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The American Journal of Family Therapy , 36:367–387, 2008Copyright © Taylor & Francis Group, LLCISSN: 0192-6187 print / 1521-0383 onlineDOI: 10.1080/01926180701804626

Marriage and Family Therapists’ Endorsement of Myths About Marriage

BENJAMIN E. CALDWELL Marital and Family Therapy Graduate Programs, California School of Professional

Psychology, Alliant International University, Los Angeles, California, USA

SCOTT R. WOOLLEY Marital and Family Therapy Graduate Programs, California School of Professional

Psychology, Alliant International University, San Diego, California, USA

Marriage and family therapy training programs aim to provide

students with research-based knowledge about marriage and di-

vorce. A group of 223 California-based clinical members of the

American Association for Marital and Family Therapy (AAMFT)

was surveyed on their endorsement of 21 myths about marriage.

Therapists provided correct responses to an average of 9.4 of these

items. Endorsement of specific myths correlated with varying demo-

graphic, professional and family of origin variables. Implications

for therapist training, practice, and future research are discussed.

Over the past several decades, Americans in general have gradually come to view marriage more negatively and have become increasingly accepting of divorce (Pinsof, 2002). This is in spite of a vast and growing body of researchshowing that the benefits of marriage and adverse consequences of divorceare both much greater than had been previously thought (for summaries, seeDreman, 2000; Waite & Gallagher, 2000).

A myth is defined as a belief that is widely held in spite of overwhelm-

ing evidence that it is not true. When the general population endorsesmyths about marriage, results are problematic. For example, a couple whoincorrectly believe that children are better off with divorced parents than

with parents who are unhappily married may be at heightened risk for

This article is based on a doctoral dissertation by Benjamin E. Caldwell, titled “Marriageand Family Therapists’ Attitudes toward Marriage.”

The authors would like to thank the participants who graciously shared their opinions.The authors also would like to thank Janice W. Cone, Ph.D., and Ann W. Lawson, Ph.D., fortheir valuable contributions to this research.

Address correspondence to Benjamin Caldwell, Alliant International University, 1000 S.Fremont Avenue, Unit 5, Alhambra, CA 91803. E-mail: [email protected]

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368 B. E. Caldwell and S. R. Woolley

divorce. They may choose divorce over attempts to repair their relationship,believing it to be better for all involved in spite of evidence showing that,for most families, that is not the case (Cherlin, Chase-Lansdale, & McRae,1998; McLanahan & Sandefur, 1994).

Marriage and family therapists can play an important role in improvingthe marital health of both their clients and the public by directly confrontingmyths about marriage and divorce. A couple who enters a marriage expectingthat romantic love and good luck will be the primary determinants of whetherthe marriage survives may feel that the marriage is doomed as romance fades.

An equally ill-informed therapist, believing the same myth, may focus therapy on attempts to restore romantic love, a short-term fix at best. Well-informedcouples and their therapists, on the other hand, understand that the quality of the couple’s friendship is a much stronger determinant of marital longevity and happiness, and focus their efforts in that direction (Gottman, 1999).

Myths About Marriage

Recent studies have discounted several ideas about marriage that were sup-ported by older research or less sophisticated research methods. Several of these myths persist, however. Belief in myths about marriage may fosterchanges in attitudes toward marriage and divorce, even among marital ther-apists. Such beliefs could ultimately impact the quality of care provided by MFTs. Therapists who endorse mythological statements about what makes amarriage work risk pursuing flawed treatment goals based on that inaccurate

knowledge.For the purposes of this study, marital myths were collected from re-

views by Popenoe (2001, 2002), Larson (1988), and Waite and Gallagher(2000). While other worthwhile reviews are certainly available (e.g., Lazarus,1985), these four reviews were chosen because of their specific focus onmarital myths, their emphasis on empirical research and, in the case of Larson (1988), the availability of information about the popularity of thosemyths among both professional marriage educators and undergraduate col-lege students. A total of 31 unique myths are discussed in the four reviews.Of those, the following 20 myths were selected for use as part of this study.Selection was based upon the definitiveness of current research indicatingthe statement was a myth, and the degree to which the false belief was heldby the general population (when known). Citations immediately followingthe myths refer to the reviews in which the myths were highlighted.

