leadership training - the boys' brigade singapore

7/29/2019 Leadership Training - The Boys' Brigade Singapore

1/42

Rank/Name: _____________________Company: ____ Singapore Company

Date: ____________Coy/Squad: ____________

The Boys Brigade in Singapore

Pre Course Reading Material for

LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT COURSE II


2/42

Pre Course Reading MaterialLeadership Development Course II - Leadership the Practical Way

i

Course Information and General Instruction

1. Introduction: The Leadership Development Course (LDC) II Programme was

reviewed in 2006 to ensure that the young leaders of The Boys Brigade arethoroughly equipped so as to enable them to assume junior leadership role in theirrespective companies.

2. Course Aim: The aim of the LDC II is to supplement and consolidate individualcompanys continual efforts in building Boys traits of leadership.

3. Job: The LDC II reinforces Boys awareness in different traits of leadership inOfficers, Primers, and fellow Boys through interaction and project work. Specifically,LDCII facilitates Boys development in leadership capabilities by providingopportunities through projects, and thus the new theme Leadership the PracticalWay.

4. Course Structure: The entire LDC II is structured around different projects withminimal theoretical lessons. The basis of the new structure for LDC II is theassumption that Boys possess basic leadership theoretical knowledge, which is afollow up from LDC I. Thus, this governs the establishment of this Pre-CourseReading Material which Boys are to read. The entire Pre-Course Reading Material isdivided into three sections, namely:

a. Reading Material for LDC I

b. Reading Material for LDC II

c. Social Etiquette

Kindly note that not all the reading materials (item b. and c.) will be covered duringLDCII. These are reference materials to reinforce our Boys understanding of relevanttopics.

5. Final Instruction: Boys are to read this Pre Course Reading Material before thecommencement of the LDC II course, so as to accelerate the learning curve, through

practical applications, during the LDC II three day-two night residential camp. ThisPre Course Reading Material will be available one month before commencement ofcourse. Assessment in the form of written examination will be conducted on thefirst day of LDC II. Boys are liable to fail the course in the event of the failure of thewritten examination and Captains of their respective companies will be duly informed.


3/42


ii

Content Page

1. Part 1 Reading Material for LDC Ia. Traits of Leadership 1 - 1

b. Leading 1 - 5c. Squad Management 1 - 9d. Upfront Speaking 1 - 12e. Lessons from Christian Leaders 1 - 16f. Instructional Techniques 1 - 18

2. Part 2 Reading Material for LDC IIa. Roles of NCO 2 - 1b. What to do in a Crisis Situation 2 - 4c. Leadership 2 - 5d. Traits of a Leader 2 - 8

e. Functional Skills of Leadership 2 - 11f. Planning and Organising 2 - 13

3. Part 3 Social Etiquette 3 1


4/42


1 - 1Part 1 Reading Material for LDC I

PART 1 READING MATERIAL FOR LDC I

TRAITS OF LEADERSHIPWHAT IS LEADERSHIP

Leadership may be defined as the ability to motivate people to work towards a commongoal. Thus, as a leader, you should:

1. Motivate, rather than demand, people to follow your lead.2. Induce commitment and responsibility in your people.3. Focus on your goal when you lead.

STYLES OF LEADERSHIP

AutocraticThe leader makes a decision and expects the members to comply with it.

Eg. There must be no movementafter lights out.

DemocraticThe leader makes a decision after listening to the members suggestions.

Eg. After listening to the different opinions, my decision is

Laissez-faire

The leader gives the information and lets the members make the decision.

Eg. These are the options, now you will make the choice.

Autocratic Democratic Laissez-faire

Question : Which leadership style is the best?

Answer : None. You should use the style that is most suitable for the situation.


5/42



ESSENTIAL QUALITIES OF A LEADER

Discipline

A leader will not surrender to any conflicting desire but will stick to the right things to do. A

sense of self-discipline will enable the leader to do whats right, even when he doesnt feellike it. In so doing, this habit formed will sustain the leader to face the multitudes ofchallenges and pressures in the life ahead. For without discipline, other leadership qualitiescannot grow.

Servanthood

A leader serves his people willingly and sees it as his duty. Jesus, after washing hisdisciples feet, said to them, If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you alsoought to wash one anothers feet. (John 13:14)

Wisdom

A leader leads his people to do the right thing. Can one who influences his Boys to skipparades be considered a leader?

Humility

A leader willingly follows when another person is appointed to lead. A good leader is also agood follower.

Integrity

A leader is open and honest. He is upright in character, loyal in service, and honest inspeech. Your true character is what you are when nobody watches you.

Patience

Will you run so far ahead that no one is able to catch up? A leader is not so strong that hecannot understand the weaknesses of his followers.

Friendship

You can measure a leader by the number and quality of his friends. Jesus led His followersby friendship and love. To Him, Simon Peter confessed, "Lord, you know all things; you knowthat I love you" (John 21:17).

Executive Ability

Besides motivating others, a leader must know how to reach the goal. Vision alone is notenough, you must design the plans and execute them.


6/42



DANGERS OF LEADERSHIP

Pride

When a person rises in position, the tendency is that pride also increases. If not checked,

this attitude will disqualify him from further leadership. "The Lord detests all the proud ofheart" (Proverbs 16:5).

Three tests help us to identify the problem:

How do you react when another person is selected for the position you expected tohave? Or when another person is more talented than you?

How do you react when others identify the weaknesses and problems in you? Will youdeny them?

Do criticisms lead to immediate displeasure and self-justification? Do you rush to criticizethe critic?

Egotism

Although a leader should be confident in his leadership, he should nevermagnify his achievement to glorify himself.

J ealousy

Are you jealous when others are more talented than you? Are you bitter when others seemmore popular than you?

Popularity

Which leader does not desire to be liked by his people? There is no fault in receivingencouragement, but the leader must refuse to be idolized.

Infallibility

Even the greatest leader makes mistakes that require

correction. People will lose confidence in a leader whobelieves himself to be perfect.

CAN YOU BE A LEADER

If you look carefully, you may detect some leadership potential in you:

Have you ever broken a bad habit? To lead others, you must first discipline yourself. Do you exercise self-control when things go wrong? The leader who loses self-control

forfeits respect and influence.


7/42



Can you exert discipline without making a power play? Trueleadership is an internal quality and needs no show of external force.

Are you a peacemaker? A leader must be able to make peace withopponents especially in a heated argument.

Can you accept opposition to your view point or decision withouttaking offense? Leaders always face opposition.

Are you tactful? Can you anticipate how your words will affect a person?

Is your will strong and steady? Leaders cannot drift with the wind.

Can you forgive? Or do you nurse bitterness and harbor illfeelings toward those who have injured you?

