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NoTurningBack

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PolingaysishapingpotteryatFlagstaffin1957

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NoTurningBackATrueAccountOfAHopiIndianGirl'sStruggle

ToBridgeTheGapBetweenTheWorldOfHerPeopleAndTheWorldOfTheWhiteMan

byPolingaysiQoyawayma(ElizabethQ.White)

astoldtoVadaF.Carlson

THEUNIVERSITYOFNEWMEXICOPRESSALBUQUERQUE

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©1964,©1992bytheUniversityofNewMexicoPressAllrightsreserved.ManufacturedintheUnitedStatesofAmericaLibraryofCongressCatalogCardNumber64-7652InternationalStandardBookNumber0-8263-0439-7Tenthpaperboundprinting,1999

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ForewordVisitingwriters,anthropologists,archeologists,andotherfriendshaveinsistedforyearsthatitwasmydutyasanarticulateHopitotelltheworldsomethingofmyculturalbackgroundandmylongstruggletospanthegreatandterrifyingchasmbetweenmyHopiworldandtheworldofthewhiteman.

NotuntilthepublicationafewyearsagoofabookthatdefamedthecharacteroftheHopisasanation,however,wasIjoltedoutofmycomplacencyandintofullrealizationofmyresponsibility.

Hopipeopleareexceedinglysensitivetoridicule,andIamnoexceptiontothisrule.Ithasbeenaballandchain,preventingmefromexpressingmyself,especiallyalongthelineofmypainfulexperiencesasapioneerinIndianeducation,bothasastudentandasateacher.

NowIrealizethatwhitepeoplecannotknowthetruthofthesituationunlesssomeonemakesitknowntothem.IalsoknowthatagreatdealofmisinformationthatoneseesinprintisasmuchthefaultoftheHopiinformantasofthewhitewriter.InmyownexperienceIhavehadthreedifferentanswerstothesamequestionfromthreedifferentHopis.Thisisnottosaythateachwasnotconvincedthathewastellingthetruth.Itwasmerelythattheywereofdifferentagesandfromdifferentvillages,whereritualsvaried.

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Iacceptthereasoningofmywhitefriends.TheysaythatIamagoodexampleofwhattakesplacewhenapersonisuprootedandforcedtoadjusttoanewwayoflife,becauseIwasanordinaryHopichildatthetimeeducationwasbroughttousthroughthewhiteman'sschools,andbecauseIhadonlylimitedexperiencewithwhitepeople.(AsafamilywehadknownthewhiteVothfamily,whocametoourvillageofOraibiin1893,whenaccordingtomyofficiallydeterminedbirthdateIwasonlyoneyearold.)

Also,theypointout,myexperiencewastypicalofIndianchildrenofmyeraand,toalessdrasticdegree,ofIndianchildrenoftoday.TheyalsoarguethatbecauseIcontinuedintheeducationalfield,facingproblemsofbringingIndianbeginnersintoconventionalschoolprocedures,Ishouldbemorethanordinarilycapableofunderstandingtheirproblems.

Ithasbeenpainfultorecallmylong-drawn-outstruggleinliving.Manyoftheepisodes,burieddeeply,emergedslowly.However,nowthattheefforthasbeenmade,Iamgratefultomygoodfriendswhoinsistedthatthisaccountbewritten.IamespeciallygratefultoMissMarionBowen,andtomybiographer,Mrs.VadaF.Carlson,whohashadthepatienceandskilltoweldmyreminiscencesintomanuscriptform.

Mygrandmother,propheticwomanthatshewas,usedtosay:"ItistomembersofCoyoteClanthatBahana[whiteman]willcome,withinyourday,Polingaysi,orwithinthedayofyourseed,andyouofCoyoteClanwillbeabondbetweentheBahanaandtheHopipeople."IamIndianenoughathearttobelievethatherprophecyhasbeenfulfilled.

POLINGAYSIQOYAWAYMA

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OneThesmall,brown-skinnedwomaninthereddressstoppedhercarinthedesertvalleyand,gettingoutintothehotsunshineofearlyautumn,liftedblackeyestotheruinsoftheancientvillageofoldOraibi,oncemany-storiedandproud,astrongholdoftheHopiIndiannation.

Herface,broadandstrong-featuredandremarkablyunlinedinspiteofthefullnessofheryears,gavenohintoftheemotionwellingupinher.Onlyasuddenglintoftearsandtheliftingofonehandtoherconstrictedthroattoldherheartache,herindecisionandconfusion.

"Thatismyhome."

Shemurmuredthewordslovingly,hergazenotingtheunevenlinethefallingstonehousesmadeagainstthebluesky."Yes,"shethought,"inthatplaceofruinsistheevidenceofmybeginning.Myrootsarethere.Apartofmeistherestill,intheoldhomeofmyparents,inthehillhouseofmygrandmother,intheverydustthatwhispersinthestreetswhereIplayedsolongago.IsthatwhereIbelong,now?"

Asthoughstirredintoactionbytheintensityofherthought,awhirlwindformedlazilyinthesanddunesborderingthevalleyroad.Carryingitsloadofdust,itspunupwardandcameswirlinganddippingtowardher.

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Sheheldoutherhandstoit.

"Yes?Tellme,tellme,"shesaid.

