new york family, august 2013

Magical Picnic SPotS Finding a great nanny

leanTHISWayArianna Huffington Mika BrzezinskiOn Their NewWellness Revolution

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Mayoral forumtop candidates Share Their Big Ideas For NYC Families

The School AdmiSSionS STory every Parent

MuSt read

Bucket liStFor FaMilieS

end-oF-SuMMer

Show DeSign Committee ChairS: Ellie Cullman and Mario Buatta

Exhibitor images: The Silver Fund, Gary Rubinstein Antiques, waterhouse & Dodd, holden Luntz Gallery, Pat Saling, J. Lohmann Gallery, Calderwood Gallery

C O L L E C T • D E C O R A T E • A D O R N

Par k ave n u e a r m o r y643 PAR k AvE N u E , AT 67 Th S TR E E T N Ew YOR k C i T Y

Fo r c o m p l e t e s h o w i n fo r m a t i o n , e v e n t s a n d s c h e d u l e s , c a l l 64 6 . 4 4 2 . 1 62 7 o r v i s i t w w w. a v e n u e s h o w s . c o m

T h u r s d a y , OCTOb E R 10 - s u n d a y , OCTOb E R 13 , 2013

4 New York Family | August 2013 www.newyorkfamily.com

AUGUSTnewyorkfamily.com

contents

pg.10

pg.22

pg.12

pg.64

Features

37 | Lean This WayArianna Huffington and Mika Brzezinski envision a world where personal fulfillment is valued as much as money and power

45 | If I Were Mayor…Top mayoral candidates discuss plans for improving family life in the city

52 | Nursery & Private School AdmissionsWhat a group of prominent school directors really wants parents to know

Family Fun Guide

12 | Ten Great Events For AugustBroadway in Bryant Park, Arthur Ashe Kids’ Day, Summer Streets, the Hong Kong Dragon Boat Festival, and more

16 | Local Fun11 hot picnic spots in NYC

Home & away

62 | Quality TimeThe family bucket list for end-of-summer NYC fun 64 | Travel Our great lakes: 8 driving-distance oases for a last-minute plunge

Columns 8 | Editor’s NoteSummer forever

10 | Events & OffersA Gymtime Tiny Tots Fitness full-semester giveaway (worth $750), where to find New York Family, plus the scoop on our new baby magazine

20 | It’s My PartyBirthday celebrations at My Gym UES, Temple Israel, and Glasshouses

22 | ScoopThe new sweet spot on the Upper West Side, inspired sonogram art, a summer beach read with local flavor, and more

24 | A Good IdeaFind a great nanny with our indispensible tips on the most important hire you’ll ever make

30 | Starting OutAt Yummy Mummy, new moms can find breastfeeding bliss with quality products, support classes, and advice

34 | A Special PlaceBy undertaking a massive expansion, Gymtime gets to revive the most glorious piece of its past—a competitive gymnastics program

66 | The Last Word A city mom decides to take on the dreaded nursery school admissions process without driving herself crazy

Cover Photo By Miller Mobley/Redux

pg.37

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Editor and co-publishEr Eric Messinger

[email protected]

dEputY Editor Whitney C. Harris

[email protected]

associatE Editor Christine Wei

[email protected]

art dirEctor George W. Widmer

[email protected]

contributing photographErs

Daniel S. Burnstein, Heidi Green,

Thaddeus Harden, Michael Jurick

contributing WritErs

Leah Black, Natalie Diaz, Alissa Katz,

Gavriella Mahpour, Chrissy Makris,

Nadia Ramlakhan, Amy Renolds,

Tali Rosenblatt-Cohen, Pearl Shin, Sothea Shreck,

Samantha Simon, Anna Sims, Mia Weber

publishEr John Hurley

For inFormation on thE babY shoW

212.268.3086, [email protected]

associatE publishEr Mary Ann Oklesson

[email protected]

spEcial projEcts dirEctor Alex Schweitzer

[email protected]

salEs assistant Erik Bliss

[email protected]

circulation Aaron Pollard

[email protected]

businEss managEr Shawn Scott

[email protected]

accounts managEr Kathy Pollyea

[email protected]

manhattan media

chairman oF thE board Richard Burns

chiEF ExEcutivE oFFicEr Joanne Harras

dirEcEtor oF digital Dennis Rodriguez

New York Family is a division of Manhattan Media, publishers of AVENUE magazine, Mitzvah magazine,and The Blackboard Awards.

© 2013 manhattan media, llc | 72 madison avenue, 11th Floornew York, nY 10016 | t: 212.268.8600 | f: 212.268.0577www.manhattanmedia.com

AUGUST 2013

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www.trumprink.com


editor’s note

This summer will present me and my wife with our first taste of empty nesting. From the end of July to the middle of August, my 9-year-old son will go to sleepaway camp for the first time—the same Berkshires oasis that his camp-crazy 13-year-old sister attends. My wife and I joke that we’ll be very tempted to use the time to do more work. But I suspect we’ll also use it to sleep later, exercise more, worry less, and put the finishing touches on our plans for a family trip to Montreal and Quebec City.

I’m going to want August to linger forever, though I know that September, with its call to routine and responsibility, will be here before we know it. Meanwhile, I have a great end-of-summer issue to share.

On the fun front, we have an adventurous bucket list of local must-dos for families (page 62), a well-researched list of favorite picnic spots around the city (page 16), and a guide to great lakes within a day’s drive (page 64). And then there are the issue’s showstoppers:

When I originally read about how Arianna Huffing-ton and Mika Brzezinski are trying to galvanize a “third women’s revolution” to redefine success and put a higher premium on personal wellness, my first thought was: “I need this.” And my second was: “Pitch them a cover interview.” Thankfully, they agreed (page 37).

You’ve probably heard that New York City will be electing a new mayor come November. We asked the leading candidates to discuss their key plans for improving family life in the city—and to our surprise we received some really good answers (page 45).

Originally, I had assembled a roundtable of admissions experts to discuss the nuts and bolts of applying to nursery and private school. But what they really wanted to talk about was the value of education, because they know that tuition costs are propelling many parents to question whether it’s all worth it. Is it? Find out on page 52.

Have A Happy August, Eric Messinger, [email protected]

Summer forever

Hanging at The Huffington Post.

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events & offers

Where To Find UsIf you’re looking to find issues of New York

Family, our free monthly magazine, look

no further. The publication is conveniently

located on street corners, in kids’ enrichment

centers, and in retail shops all across the city.

We’ve just uploaded a comprehensive list of

locations where you can grab the latest issue.

Visit newyorkfamily.com/where-to-find-us to

find the nearest copy!

New York FamilY BaBYTo PUblish This FallThe next edition of New York Family

Baby will publish this fall. The first edition

of the bi-annual magazine was released

this spring at the New York Baby Show

(newyorkbabyshow.com). If you’re an

expectant or new parent, be sure to

sign up for the New York Family Baby

newsletter for updates and information

on the magazine’s next issue. Meanwhile,

for a sneak peek of what to expect in

New York Family Baby, visit our baby

blog at newyorkfamilybaby.com.

Win a GymTime classFor yoUr childWe’re giving away a semester of the Tiny

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picnic or check out some urban art.

Free; 7am-1pm. Park Avenuebetween Central Park and theBrooklyn Bridge,nyc.gov/summerstreets

A MusiCAl lunChAugust 8 & 15[All Ages]

On Thursdays through the middle of

August, head over to Bryant Park to

see stars of popular Broadway and

Off-Broadway musicals perform their

biggest hits. Kick back on the lawn for

a lunchtime picnic with the kids as you

sing along to tunes from “Spider-Man:

Turn off the Dark,” “Annie The Musical,”

and the always-classic “Mamma Mia!”

Free; 12:30-1:30pm. sixthAvenue and West 42nd st.,212-768-4242, bryantpark.org

MArinA MAdnessOngOing[All Ages]

The historic Pier 57 is set to be trans-

formed into a mall in 2015, but for now

it serves as an artistic and cultural hub.

Fun art installations and yummy food

vendors—think Van Leeuwen ice cream,

Takumi Tacos, and Fletcher’s Brooklyn

Barbecue—are just a few of the storage

container pop-ups families can enjoy

alongside fantastic marina views.

Free; 11am-8pm Tues throughThurs (9pm Fri), 9am-9pm sat& sun. West 15th street and

eleventh Avenue, 212-477-8008,marinap57.com

VisiT Penguin CiTythrOugh JAnuAry 2014[Ages 2 And Up]

If you’re looking to cool down and take

a break from the summer heat, stop by

“Penguins,” the new IMAX film at the

American Museum of Natural History.

Filmmaker Sir David Attenborough will

take you along as he tracks the journey

of a King Penguin striving to protect

his offspring from cold weather and

lurking predators.

Children $8, adults $12.50;start times between 10:30am and 4:30pm. Central Park West

at 79th street, 212-769-5100,amnh.org

CeleBrATe The sTreeTsAugust 3, 10, & 17[All Ages]

For three consecutive Saturdays, take

full advantage of a car-free Park Av-

enue. Roughly seven miles of Summer

Streets will be packed with families

ready to run, walk, bike, or play at their

leisure. Past activities have included a

climbing wall and zip lining for those

who dare to be brave. If that’s not your

thing, relax and enjoy a street-wide

San

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MUSEUMS

ATTRACTIONS

MUSIC

THEATER

family fun

FOOD

continued on page 14

10 By Samantha Simon

great events for August

Clockwise from left: American Museum of natural history (“Penguins” iMAX), Bryant Park (Broadway in Bryant Park), Fringe Jr. (“young Olympians”)

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Fringe BeneFits For FamsAugust 9-25[Ages 5 And Up]

Enjoy FringeNYC—the family way!

North America’s largest multi-arts festi-

val will feature kid-friendly program-

ming at Fringe JR. Take in a magi-

cal performance of “Peter Pan” and

“Stardust Dances,” get your fright-filled

thrill on with “Sarazad and the Mon-

ster-King,” or sing along with heroes at

“The Young Olympians” and “The Most

Amazingly Awesome Adventure Ever.”

From $10; venues and showtimes vary. 212-279-4488,fringenyc.org

return oF the Civil WarAugust 10 & 11[Ages 6 And Up]

Travel back in time to celebrate the

150th anniversary of the Battle of

Gettysburg during Civil War Heritage

Weekend on Governors Island. Kids—or,

rather, little soldiers—will enjoy learning

about the past while watching camp,

cannon, and musket firing demonstra-

tions. Catch a glimpse of what life was

like on the island as reenactors portray

Confederate prisoners, music boys, and

officers’ wives throughout this two-day

event.

Free; 10am-5pm. governorsisland, 646-241-2670,nps.gov/gois

Winning on the Water[All Ages]

It’s time to celebrate the fifth month of

the lunar calendar at the annual Hong

Kong Dragon Boat Festival in Queens!

Enjoy Chinese food, crafts, and exciting

performances while cheering on more

than 120 dragon boat teams as they

furiously row down Meadow Lake in

Flushing Meadows Corona Park. Check

out the NY Championship Race on Sat-

urday and the US Dragon Boat Open

Championship Race on Sunday.

Free; 9am-5pm. meadowslake, Flushing meadowsCorona Park, Queens,718-767-1776, hkdbf-ny.org

haPPy in harlem August 17 & 18[Ages 5 And Up]

Be sure to stop by the NYC Children’s

Festival during Harlem Week’s Sum-

mer in the City event along West 135th

Street. Celebrate the past, present,

and future of Harlem with theatrical

performances, arts and crafts, and face

painting. You may even find yourself

inspired to join in on a double dutch

competition—the fun and cultural fam-

ily activities are virtually endless.

Free; 12pm-5pm on saturdayand 12pm-6pm on sunday.West 135th street between

malcolm X and a.C. Powell, Jr. Boulevards, 877-427-5364, harlemweek.com

game, set, matCh August 24[All Ages]

Head out to Arthur Ashe Kids’ Day in

Queens for tennis time with the fam-

ily. Kids will learn all about the sport

through fun, interactive games and ac-

tivities, including lessons for the young-

est players. Take a break to watch some

pros hit the courts before catching the

Stadium Show. Considering that past

performers have included Demi Lovato,

Rihanna, and Justin Bieber, it’s a must-

see for all music lovers.

From $13.50; 9:30am.usta Billie Jean King nationaltennis Center in Flushing

meadows Corona Park, Queens,914-696-7000, arthurashekidsday.com

a shaKesPeare aFFairOpens August 24[All Ages]

“O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou

Romeo?” We finally have the answer to

Juliet’s age-old question on Broadway.

For the first time in 36 years, the star-

crossed lovers will take the stage at the

Richard Rodgers Theatre. Kids will love

watching this timeless classic come to

life. Psst—it stars Orlando Bloom and

Tony Award Nominee Condola Rashad!

Note: The theater welcomes all ages,

but the show does include some (non-

graphic) mature scenes.

From $87; various starttimes between 2pm and 8pm.226 West 46th street,

212-221-1211,richardrodgerstheatre.com

10 Great eventsfamily fun

ev

ents

continued from page 12

For more event picks for families, check out our Family Calendar at newyorkfamily.com/events

Flushing meadows Corona Park (hK Dragon Boat Festival)

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local fun

Picnics make for a simple yet fun family

outing, with the potential to create

lasting memories. And with so many

beautiful, culturally enriched parks in

each of the five boroughs, there are

plenty of options when it comes to

planning an al fresco family meal in

NYC. Some of these spots are hidden

gems while others are more well-

known, yet all of them provide a taste of

nature, lots of space to run around and

have fun, and the opportunity to enjoy a

meal together in a peaceful setting.