H AVING CHILDREN USUALLY INCREASES MARITAL SATISFACTION FOR BOTH PARTNERS(L ARSON, 1988; POPENOE, 2001, 2002)

The arrival of the first child usually decreases marital satisfaction for both

partners, as they struggle with increased stress and responsibility and have


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Marital Myths 369

less time to spend on the marital relationship (Cowan & Cowan, 1995;Heaton, 1990; Waite & Lillard, 1991; Shapiro, Gottman, & Carrere, 2000).The literature has been clear on this point for some time; Larson (1988) citessix separate studies from the 1970s debunking this myth.

MEN REAP FAR GREATER BENEFITS FROM MARRIAGE THAN WOMEN (POPENOE, 2001; WAITE & GALLAGHER , 2000)

Early reports that marriage benefits men much more than it does women(e.g., Bernard, 1972) led to a small feminist backlash against the institution of marriage itself, with some authors calling on women to avoid it altogether (fora more thorough review of feminist perspectives on marriage, see Rampage,2002). Recent research, however, has shown that men and women bothbenefit substantially from marriage, with benefits to men being largely health

related and benefits to women being largely economic (Waite & Gallagher,2000), though both sexes receive some of the benefits usually attributed tothe other. In short, “Both men and women live longer, happier, healthierand wealthier lives when they are married” (Popenoe, 2002, paragraph 1).

COLLEGE-EDUCATED WOMEN ARE LESS LIKELY TO MARRY THAN WOMEN WITH LESSEDUCATION (POPENOE, 2002)

Decades ago, women were less likely to marry if they were college ed-ucated. But the education trend has since reversed, with college-educated

women now being more likely to marry than their less educated counterparts(Goldstein & Kenney, 2001).

SINGLE PEOPLE HAVE MORE SEX AND CONSIDER THEIR SEX LIVES MORE SATISFYINGTHAN MARRIED COUPLES (POPENOE, 2002)

While single people may brag about their sexual experiences more often thantheir married counterparts, married people actually have sex more often andfind the sex more physically and emotionally satisfying (Laumann, Gagnon,

Michael, & Michaels, 1994; Waite & Joyner, 2001). For the purposes of thisstudy, this myth was split into two separate myths, “Single people have moresex than married people” and “Single people consider their sex lives moresatisfying than married people consider theirs to be.” This split left a total of 21 myths to be included in this study.

THE HIGH DIVORCE RATE WEEDS OUT UNHAPPY MARRIAGES, LEAVING THE AVERAGEMARRIAGE HAPPIER THAN 20 YEARS AGO (POPENOE, 2002)

The average marriage is no happier than it was 20 years ago. In fact, couples

today experience more marital conflict and less interaction as a couple than


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their counterparts in the 1970s and 1980s (Amato, Johnson, Booth, & Rogers,2003; Rogers & Amato, 1997, 2000).

COHABITATION BEFORE MARRIAGE DECREASES THE CHANCE OF DIVORCE (L ARSON,1988; POPENOE, 2001, 2002)

This myth appears to be so widespread, and has so strongly been contra-dicted by empirical research, that it appears in three of the four reviews of marital myths utilized in this study. Couples who cohabitate prior to mar-riage divorce more often than those who do not (DeMaris & Rao, 1992;Kamp Dush, Cohan, & Amato, 2003). It is presently unclear the degree to

which cohabitation in and of itself is the problem, and the degree to whicha selection effect occurs, wherein those who choose to cohabitate prior tomarriage have a differing set of values around marriage than those who donot. A review of cohabitation literature by Popenoe and Whitehead (2002)found support for both and noted that, while some studies have been unclearon the degree to which cohabitation affects divorce rates, no study has everdemonstrated cohabitation reducing chances of divorce. Stanley, Rhoades,and Markman (2006) also found support for both arguments, and proposedan explanation for how the risk of divorce and dissatisfaction may be raisedby the cohabitation experience itself, beyond simple selection effects. They argued that the “inertia of cohabitation” (p. 499) may lead some cohabitatingcouples to marry when they otherwise would not have deemed themselves

ready to do so.

THE MAJORITY OF COUPLES WHO DIVORCE ARE HIGH-CONFLICT COUPLES

Both Popenoe (2001) and Waite and Gallagher (2000) include discussion on what happens in a marriage when the marriage becomes “unhappy.” Themyth as Popenoe puts it is that “Being very unhappy at certain points ina marriage is a good sign that the marriage will eventually end in divorce”(paragraph 9) and backs up his conclusion this is a myth with research

on marital conflict. Amato and Booth (1997) found that less than a thirdof divorcing parents had marriages that could be considered high-conflict. A mere 30 percent of divorcing spouses reported three or more seriousarguments in the past month, and less than one in four said they and theirspouses disagreed often or very often. Other studies have shown a variety of marital problems that are predictive of divorce, with conflict per se not onthe list. For example, in a study by Amato and Rogers (1997), infidelity, druguse, and spending money foolishly were most strongly predictive of divorce.The presence of conflict in a relationship is relatively weak in predictingdivorce; examining how couples resolve conflict produces much stronger

predictors (Gottman, Coan, Carrere, & Swanson, 1998).


