The Voice of Montana State University Billings for Over Half a Century

www.MSUBretort.orgApril 26, 2013 Volume 89, Issue 6

Where are your student fees Going?PATRICIA HAMPTONNews Writer

Running, as Dr. Stan Wiatr, the head of the MSUB Science De-partment, stated in his intro-duction, is a fitting last name for Nobel Laureate Dr. Steve Running. Traveling three weeks, to 12 seminars, over three continents, Dr. Run-ning certainly showed that he is a very busy man; and at MSUBthe last stop of his marathon triphe seemed quite fresh, not showing the fatigue that one would expect.

Dr. Runnings resume is an impressive one. He re-ceived both his BS in Bota-ny and MS in Forest Manage-ment from Oregon State Uni-versity. After receiving his PhD in Forest Ecophysiology in 1979 from Colorado State University, Dr. Running got a position at the University of Montana, where he has been ever since. As a member of the Intergovernmental Pan-

Running Across the Globe: Nobel Laureate Speaks at MSUB

Article continued on page 3.

CORY LOVECSports Writer

el on Climate Change (IPCC), Dr. Running received a 2007 Nobel Peace Prize; the IPCC was awarded the Nobel Prize for their efforts to build up and disseminate greater knowledge about man-made climate change, and to lay the foundations for the mea-sures that are needed to coun-teract such change. Dr. Run-ning is a member of countless scientific societies and orga-nizations, is a very consis-tent recipient of many differ-ent awards, and is also a very distinguished writer, having written over 240 papers and several books. He is also re-sponsible for developing the Earth-observing-oriented al-gorithms used by the Moder-ate Resolution Imaging Spec-troradiometer (MODIS) on board NASAs satellites Ter-ra and Aqua.

As one would expect of such an accomplished man and Nobel Laureate, Dr. Steve Running is a very brilliant man. However, one need not

be a scientist oneself to under-stand him. Giving his presen-tation Its All About Water: Climate Trends and Ecosys-tem Impacts in the Northern Rockies, Dr. Running stimu-lated the crowd with his cap-tivating and relevant talk. The MSUB Science Auditoriumpacked to capacity and stand-ing room onlywas filled not only with MSUB science fac-ulty and students, but also with other MSUB faculty and students, and members of the general public as well. Now, summarizing an hour-long presentation by a Nobel Lau-reate is never easy (impossi-ble when doing so in such an abbreviated space), but here is a short summary of what Dr. Running included in his talk:

Dr. Running spoke of ear-ly work on measuring atmo-spheric carbon dioxide (CO2) and gave evidence that the link between atmospheric CO2 levels and an increase in temperature has been known for a very long time (1896!).

He also showed that while temperatures historically fluc-tuated over spans of months, the average global tempera-ture has increased in each of the past 386 months. Specif-ically in Montana, Running gave evidence that the Sper-ry Glacier in Glacier Nation-al Park has shown significant shrinkage over the past cou-ple of decades; he also told the crowd that Glacier Na-tional Park is actually quite well-known across the world, and that he thinks Montanans and even other Americans in general take it for granted. Running went on to give data on Montana rainfall, wild-fires, and the pine beetle ep-idemic (also linked to glob-al warming). He then went on to provide predictions for the future. Those predictions forecast that by 2040, Mon-tana will be an average of 5F warmer, and will receive 10% less rainfall. The data sug-gests that snowfall will be gone from the mountains by

as early as April 1st each year (much earlier than it histor-ically has been). Finally, Dr. Running concluded the talk by stating that the main way to reduce CO2 emissions is by halting the burning of coal to produce electricitywhich is by far the biggest producer of atmospheric greenhouse gas-es.

While global warming has been a hot topic in the general public over the past

decade, and is still consid-ered by some to be contro-versial, Dr. Running points out that there should no lon-ger be a controversy, for there is not a question of wheth-er or not global warming ex-ists; it DOES exist, and now the problem moves to how to best accomplish reducing it in hopes of sustaining our planet. For more information, Dr. Running refers inquiring minds to http://www.skepti-calscience.com/.

Each semester, students are required to pay a set amount toward tu-ition and fees. Tuition, of course, goes toward the ex-penses associated directly with our academics. The ma-terials that the instructors bring to class, paying the in-structors themselves, and oth-er associated costs are cov-ered under this.

But what exactly are those nondescript fees? Thinking in terms of a full-time student who is a Montana resident, the tuition cost is $2198.40 per semester, but where does the other $656.80 in fees get distributed?

The first fee, assessed of all students when they en-roll in courses, and which is non-refundable even if a stu-dent withdraws from class-es before the start of the term, is the registration fee. This amounts to $30 each semes-ter regardless of status (part-time, full-time, etc.).

If a student were to search around on the MSU Billings website, at some point they

may come across the Inven-tory and Validation of Fees charts that are posted, break-ing down the exact costs of education on our campuses. If, however, a student does not know exactly what they are looking for, or invest a cer-tain degree of time and com-mitment to the task, the fees are not clearly explained. Of course on the MyInfo log-in students are able to see

Departmental Charge or Health Fee, but these are not explained in full detail.

Maintaining a degree of consistency, the following are the fees associated with being a full-time student residing in Montana:

Registration Fee: $30Tuition: $2198.40Building Fee: $127Computer Fee: $43.20Activity Fee: $42.50Rec Activity Fee: $20.00Health Fee: $58.50Student Union Fee: $47.00Academic Building Fee:

$30.00Equipment Fee: $42.00Academic Support Center:

$46.80Technology Replacement

Fee: $82.00

Library Fee: $42.80Athletic Fee: $45.00TOTAL: $2855.20These fees are assessed of

all students qualifying in this category, regardless of wheth-er or not they use the servic-es for which they are associ-ated. The health fee alone of $58.50 goes to fund the Stu-dent Health Services office (SHS). This office employs a registered nurse to be on hand to assist students with ail-

ments from the sniffles to a twisted ankle. Students fees enable them to be seen by the nurse and receive mild medi-cations or even crutches if the situation so warrants. So the next time you are feeling a lit-tle under the weather, or you scrape your knee, remember that students are welcome to visit SHS and receive medical attention.

Do you ever take an hour out of your week to walk over

to Alterowitz gym and walk around the track, or beat the racquetball for half an hour? This is the type of opportuni-ty that is afforded students by the $20.00 per semester rec activity fee. There is no need to pay for that gym member-ship, or avoid getting in shape because you are not able to afford it, when you have the Recreation Activities Center right on the other side of 27th Street.

Are you enrolled in class-es on campus that require you to write papers, conduct re-search, cite your sources, or complete math equations? The $46.80 Academic Sup-port Center fee is contribut-ed to the running of the Ac-ademic Support Center locat-ed on the first floor of the Stu-dent Union Building. There is a computer lab where stu-dents can complete and print their assignments, as well as tutors available in most aca-demic disciplines to help stu-dents through any difficulties that they are facing in their coursework.

The final fee which will be looked into specifically is the activity fee of $42.50 each semester. These funds are pooled and account for the es-timated $300,000.00 allocat-ed by the Associated Students of Montana State University Billings each semester.

These are funds designed to be returned to students in the form of programming, travel funds for student orgs, and other student activity re-lated expenses.

Nobel Laureate Dr. Steve Running spoke at MSUB on April 5th, 2013 in the Science Building.

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The Retort encourages the submission of student writing including, but not limited to: re-views, features, editorials, creative writing, or Letters to the Editor. Articles must be under 600 words in length, typed and include a first and last name and phone number. Submissions writ-ten anonymously will not be published. The Retort reserves the right to edit for space or for the reasons stated above. All writing should deal with subject matter relevant to the students, fac-ulty, staff of MSU Billings and the surrounding Billings community. The Retort is published semi-monthly and writing must be submitted by the deadlines listed below

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The finish line is on the horizon but we cant exhale a unanimous sigh of re-lief just yet as finals and graduation are just around the next bend. For some, its been a year to reflect on, a year to remember, an eternity, a blink of an eye or just another year on the long, arduous road.

For students graduating on May 4th, the anxiety of finals is far outweighed by the complex assignments that accompany gradu-ation. Months after submitting our graduation packages, we really have no way of know-ing if we are actually graduating. Visions of my graduation package slipping between the cracks of an inconspicuous desk in the far reaches of McMullen Hall have haunted my dreams. And then there I am, on graduation day, dressed to the nines in my black robe, flat cap, cords and perfectly flat-ironed hair wait-ing with anxious perfectly manicured fingers tapping at my side. And I approach the podi-um andandthey call the name of the per-son behind me and I am standing there, im-mobile, looking up at my parents with cam-eras glued to their eyes, frozen in time with me and I realize, in my panic, that somewhere along the way, my graduation forms were lost and I look like a total idiot. Fortunately for me, this nightmare was put to rest about a week ago. The white card that accompanies a gradu-ate's cap and gown is really technically all you need to have your name called at the ceremo-ny. But that, in and of itself, is its own night-mare. Just below your name, you are required to write your name PHONETICALLY. Ive taken my fair share of linguistics courses over the past three years but this year, I took a sab-batical from the (beloved) Schaffers and am unsure if Ive retained the ability to write pho-netically! On top of all this, graduating se-niors are, on the big day, required to line them-selves up alphabetically for the ceremony. The great symbolism of this endeavor should not be overlooked. Looking back in time at the first year of school, what are some of the first things our young minds are required to learn: the basic fundamentals of the alphabet, how to spell our names, and how to walk in a straight line. Now, as I meander through the crowd of anxious faces on that Saturday morning and align myself between the Bs and Ds, I will be

able to appreciate the ways in which my edu-cational repertoire over the last 15 years has truly come full circle.