MANHATTANCentral Park – Arthur Ross PinetumPicnic tables, swing sets, and plenty

of space to run around and play ball

are just some of the reasons my family

chose to celebrate my daughter’s

3rd birthday together at the Pinetum

this summer. The way the tables are

spread out also makes this Upper

By Elisabeth Frankel Reed

Hot SummerPicnic Spots in NYC11

West Side spot ideal, since each group

of picnickers has plenty of their own

space. There’s also a nearby circular

path where the birthday girl spent a

lot of time happily testing out her new

scooter alongside other kids on their

own sets of wheels.

Carl Schurz Park – The Lawn between Gracie Mansion and the East RiverSome of the best moments of my

childhood were spent picnicking at

Carl Schurz. The park has changed

somewhat over the years, but the lawn

between Gracie Mansion and the East

River still remains a great spot for a

picnic because it’s not only peaceful,

but you’re also surrounded by both

beauty and city history. When you’re

done eating, there’s plenty to do—the

kids can run around a bit, watch boats

along the East River, bike ride on the

boardwalk right next to it, visit one of

the dog runs, or enjoy the park’s large

playground.

Fort Tryon Park – Cafe Lawn or Billings LawnIt’s a long way to the top, but once

you’ve made it, reward yourself with a

picnic at Fort Tryon—situated at one

of the highest points in Manhattan. Set

up a blanket just inside the park on the

Cafe Lawn for a view of the city, or go a

bit west to the Billings Lawn and Billings

Terrace, where you can look across the

Hudson River to the Palisades. At the

northern end of the park, you’ll find The

Cloisters, the Metropolitan Museum of

Art’s collection of medieval art, including

the Unicorn Tapestries. Even the

buildings, some of which were shipped

over from Europe and re-assembled

brick-by-brick, are worth checking out.


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BROOKLYNOwl’s Head Park – The Southern SlopeIf you’re looking for a quiet place to

set out a blanket on the grass, the

slope directly southwest of the newly

renovated terrace gives you that as

well as a clear view of Staten Island

and New Jersey. Plus, the terrace itself

is perfect for a peaceful stroll—just

be sure to check if there’s a cultural

event scheduled that day. For a more

lively, communal atmosphere, try the

field in the middle of the park near the

playground, surrounded by other large

playing fields and a skate park.

Sunset Park – Grassy Slope just West of the PlaygroundSunset Park is best known for its

public pool, but as one of the highest

points in Brooklyn, it also boasts

spectacular views of Manhattan, the

Statue of Liberty, Staten Island, and

even New Jersey. With large open

fields, a playground, and an ice cream

truck often parked at the entrance, it’s

certainly a great place for kids. As you

may have guessed from its name, the

park is also a wonderful spot to watch

the sun set. But before the day is

over, take some time to visit the living

memorial to September 11th, which

contains a garden surrounded by a

grove of 70 trees planted in 2002.

BRONXNew York Botanical Garden – Picnic area adjacent to the Everett Children’s GardenConveniently located right next to the

Everett Children’s Adventure Garden,

the picnic area is complete with

tables and a roofed section in case of

rain. Before you choose a date, you

may want to check the calendar for

special exhibits, though the interactive

children’s garden always provides

young visitors the opportunity to run

through mazes and learn about plants

from age-appropriate displays. If you’re

looking to spend more time in a natural

setting, take a stroll through the 50

acres of original old-growth forest that

forms the core of the Botanical Garden

to see what the first European settlers

would have found when they arrived in

New York.

Orchard Beach at Pelham Bay Park – Section 12 Though the park has grill-equipped

picnic sites on the north and south

lawns, there is still something special

about spreading out a blanket and

picnicking right on the sand, where

kids can dig and build sandcastles

while you set up. Children will

love Section 12 in particular, as the

Orchard Beach Playground offers play

equipment right on the beach. But

you may also want to take them to the

larger Pelican Bay Playground on the

other side of the boardwalk in Section

6-7, which has cool sprinklers for hot

summer days. One note of caution:

As the only public beach in the Bronx,

Orchard Beach tends to get crowded

on summer weekends, so aim for an

early start.

QUEENSAlley Pond Park – Picnic Area off 76th AvenueRight next to the parking lot on

76th Avenue is a popular picnic area

where you’ll need to bring your own

blanket or table. On the plus side,

you’re allowed to fire up the grill. The

playground right across the field even

has a fun yet challenging ropes course.

Cunningham Park – Picnic Area off Union TurnpikeStarting from Union Turnpike, you’ll

find a picnic area just on the other side

of the tennis courts from the parking

lot. Enjoy a leisurely meal, then once

you’re done, start exploring with

the kids! From red oaks to flowering

dogwoods to sweet gums, there are

plenty of different trees to learn about,

not to mention the smaller plants that

grow underneath, including various

kinds of seasonal flowers. If you’re

looking for other recreational activities,

try the Vanderbilt Motor Parkway,

which, despite its name, has been a

bike trail since 1938.

STATEN ISLANDWest end of Clove Lakes Park - Near Dog RunClove Lakes offers a picnic area at

the west end of the park as well as a

barbeque area near Clove Road and

Victory Boulevard. If your little ones

love animals, be prepared to make a

stop at the dog run right next to the

picnic area first. After everyone is

finished eating, consider heading to the

Lake Club, where you can rent paddle

boats for a trip around the picturesque

lake. While you’re at the park, be sure

to check out the largest living thing on

the island: a tulip tree that is more than

350 years old.

Greenbelt – Moses MountainAt 200 feet, Moses Mountain provides

a unique place to picnic while enjoying

a breathtaking 260-degree view of the

series of connected parks that make up

the Greenbelt of Staten Island. Moses

Mountain isn’t even a natural peak;

it’s a pile of boulders and other rock

from the unfinished construction of a

highway that eventually was named

after the legendary city planner. Now,

many New Yorkers regularly enjoy

the extensive network of hiking trails

throughout the preserve.

FOR MORE FAMILY FUN IDEAS, CHECK OUT NEWYORKFAMILY.COM

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benny coleman celebrates his 3rd birthday at My gym ueS.1. Mom, Dad, and brother Zac gather around their fave birthday boy—Benny, of course—for his all-important moment. 2. Taking a dive into the ever-popular ball pit. 3. The coziest family portrait you’ll ever see—we think it’s a keeper! Photos by Heidi Green Photography (heidigreen.com)

ellie Paradis celebrates her 1st birthday at glasshouses.1. Nothing says first-birthday joy like a round of parachute games with family and friends. Lucky Ellie. 2. At this celebration, the magic show is just as mesmerizing as the Hudson River views. 3. Dora and Diego visit—oh, happy day! Photos by Heidi Green Photography (heidigreen.com)

walker Lipton celebrates his 4th birthday at Temple Israel.1. The boy of the hour opts for an adrenaline-pumping party arranged by Kids in Sports. 2. Walker takes the lead—look at him go! 3. After all that exercise, blowing out the candles is a team effort among the Lipton siblings. Photos by Heidi Green Photography (heidigreen.com)

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part was meeting people I would never leave my child with,” she says. “One woman told me she had a cold, but would I mind if she held the baby? Another walked straight into my apartment toward the couch and didn’t take off her shoes or wash her hands. Experienced nannies know that is Caretaker 101 when it comes to infants.”

Finding the right person is rarely easy, but with preparation, you’re more likely to find someone who is right for your family. So we’ve outlined a four-step plan to get you on the path to meeting the best nanny for your needs.

1. Assess Your Family’s Needs

Before starting your search, you need to know exactly what your family requires in terms of logistics and arrangements. What’s your schedule like? Maybe you need a nanny to arrive bright and early every morning or someone who’s available on Saturdays only. Do your kids have special needs? If your child has allergies, for example, you’ll need a nanny who’s experienced with using an EpiPen; if your child has Asperger’s syndrome, you’ll want a nanny who’s patient and encourages social interaction.

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When Jess Bernstein, a public relations professional and mother of 10-month-old Ella, began her search for a nanny, she thought the process would be relatively simple and straightforward. But, as is often the case when making such a personal decision, the search ended up being far more complicated.

“I interviewed ten [nannies] and the most stressful

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“[Alternatively], using an agency relieves some of the pressure off of the family.”

Bell of Lucky Lil’ Darlings believes that placement services can be especially reassuring if you’re a first-time mom. “Childcare services have done this thousands of times and will help guide you along the way,” she says. “Having a guide throughout the process alleviates stress, too, as you’ll always have someone to turn to with questions.” 3. Screen Potential Candidates

Whether you get a nanny reference from a service or find one through your own research, it’s a good idea to do some screening yourself. The first step in this pro-cess is to check the potential employee’s work history. You’ll want specific start and end dates, family names, addresses, and duties—the equivalent of a resume. Kozinn from Absolute Best Care Nanny Agency says to be cautious of “mysterious gaps” in work history, as they may be an indication that the candidate isn’t very reliable or isn’t telling you something important.

Most parents won’t have the energy or resources to check education records, driving records, criminal history, citizenship, and health. If those details are important to you, it’ll probably be more realistic to use a search agency or ask the candidate for the information.


“The first step a parent should take is understanding their overall needs,” says Douglas Kozinn, president of Absolute Best Care Nanny Agency. “This clarity will greatly enhance your interviewing process.”

Beyond your familial and logistical needs, you should start honing in on the personal qualities in a nanny that are important to you. Do you want a younger person with a lot of energy—or an older person with a lot of experience? Do you want someone who is a parent themselves? And, if so, does it matter whether the nanny is still raising her own children and may have days where she has childcare issues herself? Some parents like nannies who are proactive and independently minded; others prefer someone who they can comfortably micromanage and who follows strict orders.

Another question to ask yourself is whether you want a nanny or an au pair. For space and privacy reasons, in the city, it’s more common for parents who can afford it to hire full-time nannies than live-in au pairs, though some parents have such demanding work schedules that a live-in is pretty much essential. There’s also the issue of citizenship. The nanny market is full of workers who are U.S. citizens or have green cards, and also many who are here illegally, so you’ll want to make sure you check a person’s status.

Lindsay Bell, president of Lucky Lil’ Darlings, recommends using a nanny with citizenship, because they are easier to background check and tend to be more flexible with hours than an au pair or a nanny with a green card. “In my experience, I have found that nannies are generally more experienced,” she adds. “However, au pairs are generally more cost-effective and [often] bring a multicultural education for your children to the table.”

While you should consider all of these factors at the start of the process, your opinions may evolve depending upon whom you meet. But the bottom line is that you shouldn’t settle for anyone who doesn’t seem like a loving and responsible person.

2. Start The Search For Your Nanny

There are numerous private placement agencies that specialize in matching you with a nanny based on your specific needs. (See sidebar on page TK for agency listings.) The other option is to do the search yourself, which typically involves a mix of checking listings on various websites and asking friends and their nannies for recommendations. Most agencies promise the benefit of serious background checks. A trusted friend’s recommendation is also worth a lot, although you might find that your friend’s needs are different from your own, so a nanny who is so well-suited to another family might not be the right fit for yours. And, of course, you should still do your own interviewing and reference checks.

Greg Solometo of Nannies of New York makes the case for both search methods. “If a family finds a nanny through word of mouth, just make sure you get a good understanding of their background,” he says.


The 20 Questions You Should Ask A Potential Nanny In An Interview1. Can you tell me about your prior nanny experience?2. What do you like about being a nanny?3. What do you think your former employer(s) would say about you?4. Tell me about a good experience and a bad experience you’ve had as a nanny.5. What kind of work environment do you thrive in?6. Who are your references?7. Where are you from? Tell me a little bit about your hometown and upbringing.8. Tell me about your family.9. How old were the children you previously babysat? What exactly was your role?10. What was a typical day like at your previous nanny job?11. How do you handle emergency situations?12. Why do you want to be a nanny?13. How do you react when you are upset with a child?14. What are your hobbies and interests?15. What do you look for in an employer or family?16. What activities do you engage in with children?17. What is your proudest moment in childcare and why?18. All children have different needs and interests. How do you plan to adapt to those of my child?19. What is your schedule like?20. What age do you prefer to work with and why?

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Our Mission

Admissions office: (212) 873-5708, ext. 303

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• Promote, nurture and engage relationships, because they are central to our well-being.

• Ensure that families feel valued, supported and understood.


You’ll need to decide whether you’re going to meet all potential candidates in person or first screen them over the phone. A phone conversation can save you a lot of time and stress, helping you to eliminate candidates who you wouldn’t seriously consider. And while the most important references you ultimately can get are from other families who have worked with the candidate previously, Bell suggests making those calls after the interview, so you won’t be influenced by someone else’s opinion before having the chance to form your own first.

4. Interview Your Top Choices

Once you have your search narrowed down to ten or fewer candidates, you’ll want to conduct in-person interviews. It’s a good idea to have your children in the room with you to see how the potential nanny interacts with them. Sometimes you’ll know within two minutes that someone isn’t the right fit for your family, but be courteous and proceed with the interview for at least ten minutes.

