lies liars

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How To DetectLies & Liars

How to protect yourself from criminals

who lie to hurt, cheat or deceive.

Not all liars are dangerous

but all dangerous people lie

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How To Detect Lies & Liars

Copyright 2003-2008 Delta Media, LLC - www.LiesLiars.com

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Can you tell when someone is telling a lie?

Or, maybe the more appropriate question

should be: Can you tell when someone is

telling the truth? In a world full of untruths, does

anybody really tell the truth anymore?

What we are most concerned with, for purposes of

this report, are the lies that, unchecked, would have

a disasterous effect on the person to whom they are

told. It may be in the form of being physically hurt,

even killed. Or nancial losses that may result from

identify theft, forgery or fraud. And the mental or

emotional damage that comes with the loss of trust

in people.

Not all liars are dangerous people, but dangerous

people always lie.

What is a lie?

Websters Dictionary denes lie (noun), as an

assertion of something known or believed by the

speaker to be untrue with intent to deceive; as a

verb, it is to make an untrue statement with intent

to deceive. Lies are the diluting, rerouting and

rearranging of bits and pieces of language into a

form of verbal evasion intended for deception,

distortion, or denial of the truth.

Lies may be typed into two general categories:

lies of commission and lies of omission. Lies of

commission are deliberate misstatements of facts;

fabrications out of perhaps, a small grain of truth;

statements based on nothing at all, except that the

speaker wants to deceive. They can also be out and

out denials of the truth. Lies of omission are those,

which the speaker doesnt say, as opposed to what

they say. However, the intent to deceive is present.

Sometimes, even silence can be an eloquent lie of

omission, when the speaker chooses to hide thetruth by not saying anything at all.

Max, a sales rep for a large paper company, had

been trying to land a new printing company account

for months. Hed made numerous sales calls and

follow-ups, and as far as he was concerned, his hard

work was going to pay off. Indications were that he

would soon get his rst order from the company.

Thats why, at the weekly sales meeting, he was

shocked to hear another sales rep, Lisa, announce

that she had landed the account and had written

her rst order for them. Max immediately spoke

up and told her hed been working on getting that

account for months. She had replied that she had

been completely unaware of that, and that she toohad been calling on the printer and had nally

gotten a break.

The sales manager told Lisa that he did know Max

had been calling on the company for some time

and that he had never heard her talk about it. To

this, Lisa simply repeated that she had, in fact

been calling on the company for a long time too

Sometimes, even silence can be an eloquent lie o omission

when the speaker chooses to hide the truth by not saying any-

thing at all.

Because they were such a large printer and could

represent a huge amount of business, she hadntwanted to say anything until she knew for sure she

had the account. Max was sure Lisa was lying but

at the moment, didnt know how to deal with it.

Max left work early that day. There was a trade

group meeting that night and he normally attended

but after the days disappointment, he wasnt in the

mood for it. On the way home, he stopped by an

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electronics store because his organizer had given

out and he needed a new one. He wanted the exact

same brand and model and, when he couldnt nd

it, he asked a sales clerk. Without looking, the

sales clerk told him that they were all out. When

Max suggested they might have some in the stock

room, the sales clerk emphatically repeated thatthey didnt have any, then added they would be

receiving more in a couple of days. He told Max

he would be happy to call him when they came in

and took his phone number.

When Max arrived home

the house was dark and his

wife, Jennie, was gone. He

went for a short bike ride

and then took a shower. He

was in the kitchen lookingfor something to eat when

Jennie walked in. She was

surprised to see him and said

that she thought he had his

monthly meeting that night.

Max told her about his day

and why he wasnt at the

meeting. She was wearing

a summer dress and had

her hair xed. He told hershe looked nice and asked

where she had been all

dressed up. She replied

that she had been visiting

her friend, Linda. Theyd

had a late lunch together

and then just started talking

and the time got away from

them. After the day hed

had, Max couldnt help butfeel suspicious.

Max has been lied to. More than once during the day,

someone has not told him the truth. Its important

for Max to be able to know who was lying to him.

Without exception, in every instance where he lets

the lie go or believes it, there will be a negative

impact on his life. Conversely, not knowing that

he hasnt been lied to will also produce a negative

consequence. He can do nothing but benet from

knowing whos lying and whos telling the truth

So, who was lying to Max? How can you tell?

Why do people lie?

Self-preservation is a primary motivation for most

lies. People lie to cover up or deny something they

did, or are about to do, which they know is wrong

The fact is we are taught to

lie at an early age

We learned, as children, that

people tell lies without s

much as blinking an eye

We also learned how tofabricate them ourselves

but it was alright becaus

we were being creative and

imaginative. We found out

that sometimes it was good

to tell a lie, and sometimes

not. But where were we

supposed to draw the line?

And how did we know when

we had crossed it?

Mom is dead tired after a

very long day at her job in

the supermarket. She tells

little Joey, If uncle Tim

calls, tell him Im not home.

So, when Uncle Tim calls

and little Joey tells him that

mommy isnt home, is that

acceptable? Mommy had

asked him to lie, and for a good reason. Is this justa little lie that doesnt do anybody any harm, or, is

it another lesson-learned for Joey that he could use

later in life?

We could go on and on with examples like these

til kingdom come and never want for more. The

truth that we must face is this: we are a society of

liars, raised in a culture of lies. There are white lies

Self-

preservation

is a primary

motivation

for most lies.

We live andbreathe lies

every moment

of the day.

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half lies, subtle lies, blatant lies, lies to make us

feel good, lies to make us feel bad. There are lies

designed to offend, lies designed to defend, lies

told to us, and lies told by us.

We live and breathe lies every moment of the day.

We are bombarded with them everywhere we turn.

The media will take a small grain of truth and blow

it up so cleverly that we believe them enough to

shell out hard-earned dollars. Can we, as a social

group of gullible human beings expect people not

to lie? The answer is: we cant and we dont. The

best thing we could hope for is to be able to tell

when people are lying to us.

As we mature, we develop a benet versus

consequences scale. The decision whether to lie

or not is based upon the individuals assessment ofwhether the benets of telling the truth outweigh

the consequences that will result from telling a lie.

The fear of consequences typically falls into one or

more of these areas:

1. Fear of loss of esteem.

2. Fear of prosecution or punishment.

3. Fear of embarrassment.

4. Fear of restitution.

5. Fear for their own physical safety.

People also lie out of embarrassment. They may

be ashamed of some condition or predicament in

their life, so when asked about it, they lie. And

nally, people do actually lie out of kindness or to

be polite. When most people are asked how they

are, they answer ne or good, even though

the truth may be far from that. When a wife asks

her husband if he likes her new dress and he says

great even though he hates it. Even though these

are lies in an absolute sense, theyre considered

acceptable because they do no real harm to the

person they are told to. They are lies designed to

keep the peace.