I think that there are so many great things in being a graduate of MSU Billings. At the recent State of the Union event held on cam-pus, ASMSUB President Isaiah Garrison said something that really struck me. There are many students at MSUB who describe themselves as just attending MSU Bill-ings, but as Isaiah said in his speech You dont just attend MSU Billings. MSUB is a great school and being a student or alumnus is something to be proud of.

There are many things I will miss about MSUB--the devil turkeys who wander across Virginia Lane, the random, irrational fits of fear I have thinking about earthquakes while I sit in the LA building, frantically shark-ing the parking lots five minutes before class, the anger that seizes me when the elevator must. stop. at. every. floor on my way to the 8th floor in the LA, and of course, my second home and hell on earth at the same time, The Retort office. Above and beyond the quirks of MSUB, I will ultimately miss the amazing faculty and staff that I have come to know so well over the years.

In an effort to avoid the sanctity that is being clich in any farewell letter, I will try to wrap things up quickly now with some thank-yous. I want to thank my amazing staff this year at The Retort! I couldnt have asked for better people to work with. I also want to thank Bailey Martin and Heidi Le-ritz (the amazing Editors who came before me), Valerie Sperry, Dan Carter, David Crisp, Nik Wong, all the members of PUB Board, Isaiah Garrison and all the great contribut-ing writers! I also want to thank our devoted readers many, of whom were forced to bear witness to my evolution from amateur horo-scope writer, to part-time cartoonist and fi-nally, to Editor.

And, without further ado, I introduce the Chosen One, The Retort's newly appointed 2013-2014 Editor-in-Chief, my friend and of-fice therapist, Chris Claus.

When Leah asked me to write the fi-nal Letter from the Editor for this year, I had no idea what to write. I could do the whole "telling you who I am, and that I will be the Editor-in-Chief of The Retort for next year" bit. Then I could go on and tell you all about how I am going to make The Retort blow your mind next year. But that would be a cliche, and I hate cliches. Plus, I dont want to ruin the surprises for you. Oh, and for those of you that are still laughing about the whole they made Chris the editor? bit, no, its not a joke, April fools was a cou-ple weeks ago.

What I do want to do is take this time to thank a few thousand people. To the 5000 or so people enrolled at MSUB, it is because of you that we exist. Without readers, there would be no point in having a paper. To the couple dozen people at ASMSUB, Senators, EC staff, Valerie. Thank you for all the sup-port you have shown us this past year, and for the support youll no doubt give us in years to come. To the members of the publications board: Ali Iverson, Audrey Flanagan, Steven

Varela, Damara Ankrum, Shelby Bunker, Jake Letman, Alisha Erfle, Nikki Linn, you have been an invaluable source of feedback, and I hope to see some of you on the pub board next year. To the staff of The Retort: Serene Crees, Holly Daniels, Nate Evans, Patricia Hampton, James Hickman, Cory Lovec, Tabitha Maust, and Shawna Willoughby, our advisor David Crisp. Also those that left us in the middle of the year: Paulina Carillo, Jared Hammer, Amy Tackett, Jennifer Otis, and our former advisor Dan Carter. Thank you all, for your hard work and dedication has brought The Retort a long way in such a short period of time.

Last, but certainly not least, a huge thank you to Leah Campbell, our current Editor-in-Chief, and Good-Cop. You have made this an organization I am proud to be a part of, and have turned The Retort into something to be proud of. You are leaving behind some rath-er large shoes to fill; I hope I am up to the task.

s

33

How to Graduate Debt-Free From MSUBLEAH CAMPBELLEditor-in-Chief

Theres a new profan-ity sweeping college campuses across the U.S. and lingering on the lips of anxious-eyed college stu-dents. It is a word that ig-nites an overwhelming sense of dread, frustration and of-ten weighs down hope. That word is debt, and many col-lege students face this linger-ing entity even before theyve started their first day of high-er education. Even state col-leges like Montana State Uni-versity Billings cannot pro-tect students from debt. In fact, according to projec-tonstudentdebt.org, in 2011, MSUB students had the sec-ond highest average debt, sur-mounting $28,447, and 73% of graduates had debt com-pared to other colleges in Montana. Both amounts were higher than that of Rocky Mountain College, a private college. However, MSUB also proves to have the high-est number of non-traditional students of any Montana uni-versity, which means more students are financially inde-pendent and unable to depend on parents to cover tuition costs. Non-traditional stu-dents may be defined as stu-dents who did not attend col-lege right after high school and are older than 24, may have children and work full-time jobs as well as attend school. A traditional stu-dent may be defined as a stu-dent who attends college im-mediately after high school, attends school full-time and completes his/her degree pro-gram around the age of 22 or 23. Often, traditional stu-dents are financially depen-dent in some aspects and do not have children.

Speaking as a traditional student who is only a month away from completing my bachelors degree, I can hon-estly tell you that it is possi-ble for traditional students to graduate from MSUB debt-free without being financially dependent on parents. There are many aspects to consid-er both before you begin your college career and during it. While everyones case is dif-ferent and everyone has their own personal hurdles to over-come, if you think ahead and read my steps, you might be on the right track to the debt-free way of life.

-Stay Close to Home: Af-ter high school graduation, many students are plagued

by an odd case of separa-tion anxiety when it comes to their friends. Living out the next four years of college with your best friends seems like a dream (and also the plot of countless unrealistic made-for-t.v. movies), but reality quickly sets in. While leav-ing town and getting away sounds glamorous, it often means added expense both in out-of-state tuition costs, or, if it is in state, room and board, transportation costs, and all the responsibilities that come with being a real-life adult. Especially for the first few years, its worth it to save some money by just stay-ing close to home

-Milk Your Parents for All Their Fridge is Worth: If you are going to school in the same city that your par-ents live in, its important to take advantage of the many resources they can offer you and your stomach. While they may not be able to help you out financially, they should be able to feed you a few times a week. Attribute your random dinner drop-ins to

bonding time with the fami-ly, or volunteer to rid them of the loaf of bread in the pan-try that is only hours from ex-piration. If your parents live out of town or they have dis-owned you, you may also of-fer to bunk with other fam-ily members. It is important to really weigh the pros and cons of living at home during college instead of investing in expensive penthouse apart-ments or rooming with po-tentially destructive or klepto roommates. It is better to save the money now than get stuck moving back home after col-lege. I lived with my parents for the first five semesters of college which saved me mon-ey and better prepared me to move out when I was ready fi-nancially.

-Always Apply for FAF-SA: Universities like MSUB provide many opportunities for students to apply for fi-nancial assistance during any given year of their college ca-reer. Free Application for Fed-eral Student Aid (FAFSA) of-fers financial assistance to

students in the nation. This assistance may come in the form of grants, loans or work-study funds. According to stu-dentaid.gov, FAFSAs official website, FAFSA offers more than $150 billion dollars each year to students. Eligibility requirements can be found online. According to Susan Rhodes, Scholarship Admin-istrator at the MSUB Founda-tion, approximately 60% of enrolled students at MSUB submit to FAFSA. Financial aid offered by FAFSA is gen-erally based on the income of your parents and yourself if you file your FAFSA form as a dependent or just your own income if you qualify as an independent student. The poorer I look, the better, was my mantra each year when filling out my FAFSA form and though its not a mantra Ill take with me after I grad-uate college, FAFSA certainly helped me.

-Go Small or Go Home in the Scholarship Realm: Online sites like Scholar-ships.com offer hundreds of unique scholarships for stu-dents. For instance, the site lists a Tall Clubs Internation-al Scholarship of $1,000 of-fered to students under 21 years of age who are 510 or taller. The drawback to apply-ing for national scholarships like those listed on Scholar-ships.com is that you are com-peting against a large pool of applicants around the coun-try. While the site has done a better job at organization to include allowing students to create profiles and be matched with scholarships that fit their interests, I have had no suc-cess in landing a scholarship from them.