Throughout the interview, paying attention to small details, like body language, is key. But you also need to listen attentively to the answers. And remember, the more specific your questions, the more revealing her answers will be, so be prepared—see our 20 suggested questions in the sidebar on page TK. You’ll also want to add questions that are specific to each candidate. For example, if a nanny has experience working with twins, ask her about it!

You’ll probably know when a nanny is the right fit. “She was warm, smiled a lot, and was just a lovely person,” says Bernstein of the nanny she eventually hired. “And it didn’t take long for my daughter to warm up to her.”

If you’re a parent who’s returning to work, it’s a good idea to have the nanny start a couple of weeks before you go back to the office, to make a slow and steady transition. This way, your nanny will be able to ask questions, you’ll become more comfortable with her watching your child, and, most importantly, your child will become increasingly comfortable with her.

In order to make sure that the person you’ve hired is working out as intended, some people like to use nanny cams. Another reliable way of checking up on her is to ask a friend to keep an eye out for your child and nanny at the park to observe how they’re doing.

As with any big decision, it’s important to start the search early. This way, you won’t feel stressed or like you’re running out of time. Trust your instincts and don’t settle for a not-right nanny just because you’re feeling frustrated or rushed.

“We live in New York City. There are many, many nannies,” says Bernstein. “Even though it’s a long process and it might take a little while and it can be frustrating, finding that right person is worth it.”

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starting outWhen Yummy Mummy founder Amanda Cole first started breastfeeding her now 5-year-old daughter, she ran into a few roadblocks. The products and supplies that she needed were scattered from store to store and across various websites, and she felt she didn’t have the support she needed. Getting acclimated with the complex choreography of baby feeding was a stressful experience for the first-time mom; so stressful, in fact, that she broke down in tears one day after realizing she purchased the wrong type of breast pump.

“My whole experience with getting breastfeeding products was so difficult. I thought, ‘Breastfeeding is hard enough. There has to be an easier way,’” remembers Cole, who also nursed her second child.

Cole made it her mission to help other breastfeeding mothers like herself and opened Yummy Mummy on the Upper East Side in May of 2009. With clear, user-friendly displays, knowledgeable staff members, and a welcoming environment, the boutique is dedicated to making breastfeeding a positive experience for women.

“There are oftentimes unexpected hurdles along the way,” Cole says. “And we’re just there to help and not judge—and to be support for you.”

Cole likes to refer to the store as a “one-stop shop” that has everything new or expectant moms need for breastfeeding, all conveniently located in one place. While about 80% of the products are geared toward breastfeeding moms—including breast pumps, nursing pillows, and nursing bras—Yummy Mummy offers items to suit just about any new mom’s needs, such as bottles, postpartum care products, and maternity clothing.

But you won’t find rattles or playmats on the shelves.“A lot of the time I’ll get manufacturers who come

and pitch different baby products,” Cole says. “[But] we try to stay true to it being all about mom.”

A great breastfeeding experience is about more than just the right supplies, of course. Having support and encouragement is just as important. In addition to providing all of the gear and equipment that moms need for breastfeeding, Yummy Mummy also offers various types of classes. Some of the more popular ones are Childbirth Preparation, Baby Safety & CPR, and Doula Speed Dating, in which expectant women meet five to ten doulas in one session, making the search for a labor coach relatively quick and easy.

The store’s most well-attended class, however, is the obvious choice: “A lot of moms have met their closest friends at our Breastfeeding Support Group,” Cole says. “They come here; their babies are the exact [same] age. They bond, they see each other weekly, and then they leave and go for lunch. I think some really nice friendships have formed.”

Although the store opened during the recession, the business has been steadily growing over the past four years. One recent boon for business has been the Af-By Amy Reynolds

NursiNg ON ClOud NiNeAt Yummy Mummy, New Moms Can Find Breastfeeding Bliss With Products, Educational Programs, And Welcome Advice

Yummy Mummy Owner Amanda Cole


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fordable Care Act, which was signed into law last sum-mer. The ACA requires that health insurance plans cover women’s preventative services, which includes breast pumps, breast pump supplies, counseling, and support. In fact, Yummy Mummy recently opened a call center—also on the Upper East Side—where they receive orders and ship breast pumps across the country every day.

“We’ve been working closely with different insurance plans to provide breast pumps to moms all over the country,” Cole says. By partnering with various companies, Yummy Mummy has made pumps more easily accessible through Aetna Health Insurance, Blue Shield - CA, Cigna, EmblemHealth (GHI and HIP), Empire Blue Cross Blue Shield, Humana, Lifewise, POMCO Group, and Premera Blue Cross—with plans to further expand in the near future.

While she spends a lot of time finding new and helpful products for moms, Cole says her favorite part of her job is still working with her clientele. “We have the best customers,” she says. “They’re so appreciative of all the services and products that we offer, and that makes us feel really good.”

Having eventually achieved breastfeeding bliss with both of her own children, Cole knows how important it is for a new mother to be supported through such a delicate choice. To that end, Cole says that Yummy Mummy’s focus always remains on the individual: the mom who needs some advice on what kind of breast pump to buy or how she can get her newborn to feed more efficiently.

“My biggest priority is just maintaining the same level of customer service that we’ve always had,” she adds. “I think that’s really what defines us.”

For more inFormation on products and services For new moms, visit newyorkFamilybaby.com


what to look Forin a breast pump1. comfort. “How it looks, how it feels, how it sounds—they do make a difference with a mom. She really needs to and wants to be relaxed when she’s pumping,” Cole says.

2. weight. It’s important that a pump be lightweight. Cole says, “You won’t want to pump very often if you’re lugging something that’s three or four pounds.”

3. brand. “Moms like having a name brand, something they’ve heard of,” Cole says. “It’s an expensive item, just like a car… And it’s a health product you’re using on your body and with your child, so you want to make sure it’s safe and reliable.”

4. type. It’s also important to know exactly what type of pump is best for you, whether it be manual, electric, or hospital-grade. Most insurance companies cover a standard double electric pump. And while most women prefer an electric pump to a manual one, a manual pump does have its benefits, and many women choose to pur-chase both. Although manual pumps take about twice as long to use as electric pumps, they are lighter, smaller, and easier to carry around.


a special place

A well-established center for gymnastics, music, art, and just about anything else that children love, Gymtime placed a very big bet on itself a few years ago, jumping on an opportunity to expand and remodel its Upper East Side home to feature a whole floor devoted to gymnastics. The results are something to behold: a gorgeous, spacious, contemporary activity-and-enrichment center that, most importantly, seems as welcoming and family-friendly as ever. If education is the heart of York Avenue Preschool, which is the other key part of the overall facility, then Gymtime’s heart and soul is gymnastics, which it offers through recreational classes for kids of all ages and, since the remodeling, through a competitive team program as well. We recently caught up with owners Michael and Bonni Branciforte to chat about the expansion and everything it has meant for Gymtime and its families.

You’ve always been a popular neighborhood place. What was the motivation for undertaking such a massive redesign?

Michael: The key motivation behind the expansion was not to reinvent who we are, but to go back to our roots as a gymnastics center. A lot of readers may not know this, but Bonni and I started Brooklyn Gymnastics Center in 1978. It was one of the first gymnastic centers in the five boroughs, and by the time the ‘84 Olympics came around, we were competing on the state and national levels. But when we moved to Manhattan 24 years ago, we had to leave that behind because it was hard to find an adequate space to develop a competitive team. But I’m happy to say that once we completed our expansion, we were able to introduce team programs again.

This feels like a very personal move, not just a business opportunity.

Michael: It definitely wasn’t money-motivated. The chance to expand is nice, but there’s also a lot of risk involved. Bonni: Being able to do it again, to be able to go back to 1984 and bring it into 2013, is just very exciting for us.

Michael: Of course, we hoped we could make at least enough money to pay for and to sustain the expan-sion. But did we think it was going to be such a wind-fall? No, it just happened to be. Now, what it really did help with was that it afforded us not only to expand our gymnastics program but also to help the facility as a whole, enhancing the preschool environment as well.

So what does it take to build an all-star gymnastics program from scratch again?

Michael: Most important, you have to invest in the right personnel. There is definitely a difference between people who teach age-appropriate gymnastics for beginners and the kind of coaches and teachers needed to develop a team program. In fact, Chris Vollaro, who oversees all Gymtime sports, including gymnastics, has been with us for more than 20 years and is a former gymnast of mine in Brooklyn.

Bonni: It’s a big part of the story. Chris was Michael’s student at three and a half years old. He continued in gymnastics, competed on a national level, trained at Colorado Springs [the Olympic Training Center], and stayed with Michael through all of that growth. So, really, we’ve come full-circle with the teams [and] also with the coaching.

Do many of the team kids start off in recreation programs at Gymtime and then request something more serious?

By Eric Messinger

Gymtime Goes BiG TiMeBy Undertaking A Massive Expansion, Gymtime Gets To Revive The Most Glorious Piece Of Its Past—A Competitive Gymnastics Program

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www.newyorkfamily.com� � August 2013 | New York Family��35

Michael: Let me put it this way: Gymnastic centers are like farm systems with Major League Baseball. So chances are, if you’re interested in gymnastics and have a knack for it, we’ll probably be speaking to the parents even before they come to speak to us.

At what age range can the more serious track start?

Michael: We will give parents an opportunity to put their children in a program of threes and fours that appropriately teaches developmental gymnastics in a way that the child is still having a lot of fun but also doesn’t skip any developmental skills, to carefully cultivate that child’s ability… The fun factor and the development factor have to be done proportionately, so that you don’t lose a young child out of frustration.

How’s the team program doing? Is it catching on?

Michael: Really well, I think. We’re coming into our third competitive season in the fall with 48 kids on our teams.

Since the last few years of Gymtime is, as Michael said, a return to your roots, we’d like to fill in a few more historical details. When did you two meet?

Bonni: Michael and I met in 1978. He was under construction for his first school in Bay Ridge.

Michael, back in the day, were you a gymnast?

Michael: I was a phys. ed. teacher who did gymnastics at a club, but I wouldn’t say I was a gymnast.

Bonni, were you involved from the beginning?

Bonni: I helped him get registration forms together, contact families, and all that, but I had a full-time job. In 1981, Michael and I got in a really bad accident, and I lost my job in the Garment Center because I lost the use of my arm for a year and a half. [So] I started working more with him. I learned how to write with my left hand. By 1984, we were a machine. It was so unbelievable; we were so ready for those Olympics.

How does the machine work now?

Bonni: To be together 24/7, you can’t. It’s hard. So I take care of the finances, overlook the front desk, make sure customer service is up to par. And Michael oversees the whole program.

Beyond gymnastics, please give us a peek of another program you’re particularly proud of lately.

Michael & Bonni (in unison): Kitchen Little.

Bonni: It’s wonderful. The focus is on natural ingredients, as little processed as possible, no sugar unless it’s natural agave. But to perfect recipes that kids like to eat took a long time. The age range is 2-6, there’s a recipe book, and they do two items a class.

Michael: To take those recipes and turn them into a curriculum and then a class, based on a whole development process of what a child needs—honestly, it took us about a year to get it right, but it’s really special.

Sounds like you have a good enough kitchen to feed the entire gymnastics teams.

Michael: Some of my friends say, ‘Why are you putting so much money into these facilities when you’re ready to retire?’ And I say, ‘A: I’m not ready to retire; and B: This is a passion for us, we’re going all out.’

ERIC MESSINGER is editor of New York Family.

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT GYMTIME’S GREAT PROGRAMS FOR KIDS, VISIT NEWYORKFAMILY.COM

Michael and Bonni in their gymnastics hub.

Kids enjoy the Kitchen Little Cooking School

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By Eric Messinger & Whitney C. Harris

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Arianna Huffington And Mika Brzezinski Envision A World Where Personal Fulfillment Is Valued As Much As Money And Power. Are You Ready For The Wellness Revolution?

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For two of the most visible and influential women in media today, The Huffington Post co-founder Arianna Huffington and MSNBC’s “Morning

Joe” co-host Mika Brzezinski can spend a surprising amount of time talking about what goes on in the bedroom.

“Have you seen the interviews in your bed airing this week?” Brzezinski asks Huffington one Friday morning on a conference call, in reference to her recent chats with Katie Couric and other celebs that, indeed, took place in Huffington’s sleep chamber

“Yes—I’ve been tweeting up a storm!” Huffington exclaims.

“I think we want to start a special segment where I interview powerful women in your bed,” Brzezinski replies.

“I love it. You have free access to my bed any time,” Huffington deadpans.

The journalists–turned-multimedia powerhouses have teamed up more than simply to joke about doing their jobs from the comfort of down pillows and Egyptian cotton sheets. Though, as a haven for rest and rejuvenation, the bedroom, even more than the boardroom, may well be the perfect platform for a very important message that Huffington and Brzezinski are using their high profiles to convey to women (and to men who want to hear it).

You know how life often feels like a toxic blend of overwhelmed and overtired? Huffington and Brzezinski think we all can do better than that. They’re calling for nothing short of a new women’s revolution to change how society defines individual success, to go beyond the traditional measures of money and power, and give equal weight to a “Third Metric” grounded in personal wellness and fulfillment.