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Amato (2006, p. 525) found no significant relationship between wives’ em-ployment level and husbands’ marital satisfaction, concluding instead that“[W]ives’ employment makes marriages more stable but not any happier (orunhappier).”

W IVES’ MARITAL SATISFACTION IS HIGHER WHEN THEY ARE FULL-TIME HOMEMAKERSTHAN WHEN THEY ARE EMPLOYED (L ARSON, 1988)

Again, since the 1970s research has found no consistent and significant dif-ference in marital satisfaction for either partner based on the employmentstatus of the wife (Larson, 1988; Schoen, Rogers, & Amato, 2006). Somestudies suggest that wives’ employment may actually raise their marital sat-isfaction (e.g., Rogers & De Boer, 2001), though such a link remains only

weakly supported (for a review, see Schoen, Rogers, & Amato, 2006).

HUSBANDS MAKE MORE LIFESTYLE ADJUSTMENTS IN MARRIAGE THAN WIVES(L ARSON, 1988)

“Men tend to be less involved in their marriages than women and are lessaffected by the different stages of the family life cycle” (Larson, 1988, p. 9).Most studies find that women make more adjustments in marriage than mendo, and that women find marriage more stressful than men (Bell, Daly,& Gonzales, 1987; Chickering & Havighurst, 1981; Glenn, 1975). Womentypically accept influence from their husbands, while many men are not soaccommodating with their wives (Gottman, 1999).

THE MORE SOMEONE GIVES THEIR SPOUSE INFORMATION, POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE, THEGREATER THE MARITAL SATISFACTION OF BOTH PARTNERS (L ARSON, 1988)

Only positive self-disclosure increases marital satisfaction (Holman & Brock,1986; Schumm, Barnes, Bollman, Jurich, & Bugaighis, 1986). More recently,Gottman (1999) has demonstrated that the quality of interactions, in particular

the ratio of positive interactions to negative ones, is far more impactful onthe satisfaction of both partners than the simple frequency of interactions.

“UNTIL DEATH DO US PART” MEANS SIGNIFICANTLY MORE TIME TODAY THAN IT DID50 YEARS AGO, DUE TO HIGHER LIFE EXPECTANCIES (POPENOE, 2002)

Longer life expectancies are primarily a product of reduced infant and childmortality. With that factored out, what little increase in life expectancy overthe past 50 years remains is largely negated by the later age at which people

are marrying in the United States (Glenn, 1997). Government data supports


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Marital Myths 373

this conclusion. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC; 2002) reports thatlife expectancy at birth continues to rapidly increase, adding 9 years since1950. Life expectancy at age 20, however, is increasing much more slowly,adding roughly 6.5 years in the same time period. The average age at first

marriage in the United States is increasing at a similar rate, adding 5 years for women and 4 years for men since 1950 (Center for Family and DemographicResearch, 2002). Together, these statistics mean that a marriage “until deathdo us part” is not getting substantially longer.

FOLLOWING A DIVORCE, THE ECONOMIC STANDARD OF LIVING DROPS ROUGHLY THESAME AMOUNT FOR BOTH PARTNERS (POPENOE, 2001)

Popenoe noted that specific figures on men’s and women’s changes in stan-dard of living following a divorce had persisted in the literature in spite of their having been widely discredited. Divorce increases a man’s economicstandard of living, while lowering it for his ex-wife, though neither changeis as dramatic as the numbers Popenoe noted as having gained notoriety.This gender gap has been steady in recent years (Peterson, 1996).

