neediness banish

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Author: rhay

Post on 07-Dec-2015




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How To Banish Neediness

By Rhay The disclaimer: This should go without saying, but it’s a fact: This book is copyright, 2013-2014, all rights reserved. It is illegal to copy, steal, distribute, or create derivative work from this book in its entirety or in part. It is also illegal to contribute to this crime. The information in this book is an opinion. You and only you are responsible for any use of the ideas, concepts, and content and I disclaim any responsibility for how you choose to use this material. It’s your responsibility to make sure your actions with women are legal and consensual.

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How To Banish Neediness One of the worst tortures that any man can go through on earth is being obsessed with one woman who doesn't seem to understand him, love him, or want him. A similar torture is being obsessed with the fear of LOSING a woman. This insecurity is fueled by neediness, and the sad part is that the fear can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, as it will trigger unattractive behaviors that will often push even a good woman away. In fact, the whole story of "Darth Vader" is really sparked by his neediness for a woman! His insecurities and fears cause him nightmares that he will lose the woman he loves, and also causes him to see infidelities that never even existed. So the most famous downfall of a filmic character, the greatest filmic tragedy of all, is really about a man who has lost out to his neediness for a woman. I don't say this as a joke, but to underline how powerful and how painful this whole issue is of wanting to feel that level of security that a woman is going to never leave you, or that she loves you, etc. The reality is that the ability to not be OVERWHELMED by these emotions is what truly marks our development as great men. It all boils

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down to getting over the FEAR of this potential loss. Once we can ACCEPT this potential loss, and still realize we can be okay, then we are able to stop obsessing about it. THEN we are ready for handling the dating process, the relationship, and being with the right woman. We have to realize that our fears are not the external world really, our fears are what WE create ourselves in our heads, we THINK we have all these things to fear. Just like that scene in Empire Strikes Back, where Luke enters the cave and Yoda tells him he won't need his lightsaber or any other weapons in there. Luke doesn't believe him, of course, so he takes his lightsaber into the cave, and then sees what he thinks is Darth Vader and then when he strikes at Vader his greatest fear is made apparent- he sees that behind Vader's mask is actually his OWN reflection, and his fear of course is that he will ALSO become like Vader by giving into his own fears as well. It's a very poignant message when it comes to women as well. The fear of not being loved, or of losing love, is HELL. Not only is it torturous, but that very feeling destroys a man of his confidence, and robs him of his charisma and sense of humor, not only

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with her, but with ALL women, which makes his results even worse, which then makes him feel even worse, and so on. So what I'd like to do today is help any man reading this to stop the addiction to being obsessed with a woman who is not loving him back. It's often good guys who are doing this, so it's especially important to me to write this ebook. Meanwhile jerks always think they are great and that they are the prize, and would NEVER pursue a woman who isn't reciprocating, etc. So, anytime you feel yourself obsessing over ONE woman, I want you to take notice of the following things: 1. How much time have you REALLY spent with OTHER women lately? 2. How much time have you been FANTASIZING about how GREAT and PERFECT things would be if you just had HER? 3. How much ACTION have you actually took to meet OTHER women? These three actions form a "perfect storm" of DISASTER to your emotions. See, what happens is that rather than living in the REALITY of having to take ACTION to meet other women, it's much easier (even though

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it's also simultaneously PAINFUL) to fantasize about some dream concept with some woman who you aren't actually WITH. See, the mind is a very interesting thing: Given the choice to think about a perfect fantasy or having to pursue something in reality, it will ALWAYS choose fantasy, because no matter how awesome a REALITY is, it can NEVER match the fantasy that YOU YOURSELF have created in your OWN mind. It's the perfect fantasy because you created it. So let's say you are obsessed with one woman, whether it's a woman who you've had to divorce, a woman who you love who has never loved you back, or any other woman, 99 per cent of the time the PAIN comes from the CONTRAST of FANTASIZING about how AWESOME things "could" be, and then comparing that to your reality. And of course, since you haven't been working on CHANGING that reality, that reality currently feels PARTICULARLY bad. Presto- this creates the emotion known as NEEDINESS. You now don't just LIKE a particular woman, you now NEED HER for dear life. And it really makes me sick how so many of the BEST MEN ON EARTH are the ones who make themselves suffer so much, it's because

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they aren't arrogant and they allow themselves to give a little TOO MUCH credit to a woman who really hasn't earned it. This to me, is not really nice, it's a kind of nice that comes from a good man not KNOWING the reality of his own awesome value, and from simultaneously distorting the value of the wrong woman by inflating her value. So the key is to first become AWARE of what you are doing- you are comparing something that is not even REAL, something that exists only in your mind, i.e. how PERFECT things would be if you just HAD this woman, with what life would be like if you took action in real life with some other women. The REAL LIFE can't match or compare. And the longer you allow yourself to stay obsessed, the MORE you brainwash yourself into thinking and FEELING that the things you've projected onto a woman are indeed TRUE and FACTUAL. See, humans aren't very good at determining REALITY, they think that their EMOTIONS are always good indicators of TRUTH, and though sometimes they are, they also sometimes are TOTALLY WRONG. So if you allow yourself to follow your emotions of pining or obsessing for some woman who hasn't done much to EARN that, you will brainwash yourself into thinking she HAS earned it, as if you are so low on the scale of value that she is so awesome in comparison, or you'll brainwash yourself of her value in some other way, you'll actually convince yourself that she really IS from a logical point of view "worth

