life cycle 1

8/16/2019 Life Cycle 1

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CHAPTER 10 –CHAPTER 10 –

FAMILY LIFEFAMILY LIFECYCLECYCLEInstructor: Wendy CrapoInstructor: Wendy Crapo


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Used by permission of

THE ACADEMY OF NURSING

23 E! 3"## S!

S!$!C!% UT &'(2'()#*)##*'


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FAMILY LIFE CYLCEFAMILY LIFE CYLCE


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BEGINNINGBEGINNING

MARRIAGESMARRIAGES

What general age is best?What general age is best?

• 20-25 Youthful marriages20-25 Youthful marriages

• p to age 25! the olderp to age 25! the older

you are at marriage the you are at marriage the

greater li"elihood ofgreater li"elihood of

marital happiness#marital happiness#• $eens ha%e higher di%orce$eens ha%e higher di%orce

• &fter age '0 higher &fter age '0 higher

di%orcesdi%orces

PREDICTION OF SUCCESS: ntil death do us part: (ot a fact for mostmarriages#


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Predictio o! S"cce##Predictio o! S"cce##

• )ducation * income! insight! status)ducation * income! insight! status

• +ength of engagement+ength of engagement

• Childhood en%ironment , relationship ithChildhood en%ironment , relationship ith

family of origin , attachment#family of origin , attachment#• .i%orced parents may cause a shying aay.i%orced parents may cause a shying aay

from marriage#from marriage#

• +o%ing each other did not ha%e a/ect on+o%ing each other did not ha%e a/ect on

hether or not they fought#hether or not they fought#

• 1()Y11( )33)C$: 1%erloo"ing1()Y11( )33)C$: 1%erloo"ing

problemsproblems


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PREDICTION OF SUCCESSPREDICTION OF SUCCESS

FACTORSFACTORS• Communicate ellCommunicate ell

• 4esol%e conict in a constructi%e ay4esol%e conict in a constructi%e ay

• 4ealistic e6pectations of marriage4ealistic e6pectations of marriage

• +i"e each other as people 7opposites+i"e each other as people 7oppositesattract doesn8t or"9attract doesn8t or"9

• ndesirable traits are magnied inndesirable traits are magnied inmarriagemarriage

• &gree on religion , ethical issues &gree on religion , ethical issues

• ;alance leisure acti%ities ith each other;alance leisure acti%ities ith each other


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ENGAGEMENT $More o! %ENGAGEMENT $More o! %

rit"%& t'% % (idi)rit"%& t'% % (idi)

co**it*et+co**it*et+o long should engagement be?o long should engagement be?• $he longer you are engaged the more li"ely$he longer you are engaged the more li"ely

you are to disco%er compatibilities# you are to disco%er compatibilities#• ;ut it can go too long too#;ut it can go too long too#• 2urpose of engagement• Commitment to marry 7try out ho it feels9#Commitment to marry 7try out ho it feels9#

• $hin" about realities of married life#$hin" about realities of married life#• ;eginning of "inship 7start ma"ing ties ith;eginning of "inship 7start ma"ing ties ith

in-las9#in-las9#• ;ecome a couple#;ecome a couple#


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Fee&i)# d"ri)Fee&i)# d"ri)

e)%)e*ete)%)e*et• &n6iety &n6iety• aturation ,aturation ,

dependencydependency

• +osses+osses• uestion partner choiceuestion partner choice

• @ender role conict@ender role conict

• IdealiAation ,IdealiAation ,

disillusionmentdisillusionment

• @et to "no self@et to "no self

7ea"nesses ,7ea"nesses ,

strengths9strengths9


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,EDDING RITUAL $-./ c'"rc' ,EDDING RITUAL $-./ c'"rc'

eddi)#+ eddi)#+• BymboliAed profound life transition , stepBymboliAed profound life transition , step

into adulthoodinto adulthood• @i%e the bride aay 7hen father recei%ed@i%e the bride aay 7hen father recei%ed

pledge of money he ga%e bride aay9pledge of money he ga%e bride aay9

• )6change of rings 73rom )gypt *)6change of rings 73rom )gypt *timelessness , to gi%e it bac" is symbolictimelessness , to gi%e it bac" is symbolicgesture9gesture9

• (ot earing a ring is symbolic statement(ot earing a ring is symbolic statementabout the marriageabout the marriage