M ARRIED WOMEN ARE AT GREATER RISK FOR VIOLENCE THAN SINGLE WOMEN (W AITE &G ALLAGHER , 2000)

Popenoe (2002) also discussed the issue, narrowing it specifically to domestic

violence. Overall, women who are married are at less risk for becoming victims of violence than their single counterparts (Waite & Gallagher, 2000).The National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS), a nationally representativesample of 100,000 United States residents, treated marriage as a dichotomous

variable (married vs. nonmarried) and found nonmarried people of bothgenders at much greater risk of violence ( p


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THE FACTORS MOST OFTEN CITED BY LONG-MARRIED COUPLES AS REASONS FOR THEIR SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGES ARE ROMANTIC LOVE AND GOOD LUCK (L ARSON, 1988;POPENOE, 2002)

Larson’s (1988) review of literature concluded “most couples do not identify

romantic love as the kind of love that helps maintain marital satisfaction overthe life span” (p. 10). More recently, Gottman (1999) found that a couple’sperception of the quality of their friendship is most predictive of their long-term marital success.

CHILDREN ARE BETTER OFF WITH DIVORCED PARENTS THAN WITH PARENTS WHO AREUNHAPPILY MARRIED (POPENOE, 2001; W AITE & G ALLAGHER , 2000)

The effects of parental divorce in and of itself are pervasive and long-lasting

for many children (Cherlin, Chase-Lansdale, & McRae, 1998; McLanahan& Sandefur, 1994). Married parents—even unhappily married parents—canprovide children with benefits divorced parents cannot, including greatereconomic standing, stronger family bonds, stronger connections with thecommunity, more available time for parent-child interaction, and better over-all emotional health (Waite & Gallagher, 2000).

THE QUALITY OF A MARRIED COUPLE’S SEX LIFE IS THE SINGLE BEST STATISTICAL

PREDICTOR OF OVERALL MARITAL SATISFACTION (L ARSON, 1988)In a study comparing overall marital satisfaction with nine other variables,the quality of a couple’s sex life ranked fourth, behind affective and problem-solving communication, common interests, and amount and quality of leisuretime together (Snyder, 1979). Broadly, the quality of a couple’s friendship isfar more essential to their marital satisfaction than the quality of their sex life(Gottman, 1999).

Factors Impacting Endorsement of Myths About MarriagePERSONAL EXPERIENCE AND DEMOGRAPHIC FACTORS

Individual beliefs about marriage and divorce, including endorsement of specific myths about marriage, may be fostered by personal experiencessuch as divorce. These beliefs may also be connected to demographic factors,such as age, ethnicity, and religion. Personal experience and demographicfactors have long been known to influence attitudes toward marriage (e.g.,Gibardi & Rosen, 1992; Jennings, Salts, & Smith, 1991; Thornton, 1985); it isnot known, however, how such variables correlate with factual knowledge

about marriage.


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TABLE 1 Selected Demographic and Professional Characteristics

AAMFT nationally CAMFT (Riemersma,Characteristic Present study (Northey, 2002) 2004

n 223 292 900

Age M = 53.6 M = 53 M = 54.6SD = 9.9 SD = 8.6 SD not given

Gender 74% female 58% female 80% female26% male 42% male 20% male

Ethnicity 87% Caucasian 95% Caucasian 93% Caucasian5% Multiple/Mixed 2% Native

American/Alaskan2% Latino

2% Asian 2% Other 1% African-American2% Other 1% Hispanic 1% Multiracial1% Hispanic 1% Asian 1% Asian/Pacific

Islander


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RESULTS

Marital Myths Survey

Participants’ responses on individual items are summarized in Table 2. Prac-

ticing MFTs provided correct responses to an average of 12.50 of the 25items on the myths questionnaire (n = 208; SD = 2.75). Excluding the four“common knowledge” items, the average MFT provided correct responsesto an average of 9.4 out of 21 myths. The average MFT incorrectly en-dorsed 7.38 untrue statements about marriage (SD = 2.52), or 7.00 (SD =2.41) when excluding the “common knowledge” items. Remaining responses

were “Unsure/don’t know.” Unlike in Larson’s (1988) study, respondents inthe present study were offered an “Unsure/Don’t know” option and werepresented statements with which to “Agree” or “Disagree.” Larson presentedstatements in the form of true/false questions. Even if every “Unsure/Don’t

know” response in this study was counted as a correct answer, the presentgroup would still perform much worse than Larson’s group on almost ev-ery myth appearing in both studies. This may indicate that the family lifeeducators Larson studied focused more on research as part of their training.