The idea for the revolution evolved partially through a comment made during a commercial break on “Morning Joe.”

“I noticed that Mika, who always looks beautiful, was looking tired—that deep tiredness that we have all felt,” Huffington remembers. “I said to her: ‘How are you? Are you okay?’”

The TV host was having trouble sleeping. She’d been taking sleep medication on and off for many years and found herself using it more frequently as time went on. “You can’t live like that,” Huffington told Brzezinski.

This exchange inspired a series of conversations on the right way to live, which ultimately galvanized them to introduce their ideas to leaders from media, business, politics, and culture at The Third Metric women’s conference, which they hosted at Huffington’s home in June. A few weeks earlier, Huffington introduced the movement to the graduating class at Smith College with a rousing commencement address, beseeching the graduates to embrace The Third Metric as an urgent and essential societal need.

“Commencement speakers are traditionally expected to tell graduates how to get out there and climb the ladder of success. But I want to ask you, instead, to redefine success, because the world you’re

headed into desperately needs it,” Huffington told her audience. “What I urge you to do is to lead the third women’s revolution.”

As she explained, The Third Metric is a revolution based on the idea that women (and men) should be spending more time enjoying themselves, taking care of themselves, and capturing meaningful moments to wonder, develop wisdom, and give back—to, in essence, reclaim their humanity.

“Money and power by themselves are like a two-legged stool,” she continued. “You can balance on them for a while, but eventually you’re going to topple over… Success, the way we’ve defined it, is no longer sustainable.”

As women who’ve already reached great heights in their professional lives, Huffington and Brzezinski know firsthand what it’s like to sacrifice their health and happiness to achieve victory in the workplace. Both have suffered personal injuries as a result of exhaustion; Huffington fainted and broke her cheekbone on her desk; Brzezinski fell down a flight of stairs while holding her infant daughter. For them, the principles of The Third Metric are as critical to their health and wellness as any doctor’s orders—and they’re probably not alone in feeling this way.

To get a better sense of the movement’s objectives and next steps—along with how Huffington and Brzezinski are making changes in their own lives—we recently met with Huffington at her battle carrier of a newsroom while Brzezinski called in from home to join the discussion.

You’re calling the movement “The Third Metric.” What’s it about and why do we need it?

Arianna Huffington: It consists of multiple things beyond money and power, such as well-being. We have the data to show that 75% of healthcare costs are because of preventable chronic diseases. The data shows that as women move into more stressful jobs, they have a 40% greater threat of heart disease and a 60% greater threat of diabetes—because women internalize stress and we have a harder time processing it and dealing with it.

The second thing is wisdom. We look around us and we see many leaders making terrible decisions,

“If people can take a little time to nurture themselves, to learn to breathe, to learn that we all have a place of strength and peace inside of us...after all, people have written about that place in the middle of a concentration camp, so we’re not being airy-fairy here.” –Arianna Huffington


not because they’re not smart or don’t have high IQs, but because they’re not wise. The Third Metric is about being able to tap into our own wisdom.

The third is our sense of wonder about life. So often we just keep going to achieve whatever it is we want to achieve in our career, and we miss out on walking down the street and noticing that it’s a beautiful summer day—all those little things. If you look at your life, these moments stand out. They don’t make us richer or famous, but they intensify our sense of aliveness, of noticing what’s going on.

The final thing is empathy and giving back—we think it’s incredibly important. Again, there’s neuroscientific data that shows that when you’re engaged in giving, your own sense of well-being increases. Going back to the Founding Fathers and the pursuit of happiness, it’s the pursuit of leading a good life, not just the pursuit of fun. Calling it The Third Metric allows people to weigh among these things what matters more to them, but keeping in mind that for a full and happy life we have to move beyond the first two metrics [of money and power].

Mika Brzezinski: While Arianna was talking [just now], I got two text messages from work about the ratings and a promotional campaign that’s going to have me coming in an hour earlier than my 3am call next week. I got a text from my husband about planning the weekend, and now he’s just texting me again because I haven’t texted back. And I’m here holding a phone against the wall that’s running out of battery, looking in the mirror at myself with foils in my hair because I’m getting my hair color done in the very brief hour that I have before I rush down to get my kid ready to go away to summer camp. So I don’t have a minute to

think about the joy or the wonder or the health of my life. I don’t have a minute. And that’s why I’m in this state with Arianna, because it’s a serious one.

Huffington: Do you have a picture of you with foils in your hair?

Brzezinski: I’ll text it to you right now, because I’m a multitasker.

You’ve also described the movement as the third women’s revolution. Why is the focus on women?

Huffington: During our first conversation, we decided that this problem of dealing with multiple demands is a problem for many women and many men. But we’re emphasizing women because the model of success, the world that has been created, has been created by men—they designed it. So women, we believe, and the men who “get it,” have to redesign it, and women have to lead this redesign. A lot of women now don’t want to aim for the star positions because of the price we pay.

It’s taken years, but enormous strides have been made in terms of the roles that women can have in our society. And yet, at the same time—permission to be crude—we have an incredibly…

Huffington: Fucked up world?

Incredibly. You would have thought we’d have a more humane workplace. What happened?


Arianna Huffington with her daughters, Christina and Isabella

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they [sacrificed] much more than us, and it’s a responsibility to pick up the mantel. Having said that, the cycle that I’m on is unsustainable. This isn’t a light, extra thing for women who can afford it. This is fundamental, because all the people that we take care of need us to be in one piece.

So what are the next steps?

Huffington: Well, the first thing is very personal, and it’s what we value in our lives. Obviously there are many women—as we said at the conference, and Senator McCaskill [of Missouri] was very eloquent on the subject—who have three jobs and are trying to make ends meet, [for whom] having this conversation [might be considered] a luxury. We’re arguing that this conversation isn’t a luxury at any level, even at the level of financial struggle… If people can take a little time to nurture themselves, to learn to breathe, to learn that we all have a place of strength and peace inside of us, even in the middle of huge challenges—after all, people have written about that place in the middle of a concentration camp, so we’re not being airy-fairy here. Whatever your religion…that place exists; no matter what’s happening in your life, you can access that place. And then it can affect everything you do externally. That’s why [The Huffington Post] launched the GPS for the Soul, which is an app that can help us get to that place and get back to that place when we get away from it—which happens all the time to all of us.

[At the leadership level], women and men who have more power to change the way the business world is run, the way politics is run, need to start doing that today. Here [at The Huffington Post offices], we’re practicing what we’re preaching. We have two nap rooms, weekly meditation class, breathing class, yoga class; we’re promoting the

Huffington: I feel what happened is that women felt that they had to compete all the time in the ways that men had set out. Many women have felt that they have to out-compete men, to log more hours. And they can’t say that they’re going to pick up their kids from kindergarten because they didn’t want to be on the “mommy track.” A lot of these things have been corrected, but nevertheless, at the beginning women felt that the way to win their place at the top was to completely adopt the macho [approach]... It’s been corrected more in terms of our attitudes; in terms of practices, 25% of corporate America is now introducing some form of mindfulness, meditation, yoga. And I’m not just talking about Google and Silicon Valley, but General Mills and Aetna. A lot of these ideas are now becoming more mainstream.

We noted that one of your seminars at the conference was called “Leaning In & Leaning Back.” Is The Third Metric a response or a complement to Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In book and movement?

Huffington: I think that “leaning in” is very important. Basically it means, to me: overcoming our fears that we can succeed, overcoming our own doubts, not letting what I call the “obnoxious roommate” in our head stop us or slow us down. The Third Metric is very complementary. It shows that we need to be fearless enough to not accept the current terms.

Brzezinski: I actually think it’s vital, as I sit here and my chest gets so tight and I’m about to explode trying to get my daughters to stop fighting… I’m going to work myself to death if I don’t figure this out. And I’ve come to the conversation as one of the women who hasn’t figured it out. I grew up in a generation where we were breaking glass ceilings, we were told we could do anything and we should do anything, and there were women before us who blazed trails that we have to walk down because



Mika Brzezinski with her husband, Jim Hoffer, and daughters, Carlie and Emilie


struggling with a little bit, said, “Well, I don’t know. I guess Mommy?” And Jim didn’t let it lie. He goes, “Why?” She goes, “Well, because she’s, you know, confident.” I kind of lost my breath and had to sit down.

What about you, Arianna? What’s your greatest joy at The Huffington Post?

Huffington: I love the fact that we’ve become a true journalistic enterprise, won a Pulitzer, have great editors and reporters. But the greatest joy comes from the fact that we can be a platform for people who are not known but have something interesting to say, and they are able say it to millions of people. Just one example: In the summer we had a homeless teenager write in our teen section, and the Harvard admissions office happened to read it and offered him [a place at the school]. There’s this kind of magic of the Internet. Wherever I go, wherever I speak, I give an email address for people to write to, because it’s amazing how much talent is out there.

Do you take the time to browse your own website and discover things?

Huffington: Yes, especially on the weekends. Which is a mixed blessing for everyone here because I’ll always find things I want to change. But we have the rule that there’s no expectation for people to respond to emails after hours.

How do you enjoy spending your free time with your daughters, Isabella (22 years old) and Christina (24)?

Huffington: My daughters are big walkers; we love walking—especially my youngest daughter. And she’s a foodie, so exploring new places to eat. And just having really long meals and talking. I’ve been through a lot of challenges with both of my daughters that we’ve been public about. One of them went through anorexia; she’s a rising senior now at Yale. She’s doing well. The other one got involved in drugs in her last year at Yale, and she’s now 16 months sober and wants to use her experience to help other young women. Having been through a lot of challenges, we’re in a really good place.

In terms of moments, last night after dinner, my younger one was painting at my desk. Christina, the older one, curled up in bed with me. And it was just a special moment. I don’t even remember what we were talking about. But it was just one of those moments that means so much.

ERIC MESSINGER is editor and WHITNEY C. HARRIS is executive editor of New York Family.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THE THIRD METRIC,VISIT HUFFINGTONPOST.COM/NEWS/THIRD-METRIC

culture of people knowing that they’re valued as human beings, not just in terms of how many hours they clock.

What about on a personal level? How do you embrace The Third Metric principles in your own lives? Mika, what makes your morning? What do you love most about your job?

Brzezinski: I love the show. If I didn’t have such an amazing job, I’m not sure I could do the schedule. I wake up at 3:30 in the morning and I work a very long day. I’ve always wanted to be in TV and TV news since I was 14, and I became very discouraged with the industry. When I started doing “Morning Joe” I was very surprised because I had been kicked out of the industry [and] I was scratching my way back in… Within twenty seconds of being on the air, I knew it was going to be the best thing I’d ever done. It’s an incredible platform and a product you can be proud of in a sea of bad TV.

You’re about to celebrate your 20th wedding anniversary. Any marriage advice?

Brzezinski: No marriage is perfect, and it’s constant challenge. I think Sheryl Sandberg nailed it when she wrote about this in Lean In. Incredible advice for people choosing a partner: You’ve got to choose someone who assumes that they’re 50/50 in terms of parenting and decisions and planning and running the household. That’s the future. A lot of guys, I think, are stuck in the past and don’t get it.

Tell us about your daughters, Carlie (15 years old) and Emilie (17).

Brzezinski: There was a moment recently when my husband was talking to them, and I was going through an I don’t understand how to connect with them; they don’t seem to appreciate me; I don’t think they understand what I’m doing; how do I let them know but also not make them carry around a log of guilt? [period]. I felt like I was running uphill with them. My husband said they were watching TV and I was asleep. I think they were watching American Idol or something about idols, and he said, “Who are your idols? Who do you look up to?” And the older one said, “I don’t know, Katy Perry or something!” And Carlie, who I’d been

“The cycle that I’m on is unsustainable. [The Third Metric] isn’t a light, extra thing for women who can afford it. This is fundamental, because all the people that we take care of need us to be in one piece.”–Mika Brzezinski


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By Heather Chaet

Think about it: Parents are basically mayors of their families. Among the countless other tasks moms and dads juggle on a daily basis, they also implement policies on everything from education to healthcare, deal with transportation issues, and invest in infrastructure—all while fielding opinions and complaints from their local kid-constituents. It’s not an easy job.

Now imagine being the mayor of New York City and governing millions of people (whose bedtimes you don’t enforce). Daunting, right? Yet there are some who not only imagine doing it but also actually yearn to. As Mayor Bloomberg’s era comes to an end, ten men and one woman have offered their vision for steering NYC into the future. Whoever takes the helm of our metropolis will face a growing pile of knotty issues on his or her desk in City Hall. Among them: a barrage of safety concerns from Stop and Frisk to hurricane readiness; a vast public education system

with far too many failing kids; an affordable housing crisis; and an economic recovery that still needs lots of priming.

Next month, New Yorkers from all five boroughs will head to the voting booths for the primary election on September 10, then return for the general election on November 5. So how do the candidates weigh in on the concerns regarding your family’s quality of life? That’s what New York Family set out to discover. We spoke with every major candidate except for independent Adolfo Carrion, Jr., whose office didn’t reply to requests for interview, and Jack Hidary, who announced his candidacy as we were going to press. We found they all have one thing in common aside from wanting the keys to Gracie Mansion: an unwavering belief in our city’s bright future.