Why do criminals or other types of dangerous

people lie?

Quite simply, criminals lie because they have

something to hide, either because of what they have

already done, or what they are about to do. Lying

may also be used to lull an innocent person into

a false sense of security, rst, before the criminal

acts. With careful use of language a liar can distract

your attention away from his real intentions.

A person is a danger to society when his sense of

right and wrong is askew. It makes no difference

whether the person is a murderer, armed robber

child molester, or simply a troublemaker. He

believes and lives by different rules from your

and mine. Often, his sense of who he is, is dened

by the hateful things that he does. Some expert

are convinced that some people are born with

the inherent tendency to criminal behavior. But

whatever the reasons, dangerous people do lie.

Spotting lies can be a valuable early warning

signal to us that trouble may be brewing. For mos

people, even experienced criminals, lying can be

uncomfortable or difcult, so they will often tel

a partial truth. Theyd rather lie by omission, not

commission.

Manipulating words to deceive.

There were rumors circulating that singer WhitneyHouston and her husband were using illegal drugs

When she was asked by a reporter if it was true

she got angry and said, I am not a drug addict

If I were an addict it would adversely affect my

performance on stage. Therefore, as you can see

I am not a drug addict. The point here is that she

was not accused of being a drug addict, only of the

occasional recreational use of an illegal substance

She got angry, over-reacted and did not answer the

real question.

All things being equal, most people would really

rather tell the truth, and if they must lie, they will

disguise the lies with carefully evasive words, or

just plain outright fabrications.

For better or worse, we live in a world of deception

There are as many motives to lie, as there are lies in

the world. And like it or not, at times youre going

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to be lied to; that much is a certainty.

If lies had no effect on your life, it probably wouldnt

matter whether or not you knew if someone was

lying to you. However, this is not the case. Just like

Max, every time we are deceived, regardless of the

nature of the deception, we are losing something.

Our happiness, effectiveness and success, in

business and in our personal lives, are determined

by the decisions we make. We all make decisions

about what actions to take and when and how to

we stand to lose a great deal when we constantly

make bad decisions.

Not being able to tell when someone is lying to

you, and not being able to nd out what the truth is

can cost us nancially, career-wise, even our lives

We cant overlook the safety risks associated with being lied to. While such risks may be indirec

or rare, they are there. There are more dangerous

criminals on the streets today than ever before.

You may be working alongside them, interviewing

them for a job or hiring them to work on your

house and not even know it. For this reason alone

its worth remembering that, Not all liars are

criminals, but all criminals will lie to you. It pays

to be able to tell what the truth is.

In the business world we know that approximately

7% of all job applicants have a criminal record and

the majority of them lie about it. About 8% give

a phony Social Security number to conceal their

true identity, about 17% have led a fraudulent

workmens compensation claim, and over 30% lie

about their education or prior employment.

By comparison business people get off easy. Kids

lie to their parents. Parents lie to their kids. Adults

lie to each other. Now not all lies are harmful. A

husband who tells his wife how great she looks in

that new dress (when he doesnt really like it) is no

being a bad person. Hes just trying to make hi

wife feel good about herself. But those are not the

type of lies we are going to discuss in this report.

For most people, being able to detect lies and

get to the truth has more practical applications

in everyday life. The rst rule is when it comes

to detecting lies and uncovering the truth, thereare no ironclad rules. Due to the complexity of

human relationships, cultural differences, persona

characteristics no one factor will determine whether

or not a person is lying.

Early detection

As with many areas of life, when dealing with liars

the best offense is a good defense. You can save

Not being able to tell when someone is lying to you, and not

being able to fnd out what the truth is can cost us fnancially,

career-wise, even our lives.

take them, based on information. The decisions

we make are only as good as the information we

base them on. Sometimes our information comes

from impersonal sources such as reports, books orthe media, but often times it comes from personal

contact with friends, family and colleagues.

If someone lies to us and we believe him and make

a decision or take an action based on believing what

they have told us, we are going to be making a bad

decision. And while it is true that many decisions

have relatively minor consequences, cumulatively

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yourself a lot of aggravation by determining early

on who is most likely to be dishonest with you.

This amounts to being able to read people and is

not as difcult or mysterious as it may seem. It is a

skill that can be learned and becomes sharper when

practiced consistently.

Weve all had bad experiences in which people

were dishonest with us. Weve all experienced the

revelation of 20/20 hindsight. I should have seen it

coming. Looking back, it

was so obvious. Statements

like these are proof that

we failed to see the signs

that would have helped us

avoid an unpleasant episode

in our lives. How do you

develop the skill of readingpeople? Here are six general

guidelines which can help

you.

First and foremost, spend

more time with people.

Increasingly, we conduct our

lives in a very non-personal

manner. Phones, faxes and

e-mail all have made it not

only possible but often

preferred to communicate

through technology instead

of in person. To be able to

make accurate assessments

about peoples behavior,

you have to spend more

time interacting with them.

Second, you need to be a

good observer. Stop, look and listen and, above all,be patient. Few people reveal themselves quickly

to others and you should be wary of those who do.

Third, you have to be willing to reveal something

about yourself rst.

It doesnt have to be an intimate detail of your

life. Again, most people are uncomfortable with

that behavior anyway. But you have to be willing

to break the ice. Its the lost art of conversation

and you have to be willing to initiate it. Once you

do, it is only natural for you to ask the other person

something about himself. From that point on its

simply a matter of conversation.

Fourth, you have to be objective. If your state of

mind is one of need, fear, defensiveness or if you

are emotionally involved in some way with the

other person, you must work to overcome that

Establish an objective state

of mind, be conscious of it

and work to maintain it.

Fifth, as part of being

objective, you have to start

from scratch. Be aware of

any bias or preconceivednotions you may have and

work to eliminate them.

What you want to look for is

patterns in peoples behavior.

Later we will refer to this as

establishing a baseline for

that person. Look for striking

traits and characteristics

but make sure you conside

them in context of thecircumstances. Then look

for extremes or deviations

from the pattern. When you

nd them, ask whether or

not they are temporary or

permanent. Is it a phase th

person is going through o

does it seem indicative of a

permanent condition? As

yourself if the traits are elective or permanent.

A persons appearance can give many clues as to

their character. Look at their clothing, hair, jewelry

make-up and hygiene. Of course, you always have

to consider these things in the proper perspective

Someone who dresses poorly may not be bad or

dishonest, clothing may just not be a priority in their

life. Someone who wears an excessive amount of

...you have to

be willing to

break the ice.

Its the lost art

of conversation

and you haveto be willing to

initiate it.