Buttheeddydisintegrated,thedustreturnedtothedesertfloor.Afringeofthewhirlwindliftedherblackbangs,square-cutinHopifashionacrossherforehead.Herskirtflutteredaroundherlegs.Butifaspiritofherancestorsmovedinthewhirlwind,asHopisbelievetheydo,ithadnoanswerforher.

Withasighshegotbackintothecaranddroveontowardthenewvillagethathadgrownlikeashootfromtheruinsaboveit.

Whenshewasachildthevillageonthemesahadteemedwithactivity.Duringdayslikethissheandtheotherlittleoneswouldhavebeenroamingthetalusslopesbelowthesandstonecliffs,lookingforpotsherdsorhuntingrabbits.Nowthechildrenoftheoldvillageweredownhere,attendingschoolwiththosewholivedinthenewersettlement.

Theywereintheschoolyardwhenshepassedblack-haired,brown-skinned,bright-eyed.Shedroveonthroughthevillageandheadedthecaruphill.

Anexcitementgrewinherasshereachedthemesaandturnedoffthehighwayintothedirtroadthatledtotheancientvillage.Shewasatonceeagerandreluctanttorevisitherchildhoodhome.Whenshestoppedinthegrayclaystreetwhichwasborderedbygraystonebuildingsthatwerestilloccupieddespitetheirage,shemadenomovetoleavethecar,butsatwaiting.

Ononeofthenearbyhousetopsanoldman,arousedfromhisnapbythesoundofhercar'smotor,satup,lookeddown,thenrosestifflyandcamedownthestonestepsandacrosstheplazatowardher.Hehadalookofgreatage.Hisdarkskinwasweatheredandwrinkled.His

shabbyclothinghunglooselyabouthissmall,bonyframe.Afoldedredscarfboundhisgrayinghair.Hiseyesbrightenedwithinterestashedrewnear.This,hisglanceseemedtosay,wasnowhitetourist,intentontakingpicturesof

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him,andshoutingathimasthoughheweredeaf.Thiswasoneofhisownpeople.

Thewomaninthecarsmiledathimalmostshyly.

"Iamhappytofindyouwell,ChiefTawaquaptewa,"shesaid,speakingtohimintheHopilanguageandwiththedeferenceduethehereditarychieftainofthevillage."IamPolingaysi,ofthisvillage.Perhapsyouhaveforgottenme.Ihavebeenawayforalongtime."

"Polingaysi!Oh-ee-e!Youarethelittleonewhowantedtobeawhiteman."

Thewordswerespokenmatter-of-factlyandwithoutcensure,buttheybroughttightnesstothewoman'sthroatandsadnesstohermind.

Foramomentshecouldnotspeak.

"Ihavecomebacktovisitmyoldhome,"shesaidthen,"withyourpermission."

"Youarewelcome.Stayaslongasyoulike,"theoldchiefsaidgraciously."Ithinkyouwillfindthingsmuchchanged.Itisalongtimesinceyouwereachildhere,andsadthingshavehappened."

"Iknow."

Foramomenttheireyesmetinunderstandingandmutualcommiseration,thentheoldmansteppedasideandPolingaysigotoutofhercar.

Shewalkedbackintotheruinedsectionofthevillage,herheartcryingout:"Yes,muchhashappenedsinceIwasachild.ButIamstillachild.Alostchild.Icannotfindmyway.Whereisthepathwayofpeace?WherecanIfindtheharmonyofthetrueHopi?"

Shewalkedunerringlytothejumbleofrocksthatoncehadbeenher

homeonthemesa'swesternedge.Onesmallroomandtherehadbeensomanyofthemcrowdedintoit.Theroofhadleakedlikeasifterbasketduringeveryrainstorm.Thisspacebesidethe

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househadbeenthestorageroom.Oftenithadbeenempty,ornearlyso.

Shehadspentmuchofhertimeathergrandmother'stallhouseupthestreet.Shewalkedtowardituptheslightgrade,notingthewallsofruinsthatprojectedbelowtheruinsthathadbeeninuseduringherchildhood.

Whenthefirststonehouseswerebuiltonthismesatherehadbeennohillhere,nomoundoftumbledrocksandsandbetweenthewestsideofthemesaandtheeasternsidewherethevillagers,largeandsmall,inthetimeofherchildhoodsaidtheirmorningprayerstoFatherSunandGreatBeing.

Therehadbeenfourstoriesinhergrandmother'shouse.Firstthedarkroomoftherainpriests,nowfilledwithrubbleandwhoknewwhatwonderfulpiecesofoldpottery,thenwhathadbeencalledtheground-floorroominheryouth,thenthesecondroomforgeneraluse,andthetopmostoneforstorageandsummersleeping.Fourstories,thoughfewpeopleknewabouttheroomoftherainpriests,andsothoughtoftheplaceasthree-storied.

Polingaysiclimbedthenarrowstonestepsthatledtotheoneremainingrooftop.Theupperstoryhadbeenrazedforbuildingmaterial,orhadfallen.