• Carrying bride o%er threshold 7@reece ,Carrying bride o%er threshold 7@reece ,4ome symbolic of abduction because bride4ome symbolic of abduction because brideould not illingly lea%e her father8s house9ould not illingly lea%e her father8s house9

• )ating of ca"e 7o/ering made to household)ating of ca"e 7o/ering made to household

of of @od8s , made union sacred9@od8s , made union sacred9

• umping the broomstic" 7&frican tradition9 umping the broomstic" 7&frican tradition9

• oneymoon 7>agan time of into6icationoneymoon 7>agan time of into6ication

to insure fertility9to insure fertility9

• 3loer girls 7carried heat to symboliAe3loer girls 7carried heat to symboliAe

fertility9fertility9

In groups brainstorm all expensesIn groups brainstorm all expenses

for a wedding and estimate the cost.for a wedding and estimate the cost.


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HONEYMOOHONEYMOO

NNHONEYMOON PURPOSESHONEYMOON PURPOSES• 4est and 4ecreation4est and 4ecreation• $ime for being alone$ime for being alone• Initial adDustment to marriageInitial adDustment to marriage

GUIDELINES ,HEN PLANNINGGUIDELINES ,HEN PLANNING A HONEYMOON A HONEYMOON• .on8t go into debt.on8t go into debt• ay delay to a better timeay delay to a better time• oneymoon not necessary for a happy marriageoneymoon not necessary for a happy marriage

NATIONAL SUREYS SHO,:NATIONAL SUREYS SHO,:• 50= of couples inter%ieed report their honeymoon as50= of couples inter%ieed report their honeymoon as

not happy at all#not happy at all#• >eople most unhappy ith honeymoons are young>eople most unhappy ith honeymoons are young

omen ho ha%e alays li%ed at home#omen ho ha%e alays li%ed at home#


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ENDURING MARRIAGESENDURING MARRIAGES

• Couples ho are happily in lo%e#Couples ho are happily in lo%e#

• nhappy couples ho continue marriage outnhappy couples ho continue marriage outof habit and fear#of habit and fear#

• Couples in beteen ho are neither happyCouples in beteen ho are neither happynor unhappy and accept the situation#nor unhappy and accept the situation#

• 20= ere happy and 20= ere unhappy#20= ere happy and 20= ere unhappy#

• +ittle correlation beteen happy marriages+ittle correlation beteen happy marriages

and stable ones#and stable ones#• In general! hoe%er! the Euality of the maritalIn general! hoe%er! the Euality of the maritalrelationship appears to sho continuity o%errelationship appears to sho continuity o%erthe years#the years#


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HAPPILY MARRIED –HAPPILY MARRIED –

,'%t2# t'e Secret3 ,'%t2# t'e Secret3• ,'e t'e4 *et t'e4 !e&t i**edi%te&4 ,'e t'e4 *et t'e4 !e&t i**edi%te&4 %t 'o*e%t 'o*e

it' e%c' ot'er5 it' e%c' ot'er5 )arly on there is a strong physical)arly on there is a strong physicalandFor emotional attraction G they feel a seepingandFor emotional attraction G they feel a seepingsense of connection#sense of connection#

• H%664 co"6&e# o!te e76eriece t'e*#e&8e# %#H%664 co"6&e# o!te e76eriece t'e*#e&8e# %#

(ei) t'e(ei) t'e #%*e#%*e %d%d di9eretdi9eret55 BimilarBimilarbac"grounds but each ants to embrace the other8sbac"grounds but each ants to embrace the other8sdi/erentnessH each anted to be more li"e the other#di/erentnessH each anted to be more li"e the other#

• H%664 co"6&e# e#t%(&i#' %d !o&&o d%i&4H%664 co"6&e# e#t%(&i#' %d !o&&o d%i&4ro"tie#ro"tie#55 $his promotes condence and trust#$his promotes condence and trust#

• H%664 co"6&e# "#"%&&4 de#cri(e t'eir *%te %#H%664 co"6&e# "#"%&&4 de#cri(e t'eir *%te %#t'eirt'eir (e#t !ried(e#t !ried55 $hey li"e each other %ery much!$hey li"e each other %ery much!abo%e all others# $hey spent a lot of time together#abo%e all others# $hey spent a lot of time together#

• H%664 co"6&e# #'%re % &i!eH%664 co"6&e# #'%re % &i!e dre%*dre%*55 $hey or"$hey or"together to ma"e the dream come true#together to ma"e the dream come true#


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HAPPILY MARRIED cot5HAPPILY MARRIED cot5

