits how and how much anindividual can have, if the individual accepts these limitations, that is.Spirits economic system says abundance resources are limitless, as ishow what we ask for can come to us. All we have to do is be a willing

participant.One of the biggest opportunities that exists for us today, is to give realconsideration to which economic system we give more validity tomansor Spirits. The reality is there is only One Economy, just as there is onlyOne Infinite Power; but we impose our perceptions and assumptions onit. We limit our use of it through our beliefs.This is a topic made complex because its influenced by each individualsbelief system. Do you believe you can ask for what you want or something even better? Do you believe it can come to you from anyone,from anywhere, at anytime? Are you willing to allow what you desire to

come to you, however it does? This last one is a big one for many. Youwouldnt think it would be, but it is. Why is this?All sorts of belief programs get installed in us during our lifetime. Heresan example that may nudge you to consider what messages are playingsubliminally in your subconscious.Someone I know told me about a time her parents and she, when shewas an adolescent, visited her sister in her new home. It was a nicehouse, not lavish, but contemporary. When the visit was over and their

car pulled out of the driveway, her mother was furious and said, I never thought Id see the day when one of my children would have a housenicer than mine. An imprint was left on the young girl that if she ever hadmore, or even the same, as her mother . . . well, it wouldnt be good.There was no conscious thought about this in the girls mind as she grewup; but subconsciously, even though she desired to experience successand abundance, shed move towards these then block them fromhappening. In her subconscious mind, the imagined (or real) penalty was

too great.Hers is an example of subconscious suppression. There are consciousones such as a particular comment heard in parts of the South: Youreliving above your raising. In effect, its a parallel suppression, via aculture, to the one in the girls story. Other cultures use similar statements. Society uses the class system.Such comments or beliefs come from those who believe in manseconomics rather than Spirits. This also contributes to making peoplebelieve that money is the desired target that affirms their value or identity, or an evil to avoid.

Heres an inspiring quote from Dan Miller:The fruits of a fulfilling lifehappiness, confidence, enthusiasm,purpose, and moneyare mainly by-products of doing something weenjoy, with excellence, rather than things we can seek directly.People struggle and suffer because theyre confused about what theyshould focus on. Money is the means we use to have certain, butcertainly not all, experiences we desire. If we believe money is theONLY way we can have experiences, were buying into mans economicsystem and ignoring Spirits.

It does help if you identify a belief thats holding you back from havingthe life experience you desire. You move forward more quickly if youallow such beliefs to surface (rather than dwell on surfacing them) whileyou also deliberately put your attention on what you want, which areexperiences that allow you to feel how you wish to feel.How would you feel and what actions would you take (or not take) if youbelieved only mans economic system? How would you feel and whatactions would you take (or not take) if you believed only Spirits? Whichone is the Truth?


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If youre inclined, you might entertain these scenarios in a meditation or in a journal. Envision yourself in both and ask your inner intelligence howeach feels for you, what your life looks like in each. Do any fears comeup about making a choice? Will you have to displease one or morepeople, or society or a culture, if you say yes to the life you desire andare ready to live?How unfulfilled do you need to be to make others happy?What might it take for you to make your choice?


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