CONCLUSION

Although motivation techniques or communication skills are helpful, these alone will notmake you a leader. A leader earns his respect because of his integrity and sound character.Leadership can be learnt and we can begin with leadership by example. It takes mucheffort to be a good leader but many will eventually benefit from it.

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

1. Think of an officer or a NCO whom you respect. What is in him that makes you feel so?

2. The Lord Jesus is an example of a great leader. What are the qualities He has? Does Hisexample change your definition of a good leader?

3. What will happen if there is no good leadership in your company?

4. Company discipline is only observed during BB hours. Do you accept such a statementfrom a NCO? Why?

5. A leader needs to sacrifice his time and energy for others, do you think it is worth it? Willyou do it?


8/42



LEADINGINTRODUCTION

Besides motivating his people, a leader must know how to lead them to the goal. Eventually,what we want to see is the results of our efforts. Thus, a leader must put his ideas into plans

and lead his people to realize them.

HOW TO LEAD

DESIGN PLANS

Define Objectives

Without objectives, you should not proceed at all as they are the purposes of your lead.How close you meet your objectives will determine the success of your leadership greatly.

Study Your Resources and Limitations

This tells you what is workable and how you should design your action plans. Eg. Given a

$200 budget for a Christmas party, booking a function hall is definitely not possible. Can yousee that $200 is both a resource and a limitation? Always allocate your resources wisely.

Design the Action Plans

Based on your resources and limitations, you will design the action plans. Be creative andplan with the objectives in mind.

ORGANIZE YOUR TEAM

Identify the Tasks

Identify and group related tasks that will contribute to the final success. Provide guidelinesand expectations for each of them.

Brief Your Team

Tell them the objectives, action plans and necessary information. Assign suitable people tothe tasks you have identified earlier. Make sure you put a person in-charge (I/Cs) of eachtask for accountability.

DesignPlans

OrganizeTeam

Execution Debrief


9/42



Check On Their Progress

For a large project, you may need to check on the I/Cs regularly. Correct their plans if thereare any mistakes. Do not be too particular in the methods they use, as long as they followthe guidelines and are able to meet the expectations. Let your team members exercise their

creativity.

EXECUTION

At this stage, you should supervise the execution and concentrate on the important areasespecially if it is a large project. This allows you to see the overall progress of it so that youcan react to any unanticipated problem. In your supervision, you should:

Ensure that everybody is doing something useful. If manpower needs to be transferred toanother area, do it!

Anticipate problems. You should always think ahead and prepare for the next step totake. Thus, do not be concerned about minor matters.

Check on the timing. Plans not completed on time sometimes can be as good as notdone at all.

Encourage your people. Look out for those who are not helping or cause problems andtalk to them in private. At all times, preserve the unity of your team and remind them oftheir mission.

DEBRIEF

This is often a neglected part in leading. It is important to evaluate on the teamsperformance from the planning until the execution especially if similar projects will berepeated or the team is working regularly.

In the debrief, you should point out the learning points, commendable areas and mistakesmade. Remember to resolve conflicts that took place, but be fair, tactful and preserve theteam unity. You should encourage your members to voice out and see things from their

points of view. Lastly, do not forget the important question - How well have we met theobjectives?


10/42



LEADING MY TEAM TO RUN A COMPANY CAMP

OBJECTIVESTo run an interesting outdoor camp comprising of various adventure programmes.

RESOURCES AND LIMITATIONS$500 budget, 10 team members, 30 working days, company logistic etc.

ACTION PLANS1. Source and book a good campsite.2. Advertise the camp and issue consent forms.

3. Continue to plan and improve the camp program.4. . . . . .

TASKSBook campsite by 7 May, design posters, issue consent forms by 21 May, plan andimprove program, contact food caterer, prepare camp equipment, keep account ofmoney etc.

Myself - Source for campsite and supervise the camp.Admin - Issue consent forms, collect camp fees.Finance - Keep and issue money.Logistic - Prepare tents, drink containers, equipment for games.Messing - Prepare meals, fill up drink containers.

Program - Design poster, plan programs.

BRIEFINGBrief my team on the objectives, resources and limitations, action plans, tasks andassign I/C for the various tasks.

Patrick

[ I/C Admin ]

John

[ I/C Finance ]

Richard

[ I/C Logistic ]

Harry

[ I/C Messing ]

Derrick

[ I/C Program ]

Myself

[ Chairman ]

CHECKINGMeet the I/Cs periodically to find out their progress until there is no further uncertaintyor change.


11/42



CONCLUSION

Consider a soccer coach who can motivate his players but do not know how to train them towin soccer matches. Do you think the team will be motivated, effective or last long? A leadermust know how to lead

PRACTICAL EXERCISES

Details will be given by your trainers.


12/42



SQUAD MANAGEMENT

WHAT IS SQUAD MANAGEMENT

The squad system was devised by our founder, Sir William Alexander Smith, to manage a

large group of Boys. With senior Boys appointed as squad leaders, the officers canconcentrate on important areas of the company. It is also a way to prepare senior Boys forgreater responsibility. Good squad management makes a company more effective andefficient in its running.

IMPORTANCE OF SQUAD MANAGEMENT

1. Boys will have more attention from their squad leaders especially inminor matters like polishing or loss of equipment. Imagine a Boyfeeling lost when he does not know who to get a consent form from.

2. Due to the limited size of a squad, more feedback can be received as each Boy will havea chance to share his view. Also, Boys prefer to speak to seniors whom they are closerto.

3. Each Boys potential and short-comings can be identified easily and be dealt witheffectively.

4. Boys loyalty to the company can be established through building their loyalty to theirsquads first.

5. Your Captain and officers can put more attention in important areas of the company.

BENEFITS OF SQUAD MANAGEMENT

1. Boys loyalty to their squads is established and a betterparade attendance is resulted.

2. With better communications between the Boys and squadleaders, friendship rather than rankship is built. The unity of the squads and, eventually,

the company as a whole will be strengthened too.

3. A positive influence is exerted on the Boys. For example, aBoy may not be keen in a company event but since hissquad friends are going, he may decide to join in.

4. Massive administrative tasks can be simplified. Forexample, it will be much easier to collect consent forms atsquad level than at company level.

5. A Boy can contribute to the company through his squad. For example, if all the squads

achieve their BB week targets, the company target will also be reached. The Boys can beappreciated and encouraged by their squad leaders too!


13/42



HOW TO MANAGE A SQUAD

The dos and donts are endless but the following points can be helpful:

1. Communicate a lot with your squad Boys and value their presence in the squad. Nevergive up on the difficult ones.

2. Call your Boys by their names. Failure to remember a Boys nameafter his sixth month in the Squad is just as good as saying, Idont bother much about you.

3. Speak and act with much pleasure and generosity. Beingimpatient or harsh to a Boy will only make him feel rejected.

4. Get your Boys involved in squad planning or duty. Everybody likes to be needed by

somebody!