• H%664 co"6&e# do2t 'o&d %H%664 co"6&e# do2t 'o&d % )r"d)e)r"d)e55 ighighcapacity to resol%e conict and mo%e on#capacity to resol%e conict and mo%e on#

• H%664 co"6&e# e76ect e%c' ot'er to do t'eirH%664 co"6&e# e76ect e%c' ot'er to do t'eir(e#t(e#t55 $hey belie%e in their partner#$hey belie%e in their partner#

• H%664 co"6&e#H%664 co"6&e# ro&&ro&& it' t'e c'%)e#5 it' t'e c'%)e#5 >eople>eopledo change and good marriages change for theirdo change and good marriages change for theirpartner and for the better#partner and for the better#

• H%664 co"6&e# %)ree to '%8e or ot to '%8eH%664 co"6&e# %)ree to '%8e or ot to '%8ec'i&drec'i&dre55 $hey usually share a dream of$hey usually share a dream ofcreating a family#creating a family#

• H%664 co"6&e# "der#t%d t'e i*6ort%ceH%664 co"6&e# "der#t%d t'e i*6ort%ceo!o! #e7 #e7 ro*%cero*%ce55 3riendship as more3riendship as moreimportant than se6 but se6 as the strong forceimportant than se6 but se6 as the strong force

binding them together through the years#binding them together through the years#


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HAPPILY MARRIED cot5HAPPILY MARRIED cot5

• H%664 co"6&e# #ee e%c' ot'er2#H%664 co"6&e# #ee e%c' ot'er2# (e#t(e#t #e&!5#e&!5 $hey see$hey seeeach other clearly as they are but also hat they caneach other clearly as they are but also hat they canbecome#become#

• H%664 co"6&e# #tro)&4 (e&ie8e i %d 6r%cticeH%664 co"6&e# #tro)&4 (e&ie8e i %d 6r%ctice*oo)%*4 *oo)%*4 55 3idelity as simply e6pected and an open3idelity as simply e6pected and an openmarriage as not appealing to happily married couples#marriage as not appealing to happily married couples#

• H%66i&4 *%rried co"6&e# #'%re % co*6&ete %(#eceH%66i&4 *%rried co"6&e# #'%re % co*6&ete %(#eceo!o! 6oer 6oer #tr"))&e5#tr"))&e5 Considered each other to be eEualConsidered each other to be eEualand their money! especially! as alays theirsJ! notand their money! especially! as alays theirsJ! notKmineJ#KmineJ#

• H%664 co"6&e#H%664 co"6&e# #"66ort#"66ort e%c' ot'er i %&& %re%#5e%c' ot'er i %&& %re%#5 &lays support each other8s dreams! e%en hen they don8t &lays support each other8s dreams! e%en hen they don8tagree or understand#agree or understand#

• H%664 co"6&e# !ee& % )re%t de%& o!H%664 co"6&e# !ee& % )re%t de%& o! !%it'!%it' i e%c' ot'eri e%c' ot'ere8e 'e oe t'i;# t'e ot'er i# ro)5e8e 'e oe t'i;# t'e ot'er i# ro)5 ay notay notthin" they are ma"ing the right choice but they gi%e theirthin" they are ma"ing the right choice but they gi%e theirsupport#support#


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ESCENTIALESCENTIAL

CHARACTERISTICS:CHARACTERISTICS:• M%rri%)e i# #'e##U#e&>#'e##

• Ti*eTi*e #6et to)et'er #6et to)et'er

• T%&; &i#teT%&; &i#te

• To"c'i)To"c'i)

• BeBe 6o#iti8e6o#iti8e %(o"t *%te *%rri%)e%(o"t *%te *%rri%)e


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STAGE 1 ? INITIALSTAGE 1 ? INITIAL

AD@USTMENT TO MARRIAGE AD@USTMENT TO MARRIAGE• ;efore marriage! you are afraid of losing each;efore marriage! you are afraid of losing each

other#other#

• &fter marriage! you are afraid of losing yourself# &fter marriage! you are afraid of losing yourself#

Identity bargaining: $he process of role adDustments in aIdentity bargaining: $he process of role adDustments in arelationshiprelationship

G Identify ith a roleIdentify ith a role

G a%ing the role %alidated by othersa%ing the role %alidated by others

G(egotiating ith the partner to ma"e changes in the role(egotiating ith the partner to ma"e changes in the role