IF I Were Mayor…The Top Mayoral Candidates Discuss Their Plans For Improving Family Life In The City



THE DEMOCRATS

SAl AlbAnESE Managing Director for Mesirow Financial, Former New York City Councilman

Big Idea You May Not Have Heard About: Introduce a 21st century curriculum for NYC students that highlights technology, engineering, and computer science education, as well as the arts, music, and fitness.

Family: Married to wife, Lorraine; has two daughters; and lives in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn.

One of the most important issues for families is education. Please share a few steps you would take to improve the nYC public education system.I’m a former New York City public school teacher, so education will be my number one priority. While we all agree that we need universal pre-K and that [we need] to stop closing our schools and teaching to the test, I think we’re missing the boat if we don’t focus on poverty, which causes thousands of our students to start school far behind their peers. I will establish pediatric wellness centers in low-income communities, where parents, doctors, and educators will work with kids from 0-3 years old to ensure that all of our kids are school-ready.

Tell us one thing you will do to make the quality of family life better in the city.The single biggest issue facing New York City is affordability. As a City Councilman, I authored the city’s first Living Wage law, which impacted 70,000 workers and put $3 billion in their pockets. As mayor, I plan to expand that law, advocate for a higher minimum wage, and focus on expanding our affordable housing stock and keeping our transportation system affordable.

Can you share an important memory or experience that has shaped your policies or priorities as a candidate? I immigrated to New York from Italy when I was 8 years old. Growing up as a young immigrant in a working class family, my sisters and I depended on the public schools, libraries, and the CUNY to elevate us to the middle class. Those experiences have shaped my belief that the Mayor’s number one job is to provide affordable, quality services.

bill DE blASiO New York City Public Advocate

Big Idea You May Not Have Heard About: Improve the standards for family-friendly work environments by promoting telecommuting opportunities and more designated spaces for breastfeeding at work.

Family: Married to wife, Chirlane McCray; has a daughter and a son; and lives in Park Slope, Brooklyn.

Please share a few steps you would take to improve the nYC public education system.If I am fortunate enough to be elected your mayor, I would be the first New York City mayor with a child in public schools. This issue is personal for me, and I’ve offered a real plan to create truly universal pre-K and afterschool programs for every child who needs it. [I am] proposing a small tax increase on New Yorkers making $500,000 or more per year to pay for it. Universal pre-K is an important early step toward raising graduation rates and breaking the vicious cycle of poverty. Likewise, afterschool programs keep students engaged in productive activities like tutoring, arts, and physical education.

Tell us one thing you will do to make the quality of family life better in the city.We must address the growing income inequality if we truly want to improve family life across the city—and this will be a top priority for me as mayor. We must expand and protect affordable housing in our city. I have a plan to build and preserve 200,000 afford-able housing units over the next decade, by requiring builders to include affordable housing in new devel-opments.

Can you share an important memory or experience that has shaped your policies or priorities? When Chirlane and I took our first child, Chiara, home from the hospital, we took her out of the car, walked in the front door of our home in Brooklyn, put her down on the couch, and thought, “What now?” That first experience of taking your child home and realizing that their entire future is now in your hands has shaped me deeply—and this knowledge affects the policies I fight for every day.

imagine if 12-year-olds could vote for the next mayor. What would you say to convince them that you’re the right person for the job? The big decisions in this election will define your futures: your education, health, safety, and so much more. As Public Advocate and as a member of the



City Council, I have fought for every type of person, regardless of where they came from or what they look like. I am committed to tackling our city’s growing inequality—and so children today will know a more fair and equal city when they are adults.

John LiuNew York City Comptroller

Big Idea You May Not Have Heard About: Boost the city’s economy and help the environment; create incentives for buying locally based food.

Family: Married to wife, Jenny; has a son; and lives in Flushing, Queens.

Please share a few steps you would take to improve the nYC public education system.I’d like to restore the learning environment in every one of our classrooms and schools, rather than continue running them as if they are business units reporting to DOE Corp. That will start with appointing a chancellor who has an educational background and allowing teachers and principals to do their jobs professionally. We also need to provide our kids with well-rounded coursework, including arts, music, and physical education. Jenny and I are both proud products of NYC public schools, and our son, Joey, is a middle schooler in public school.

What’s one of Mayor Bloomberg’s policies that you would like to uphold? What’s one that you would like to change if elected?Mayor Bloomberg did well in greatly reducing smoking in our city, especially among young people who have been among the most effective anti-smoking advocates. The horrifying ads depicting the terrible impact on health and family have been particularly effective. In contrast, I think his policies

of subjecting daycare and afterschool programs to the annual budget dance and outright elimination have been penny-wise and pound-foolish; as mayor, I would fight for increases, as detailed in my PeoplesBudgetNYC.com.

Tell us one thing you will do to make the quality of family life better in the city.The quality of family life can be made better by keeping schools open late into the evening, with the city using the low-cost space to partner with community-based organizations to provide family-oriented programs, homework assistance for students, and adult education programs like tax preparation, budget management, and credit counseling.

Can you share an important memory or experience that has shaped your policies or priorities? I often speak about my experiences being bullied by other kids in school. As a city councilmember, I worked to pass the Dignity for All Schools Act, requiring the Department of Education to track bullying and harassment in schools. And, knowing that immigrants who come to New York have difficulty getting city services due to language barriers, I enacted legislation like the Equal Access Bill mandating on-demand language services in health and human services agencies.

ChrisTine Quinn City Council Speaker

Big Idea You May Not Have Heard About: Propose a Mentor Teacher program to offer top teachers the opportunity to leave the classroom temporarily and receive specialized training from CUNY.

Family: Married to wife, Kim Catullo, and lives in Chelsea.



Please share a few steps you would take to improve the NYC public education system.Improving our schools will be my number one priority as mayor. My education plan includes creating the most intensive literacy support program in the country. We’d build a strong foundation through an integrated pre-K to third grade approach and provide training to all teachers at every grade level—no matter what subject they teach—on how to work literacy skills into their classroom. Studies show more learning time leads to greater academic achievement and better attendance. I plan on extending learning time for students to 6pm five days a week, starting in the 100 schools with the highest percentage of students who qualify for free or reduced price lunch.

Tell us one thing you will do to make the quality of family life better in the city.The most important thing we can do is make sure everyone can get a quality, livable apartment they can afford. As a former housing advocate, creating quality, affordable housing for all New Yorkers has always been a top priority. I have already pledged to build 40,000 new middle-income affordable housing units in the city over the next 10 years.

Can you share an important memory that has shaped your policies or priorities as a candidate? My grandfather came over on a boat from Ireland with a third-grade education and worked his way up through the ranks of the Fire Department. Rockaway Beach offered him a chance to rent a bungalow in the summer, to afford a little place on the ocean just like the rich people he saw in the magazines. It was his own piece of the American Dream. I can remember walking along the boardwalk as a young girl with my late mother and aunt. It’s one of my favorite memories of my mother, of how much that place meant to her and to my whole family. Millions of New Yorkers have stories just like mine. In the weeks and months after Sandy devastated our city, I visited [many] neighborhoods, including Far Rockaway. We will make sure our children and our grandchildren have those stories too—not of a Rockaway destroyed, but of a Rockaway reborn.

Imagine if 12-year-olds could vote for the next mayor. What would you say to convince them that you’re the right person for the job? Middle school is one of the most difficult times for students in school. But it’s only more difficult if they have to worry about getting picked on and bullied. As speaker, I created “Respect for All,” an anti-bullying program that teaches students, parents, and teachers how to combat bullying in schools by not only standing up to it, but by also learning more about what makes us different. New York City’s diversity is one of our greatest strengths, and we must do everything in our power to preserve the respect that binds us together.

ErICk Salgado Minister

Big Idea You May Not Have Heard About: Increase revenue by using school buildings, when not in use, as meeting and activity space for local non-profit organizations.

Family: Married to wife, Sonia; has six children; and lives in Westerleigh, Staten Island.

Please share a few steps you would take to improve the NYC public education system. It is unacceptable that the Department of Education is not meeting the needs of many of its million-plus students. Every day wasted threatens the future success of each child. I will increase parental involvement in their child’s education and conduct a systemwide audit to identify the programs that are working and disseminate the information to every teacher and principal.

Can you share an important memory or experience that has shaped your policies or priorities as a candidate? While I was working to help the residents of Coney Island, who were hit so hard by Superstorm Sandy, I witnessed my fellow New Yorkers looking through garbage bins for food. This was at the same time that the city was still planning to hold the New York City Marathon. This disconnect between City Hall and the people troubled me. This is why I decided to run for mayor, to be a mayor who truly understands the needs of the city’s residents.

Imagine if 12-year-olds could vote for the next mayor. What would you say to convince them that you’re the right person for the job? I am concerned about their future. That’s why I will make sure that they are getting not just a good education, but an excellent education, because that



is what they will need to compete and succeed in today’s global economy. With childhood obesity reaching epidemic levels, I will motivate and enable our young people to be more active, including requiring recess in public schools. Also, I believe that the only people who should tell you that you can’t have a large, sugary drink are your parents or guardians.

William “Bill” Thompson, Jr. Former Comptroller of New York City and, for five consecutive terms, president of the New York City Board of Education

Big Idea You May Not Have Heard About: Create a chief jobs officer for City Hall and start a Partnering for Parents program that would offer educational opportunities to single moms and dads.

Family: Married to wife, Elsie McCabe Thompson; has a grown daughter and two stepchildren; and lives in Harlem.

please share a few steps you would take to improve the nYC public education system.My commitment to improving public schools is the culmination of a lifelong commitment to education and teachers that began with my mom, who taught in Brooklyn for 30 years. I know how hard she worked and how much she cared about her students. As mayor, I won’t demonize teachers; I’ll help them teach by giving them the resources they need and bring them back into the decision-making process on how we run our schools. While there is a place for standardized testing in our schools, we need to put an end to a philosophy that reduces the entire educational endeavor to a test score. Our schools must teach students to be critical thinkers who can apply knowledge—that’s what their future demands.

Which policy of mayor Bloomberg’s would you like to uphold and which would you like to change?I would like to praise Mayor Bloomberg, along with the NYPD and Ray Kelly, for their tireless dedication keeping this city safe. Stop and Frisk can be a useful tool for police officers, but it has been badly abused by this administration. The numbers are clear: 90% of stops are black or Latino, and 90% of people stopped are also completely innocent. That’s wrong, and it will end when I’m mayor. In turn, it will be replaced with a constitutional and effective Stop, Question, and Frisk approach that will reduce crime more efficiently.

Can you share an important memory or experience that has shaped your policies or priorities as a candidate?When my daughter came back after college, she could not afford to live in New York City, so she moved into an apartment with two roommates in Jersey City. Affordable housing is a crisis in the city of New York. I want everyone to have the opportunity to live in New York City. That’s why I plan on creating new affordable housing units in the city over the next eight years.

imagine if 12-year-olds could vote for the next mayor. What would you say to convince them that you’re the right person for the job?You hate tests? So do I. I’m not promising One Direction concerts or meet-and-greets with Selena Gomez, but I do promise to work my hardest to make school less boring. Right now, an obsession with test scores is driving our education policy, and while test scores have their value, teachers don’t have the freedom to teach topics you might find more interesting.

anThonY WeinerFormer United States Congressman

Big Idea You May Not Have Heard About: Save taxpayer money, open access to millions of new book choices, and protect the health of our kids’ backs by providing an eReader for each NYC student.

Family: Married to wife, Huma Abedin; has one son; and lives in Chelsea.

please share a few steps you would take to improve the nYC public education system.Education was the number one priority in our house growing up; my mom taught math in the city schools for 31 years. My brothers and I went to New York City public schools and got a good solid education. Mayor Bloomberg has rightly invested in our schools, but the money has not been well spent. We need to rethink how we use our schools by making them the center of our communities and ensure we educate the next generation of New Yorkers so they can compete in a global



marketplace. I believe parent involvement is the key to success. I want the community to have a chance to be involved in available space and say, “We want a Gifted and Talented program, or a charter school, or an expanded library, or a lab.” I want to have a fair competition and let the best ideas win.

Tell us one thing you will do to make the quality of family life better in the city. In our great city, we have 1.2 million New Yorkers who are uninsured; that’s people who have to walk into the emergency rooms to get care. Why, when we have the Health & Hospital Corporation with its 3,300 doctors, 8,000 nurses, labs, treatment centers, and facilities? I propose a plan to overhaul healthcare in New York City to create an insurance plan for the uninsured and underinsured.

Can you share an important memory or experience that has shaped your policies or priorities as a candidate? My entire adult life, I have been a fierce advocate for the middle class in New York and those hoping to make it here. But when my son was born on December 11, 2011, that took on a new urgency. I want Jordan to have every opportunity I had—be it an excellent education, affordable housing, or well-paying jobs. I’ve outlined these ideas in my policy book, Keys to the City.

Imagine if 12-year-olds could vote for the next mayor. What would you say to convince them that you’re the right person for the job? We face real challenges as a city—climate change, poverty, hunger, job creation—and these touch us all, whether you’re 12 or 82. But you won’t find

anyone who will work harder or smarter for you. I believe that if we lean into the tough decisions, we can drive change for generations to come. Also, I love the Mets.