5. Always place the feeling and interests of the Boys above yours.Remember that a leader must be prepared to sacrifice himself todo what he normally would not.

6. If any unhappiness breaks out, you must not lose yourtemper. Patch up with your Boy or you will lose hisrespect for you and, indirectly, motivate him to leave thecompany. More importantly, isnt it part of our moralvalues to forgive each other in love?

7. Be a good example and a respectable squad leader toyour Boys. Nothing can be more convincing than a good testimony to them.

8.Just as our Lord Jesus has said Love yourneighbour as yourself, you should also love yourBoy as yourself.

EFFECTIVE WAYS TO ESTABLISH SQUAD UNITY

1. Organize squad outings or study groups.

2. Visit your squad Boys at their homes especially for regular absentees.

3. Call up your squad Boys for chats. Do not talk about paradeinformation only; a phone machine can do that too! It may bedifficult to start the communication, but keep trying!

4. If possible, get the opinion of your squad before making adecision. Treat them as your team members and not subordinates.


14/42



5. Update your squad on company information or events.When they know what is happening, they will be moreexcited, prepared or committed.

6. Boost up the morale of your squad during parade games.

7. Produce squad flags or cheers if your company allows.

CONCLUSION

The building blocks of a company are the squads which, if well-managed, will strengthen thecompany greatly. Managing a squad is both a difficult and rewarding task. Your duty as asquad leader must be taken seriously. More importantly, it is through this that you buildgenuine love and concern for your Boys.

CASE STUDIES

1. PTE Danny had a misunderstanding with you and he even challenged you for a fight infront of other squad Boys! How should you react?

2. PTE James was absent for parade over the last 3 weeks without a valid excuse. Yoursquad officer is not in Singapore to advise you and you do not want James to be absentagain. How will you handle the case?

3. Since the last promotion, LCP Kenny and PTE Patrick are not on good terms with eachother. The morale of your squad is thus affected. How can you help? Will you share thiswith your squad officer?

4. The recent parades were very boring and your squad Boys complained to you about it.When you shared this with your officer, he told you not to be affected by them. Pressuredby both sides, what should you do?

5. Recently, your Captain reminded the NCOs to do well in their exams. Motivated by hiswords, you gave PTE Calvin the same advice but he responded, You also didnt do wellfor the last exam and you want to advise me?! You are really hurt and angry, but what he

said is indeed true! How should you answer him?

6. PTE Jacob was involved in a theft case and was caned in school. He was very regretfuland has stopped coming for parade because the squad Boys not longer trust him. Howcan you bring his confidence back and build the trust of the squad in him?

7. The recruits in your squad are extremely difficult to control. Although you are a squadleader, you are a Private and they do not listen to you. How can you have control overthem? What method will you use?

8. A few squad Boys refused to come for parade as they find drill rather boring. Worse of

all, they are attracted by the internet gaming outings organized by other friends onSaturdays. Knowing that the discipline of drill is beneficial, how can you attract them toparade?


15/42



UP-FRONT SPEAKINGINTRODUCTION

Up-front speaking is also called public speaking since it is directed at a group of people.When speaking or instructing, you need to express yourself effectively or else you will losethe interest, confidence and comprehension of your audiences.

The total impact of a message is known to be:

7% verbal (words only) 38% vocal (tone, pitch, volume etc.) 55% non-verbal (hand signals, eye contacts etc.)

As you can see, the vocal and non-verbal impact contributes the most to an effectivecommunication or presentation.

VERBAL IMPACT

Use terms that your audiences are familiar with. Eg. When speaking to the scouts, usepatrol leaders instead of squad leaders.

Use simple words if possible. Eg. Instead of I am contemplating try saying I amthinking.

Simplify your statement unless you meant to be descriptive. Eg. Due to the fact that thesize of the room is too small, some Boys cannot squeeze in. Actually you mean The

room is too small for the Boys.!

Avoid excessive use of words like Okay, You see, Well etc.

VOCAL IMPACT

Pitch is the highness and lowness of your voice. Vary your pitch to capture the interestsof your audiences.

Rate is the speed of your speech. You may slow down to emphasize important points.

Volumeis loudness. You can vary it to capture peoples attention.

Clarity is improved with good pronunciation and moderate loudness.

NON-VERBAL IMPACT

It is also called Body Language and is a natural part of our expression. Eg. A smile is anexpression of joy. The use of body language makes your presentation more effective andinteresting. However, your gestures and body movements must be meaningful and not

exaggerating.


16/42



What messages are they sending?

(1) Modest / Shy (2) Firm / Disagreeing(3) Open / Honest (4) Bored / Uninterested(5) Doubtful / Unsure (6) Evaluating / Deciding

(1)

(4)

(6)(5)

(2)

(3)


17/42



Gesture and Body Movement

They should be used meaningfully to add strength to your statements.

Facial Expression

It can be used together with gestures to emphasize mood and emotion.

Posture

It refers to the way you stand or carry your body. Standing erect with head slightly raisedportrays confidence. Stooped shoulder and bowed head give a negative impression.

Eye Contact

It is often avoided by people who are not confident or shy. However, this is where you sendthe Im looking at you! message to your audiences and retain their interests. Maintainingeye contacts also tells you how much interest or disagreement your audiences have aboutyou.

When speaking to a group, do not stare at a few people throughout. You should scan youraudiences as if you are speaking to every individual. Also, you may want to maintain lesseye contact with people that are distracting so that your confidence will not be lowered.

CONCLUSION

Confidence in up-front speaking takes time to learn and mistakes are unavoidable. It isnormal to be nervous but conquer it! Up-front speaking, once mastered, will improve yourteaching and communication greatly.


18/42



PRACTICAL EXERCISES

Speak on any of the topics for at least one minute:

1. Why I join the BB.

2. Tips in mastering computer games.

3. A movie that impressed me a lot.

4. My childhood.

5. Methods to make friends.

6. What I like about my company.

7. My favorite hobby.

8. Why I come for LDCI.

9. My most unforgettable experience.

10. Things that I dislike.

11. Why smoking is bad.

12. My happiest moment.

13. My aspiration.

14. What I like about the BB uniform.

15. How the BB has changed me.


19/42



LESSONS FROM CHRISTIAN LEADERS

1. Definition of a leader

A leader is a person who has the capacity to lead others to a common goal/objective.

A good example is Moses, when he led the people of Israel out of Egypt (Exodus 13:14).

Another good example is Nehemiah, who gathered a demoralized and broken people torebuild the wall of Jerusalem (Nehemiah 2:17-18).

A leader is also a visionary, with the ability to see things ahead of time; that is visualizingthe future (Proverbs 29:18).