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jewelry may be very outgoing or they may be very

insecure. Also, pay attention to the way a person

speaks, including the words they use, how fast they

talk and the tone and quality of their voice.

Typical attitudes displayed by people being

questioned about some fear-provoking incident:

Those who are truthful

Calm

Relaxed

Cooperative

Concerned

Sincere

Certain, sure-footed

Untruthful

Impatient

Tense

Defensive

Outwardly unconcerned

Overly friendly, polite or cooperative

Uncertain

Attitudes common to untruthful people

Nervous

Angry

Quiet

The most important thing to remember when you

begin practicing your observation of others is that

you cannot draw a conclusion based on any single

thing.

Youre looking for what is normal or typical for that

person. Then you want to determine what, if any

deviations from that norm they exhibit. Deviations

indicate that something is amiss and are a warning

ag. They should serve to heighten your awareness

of the persons actions and words and not give in

to blind trust.

In learning to be observant think of yourself as a

detective, looking for every detail and clue you can

get from someone. Make a game out of it. Make

it fun and you will soon nd practicing it to be

second nature.

When it comes to people who lie, basically there

are four frequently used categories for them:

Occasional liars, frequent liars, habitual liars and

professional liars.

Occasional liars are the easiest to spot through verba

and non-verbal clues. They are not comfortable

lying and this will reveal itself. Because of this

they tend to think their lies through and will seldom

lie about something that could be veried through

others.

Frequent liars are still uncomfortable with lying but

are just more used to doing it. As a result, the verba

and non-frequent liars are still uncomfortable with

lying but are just more used to doing it. As a result

the verbal and non-verbal clues will be subtle. They

tend to be sloppy when it comes to thinking their

lies through and can often be revealed by looking

closely at the internal consistency and logic of their

statements.

Habitual liars dont care. It doesnt bother them

to lie and hence they give fewer observable clues

However, their lies are generally fraught withinconsistencies.

Professional liars lie for a purpose. Even though

they are relatively rare, they are practiced and

polished and the only way to detect them is through

verifying their story with independent sources.

No single behavior by itself proves anything.

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You must rst be able to determine what is normal

for each person.

In interrogation training for law enforcement,

this is referred to as baseline behavior. Once

you establish what is normal or baseline for each

individual, you can then look for changes or

deviations in that behavior. Because no single

behavior by itself proves anything, you then need

to look for clusters or patterns of deviation from

the baseline norm.

Ask yourself, What subjects or questions appear

to cause the persons behavior to change?

That being said, there are some types of behavior,

which studies and experience have shown to most

likely be signs of someone reacting to the stress

that occurs when they tell a lie. These classic

symptoms are generally accepted as deviations

from normal non-stressed behavior.

A trail of clues...

Inevitably lies leave clues. These clues are caused

by stress. Unless someone is a complete psychopath

or a professional liar, lying is stressful for him.

Even habitual liars feel stress when they are lying.

The reason for this is as old as mankind. Every

authoritative source on lying and lie detection

agrees on one thing:

A person lies because he feels threatened and is

trying to survive.

Just as with a physical threat to our person or

property that instinctive ght or ight mode

takes over, even though the threat is verbal and

not physical. Blood pressure goes up, the heart

rate increases and breathing goes out of sync.

These conditions are caused by and are signs of

stress. And they are beyond our ability to control.

Mechanical lie detectors work based on their ability

to electronically sense these signs of stress.

Even though the stress signs of lying may be a

good deal more subtle than an attack from a wild

animal, the fact is they are there and with training

and practice, they can be detected using only your

senses. No matter how hard they try, a person

experiencing this kind of stress will not be able to

hide it completely. They may be able to contro

some of the manifestations the stress of lying

creates, but they wont be able to contain them all

When numerous stress signs become evident thelie will reveal itself.

There are exceptions to using observable signs

of stress as indicators of a lie. Specically

children, the mentally challenged, psychotics and

sociopaths, and those under the inuence of drugs

or alcohol may not give clues which can be reliably

interpreted.

When someone is lying they will usually be in one

of ve emotional states when responding:

Anger.

Depression.

Denial.

Bargaining.

Acceptance.

When numerous stress signs become evident the lie will revea

itsel.

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Anger, depression, denial and bargaining are all

classied as negative emotional states.

When a person responds to questioning with anger

he is mentally shutting down his mind to questions.

Depression is anger turned inward and, again,

they will resist telling you anything. Denial is the

most common stress-response state. Over 90%

of deceptive behavior is denial. However, it can

often be worked through with the right approach.

Bargaining, while still a negative emotional state,

is a transition stage on the way to acceptance.

Acceptance is a positive

emotional state in which

the person who has lied to

you will, at last, tell you the

truth.

Much of what we know

about detecting lies comes

from law enforcement. They

give a lot of attention to

these stress-response states

during the interview and/or

interrogation process.

For most of us, the process

of nding out if were

being lied to is more ofan interview process than

an interrogation scenario.

However, some of the same

principles and techniques

can be applied. They

are especially useful in

situations where you have

the authority to pursue the

truth about an incident or

statement, as in an employer-employee, or a parent-sibling relationship.

With the general clues to lies being signs of stress,

there are two categories into which those signs fall.

Several different terms have been given to these

categories, psycholinguistics and neurolinguistics

among them, but it is simplest just to view them as

either verbal or non-verbal clues.

Verbal clues are what the person says, the way

they say it, the words and grammar they use. Non-

verbal clues are those which manifest themselves

physically and can be observed in a persons body

language.

Determining Lies

Much of your ability to nd out if someone is lying

to you will depend on your relationship with that

person and the setting in which the exchange you

have takes place.

For example, if a co-worker

tells you something over a

drink after hours and you

question the validity of what

was said, your approach to

nding out the truth will be

different than if you were the

persons boss and you were

questioning them at work

The context of the situation

(work, social event, at home

in public), your relationship

to the person (stranger, co-

worker, spouse, friend, child)

and how long youve known

them must all be considered.

These factors will determine

the rapport you have with

the person, which will in

turn determine your tone

and approach to them. Most

importantly it will determine

how quickly and accurately

you are able to establish the

persons behavioral baseline

Questioning a Liar

It makes no difference whether the person you are

about to question is a spouse, child, best friend

employee or total stranger, you always want to try

to make the person comfortable. Take the attitude

of being curious to know what really happened

Quick accusations generally incite denial or

Denial is the

most commonstress-response

state.

Over 90%of deceptive

behavior is

denial.

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confrontation and you will be at an impasse. Its

often more productive to try to extract as much

information as you can before directly confronting

the person.

Determining whether youre being lied to involves

some strategy. Once youve established a persons

baseline behavior, the strategy is to nd a question

or comment which causes them to deviate from that

baseline behavior. You want to nd out which

buttons you need to push.