At MSUB, applying for scholarships can be a one-stop shot with the Gener-al Scholarship Application. The application is to be filled out online and accompa-nied by a short personal es-say and three letters of rec-ommendation. Applications must be filled out the year be-fore you expect the aid, usu-ally due at the beginning of February each year. Scholar-ships at MSUB may have spe-

cific or more general criteria, Rhodes explains. The Foun-dation takes the information provided on the scholarship application, GPA, grade level, and major all into account to match students with scholar-ships. Of the 3,328 students in the undergraduate programs at MSUB, the Foundation re-ceived 750 applications by the February 1st priority date in 2012, a slight increase from the year before. Students who dont submit the application are often misinformed or un-clear about what it is. I re-ally never thought to apply for scholarships on campus but when I did, I had already missed the deadline, Bran-don Moore, a senior studying English at MSUB, stated. Stu-dents should not be discour-aged by the deadline: I en-courage all students to sub-mit an application even if its after the February 1st pri-ority deadline. Its well worth the time and effort, Rhodes stated. It wasnt until after I graduated that I realized I could have applied for schol-arships with the Foundation during all four years I was in school. I thought those schol-arships were only for incom-ing freshmen, MSUB alum-na Joli Higbee stated. Ev-ery February, I was diligent about planning for the appli-cation, often asking for rec-ommendation letters at least a month before the priority date. Following advice offered by Rhodes, I always put a lot of thought into my personal es-say to make myself stand out. My hard work paid off and I received at least one scholar-ship every year during col-lege. In the end, over the last four years, scholarship funds covered over half of my tu-ition costs.

-Consider Taking on a Job, or Two, or Three: On top of tuition, students may have to work to pay for cell phones, car insurance and sometimes the surprising and uncalled-for appearance of a parking ticket. While school work should remain the big-gest priority (you are paying for it, after all), it is not im-possible to take on a job dur-

ing the school year and sum-mers in between. Its impor-tant to be selective about the jobs you do take on, though. During my freshman and sophomore years in col-lege, I took on three jobs, all of which worked around my school schedule and required little to no thinking as my brain was often already over-loaded. I cleaned a dental of-fice four evenings a week, worked at a coffee shop part-time, and also worked at the school newspaper for up to six full days a month. They were not the best-paying jobs, or the most appealing, but they paid the bills and some of the extras, like a new set of high-lighters.

-Find Jobs or Internships That Relate to Your Ca-reer: MSUB has an entire of-fice devoted to helping stu-dents find internships and jobs in their desired field be-fore they even graduate. Ac-cording to Patricia Reuss, Di-rector of MSUBs Career Ser-vices office, during the 2011-2012 school year, the office placed 241 students in in-ternships. Before my junior year, I applied for an intern-ship through Career Services online job site Career Link. I have kept my internship for the last three semesters. Oth-er students on campus have taken advantage of the intern-ships Career Services offers. Brenda Landrie, a sophomore studying business at MSUB, landed an internship early in her college career. I was originally a straight business major but after working at my paid internship for the last year, Ive been able to tailor my major to fit the kind of job the company would hire me for upon graduation. Making connections with people in a field you would like to work in and gaining real-life job experience are priceless and will pay off in the long run.

In the end, graduating debt-free takes a lot of planning, time management and cre-ativity and what better place to learn those skills than in college! While these steps may not work for everyone, they certainly worked for me. Now, the joys of living debt-free after college descend upon me and I can rest easy knowing, from now on, Ill be working nine-to-five, sev-en days a week, will contin-ue to pay my bills and most likely go into debt when I buy a house or new car in a few years.

Where Are Your Stu-dent Fees Going con-tinued from page 1.

The Student Activities Board (SAB) is allocated tens of thousands of dollars each year to bring programming to MSUB students. Each time a movie is shown by SAB, or a magician spends his Wednes-day night in Petro The-ater, these events are being brought to campus through the funding of students. Pub-lications such as The Retort and The Rook are also funded by ASMSUB allocations, and cater to activities, events, and publications pertaining to stu-dents.

In addition to these, there is a contingency fund. This years contingency fund al-located $19,480.35 to student organizations which request-ed monetary support for pro-grams, and more frequently, for members of their organi-zations to travel to conferenc-es and workshops to represent MSUB.

The following is a break-down of this years contingen-cy fund allocations:

FB #1 Travel funds for NAFMEC - $1493.25

FB #2 Travel funds for HEROES - $1300.00

FB #5 Travel funds for RHA - $705.98

FB #6 Travel funds for Intervarsity - $770.00

FB #8 Travel funds for BCCM - $1000.00

FB #30 The Rook - $2400FB #31 Travel funds for

JATO - $1800FB #33 Funds for COB

Student Advisory Bd. - $435FB #34 Travel funds for

Potters Guild - $2600FB #36 Travel Funds for

AIBL - $2139.20FB #35 Travel Funds for

Circle K - $664.00FB #37 Travel Funds for

HEROES - $605.00FB #38 Travel funds

for Samantha Bushman - $1318.92

FB #39 Travel funds for Math Ed Group - $1950.20

FB #40 Travel funds for SKILLS USA - $298.80

So the next time you are walking down the stairwell in McMullen to make your next payment, remember where your fees are going. Take the opportunity to watch that

free movie in Petro The-ater, attend events supported by student organizations, vis-it the library and borrow the books and movies at your fin-gertips, and take advantage of the academic support avail-able to you in the ASC.

4QDear Tiff,Due to a change in my living situation for the summer, Im forced to move in with one of my brothers good friends. I dont know him all that well but to save money, this is the best thing I can do. Im just afraid that he will think living together will meanother things. How to I get across to him that I am not interested in being more than friends and that we will strict-ly be roommates?

-Sticky Situation

ADear Sticky Situation,My first thought is, DONT DO IT! I would really suggest looking for alternative housing; there are usually a lot of opportuni-

First PlaceThe WomenBy Charity Dewing

The air is heavenly and intolerable, thick and comforting with smoke,toasted pecans, roast turkey, garlic, rosemary and Maxwell House.The women sit around the table smoking cigarettes and sipping coffee.Gossiping, complaining, scolding children; each voice rising above the next.We scatter and regroup. Grandma decorates the counters and tablewith green apple crisp, black olives, truffles, celery covered in cream cheese,waldorf salad, green bean casserole, Stove-Top stuffing, and steaming rollswithout breaking a sweat Chanel and Aqua Net, dont fail me now.We envy them, join and try to compete with the risinglevels of estrogen. We sneak cigarettes and hide under the stairs. The call is madeWe tell one last ghost story, say the last Bloody Mary and leave the youngest in tears.

Second PlaceGoodbye Doug Oltrogge

You died on the day I would have paid my billsSo, instead of attending to things that fit easily onto a listI sat in your boat and drank like I used to.I smashed whiskey bottles against photographsand cursed back the day into a new night without you.And the people brought food, and they brought liquorand they brought broken hearts and curses of their own.We pushed each other and pulled each other closerto the disease eating at the ground beneath our feet.We made pleas to forgotten saviors for salvation from the weightof a mourning too powerful and too toxic to be understood.

There were stories of how your body was broken and pinned beneath the machine which you had tortured and made roar.And my heart told me and tells me, Doug! You could have thrown that machine to the moon!

Why werent you there, you worthless FUCK!!!I whisper and say, Because I had to pay bills.There were stories that when you hit the vanishing point past that event horizon,where gravity and the universe pulled you back to them,that the dust lingered languidly, refusing to fall where you pierced the grey unknown.

They asked me to write you an obituary,and blind and broken, bruised, boozed and beaten, I obliged.But the sounds of the words stuck in my throat,and my words were words of love, but they burst into flames at the edge of my lipsand spilled onto the page like an ocean of tears and kerosene eternally ablaze.These were not the words I wanted to speak but the words which beckonedto be spoken through me, to practice an idea of you.But they were weak because I was weakand they were so worthless toward their intentionthat they were consumed in the agony of the day like fuel.

When they burned your body, which I had known since birthwe danced naked in the parking lot of the funeral homeand screamed the screams of beasts at slaughter, and poured stolen whiskeyinto the emptiness where yesterday had triumphed for so long.We climbed the ovens smokestack to where our vapor mixed into the night airand drunkenly fell from your last point of releaseto a pile of broken man-children,orphaned.

Honorable MentionGarden City Breeann Silbernagel

remember that one timewe sat on your grass,brown with neglect, serenadingthe squirrels and streetlampslike a real bluegrass band.damn, we lived that day.those green folding chairsyou wrestled from the garagerust-freckled, were too few.so we settled in your orphaned lawnsmashing autumns leftovers,our holographic cupssloshing overwith that hoppy IPA.my camera sat ignored.the neighbor girls tannedtheir pasty toothpick legsstretched out on dandelion towelsappliqud with dainty four-leaf clovers.we even had a stand-up basshurrying, plucking to the next organic jambefore the breeze threatened winter.I tapped on your guitarthe percussion rhythm-keeper,and kissed the beatthrough that nothing-filledafternoon.