)stablishing ;oundaries: &dDusting the ties ith family of)stablishing ;oundaries: &dDusting the ties ith family of

originorigin


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St%)e 1 coti"edSt%)e 1 coti"ed

IDENTITY BARGAINING:IDENTITY BARGAINING:

4ole adDustment in a relationship#4ole adDustment in a relationship#

• Identify , negotiate#Identify , negotiate#

• 4elationships help us disco%er4elationships help us disco%eroursel%es#oursel%es#

• &n intimate relationship reEuires us to &n intimate relationship reEuires us to

dene ho e are#dene ho e are#


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St%)e 1 coti"edSt%)e 1 coti"ed

IN?LA,SIN?LA,S

• .aughters ho are close sometimes.aughters ho are close sometimes

ha%e a problem letting go#ha%e a problem letting go#

• ;ut birth of child helps impro%e and;ut birth of child helps impro%e andchange this relationship#change this relationship#

• (eed to establish ne boundaries(eed to establish ne boundaries

ith in-lasith in-las


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STAGE ? CHILDBEARINGSTAGE ? CHILDBEARING

FAMILY FAMILY 73rom the birth of the rst child until

that child is 2 L years old9

.e%elopmental $as"s:

• &dDusting to increased family siAe

• Caring for an infant• >ro%iding a positi%e de%elopmental

en%ironment


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STAGE ? FAMILIESSTAGE ? FAMILIES

,ITH PRESCHOOLERS ,ITH PRESCHOOLERS7When the oldest child7When the oldest childis beteen the ages ofis beteen the ages of

2 L and M92 L and M9

.e%elopmental $as"s:.e%elopmental $as"s:

• Batisfying the needsBatisfying the needs

and interests ofand interests of

preschool childrenpreschool children

•Coping ith demandsCoping ith demandson energy andon energy and

attention ith lessattention ith less

pri%acy at homepri%acy at home


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STAGE ? FAMILIESSTAGE ? FAMILIES

,ITH SCHOOL AGE ,ITH SCHOOL AGECHILDRENCHILDREN7When the oldest child is beteen the7When the oldest child is beteen theages of M to N'9ages of M to N'9

.e%elopmental $as"s:.e%elopmental $as"s:

• >romoting educational achie%ement>romoting educational achie%ement• 3itting in the community of families3itting in the community of families

ith school-age childrenith school-age children


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STAGE . ? FAMILIESSTAGE . ? FAMILIES

,ITH TEENAGERS ,ITH TEENAGERS7When the oldest child is beteen7When the oldest child is beteenthe ages of N' and 209the ages of N' and 209

.e%elopmental $as"s:.e%elopmental $as"s:• &lloing and helping children &lloing and helping children

to become more independentto become more independent

• Coping ith their independenceCoping ith their independence

• .e%eloping ne interests.e%eloping ne interests

beyond child carebeyond child care


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STAGE - –STAGE - –

MIDDLE AGE MARRIAGESMIDDLE AGE MARRIAGES$LAUNCHING CENTER+$LAUNCHING CENTER+

• ay di%orce at this timeay di%orce at this time

ithout childrenithout children

present 7empty nestpresent 7empty nest

hich is not alayshich is not alaysnegati%e9#negati%e9#

• ;oomerang generation:;oomerang generation:

Children return homeChildren return home

due to highdue to highunemployment! housingunemployment! housing

cost! lo ages! di%orcecost! lo ages! di%orce

and personal problems#and personal problems#


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STAGE ? LATER LIFESTAGE ? LATER LIFE

MARRIAGES $EMPTYMARRIAGES $EMPTYNEST+NEST+7ore satisfying97ore satisfying9• igher incomeigher income• &lthough idos often ha%e &lthough idos often ha%e

nancial hardshipsnancial hardships• ;ut happily married idos;ut happily married idos

choose to remarry more oftenchoose to remarry more often• 1ld age not po%erty stric"en or1ld age not po%erty stric"en or

neglectedneglected

Bandich generation: ust raiseBandich generation: ust raisedependent children , dependentdependent children , dependentparents#parents#

Intermittent e6tended family: $a"e inIntermittent e6tended family: $a"e inother relati%es in time of need#other relati%es in time of need#

Does parenting end when children are grown & gone?Does parenting end when children are grown & gone?