THE REPUBLICANS

JoHN CATSImATIdIS Chairman and CEO of real estate company Red Apple Group and grocery store chain Gristedes Foods

Big Idea You May Not Have Heard About: Provide students with useful skills by the time they graduate by creating partnerships between the New York City business community and the public school system.

Family: Married to wife, Margo; has two grown children; and lives on the Upper East Side.

Please share a few steps you would take to improve the NYC public education system.I am a product of NYC’s public and parochial schools who earned his way into Brooklyn Tech. I understand the value of a quality education and the equal importance of a quality vocational education focused on teaching practicable skills and earning success in today’s competitive job market. We have an almost 40% dropout rate, and a strong vocational program will help lower it.

Tell us one thing you will do to make the quality of family life better in the city.Public safety. We need to keep our streets safe and continue the NYPD’s efforts to prevent crime and terrorism in order to retain the world’s confidence in New York City.

Can you share an important memory or experience that has shaped your policies or priorities as a candidate? For the last 30 years, I have been on the board of Police Athletic League, working with District Attorney Bob Morgenthau to help underprivileged children so that they have a place to go after school and a chance to lift themselves out of underserved neighborhoods. We have to give these kids hope, and that is what shapes my policies and priorities.

JoSEPH LHoTA Former chairman and CEO of the MTA and deputy mayor for operations under Rudolph W. Giuliani

Big Idea You May Not Have Heard About: Expand scope of the charter public school system, with the aim to at least double the number of charter schools in the city to provide parents more education options.

Family: Married to wife, Tamra; has one daughter; and lives in Brooklyn Heights.

Please share a few steps you would take to improve the NYC public education system.

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TO READ MORE AND SEE PHOTOS OF ALL THE CANDIDATES, VISIT NEWYORKFAMILY.COM

Reforming our public education system will be one of my top priorities as mayor, along with job creation and enhancing our quality of life. I have laid out a comprehensive plan that will put students’ learning first. We have seen impressive results with mayoral control—math and reading scores are improving, and graduation rates are surging to record levels. We need to continue building on these successes instead of unraveling them and starting over. I support expansion of pre-K education with a core curriculum that provides children with foundational learning skills. If a school is failing our children, I will close the school.

Can you share an important memory or experience that has shaped your policies or priorities as a candidate? My father was an NYPD officer, his father was an FDNY fireman, and my mother’s father was an NYC taxi cab driver. I have had the great fortune of serving the people of New York City as budget director, deputy mayor, and head of the city’s mass transit system. I’ve served during some of our brightest and most transformational days, but also through some of our biggest challenges, like 9/11 and Hurricane Sandy. I am the only candidate who brings that level of tested leadership managing large, complex organizations to this campaign.

Imagine if 12-year-olds could vote for the next mayor. What would you say to convince them that you’re the right person for the job? This is the land of opportunity. You can grow up to be anything you want to be, and I want you to be able to stay in New York and raise your own family here one day. The job of the mayor is to be a leader and make sure the right policies are in place so you can have everything you need to fulfill your dreams. I want you

to have the best education and be able to play safely in your neighborhood and to make sure your parents have access to quality jobs.

GEORGE MCDONALD Founder of the Doe Fund, the non-profit organization that provides career transition and other housing and educational opportunities to people who were homeless or incarcerated.

Big Idea You May Not Have Heard About: Achieve a 100% employment rate for New York City through a variety of plans with an emphasis on “making it here, selling it here, buying it here” and increased support of local businesses.

Family: Married to wife, Harriet; has four children; and lives on the Upper East Side.

Please share a few steps you would take to improve the NYC public education system.We need to rethink our education system from top to bottom. We have school days and a school year set on a calendar devised when America was an agrarian society—that doesn’t make sense today. We need longer school days, longer school years, and more access to pre-K, especially for our neediest children. We have a teacher disciplinary system that allows sexual predators to remain in the classroom—our chancellor needs to have the ability to fire them on the spot.

Can you share an important memory or experience that has shaped your policies or priorities as a candidate? Twenty five years ago, I went to Grand Central Terminal for 700 nights in a row to feed the homeless, and I listened to what they had to say—while they appreciated the sandwich, what they really wanted was a room and a job to pay for it. They wanted to work. So my wife, Harriet, and I sat down at our kitchen table and created the Doe Fund that has helped tens of thousands of individuals find jobs and reclaim their lives.

Imagine if 12-year-olds could vote for the next mayor. What would you say to convince them that you’re the right person for the job? I would ask what is it they want to be when they grow up and tell them as mayor, my job is to make sure that they have the best chance possible to realize that dream. I will tell them that they have to work hard and be committed—but, in turn, I will work hard to ensure that they have the education and opportunity to achieve their goals.


An unexpected detour happened at the start of our roundtable on nursery and private school admissions in the city. I came with the intention of moderating a panel on nuts-and-bolts matters like application timelines and school interviews. But the distinguished panel of school directors and admissions consultants had a much better idea. Instead, they mostly wanted to talk about educational value, because they know that there are many parents out there who are beginning to question whether it’s all worth it—whether the costs and uncertainties of raising children in the city are beginning to outweigh the delights and conveniences of city life.

Whether it’s accurate or not, for years the specter of there being too few openings at city nursery schools and private schools has been the source of much anxiety among interested parents. And, more recently, that anxiety has been compounded for many by tuition prices. There are popular nursery schools that now charge $25,000 or more per year, and private school tuition at many schools is circling at or near $40,000.

By Eric Messinger

Rethinking AdmissionsWhat A Group Of Prominent School Directors Really Wants Parents To Know About Nursery And Private School

Epiphany Community nursery school


Is your pulse racing yet? The panel (see sidebar below for their affiliations) had a lot to say about all of this—and I also got a few insider tips out of them as well.

Eric Messinger: I know that stories about school admissions can seem old hat to all of you, but please keep in mind that for new parents thinking about raising kids in the city, the information and perspective is really valued. And they especially appreciate hearing it from people like you, on the front lines.

Gabriella Rowe: We have to acknowledge that for the last four to five years, many parents have had a rough go of it in New York City and everywhere else. And I feel like we spend so much time talking about the process and how difficult it is that more and more young parents are deciding to bow out—to move elsewhere—just as they’re getting started. For the first time this year, I feel like I’ve talked to a lot of young parents who say: “You know what, I’m moving to New Jersey or Westchester—not because I have to, but because I’m just tired and I haven’t even started yet. I feel like the deck is so stacked against me, and I’d rather put my efforts into something else rather than this crazy process.”

Wendy Levey: But I feel like they’ve been hearing it from other parents who are starting out rather than the schools themselves.

Sharon Shorofsky Mack: They keep hearing about the process instead of the results. My sense is that 99 percent of people, when asked a year later, end up being very happy with their schools, even in those cases where they didn’t end up with their first choice.

Rowe: I agree. So the question is how we get them to hear that rather than all the crazy stories about the process.

Levey: I feel like it’s our job to paint the picture—to let parents know that there’s your kind of school, and my kind of school, and many other kinds of schools and options—and you really need to be thinking about the kind of school you want for your family.

Rowe: But if the underlining message is still that it might be hard because there are so many people going through it at the same time, then it might be time for us to nuance the message, to let people know more about what a great experience it is, and

also to let them know that it’s easier to get into preschool today than it was five years ago. There are more options, other new schools.

Levey: Depending on where you live, I don’t think it’s that easy. But going back to Gabriella’s original point, I would argue that with all that’s going on in the world, nursery school can serve an even greater purpose for parents. I’m stunned, for example, at how many alumni families still participate in our book clubs and other aspects of the school. And it’s because of the kinds of friends they made in nursery school and how important it was to them—how much those friendships are still important to them. That’s the value right there. It’s community.

Shorofsky Mack: I think many people begin the process thinking they’re going to trust their own instincts, and then the process pulls that away from them. But if they stick to their gut—and not let others’ experiences influence them—then they’ll be fine.

Messinger: I think the instinct to talk about value is a good one. What does everyone see as the most special aspects of the nursery school experience?

Levey: For me, it’s the most significant time in a young family’s life. It’s the “it takes a village” time...when everybody supports each other in the most unbelievable way because people often don’t have extended families that are around, so they need their new family, which turns out, in many cases, to be their preschool friends.

Nancy Schulman: I agree that the sense of community and the friends that are made is the most important thing—and they’re often long-lasting. The other piece of this, especially for 3-year-olds, is that this is the first time you’ll learn how to be part of a community, to be in school, to understand how you’re one of many. That’s not done as much in K anymore, so this becomes where you learn how to focus and take turns and be part of a learning community.

Shorofsky Mack: I would add to that the cultivation of skills such as perseverance and the ability to problem solve as well as the development of many interests. These are all building blocks for life.

Rowe: To me, it’s the first time that parents are given the tools to understand their child as a learner. I recently went through another admissions process with my oldest son, who wanted to look at boarding schools. And the interesting thing was I kept going back to who he was in preschool more than any other time—what are his weaknesses and strengths; what kind of environment is he going to thrive in—and I really thought that my understanding of who he is as a learner came out of my preschool experience with him. Parents get to see their kids in so many different

MEEt thE PANELIStS Moderator: Eric Messinger, New York Family terri Decker, Smart City Kids Wendy Levey, Epiphany Community Nursery School Gabriella Rowe, The Mandell School Nancy Schulman, Avenues Sharon Shorofsky Mack, JCP Downtown



environments—birthday parties, play dates, their grandparent’s home—but the one place where they really get to see them as learners is in preschool, with teachers with training in early education, who can help parents better understand their children as learners and thus be better able to support them and advocate for them now and in the years ahead. It’s exceptional.

Shorofsky Mack: It’s the most significant time in the education process, essentially, when the whole family is together with the school in a partnership on behalf of the child.

Schulman: Later on, it’s different because it’s supposed to be different. Everyone has to take a step back to create an age-appropriate environment. But that’s what’s so precious about nursery school: Everyone’s involved, everyone’s sharing what they know.

Terri Decker: It’s very much a family experience. One of the most common questions we get asked is: “How do I know what kind of school is right for my child’s learning style?” And I’m like, “Look, your kid is 15 months old. It’s hard to say what your child’s learning style is.” So instead of focusing on that, we help parents choose schools that they’re going to be comfortable with, because they’re going to be part

of that community too. Parents are going to have preferences. Before we come up with a suggested list of schools, we talk with parents about their own educational experiences—good and bad, what they remember working for them and what didn’t work for them—because, chances are, that’s what’s most influencing their thinking now.

Levey: And that’s all on the front end. Later on, because we end up knowing the child so well, we can advise parents really well on the next steps to kindergarten and beyond, making sure they’re aware of all the schools that are well-suited to their child’s learning style (not just the three schools they already knew about).

Shorofsky Mack: Which circles back, though, to the message we’re sending parents, right? Here’s the dilemma: We’re trying to say, “don’t worry so much, it’s going to work out,” on the one hand, but on the other hand, there are all these great things that happen in nursery school—so how can parents not be concerned about where their child gets in? If this is a really important part of your child’s development, why shouldn’t a parent worry about how the next step is going to turn out? Schulman: I think the answer is that there are so many different ways for it to be okay. There is no one right school for a child.

Rowe: I’m also worried about how the pressure doesn’t seem to go away once they’re in nursery school. I worry about parents not enjoying these years as much as they should because they feel so much pressure about applying for kindergarten. I am so tired of having a parent of a 16-month-old child coming in to me to talk about ERBs [the IQ exams used by many private schools] and ex-missions [i.e. applying to ongoing schools]. So at our welcome get together this year for new parents, I said, “I’m going to tell you that that these are some of the most precious and beautiful years that you’re ever going to have with your children.” I wish we could find a way to package [the nursery experience] that says, “Yes, it’s hard but it’s amazing. These are amazing years.”

Shorofsky Mack: It’s all about how they chose to go through the experience. Parents have a lot of control in these years. They have a lot of input into what it’s going to be like for themselves and for their child.

Levey: I always tell them that it’s a dinner party, and if they come for three years, they have a really fabulous time. If they come for hors d’oeuvres and get the lay of the land, that’s the 2s, then 3s is the main course and 4s is the dessert. And if they stay for the whole meal, they get a lot of benefits out of it… Another important piece of it is the parents are calmer if the head of the school is kind of Mother Hen-y—solicitous to the parents, in tune with the spirit of this time.

JCP Downtown



Schulman: Because the early child director is such a critical part of the experience, I would put it this way: If you have a strong negative feeling for that person, then walk away. If you don’t feel you could go to that person with a family problem, don’t apply there.

Levey: Also, as educators, there are more things we can be doing to make the process less crazy for parents. For example, for ongoing schools [i.e. private schools, K and up], summer birthday policies are very confusing. Different schools have different unwritten policies about whether they’ll accept children with July or August birthdays, and it creates a lot of anxiety because there isn’t a definite answer.

Messinger: Can’t ISAAGNY (the Independent School Admissions Association of Greater New York) set a standard?

Schulman: They can’t because the schools are independent, so how they set their admissions deadlines and whether they adhere to them or not is up to them.

Messinger: In talking about relieving the pressure of applying to private school, shouldn’t we bring up the fact that there are good neighborhood publics schools, often in the neighborhoods of people who are interested in private schools?

Rowe: Absolutely, there are great public schools.

