Lesson I- Courtship, Dating, and

Marriage

Introduction

Family - It helps us in improving our personality. It also helps us in shaping our life. It teaches us the value of integrity, love and honesty and provides us with tools necessary for success.

-a place where you can be yourself.-most people don’t realize the importance

of family, they prefer to spend most of their time with their friends.

Love and Infatuation are both intense emotions that one feels for another person.

INFATUATION OR CRUSH is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoning passion or love; addictive love.

-admiration for someone while not recognizing that person’s flaws

LOVE can be described as a feeling of intense affection for another person

- is deep affection for someone

ATTRACTION is admiration for someone that may include the desire to get to know that person better.

CRUSHES usually last for only a short time, few weeks or maybe a few months.

COURTSHIP

is the period in a couple's relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage or it is an establishment of an agreed relationship of a more enduring kind.

Here are different traditional practices of courtship in the Philippines

ILOCOS - tapat, ("to be in front of the woman’s house” similar to harana)

TAGALOG REGIONS- balagtasan (singing a romantic song)

LUZON - Rooster courtship (rooster is assigned to be the "negotiator", wherein the male chicken is left to stay in the home of the courted to crow every single morning for the admired lady's family.)

BULACAN – naninilong ( means serenading from the basement. )

KALINGA - ebgan Ifugaos - ca-i-sing Tingguians - pangis

-where a man and a woman are separated into "houses“, for the males is called Ato, for females is known as the olog or agamang

man visits the woman’s house to sing romantic songs and the woman reply to these songs

BATANGAS - traditional eve of the wedding procession, bring the cooking ingredients for the celebration to the bride’s home

PANGASINAN - taga-amo, which means "tamer", a form of love potions or charms which can be rubbed to the skin of the admired. There is also the use of palabas, meaning show or drama wherein the man pretends to commit suicide.

APAYAO - mahal-alay (allows a man and a woman to sleep together during the night)

PALAWAN – pasaguli (the use of love riddles )pabalic / pabalik is done to settle the price in a

form of dowry that will be received by the women from the courting man.

CEBUANOS – balak (write love letters that are sent through a trusted friend or relative of the woman)

LEYTE - pangagad or paninilbihan (suitor accomplishes household and farm chores for the family of the woman

- subok (a trial or test period for the serving suitor.)

BICOL - it is called pamianan. TAUSUGS OF MINDANAO - Palabas, sarakahan

tupul, or magpasumbahi (A suitor would threaten to stab his heart while in front of the courted woman’s father)

BAGOBOS - sends a knife or a spear as a gift to the home of the courted woman for inspection. Accepting the weapon is equivalent to accepting the man’s romantic intention and advances.

Pre-arranged marriages and betrothals are common to Muslims. It involves discussions regarding the price and the form of the dowry.

The Tausug people proclaims that a wedding, a celebration or announcement known as the pangalay. It is officiated by an Imam.

Readings from the Quran is a part of the ceremony, as well as the placement of the groom's fingerprint over the bride's forehead.

Courtship Practices at the Age of Technology

- A suitor can court a woman through the use of cellphones.

- A man can court a woman through Facebook, Twitter, Skype or other social networking sites.

1. Courting gives time to understand one another.

2. It reveals one’s interests, likes and dislikes limitations, and other aspirations in life.

3. It allows couples to decide whether they want to be committed.

4. It allows couples to know if they are ready to be commit.

5. It develops security.6. It develops understanding and acceptance.

DATING

• dating actually comes from the arranging of a time and date of meeting.

• a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people, as partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse.

• it refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity, together, as a couple

Types of dating:

1.Standard date – involves two people

2.Double date – two couples go on a date at the same time and place

3.Group date – where any number of couples can enjoy a date

Importance of Dating

• It forms affection and respect.• It strengthens the relationship.• It gives quality time to each other.• It leads one to observe the other person’s character.• Provides an opportunity for one to know his/her

strengths and weaknesses in dealing with the opposite sex.

• It allows you to get to know the person you are in a relationship with, while having a good time.

Going steady -a period wherein the relationship between two people remains strong and well.

Engagement – a period of agreement entered between two people in love for them to be able to know each other and their families well enough to be sure that they are ready and are suited for life-long companionship

MARRIAGE is a lifelong partnership of a man and a woman, two unique individuals, who understand, respect, care, and love each other

- a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman entered into in accordance with law for the establishment of conjugal and family life

Factors Necessary to Consider in choosing a lifetime partner to work out for Successful Married Life:

1. Maturity 5. Physical Maturity2. Fidelity 6. Economic Readiness3. Commitment 7. Character4. Love 8. God-fearing

RECIPE / INGREDIENTS OF A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

• Love • Understanding / Respect• Care• Loyalty• A Shared Philosophy• Cooperation• Growth• Involvement• Sharing and Giving• Communication