may 2011 - pat driediger, ca
DESCRIPTION
All FIred Up - Chartered MediatorTRANSCRIPT
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All Fired UpAnger is the second emotion
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Agenda
• Case Scenario• Definition of anger• Expressions of anger• Anger Cycle• Purpose of anger• Benefits of anger• Using anger constructively• Responding to anger in others• Q & A
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Pat (mediator)
Les (former -employee)Rick (Sr. Mgr. Acme Tech. Ltd)
Erin (Jr. Mgr. Acme Tech Ltd Not present)
Fictitious Case Scenario
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Definition of Anger
• An agitated and often hostile state of arousal, varying in intensity, that is emotional, physiological, and cognitive in nature, originating from a perceived threat or sense of wrongdoing.
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Expressions of anger
• Direct: annoyed, irritated, fed up, exasperated
• Indirect: disappointed, guilty, depressed, hopeless
• Repressed: sarcasm, passive aggressive behaviour, “forgetting”, physical symptoms or accidents
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Anger Cycle
Event-Trigger Esca
lation Phase
Crisis Phase
Recovery PhasePost Crisis Phase
Judgement/Intelligence Creativity
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What is the purpose of anger?
• Anger acts as a secondary emotion, emerging in response to the stress of another emotional state that is experienced as more uncomfortable than anger.
(Susskind,Field, 1996)
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Painful emotions
• Loss • Grief• Shame• Hurt• Anxiety• Unworthiness • Unmet needs or desires
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Using Anger Constructively
• A strong signal that gets our attention.• Motivation to act, make changes and confront
anxiety producing situations that we might otherwise avoid.
• Energy to continue pursuing problems and provocations until they are resolved.
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Benefits of Anger
• The body recovers faster from the stress hormones released from anger than it does to those released from fear.
• Anger increases feelings of certainty and control. Fear enhances feeling of uncertainty and loss of control.
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So, does anyone else feel their needs aren’t being met?
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Responding to anger in others
• Respond with empathy and acknowledgment.• Don’t try to “reason” a person into calming
down.• Allow the other person the right to their own
feelings of anger.• Put a ? between you and the angry person.
Stay curious.
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www.joyofconflict.com2010
Staying curious
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Refuse the Bait
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Summary
• Expressions of anger• Anger arousal cycle• Purpose of anger (anger is the 2nd emotion)• Benefits of anger• Using anger constructively• Responding to anger in others
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Thank you!