Third PlaceBaxter Sings the Blues By Jake Music

Hand falls lazysix-strings

Floor-above dogmoans empathy

Smile back, pluck light-ningfingers blind find fretboardwalls ring twang

yip-yap bridge tohound-dog-howl chorusbites-at-ankles and pisses-on-carpetbut he wails the blueslike a saint-turned-sinner

Sings-off-rhythm meetsPlays-off-key

Eyes closedIm rockstarIm artistIm famousOpenIm playing forthe damn dog

Honorable MentionSubstance By Sharon Williams

The body speaks itselfWild TonguesNot to be pronouncedDare not be presumed,Regarded,Led, or misled

The body breeds brailleBorn of beads of sweatThoughts drip, saltyStolen storiesLackluster talesTiresome reverberations

The body breaks, bleedsLends itself to forceBlood gives way to boneGrit gives way to reverencePeace, graceAfforded only now

My body is your bodyThe breeze blows cold Through meCold through you

Your body is my bodyThe heart pumps warmth Through meLove through you

Sigma Tau Delta Poetry Contest WINNERS

ties toward the end of the se-mester to find a place where people are losing a room-mate. Look on craigslist-

-maybe even post an ad your-self. Also, think about check-ing out the bulletin boards at cafs, stores and on campus and maybe even make some flyers. Though, do be careful what information you give out if you do that.

However, if you cant find another alternative, then the key is to set boundaries. I would sit down BEFORE you move in and make it clear that this is a platonic living situ-ation. Make clear boundar-ies about your bedroom pri-vacy and rules regarding the common living areas. I know

it sounds a lit-tle awkward, but setting these bound-aries ahead of time will es-tablish a level of understand-ing and respect. Expectat ions will then be clearly delineat-ed and therefore there should be no question about what is appropriate.

QDear Tiff,My girlfriend will be spending the summer abroad in France as soon as school gets out. Weve dated on and off for two years. She has never cheated but I am afraid that the separation over

the summer may end up bad-ly. Should I end things until school starts back up, or stay together during the summer?

-Uncertain Sam

ADear Uncertain Sam,Either you are an in-secure individual and therefore you are afraid of losing control or there are al-ready issues between you and therefore you are not secure

in your re-l a t ionsh ip. Since you said that you have been to-gether on and off for a couple of years and because you are asking if you should break up, I

am guessing that it is the lat-ter of the two.

I do not know the reasons for the sporadic nature of your relationship, but whatever they are, they need to be dis-covered, addressed, and fixed. The key is to open up commu-nication and be honest with yourself and each other. You both need to explore these is-sues on your own and then to-

gether. You have to find out if what you have is worth enough for you both to make being apart for a few months work.

Once you address your problems, if you decide to mend your relationship, the distance will be a test of the strength of your bond and the health of your love

QDear Tiff, My financial aid fell through this year and Im in a load of debt! Id like to spend the sum-mer working to save some money but I promised my kids that Id take them to Disney World. It kills me to tell them no since theyve been talking about it for months. What should I do? -Short Changed

ADear Short Changed,There is really only one solution to this problem (unless you have a rich relative). You have to sit them down and be open and honest with them. Yes, they are children, but this can be a good way for them to learn that life is un-predictable and that there will be disappointments.

5Did you know that any-one can eat like an au-thentic Italian? Bill-ings is home to a variety of Ital-ian cuisine that, on any given afternoon or evening, will al-low you to take in the sweet aroma of homemade Italian sauce or treat your tongue to the tantalizing spice of sweet basil or roasted garlic. Caf Ita-lia and Ciao Mambo are great restaurants to experience the rich unique taste of the one and only boot-shaped country.

Each of these Italian won-derlands has a unique ambi-ance all its own. Ciao Mambo has a fun, funky feel and com-bines modern dcor with Old World tradition, while Caf Ita-lia is more traditional and cozy. Ciao Mambo is great for a group outing or first or second date, while Caf Italia is more intimate, much better for a ro-mantic evening with your spe-cial someone.

In comparing the delecta-ble food, its very hard because their food is often quite differ-ent. Both have some of the tra-ditional Italian favorites such as spaghetti and meatballs, la-sagna, and tiramisu, but they each have their own signature dishes that are incomparable.

At Caf Italia, I had the cal-amari as the appetizer, which was absolutely amazing! I could smell it before they brought it to the table, the but-tery spices curling up in their vapor. Each piece had just the right amount of crunch and I loved the novelty of actually being able to taste the flavor of the calamari instead of usually just tasting the spices, breading and salt; most places use WAY too much.

For the main course I had the veal Parmesan. I swear it was so tender I barely had to chew; it practically melted in my mouth! It was perfect-ly breaded and I dont know where they get their Parmesan, but I have a feeling that it just might have been stolen from Gods own table!

For dessert, I had the cara-mel cake. I was pretty full but I had heard amazing things about their desserts so I decid-ed to push on through. I imag-ine my dinner experience was kind of like being in a triath-lon; the first course is like the swimming portion of the race, you glide right through it and when you are done you are ready for more. Then the main course is like the biking por-

tion, you start out excited and eager but by the end youre los-ing steam. And running the end of the race resembles that last few bites of dessert, you dont know if you can do it, but you find it within yourself to push across that finish line.

I am glad I ordered the yum-my, gooey caramel drizzled over the moistest cake you will ever eat, but next time, though it will be hard, I will sharing my meal!

At Ciao Mambo, I had the pollo con formaggio. If you like cheese, then you will love the lightly breaded chicken cutlets. They roast the chick-en with herbs, locking the fla-vor in its juices and making it unbelievably tender and moist. They then smother it in creamy ricotta and mozzarella chees-es. It smelled and tasted di-vine! I had a little trouble with the strings of cheese ending up in places they shouldnt be, but since I was not on a date and the place was fairly deserted at the late hour we were dining, I wasnt too worried about look-ing like a toddler on her first birthday.

I found that comparing these two eateries was like compar-ing marinara and Alfredo sauc-es; theres just no comparison. They are both sauces, but it is a matter of which one you prefer given your mood or your taste. The prices are hard to compare as well since the two establish-ments have a different ambi-ance. Of the items they have in common I have found that Caf Italia has a slightly high-er price. My total for the night which included an appetizer, house salad, the main course and dessert came to about $50 which is pretty spendy if youre on a college students budget.

However, I have been told by an acquaintance of mine who lived in Italy for a time that Caf Italia is the clos-est to genuine Italian food. So, though the price is a mite high-er, you are paying for a more authentic quality. Ciao Mambo was a little better priced com-ing in at about $45 for feed-ing two people which is a little more reasonable.

So, when you are in the mood to be Italian for a night, first assess your budget and then ask yourself what type of evening you are looking for: a quiet romantic dinner, or a big table filled with friends or fam-ily. But, whatever your choice, be prepared to be swept away! Che bello!

On Wednesday, April 17th, MSU Billings sorority Alpha The-ta Chi put on its first event on campus to promote their organization and showcase local talent. The Spring Sing began at 7 p.m. in Petro theater. While it is the first ever Spring Sing or talent show-esque program to come to the MSUB campus in a long time, Sare-na Underwood, a member of Alpha Theta Chi, said that this will certain-ly not be the last Spring Sing they will host. Walking down the red carpet in Petro Hall, I was impressed by the Hol-lywood-themed decorations and light-ing. The auditorium was decked out with movie reels, clapper boards, movie popcorn bowls and other thematic orna-mentation. The Hollywood theme was further enhanced with lights illumi-nating the stage in a colorful geometric pattern. Colton Adams, a freshman the-atre major, said that this was the most elaborate sound and lighting job he has done on campus.

Despite limited publicity, there was also a pretty good turnout for the show. During the 10 different performances the audience seemed to enjoy the va-riety of dance acts ranging from ball-

room to swing and Latin dancing (in-cluding the reinstated MSUB Dance Club). The Alpha Theta Chi members also performed a provocative hip-hop dance much to the shock and surprise of some older, more traditional audience members.

There were also a few less shocking musical numbers by pianist Cheeky, a sophomore international student ma-joring in psychology. Other acts includ-ed a singing duet from Toy Story by Thomas Spencer and Thomas Shilling.

In between each act the audience was entertained by the comical antics of Lewis Polkow, a junior history educa-tion major. He did his act off the cuff and though at times it showed, he was funny in an awkward way which I think was intentional. He joked about being a professional clown in Vegas and al-though some of his humor was not so family-friendly, there were definitely some LOL moments.

Two performances stood out. The first was the dance that Patricia Hamp-ton and Jarrett Lambert performed from Dirty Dancing. They did a love-ly mambo number with effortless dips and spins.

The second highlight of the night was a dance also done by Lambert but this time he was accompanied by Lau-

ra-Ashlee Twiford. They did a swing dance and the energy was captivating.