2. Becoming a leader

Some are born leaders Some earned their right to be a leader Some inherited the leadership Some are appointed leaders Some rose through the ranks Some are anointed by God, a good example is David (1 Samuel 16:10-13)

3. How does the world perceive leadership

Strength Physical built and size Power Force Divide and rule Deception

4. How does God perceive leadership

The Bible gives us examples where God looks at the heart of the man instead of theoutward appearance, e.g. 1 Samuel 16:7.

5. Developing leadership

The key word to leadership is to serve and not to be served (Mark 10:42-45) Growing and learning (Acts 20:32 and Proverbs 16:16) Humility (Proverbs 15:33, 22:4) Upright heart (Psalm 119:7-8) Accept responsibility and be responsible for ones action Compassion (Matthew 20:30-34)


20/42



6. Vision

A leader needs to have a vision of where the team is being led to.

Definition:Vision is the ability to see things as they really are and what things can become.

Why vision?

Vision gives us direction (Isaiah 6) Vision shape history Vision transforms character (Isaiah 6) Vision gives us the capacity to plan (Jeremiah 29:11)

7. Conclusion

Leadership is a lifelong learning process. It is also acquired through experiences, oneswillingness to learn and ones ability to be taught.

Above all it is ones submissive spirit to the authority that is the hallmark of leadership(Colossians 3:20, 22-24).


21/42



INSTRUCTIONAL TECHNIQUES

INTRODUCTION

As a leader, you often need to instruct or teach your Boys. Sometimes, it is as simple ascarrying chairs or tables. But what if it is to build a raft for a recruitment display? Your Boysmight even wonder what a raft is! Thus, you need to teach them before they can start. Withgood instructional techniques, your teaching or instruction will be more interesting, clear andeffective.

BASICS OF INSTRUCTING

1. Tell Them

This is the verbal part of teaching and it is known that trainees only retain about 10% of whatis being said. This is probably where you will fear most especially if you do not know themwell.

2. Show Them

At this point, you use visual aids or demonstrations to clarify what you have said. Thetrainees will understand you better, as a picture is worth a thousand words. Normally, theyretain about 10%-30% of the teaching.

3. Get Them To Do It

This is where the trainees retain about 70% of the teaching. You should get them to practiceand encourage them to ask questions. It is important that you check on them and correct anymistake before it becomes a habit to them.

PREPARING A LESSON

1. Set lesson objectives that you want to achieve at the end.

2. Know your trainees, their background and level of understanding.

3. Set priorities for your lesson topics. For example, there are things that you MUST TELL,SHOULD TELL and are GOOD TO TELL.

4. Prepare the lesson ground, sitting arrangement, teaching materials etc.

5. Rehearse your lesson and time yourself if possible.


22/42



TEACHING A LESSON

1. Set the atmosphere right. Put yourself and the trainees at ease.

Hi there! I am SGT James. Do you enjoy this camp so far?

2. Introduce the lesson objectives and outline, and the expectation from the trainees.

In the next 45 min, I will go through followed by

3. Confirm their level of understanding. You may need to adjust your lesson if it is differentfrom your expectation.

How many of you have drill stage 1 badge?

4. Stress the key points when you teach and avoid giving too much information.

Remember to, ONE - lift up your leg, TWO - drive it down hard

5. Signal the trainees whenever you go to the next topic so that your teaching and theirthoughts are at the same frequency.

Thats all about marching. Now, I will talkabout halting

6. Summarize your lesson and recapture the key points.

Today youve learned Remember to, ONE - lift up your leg, TWO

7. Encourage questions or ask them question if there is none. Share extra knowledge that ishelpful or interesting if time allows.

Do you know why our drill commands are in Malay?

GIVING A DEMONSTRATION

Position yourself so that everybody can see you. If possible, get a few demonstrators so

that you can concentrate on teaching.

Demonstrate at normal speed to give the trainees a run-through.

Demonstrate at slow speed, explain the key points, possible mistakes and allowquestions to be asked.

Use proper terms in your explanation.


23/42



PREPARING A TENT PITCHING LESSON

1. My LESSON OBJECTIVE is that the Boys can pitch a tent within 15min at the end of my lesson.

2. I KNOW they are mainly sec 2s with little camping experience. Thus,I should use simple words and teach at a slower pace.

3. I MUST TELL them how to use the tent poles, pegs and fly sheet. I

SHOULD TELL them how to choose a suitable ground to pitch atent. If I got time, it is GOOD TO TELL them how to keep a tentclean.

4. I will look for a soft ground, get 2 helpers and inspect the tentsbefore my lesson.

5. Am I sure of myself? If not, I betterREHEARSE first.


24/42



CONDUCTING THE PRACTICE

Check on the trainees and correct mistakes on the spot.

Identify the common/serious mistakes and caution the trainees about them before theypractice further.

End the practice by stressing on the key points or common/serious mistakes.

If necessary, conclude your lesson with a last demonstration. This will leave the traineeswith a correct mental picture before they leave.

PRACTICAL EXERCISES

Instruct on any of the following:

1. How to execute Attention and Stand At Ease.

2. How to put the metal runners into a haversack.

3. How to fold a paper plane.

4. How to do a push up.

5. How to polish a belt.

6. How to perform CPR (Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation).

7. How to fireman lift a person.

8. How to swim breast stroke.

9. How to treat muscle cramps.

10. How to give drill commands.

11. How to do a hand stand.

12. How to put a casualty in recovery position.


25/42

Pre Course Reading MaterialLeadership Development Course II Leadership the Practical Way

2 - 1Part 2 Reading Material From LDC II

PART 2 READING MATERIAL FROM LDC II

ROLES OF AN NCO

1. ROLE OF NCOs IN THE SQUAD

a. Teach & lead younger Boys in the squad

While the BB officers will conduct Target Badge Classes for new Boys, such classesmay not fully equip members with all the necessary skills and knowledge to fit into thecompany. For instance, NCOs can also assist in publicising company programmes orteaching Boys to put on the BB uniform correctly or polishing boots.

b. Good role model for younger Boys to follow

Besides passing on skills, the essential responsibility of NCOs is to be good rolemodels for younger Boys to follow. Younger Boys tend to mimic or imitate their olderschool mates. If NCOs in the company practise good habits of Obedience,Reverence, Discipline, Self-respect and Christian manliness, the younger Boys willsurely follow.

Sadly, the reverse is also true i.e. if NCOs pick up bad habits, Boys will also follow.Therefore, the responsibility of NCOs in the company is indeed very heavy and shouldnot be taken lightly.

c. Help improve communication between officers and Boys

NCOs, though a little older, are from the same age group as Boys in the company,which makes communication much easier because young people understand thesame lingo and share similar priorities. This makes NCOs most useful in bridging thecommunication gap between adult officers and younger Boys.

d. Looking into the welfare of the squad Boys

Young people, especially those in their teens, find it easier to confide in their friendsthan with parents or adults. As such, NCOs again become the eyes and ears of the

BB officers, offering a listening ear to BB Boys. Boys with problems can be referred tothe officers for assistance.