Once you nd out what causes the person to

exhibit stress, you can pursue a direction with the

conversation that will give you more clues, and

ultimately, a conrmation of what you want to

know.

Preparing for the interview.

The guilty person is afraid of being caught and

punished. Putting the subject at ease is the rst

step in setting up the interview. You want to put

forth an image of being friendly, curious, exible,

and yes, sympathetic. In other words you want to

build a rapport by being an active listener. Showing

patience, acceptance, even detachment gets you

and the subject on the same side, so to speak.

Especially in the early part of an interview, you

must avoid direct accusations. Unless, of course,

you have physical evidence to present that is so

compelling that a confession is all but inevitable.

Presenting the questions. Generally, there are

two types of questions used in interviews: closed

questions and open questions.

Closed questions are specic and typically limit the

number of possible responses to Yes or No. They

work best when you need or want to tightly control

the interview, or where the subject is reluctant to

give detailed responses. Probing too soon with

closed questions makes it more difcult to build

a rapport with the subject. It also tends to allow

the subject to take a position and get locked into a

lie, rather than giving him an opportunity to reveal

important information that may prove useful later

on.

Open questions cannot be answered with a Yes or

No. These questions require the subject to think

clearly. And even though they may create more

stress for the interviewee, the also reveal the greatest

amount of information. Most open questions ask

who, where, when, what, why or how.

Open questions help you accomplish several

goals:

Discover the subjects priorities, attitudes, needs

values, etc.

Allow the subject to express his viewpoints.

Establish rapport.

Engage in active listening and give the subjecrecognition.

Allow the subject to reveal facts without feeling

directly threatened.

Criminal investigators learn to use the open-ended

question to elicit information from a suspect. And

at the same time, the open-ended question tends

to avoid words that threaten the subject with pain

or punishment. If you ask a subject the following

question: Did you steal the money from the cashregister? The subject is going to be defensive

volunteer little information, and lose rapport

with the interviewer because of the nature of the

question.

On the other hand, if you ask an open-ended question

such as: Fred, last night someone removed a smal

amount of cash from the register. I am sure they had

a good reason to take the money, and they probably

intended to return the money the next day. You

were on duty last night, can you tell me everything

you can remember about what you saw last night?

Now take your time, think back to about 8:30 PM

and try to remember what you saw.

This type of open-question allows the subject to

reveal information that he didnt intend to reveal

And, because he is under stress, he will never

be able to remember all the lies he has told. So

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after the subject nishes telling his story, you can

question bits and pieces. You can reverse the order

in which he gave you the information. He started

the story about 8 PM and went until 9:30 PM, so

you either begin questioning him in the middle, or

start at the end and work backwards. If he is lying,

he will lose control of his story.

Verbal Clues

In examining each area of the lying phenomena, it

is worth repeating the cardinal rule of lie detection:

No one word, action or behavior, by itself, proves

anything. You must look for cumulative clues and

you must view them in context of the situation.

That being said, there are some verbal clues that

may be considered strong indicators that someone

is lying to you.

Pitch, Volume, and Rate of Speech

The presence of stress in a subject can be revealed

by a change in the pitch of the voice. This is why its

important to begin the interview in an atmosphere

that is as calm and relaxed as possible. For most

people, the pitch of the voice will rise when they are

under stress. Another sign of tension is a change

in the volume of the voice. The tendency is for

the volume to increase under stress. However, for

some people, when tension is coupled with guilt

the volume of voice tends to drop.

When a person is confronted with questions they

have anticipated, normally their rate of speech wil

speed up. Thats because he has rehearsed his alibi

and he is anxious to prove his innocence by getting

the answers out as quickly as possible. Also

because the answers have been mentally rehearsed

there is no need to think about the questions before

answering.

Lies are verbal actions in that they are spoken. The

person is looking for the least anxiety-producingway of escape from having to deal with the truth

Lies have been compared to an iceberg - there will

be bits of truth in what is said, but the bulk of what

exists is being kept hidden from you.

In law enforcement, improved questioning and

interrogation techniques, along with behavioral

psychology and extensive real-life experience has

resulted in being able to identify many predictive

indicators of lies.

In the case of pure fabrications, the truth usually

presents itself easily and quickly. Made up storie

usually dont have a lot of details. If you ask for

details, the person will probably have to pause

before answering or answer awkwardly.

The liar will often use your words to make a point

and may keep adding more information to try to

sell you his story. They may stonewall with their

answers or make a classic Freudian slip.

In cases where someone is being questioned about

a specic incident of wrongdoing, there are some

general indicators of deceit:

A liar may try to diffuse the situation by making

light of it through humor or sarcasm.

He will have the answers to many questions down

pat, almost rehearsed.

A liar may try to diuse the situation by making light o it through

humor or sarcasm.

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Page 13

He will stall by asking you to repeat a question or

by answering a question with a question.

He seems to relax when the subject is changed

or casually try to slip things through during the

conversation. Numbers relating to facts will often

be similar or multiples of each other.

He will talk about others doing similar things (This

is the thats nothing compared to what Joe did

scenario.)

Or he may come up with

a story that is simply too

implausible to ever be

believed.

Because a person under the

stress of telling a lie will

usually go into one of the

ve stress-response states,

you can look for the state to

manifest itself with a type

of verbal response.

Anger can be either focused

or covert.

If anger is focused, the

person being questioned

will verbally attack the

one asking the question.

Signs of covert anger are

complaining, belittling,

arrogance, and making

issues out of non-issues. In either case, when a

person starts reacting this way it is safe to draw the

conclusion that something youve asked them hascreated a stress-response reaction.

Depressed subjects will talk about all forms of

physical ailments that they suffer from such as

headaches or even chest pain. They may complain

about a stiff neck, tell you about a lack of appetite

and their inability to sleep. The key to identifying

these types of comments as depression is if the

subject tells you these symptoms are a direct result

of, or associated with the crime, crisis event or

problem in which the person is being questioned.

Of the ve stress-response states, denial is the most

common.

Over 90% of deceptive behavior will be in the formof denial.

Memory lapses are a form of denial. Deceptive

people are more prone to claim memory failure

than truthful people. Verbally, theyre prone to use

words and expressions such

as:

I cant remember,

Really,

Honestly,

To tell the truth,

Frankly,

Truthfully speaking,

To the best of my

knowledge.

They commonly useweighted expressions

such as By the way, and

Incidentally. They use

modifying statements to

try to subtly qualify their

answers: Ordinarily, Most

of the time, Generally,

Basically and Sometimes.

You should also be aware of blocking statements

and bridging statements. An example of a blocking

statement is when a person says something like:

Why would I take the money and then come in to

work today? or If I was having an affair, dont

you think I would hide it better?