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it", when in reality this is known as backwards rationalizing, or "cognitive dissonance". By the way, almost EVERYONE brainwashes themselves, and it's almost never a good thing. For example, some women are emotionally irresponsible and they attribute the cause of their negative emotions to everyone except themselves. If you want a quality woman in your life, you'd be best warned to watch out for a woman who sees herself as a victim of everything. The reality is that while some human beings manage to barely walk away from an oven in a concentration camp as a child and still grow up emotionally stable, other people will cry like the world is ending because ten years ago they didn't get a fancy video game system to play with as a kid. Other people will blame the fact that they weren't allowed to eat junk food as kid for why they need to cheat on their spouse or partner. The bottom line is, it's not really your CIRCUMSTANCES, it's your ATTITUDE that determines the meaning of those circumstances. But if you let your emotions RULE YOU rather than YOU ruling your EMOTIONS,

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your emotions will pretend they are your friends, and they will make you think that indeed everything else in life is what is bringing you down, but that it's not your responsibility at all. If you are looking for a great woman, then be on the lookout for how consistent she is in being in a positive frame of mind, and also be on the lookout to see how consistent she is with maintaining a sense of moral fairness, i.e. does she bump ahead of other people in line? Does she jump to conclusions about things? Is the rational or is she usually basing her decisions on whatever emotion she's feeling in the moment? Does she insist on using condoms? Or does she go base things on a "feeling"??? Does she work hard or does she "feel" no work is inspiring or worth doing? So, don't think that it's just you who must do this battle to conquer emotions when they can cloud your thinking, it's everyone, but if you want to get rid of NEEDINESS, then just start to notice how the needy feeling you have for a woman is always accompanied by a tendency to NOT STAY IN THE REAL WORLD, and to instead fantasize about some made up concept of how awesome life would be if you "just" had this woman.

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This type of thinking will actually prevent you from ever GETTING a great woman, because a great woman has got her emotions under control and would expect that you as a MAN should FOR SURE have his. Mind you, great men and great women are EXTREMELY RARE. But once you develop yourself to get into that category, you then know how to immediately detect one when you've found one. The difference between her and other women and in fact between her and most other PEOPLE, is MASSIVE. Getting control over your neediness is so important, that if you don't, you won't notice the very REAL things that a woman will be doing to you including things that are not cool at all. So for example, a woman who you've allowed yourself to feel too much emotion for and she hasn't earned it, you will become BLIND to the fact she is not truly being faithful, or if she is a hypocrite in other ways. But NEEDINESS in your soul will find A MILLION EXCUSES for it. This is the thing, as a great man, you have to have the POTENTIAL WARMTH to unleash in a woman who DESERVES it, but you also have to have the potential COLDNESS of a "jerk" to shut off your emotions so that you don't become weak and make the wrong decisions

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to pursue the wrong woman or to tolerate LOW STANDARDS OF BEHAVIOR. The moment you find yourself getting EMOTIONALLY WEAK, go jump in a COLD SHOWER for an instant! It will WAKE YOU UP OUT OF THE SPELL! So the lesson for today is to become AWARE of the FALLACY of creating fantasies in your mind based on zero evidence, and becoming AWARE of how this FICTION then robs you of the desire to actually take action in the REAL WORLD, which is less than perfect, but still pretty damn AWESOME, because it's actually REAL. A real woman, beautiful and with a great personality but who is not perfect, is much better than the DISTORTED concept of PERFECTION that you've created in your mind of some particular woman. Take that FIRST STEP today by actually CHALLENGING your emotions for EVIDENCE. So, if you are feeling NEEDY for a woman, demand REAL EVIDENCE for why she is

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so great. And make sure you are calm when you are doing this, because if you do it when needy, you'll CREATE LIES that you will believe to back up your emotions. Also, if you are feeling FEAR of approaching a woman, DEMAND REAL EVIDENCE. You know that FEAR is just F alse E vidence A ppearing R eal Getting your inner game down tight is MASSIVELY IMPORTANT. Don't wake up after ten years to find out you've been allowing your emotions to brainwash you and hold you back with women and with life. If you want to SKYROCKET your inner game and confidence, as well as get the crucial insights on how to approach women, get dates, get physical, and have a fantastic relationship, then you need to download my book, "The Lyceum II" NOW. This book is packed with fantastic advice that you can use IMMEDIATELY to meet, attract, and KEEP a quality woman. It's at:

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