2. ROLE OF NCOs IN THE COMPANY

a. Assist officers in running company activities and awards classes

Running a BB company is a heavy responsibility and officers usually engage the helpof NCOs. For instance, a company camp requires much logistical planning and NCOscan take various responsibilities or appointments (e.g. CSM, logistics officer, messingofficer, games leader) to ensure the camp is run properly.

And depending on ability and proficiency, NCOs may also assist officers in conductingsimple Awards classes. Tests, however, will still be carried out by the officers.


26/42



b. Manage a squad of Boys

The strength of BB companies can range from a small group of 30 to a large group of200 Boys. To better manage the company, members are usually assigned to squads

and/or platoons. In a squad, the squad leader is in charge and he is responsible forthe well-being of all his Boys, be it at a company parade or at camp or at a schoolactivity. Squad leaders are expected to keep his Boys informed of all companyprogrammes and encourage him to be regular at all company parades.

c. Company Appointments

To help run a BB company more efficiently, the captain usually assigns some seniorNCOs to assume company responsibilities which may be permanent or rotational,e.g.:

i. Quarter Master

ii CSM or RSMiii. Squad Leader / Games Leaderiv. Song Leader rv. Awards NCO

3. ROLE OF NCOs IN THE BRIGADE

a. Assist in Brigade courses

The Brigade Office regularly conducts courses for Boys and they always requireNCOs to assist, especially since the number of Boys at Brigade level courses isalways very large. An example would be the Leadership Development Course II.

b. Assist in Brigade events

Annually, the Brigade Office organises the following events which require muchmanpower and assistance for its successful execution:

i. BB Adventure Questii. BB CARESiii Sharity Gift Box

c. Assume Brigade appointments such as

i. Assistant Trainersii. RSM or CSMiii. Logistics Officeriv. Activity Leaders

d. Help promote the public image of The Boys Brigade

The Boys Brigade may be the oldest unformed youth organisation in the world, but

we are certainly not the largest in membership. Every BB Boy has a responsibility tohelp promote the public image of The Boys Brigade through good behaviour at home,in school, in church and at the work place (when you start working as an adult). At


27/42



home, members should be obedient and grateful to parents; in school, you should beobedient and respectful to your teachers; and when you start to work as an adult, youshould show commitment and dedication to your profession.

At every opportunity, Boys should also proudly put on the BB uniform so that The

Boys Brigade can be publicly visible.


28/42





WHAT TO DO IN A CRISIS SITUATION

1. WHAT IS A CRISIS?A crisis is defined as a point in time of great danger, difficulty oruncertainty. And time is usually of the essence. For example, in a car accident, thepriority is to safely remove the victim and immediately evacuate him or her to thenearest hospital.

2. WHAT HAPPENS IN A CRISIS?In a crisis, the following situation usually arises:

a. There is mass confusion; no one knows what really happened but knowssomething did happen.

b. There is a loss of direction which leads to panic.

c. No clear leader is in control of the situation.

d. Or everybody has something to say.

e. Time is ticking away and, depending on the severity of the crisis, it could meanlife or death for the victims.

3. WHAT SHOULD WE DO IN A CRISIS?Because time is usually the most important consideration, an autocratic style ofleadership has to be applied. A crisis is probably the only situation when an autocraticstyle of leadership should be applied. The most available able-bodied person shouldtake control of the situation and put the following into action:

a. Assess situation and find out what really happened. Gather information byasking.

b. Assess the priorities of the situation e.g.i. victims are drowning - rescue immediately.ii. victims losing blood - stop bleeding and send to hospital immediately.

4. GENERAL PRINCIPLES TO CONSIDER OR STEPS TO TAKE

a. Calm people down and find out exactly what happened.

b. Attend to victims, if any.

c. Apply First Aid following the 3 basic principles:i. Re-assure - calm and re-assure victimii. Immobilise - stop bleeding or immobilise fractureiii. Evacuate - evacuate immediately to hospital

d. Call for immediate medical attention or evacuate to nearest hospital.


29/42





LEADERSHIP

Definition of a Leader

A Leader is a person who is in a position to organise and direct a group towards theachievement of a given goal.

It was believed in the old days that Leaders are born, coming from the same lineage; suchas royalty and that they possess certain inborn qualities of leadership. Some of these

qualities are piety, honesty, courage, perseverance, intelligence, reliability, and imagination.

A more recent belief is that leadership need not be a birthright, as the same leadershipqualities can be found in many people who are not of leaders lineage. Moreover, it isfound that leadership also requires a competency in certain functions or skills, which can beacquired through a process of learning and training. Even those who appeared to beendowed with leadership traits or qualities acquire thesethrough a learning process. A person may be moreintelligent and gifted by birth, but it would be wrong to saythat he is born honest, courageous, persevering, reliableand imaginative.

The Learning Process

There are two areas of learning for LeadershipDevelopment:

Recognise the qualities and traits of Leaders Acquire the functional skills of Leadership


30/42



Qualities & Traits of Leaders

To recognise the qualities and traits of Leaders we will discuss two main issues:- Leadership styles- Traits of a Leader

Leadership Styles

All kinds of terms have been used to describe ways in which leaders lead - authoritative,autocratic, bureaucratic, dictatorial, democratic, charismatic, consultative, laissez-faire,permissive, objective, paternalistic, participative.

These styles range from the simple to the complex. We will focus on three basis but distinctstyles:

1. The Autocratic Style: An autocratic leader centralises power and decision making to

himself and exercises direct control over the way things are done. He takes full authorityand assumes full responsibilities. While this style of leadership permits quick decision-making, it can best be practiced by a leader recognised for his experience andcompetency. Otherwise he can create frustration among his followers and conflictbetween him and his followers may develop easily.

2. The Democratic Style: In this style of leadership, the leader involves his group in thedecision-making process. He brings his group into his problems. Final authority onmatters of importance, however, continues to reside in the hands of the leader. Manyconsider this as the best style because the followers involvement in planning creates asense of common mission. However, this style also has it drawbacks - in that thedecision-making process takes a longer time and may be complicated; with too large agroup of followers, unless participation is limited to another level of leaders between theleader and the subordinates.

3. The Laissez-Faire Style: The Leader who practices this style will delegate authority fordecision-making into the hands of his followers. He may even delegate his ownresponsibility to get the job done. The leader in effect says to his followers, Heres a jobto do. I dont care how you do it as long as it gets done satisfactorily. Otherwise, you lotwill answer to the boss. ThelLeader depends on the group to establish their own goalsand work out their own problems. Obviously, the subordinates have to be highly qualified

and capable. The disadvantages are that it fails to give the group the advantage of aleader-inspired motivation. It exposes the group to the possibility of working at cross-purpose and can degenerate to chaos.