Levey: When I start my ex-missions with my parents in the summer before the 4s year, the first thing I say to them is: “What public school are you zoned for? Go look at that school, know that school.” And then there are all the G&Ts [i.e., gifted and talented public school programs].

Decker: We encourage parents to think of their zone school as a serious option. More and more of what we’re doing is helping parents with their public school options as well as their private school options.

Rowe: Many of the families in my school have two or three children—so if you have more than one child and they’re all going to nursery school and you’re interested in possibly sending them all to private school, and you don’t make, like, half a million dollars a year, it’s really hard. I feel like there’s even more pressure now because not only are [parents] worried

about getting in, they’re worried more and more about [being] able to afford it.

I had three families who got into private school this year, and, because of sudden changes in their lives financially—they lost their jobs—they had to suddenly scramble to figure out their zone schools. And we tell them at the very beginning: Make sure you know your public options. They had already accepted their private school offers and paid their deposits…. That’s three families in one year. With everything that’s transpired in the city in the last few years, you need to be flexible about looking at all of the options because you just don’t know what’s going to happen.

Messinger: My children, 9 and 13, are both in public school, but when they were younger and we were looking around and doing our research, my wife and I were in disagreement on whether it would be okay to send one to private and one to public. In other words, do you do what’s best for each one, depending on their needs and the kind of schools they get into? Or, if you send one to private school, do you have to send the other to private school because otherwise it would seem unfair?

Rowe: I tell families: If you have a child who, based on their learning style and who they are, needs the small classroom and needs the attention they can get in private school, that’s one good scenario; but if the other child could test into a G&T or be really successful and happy in a good zoned school with a slightly larger class size, because she’s a self-starter, that’s another good scenario. That’s a conversation we have with parents all the time, and it’s a hard decision to ask parents to make because of the guilt factor.

Levey: I had boy twins this year, both of whom were outstanding, maybe the smartest boy twins I ever had. And you know me—I love twins, I have oodles of them. The family had some financial concerns about applying to private school. But the mother’s brother had gone to one of the all-boys schools in the city, and it’s a school that is known for taking care of their families, so I encouraged them to apply there. And they also applied to some public G&T programs, thinking that if one son got in, then maybe they could swing one in private school. The all-boys school ended up taking them both of on full scholarships. And you know those boys are going to thrive and give back.

Rowe: That’s a great story, of course, but how many times is that going to happen? Based on what I heard at a number of recent ISAAGNY meetings, there are a number of smaller K-8 and K-12 schools that are taking real hits beginning in 3rd and 4th grade—I would go so far as to say that the schools are hemorrhaging students, who are moving out of the city. Which brings me back to my concern around admissions and how we, as an educational


“They keep hearing about the process instead of the results. My sense is that 99 percent of people end up being very happy with their schools, even in those cases where they didn’t end up with their first choice.”


community, can better transmit those messages about the true value of the experience and the education. Lately, I feel like I’m counseling parents less about where they’re applying and more on the sheer stress of it all.

Messinger: It sounds like we’re talking about money here, yes? Can institutions like yourselves could keep the focus on education but make do with lesser facilities and cut your prices?

Rowe: With ongoing schools [K and up], this is a conversation going on all over the country—namely whether private schools are going to price themselves out of a client base.

Levey: But what about medical insurance [for employees] and other costs that are out of the school’s control?

Rowe: I think that’s not necessarily the case in the K-12 market. In the preschool market, where the teacher-child ratios are what they are because of New York State law, that makes facilities and teachers expensive. That said, I think that the preschool market in New York is kind of a bargain; you really do get a good value. [But] it’s a little harder to justify than in the K-12 market when, in some ways, the things that we’re forced to put our money into are not things that go to the real core of educational value.

Levey: Or what parents think they’re getting. I always love it when parents go look at the private schools when the kids are applying for K and they fall in love with the playing fields and the swimming area. You are not going to go near those things till your kid is 14. But that’s part of the drama and excitement of looking at those schools.

Messinger: Yes, school tours can have an enchanting effect—but that’s not the only thing, right? The ongo-ing schools, at least in the middle and upper grades, have extraordinary course offerings. If only they cost less. The dream would be a great private school where you’re paying for a great education but not for all the extras. Let the parent provide the extra enrichments in sports, culture, whatever, outside of the school.

Rowe: I think there are more and more parents who feel that way.

Levey: But it goes to paying teachers, too. Let’s face it. In this country, in this city, we have so underpaid our teachers for so long…the reason why schools are raising their tuitions is less, I believe, for facility purposes and more to pay their teachers.

Schulman: I’d say 85 percent of the costs of tuition are going to salaries and benefits.

Messinger: I do think it would be a good service to add some practical tips about applying to nursery school and ongoing school. If I’m a parent with an infant and I want a reliable source of information and guidance about the process, where should I start?

Shorofsky Mack: The Parents League is a great place to start. More generally, whatever the source, parents should keep in mind whether it’s coming from the school itself or written by others about the school. One isn’t necessarily better than the other—they could be complementary—but you should just keep it in mind. And the best time to start looking into it is the year before they’re going to be applying—assuming that they’re going to be applying in September for the following September. Messinger: Please clarify the importance of the Tuesday after Labor Day.

Decker: The timeline is really important; parents should have their list [of preferred schools] ready before Labor Day. Research in spring and summer so you come into fall hitting the ground running. There are some schools you have to contact the day after Labor Day—and only on that day—to get their



New & New-IShNuRSeRY &PRIvaTe SChooLS avenues avenues.org The Day School at Christ & St. Stephen’sthedayschoolatcss.orgecole Internationale de New York einy.orgFusion academy fusionacademy.comThe Goddard School goddardschool.com(search Manhattan, Upper West Side)The International Preschools ipsnyc.org(opening new division on the Upper East Side)The Learning experiencethelearningexperience.com (search Manhattan)Léman Manhattan Preparatory Schoollemanmanhattan.orgThe Mandell School mandellschool.org (opened new nursery school divisions near Lincoln Center and in Tribeca) The Montessori at Flatiron themontessorischools.orgupper west Side Playgroupupperwestsideplaygroup.org

“one of the most common questions we get asked is: ‘how do I know what kind of school is right for my child’s learning style?’ and I’m like, ‘Look, your kid is 15 months old. It’s hard to say what your child’s learning style is.’”

Swimming or science. Tennis or technology. Basketball or Beethoven ... At Dwight, students are encouraged to explore their passions and to become their most knowledgeable, confident, best self. We call this “igniting the spark of genius” in every child. It’s personal. It’s your child.

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application; there are some schools you have to call the day after the day after Labor Day; there are some schools for which you get [the application] online. Know their rules beforehand.

Messinger: In broad strokes, what are the different educational philosophies out there? Is the dividing line between play-based and academics?

Levey: You have to get off the labels because it can be misleading. What I call progressive you call creative, and what you call creative she calls child-based. The names have blurred—even with Montessori, there’s modified Montessori.

Shorofsky Mack: The best way to get that information is to ask specific questions about how things are handled, rather than sticking to labels.

Levey: The truth is that in preschool all children play. I don’t care what anybody says: There isn’t a preschool in which children don’t play. Or at least not many. The


question is the balance. They all have play, and some are more academic or skill-based than others. That’s really what the balance is.

Messinger: What are the most important things a parent should look for on a school tour?

Schulman: The most important thing is to look at the engagement of the children. Are they actively learning? Is there a nice tone in the classroom? Is just the teacher talking? If the children are talking, where is the teacher in this? Where do they put themselves? What does the work look like that’s on the classroom walls? I think that looking to the children and teacher first will tell you the most important info you can have. Also, check out the facility: Is it safe? Is it clean? The basics are important; people have visceral reactions to different kind of spaces, and you weigh and balance it all against each other.

Messinger: Some schools have playgroup sessions to check out a child and family, and others have more formal interviews with the parents. Do parents do a lot fretting about the playgroup sessions? What should they know?

Shorofsky Mack: They should remember that we’re experienced educators and we know that what we see in the 20 minutes that we’re with them is not the full context of the child. That time is not meant to be a thorough understanding of the child, just a window for us to understand a little bit about the child for when we do class placement. They should simply follow the lead of the teachers, rather than try to prompt their kids to do something to impress us.

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follow the lead of the teachers, rather than try to prompt their kids to do something to impress us.

Messinger: And as far as the parent interviews go?

Rowe: It goes back to what we were saying before. Parents should think about what really matters to them. It’s an important time for them to ask the most important questions. Also, remember that it is an interview, so think about the manner in which you ask those questions. I think that that many parents think that what they need to do in this circumstance is to show off how powerful or impressive they are—when in truth what we really want to know is whether they love, care, and understand their child. We don’t care what your title is or where you went to school. It doesn’t matter to me if you’re the CEO of God Inc. if you can’t have an honest conversation with me about the strengths and weaknesses of your child.

Messinger: Many parents assume connections matter in the admissions process. What do you say about that?

Schulman: I think it’s a very bad presumption because it leads to more presumption. It leads to thinking, “I know someone on this school board and therefore I’m going to get in,” which may be an unrealistic expectation.

Decker: Here’s how it helps: It helps if you know someone who is known and liked at the school and who could truly speak to how you and your family would fit in there because they know you really well. When I was doing admissions, I once received a letter of recommendation from the Dalai Lama. It was a lovely letter, but it was meaningless. The better letter that really swayed us was from a kid who used to babysit the child applying.

Messinger: So when you’re at the end of the process, another question that bedevils parents is whether you should send out a first choice letter.

Levey: No. ISAAGNY says no.

Schulman: I think that the ISAAGNY piece of it is that schools should not solicit first choice letters, but parents can do what they want.

Messinger: But bring it back to the parent thinking, “I really like your school. If I don’t use the words ‘first choice,’ I feel like you’re likely to favor someone else who uses those words over me.”

“This is a conversation going on all over the country—namely whether private schools are going to price themselves out of a client base.”

Schulman: You can write those letters without using those words. Schools deal with them differently. At 92Y, I never saved those letters, I never even filed them.

Rowe: My immediate reaction if I see those words is to feel like someone is playing a game, that maybe they’re telling everyone that. So I discard them too.

Messinger: What about applying to ongoing school? What should parents expect and be thinking about? Schulman: There’s a lot more info that schools are requiring of the family about the child: interviews, test scores, school reports, etc. When you’re applying to nursery school, you have the kid and the parent, and the kid is very young. With ongoing school, it’s ultimately a much more complex decision because you know a lot more about your child’s needs.

Rowe: In some ways, it’s the opposite of what we said about early childhood and not thinking too much about who a 1-year-old is and their learning style. Now, if you’re looking at K-8 or K-12, you should definitely be thinking about that. It’s much less about the family’s relationship with the school—though that’s not immaterial. But what matters most is the learning environment and how the child would fit in. In counseling families, that’s sometimes the hardest part because a parent can get caught up in what they think is the best school…or what they think is the hot school or the most popular. And they can’t get to this idea that it should be the school where they child is going to be successful and happy.

Shorofsky Mack: I like to suggest to them to get on the table their feelings on their own elementary school education, because it will definitely effect how they look at the choices for their child.

Levey: One of the things I ask parents to do over the summer—regardless of whether the schools they’re applying to require it—is for each parent to write an essay on who their child is, because it challenges them to really think about it. Everyone thinks it’s going to be easy, but it sure isn’t.

Decker: It really helps you focus. We ask them to write two: one about the child, one about what they’re looking for in a school.

Messinger: And finally the million dollar question—by and large, if a family does their homework, does the research, follows their instincts, and applies to a decent number of schools of varying difficulty to get into, are they likely to find a spot at a nursery school or private school?

Decker: Yes, absolutely. There is a spot for everyone with reasonable expectations.


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2013 Summer Bucket LiSt

urban ArtSkip the indoor museums and check out some street art en plein air. Start with the walls of a 200,000-square-foot factory building at 5Pointz Aerosol Art Center, Inc. in Long Island City, where talented artists from all over the world gather, or head to Harlem’s Graffiti Hall of Fame, where new artists add to work dating back to the ‘80s. For an artsy day trip, Storm King Art Center in upstate New York offers over 100 sculptures across 500 acres of fields and woodlands, just a 75-minute drive away.

Hitting the BeachWe know saltwater splashing is a must during the summer, but what about conducting your own sci-ence experiment? Discover just how salty the sea is by painting some aluminum foil with oceanwater. First, color a few cups of water with food coloring, then use an eyedropper to create some splotchy de-signs. Let them sit in the sun for a few hours while you enjoy the usual beachside activities (our favorite locations for doing just that include One Pleasant Beach on the Jersey Shore, Jones Beach in Long Island, and Jacob Riis Park just a few miles away from Rockaway Beach). In a few hours, you’ll see sparkling, colored salt crystals decorating your artwork after the water’s dried.

There are only a few weeks left of vacation. Before the old school routine starts up again, make sure you cross these warm-weather NYC must-dos off your summer bucket list before it’s too late.

Picnic in central ParkNothing says quintessential NYC summer more than a picnic in the park. Make it an adventure by letting the kids help pack. In the morning, set up a Sandwich Bar in the kitchen, complete with bread, cheese, meat, and other toppings. Have everyone customize their own sandwiches, then head over for a picnic experi-ence that’s truly yours. If that’s not enough excite-ment, test how well your family knows each other’s tastes by making someone else’s sandwich instead.