Manytimesinherchildhoodshehadstoodonthisveryspot,inthecornerneartheearthenchimneypotwhosebulgingsideswereblackenedbysmokefromcookingfiresofdayslongpast.Atfirstinbabynakedness,laterinherfirstlittle''birdie''dressofblackwoolwovenbyherfather,later,afterinitiationintothemysteriesoftheKachinacult,inherone-pieceblanketdress.

Inthevanishedupperroom,thegrindingstones,thematas,hadbeenplacedsidebysidethecoarse-grainedones,thefine-grainedones.

Headcocked,smallbodystifflystill,Polingaysilistened.Couldshehearavoicesingingthecorn-grindingsong,orwasitonlyanechofromherrememberingheart?

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Oh,foraheartaspureaspollenoncornblossoms,Andforalifeassweetashoneygatheredfromtheflowers,Andbeautifulasbutterfliesinsunshine.MayIdogood,asCornhasdonegoodformypeopleThroughallthedaysthatwere.Untilmytaskisdoneandeveningfalls,Oh,MightySpirit,hearmygrindingsong.

TheoldwomanwhohadcaredforhersotenderlyduringherchildhoodlivedagaininPolingaysi'sthoughts.

Slowly,inherfancy,thetiny,short-legged,brown-bodieddesertchildshehadbeenemergedandrandownthevillagestreet,mattedblackhairblowing.Anditwasahotdayinmidsummer.

Thechildjoinedotherchildrenwhoplayedintheshadeoftherockhouses.Sheduginthesandwiththem,cuddledherownfamilyofsheep's-bonedolls,playedthegameofcomparingdesignsonpotsherddishes.Butonlyfleetingly.Alwaysrestless,thelittlePolingaysijumpedtoherfeet,brushingdirtfromherbarebottomasshesaid,"I'mhungry.Let'splay'begging-for-food.'"

Theothersgoodnaturedlyabandonedtheirplaythingstofollowher.Polingaysichoseahomewheresheknewmelonshadbeenstored.Withconfidencethegroupbegandancingastheysangthebeggingsong.

Pleasegiveussomeofyourmelons,Wearehungryandwouldliketoeatsomething.Pleasegiveussomeofyourmelonstoeat.

TheHopimothercameoutwithabasketfulofsmallmelons,gatheredforthatverypurpose,andplacedacool,colorfulmelonineachpairofoutstretchedhands.Gigglingdelightedly,thelittleonesrantotheedgeofthemesawiththeirgifts.Sittingdownon

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flatrocks,theybreathedontheirmelons,saying"Ah-n-noo-oo!"asawish,orprayer,thatthemelonstheyheldwouldbesweetandripe.AgaintheHopiwayofgivingthanksforabountifulharvesthadbeenobserved,inthissharingoffoodwiththevillagechildren.

Then,inPolingaysi'sdriftingthoughts,itwaseveningofthathotday.Whendarknessbroughtnorelieffromtheheat,thosesamechildrendancedforrain.

She,theleader,hadonlytosay,"Come.Let'sbecooled,"toobtainafollowing.

"Oh-ee,oh-ee,"theycried,trottingobedientlyafterher."Letusdanceforrain."

Waterwasscarceonthemesa.Eachdaythewomenwenttothespringbelowandcarriedbackthemeagersuppliesinwigoros,waterjugs,ofclay.ButPolingaysi'sgrandmotherlovedher.Shewouldshareherpreciouswaterunselfishly.Yes,tothelastdrop.ItwastoherhousePolingaysihurried.

Comehere,littleraindrops,Pouronus,pouronus.Anoshka-eh.Anoshka-eh.Pouronuswater.Pouronuswater.

Sothechildrensang,stamping,turning,untiltheoldsongwasfinished.Thentheylinedupwiththeirbarebackstowardthedoor,huggingthemselvesastheybentovertoreceivethedeliciouslybreathtakingshockofthecoolwaterthegrandmotherwoulddribbleoverthem.

Standingaloneontherooftop,itseemedtoPolingaysithatshecouldfeelthepresenceoftheOldOnes,andachillracedoverherinspiteof

theheat.Hermotherandhergrandmotherhadbeenquicktosenseandacknowledgethepresenceofdepartedones.

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Aliftingofmistfromthevalley,theflowingofagentlebreezeacrossthemesa,hadbeenenoughtoalertthem.Atthosetimestheywerewonttosayfondly,"Oh-ee.Yes,theyarehere.Theyarevisitingtheirhomeland."

ManytimesinherchildhoodPolingaysihadstareddownintothevalley,seekingtomakeoutthefiguresofthevisitors.Thewindwasforevermovingthesandofthedunesdownthere,uncoveringancientcookingpotsandhandstonesandarrowpoints.Herpeoplehadlivedthere,nearthecreekwhichhadbecomeadeeplyincisedwash.Alloverthevalleytheyhadlefttheirrecordofoccupancy,andonthemesaacrossthewashtherewereextensiveruinsleftbythosewhohadvanishedcenturiesbefore.

Hopipeopleclungtothepastastheyclungtotheoldwordanoshka-eh,whosemeaninghadbeenlost,butwhichstillcarriedinitsutterancesomeessenceofgoodness.