Choice of Leadership Style

No set of leadership traits and leadership style has been found to be universally applicable.Various factors influence the choice of a style and a leader should consider three factorsbefore choosing a Leadership style:

1. First Factor - The Leader. This will include his values, the confidence in hissubordinates, his inclinations towards one of the other style of Leadership and hisfeelings of security in an uncertain situation.


31/42



His value system is important because it will influence the degree to which he feels hissubordinates should share in the decision-making process. It also influences the amountof responsibility he feels he can delegate to them. Similarly, his confidence in hissubordinates will influence the amount of responsibility he thinks they can assume.

For example:A Leader who strongly values personal freedom may allow subordinates agreat deal of independence in carrying out their jobs. On the other hand, a leader whobelieves the needs of the individual must come second to the needs of the organizationmay take a much more directive role in his subordinates activities.

His own leadership inclinations are also important because some people are naturallymore people-oriented and others more task-oriented. His feeling of security in anuncertain situation is also important since the outcome of a job usually becomes moreuncertain whenever he delegates responsibility and decision-making to subordinates.

2. Second Factor - The Subordinates: The characteristics of subordinates must also beconsidered before a leader can choose an appropriate leadership style. A leader canallow greater participation and freedom under the following conditions:

a. When the subordinates want independence and freedom of action.b. When they want to have decision-making responsibility.c. When they identify with the organizations goals.d. When they are knowledgeable and experienced enough to deal with the problem

effectively.e. When their experience with previous leaders lead them to expect participative

leadership.

When these conditions are missing, leaders may have to lean towards authoritarianstyle.

3. Third Factor - The Situation: Finally, the Leader must consider the mission,understand the resources and limitations, such as the pressure of time and even theenvironmental conditions, which may affect the subordinates attitude towards authority.

Most leaders, for example, will move toward one of the other leadership style in line with

the type of behavior liked by his top leadership.

The specific work group will also affect the choice of style. A group that works welltogether may respond more to a free and open atmosphere. The same holds true for agroup confident of its ability to solve problems together. But if the work group is too largeor too widely distributed geographically, a democratic (participative) style may be difficultto use.

In ConclusionThe particular leadership style a leader uses is not as important as the situation. The most

effectivelLeader is not autocratic or democratic but flexible - able to select a style that iscomfortable for them and suitable for the situation they are facing.


32/42





TRAITS OF A LEADER

This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Woe to the shepherds of Israel who only take care ofthemselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock? You eat the curds, clotheyourselves with the wool and slaughter the choice animals, but you do not take care of theflock. You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. Youhave not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly andbrutally. So they were scattered because there was no shepherd... (Ezekiel 34:2-5)

When a study of the personalities of a group of successful leaders was conducted some

time ago, fourteen traits were identified as common to the group. Possession of these traitsby itself does not guarantee success, but apparently they are most desirable in all leaders.The traits are:

1. BEARINGA mans bearing is his general appearance, carriage deportment and conduct. The bearingof the Leader establishes the standard that affects subordinates, peers and superiors. Hiscarriage should be upright, general appearance and condition of his clothing and equipmentexemplary. His appearance and manner should reflect alertness, energy, competence andconfidence. Through the control of voice and gestures he can exert firm and steadyinginfluence over those around him.

2. COURAGECourage is a mental quality that recognizes fear of danger or criticism, but enables a man toproceed in the face of it with calmness and firmness. It is a quality of mind that gives a mancontrol over fear, enabling him to accept responsibility and act properly in a threateningsituation.

Courage exists in a moral as well as physical sense. Moral courage means knowing andstanding up for what is right in the face of popular disfavor. A leader who has moral couragewill admit his errors, but will enforce his decisions when he is sure he is correct.

To help attain and demonstrate courage and control his fear by developing self-disciplineand calmness, he must be orderly in his thought process and take care not to exaggerateadversity. He must stand for what is right in the face of popular disagreement and acceptblame when he is at fault.

3. DECISIVENESSThe leader should be able to make decisions promptly and to state them in a clear, forcefulmanner. Many situations have more than one solution. The wise leader gets all the facts,weighs one against the other, and then calmly and quickly arrives at a sound decision.Decisiveness is largely a matter of practice and experience. The leader should also keep in

mind that many sound ideas originate at the subordinates level. He should solicit theopinions of his subordinates when appropriate. A positive approach, little waste of time,


33/42



objectivity, timely analysis and sound opinions made by others, all contribute to thedevelopment of decisiveness in the leader.

4. DEPENDABILITYDependability, the certainty of proper performance of duty, is a quality the Leader must

develop. A dependable Leader can be relied upon to carry out any activity with willing effort.This willing and voluntary support of the policies and orders of the chain of command doesnot mean blind obedience. Most leaders will listen to the suggestions of their subordinates,but once the leader makes the final decision, the subordinates must give it his complete andenergetic support.

5. ENDURANCEEndurance, the mental and physical stamina measured by the ability to withstand pain,fatigue, stress and hardship is akin to courage. The leaders lack of endurance makes him aliability rather than the asset he should be. The leader sets the standards for the squad mosteffectively by example and he must display a superior level of endurance.

6. ENTHUSIASMEnthusiasm is the display of sincere interest and zeal in the performance of duties. Thisrequires the leader to be optimistic and cheerful. The leader must therefore willingly acceptthe challenges of his work and determine to do the best job possible. This attitude, whendeveloped, helps create a good company.

7. INITIATIVEInitiative, or taking action in the absence of orders, is often required of leaders. Followersdevelop respect and trust for a leader who meets new and unexpected situations with

prompt action. One way to encourage initiative in man is to assign them tasks thatcommensurate with their qualifications and experience level. This method frees the leaderfrom a number of details so that he can devote more time to monitoring the activities forwhich he is responsible. Closely associated with initiative is resourcefulness, the ability todeal with a situation in the absence of normal resources or methods.

8. INTEGRITYThe uprightness and soundness of moral principles, the quality of truthfulness and honestydescribe integrity. Leaders must have unquestionable integrity. Reports from the SquadLeaders to the highest levels must contain true facts because the seemingly unimportantreport might greatly affect sound planning.

9. TACTTact is the ability to deal with others in a respectful manner. The leader who displays tact indealing with superiors and subordinates encourages courteous treatment in return. Usuallythis practice is not difficult. However under conditions of stress or when delivering criticism tosubordinates, the use of tact becomes more challenging. To demand courtesy and to fail toreturn it indicates lack of respect. The inexperienced leader sometimes feels politenessimplies softness. Unfortunately, some men wrongly consider courtesy to a superior asbootlicking. Usually a calm, courteous, firm approach will bring cooperative responsewithout creating ill feeling. Abrupt and forceful orders may be desirable in emergenciesbecause of time saved and the seriousness of the situation. There are other situations that

require forcefulness of tone and action, but even then there is no reason for discourtesy.