A bridging statement is something like I had

just opened the store when the next thing I knew

...Why

would I takethe money

and then

come in towork today?

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Page 1

some guy ran in and held me up. These types

of statements are obviously meant to give the

questioner the appearance that the person is being

forthright when, in fact, they are often indicators of

deception.

Of course, it is important that you rst establish

what words, phrases and speech patterns are normal

for the person in question. You always want to look

for things which fall outside of that baseline.

When someone is in a bargaining state of stress-

response, the tendency is for them to make religious

statements such as, I swear to God, or personal

moral statements like, Im a law-abiding citizen.

I dont even have a trafc ticket. They also are

often overly courteous and may resort to name

dropping or trying to intimidate you by impressingupon you how important they are. Complaining

may also be a noticeable trait with a person in a

bargaining state, and it is typically used as a means

of interrupting the focus of the exchange.

The last possible stress-response state is one of

acceptance and the verbal clues to it are quite

obvious. The person will usually make either a

buy-out statement such as Id be willing to do

this if you just ..., a fantasy-reality statement like

I dont remember, but if you say so or they willmake some kind of an inquiry as to the nature of

the punishment for the offense. When someone

demonstrates an acceptance stress-response state,

they are admitting to the deception they are accused

or suspected of. Its important when you recognize

this condition to let them do most of the talking and

become a good listener.

In addition to verbal clues, which are related to

the ve stress-response-states, you should also be

aware that there are some general verbal evasions,

which have been shown to be strong indicators

that someone is lying, regardless of their stress-

response-state. These include statements such

as: Thats about it, Thats hard to say, I beg

your pardon, You have no proof of that, Are

you accusing me?, The answer is no, Are you

asking me that?.

Along with these phrases, a deceptive person will

frequently voice objections to the questions asked

or statements made. Also watch to see if they

answer without what would be an appropriate

pause to reect, or if they respond with a question

answer with a rambling dissertation or make a

classic Freudian slip such as, I would always takeyour car before asking instead of I would always

ask before taking your car.

Deceptive people demonstrate more speech

dysfunctions than individuals not under stress

Speech dysfunction occurs because the person is

being hit with relevant questions and does not have

a clear thought line

You should also be aware of a persons grammar.

Listen for passive (as opposed to active) verbal

statements, conditionally phrased verbal statements

and changes in verb tense from past to present.

An active verbal statement is something like

I counted out the register and noticed no

discrepancies. In a passive form, this statement

would be The front register was counted out by

me and no discrepancies were noticed. Using the

passive form, the person is attempting to distance

himself from the action.

Suppose you ask someone, What did you do after

work last night? If they answer with something

like, I would stop by and pick up my mail, go

to the store and then go home, they are giving a

conditionally phrased verbal response. They are

answering in a way that says this is probably what

they normally do, making it conditional.

An example of a change in verb tense is, I was

walking to my car. Its dark. I cant see. Andsuddenly, someone grabbed the bank bag and

ran.

All of these verbal inconsistencies are indications

of possible deception.

Here are ten ways to lie without really lying.

Evasive responses are an easy way to not deal

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Page 1

with the truth without actually fabricating false

information, which can be challenged at a later time.

Here are ten examples with a brief explanation.

1. Unnished business: Phrases such as Thats

about it, thats about the size of it, I guess thats

about all, are an admission that there is more

information concerning the topic which the person

has not divulged.

2. I cant is an admission that information to a

question simply cannot be given.

3. Hypothetically structured phrases: The person

uses conditional verbs like could, would, should,

or ought to preface his response. For example: I

would not say, or, I should not say.

4. Thats a hard question: An admission that theperson does not like the question, or that it is too

painful for him to answer the question.

5. Objection: Like the lawyer who stands up in

court and says Objection, your honor this type

of response is used when a person nds a question

too sensitive. For example, you ask a subject if he

stole $5,000 from the company safe and he answers

with, Im not the kind of person who would do

anything like that.

6. Non-reective denial of knowledge: When

the subject is asked a question, it is normal for

him to pause for reection before answering the

question. Any denial without pause for reection is

an indication the question was anticipated and the

answer rehearsed.

7. Offended Dignity: A subject is asked, Did

you steal the missing computer equipment? He

responds with, I am the manager. How dare you

ask me a question like that? He simply evaded

the question.

8. Answers a question with a question: Do you

know who stole the money from the safe? He says,

How should I know that? How could I know?

How would I know?

9. Rambling Dissertation: The persons verbal

response contains information called for in the

question, in addition the subject supplies much

more information than is necessary to adequately

answer the question.

10. The answer does not relate to the question: For

example, you ask the subject, Did you have a gun

on you when you walked into the store? He replies

I dont even like guns and wouldnt have anything

to do with one. While evasive techniques are not

a guarantee the person is lying, they indicate the

person is under a great deal of stress. That leads to

the question of why do they feel so much stress in

answering questions if they have nothing to hide

and the answers will not get them into trouble.

Another important verbal clue to be aware of is the

quality of the voice.

The voice reects the emotional state as well as

Rambling Dissertation: The persons verbal response containsinormation called or in the question, in addition to the subject

supplies much more inormation than is necessary to adequately

answer the question.

the strength and depth of the emotion on both

an audible and a subconscious level. Again, the

watchword here is deviation from what is the norm

for the person in question.

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Does their voice always shake when they get

emotional? Are they naturally a nervous type

person? Does their voice sound strained and tight

or relaxed? Does the pitch of the voice change

when asked about a particular subject?

The accepted school of thought is that voice

quality characteristics should not be considered as

indicators of deception however, they are important

elements in the overall picture you are trying to

create about a person you suspect may be lying to

you.

In assessing your verbal

clues, be aware that there

are some things which

may cause you to misread

what you are hearing.In the terminology of

interrogation, these are

referred to as interview

contaminants. They are

such things as: Hearing

problems, outside

distractions, a non-native

English speaker, a language

dysfunction, the persons

mental state (sanity), the

wording of the questions

and your manner toward the

other person.

One reason that most liars

get caught is that to be a

good liar you must have

a fabulous memory. And

the more complicated the

lie the more difcult it is

to remember. Investigatorsknow this well. So when theyre interviewing

or interrogating a subject, they begin by asking

the person to tell them in their own words what

happened or what they know about a situation.

Most lies go in a straight line. So, in questioning

someone, after youve let them tell their story,

you go to the end and start working backwards as

you ask questions. When a person memorized a

lie its very difcult to begin reversing the order

of the story. You can skip to the middle of the

story, go to the beginning, then to the end and then

back to the middle of the story. Only a liar with a

photographic memory can likely handle that kind

of pressure. Watch for signs of stress under thiskind of questioning.

