7Living in a

Complaint Free World

 Based on the book and movie by William Bowen

What will we look at today?

Introduction to the "complaint free" mindset

How can this mindset make your life better-at work and at home. 

Learn about the relationship between complaining and being assertive

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we

think.”

Buddha

What is a complaint?

On your card, write how you define a complaint.

How do you know when someone is complaining?

A complaint is more than a statement of fact—it is a complaint when

you want something changed but are not talking to the person

who can change it!

“Complaints are l ike bad breath—we not ice i t when i t comes out of someone e lse’s mouth but not when

i t comes f rom our own”

Can we agree on this?

There is too much complaining in the world.

The state of the world is not the way we would like it.

Are these related? We are focusing on what is wrong rather

than focusing on the vision for a healthy, happy, harmonious world.

Think about the nightly news

Impact of complaining:

Psychosomatic illness--67% estimated as a result of thinking sick

Dozens of research studies (positive and negative)

Forbes.com—7 of the top 7 prescription drugs are for illnesses that are exacerbated by stress

When you complain about your health, you are putting out negative statements that your body hears

Impact on our children

How often do you complain?

If you complain more than once a month—you may be falling into the habit of habitual complaining

We become an “ouch” looking for a hurt

We notice complaints from others but not from ourselves

Why do we complain? To get sympathy To gain attention To avoid doing something Misery not only loves company, but

it derives validation from it

**If we create a culture of no complaining, those chronic complainers become ostracized

Is it ok to gossip?

Sure…as long as

What you are saying about the absent person is complimentary

You would repeat, word for word, what you are saying if the person was present

Griping Monty Python skit--Four

Yorkshiremen Do you want to be the winner? Do people who are confident and

secure brag?

Successful people have challenges, but they use them like a slingshot—the harder the time, the farther they pull the slingshot back and the higher they fly—but you have to release the “stone”

Criticism tears someone down, and when we debase someone we actually give that

person implicit permission to act in similar ways in the future

7

As you become a

happier person,

You can raise the overall level of

happiness in the world!

What is the benefit…

What a person believes about their health leads to the belief becoming real for them

Our thoughts create our world and our words indicate our thoughts

How does it work?

1.Put on a bracelet2.Every time you catch

yourself complaining or gossiping, move the bracelet over to the other arm

3.Try this for 21 days

4 stages of change

Unconscious Incompetence

Conscious IncompetenceConscious CompetenceUnconscious

Competence

“but every great thing happened because someone complained about it…”

Martin Luther King, Jr— “I have a dream…”

Robert Kennedy— “There are those that look at things the

way they are, and ask why? I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?”

Rosa Parks didn’t complain about where she could not sit—she moved to where she should sit

Dissatisfaction is the beginning, but it can’t be the end!

What can you do? Read the book Take the challenge “No Moan Mondays” Take the time to breathe before

you speak—especially in a challenging situation

Don’t talk about what is wrong—focus on how you would like it to be—what is BEYOND the problem

Small changesInstead of… Problem Have to Setback Enemy Pain Complaint Struggle

Try… Opportunity Get to Challenge Friend/Teacher Signal Request Journey

When your mouth stops expressing negative thoughts, your mind will find other, happier thoughts to create

Be a grape… Uva Uvam Videndo Varia Fit One grape changes color when it sees

another. One grape will ripen and in doing so,

send out a vibration, enzyme, fragrance that signals to the other grapes that it is time to ripen.

Be the grape that changes the vineyard!

“A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted”

Will Bowen