limericks galore 2014

8/10/2019 Limericks Galore 2014

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Lim ericks Galore

By Peter [email protected] : +27 82 4982560http://limericksgalore.blogspot.com

Limericks GaloreCopyright 2009 by Peter Finlayson

All rights reserved.

Cover art and illustrations courtesy of : Google Images and MS Clipart
http://limericksgalore.blogspot.com/http://limericksgalore.blogspot.com/


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Foreword

This book is a collection of fun limericks and the theme is a global one. Each limerickmakes reference to a country or city in different parts of the world. The chapters arebroken down into continents and sub-continents. There are 70 limericks is this book.

ENJOY !!


All rights reserved. http://limericksgalore.blogspot.com


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T ABLE OF C ONTENTS

Sub-continent

Europe

South America

Australasia Asia

Africa North America

Crossword

Rate this eBook

Limericks Galore


All rights reserved. http://limericksgalore.blogspot.com


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There was once a man from Calcutta

Who never enjoyed eating butter

He would cover his bread

With jam instead

And throw the butter in the gutter


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There was a young lad from Dubai Who never would laugh or cry

They told him a joke And gave him a poke

And still he stood by and by.


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There was a young man fromLahore

Who chose to be round, nottall

He ate lots of curry

In a real great hurry

And now he looks just like a ball


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A baseballer from Pakistan

Was determined not to be outdone

He batted with grace

And ran for home base

And often hed hit a home run


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A soldier who fought in Sri Lanka

In his youth was a star slam dunker

He would dodge the grenades

And hit them straight back with spades

As he took cover in his military bunker


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A sherper who lived in Tibet

Claimed the mountain for him was no threat

Up Everest hed climbThrough the snow and the slime

And would always proclaim it No sweat!


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There was a clown from Nepal

Who really was on the ball

He would juggle cups and plates

While the audience awaits

For the cups and the plates to fall


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There was a tramp from Bhutan

I believe his name was Dan

He roamed the plains

Amongst the ruins and remains

Looking for scraps for his clan


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An athlete from Bangladesh

Needed to cool and refresh

He was on a long run

And it wasnt for fun

And sprinkled water onto his flesh


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There was a young lady from Spain

Who loved to dancein the rain

One very wet day

She fell into the bay

And never went dancing again!


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There was a meat eater from Cork

Who loved his beef and his pork

He would eat with his hands

With his plate in the sands

And not use a knife or a fork


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There was a man from Gibralter

They had which had caused them to falter.

Cause of too many rows

They retook their vows

Who led his wife to the alter


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There was a hunter from Kiev

And the buck he was forced to leave

And his knife got stuck

He crept up to a buck

Who kept a knife up his sleeve


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With her friends on a plot

A very young girl from Helsinki

Her name I believe was Minki

She played quite a lot

And their names were Dinki and Pinki


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and enjoyed life thereafter in peace.

There was a young sheep in Greece

Who was lacking a warm woolly fleece

He was given a coat

From a friendly goat


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There was a painter from Warsaw

Without any blemish or flaw

On the top of a mountain

He sketched a large fountain

Who loved to paint and to draw


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because he never knew which way he went.

There was a young swimmer from Kent

Who had a back that was bent

In lane one he would dive

And end up in five


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There was a bird from Bern

Which I believe was a ternIt would fly round the city And take great, great pity On the heads of the statues in Bern


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And threw it with force at a boa

There was a young guy from Genoa

Who was a very good thrower

He was scared of a snake

So he picked up a rake


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There was once an old man from Rome

Who decided to light up his dome

He struck a match

On his very bald patch

And set fire to his dome and his home


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There was a cheese-maker from Harlem

As he raced down the ice shute in tandom

Which he ate at high speed

He loved cheddar cheese

Who loved to ride the slalom


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There was a chef from Belgrade

And hed dish up his stew with a spade

His soups were like sand

His food tasted bland

Who battled to make the grade


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A winemaker who came from Lisboa

Till the rain came down slower and slower

In a vat hed remain

It started to rain

He thought his name was Noah


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There was a strongman from Brussels

And frighten his eight jack russells

And cause his biceps to grow

He would put on a show

Who loved to flex his muscles


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There was an old granny from Eira

Whos name by the way, was Sarah

She made up her face

And dressed in fine lace

And now looks so much fairer


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As on top she decided to dance .