Non-verbal Clues

Non-verbal clues consist o

signals commonly referred to

as body language. Because

they are observable physica

actions, there is often more

curiosity about them than

there is for verbal clues.

It has been estimated that

approximately 65% of what

humans communicate is done

so through body language

with the remaining 7% being

verbal, 12% voice quality and

16% miscellaneous signals

such as chemical changes

odors and other subtleties.

This analysis is easily

explained by the fact that

people are better able t

control their verbal signals

than they are the non-verba

ones. Therefore, they

generate a lot more body

language clues than verba

ones. Much of the body

language clues are generated

subconsciously. When a person is in a stress-

producing situation, they are experiencing emotions

and emotions are virtually impossible to repress

They may be able to carefully measure their words

and statements, but signs of their stress will come

to the surface in the form of body language.

However, while body language clues are plentifu

and visually evident, they do not have the same

only a

liar with aphotographic

memory can

likely handlethat kind of

pressure.

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Page 1

value individually as verbal clues do. That is

why body language is best considered a method

of conrmation of the signals being generated

verbally. You should look at them in this context.

Listen to what the verbal clues are telling you in

conjunction with the physical actions you are able

to visually observe.

As with verbal clues, you want to know what the

persons baseline of behavior is before considering

what his body language means. You nd this out

by either being well acquainted with the person

or by engaging them in comfortable, general

conversation before touching on the subject you

want to measure for truth.

In addition to being able to spot deviations from

the persons normal behavior, you also need toconsider the timing of the body language clues.

The gestures should t the speech. Anything thats

out of sync is an indication that the person is feeling

stress about whatever they are talking about.

Watch how a person sits in their chair.

When possible, before interviewing a person, its a

good idea to arrange two chairs in such a way that

the chairs are facing each other and about three to

four feet apart. Invite the subject to have a seat.

The truthful person will, without hesitation, sit down

in the chair offered to him. The guilty person will

walk to their chair and, if possible, move it. They

will likely move the chair away from you. This

helps reduce some of the stress he feels. Second,

they will change the alignment of the chairs so they

no longer face you directly. If the chair cannot be

moved easily, the subject will sit facing off the

right or left.

Again, these actions help relieve stress by allowing

the subject to turn away from you when the

questioning gets too stressful.

Posture is important. The truthful person tends to

exhibit good posture during an interview.

It has been ingrained in us by our parents who

kept telling us to sit straight, look them in the

eye and always tell the truth. The truthful person

automatically (subconsciously) sits in an upright

position with their shoulders squared and paralle

to the shoulders of the interviewer. They are

relaxed and keep their arms loose and away from

the body.

Imagine a small cone starting at the subjects

waist and moving up to encompass his shoulders

The truthful person generally will stay within this

imaginary cone.

The untruthful person is uncomfortable and fears

detection. He will often attempt to take a defensive

posture that makes him feel more comfortable and

conceals vulnerable parts of the body. Keep in mind

that the subconscious mind reacts the same way to

threats, whether they are physical or psychologicalThe same ght or ight reaction occurs under stress

and much the same physical responses occur.

When a person is threatened the abdominal region

tends to tense up. The untruthful person tends to

position his shoulders in a way that minimizes his

exposure, much in the same way he would prepare

to defend against a physical assault.

The untruthful person often assumes a slumping

position, extending their feet and legs toward theinterviewer. The goal is to put a greater distance and

obstacles between themselves and the interviewer.

The guilty person is prone to perspire excessively

particularly in the area of the trunk of the body

He may also show signs of signicant changes in

respiration. Most people breathe between eighteen

and twenty-two cycles per minute. About one third

of the time the guilty person increases respiration

rapidly, almost taking on a panting, labored look.

More commonly, the guilty persons respiration

pattern tends to slow and become shallow o

irregular. Taking a deep breathe periodically during

the course of the interview may highlight such

irregularity.

The main thing is to watch the subjects breathing

pattern to look for changes throughout the interview

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Page 18

Changes in the pattern will coincide with high

stress.

There are four areas of the body which are

considered the primary gauges for reading body

language clues. You can remember them by the

word HEAL: Head, Eyes, Arms and Legs.

HEAD

The rst thing to try and discern from a persons

head movement is whether or not they are listening

to you. If they tilt their head slightly it probably

means they are listening to you. If they dont tilt or

change the angle of their head, it may indicate that

Other things to observe about a persons head

include their facial color. The face and sides of

the neck may turn white when someone is being

deceptive. The condition is obviously caused by

a draining of blood from the head. A red face

may also indicate stress and deception. However

it can also be the result of honest uneasiness orembarrassment over the whole situation.

Facial expressions can be telling of anger, by a

cold, hard stare, or suppression with the display

of a stone face. Any type of facial tic or twitch

indicates stress. Just be sure that it is not part of the

persons normal condition.

It is a little-known fact but the nose is the most

stress-sensitive body part. Itching, touching

pinching - all are indications of stress.

Everyone touches parts of their head to varying

degrees, but generally, people who are being

deceptive tend to have more touches to their head

than those who are being truthful.

When observing a persons mouth be aware of

false smiles. While they are hard to describe, we

all know one when we see it.

Yawning may be a sign of stress as it can be the

result of a lack of oxygen in the blood and an

increased metabolic rate. It can also signal fatigue

drowsiness or boredom. When yawning is being

used deceptively, it will appear regularly during the

conversation and seem excessive. In this case it is

probably being used as a stalling technique.

You should also be conscious of gulping or frequent

swallowing or a dry mouth or lips. The latter can

often be observed audibly by sounds the person

makes while speaking. White substance at thecorners of the mouth and biting lips are also signs

of stress.

Any obstruction of speech, physical or symbolic

is a sign of stress and possible deception. These

include a hand or ngers over the mouth and

chewing or biting objects. If a persons physica

expressions are limited to the mouth area, it may

It is a little-known act but the nose is the most stress-sensi-

tive body part. Itching, touching, pinching- all are indications o

stress.

they are either not interested or angry.

Either condition is going to make having a productivecommunication with them more difcult.

If the persons head sinks to their chest, it may

mean that they are either in the emotional state

of depression or acceptance. When the head is

down but the eyes are up, it is most likely a sign

of anger.

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Page 1

be a sign that they are consciously trying to control

their other bodily movements so as not to give

themselves away.

EYES

The level of eye contact a person engages in will

vary.

Such factors as culture, age and personality

(introvert / extrovert)

all affect this area of a

persons body language.

Again, determine what the

persons normal pattern of

eye contact is and then look

for changes from that.

Any break in the normallevel of eye contact, and

which comes well timed

with the subject matter of

the conversation, is a sign

of stress.