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GRANDPARENTINGGRANDPARENTING

• @randparents *@randparents *

distance is biggestdistance is biggest

factor infactor in

in%ol%ementin%ol%ement

• 25= of preschool25= of preschool

children cared forchildren cared for

by grandparentsby grandparents

•CompanionateCompanionate

relationships mostrelationships most

common ithcommon ith

grandchildrengrandchildren


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INDIIDUAL TAS INDIIDUAL TAS

• Btage N 7NO-2N yrs9 .e%eloping autonomyBtage N 7NO-2N yrs9 .e%eloping autonomy

• Btage 2 722-2O yrs9 .e%eloping intimacy ,Btage 2 722-2O yrs9 .e%eloping intimacy ,occupational identicationoccupational identication

• Btage ' 72P-'N yrs9 .eciding about commitment toBtage ' 72P-'N yrs9 .eciding about commitment to

or" , marriageor" , marriage• Btage < 7'2-'P yrs9 .eepening commitmentsHBtage < 7'2-'P yrs9 .eepening commitmentsH

pursuing more long-range goalspursuing more long-range goals

• Btage 5 7


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MARITAL TAS MARITAL TAS

• Btage N 7NO-2N yrs9 Bhift from family of origin to neBtage N 7NO-2N yrs9 Bhift from family of origin to necommitmentcommitment

• Btage 2 722-2O yrs9 >ro%isional marital commitmentBtage 2 722-2O yrs9 >ro%isional marital commitment

• Btage ' 72P-'N yrs9 Commitment crisisH restlessnessBtage ' 72P-'N yrs9 Commitment crisisH restlessness

• Btage < 7'2-'P yrs9 >roducti%ityH children! or"!Btage < 7'2-'P yrs9 >roducti%ityH children! or"!friends! , marriagefriends! , marriage

• Btage 5 7


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INTIMACY INTIMACY

• Btage N 7NO-2N yrs9 3ragile intimacyBtage N 7NO-2N yrs9 3ragile intimacy• Btage 2 722-2O yrs9 .eepening but ambi%alent intimacyBtage 2 722-2O yrs9 .eepening but ambi%alent intimacy

• Btage ' 72P-'N yrs9 Increasing distance hile partnersBtage ' 72P-'N yrs9 Increasing distance hile partnersma"e up their minds about each otherma"e up their minds about each other

• Btage < 7'2-'P yrs9 Increase in intimacy in goodJBtage < 7'2-'P yrs9 Increase in intimacy in goodJ

marriagesH gradual distancing in badJ marriagesmarriagesH gradual distancing in badJ marriages• Btage 5 7


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PO,ER PO,ER

• Btage N 7NO-2N yrs9 $esting of poerBtage N 7NO-2N yrs9 $esting of poer

• Btage 2 722-2O yrs9 )stablish pattern of conictBtage 2 722-2O yrs9 )stablish pattern of conictresolutionresolution

• Btage ' 72P-'N yrs9 Bharp %ying for poer andBtage ' 72P-'N yrs9 Bharp %ying for poer and

dominancedominance• Btage < 7'2-'P yrs9 )stablish patterns of decisionBtage < 7'2-'P yrs9 )stablish patterns of decision

ma"ing and dominancema"ing and dominance

• Btage 5 7


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INDIIDUAL STAGEINDIIDUAL STAGE

• Btage N 7NO-2N yrs9 .e%elop rootsBtage N 7NO-2N yrs9 .e%elop roots

• Btage 2 722-2O yrs9 >ro%isionalBtage 2 722-2O yrs9 >ro%isional

adulthoodadulthood

• Btage ' 72P-'N yrs9 $ransition at age '0Btage ' 72P-'N yrs9 $ransition at age '0

• Btage < 7'2-'P yrs9 Bettling donBtage < 7'2-'P yrs9 Bettling don

• Btage 5 7


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RETIREMENTRETIREMENT

• )arlier G Q5=)arlier G Q5=

choose to retirechoose to retire

before age M5before age M5

7WY?97WY?9

• ore egalitarianore egalitarian

marriagesmarriages

• ighest degree ofighest degree of

marital satisfactionmarital satisfactionsince early marriagesince early marriage

• Impro%ed healthImpro%ed health


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Read Ann LandersRead Ann Landers

” ” Old fols are worth a fortune” Old fols are worth a fortune”


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CARING FOR AGEDCARING FOR AGED

Caregi%er ConictCaregi%er Conict

• )arlier unresol%ed antagonisms and conicts#)arlier unresol%ed antagonisms and conicts#

• Caregi%er8s inability to accept the relati%e8sCaregi%er8s inability to accept the relati%e8sincreasing dependence#increasing dependence#

• Conicting loyalties beteen spouse or children andConicting loyalties beteen spouse or children andcaring for the elderly#caring for the elderly#

• 4esentment toards the elderly relati%e for4esentment toards the elderly relati%e for

disrupting family routines#disrupting family routines#• 4esentment of lac" of in%ol%ement by other family4esentment of lac" of in%ol%ement by other family

members#members#

• &nger if elderly relati%e tries to manipulate others# &nger if elderly relati%e tries to manipulate others#

• Conicts o%er money and inheritance#Conicts o%er money and inheritance#

o could an o%er abundance of support do more hgood?

