managing your wife - let god be true! · pdf filemanaging your wife •god made her for ......

Managing Your Wife

Managing Your Wife

• God made her for you (I Cor 11:9)

• You are to lead; she is to follow

• Christian wives want to please

• But she may default to imbalance

• Every road has two ditches

Roads Have Two Ditches

We want the center of the road

Avoiding the Ditches

• We want the center of the road

• Where they paint the yellow lines!

• Reject the over-manage ditch

• Reject the under-manage ditch

• We want the perfect will of God

What Is a Wife For?

• Companionship

• Sex

• Domestic help

• Income

• Homeschooling

• Bearing children

• Church servant

• Hostess

She Needs Direction

• How can she know your priorities?

• She may not default to your needs

• You may be disappointed by her

• You may be an onerous husband

• She may miss her full potential

Your Wife Is for Joy

Live joyfully with the wife whom

thou lovest all the days of the life of

thy vanity, which he hath given thee

under the sun, all the days of thy

vanity: for that is thy portion in this

life, and in thy labour which thou

takest under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 9:9

Managing Your Wife

• If she is not perfect, why not?

• Is over-management at fault?

• Is under-management at fault?

• You lose blessing in either case

• God will expect an account soon

You Are Responsible

And thy desire shall be to thy

husband, and he shall rule over

thee.

Genesis 3:16

You Are in Charge

But I would have you know, that the

head of every man is Christ; and the

head of the woman is the man; and

the head of Christ is God.

I Corinthians 11:3

Why Love Your Wife?

Husbands, love your wives, even as

Christ also loved the church, and gave

himself for it;

That he might sanctify and cleanse it

with the washing of water by the

word,

That he might present it to himself a

glorious church, not having spot, or

wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it

should be holy and without blemish.

Ephesians 5:25-27

Loving Yourself

So ought men to love their wives as

their own bodies. He that loveth his

wife loveth himself.

For no man ever yet hated his own

flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth

it, even as the Lord the church:

Ephesians 5:28-29

A Good Manager

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with

them according to knowledge,

giving honour unto the wife, as unto

the weaker vessel, and as being

heirs together of the grace of life;

that your prayers be not hindered.

I Peter 3:7

Cherish Your Wife

• Treat her as very special to you

• Let her know she is important

• Your goal is her perfection as wife

• You must encourage and help her

• You delight in the resulting wife

Nourish Your Wife

• Provide what she needs to grow

• Give her the direction to grow

• Allow her time and opportunity

• Encourage her in her growth

• Praise her as she gets better

You Know What To Do

• You have had good bosses

• You have had bad bosses

• But you get to quit bad jobs!

• She never gets to quit as wife

• She is God’s daughter to you

Roads Have Two Ditches

We want the center of the road

Avoiding the Ditches

• We want the center of the road

• Where they paint the yellow lines!

• Reject the over-manage ditch

• Reject the under-manage ditch

• We want the perfect will of God

What Is Your Ditch?

• If she is not perfect, why not?

• Is your over-management at fault?

• Is it under-management at fault?

• You lose blessing in either case

• God will expect an account soon

It Is Your Loss

• Hearing sad husbands hurts

• Seeing bad management hurts

• Knowing that you’re losing hurts

• She also misses God’s best for her

• Your children will know the error!

Maximize Your Wife!

• She can please you much more

• Are you breaking her eager spirit?

• Are you letting her default to folly

• She needs only your direction

• But is your direction intelligent?!

A Three-Talent Wife

3

A Four-Talent Wife

4

A Five-Talent Wife

5

What Is a Wife For?

• Companionship

• Sex

• Domestic help

• Income

• Homeschooling


• Church servant

• Hostess

Work Outside Job

Available CompanionWork Outside Job


Ente

rta

in

in

g


Ente

rta

in

in

gC

hu

rch

S

ervan

t

Consider the Diagram

• The arrows are conflicting duties

• Better … is farther out any arrow

• More … is farther out any arrow

• How many arrows can she cover?

• You must direct scarce resource

A Three-Talent Wife

3

A Four-Talent Wife

4

A Five-Talent Wife

5






• You must direct scarce resources

Watch a Wife’s Distortion

• This man wants a full quiver, now!

• 7 children are good; 12 are better!

• He also wants a Shulamite (S.S.)

• He wants a very sexual lover daily

• Foolish priorities distort a wife.

A Distorted Wife

4

A Distorted Wife

• His two priorities contradict

• A wife has limited resources

• To do both well, other things slide

• There are many uncovered arrows

• The dream guarantees future loss

Distortion in Many Shapes

4

Distortion in Many Shapes

4Department

Manager


Ente

rta

in

in

gC

hu

rch

S

ervan

t

A Three-Talent Wife

3

A Four-Talent Wife

4

A Five-Talent Wife

5






• You must direct scarce resources

Are You Over Managing?

• Is your wife hopelessly defeated?

• If so, she is operating at only 50%

• If so, you lose God’s great gift

• If so, your children will resent you

• If so, God will judge now and later

Are You Under Managing?

• Does your wife produce little?

• The virtuous woman produced!

• If so, you lose God’s great helper

• If so, your children will be lazy

• If so, life with her will get worse

Maximize Your Wife!

• She can please you much more

• Are you breaking her eager spirit?

• Are you letting her default to folly

• She needs only your direction

• But is your direction intelligent?!

You Do Not Get it Yet?

• You have $1.00 for a perfect wife

• She can be worth it a minute, 24/7

• You must allocate scarce pennies

• More of a thing … more pennies

• Over- or under-manage will show

What Is a Wife For?