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By Nadia Ramlakhan

2013 Summer Bucket LiSt11 NYc must-Dos For Families Before School Starts

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Miniature GolfLooking for some action-packed but not-too-tiring fun? Challenge yourself to a game of mini golf! Brooklyn Crab’s 18 holes feature three cornhole courts to keep you busy on the green, and Pier 25 creates a beautiful background with waterfalls and gardens surrounding its course. For something just a little educational, little putters can learn all about gravity, speed, and angles at the New York Hall of Science’s Rocket Park in Queens, home to two NASA rockets. Finally, Governors Island’s Figment 10-hole course is a summer-only, part-art installation playground that will challenge your chipping skills as well as your imagi-nation. Feel free to forget you’re still in the city—just remember to putt for a hole-in-one.

FireworksKids of all ages will appreciate the loud boom and beautiful sparks when it comes to fireworks. In case you missed it last month, Coney Island Boardwalk has a firework show every Friday at 9:30pm through August 30 and after select baseball games at MCU Park on Saturdays. Also check out Pier 16 on August 4 or Mid-land Beach on August 17 for more spectacular displays.

Getting WetWhen it’s just too hot out, a little water fun can make all the difference. Visit Hudson River Park’s Pier 51 Play-ground to cool off in the midst of gigantic water gush-ers and buckets. Or relax in the shade of an umbrella while your kids go wild at the Chelsea Waterside Park, where they can run through sprinklers and fountains. You can find more of our favorite playgrounds with water features at newyorkfamily.com, but of course any old sprinklers anywhere will do—a game of tag, freeze dance, or catch is much more fun in the water.

Flavorful FunYour favorite summertime treat just got even better—lots of popular ice cream shops debut unique season-al flavors in the summer. We recommend stopping by the famed Chinatown Ice Cream Factory for a scoop of peaches and cream or cherry pistachio, then top it off with red bean sauce or lychee. For those of you who are especially daring, Blue Marble offers sea salt caramel, banana cookie crumble, or horchata (a Latin

For More end-oF-suMMer Fun, visit the thinGs to do section oF neWYorkFaMilY.coM

drink made with rice milk and cinnamon). Otherwise, don’t forget the city’s other cult favorites like Seren-dipity, Pop Bar, Jacques Torres, and more.

outdoor MoviesNYC hosts outdoor movies almost any day of the week all summer, so you can catch a free screen-ing at your local park, rooftop, or waterside. Most screenings start at dusk, but some series also offer pre-show activities against the sunset. SummerScreen in McCarren Park offers live music before shows on Wednesdays, River Flicks For Kids at Pier 46 has PG options on Fridays, and The Intrepid Summer Movie Series offers classics like “The Karate Kid” atop the ship’s deck. For more, look up options at other pic-turesque spots like Bryant Park, Riverside Park, South Street Seaport, and Coney and Roosevelt Islands.

stargazingDespite all the city lights, you can see stars in New York! Every Tuesday, the High Line sets up high-pow-ered telescopes with on-site astronomy experts who can help you find the stars and planets. Want to learn more? Columbia Astronomy Public Outreach offers short lectures before 90 minutes of guided stargaz-ing. Of course, many of our parks and zoos also yield great views. Bring your binoculars to Brooklyn Bridge Park’s Pier 1, Prospect Park, Inwood Hill’s Park Bear Rock Meadow, and even the Bronx Zoo.

BoardwalksStill want your toes in the sand but had enough ocean water? No problem! Hit up one of the city’s many great boardwalks and create a scavenger hunt to make a day of it. At the iconic Coney Island, make sure to enjoy some Nathan’s Famous hot dogs, hop on the Cyclone Roller Coaster at Luna Park, and ride the Polar Express on 12th Street. At the newly reconstructed Rockaways, you can cross off visiting reopened concessions like Rockaway Tacos, catch-ing a surf, and maybe even writing a boardwalk haiku from your list.

BoatingWith everything from speedboats to ferries to cruises, NYC is tons of fun when experienced by water. Circle Line is known for its loud music, sharp turns, and huge splashes, but for a more relaxing view of the island, we love hopping aboard the Audubon Summer EcoCruise, which takes seafarers under famous city bridges with a bird-watching focus. Liberty Land-ing Ferry is a great alternative to crowded streets, perfect for giving Hudson-loving families a whole new perspective of the city’s west side. Want to see NYC icons like the Statue of Liberty, Brooklyn Bridge, and Empire State Building in one quick trip? A one-hour ride on the luxury yacht Zephyr floats you by all three.

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TRAVELhome&away

Just because summer is winding down doesn’t mean there isn’t time for a last-minute day trip or weekend getaway. At these eight gorgeous lakes—some just an hour away—the family can enjoy everything from swimming to boating to wine tasting on your last hurrah of the season.

Lake PLacid, NY 5.5 hours awayA classic getaway for native Manhattanites, Lake Placid is nestled among the Adirondacks’ six million acres of gorgeous green mountains in upstate New York. There, bike the tree-lined trails at Whiteface Mountain, explore the rushing waterfalls at High Falls Gorge, or see a show at the Lake Placid Center for the Arts. There’s also kayaking and rock climbing for older children, while all ages can appreciate a scenic gondola ride. Lodging options at Lake Placid include hotels, motels, bed and breakfasts, cabins, campgrounds, full-service resorts, and private rentals—so you’ll easily find comfortable lodging no matter your family’s preference. lakeplacid.com

Lake GeorGe & Lake chamPLaiN, NY 4 hours awayKnown as America’s Historic Lakes, Lake Champlain and Lake George both rest on a magical and waterlogged border of New York and Vermont. In fact, because Lake George drains into Lake Champlain on its northern end, the junction is an unrivaled spot for gorging rapids and pounding waterfalls.

At Lake Champlain, families can dive into summer favorites like kayaking, swimming, sailing, and waterskiing, but lots of hiking and biking also abound. To make it a little educational, travel back in time to the 1700s by visiting historic sites like the stony French and British war forts of Ticonderoga and Crown Point. Just a short hop away, Lake George offers lazy guided afternoons floating down the river, where you can catch a glimpse of the wildlife or simply enjoy the forest views—not to mention laser tag, go-carts, and skating at The Fun Spot and amusement park merriment at Six Flags Indoor Park. Lodging options at both lakes include house rentals, hotels, cabins, campgrounds, and luxury resorts. Have your pick. lakegeorge.com; lakechamplainregion.com

FiNGer Lakes, NY 4.5 hours awaySpreading across the center of New York State like a giant handprint, these 11 narrow, finger-shaped lakes bring a cultural and culinary edge to the typical nature experience. Each with some unique features, the lakes all offer a wide variety of water activities such as boating and swimming. But for some

By Amy Reynolds

our Great Lakes: 8 Driving-Distance Oases For An End-Of-Summer Plunge

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enrichment, make a detour to the hyper-hands-on Strong National Museum of Play, just under an hour away, or for some yummy itinerary inspiration, opt for the cheese, winery, and brewery trails. Popular hotspots: Skaneateles Lake, for quaint downtown shops, and Seneca Lake, for the acclaimed Seneca Wine Trail (where kids have tons of space to run around while adults sip vino). fingerlakes.org

Harriman State Park, nY 1 hour awayWith no less than 200 miles of hiking trails, 31 lakes and reservoirs, and three white sand beaches, Harriman State Park is ideal for getting back in touch with nature. At this second largest state park in New York State, families can rent boats for a low-key day on the water, enjoy spotting wildlife along the trails, or simply admire the amazing views of the low mountain region—all just 30 miles from the city. Simple and serene is the theme here, so leave your iPads, computers, and cellphones at home (or at least tucked away in your pocket). nysparks.com/parks/145

DeeP Creek Lake, mD 6 hours awayFor a destination that doesn’t have an ounce of that touristy feel, Deep Creek Lake, Maryland’s largest freshwater lake, is filled with rustic mountains instead of crowds and fancy resorts. The six-hour trip may be a little far for toddlers, but the abundance of activities and unparalleled peace are certainly worth it. Relax by swimming, canoeing, and fishing in the 11.6-mile-long lake—or opt for whitewater rafting for a little more adventure. Off-water thrills include mountain biking, rock climbing, laser tag, miniature golf, and much more. deepcreek.com

Lake WaLLenPauPaCk, Pa 2.5 hours awayThis manmade lake covers 5,700 acres and 13 miles in length and consists of 52 miles of uninterrupted shoreline. But don’t let the word “manmade” fool

you. This lake is the bluest of blues—a beefed up version of all things you might already love about the great outdoors. Six recreation centers aside, the area encompasses hiking, forest, and camping terrains. Families can kick it up a notch with parasailing and jet skiing, satisfy their wildlife itch with the 120-plus species of critters at Claws ’N Paws Wild Animal Park, or dive into classic games and rides at Costa’s Family Fun Park. Finish off the evening with a waterfront dinner and twilight walk around the lake. 800poconos.com

CHebaCCo Lake, ma 5 hours awayTired of overcrowded beaches and expensive parking? Escape over to Chebacco Lake, located 30 miles north of Boston. The 209-acre lake is great for swimming, boating, and year-round fishing, and because it has an irregular shape, kayaking or riding a slow pontoon are ideal boating options. Close by, the family can also delight in The Misery Islands, which provide sweeping ocean views, private beaches, and hiking trails galore. chebaccolake.org

tomaHaWk Lake, nJ 1 hour awayComplete with white sand beaches and a 20-acre lake, Tomahawk Lake is a local hotspot for those who want to pack as much as they possibly can into one weekend. Home to a family-friendly waterpark right on the lake, this 200-acre scenic getaway features an 18-hole miniature golf course, picnic areas, and souvenir shops. Older kids and parents will love the large water slides, and all ages will enjoy riding swan boats and bumper boats. The younger set can’t miss the kiddie Papoose Land, where tots under four feet tall can climb on giant turtles and frogs, ride on kiddie boats and canoes, and swim alongside giant lily pads. tomahawklake.com

For more FamiLY traveL iDeaS, viSit neWYorkFamiLY.Com

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the last word

It started almost a year ago. I was on a playdate, and one mom-friend said, “so, where are you sending trixie to preschool?”

at the time my daughter wasn’t even two. I thought, “Um…huh? Preschool is for three-year-olds, right? am I really supposed to figure that out now?”

the answer—much to my surprise and dismay—was, yes.

Now, I have a lot of mommy friends and, to be honest, I let them do most of the dirty work. When one friend went on a tour of a pristine montessori oasis on Brooklyn’s gritty third avenue, I sat back and waited for the report—that’s how I heard about every other reputable school. there was still some heavy lifting on my part though. turns out if you want to apply to preschool you have to visit the school yourself first.

First up, we went to a slightly hippie, play-based school for our tour (and by “tour” I mean “interview”). all I knew of the school, in addition to the hefty price of admission, was that each parent had to volunteer seventeen hours per semester. seventeen hours! And pay tuition! yeah. still, we gussied up and set out to wow the admissions staff.

Wow them we did not. trixie spent most of the time picking her nose, but I was the screw up. I was nervous. I talked a lot. tried too hard to be funny. at one point I even randomly blurted out, “you don’t let the kids go outside, do you?” the woman looked at me like I’d asked to bum a cigarette. like, maybe I lock my daughter in the basement—which might’ve explained why trixie was standing in the corner of the office screaming, “don’t look at me!” that’s what she does when she’s making a poop. (and who doesn’t like a little privacy when they’re pooping on a preschool interview?!)

Needless to say, we didn’t get a letter of acceptance. still, I couldn’t blame it all on the interview. like most preschools in the neighborhood

(city? country?), this particular establishment had guidelines. Checklists, forms—weeding tools, if you will. they wanted to know what we, as parents, could bring to the program. What were our family’s goals for preschool? What were our child’s strengths and weaknesses? Ultimately, they were looking for children who would “bring something” to the two’s program. so I guess we didn’t bring what they were looking for—a diaper full of sh*t wasn’t it.

another nearby school along a tree-lined block in Park slope had a pleasant, eclectic vibe. I went on the tour—sans nose-picking

daughter—and the school seemed great. except…then I started asking friends about it. one mom told me parents often begin lining up at 1am the night before registration to get a spot. and I’m talking bone-chilling February here. seriously? I mean, I’ve never even queued up for a concert, let alone preschool.

Ultimately, I decided not to worry. I skipped the midnight line and put my preschool-addled brain on hiatus. I saw the forest for the trees and realized we’d find something. a co-op, a playgroup, the preschool where they give out razorblades at snacktime—something would materialize. a few weeks later, I decided to call the school with the eclectic vibe. once I’d missed the 1am registration, why not? maybe trixie could be waitlisted. to my surprise, the program director said, “oh, sure! We still have a few spaces!” I was floored. after all those visits and interviews and applications, we managed to get into a great school.

and so, with months to spare, the preschool craze came to an end. Now it’s time to sit back, relax, and enjoy the rest of summ--

Wait, what about kindergarten...?

ALEX RICHARDS is a writer/artist living in Brooklyn with her husband, fantastic toddler, trixie, and two disinterested cats.

By Alex Richards

PresChool Procrastinationa Brooklyn mom decides to take on the dreaded Nurseryschool admissions Process Without driving herself Crazy

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