Can chronic illness help ith family cohesi%eness?


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COPING STRATEGIESCOPING STRATEGIES

• >lan for legal and nancial incapacities>lan for legal and nancial incapacities

• anage income and e6pensesanage income and e6penses

• &rrange for long term care &rrange for long term care

• &ssess capabilities of hole family unit &ssess capabilities of hole family unit

• .i%ide responsibilities among hole.i%ide responsibilities among hole

family unitfamily unit

• .etermine community bac"up ser%ices.etermine community bac"up ser%ices


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Mo#t co**o di#e%#e#Mo#t co**o di#e%#e#

%d c%"#e# o! de%t'%d c%"#e# o! de%t'

N# &rthritisN# &rthritis

2# ypertension2# ypertension

'# earing impairment'# earing impairment


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COPING STATEGIESCOPING STATEGIES

• a"e a place for the illness! anda"e a place for the illness! and

"eep balance in life#"eep balance in life#

• Seep communication open#Seep communication open#

• Culti%ate sources of support#Culti%ate sources of support#

• .e%elop good or"ing relationship.e%elop good or"ing relationship

ith healthcare professionals#ith healthcare professionals#Discuss in groups% hould a health care professional be 'detached”?Discuss in groups% hould a health care professional be 'detached”?

Do families interfere with the efforts of practitioners to help patients?Do families interfere with the efforts of practitioners to help patients?

hould healthcare professionals address things be(ond the ph(sical such ashould healthcare professionals address things be(ond the ph(sical such as

economical) emotional) ps(chological and spiritual issues?economical) emotional) ps(chological and spiritual issues?


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DEATHDEATH

,HY STUDY ABOUT ,HY STUDY ABOUT

DEATH3DEATH3• 1ur society is unusual! e shut death in a closet1ur society is unusual! e shut death in a closet• .eath is a natural part of life.eath is a natural part of life• .eath is often emotional and unpleasant.eath is often emotional and unpleasant• .eath must be faced.eath must be faced

• >art of our society>art of our society• We used to be more open about deathWe used to be more open about death• >eople used to die at home more often>eople used to die at home more often• 3unerals and %ieings ere at home3unerals and %ieings ere at home

• 3riends and family ere there at moment of3riends and family ere there at moment ofdeathdeath

• Illnesses ere shortIllnesses ere short


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DEATHDEATH• .)(I&+: remo%e dead from home! not telling children#.)(I&+: remo%e dead from home! not telling children#

• )T>+1I$&$I1(: .esensitiAed and deny the realities of)T>+1I$&$I1(: .esensitiAed and deny the realities ofdeathdeath

• 41&(I$CIU&$I1(: $hose lead to thin" of death as41&(I$CIU&$I1(: $hose lead to thin" of death asbeautiful can be disillusioned#beautiful can be disillusioned#

3ear: 3ear of death "eeps us ali%e#3ear: 3ear of death "eeps us ali%e#

.enial healthy! it "eeps us from.enial healthy! it "eeps us from

delling on morbidity of death#delling on morbidity of death#

&c"noledging that death e6ists can &c"noledging that death e6ists canhelp us prioritiAe , appreciate#help us prioritiAe , appreciate#

Do handout '!ill (ou li"e to be *++?”Do handout '!ill (ou li"e to be *++?”