34/42



10. UNSELFISHNESSThe unselfish leader is one who avoids providing for his own comfort and personaladvancement at the expense of others. The comfort, pleasure and recreation ofsubordinates should be placed before that of leaders. It is difficult to respect a leader whoseeks his own comfort over that of his subordinates or who hoards credit for achievement

made possible by subordinates. The true leader places himself last in priority and shares thedangers and hardships with others.


35/42





FUNCTIONAL SKILLS OF LEADERSHIP

"David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he ledthem Psalm 78:72

The second area of leadership learning is the skills that will make a leader functioncompetently. Skills, unlike the qualities and traits of a leader are much easier learnt andmastered through constant practice. The following are the never-ending cycle of a leader'swork. Some call it the role and function of leadership, yet others may call it theresponsibilities of leadership. Regardless of the title, it means the same:

1. PlanningRegardless of the level of leadership, planning will be the first task of the leader. Take thebuilding of a house to illustrate the importance of this function; the builder will not evencommence laying the first foundation stone unless the planning for the building of ahouse is completed. Remember that the time spent on planning will always save youvaluable time in meeting any objectives. Planning involves the following stages:

A. Understanding the Mission. Unless the mission is clearly understood, you may bebarking up the wrong tree. The mission given to a leader may not be straightforward; hereare two examples to illustrate this:

Example-1:You are instructed by the Company Captain to organize a hike for the Boys during theDecember holidays - is it to appreciate nature???

Example-2:You have been appointed to take charge of the Boys for the Musketry course - are youalso responsible for publicizing the course, pre-qualifying, communicating with the courseconvener and making the arrangement to collect the badges after the course?

To understand the mission, you can ask your superior, study the situation or fall back onyour knowledge of the subject matter. Most often, it is a combination of all three.

B. Study your Resources and Limitations. This is directly related to your mission. Firstly,make a list of all resources and limitations. Then, against each resource or limitation,write your conclusion.

Eg. Rope, 1" diameter - main support cable (this is provided you know from your missionthat you need to support something or someone)

Sometimes, you may not have any conclusion at this stage and the conclusion will onlycome about later in the process of planning.

Examples of resources: manpower, time, materials, manuals, and natural resources.Examples of limitations: manpower, time, obstacles, casualties, and inexperience.


36/42



C. Be Creative. The third step in planning requires you to visualize how you canaccomplish your mission in stages using the resources and within the limitations. The keyto this is 'mission in stages', you can only eat an elephant a bite at a time.

2. Organizing.The second functional skill. This is when you crystalise your plan by grouping people,briefing and rehearsing them to handle all the tasks that when completed will mean theaccomplishment of the mission:

A. Sub-grouping to tackle sub-tasks. You have identified the stages or sub-tasks in yourplanning stage. Now re-group your manpower and materials resources according to theirskills and capabilities to tackle each sub-task. Do appoint a leader for each group.

B. Briefing. Depending on the size of the whole group, the leader may either briefeveryone ideally, or the briefing is only given to the leaders of the subgroups. The briefing

is to ensure that everyone can identify with the overall mission and their part in the sub-groups. Set timings for each sub-tasks completion.

C. Rehearsal. On a higher scale of organization, this is known as staffing and it meansensuring that people designated for each tasks knows exactly what to do. E.g., spendingsome time teaching and practicing knots tying before commencing on their task of lashinga rope to a tree over at the other side of a river. If this rehearsal is not carried out, theleader and rest of his team may be wondering if the rope is secured enough to carry theirweight.

3. Supervising.This is the third and last functional skill. It is sometimes referred to as 'controlling'because its function is to do just that - controlling all the activities to ensure that they arecarried out according to the plan. In supervising, the leader has to:

A. Co-ordinate. To ensure firstly, simultaneous activity and secondly, connectedactivities. Simultaneous so that every group is working at the same time. Connected, sothat no sub tasks are delayed because of another group's tasks.

B. Evaluate. In evaluating, the leader does three other things: check timing, anticipateproblems and show appreciation. Keep a track of time taken to complete each sub-task

and evaluate as to how it will affect your overall timing. The leader may have to makesome changes to distribution of manpower if he finds that time is insufficient to completetasking.

C. Anticipate. Anticipating problems also mean making corrections. Most times, it isbetter to re-do a sub task all over again if it is not correctly done than to wait until thatparticular sub tasks has been connected to another task.

D. Appreciation. The leader also has to show appreciation when things are correctlydone. This raises morale, and leaves no doubt to the group that the work they are doingis correct.


37/42





PLANNING & ORGANISING

IntroductionThe following three functional skills of planning, organising andsupervising are on-going tasks for the leader. It is necessary duringthe early stages of the leaders learning process to consciously takeeach step at a time to plan, to organise and to supervise.

Failing to plan is planning to fail. As leaders, you will be called upon to organise and executeactivities. This is a simple point-by-point guide on how to plan.

1. INTRODUCTION

Planning requires us to

put our ideas and thoughts on paper decide on the best route to achieve our objective project possible hitches and problems and pre-solving the expected problems

The steps in planning can be summarised as follows:

a. What is yourAIM?

b. Set up yourOBJECTIVES (or mini-aims) to achieve your Aim

c. Identify yourRESOURCES and LIMITATIONS

d. ORGANISE & DELEGATE the different tasks to be completed giving jobscope, deadlines and names of persons in-charge

e. BRIEF all concerned on your plans

f. CONTROL the execution by calling for regular update meetings to ascertainthe following:

i. If things are going as planned and on scheduleii. If things are not going as planned, you may want to re-assign resources

or make modifications to your proposed plans. But the objective muststill be achieved.

g. EVALUATION at the end of each exercise helps us to learn from our mistakesand successes.


38/42



2. DETAILS TO CONSIDER IN PLANNING

We will assume we are planning for a company camp. The following (though notexhaustive) is what we have to consider when we plan for it:

STEP ONE - State yourAIM / OBJECTIVE

To plan a 3-day company camp for 25 Boys on Seletar Island.

STEP TWO - Break down your Objective into MINI-GOALS orMINI-OBJECTIVES

1. Camp programme & activities2. Camp logistics (tents, cooking, games)3. Transport to Seletar Island (how to get there?)4. Food (menu, shopping)

5. Venue (recce, layout)

STEP THREE - State yourRESOURCES & LIMITATIONS

RESOURCES

1. Raft x 12. Double kayaks x 63. Single kayaks x 24. 25 Boys

5. See logistics list (provided by trainers)

LIMITATIONS

1. Food budget S$50.002. Deadlines: Leave BB Campsite by 1300 hrs

Arrive at Seletar Island by 1600 hrs3. ...?