• Companionship

• Sex

• Domestic help

• Income

• Homeschooling


• Church servant

• Hostess

Don’t Forget These:

• Appearance

• Taxi Service

• Bookkeeper

• Mary with Jesus

• Debt Stress

• Child Training

Allocate Your $1.00

• Companion: 2 cents for each 30 min a

day dedicated to you and what you do

• Sex: 5 cents for willing if you ask; 10 for

ravishing initiator most days

• Domestic: 10 cents for clean, orderly;

20 for goddess in Southern Living home

• Income: 40 cents for clerk; 50 for an

administrator; 60 for engineer/manager

• Homeschooling: 3 cents per child

Allocate Your $1.00

• How many children: 5 cents per child

• Church servant: 2 cents for often; 4 for

always.

• Hostess: 4 cents for once a week; 8 for

twice a week; 12 for thrice.

• Appearance: 5 cents for acceptable; 10

for knockout that fulfills your desires!

• Taxi Service: 3 cents per daily trip

Allocate Your $1.00

• Bookkeeper: 4 cents for some; 8 for

all

• Mary with Jesus: 2 cents for

Martha; 4 for Mary.

• Debt Stress: 3 cents for any debt; 6

for big debt; 9 for debt when she

does the bookkeeping

• Child Training: 2 cents for each

child, when she must do most of it

Bully Bob

Companionship .04 I gotta have my sweetheart near to me!

Sex .10 I’m her man! Come and get me, babe!

Domestic .10 I can be merciful; I let this slide a little

Income .00 I’d never make my wife work like that

Homeschooling .21 Weren’t wives made for that after sex?

Bearing children .35 A full quiver is God’s will! 7 ain’t nuthin!

Church servant .02 She can’t go all the time, cuz I need her

Hostess .04 Fixin for my buds once a week is easy

Appearance .10 Married to me; she better be hot!

Taxi Service .06 Boys needs sports; I’ll read the paper.

Bookkeeper .08 She’s better with #’s; I played in school.

Mary with Jesus .00 I can let her slide here; it ain’t crucial.

Debt Stress .09 Course we got debt; boys need toys.

Child Training .14 I see ‘em before bed; she’s home all day

Wife Is Defeated 1.33 She is overworked 33% every single day

Sorry Sam

Companionship .04 I married her to be near me all the time.

Sex .00 She lets me once a week or so. Its ok.

Domestic .05 We share doin this, cuz she works hard.

Income .00 Women are keepers at home. Period.

Homeschooling .00 Our children are not in school yet.

Bearing children .10 She works so hard with our two tots.

Church servant .02 I want her to be godly and help a little.

Hostess .04 Once a week we can handle it hon, ok?

Appearance .05 She looks better than me without effort.

Taxi Service .00 We just have two babies; no trips yet.

Bookkeeper .00 The checkbook would be too much. No.

Mary with Jesus .00 I ain’t got this one figured out yet.

Debt Stress .03 Yea, she spends as much as I do.

Child Training .02 I split it with her; she’s often tired.

Man Defeated .35 She under works 65% every single day!

Consider Bob and Sam

• Bully Bob over manages his wife.

• She’ll quit, run away, or die soon.

• Sorry Sam under manages his.

• He gets little; she learns bad habits.

• Both lose; wives hurt; God frowns.

Cash Carl

Companionship .04 I need her near me after her long day.

Sex .05 She works hard; I can give a little here.

Domestic .10 After all she does, I’ll let things slide.

Income .60 She is a branch manager; thank you!

Homeschooling .00 My wife works hard to pay for school.

Bearing children .15 School bills would go up with more kids

Church servant .00 She is usually tired, so she stays home.

Hostess .04 I have to protect my cash cow, right?

Appearance .10 She looks good at work and with me.

Taxi Service .00 I run the kids around when they need it

Bookkeeper .08 She has an MBA; I leave it all to her.

Mary with Jesus .02 This is important; I hope she has time.

Debt Stress .00 Our combined income paid off our debts

Child Training .04 I do most of it as I should; she’s tired.

Wife Is Defeated 1.22 She is overworked 22% every single day

Retired Roger

Companionship .10 We do lots of stuff together being alone

Sex .00 Sex ain’t something we fuss about now

Domestic .05 No kids; me home to help; she’s cruisin.

Income .00 With social security, we can sleep in.

Homeschooling .00 No more kids! Schools out!

Bearing children .00 We have two, but they are on their own.

Church servant .04 She helps wherever she can anytime.

Hostess .04 We have enough time for once a week.

Appearance .00 That’s what younger women worry over

Taxi Service .00 Like I said, no more kids! Schools out!

Bookkeeper .00 I have the time now; I do it all.

Mary with Jesus .04 This is important; she combs the word!

Debt Stress .00 We paid off everything years ago.

Child Training .00 Like I said, no more kids! Schools out!

Man is Defeated .27 She is under utilized 73% every day

Consider Carl and Roger

• Carl has great income from his wife.

• What are the family consequences?

• Roger and wife have let work go.

• What could they do with their time?

• Error is less, but still mismanaged.

How To Spend Your $1.00

• You have $1.00 for perfect wife

• God has set some priorities

• You set the rest by your desires

• Over $1.00, you over manage.

• Under $1.00, you under manage.

Godly Management

• You are the loser, if you do not!

• Most would quit their wife’s job!

• Are you over-managing?

• Are you under-managing?

• You lose; she loses; God judges.

managing your wife - let god be true! · pdf filemanaging your wife •god made her for ......

Documents