Table 2 also notes the subgroups, defined by professional, demographic,and educational variables, who performed significantly better or worse onspecific myths than their counterparts. For example, more experienced ther-apists were more likely to correctly identify the statement “Having childrenusually brings a married couple closer together” as a myth. Therapists whoidentified their primary theoretical orientation as cognitive-behavioral weremore likely than therapists of other orientations to incorrectly endorse themyth that “The majority of couples who divorce are high-conflict couples.”To guard against spurious correlations, given the high number of variablesbeing assessed, only correlations significant at p


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Marital Myths 379

TABLE 2 Item Responses on Knowledge Questionnaire

% correct Subgroups morein Larson, likely (+) or less

True/ % 1988 likely (−) to answerStatement Falsea n correct (n = 50)b correctly c at p


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TABLE 2 Item Responses on Knowledge Questionnaire (Continued)

% correct Subgroups morein Larson, likely (+) or less

True/ % 1988 likely (−) to answerStatement Falsea n correct (n = 50)b correctly c at p


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Marital Myths 381

these connections. In many cases, the connections between specific variablesand a tendency to correctly or incorrectly identify specific myths makessense. For example, it seems logical that married therapists would havea more keen understanding of the sex lives of married people than their

unmarried counterparts. It also is understandable that cognitive-behavioraltherapists would presume that most divorces are based on high levels of conflict, even though this presumption is ultimately incorrect. In other in-stances, however, the connections make less sense. Postmodern therapists

were more likely than therapists of other orientations to correctly identify thestatement “Children are better off with divorced parents than parents who areunhappily married” as a myth. As this does not appear to be clearly linked

with any element of postmodern theory, it may be a spurious correlation.The second hypothesis was not supported. Neither degree level nor

the number of classes one had in graduate training emphasizing research on

marriage and divorce appeared to impact endorsement of myths about mar-riage. On one myth, those with doctoral degrees actually performed worsethan those with master’s degrees. On only one specific myth did the numberof classes one had emphasizing marriage research have a positive effect.

Limitations

The focus on MFTs in this study limits the degree to which results can begeneralized to therapists in other related disciplines, such as Psychology.Even among MFTs, there is limited information available to determine the

representativeness of this sample; clinical members of AAMFT based in Cal-ifornia may be similar to MFTs across the country on known demographiccharacteristics (Northey, 2002), but this does not necessarily mean they arealso similar in knowledge. Within California, clinical members of AAMFTrepresent only a minority of licensed MFTs, and it is not known how non-members of AAMFT might have fared on the same survey.

A limitation of this study may come from the low internal consistency of the myths questionnaire. However, Little, Lindenberger, and Nesselroade(1999) caution against the temptation to throw out results in their entirety based on this single measure. They argue that while a low alpha should

trigger a close examination of individual item responses, it is not sufficientinformation to conclude that either an overall score or the construct it pre-sumes has no utility. The marital myths examined here are largely not in-terdependent. However, in the interest of presenting results conservatively,the focus in reporting of this study is directed more toward individual itemsthan overall scores on the myths questionnaire.

Implications for Treatment

These results must not be interpreted as a display of competence, or lack

thereof, among practicing MFTs. No research to date has demonstrated a


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Marital Myths 383

said they only had one such class. As age did not appear to make a substan-tive difference in overall knowledge about marriage, it does not appear thatmore recent graduation leads to more accurate knowledge. Surely, though,

where myths about marriage persist among MFTs, the graduate training pro-

cess provides the best opportunity to correct them. Course content focusedspecifically on research around marriage and other family life factors may need to be increased in MFT training programs.

Some may argue that the research findings discussed in the myths ques-tionnaire are normative, reflective of general trends among married anddivorced families, and these are not as important for therapists to be trainedin as methods for working with each unique couple. However, trainingprograms frequently emphasize the importance of normative knowledge inproviding a framework for therapy. Cross-cultural education in particular isbased on the notion that “the culturally competent mental health profes-

sional must possess specific knowledge and information about the particulargroup with which he or she is working” (Sue & Sue, 2003, p. 21). Withoutnormative knowledge on marriage and divorce, knowledge in other areassuch as treatment planning, research methodology, family development, andtheory, lacks an important foundational element that would seem essentialto the effective practice of marital therapy.

Implications for Research

Nearly every MFT in this survey endorsed at least one myth about marriage.It is unknown at this time how such beliefs manifest themselves in the coupletherapy process or how they affect therapy outcomes. Given the researchshowing that therapist beliefs about age, weight, race, and social class may impact therapy process and outcome (Davis-Coelho, Waltz, & Davis-Coelho,2000; Franklin, 1985; Perlick & Atkins, 1984; Spector, 2001), it seems likely that marital therapy would be affected by beliefs about marriage. Futureresearch may more directly address these issues.

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