Extended eye contact can

either mean the person

is angry or theyre ready

to bargain. Eyes rolling

back or dropping can mean

acceptance or confession.

Other signs of stress are

constricted pupils and too

much white of the eyes

showing. Blinking tends

to increase with stress and

no blinking indicates the

person is having an internal

conversation with himself.

When the eyebrows form a V-shape, it is likely the

person is angry. If they are raised and the persons

mouth is open, they are probably shocked. If only

one eyebrow is raised, they are skeptical of what

you are saying. A furrowed brow, pulling toward

each other over the bridge of the nose, is indicative

of pain or depression.

Neurolinguistics: Heres an interesting experiment

you can try that will prove the importance of

studying eye movements.

Ask someone you know to answer the following

questions:

1. What was the color of the rst car you everpurchased?

2. What would the offspring

of an elephant and zebra look

like?

3. Who was the rst person

to spoke to you after you left

home this morning?

4. What was the rst thing

that person said to you this

morning?

5. How would it feel to sit in

a tub of warm Jell-O?

In response to the rst

question, he probably looked

up to the left, recalling the

color of that rst car he

bought. This response would

be typical for approximately

90% of the population. In

most instances, when we

recall something visually

that we have actually

experienced, the eyes go up

and to the left.

When we are recalling

something we heard, the eyes

move to the left and straight across.

In cases where we are creating visually, the eyes

will move up and to the right. So in answering

the question about the elephant and zebra, the eyes

should move up and to the right. The same eye

movement occurs when we are trying to create a

sound in our mind.

In answering question 5, if they have sat in a tub

In most

instances,

when we recallsomething

visually that we

have actually

experienced, theeyes go up and

to the left

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Page 20

of warm Jell-O, their eyes will move down and to

the left. For those of us who have never had the

pleasure of sitting in Jell-O, we have to create that

feeling. That means our eyes will move down and

to the right.

Just remember it this way. If we are remembering

something we saw, heard or felt, our eyes move to

the left: up for what we saw, straight for things weve

heard and down for those things weve touched or

felt. If we are trying to create the answer, our eyes

move to the right: up for something we say we saw,

straight for things we say we heard, and down for

things we say we have felt or touched.

Keep this in mind. A left-handed person is likely to

have eye movements that go in reverse to what we

have described above. Thats why its importantto observe an individual while they are relaxed and

not under any stress and study the movement of

their eyes.

ARMS

When talking about the body language of the

arms, we are talking about both the arms and the

shoulders. The rst thing to look for is how the

persons shoulders are positioned. A person who is

attempting to deceive you generally will not want toface you squarely. Consequently, one shoulder will

be uneven or turned away from you, many times

toward a door or window. Such a position not only

indicates deception but also uncooperativeness.

A shrug can mean they dont know or dont care.

However, if its eeting or partial, the person may

be feigning casualness, which is a sign of deception.

Shoulders that are dropped or rolled forward may

indicate depression, or that the person is ready to

confess. If they are too rigid and straight, with astiff back and neck, they are most likely showing

deance.

Elbows, which are held loosely away from the

body, are a sign of being relaxed. Held tight and

close, they are a sign of defensiveness.

Arms held close to the body but not outstretched are

interpreted as holding something in. Crossed arms

are generally interpreted as a more pronounced

degree of trying to distance himself from the other

person. When a persons arms are crossed with

their sts clenched underneath, they are displaying

anger. The higher crossed arms are held, the greater

the degree of deance. When a person hugs himselftightly, they are showing signs of depression. Note

that a person may also cross their arms for a variety

of perfectly legitimate reasons. They may be cold

have lower back problems or be very shy. Crossing

the arms while displaying the thumbs is a sign of

arrogance.

People will tend to move or use their hands more in

times of stress. Studies have shown an interesting

correlation between verbal skills and the use of

hands in conversation. Those at the high and lowend of the verbal skill spectrum tend to use their

hands more.

You should also be aware of the person touching

himself during the exchange. As stated earlier, the

number of head and face touches tend to be higher

than normal for people who are trying to deceive

Steepling the hands - resting the hands out in

front and lightly touching the ngertips together

- is a sign that the person is trying to establish

superiority. Touching the person theyre talking to

is interpreted as a sign that they are trying to either

bond or dominate the person questioning them.

LEGS

Crossed legs, like crossed arms, are generally seen

as an attempt to put a barrier between themselves

and you. Likewise, a person attempting to deceive

you will often turn so that their legs are actually

sideways to you.

There are also several classic sitting positions the

deceitful will use. Leaning forward with both

elbows resting on the thighs and the hands clasped

in front is referred to as the liars lean. The

jailbird seat is also leaning forward, but without

the elbows all the way down on the knees.

These are the basics of body language as they relate

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Page 21

to the movement and position of specic body

parts. In reality, it is more reliable as a verication

of the persons comfort level with what they are

telling you versus being determining factors by

themselves.

To get the most from reading a persons bodylanguage, look at the big picture. Look for timing

that is off between gestures and words, mechanical,

unnatural movements and gestures that dont match

the verbal message.

A person attempting to deceive will always seek

to put distance between themselves and the other

person, even if in the most subtle of ways. They

will slouch, turn their body or head away from you

and have little or no physical contact with you.

You can often induce stress and observe the persons

reaction by intentionally moving closer to them,

facing them squarely and eliminating any barriers

between themselves and you.

For all physical or non-verbal clues, always look

for a persons Initial Reaction Expression (IRE)

- that is a true expression that comes forth before

they are able to mask it. It may only exist for a split

second, but with careful observation, it can often

be detected.

Getting to the truth.

If you suspect that someone is lying to you, or you

want to nd out the truth about some action ordeed that has taken place, you are going to have to

interact with the people involved.

At the risk of over-simplifying this process, one

thing to keep in mind is that guilty people will

usually become defensive and innocent people will

go on the offensive. However, you may get no

further than these defensive or offensive modes if

you make the situation confrontational too soon.

It is usually best to employ a strategy for being ableto verify in your own mind the guilt or innocence

of someone. There are many ways to do this. The

important thing to remember about all of them is

that the goal is to extract information.

Dont accuse - allude.

One strategy is to allude to the question you want

to ask. Look to see if the person starts adding more

information than you asked for. Or you can frame

the question as a problem youve heard of, using athird-party as the culprit.

You will generally be able to observe discomfort

in the verbal and non-verbal clues of a guilty

person whereas and innocent person will gladly

offer advice and be glad his opinion was sought

An innocent person will be unafraid to discuss the

matter. A guilty person will seek to change the

subject.

Sometimes questions work best. If you are goingto ask a direct question, give no advance warning

and never reveal what you know rst. Be aware o

how you present yourself when you do this.

One tactic is to try to gain the other persons trust

by matching their posture, speech and even thei

key words.