There were other performances cer-tainly worth mentioning, like MSUBs Intermediate Belly Dance class who put on a great performance. The entertain-ment was not limited to students; some of MSUBs faculty performed a comical skit from the popular movie Brides-maids, which had many laughing to the point of tears.

The final act of the night was per-formed by Alpha Theta Chi and I must say, they definitely saved the best for last. They performed a Pirates of the Caribbean:-themed dance, and sang and danced to a medley of pop and hip-hop music with their own twist to the lyrics.

All in all, Alpha Theta Chis first an-nual Spring Sing was a marvelous suc-cess and if you missed it this year, keep your eye out for it next year. After the performance, members of Alpha The-ta Chi told me that they plan on mak-ing the Spring Sing an annual event that is designed to bring the clubs, students and faculty on campus together. With 10 acts put on by four organizations and over 40 students and faculty participat-ing in the event, Id say theyre off to a great start!

Bad-Ass. That is one term to describe Tim Cahill. Trust me, if you were stranded in the des-ert, trapped in a blizzard, or kidnapped by ruthless guer-rilla leaders, Cahill is the man youd want standing next to you. His travels have not only produced amazing experienc-es and survival skills, but fan-tastic travel writing.

After putting himself through school at the Uni-versity of Wisconsin on a swimming scholarship, Ca-hill, who attended law school, decided to drop out and head for San Francisco to pursue a career in writing. Hilarious-ly, his first publication hap-pened to be for the womans magazine, True Confessions, that allowed women (and only women) to anonymous-ly write about their innermost desires, secrets, and concerns.

But it was good money, Ca-hill laughs.

From there, after a collab-orative project with a friend, his first story was published in the San Francisco Exam-iner which eventually led to a proletarian position at

Nationally-Known Travel Writer Teaching at MSUB

Ciao Mambo & Cafe Italia: Italian WonderlandsSpring Sing Facilitates Campus

Fun, Involvement, & Unity SERENE CREESA&E WriterSERENE CREESA&E Writer

CHARITY DEWINGContributing Writer

Tim Cahill teaches a writing course on the main campus of MSUB.

Rolling Stone Magazine. En-try-level positions can begin your career as a writer, Cahill says. Start there, see where it goes, Cahill advises aspiring writers. Volunteer even, he adds. His own success is de-rived from working his way up from editorial drudge at Rolling Stone to interviewing movie stars and musicians, which subsequently led to Ca-hill becoming the founding editor of Outdoor magazine.

Cahill immerses himself in his work, something he says is absolutely necessary to achieve quality writing. When working on his book

Buried Dream (a crime nov-el about mass-murderer John Wayne Gacy), Cahill says he lived in a sewer for three years to get Inside the Mind of the Serial Killer, which is appropriately the books sub-title. It wasnt very good for me, he claims. Consequently, travel writing could not have been more appealing.

Cahill has seen travel-ing writing in its heyday, or

Golden age, and has watched it slowly recede; most travel writing was guidebooks; and then it grew to books, then locations, then stories. Now, hotel guides are gone. After

9/11, people didnt want to travel and travel magazines got thinner and thinner and the pay was less and less. A rather discouraging practical-ity for aspiring travel writers, Cahill suggests, Young writ-ers will have to find a way to

monetize the situation. They will have to Sunday Supple-ment so their names get in front of people in the way that my writing for the San Fran-cisco Examiner got me a job at Rolling Stone.

Despite the lack of demand for travel writers, Cahill has been to some extraordinary locations. His favorite? Pata-gonia, South America. It is the mirror im-age of Mon-tana, except an anomaly sud-denly comes in the picture. So, you will ad-mire the snow-capped moun-tains, the riv-er, and sud-denly, theres an ostrich. Its like a bizzaro version of the

west.Cahill is a rare success

among travel writers. He has confronted death, seen some of the most beautiful places in the world, and has encountered species and individuals you and I have only read about. So, why choose the conven-tional path of teaching at MSUB? I was asked by Sue Hart and theres only one thing you can say to Sue and its Yes, maam.

No argument there, Tim.

66:00pm - 10:00pm

12:00pm

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Monday April 29th - Thursday May 2ndFinal Exam WeekMonday April 29thWomens TRACK vs GNAC Multi-Event Championships in Monmouth,Ore.Mens TRACK vs GNAC Multi-Event Championships in Monmouth, Ore.Tuesday April 30thWomens TRACK vs GNAC Multi-Event Championships in Monmouth,Ore.Mens TRACK vs GNAC Multi-Event Championships in Monmouth, Ore.Thurday May 2ndSemester EndsCelebrating Under The Stars @ SUB PatioFriday May 3rdResendence Halls CloseSaturday May 4thCommencement @ MetraparkMay the fourth be with you!

SUDOKU

CLASSIFIED SECTIONWelcome to the new Classified

Section of The Retort! At this time, we are accepting classified ads to be published both online and in print for FREE to students.

Guidelines: -Provide a heading (no more than

6 words)-Provide a write-up of what you

are advertising (maximum of 40 words)

-Provide contact info to include person of contact, email, phone number, or website for further in-formation

-Review your ad carefully before submission.

-Please direct questions about Classifieds to

msubretort@gmail.com.

comic courtesy www.xkcd.com

7Kenna Knutson, 1st year Pre-Nursing student (pictured left):

Being an older student attending both campuses, I feel that the support that is given to students through the tutoring labs and Disability Support Services, and the

How was your transition into City College from high school?

Bryanna Kirby, Practical Nursing (pictured right): I think it was kind of hard. I went to a small high school with 60 kids in it. The transition was hard for me because I [came from] a small school where I knew everybody to college where I knew no one.

On Attending City College

Jessie Thomas, 1st year, Gerneral Studies (pictured left): Study, study, study and dont procrastinate, and attend all your classes regularly.

On Advice for Incoming Students

Kenna Knutson, 1st year Pre-Nursing student: I would utilize any help. Try to sharpen any study skills that you may or may not have had.

On City College What is one thing about City College that you would

change?Nathan Keehn, 1st year, Welding and Metal Fabrication:

More free time for teachers to do one-on-one work with stu-dents. Expand office hours.

What is your favorite thing about City College?

Shawnae Harding, 1st year, Medical Adminstrative Assistant (pictured right):

The fact that it is a smaller campus, and you get more time with your instructor if needed.

Shawn GriffithMajor: BiologyMinor: ChemistryWhat do you wish you

had known when you were a freshman that you now know?

There is time for fun and there is time to buckle down and get the job done.

What was your favorite class during your entire college career at MSUB? Professor?

Advanced Molecular Biology Lab with Dr. Toenjes; we were quite a rowdy group, no thanks to Tommy Rye.

If you could go back and change something/do something different during your college career, what would it be?

Nothingit was an awesome four years!

What are you planning on doing after you graduate?

I plan on attending dental school.

What are your favorite/

Brandon Moore Major: EnglishMinor: SpanishWhat did you wish that

you had known when you were a freshman?

I wish I had known how dif-ficult my classes would be and that high school really doesnt prepare you for college.

What was your favor-ite class in your career at MSUB and why?

Medieval Literature taught by Dr. Kamowski because the readings were interesting and learning about that period of time was fascinating.

If you could change any-thing about your college ca-reer, what would it be?

I would have studied harder and thought about making professional connec-tions sooner.

What advice would you give to incoming freshman?

Think wisely about your priorities and manage your time!

Reagan SaulsburyMajors: Music, Elementa-

ry EducationWhat made you select

MSUB to pursue your de-gree?

I selected MSUB because it was close to my hometown of Colstrip and staying close to my family was important.

What was your favorite class during your entire col-lege career at MSUB? Pro-fessor?

My favorite class is a toss-up between my L.A. methods class with Sandi Rabas and my Ed psych classes with Natalie Bohlman. Both teachers really inspired me through their love of the subjects to be not only a better student, but eventual-ly a good teacher. In my mu-sic ed degree my favorite class, believe it or not, is band. Be-fore this semester I had nev-

Nik WongMagjor: Business Admin-

istration: AccountingWhat made you select

MSUB to pursue your de-gree? Close proximity to home, best friend was attend-ing, lower costs than Bozeman or Missoula

What was your favor-ite class during your entire college career at MSUB? Professor? My favorite class was probably Pubic Speaking- night classes make for the best mix of students. The best pro-fessor Ive had was Dr. Rob-ertson for BGEN 315, one of the tougher courses Ive tak-en but also learned the most about myself in.

If you could go back and change something/do some-thing different during your college career, what would it be? I would have lived on campus for more than just a semester and fully embraced the student life aspect. Now, in my final year, I spend more time on campus than ever and wish I had a place to crash nearby (besides the couch in my office)

What are you planning on doing after you gradu-ate? Well starting April 29th Ill begin studying for the CPA exam, and the Monday follow-ing graduation Ill be start-

ing a new position as Finan-cial Controller for an assisted living home company. In the fall I may pursue a Masters of Business Administration out of state.