Inthistime,asinheryouth,Hopipeoplebelievedinstrangesightsandsounds.SomeofthemevenclaimedtohaveseenMasau-u,GodofDeath,makinghisroundsofthevillage.Wild,destructiveMasau-u!Likedeathitself,hecouldvisitthevillageatanytimehechose,evenduringthemonthofDecember,knowntotheHopisasKa-muyua,theQuietMoon,or,assomesay,theMoonofDrippingBlood,whentheentireearthissacred.

Polingaysi'sparentshadtaughthertoobservethisperiodofsacrednesswithrespect,lestevilbefallher.Theremustbenodiggingintotheearth,nostampinguponit,nobeatingofdrums,noloudtalking.Muyingwa,theGerminatingGod,busyundertheearth'scrust,mustnotbedisturbedinhisworkofgerminatingseedsfornextseason'scrops.

Maidensinthegrindingroomsmustnotspeaktothosewhoappeared

atthewatchingholesinthewalls,sweetheartsmustgoun-courtedbytheyoungmen,andnoonemustcuthair.Evilspiritswerethoughttobewaitingtosnatchclippingsinwhichtomaketheirnests.Shoulditbenecessarytowalkinthedarkstreets,pro-

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tectionshouldbesoughtbymakingcrossesonforeheadandthesolesofthefeetwithashes.Ifitwassuspectedthatghostswereenteringthehouses,pitchwasburnedtomakeasootyveilthroughwhichtheintruderscouldnotfindtheirway.

Duringthismonth,themenspentmuchoftheirtimedowninthewarmkivas,prayingforlonglifeastheymadefeatheredprayersticksforfuture"planting"atthevillageshrine.Thiswasawayofsayingthatalllifeisaplanting,agrowing,andaharvesting;thatprayersaretangiblethingswhenproperlyconceived,andcapableofcomingtoabundantfruitionandseedtime.

Seedsforthenextspring'splantingwerecollectedatthevillagedoorwaysandcarriedtothekivatoberituallyblessedandreverentlypresentedtoFatherSunbythepriestsbeforebeingreturnedtotheirowners.AndallduringthatnightOne-HornandTwo-Hornpriestsstoodguardoverthekiva,fornothingmustdisturbthisfertilityrite.

Polingaysiwellrememberedtheghostlywinternights,thestorytellingatthefireplace,theyearningforwarmdaysandtherelaxationoftension.

Thereweregoodtimesandbadonthemesa,andatonetimetherewasnofoodintheirstorageroom.Therehadbeenadroughtandnocropshadbeenharvested.Waterjarswereoftenemptyandthevillagespringswerealmostdry.Peopleclawedthroughrefusepileslookingforkernelsofcorntheyhaddiscardedinmoreprosperoustimes.Hungrychildrencriedthemselvestosleepatnight.

Polingaysirememberedhowsadherstrong-bodiedmotherhadbeen,andhowshehadgonedespairingtothemesa'sedgeonenighttogazeattheflat-toppedbuttecalledSoul'sRestingPlace,asthoughdesiringreliefindeathfromherhardships.Grave-facedbutresigned,shehadreturned.

"Iwilltakeadrinkofwatertoweighmedown,"shehadsighed,thenshehadstretchedoutonhersheeppeltstospendthenightbesideherhungrybrood.

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Theviolent,drivingrainstormsofsummerhadalwaysmadethebrush-and-mudroofleak.Atsuchtimesthefamilycrouchedtogetherunderwhateversheltertheroomprovided.

Oneevening,whilewaterstilldrippedfromrooftoplasteredfloor,Polingaysihadsnatchedupablanketandclutchingitaboutherthinshouldershadrunoutsidetothebakingpit.Thisprimitiveovenofflatrockswasnearthehouse.InitSevenka,Polingaysi'smother,hadbakedcorncakesforthefamilyandsomeoftheasheswerestillwarmanddry.IntothemPolingaysiwriggledherfeet,andleaningagainstthewarmrocksofthepitshelookedupwonderinglyintothenightskywherestarswerebeginningtoshine.

Itwasthenthataglimmerofhopecametoherwiththethoughtthatshecouldbetterhercondition,andthatofherfamily,whenshegrewalittlelarger.Itwas,perhaps,thefirststirringofambition.

Oncemorethewomanlookeddownatthegreatexpanseofthevalleyandatthejuttingbluebuttesthatedgedit,thenshewentbackdownthestepsofhergrandmother'shouseandaroundtotheplaza.

Thiswasthekisonvi,centerofmanyhouses,wherethepeopleofOraibihadforcenturiescarriedouttheirceremonialrituals.Inthewinter,therehadbeenthecomingofdearoldUncleSoyalforthechildrentolookforwardto.AndtherehadbeenthecolorfulBatsavu.Howbeautifulhadbeenthegreatbasketsofpalegreenbeansprouts,symbolizinganoverflowingharvest!Howimpressivetheprocessionthatcamefromthenorthintothevillage,thewatchfulguardsprancingwithwhipsintheirhandsandturtleshellsclankingontheirlegs.

Thoughtofthatceremonialbroughtupalongchainofrelatedmemories.Ofmudheadclownsawakeningthechildrenwiththeir

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morningcryandentertainingthemwithlightheartedantics.OftheKachinasdeliveringsheafsofbeansproutstobecookedandeateninanticipationoftheharvesttocome.Ofbakingdishesfullofsteamingpikami,thesweetcornpuddingwhichwasalwaysservedonceremonialoccasions.