Once the other person starts to give you an answer

An innocent person will be unaraid to discuss the matter. A

guilty person will seek to change the subject.

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Page 22

never interrupt them. In fact, silence can sometimes

be a powerful tool. A guilty person is less likely

to be comfortable with it and will tend to verbally

ramble.

Another technique is to ask a leading question.

Ask it in a way that makes the person think thatwhat you suspect is OK or that youve always

known about it. This requires a conversational

casualness on your part. Make them feel like they

are actually the good guys when they admit to it. In

other words, give the liar an incentive to confess.

Why not avoid the lie in the rst place?

How? Word the question in such a way as to

encourage the interviewee to tell the truth and avoid

lying, which will only make the problem worse.Heres a great example of helping the subject avoid

lying.

A parent suspects her 13-year old son is smoking

cigarettes. Now she can ask her son one of these

questions. You decide which one is more likely to

get a truthful answer.

Question 1: Have you been smoking cigarettes? I

am going to kill you if I nd out you have! In this

question the mother links confessing to the truthwith punishment. She offers no incentive for him

to tell the truth. She is likely to be lied to.

Question 2: Youve been smoking, havent you? A

better approach, but unless her son thinks she have

evidence to prove it, he is still likely to lie.

Question 3: Are you going to tell me when you

started smoking? This is an assumption question.

The son knows that his mother knows he is smoking.

He may be willing to talk about it, or refuse to talkabout it. In which case, you have your answer.

Question 4: I know all about your smoking and the

sneaking around that you have been doing. You

know I am not happy about that, but I just want you

to promise me that you wont drink alcohol until

you are 21-years old. Will you promise me that?

This is an assumptive question I know all about

your smoking. It adds truth and sincerity, no

happy about your sneaking around. And it gives

her son an easy way out. All he has to do is promise

not to drink alcohol and he gets a free ride. There

is no threat of punishment if he tells the truth. This

is an offer to tell the truth that he simply cant

refuse.

The outrageous accusation.

In some cases you may want to try using an overkil

strategy. Accuse them of everything - even more

than what youre really trying to nd out about

While doing this you can use statements like, If

you had just done this it would be one thing, but I

cant believe you did THIS!

Once again, youre making them feel like a better

person by admitting to only the one thing and not all

youve accused them of. Other approaches include

exchanging condences with the person. You tel

them that youve done something seemingly worse

and put them in the mode of Ill tell you mine i

you tell me yours.

You can also show the focus of your concern is on

the intent, not the deed - I understand, it was a dire

situation and you couldnt help yourself. Weve

all been there. Or you can try to approach themas a co-conspirator. This is the Let me in on the

action scenario. And you can offer the incentive o

absolution. By telling them things can be cleared

up now, that it can be worked out or even that you

blame yourself, but if we can clear this up things

will be even better between us.

There are numerous other creative approaches to

getting to the truth. The key to making any of them

work is your approach and consistency in pursuing

them.

In the nal analysis, the truthful person generally

is calm, relaxed and cooperative when being

questioned about a problem or crisis situation. He

is sincere in both word and action. His smile looks

genuine because he is sincere. The truthful person

is inexible in the story he tells (after all, the truth

is what it is and is not subject to negotiation or

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Page 23

alteration).

Ask a truthful and innocent person a question and

he gives a direct, no-nonsense answer. He has no

need for evasive, misleading or defensive answers

because he is innocent.

Back to Max

Early in this report, Max was faced with a dilemma.

Was he being lied to? And if so, by whom and how

could he nd out?

Without going into great

detail to describe the words

and actions of each of the

people in Maxs story,

proling their baseline

behavior and examiningMaxs interactions with

each of them, there is no

way you can tell from the

way the story was told

who was lying. So here

are the answers: Lisa, the

sales rep was lying. So

was the sales clerk in the

electronics store. His wife,

Jennie, was telling thetruth. Now that we know

this, lets look at how Max

could have found these

things out for himself.

With Lisa, Max could try

to be friendly, congratulate

her on her success and

innocently ask her some

detailed information such

as who was her contact at the printing company.He could then try to verify not only her contact, but

how long she had been calling on them through his

contact at the same company.

Another approach would be to volunteer his help

to Lisa. He could give her the records of his sales

calls to the company and offer to help her on the

account.

In either case, if Lisa is not telling the truth, shes

going to be evasive and want to keep Max as far

away from the account as possible. For his part

Max should persist in trying to get at the truth

because to let Lisa have the account when, by rights

it should be his, is going have a signicant negative

impact on him.

Max should trust his instincts when it comes to

the sales clerk. His impression was that the guy

was blowing him off. So

instead of believing him and

waiting to get a call from

the store, he should just go

nd the item somewhere

else. This is an example of a

fairly insignicant lie, but if

Max goes along with it, he iswasting time and energy he

doesnt need to waste.

The situation with Maxs

wife is more serious. The

fact that he has suspicions

when she is telling the truth

can be as damaging as if she

were lying. It can affec

his behavior toward her

and seriously damage their

marriage.

If he wants to know about his

wifes lunch with her friend

Linda, he should ask her

about it, expressing a genuine

interest in hearing all about

it. He should ask for details

where did they go? What did

she eat? He should also ask about Linda. Whatsshe been up to? What did they talk about? If he

does all this in a non-threatening, non-accusatory

manner, his wife will appreciate the interest. Most

importantly, Max knows his wife well. He knows

what her baseline behavior is. And while theyre

having their conversation, he better than anyone

will be able to observe her behavior, if he remains

objective.

The fact

that he has

suspicions,when she is

telling the

truth, can be

as damaging

as if she were

lying.

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Parting thoughts.

There is no 100% accurate, foolproof, and reliable

system, method or technique in existence for

determining truth or deception. We are dealing

with human behavior, and weve all seen strange,

irrational and exception to the rule idiosyncrasies.

Just when we think we have it neatly pinned down,

along comes someone who does not t our model

of expectations.

Remember, although there are fundamental,

recognizable and identiable differences in the

ways most deceptive people talk and behave, this

does not mean that all possible liars will behave

the same way, or that all truthful people will do the

same.

Because lying is intended to deceive, it lends itself

to innumerable disguises. One important, although,

neglected way of unmasking a liar may be self-

observation that is, diverting your attention back

to yourself. Watch and make note of your own

actions and reactions when youre not telling the

truth: How are you feeling? What are you thinking?

What kinds of verbal and/or non-verbal clues are

you exhibiting? Play-act a role; pretend you are

the fabricator, and then use your own experience to

detect lies and lying in others.

Sometimes it does take one to know one!

Play-act a role; pretend you are the abricator, and then use you

own experience to detect lies and lying in others.

lies liars

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