There was a young damsel in France

Who really enjoyed a good prance

She climbed Notre Dame

And came to no harm


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Who was good at playing the tuba

And said goodbye to her past

There was a young lady from Cuba

She took a very long blast

As she swallowed the tuba in Cuba


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There was a pirate from Peru

Who was very rude to his crew

They shot him with a blank

And made him walk the plank

And served him up in the stew

There as another man from Per


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There was another man from Peru

Who stuck his fingers with glue

It happened at night

He got one heckave fright

And he didnt have a clue what to do

A ll b ll l f B il


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A volleyball player from Brazil

Was blessed with a great deal of skill

He spent time on the beach

And the youngsters hed teach

And spectators he managed to thrill

A zoo-keeper from Argentina


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A zoo keeper from Argentina

Needed to feed a hyena

He stepped into the cage

Caused the hyena to rage

And the keeper pranced like a ballerina


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There was a jockey from Chile

Who loved to ride on a filly

He took part in a race

They came in first place

And the crowd went all crazy and silly


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In Paraguay there lived a clown

Around the town hed walk up and down

Hed laugh at the people and crack a joke

Theyd laugh at him back and give him a poke

But this happy clown would never frown

A goal-keeper from Panama City


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A goal keeper from Panama City

Was short, stocky, strong and gritty

He played many a match

But was unable to catch

A ball, which was a great pity!


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In Colombia there was a man with a sword

Who never liked being ignored

He would love to taunt

And his long sword flaunt

And think of nothing untoward !!

There was a gal from Bolivia


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There was a gal from Bolivia

Whose christian name was Olivia

And in the end it was all trivia

She would make a huge fuss

About riding on a bus


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There was once a granny


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g yfrom Perth

as she sang of her life on this earth.

and she created a thrill

Her voice was quite shrill

who sang for all she was worth


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An Aussie man had no heart

He started to fall apart

He needed an op

But started to pop

And the doctors never knew where to start

An accountant from downtown Brisbane


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An accountant from downtown Brisbane

Drank a bottle and a half of champagne

He felt nothing at first

And then an insatiable thirst

And his head was in considerable pain

A g d f S d


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An organ donor from Sydney

Decided to pass on his kidney

He went for the op

But the surgeons had to stop

cause his wife started screaming like a banshee!


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A rally driver from Darwin

Took his 4X4 for a spin

He went seriously off-road

nearly drove over a toad

Which almost jumped out of its skin!


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A rugby player from Tonga

Could not seem to wait any longer

He loved being in the scrum

Alongside his chum

Who was bigger and broader and stronger!


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A poor hobo who lived in Dunedin

Used to eat what came out of a bin

Hed spend his time having many fits

Looking around for tasty titbits

And often he just couldnt win!


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There was a bright girl from Peking who was allergic to a bee sting

she once got a biteand got quite a frightas her arm was put in a sling

There was once a young man from


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Hong Kong

off the stilts he bought for a song.

and took many a fall

he wanted to be tall

who was neither short nor long

There was once a big man from Japan


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Who ate his rice from a pan

He also loved fish

Which he ate from a dish

And sushi and noodles from a can

An apprentice chef from Korea


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An apprentice chef from Korea

Caused his customers to get diarrhea

He made a mistake with a cake

He used a dirty garden rake

And he really had no idea !

A ping pong player from Singapore


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Always battled to remember the score

He had a great serve

Which caused the ball to curve

And his opponent would fall on the floor !