Do you think your class-es have prepared you well enough for the work-force/graduate school? The ma-jority, yes. Some of my aca-demic foundations, absolute-ly not. Im sorry but I abso-lutely have not ever needed to reference neither high school nor college level biology since I passed the class.

What advice can you of-fer incoming freshmen about college? Learn how to say yes to the cheesy opportu-nities that present themselves to you and stop, drop, and rumble as much as possible.

least favorite things about MSUB?

I have made great friends that will last a lifetime. In addition, the ability to have interactive teaching due to the smaller classes has been really helpful in understanding of the curriculum.

Describe your final semester in college in five words or less.

-Its already over?What advice can you

offer to incoming freshmen: Take advantage of your time in college; you will remember it for the rest of your life!

er been in band and the pro-fessor (Mark Fenderson) is so musically encouraging he has turned me into a band geek.

If you could go back and change something/do some-thing different during your college career, what would it be?

I think I would have made myself appreciate the little things that come with being a college-age student. I always made myself be way too busy.

Eric Rich-ard Simonton

Major: Sociology Minor: CriminologyWhat was your favorite

class during your entire col-lege career at MSUB?:

Music Appreciation from Dr. Fenderson. It opened me up to a whole new genre and culture I had known nothing about.

What are your favorite things about MSUB:

Much different group of people than what I grew up with and very challenging with regard to my beliefs and why I believe what I believe.

Describe your final se-mester in college in five words or less: Worst 3.5 months ever (very busy and became very cynical).

What advice can you of-fer incoming freshmen about college? If you're un-sure of what you're wanting to do with your life and are doing this 'just because,' then consid-er taking a year or so off and keep in contact with friends to see what exactly you might be interested in doing.

On the Academic Support Center and Other Student Services:

amount of time instructors give to students both during class and after classes all help students to succeed academically.

*Interviews for City College Student Perspec-tives done by Donna Anderson, General Stud-ies student, Desiree Francis, Process Plant Technology student, and Jasmine Engellant, Medical Adminstrative Assistant student.

8The Fashion of Finals WeekASHLEE TWIFORDContributing Writer

HOLLY DANIELS Opinion Writer

Well, allow me to retort

Well, allow US to retortRETORT STAFFThe Retort

to make efforts to maintain readership. There are true benefits to printing things, though; the internet isnt in it to replace you. Tangibility shouldnt be underestimated. Articles on the internet seem so temporary. At least with newspapers people can cut out and keep the things that they like. Print also offers a sense of credibility. Theres something about physically holding onto an article that just isnt comparable to read-ing something that is sur-rounded by ads and banners.

The truth is that you have a special medium here. Tan-gibility and credibility give you great pedestals to engage readers further than the in-ternet can. Ill give you cred-it where its due; you have the tangible part covered. I will also acknowledge the chal-lenge. I asked a number of students why they dont read The Retort. I think that I have heard enough I think read-ing is dumb responses for a lifetime. Also with only a 7% voter turnout at the elections, its not surprising that peo-ple dont really involve them-selves.

However, upon asking the students that I saw read-ing books, magazines, and

This iconic line hangs in The Retort office accompanying a pic-ture of the man, Samuel L. Jackson himself. For lack of a cooler description, allow this to be my "Pulp Fiction,"

English-you-speak-it rant. I can promise that it wont be as outrageous. I am simply irked. I understand that there are complications with print-ing this in the publication that I am complaining about. The people that are most likely to actually be interested in read-ing this article wont pick up a copy unless they are using the paper for packing mate-rial or art project place mats. Thats the problem that I am seeing though, Retort. Not many people really know that you exist outside of a stack of obsolete and boring stories. If youre lucky, they might pick your publication up as they are sitting around waiting for something or someone. Here the question arises: do you, as a university newspaper, want to be comparable to High-lights and the Thrifty Nickel.

Print publications certain-ly seem to be on the way out. Top-selling magazines have

newspapers, the response was unanimous. As previous-ly stated, The Retort is boring and obsolete. Other respons-es included that the mechan-ical errors are infuriating, its filled with all the same things in every issue, and the au-thors dont vary. With front page articles about the Gover-nor visiting the science build-ing and four opinion piec-es written by the same per-son, its only a small wonder why the majority of the stu-dent body would rather read MSUB Confessions.

Please dont mistake me as someone who thinks that the confessions nonsense is an adequate model for reform. I am merely just asking you to consider the audience a little better especially when pick-ing front page articles. Ive seen compelling things with-in the paper; the problem is getting people to open it. If they dont, I dont think that anyone will attempt to con-tribute to the conversations that you hope to be having. Thats what university news-papers are about. Print sure as hell may be dying but I worry that the way things are going here you might as well be dig-ging your own grave.

An interesting thing happens every se-mester as we get clos-er and closer to finals week. We begin to see a change as what is considered accept-able clothing in public deteri-orates from fashion into paja-mas. People who at the begin-ning of the semester wouldn't have dreamed of letting peo-ple see them without comb-ing their hair and putting on makeup or shaving are sud-denly showing up in stained sweats with a good start to dreadlocks. Last semester I personally gave up and just started wearing leggings as pants.

For me this phenomenon just gets worse and worse the closer I get to graduation. My professors from fresh-man year may remember me always showing up in nice

clothes, always with my hair braided and makeup perfect. At the rate I'm going I will probably walk for graduation in some footie jammies and Ugg boots with my hair in a headband.

The thing is though, finals fashion isn't all bad. Sure it looks bad, but it also shows that you have more important things on your mind. When you have a 15-page term pa-per to write, a 10-minute presentation to set up and a painting to finish, matching your shirt to your socks real-ly should be the last thing on your mind. Now this is not to say that we should give up on acceptable clothing choic-es altogether--although I'm not going to complain if I can walk around in sweats all the time and still look good--but maybe it shouldn't be our main focus most of the time.

During finals week we start to zero in on what is

important, our school work. Once we realize that is where we need to focus our energy then we begin to let all the unimportant things fall to the wayside. However, shouldn't our coursework be the main focus all of the time? This is not to say that we shouldn't try to look decent, but maybe doing homework should take priority over blow drying our hair at least most of the time. If we all managed to do this all semester then maybe fi-nals week would be a bit less hectic and ridiculous looking.

Dont lose faith in humanity yet

HOLLY DANIELS Opinion Writer

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the help-ers. You will always find peo-ple who are helping.' This quote from Fred Rogers has been seen quite a bit in the news lately, and for good rea-son. There have been some horrible events happening in this country. Most recently, a bomb went off at the Bos-ton Marathon, killing 3 peo-ple and injuring many others. The idea that something like that could have happened in one of our major cities at such a major event is terri-fying, but I remembered this quip from Mr. Rogers and looked for the helpers.

When things started ex-ploding, people started to run toward the carnage. They

knew that people were hurt and scared, some near death, and knew that they needed help. There were many med-ical volunteers already on hand that had signed up to deal with small things like de-hydration and exhaustion and they were suddenly thrown into the middle of a major medical emergency where people were missing limbs and losing blood. But they didn't run away. They ran to help people and rushed them away from danger as fast as they could, even though there was possibly still danger to themselves.

One of the most amazing stories was of the 15 Nation-al Guard Soldiers who did the entire marathon in full gear with 40-pound packs and then raced to help people after the bombs went off. Even though this was something that they did not train to help with in this country, they knew when they were needed and raced to help. This is inspiring for ev-erybody in everyday life, not just in times of disaster.

When we see people in need, do we rush to help them? Are you one of the helpers? There doesn't have to be a bomb go-ing off for people to need help; people need help every day. If you see somebody stranded on the side of the road with a flat tire, do you stop to help? When you see a child without a warm coat or a good meal, do you stop to help? We can all be helpers, even if it is just one disaster at a time. After all, if we won't be the helpers in each personal disaster, who will?

It is easy to point out prob-lems, but the only tan-gible problem identified in Ashlee Twifords article Well, Allow me to Retort is that Retort articles are bor-ing and obsolete. Yet, our failure is also her failure. At any time during this school year she, and the rest of the student body, have had the opportunity to submit a su-perior article tailored to our audience. But, unfortunate-ly, that was not always the case. It is easy to be critical of others who actually take time out of their day to write, who put in the effort to cov-er whats happening at MSUB, and who stay up late putting the paper together, all on top of school work and other re-sponsibilities. The work re-quired to do this consistently is no small feat. When think-ing of our failures we would consider the effort that peo-ple like Ashlee have decided not to take. And we dont ask for pity; we love what we do and only wish other students

felt the same way about the campus newspaper. But there is a stark difference in point-ing out problems and pointing out solutions, and write bet-ter articles is not a solution, its a cop-out.