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STAGES OF DEATHSTAGES OF DEATH

& dying person should not & dying person should not

be e6pected to beha%e in abe e6pected to beha%e in a

certain manner! onlycertain manner! only

hisFher on ay#hisFher on ay#

• DDenial , isolationenial , isolation

• A A ngernger

• BBargainingargaining• DDepressionepression

• A A cceptancecceptance


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,HAT NOT TO SAY TO THE ,HAT NOT TO SAY TO THE

BEREAEDBEREAED• Cheer upCheer up

• $ime to heal all ounds$ime to heal all ounds

• Come on! you need toCome on! you need to

get o%er thisget o%er this

• We ant the old youJWe ant the old youJ

bac" bac"

• I8ll help you get rid ofI8ll help you get rid of

their thingstheir things

• $hey8re better o/ $hey8re better o/

• It as @od8s illIt as @od8s ill

• Call me if you need meCall me if you need me


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,HAT TO SAY TO THE ,HAT TO SAY TO THE

BEREAEDBEREAED• It8s 1S to cryIt8s 1S to cry

• I ant you to "no I8m thin"ing about youI ant you to "no I8m thin"ing about you

• I8m sad for youI8m sad for you

• I care about youI care about you

• I8m here if you ant to tal" I8m here if you ant to tal" • You don8t ha%e to be strong or apologiAe for crying#J You don8t ha%e to be strong or apologiAe for crying#J

.o accept them and their feelings.o accept them and their feelings

+et them cry hen they ant to+et them cry hen they ant to+et them tal" about the dead person 7$hey are in their+et them tal" about the dead person 7$hey are in their

thoughts often9thoughts often9


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DEFINITIONS OF DEATHDEFINITIONS OF DEATH

• +)@&+ .)&$: Court says it has+)@&+ .)&$: Court says it has

irre%ersible cessation to total brainirre%ersible cessation to total brain

functionfunction

• $)1+1@IC&+ .)&$: 1ccurs hen$)1+1@IC&+ .)&$: 1ccurs hensoul lea%es the bodysoul lea%es the body

• ).IC&+ .)&$: 1ccurs hen).IC&+ .)&$: 1ccurs hen

functions of human life stopfunctions of human life stop• (4)C)>$IVI$Y , (4)B>1(BIVI$Y:(4)C)>$IVI$Y , (4)B>1(BIVI$Y:

Irre%ersible comaIrre%ersible coma


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DEFINITIONS OF DEATHDEFINITIONS OF DEATH

coti"edcoti"ed• (1 1V))($B 14 ;4)&$I(@:(1 1V))($B 14 ;4)&$I(@:

(o muscle mo%ement or respiration(o muscle mo%ement or respiration

for at least N hourfor at least N hour

• (1 4)3+)T)B: >upils 6ed and(1 4)3+)T)B: >upils 6ed anddilated G ill not respond to brightdilated G ill not respond to bright

lightslights

• 3+&$ )+)C$41)(C) >&+@4&:3+&$ )+)C$41)(C) >&+@4&:))@ G no brain a%es for a period of))@ G no brain a%es for a period of

timetime


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DEATH OCABULARY DEATH OCABULARY

• &$1>BY: >ost mortem e6am &$1>BY: >ost mortem e6am

• ;)4)&V))($: ;eing grie%ed by the;)4)&V))($: ;eing grie%ed by the

loss of a lo%ed one#loss of a lo%ed one#

• C&BS)$: Bmall chest or bo6 7co/in9C&BS)$: Bmall chest or bo6 7co/in9• C133I(: & bo6 or chest for burying aC133I(: & bo6 or chest for burying a

corpsecorpse

• C4)&$I1(: $o reduce a dead body toC4)&$I1(: $o reduce a dead body toashes by burningashes by burning

• C4)&$14I: & furnace for cremationC4)&$14I: & furnace for cremation


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coti"edcoti"ed• C4Y>$: & chamber or %ault holly or partlyC4Y>$: & chamber or %ault holly or partly

underground! a %ault under the main oor ofunderground! a %ault under the main oor of

a churcha church

• .)&$ C)4$I3IC&$): & certicate that.)&$ C)4$I3IC&$): & certicate thatcerties the death of a personcerties the death of a person

• .)C)&B).: (o longer li%ing.)C)&B).: (o longer li%ing

• );&+: $o treat a dead body so as to);&+: $o treat a dead body so as to

protect from decayprotect from decay• )>I$&>: &n inscription on or at a tomb or)>I$&>: &n inscription on or at a tomb or

gra%e in memory of the one buried theregra%e in memory of the one buried there


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coti"edcoti"ed• )+1@Y: & commendatory formal statement or set)+1@Y: & commendatory formal statement or set

orationoration

• )$&(&BI&: $he act or practice of "illing indi%iduals)$&(&BI&: $he act or practice of "illing indi%idualsthat are hopelessly sic" or inDured for reasons of mercy#that are hopelessly sic" or inDured for reasons of mercy#