TheequallybeautifulNimanDance,theGoingHomeDanceoftheKachinas,usuallyperformedinlateJuly,hadalsoneverfailedtofascinateher.

NotsotheSnakeDance,performedinwhatwascalledthedip-keah,orwomb,plazaatthewestsideofthevillage.Theriteofentertainingthebrothersoftheunderworldhadalwaysseemedtoheratonceprofoundlymovingandterrifying.Evennow,thinkingofdancingmenwithwrithingsnakesheldbetweentheirlipsmadeheruneasy.Shedartedquick,fearfulglancestorightandleft,asthoughshefearedthatsomebeady-eyedsnakechild,neglectedbythegatherers,staredatherwithreproachful,vengefuleyes.

Suddenly,Polingaysirealizedwhythekisonviseemedsodesertedanddesolate.Asacredshrine,thebahoki,hadalwaysheldaprominentplacehere.Nowitwasgone.Ithadbeentheheartofthevillageonthatbahokitheprayersofthepeoplehadbeenplaced.Whohaddaredremoveit?Theessenceofthepastmuststillbeclingingtothosestones,wherevertheywere.

Nowonderthevillagewaslifelessandmoulderingitshearthadbeenstolen.Howcoulditbeexpectedtosurvivewithoutaheart?LinesofsadnessetchedPolingaysi'sface.

"Theblameispartlymine,"sheconfessedtoherself."IamHopi.BecauseIamHopi,Ihaveresponsibilities.BybreakingtheculturalpatterninmyownlifeIhave,atleastindirectly,helpedtodestroyit

fortheHopipeopleasawhole.Iknownotwherethebahokihasbeentaken,butIacceptmyresponsibilityforits

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disappearance.WouldIbebetteroffhadIneverbrokenawayfrommyheritage?WouldIdodifferentlyifitwerepossibleformetolivemylifeover?"

Again,shefoundnoanswertoherquestions.

Theloveofbeautyandthedesireforfoodhadmotivatedmuchofherearlylife.Herstomachwasforeverdemandingfood.ShehadbeenespeciallyhungryoneyearwhentheNimanKachinascametoperformtheoldritualofleave-taking.Crouchedbetweenhermotherandheroldersister,shehadwatchedthemaskedmenstrideintothekisonvi,theirarmsfilledwithstalksofsweetcornfreshfromthegardens,earlymelons,androllsofredpiki.Astheyplacedthegiftsonthegroundinthecenterofthekisonvi,Polingaysisavoreditmentally.Thenewcornwouldbedelicious.Oh,butthemelon!Howsweetthejuiceofitwouldbe!Andthepikiwouldbegood,too.Itwasdifficulttodecidewhichshemostpreferred.

WhiletheKachinasdanced,andwhiletheKachinmanas,theonesdressedaswomen,maderaspingmusicwiththeirsquashshellsandnotchedsticksanddeershoulderblades,sheanticipatedthegiftoffood.Butwhenthedancingceasedandthedistributionofthegiftsbegan,suddenfearsbesether.Supposetheyhadnogiftforher.Supposeshehadtoreturnhomeempty-handed.

Sheedgedforwardalittle,hopefully.AsmallKachina,aboutthesizeofherfather,lookedherway.Hecametoher.Heheldoutamelon.Shetookitinherthinarmsandhuggedittoher,feelingitscoolness,thinkingofitssweetness,andlovingtheKachinaswithallherheart.

Forfearhermotherwouldscoldher,shesaidnothingaboutherfeelingforthesupposedlysupernaturalbeingswhowouldgohometotheirlegendaryretreatontheSanFranciscoPeaksattheendofthatday,soshehadbeentold,tostayuntilthebeginningofanewyear.

ShereasonedthatsinceherfatherwasofKachinaClan,makingherachildoftheKachinas,shewouldbewelcomed

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atthathomeoftheKachinaswheretherewouldalwaysbequantitiesoffood.BesidestherewastheMotherKachinatotakecareofher.

Shetoldnooneofherplantofollowthevisitorshomethatevening,butwhenthedanceendedatsunsetshespedawayfromtheplaza.Sheracedalongthestreettoherownhouseandclimbedbreathlesslytotheroof.TheKachinasdisappeared,singlefile,overthemesa'sedgeandPolingaysiwaitedforthemtoreappearinthevalley,whichwouldbehersignaltofollowatadiscreetdistance.

Hermotherandsistercamehome.Eveningshadowslengthened.Stillthevalleywasempty.Reluctantly,shegaveupthevigil.

NotyetinitiatedintotheKachinacult,shehadnoideathatthedancershadremovedtheirmasksandcostumes,discharmedthemselves,andenteredthevillagefromanotherdirection.Shetookitforgrantedtheyhadmadethemselvesinvisibletohumaneyes,andshewashappythattheyhadwalkedamongherpeopleforalittlewhile,inflesh-and-bloodreality.

TherhythmofthedanceandthethroatychantingoftheKachinasfilledhermind.Theyhaddancedforrain.Shelookedup;therewasnotacloudinthesky.Shepuzzledaboutthat,briefly,asshewentbackdownthestonesteps.