A soldier from Southern Vietnam


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Was part of a military scam

He crept out one night

And ran back in full flight

In search of a battering ram


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There was a young lad from Libya

Who fell and fractured his tibiaThere was quite a crack

When he fell on his back

While running down south inNamibia

The was once a young man from Mali


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The was once a young man from Mali

With his spar mate who was a Bengali

cause he would fight all day

They nicknamed him Clay

Who believed he was the great Ali

There was a young boy from Uganda


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As it only liked staying on the veranda

which was really quite grim

He taught it to swim

Whos favourite pet was a panda

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There was a young girl from Sudan

And was soon the star of her clan

And lots of money shed make

A cake she would bake

who conjured a masterful plan

There was an old man from Zim


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There was an old man from Zim.

On an outdoor safari

They went to Harare

Who had a friend called Jim

And saw Tim and his twin brother Wim

In far north-eastern Botswana


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Lived a seamstress by the name of Jana

She would always impress

With a beautiful dress

And a matching colour bandana

Just off the coast of Morocco


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Was found a rather large mako

It had swum onto ground

And never made a sound

And was found by a fisherman called Jaco

There was a thief from Gabon


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Who proved to be quite a con

The locals hed attack

And steal clothes off their back

And sell them for close to a song!


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Near the great lakes of Wisconsin


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And came out as clean as a pin

In Lake Michigan

He went for a swim

Lived a hillbilly named Johnson

On the way to a show in Wisconsin


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Was a cowboy named Abe Johnson

And missed the show and the swansong!

And went totally off course

He fell off his horse

There was this young guy fromMi i


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Missouri

And ended up in front of a jury .

He drank beers through the day

It was no work and all play

Who worked in the local brewery

There was an ape from Montana


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And her owners called her Joanna

She liked lots of fruits

And she also ate roots

But her favourite food was a banana

There was a bird from Kentucky


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He was obviously not very lucky

And became Kentucky fried

But one day he died

Who was known to be very plucky

There was a rancher from Texas


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There was a rancher from Texas

And injured his solar plexus

When it quickly changed course

He fell off his horse

Who rode a horse called Lexus

There was a man from Dakota.


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Or if it was a Ford or Toyota

Or run into the ground

Whether his car was sound

Who didnt care an iota

A hiker from Colorado


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And only drank pino-colado

Without too many smiles

He hiked twenty miles

Decided to prove his bravado

There was a Scot from Kansas


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Made of plastic, nylon and canvas

So he lived in a tent

His budget was spent

Whose name was Billy St Angus

There was a young girl from Nevada


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For chillies and spiced enchillada

Which put them in the mood

They both liked hot food

Who married a man called Estrada

There was a young girl called Dinah


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And was the cause of a huge angina.

To eat lots of meat

She thought it a feat

Who was born in North Carolina

In far away Pennsylvania


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He would send it to outer Tanzania

And he claimed to have said

He loved to make bread

Lived a baker called Alfred Dania

In the State of Oklahoma


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And it gave off a fantastic aroma

Which tasted real good

He cooked some great food

A chef achieved his diploma

There was a farmer from Maine


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That he went short of wheat and of grain

And there was many a day

His crops washed away

Who experienced a great deal of rain

Way down in Mississippi


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And then he felt far from zippy .

Until he was finally broke

A pipe he would smoke

Lived a down and out old hippy

There was a dancer from Vancouver


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until she fell into a louvre

Who proved to be quite a mover

She pranced up and down

All the streets in the town

Way down South in Arizona


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And together then invented the sonar

Whose name was Tim Procter

She worked for a doctor

Lived a young nurse called Ramona

An actor from Idaho


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Who was kidnapped and left in the snow.

Was to rescue a dame

His main claim to fame

Was chosen to be in a show

There was once a beggar in New York


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and eat pork with a knife and afork

Who never could find any work

Hed laze around all day

Without any pay

A pretty actress called Diana


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And was forced to wear a bandana

At the back of the bed

She bumped her head

Was born in the state Lousiana

An IT student from Utah


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And he needed some help from his tutor

Who said Thats enough!!

He went to his Prof

Managed to crash his computer

There was a horse from Wyoming


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There was a horse from Wyoming

And look forward to its daily combing

Like a captive horse freed

It would trot at great speed

Who loved to go a-roaming

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