The comparison to the Thrifty Nickel is flatter-ing. A major goal this year was to build up our classi-fied section which hasnt ex-actly caught on just yet. But we have hope, so bear with us. Highlights magazine has an amazingly broad audience around the nation and we can only hope to reach that kind of popularity, though I high-ly doubt that kind of publica-tion would be inclined to pub-lish a front page story on the Governor visiting a college campus, which certainly af-fects the students and facul-ty of MSUB; and we, at least, think it deserves front page recognition.

As I am sure many people know, the MSUB campus is without a journalism or de-sign program. We at The Re-tort are left to our own devic-es to figure out how to make a paper come together twelve

times during the school year.We are in a constant state

of improvement. This im-provement is not measured is-sue to issue but rather volume to volume. We encourage all students to stop by The Re-tort office and look at our 60-plus years of archives. In 2007, The Retort was dealt a signif-icant blow and was ultimate-ly shut down by ASMSUB. The campus newspaper lost considerable momentum and a knowledge base for how to operate a paper. The dedi-cated students that took it on themselves to bring it back around 2009 gave us a la-bor of love that was obvious-ly below standard. From year to year, we have made steady improvements, due to the tire-less efforts of a few motivat-ed people.

One problem is we have in-herited an obsolete payment structure. Staff writers are as-signed a section and given a salary. This can lead to both repetition and stagnation. Our new approach that you can look forward to seeing next year is a pay-by-the-article system open to all students,

not just our hired staff writers. This will hopefully encourage students to write lessboring and obsolete articles.

The Retort has, by no means, met its maximum po-tential. It is a constant work in progress and though at times it may come across as more work than progress, at least for those of us work-

ing on it, I can assure you that The Retort will continue to improve. So, keep reading, submitting, criticizing, and, maybe, on some distant date in the near future, well make everyone fall in love with the campus newspaper all over again.

9Make an Earth Day Resolution This YearLet me start off by say-ing that I drink a lot of energy drinks. I prac-tically live on Red Bull and have been jokingly threat-ened with an intervention by my family and friends. I have considered buying stock in the company and tried to put myself in a Facebook re-lationship with Red Bull. (It won't let me, by the way. Ap-parently the relationship is one-sided.) What this means is that I have a lot of cans. Now I found out a few years ago that less than half of alu-minum cans actually get re-cycled; most of them just end up in a landfill. They are one of the easiest things to recy-cle and it is actually more ef-ficient to recycle them than make new ones.

Around campus we have recycling bins all over the

HOLLY DANIELS Opinion Writer

place. There are bins next to nearly every trash can so it's easy enough to toss your cans in there. If you are one of the people who walk right past those bins and still throw your can in the trash, well

shame on you. You are a hor-rible person and will likely end up in a special pit of hell where they run you constant-ly through a can crusher for the rest of eternity. But for the rest of you, good job!

Now, when you're not on campus, it does take a tiny bit of effort to recycle your cans. I say tiny because it re-ally doesn't take much effort and it's actually worth it be-cause at the end you get mon-

ey. I simply smoosh all of my cans and keep them in a box outside the back door. When the box is full I take it down to Allied Waste Services on Charles Street off Monad and they give me money for them. Granted it's not much money, but for the amount of effort I put in it makes it worth it.

As a mom I found out the greatest trick ever: make the kids crush the cans. Small children think that stepping on cans until they are flat is great fun and it gets even bet-ter when you give them a dol-lar for doing it. Kids love go-ing to the recycling center and watching the cans go up the conveyer belt, get sucked up a giant tube and then blown across the room at a high rate of speed. I must admit, I also think it is pretty cool. Then they end up with a cut of the profits from the work they did crushing the cans and every-

body wins.If you don't have any small

children of your own, bor-row some from somebody else. It is always recommend-ed that you ask before bor-rowing somebody's children and it usually goes over better if you know them first. I am willing to bet that most of you have a sibling or a friend or even a neighbor with children who would be more than will-ing to let their children come over and crush your cans and let you give them money for it.

So this year make an Earth Day resolution to put in the smallest amount of effort you can to keep the planet healthy. Keep cans out of the landfills by throwing them in the recy-cle bins when they are avail-able and by hiring small chil-dren to do your manual labor for your cans at home.

10

CORY LOVECSports Writer

The NFL draft has be-come nothing less than a spectacle. From hopeful fans awaiting their favorite teams draft pickstheir teams futureto casu-al NFL and college football fans who are simply miss-ing football, the NFL draft has changed from what used to be a footnote in the morn-ing newspaper to prime time television. As this years 78th annual NFL draft comes to pass, here are some general facts about the draft that you should know:

The current draft system is composed of 7 rounds. Each team is allotted one pick per round (some teams have more or less depending on trades of their picks to other teams).

The draft is split into three days.

- Day 1: The 1st round. This is typically the most exciting round, as teams jump up or down the draft board in order to pick their favorite player (or the best player available). The best talent (obviously) is taken in the first round, and first-round choices tend to be the most highly hyped and highly talented players from the big-name schools. Teams are allowed 10 minutes to make their selection. Using last years time as an estimate, this round should take approximately 3 hours.

-Day 2: The 2nd and 3rd rounds. Still high in talent, the 2nd and 3rd rounds can still be quite exciting.

Experts agree that this year, rounds 2-5 will have a greater number of talented players than in previous years, and that the talent in round one is not as high overall. In round 2, teams are allowed 7 minutes to make a pick; in round 3, that number is reduced to 5 minutes. Again, using last year as a time estimate, day 2 should take approximately 3.5-4 hours.

-Day 3: Rounds 4-7. This day is usually only interesting to the most diehard fans (or those with a family member hopefully awaiting that special phone call), as teams are now looking at the bottom end of their boards, and talent is in general not as high (although low-round picks can become huge stealsthink Tom Brady). Teams now have 5 minutes/selection; day 3 should take between 6.5-7.5 hours to complete.

And, now that you are aware of the draft process

(although that may have been review for some of you), here are some interesting historical records and facts about the NFL draft:

The first NFL draft occurred in 1936. The first overall pick in the draft was Jay Berwanger, who was drafted by the Philadelphia Eagles after winning the Downtown Athletic Clubs award (now known as the Heisman trophy); he never played a down in the NFL, as he asked for too much money.

This years draft class set the record for most undergraduates (either juniors or third-year sophomores) entered, with 75; this marks the third straight year that this record has been broken.

Oakland Raider punter Ray Guy is the only punter to ever be drafted in the first round of the NFL draft. He was drafted by the Raiders at #23 overall in 1973.

William Shakespeare

was drafted in the first-ever NFL draft! Okay, so not the same Shakespeare. This Shakespeare, much like his more famous namesake, did not play a single down in the NFL.

In 1974, the Pittsburgh Steelers had what most would consider the single-best draft class ever. They drafted four future Hall-of-Famers: Lynn Swann, Jack Lambert, John Stallworth, and Mike Webster.

Aside from Berwanger, the only #1 overall pick to not play a down in the NFL was Ernie Davis. After becoming the first African American to win the Heisman Trophy, Davis was drafted by the Cleveland Browns; unfortunately, Davis was diagnosed with leukemia the same year and passed away a year later.

Hall-of Famers Johnny Unitas and Len Dawson were both drafted by the Pittsburgh Steelers. Neither had real careers as Steelers though (as

the Steelers of the time were terrible), but both went on to become all-time greats for other teams.

Currently, 13 #1 overall picks have been inducted into the Hall of Fame; the most recent, Troy Aikman (UCLA), who was the 1st overall pick of the Dallas Cowboys in 1989. Bill Dudley was the first of these #1 overall picks inducted to the HOF.

In 2000, the New York Jets had four 1st-round picks; although the HOF may not be in the future of any of them, they were decent players (John Abraham, Shaun Ellis, Chad Pennington, and Anthony Brecht).

USC is the only school to ever produce back-to back #1 overall picks; in 1968, the Vikings selected USC tackle Ron Yary #1 overall, and the following year the Bills selected Heisman Trophy winner O.J. Simpson.

Boston Marathon Bombing: heavy hearts around the country

Panic. Shock. A hope that what was happen-ing was not going to turn into dj vu; hopes that the unthinkable happenings of 9/11 were not going to be repeated. Those are just some of the things that were run-ning through the minds of Americans when the bombs exploded at the Boston Mar-athon. But now, it seems as though what is thought to have been a terrorist attack meant to invoke fear in Amer-icans has not done so. No, in contrast, it has rallied Amer-icans and sparked more anger than fear.

Polls conducted by Fox News indicate that over the years, the number of Americans concerned about a terrorist attack has ranged from a high of 43% (October 2001) to a low of 20% (September 2002). When asked just the day after the bombing, 58% of those polled stated they were angry, while only 27% say they felt worried. These are promising numbers if you are an American, but may be troubling if you are a terrorist behind the attacks. As of when this article was written, the death toll of the bombings stood at 3 (including an 8-yr old boy), while an estimated 176 were injured in the bombing. Now, compared to some bombings and other related attacks, these numbers are not astronomicalbut that does not lessen the dastardliness

of the actions witnessed on Monday, April 15th.