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TwoDuringherearlychildhood,PolingaysihadenjoyedthefeelingofsecuritythatwastheheritageoftheHopis.Hernavelcordhadbeentiedtoastirringstickandfirmlythrustintothewattledceilingtoserveforeverasthemarkerofherbirthplace.Whileshewasstillaninfant,herearshadbeenpiercedasevidencethatshewasaHopi.Shehadbeenacceptedbyhergrandparents,namedPolingaysi,ButterflySittingAmongtheFlowersintheBreeze,andpresentedtoFatherSunonthetwentiethdayofherlife,thenhonoredbythecommunity.

Shewasamemberofhermother'sCoyoteClan,andachildofherfather'sKachinaClan.Shebelonged.ShewasaHopi.

Likeotherchildrenoftheoldvillage,Polingaysispentherlittlegirlhoodplaying.Shedugholesinthemoistsand,builttinyrockhouses,huntedforbrokenbitsofpotterytouseforplaydishes.Eachspringshewentwiththemothersandchildrentogathergreens.Graduallyherbackgrewstrongenoughtocarryalittlewigoroupfromthedeepfunnelofthespringwherethewaterserpentlived.Eventuallyshebeganhelpingtocareforthesmallerchildreninherfamily.

Thewhitemancame,butshedidnotrememberthefirstoneshehadeverseen.Shewasshy,butshewasnotafraidofthem,forherfatherdidnotfearthem.HeworkedfortheMennonitemissionary,H.R.Voth,andwheneverpossiblePolingaysitagged

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alongafterherfather,oftencarryingwithheroneormoreofherflatKachinadollsmadeofcottonwoodrootandadornedwithbrightpaintandfeathers.

Sheenjoyedattendingreligiousservices,forshelovedtosing,andthemissionarieswereteachingtheHopichildrenmanysongs.KnowingnotawordofEnglish,theymouthedthestrangesyllables.

''Desolasmi,desino,''Polingaysisang.Thewordswere,"Jesuslovesme,thisIknow,"butshehadneverheardoftheGreatTeacher.

Hopiequivalentsofthestrangesyllablesaddedupto,"TheSanJuanpeoplearebringingburros,"andthissentthechildrenintogalesofgiggles.TheyagreedthewhitemanwasverysillytosingaboutSanJuanpeoplebringingburros,buttheBahanasgavethemcandyafterthesinginglessons,andthecandytastedgood.Besides,whateverthewords,Polingaysilovedtosingandtobewherethingswerehappening.

Onemorningshewastohaveherbreakfastofcorncakes,pikibread,andwaterinhergrandmother'shousebeforegoingtothemissionaries'services.SheknewitwasthedutyoftheyoungestmemberofaHopifamilytofeedthefamilygodsandshewastheyoungestpresent,butshewasinahurrytobeoffandwouldhaveneglectedthedutyhadnothergrandmotherremindedher.

Thefamilygods,acrudelycarvedlargestonethatwassupposedtorepresentamountainlion,andtwosmallercarvedstonesthatrepresentedhercubs,wereinadarkroomabovethemysteriouskivaoftherainmakers.Thekivawasnolongerused,buttheolderchildrentoldofstrangenoisesdownthere,asthoughghostsoftheoldrainpriestshauntedit.

NeverhadPolingaysibeenabletoperformhersimpledutywithoutfeelinggoosepimplesrisingonherskin,butthethoughtofthe

singing,thekindmissionaries,andthepossibletreatshelpedhertopickupapinchofsacredcornmealforFatherSunanda

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pinchofpikiflakesforthelionandhercubs,andtosidleintothedarkroom.

"Pleasedon'thurtme,"shewhisperedtothelion,hastilydroppingthepikiflakesbeforeit."FatherSunandGoodSpirit,protectme,"sheadded,tossingthecornmealintotheairbeforebackingoutoftheroomandhurryingbacktothefamily.

Theysatonthefloor.Thefoodwasbeforethem,thepikionaplaque,corncakesinanearthenpot,andtherewaswaterintowhichtheycoulddipthepiki.Theybowedtheirheads,rememberingtobegratefulforfoodmadepossiblebytherainthathadfallenandthesunshinethathadwarmedtheHopifields.

Polingaysibowedherhead,thenate.Afewminuteslater,shewaswiththeothersmallchildrenofthevillage,lustilysinging,"Desolasmi,desino."

ShedidnotknowthemissionarieswereonthemesatoteachtheHopisthesinfulnessoftheirways,toleadthemfromtheirancientbeliefsintothewhiteman'swayofworship.Shewastooyoungtohaveunderstood,hadsheknown.

Fromearliestchildhoodshehadbeentaughttopray.Gettingupatdawnandgoingtothemesa'sedgetovoiceone'sthankfulnessforlifeandallgoodwaspartoftheestablishedHopipattern.

Childrenwhostayedinbedwerereprimanded."WouldyouhaveFatherSuncarryyouonhisback?"theywerescolded.Sometimescoldwaterwasdousedonthem.Sometimesamaternalunclewouldbesenttorousethemfromtheirwarmbeds.

"Comenow!Iamyouruncle,andhavetherighttopunishyou.Getupatonce,"hewouldsay,andsleepy-eyedandashamed,theywouldobey.