STEP FOUR -ORGANISE & DELEGATE

Committee Duties DeadlineRaft - Draw raft equipment 1200 hrs

- Build raft

Food - Plan menu 1100 hrs- Buy and prepare food- Prepare jerry cans with water- Get cooking equipment from Log IC

Logistics - Draw out equipment 1100 hrs- Prepare logistic list

- Organise stores for transport


39/42



Committee Duties DeadlineCSM - Gather company for moving out 1230 hrs

- Conduct briefing- Prepare nominal roll- Assign Boys to kayaks and raft

Recce - Recce campsite at Seletar Island 1000 hrs- Plan & draw layout of campsite at

Seletar Island- Set up signage- Lead company to campsite at Seletar

Island- Assume kayak IC Role & safety role

Programme - Plan camp programme 0930 hrs- Plan camp activities

STEP FIVE -BRIEFING

The CSM will conduct a briefing for the whole company to explain theplans, assign the various ICs and issue the relevant deadlines. Thescope of the briefing should cover the following:

a. Camp programmeb. Camp menuc. Delegation of duties and responsibilitiesd. Setting of deadlinese. Establishing control by assigning authority; appointment of

committee ICsf. Setting up of update meetings

STEP SIX - CONTROL

Do not assume everything will operate like clock-work. The CSM shouldcall for regular update meetings to find out from the various ICs orsquad leaders how things are getting along. You may need to re-assignresources, like manpower, especially when some groups finish their

tasks early.

STEP SEVEN- EVALUATION

At the end of it all, it is good to measure what you have done againstwhat you planned. Have you met your aim and objectives? Did anythinggo wrong? What can we learn from the mistakes? But more importantly,were there any successes? And was due praise given to the peopleresponsible?


40/42


3 - 1Part 3 Social Etiquette



PART 3 SOCIAL ETIQUETTE

Etiquette at HOME & in SCHOOL

What is etiquette?

Webster defines it as "the forms, manners, and ceremonies established by convention asacceptable or required in social relations, in a profession, or in official life."

"Manners easily and rapidly mature into morals."-- Horace Mann

A well-mannered person will ignore the errors of others and will maintain his/her composureno matter the challenge.

A gentleman does not lose control of his temper. In fact, in his own self-control under difficultor dangerous circumstances, lies his chief ascendancy over others who impulsively betrayevery emotion which animates them. Exhibitions of anger, fear, hatred, are all bad form inpublic.

How to Apologize

You are responsible for how your actions affect other people. We are not perfect, andsometimes we make mistakes. Therefore, there will be many times when we must apologize.A poor apology will only make a bad situation worse, but a good apology will defuse everybomb.

Hurt or angry people are not in a rational state, so trying to explain why the other personshould not feel hurt or angry will not be effective. You will also fail if you try to explain to the

other person why he/she ought not feel the way he/she feels.

Paradoxically, it is hardest to apologize to the people who are most important to us. I thinkthat is because an apology makes us vulnerable to rejection. To apologize is to admit thatwe are not as perfect as we think we are, and we live in dread that our loved ones willdiscover our imperfections and leave us. Admitting our mistakes is how we learn to loveourselves and to love other, equally imperfect humans. The clich To err is human; toforgive divine is often invoked when someone wants to avoid responsibility for theirmistakes. Dont be that kind of person. Be the kind of person who seeks forgiveness so you can know the divine.


41/42


3 - 2Part 3 Social Etiquette

A proper apology is direct, sincere and simple:

1) Apologize in person. If thats not possible, handwrite a short note. Do not type theapology. Do not send e-mail, do not buy an Im sorry card, do not leave a voice messageon an answering machine.

2) Apologize with true regret. If you believe you did nothing wrong but someone has beenhurt by your actions, be sincerely regretful about the persons pain. Ignore your goodintensions and focus on the unintended consequence.

3) Apologize with a simple message. This is not the time for fancy vocabulary or fancysentence structure. Get immediately to the point: a good opening is Im sorry . . . followedby a short description of what youre sorry about, acknowledge the other persons feelings,and close with an offer to do whatever is needed to heal the pain you caused.

Etiquette in front of the opposite gender

Looks and money will only get you thus far, but good manners and some chivalrywill have a woman wanting to be with you for the right reasons.

Here are the top five peeves many women have about a guy's manners in public.1. Talking on the mobile phone for more than a minute during a date2. Talking with your mouth full

3. Picking at facial orifices or making bodily noises4. Not opening doors for them5. Failure to pull out the chair

Etiquette at dinner

"Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without comment is a wonderful social grace."-- Judith Martin

1. On your right are knives, spoons and the liquid containers (your glasses)On your left are the fork, napkin, and the solids (your bread plate)

Each course has its own utensils, but they will be set in the order in which youll usethem. Therefore, always use the outer utensil when youre served the next course.You dont need to know what a fish fork looks like all you need to know is that whenthe fish is served, the proper fork will be the one thats the outermost one on your left.If youre still not sure what to do with a dish, wait and watch what your hostess does. Some foods are properly eaten with your fingers (like artichoke hearts), but when in

doubt, use a utensil.


42/42


Your napkin stays on your lap while you eat. It is returned to the table only at theconclusion of the meal when everyone is finished not when youre finished. If youtemporarily leave the table before the dinner is over, put your napkin on your chair. Atthe end of the meal, fold your napkin and put it to the left of your plate never put iton your plate.

Your knife and fork are the significant utensils because they signal when youreresting between courses and when youre finished. To indicate that youre not finishedeating but only taking a rest; make an X over your plate by placing the fork on theleft and the knife on the right. To indicate that youre finished, place the knife and forktogether in a diagonal with the lower side on the right and the higher side at 11oclock.

2. Always cut your food into bite size before consuming, never share butter or breadspread with others if you are given individual portion of these (dont think you aredoing the hostess a favour by saving the bread spread).

3. Right side is always the dominant side, hence food is served on the right side andcleared on the left.

4. Never place used items (serviettes, utensils or even your elbow) on the table. Alwaysrest your used utensils on your plate.

"There is no beautifier of complexion, or form, or behavior, like the wish to scatter joy and notpain around us. 'Tis good to give a stranger a meal, or a night's lodging. 'Tis better to be

hospitable to his good meaning and thought, and give courage to a companion. We must beas courteous to a man as we are to a picture, which we are willing to give the advantage of agood light."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson
http://www.rwe.org/http://www.rwe.org/http://www.rwe.org/http://www.rwe.org/

leadership training - the boys' brigade singapore

Documents