The bombings happened just hours after Fenway Park (~1.5 miles from where the incident occurred) emptied after the conclusion of a Red Sox game. As is common practice in sports with a tragedy like this, local-area sporting events were cancelled, including a Boston Bruins game and a Boston Celtics game. Its always difficult for organizations to decide how long to wait before resuming game play

after an incident like this (organizations, and most people in general, hope they never have to deal with such an event).

With heavy hearts, the Boston Bruins resumed game play on the Wednesday after the attack. In front of a sellout crowd of 17,565 and accompanied on the ice by the Boston Fire Department Honor Guard, Rene Rancourt, the Boston Bruins iconic anthem singer, delivered what may become one of his most memorable anthems to

date. Well, Rancourt didnt really do it alone; he was accompanied by 17,565 other singersor at least those who could hold the tears back long enough to sing. In fact, in preparation for writing this article I watched a video of the anthem; it wasnt long before I was in tears, and throughout writing about it I had chills. Its truly one of those moments that those in attendance (and even those who just watched from afar) will certainly never forget, and it reminds athletes and

fans alike that, although we may sometimes think the outcomes of sports are life-or-death situations, they really are not, and there are much more important things in life.

The Bruins game was not an unimportant game. In fact, it was quite the opposite. With a win, the Bruins would have clinched a spot in the playoffs. Plus, the Bruins wanted to win not only for themselves, but for their city; for their country. Yet, a thrilling game, one in which the Bruins lost in overtime (still clinching

a playoff spot with their one point earned from going into overtime), will not be remembered a year from now. One year from now, ten years from now, those other special moments of that night (like the anthem) will be. Said Bruins player Patrice Bergeron: What happened the last few days, it put things into perspective [] you make sure you realize that were trying to do this for our city and it was special to be part of it.

11

MSU BILLINGSMSUB Athletics

Photo by MSUB Media Relations

Jackets Baseball LookS to Confirm Post Season Goals

Montana State Bill-ings baseball team headed into Nampa, Idaho focused on sealing up a spot in the inaugural Great Northwest Athletic Confer-ence Championship Tourna-ment.

After grinding through a tough series where MSUB had to battle a tough Saints team and the weather, the Jackets finds themselves third in GNAC standings; two games behind Central Washington and three games ahead of Northwest Nazarene. If MSU Billings wins three out of four games against the Crusaders, they would assure a spot in the inaugural GNAC Championship Tournament, where only the top three teams in the conference qualify. Out of 300 Division II teams, the Yellowjackets rank 25th in triples, and 92nd in slugging percentage. In the GNAC MSUB ranks first in runs scored (210) and RBIs (191); and second in slugging percentage (.399) and on base percentage (.374). The hurlers rank second in hits allowed (348), and third in ERA (5.37) and opposing batting average (.288).

Men's Tennis Receives Seven All-RMAC Selections

Following a successful conference run where the Montana State Billings men's tennis team finished third in the Rocky Mountain Athletic Conference, the Yellowjackets have earned a total of seven all-conference selections.

MSUB had four singles selections and three doubles selections. Navin Marimuthu (Sr. Chennai, India) and Brandon Beardsley (R-Fr. San Diego, Cali.) earned First Team All-RMAC Singles honors. Beardsley finished

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the year with 10 singles victories, playing primarily at the No. 4 spot. Marimuthu, who played the team's No. 1, notched seven singles wins this season.

In his first year with the program, Christian Fischer (Jr. Berlin, Germany) was a Second Team All-RMAC Singles selection. He finished with nine singles victories at the No. 2 position. Kavindu Gamage (Jr. Melboure, Australia) reeled in Third Team All-RMAC Singles honors with nine wins, primarily playing at the No. 5 slot.

In doubles, Marimuthu/ Fischer earned Second Team

All-RMAC Doubles honors. The tandem racked up five doubles victories in 2013 at No. 1 doubles. Beardsley/ Josh Hedderig (Fr. Cave Creek, Ariz.) and Gamage/ Brad Knutson (Sr. Billings, Mont.) were Third Team All-RMAC Doubles selections. Both teams notched six doubles wins on the year playing at No. 2 and No. 3 doubles.

The Yellowjackets'

Brady Muller ranks No. 1 in the GNAC in opposing batting average (.219) and fifth in ERA (3.70) and strikeouts (45). Joe Andriolo ranks No. 6 in opposing batting average (.270) and ninth in ERA (4.93).

Travis Vincent continues to shut teams down out of the bullpen, with an ERA of 1.16 and tied for fourth in the GNAC in saves (3).

Brody Miller and Colby Robison continue to find holes in the opponents' defense ranking fifth and sixth in the conference in hits. Along with his 47 hits, Miller has scored a GNAC leading 33 runs. With 45 hits, Robison ranks second in the conference in RBIs (28) and third in runs scored (28).

Drew Fosnes (.571) and Mack Unruh (.490) have also contributed great offense this season ranking No. 3 and No. 5 in the GNAC in slugging percentage. Austin Rue has been spectacular batting in the lead off position; recording a .304 batting average, 38 hits, 27 runs (ranked fifth in the GNAC), 20 RBIs and 55 total bases.

Northwest Nazarene comes into this series focused, as they play to keep their post season hopes alive. In their last series the Yellowjackets

and Crusaders split, with Northwest Nazarene winning the last two contests. As a team they rank fourth in batting average (.273), on base percentage (.349) and slugging percentage (.376). The pitchers rank fourth in ERA (5.93) and opposing batting average (.315). Logan Parker (.324) and Jamie Mitchell (.320) have fared well at the plate ranking among the top 15 hitters in the conference. In the GNAC, Logan ranks No. 1 in hits (57) and Mitchell is tied for third with 48 hits. Tyler Marsh is the team's best pitcher, with a 4.31 ERA, recording 30 strikeouts with an opposing batting average of .264.

Our upcoming series with Northwest Nazarene is our most important of the year, stated head coach Rob Bishop.

We are playing for our post season lives and Northwest is doing the same. This is exactly why it was a good move for the conference to add a post-season baseball tournament. Every team has something to play for at this point so each game has meaning. We know that Northwest will be a tough opponent as always, and we are looking forward to the challenge.

men's team will compete in the RMAC Championship Tournament April 20-21 in Grand Junction, Colo.

1212

TABBY MAUSTOutdoors Writer

Pictograph Cave State Park Offers Education and Fun

Our state is entrenched in historyLew-is and Clark have walked across and mapped our state, we've had the Bat-tle of Little Big Horn, weve had our own gold rush in Vir-ginia City and Bannack, and weve had massive copper mines in Butte that have a history all their own. Some of these events have left their mark--Captain Clark en-graved his name on Pompeys Pillar and you can explore the ghost town that is now Vir-ginia City.

This history may be closer than you think, for only five miles outside of Billings you can explore the beautiful Pic-tograph Caves that not only provide a lesson about Mon-tanas rich American Indian past but a great opportunity to get outside and stretch your legs.

The quarter-mile loop around the state park is dot-ted with pictographs that once decorated the cave walls, in-formation about the nomadic hunters that once stayed here, and facts about the current landscape.

I enjoy the overall sensa-tion of being in a place with a lot of history, says park man-ager Jarret Kostraba. Were only five miles outside of Billings but we have the bears, the mountain lions, the bob-cats. You can really put your-self in the shoes of the people who were here in the past.

The tour of Pictograph Caves starts with the new Visitor Center complete with gift shop and interpretive dis-plays to help explain the his-tory of the park. One can then enjoy a family picniccom-plete with Fido, as long he has his leashat the base of the trail and even grill up some hotdogs or marshmallows in one of the preexisting fire rings. After a bite to eat, the gentle path leads visitors to the three caves the park has to offerPictograph Cave, Mid-dle Cave, and Ghost Cave.

Pictograph Cave is cer-tainly the most well-known of the caves (giving the park its name) and has the most visi-ble of the pictographs. While many of the pictographs that used to be here are worn away due to erosion, air quality, and human damage, a few are still visible. While you can no lon-ger climb up close to these an-cient pictures, in order to pre-serve their quality, a pair of binoculars gives you the per-fect edge to see what remains.

Ghost Cave may not have the visible pictographs, but thousands of artifactsin-cluding weapons and stone tools, as well as paintingswere discovered at this site. The strange, fantastic shapes of this cave were created through the steady trickle of water along the cave walls.

While self-guided tours can be had nearly any day of the yearsummer or win-terthis park also offers plenty of special events that

play to almost any interest and age group.

The Earth Stewardship Program is a summer-long program perfect for kids from 7 to 10 who, for only $25, can spend a day each week in the summer learning about the parks and outdoors. There are classes on the native plants, native bugs, archaeology of the park, and ev