ThosewerethedaysofthehereditaryBearClanchieftain,Lololoma.Oftenhewouldbesittingonthemesa'sedge,wrappedinhisblanket,prayingwithhisfaceturnedeastwardlongbeforetheotherscamestragglingouttojoinhim.

"Whydoeshealwayssitthere?"Polingaysiaskedhermother.

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Sevenkatriedtoexplain.

"Heisresponsibleforthewell-beingofourvillage,andmustmakeadailypathwayforus,hispeople,throughprayer.Hecallsushischildren.Wecallhimourfather.Hepraysforlonglife,purity,abundantcrops,forallofuswholiveinOraibi.Hepraysforrain.Hepraysfortheessenceofgoodintheplantsweuse,andintheclaywedigandcrushforourpotterymaking,andintherockswepileoneontopoftheotherinhousebuilding.

"YourfatherandIareresponsibleforthewell-beingofourownhomeandourchildren.Itisourdutytoseetoitthatourchildrenhaveaplacetoliveandfoodtonourishtheirbodies.ItisLololoma'sdutytoseetoitthatweareallfedspiritually.Thatiswhyhepraysinthemornings,andagainintheevenings.Heisthefatherofourspiritualhome."

Polingaysicouldnotrememberatimewhenshehadnotmadehermorningprayer,goingwithmother,cousins,andauntstothemesa'sedge.First,toridthemselvesofevilsaccumulatedduringthepasttwenty-fourhours,theyturnedandspatovertheirshoulders;thencleansedandreadytofacethenewday,theybreathedonthecornmealintheirhandstheirsupplicationsforlonglifeandgoodhealthbeforereleasingthemealintothespiritworldbytossingitoutward,towardtherisingsun.

Asthefirstwarmingraysofthesunslidoverthehorizon,touchingthemwithgoldenfingers,theyreachedout,symbolicallydrawingthebeamstothemandpressingthemtotheirbodies,meanwhileinhalingdeeplyandprayingthattheymightbemadebeautifulinbody,face,andheart.Clothedinthearmorofallgoodandallbeauty,andprotectedfromevil,theywerestrengthenedtomeetthedayanditsproblems.

ItwouldhaveshockedPolingaysi,asitshockedherparentsandotherHopis,hadshebeenoldenoughtounderstandthatthemissionariesconsideredthemwickedandunsaved.TheirreligionwasnotaSundayaffair;itwasadaily,hourly,constantcom-

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munionwiththeSource,theCreatorfromwhomcameallthingsthatwere,largeorsmall,animateorinanimate,thepowerbehindCloudPeople,RainPeople,theKachinas,andalltheotherforcesrecognizedandrespectedbytheHopipeople.ButatthattimethelittlegirlmixedreligionsasconfidentlyasshemixedHopiparchedcornandtheBahana'shardcandy.

H.R.Voth,theMennonitemissionary,hadbuiltahomeforhisfamilyonthefarsideofOraibiWash,inthevalleybelowOraibi,anancientcitysaidtohavebeenconstantlyoccupiedsinceabout1120.Polingaysi'sfather,calledFreddiebyMr.Voth,becausehisname,Qoyawayma,wastoodifficultforEnglish-speakingtongues,madethetriptoandfromtheVothhomedaily.Hetrotteddownthesteepmesatraileachmorningandbackeachevening,andforhislaborsmadeasalaryoffiftycentsperday.

Itseemednottoexcitehimwhenotherwhitemen,bringingwagonloadsofbuildingmaterials,begantheerectionofabuildingontheslopeatthefootofthemesa.Theywerebuildingaschoolhouse,butthewordmeantnothingtothechildrenofthemesaandtheirparents.Theyknewnothingofwhiteman'swaysandhadneverbeeninsideaschoolhouse.

Sincenothinghadbeensaidtoexciteherfear,Polingaysiwentaboutherplayunalarmeduntilamorningwhenhermother,whosevoicewascustomarilylowandcalm,calledouttoherinagonizedsyllables.

"Polingaysi!Come!Comequickly!"

Frightened,Polingaysigathereduptheyoungerbrothershehadbeenpullingonhershoulderblanketandranhomewithhim.HegurgledwithgleeatthebouncingrideshegavehimandcriedwhentheirmotherrantomeetthemandsnatchedhimfromPolingaysiroughly,saying,"Liedownbehindthatrollofbedding,Polingaysi.Iwillhide

youwithasheeppelt.Hurry."

"Why?"Polingaysiaskedinchildishbewilderment.

"Doasyou'retold!"hermothersnapped."Bahanaiscatching

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childrenthismorning,fortheschool.Sisterishidingatgrandmother'shouse."

"Catchingchildren!"Whatafearful-soundingphrase.ItmadePolingaysithinkoftheolderboyscatchingrabbitsinsnares.Withoutargumentshedartedacrosstheroomandflattenedherselfbehindtherolled-upsheeppeltsandblankets.Hermothercoveredherandreturnedtothedoorway.

Polingaysicouldhearhersickbrotherwhimperingonhispalletbesidethefireplace,thensheheardastrangevoice,speakingalanguageshedidnotunderstand.Whenthemothermadenoanswer,anothermanbegantalking,thistimeinnotverygoodHopi.