• 3()4&+ 1): &n establishment ith facilities for3()4&+ 1): &n establishment ith facilities forthe preparation of the dead for burial or cremation! forthe preparation of the dead for burial or cremation! forthe %ieing of the body and for funerals#the %ieing of the body and for funerals#

• )&4B): & %ehicle for con%eying the dead to the gra%e)&4B): & %ehicle for con%eying the dead to the gra%e

• I()4I$&(C): $he act of coming into possession ofI()4I$&(C): $he act of coming into possession ofsomethingsomething

• I($)4)($: $he act or ceremony of depositing theI($)4)($: $he act or ceremony of depositing thedead body in the earth or the tomb#dead body in the earth or the tomb#


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coti"edcoti"ed• &B1+): +arge tomb usually a&B1+): +arge tomb usually a

stone building for places of entombmentstone building for places of entombmentfor dead abo%e the ground#for dead abo%e the ground#

• 14@): & place here the bodies of14@): & place here the bodies ofpersons found dead are "ept untilpersons found dead are "ept untilidentied and claimed by relati%es oridentied and claimed by relati%es orare released for burial#are released for burial#

• 14$ICI&(: nderta"er14$ICI&(: nderta"er• 14$&4Y: 4elating to the burial of14$&4Y: 4elating to the burial of

the deadthe dead


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coti"edcoti"ed• 1;I$&4Y: & notice of a persons death1;I$&4Y: & notice of a persons death

ith a short biographical accountith a short biographical account

• >&++;)&4)4B: >eople ho help to>&++;)&4)4B: >eople ho help to

carry the co/in at a funeralcarry the co/in at a funeral• >Y4): & combustible heap for burning>Y4): & combustible heap for burning

a dead body as a funeral %ilea dead body as a funeral %ile

• 4)I(C&4(&$I1(: 4ebirth in ne4)I(C&4(&$I1(: 4ebirth in ne

bodies or forms of lifebodies or forms of life• B&4C1>&@B: & stone co/inB&4C1>&@B: & stone co/in


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coti"edcoti"ed• $1;: &n e6ca%ation in hich a$1;: &n e6ca%ation in hich a

corpse is buriedcorpse is buried

• 4(: & %essel that is particularly an4(: & %essel that is particularly an

ornamental %ase on a pedestal toornamental %ase on a pedestal topreser%e the ashes after cremationpreser%e the ashes after cremation

• V&+$: & burial chamber V&+$: & burial chamber

• W&S): $he atch held o%er the bodyW&S): $he atch held o%er the bodyof a dread person prior to burial andof a dread person prior to burial andsometimes accompanied by festi%itysometimes accompanied by festi%ity


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CULTURESCULTURES

• eish: Q days of eish: Q days of

restrictions li"erestrictions li"e

sha%ing! or"ing!sha%ing! or"ing!

se6! NN months prayse6! NN months pray

for parent dailyfor parent daily

• e6ico: .eade6ico: .ead

honored ith giftshonored ith giftsof food! prayer!of food! prayer!

nightly %igilsnightly %igils


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OCABULARY cot2d OCABULARY cot2d

• M# 3amily +ife Cycle: $he families changing rolesM# 3amily +ife Cycle: $he families changing roles

and relationships at %arious stages! beginningand relationships at %arious stages! beginning

ith marriage and ending ith death of a spouse#ith marriage and ending ith death of a spouse#

• Q# oneymoon )/ect: $endency of nelyQ# oneymoon )/ect: $endency of nely

married couples to o%erloo" problems#married couples to o%erloo" problems#• O# ospice: & place or program caring forO# ospice: & place or program caring for

terminally ill! emphasiAing patient care andterminally ill! emphasiAing patient care and

family support#family support#

• P# Identity ;argaining: $he process of rolesP# Identity ;argaining: $he process of rolesadDustments in a relationship! in%ol%ingadDustments in a relationship! in%ol%ing

identifying ith a role! role %alidated by others!identifying ith a role! role %alidated by others!

negotiated ith partnernegotiated ith partner


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OCABULARY cot2d OCABULARY cot2d

• N0# Intermittent )6tended 3amily:N0# Intermittent )6tended 3amily:

$a"ing into the family other relati%es$a"ing into the family other relati%es

in times of needin times of need

• NN# Bandich @eneration:NN# Bandich @eneration:

Indi%iduals ho care for both theirIndi%iduals ho care for both their

on children and aging parents aton children and aging parents at

the same time#the same time#

life cycle 1

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