"Hesays,tellyouwearegoingtotakeyourchildrentoschool.Wherearethey?"

"ThatsickboyisallIhave,exceptforthebabies,"Polingaysi'smotherlied."Heistoosicktogoawayfromhome."

Therewasmoretalkintheforeignlanguage,thentheinterpretersaid,inHopi:"Bahanasaystheboydoesn'tlooksick.We'lltakehim.Come!"

Polingaysi'ssickbrotherweptaloud,buthestruggledtohisfeetandwentwiththemen.

Almostsmotheredbythetimehermotherremovedtheheavypelt,Polingaysibeganatoncetobeghermothernottoletthemencatchher.

"Iftheytakeyou,theytakeyou,"hermothersaid,herusuallygentlevoiceharshinherangryhelplessness."Whatcanwedo?TheBahanadoesnotcarehowwefeeltowardourchildren.Theythinktheyknoweverythingandweknownothing.Theythinkonlyofthemselvesandwhattheywant.Idon'tknowwhattheyaregoingtodotoour

children,downthereinthatbighouse.ItisnottheHopiwayofcaringforchildren,thistearingthemfromtheirhomesandtheirmothers."

Allthatdaythevillagehummedwithresentmentandfear.

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Thechildrenwhohadescapedtheschoolauthoritiessidledoutoftheirhidingplacesonlytohuddletogetherandrunatthefirsthintofdanger.

TheBahana,unabletospeakHopi,hadbroughtwithhimNavajopolicemen,carryinggunsandclubs,andtheNavajosterrifiedtheHopichildren.

The"Foreheads,"astheNavajoswerecalledbytheHopichildrenbecausetheybrushedtheirhairstraightbackandapparentlyscornedbangssuchastheHopiwore,weretraditionalenemiesoftheHopipeople.HopifarmershadsufferedmanyaNavajoraid,andhadlosttheirripepeaches,theirnewcornandmelons,totheraiders.Occasionallyaprettygirlwascarriedoff.Smallwondertheyentertainednoaffectionforthetall,thin-facedNavajos,sodifferentfromthepeaceful,farmingHopis.

Intheirplay,HopichildrenofthatdayoftenactedoutNavajoraids.Usuallythisplay-actingtookplaceinlatesummer,afteraheavyrain,whenallthepotholesintheredrockofthemesawerepoolsofrainwater.Thepotholesmadeexcellentswimmingpools.

Thiswasthetimeofripeningpeaches,whichtheNavajoraidersliked,sotheHopiyoungsterswouldtossafewpeachesintoapool,thosewhoweretoplaythepartofNavajoswoulddaubthemselveswithmudandslicktheirbangsbackfromtheirforeheads,thenhidebehindthenearestrockorbush,whilethe"Hopis"gotintothepoolwiththepeaches.

Atthefirstsightofa"Forehead"sneakingtowardtheirpoolandtheirpeaches,the"Hopis"wouldsetupashrillwarning.

"Foreheads!Foreheads!"theywouldshriek."They'vecometostealourpeaches."

Thiswasthesignal.The"Foreheads"wouldrushthe"Hopis,"snatchingpeachesifpossible.Whena''Forehead''wascaught,hehadonlytoduckunderwaterandsweephisbangsbackintoplacetobecomea"Hopi,"whereuponhecouldchangesidesinthegame.

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Becauseoftheirlongenmity,theHopipeoplefeltbothhurtandinsultedthatthewhitemanshouldenlisttheaidofNavajosinforcingattendanceatthenewschool.

Polingaysi'sfatherhadknownwhattheBahanaswereplanning,butsincehehadnoanswersforthemanyquestionsheknewhispeoplewouldask,hehadkeptsilent.Actually,hedidnotknowwhat"school"meant,andhehadnoinklingofwhatitwoulddoforhispeople.

Inspiteofhispleasantassociationwiththewhitemissionary,Voth,andthered-faced,white-bristledGovernmentmanattheschool,Polingaysi'ssmallHopifatherwasamemberoftheconservativebranchoftheHopivillageandaseagerastheytoretaintheancientcultureofhispeople.Itwastheso-calledprogressivegroupthathadconsentedtoadoptionofwhiteman'sways.

"WhenaHopibecomesawhiteman,"theconservativessaid,meaning,ofcourse,whentheIndianiswillingtotakeonanoverlayofwhiteculture,"henolongerhasaface.WewanttobeHopis,notwhitemen.WewantourchildrentolearnHopiwaysandlivebythem."

ButthewhiteauthoritieshadpersuadedLololoma,chiefoftheBearClan,tosanctiontheirplansforhispeople.Hehad,ashispeoplesaid,"takenthepencil."Bymakinghismarkwithit,hecommittedthechildrenofOraibitoattendanceatthenewGovernmentschool.Hehadgivenhispromisethattheywouldattend.

Theconservativesflatlyrefusedtofollowhislead.Intheolddaystherewouldhavebeenopenwar,aclashthatwouldhaveresolvedtheissue,buttimeshadchanged.Warfarewouldhavebroughtwhitesoldiers.Soonlystubbornresistanceensued,withangersmolderingintheheartsofbothfactionsangerwhichwouldeventuallyleadtoa

woundfromwhichOraibiwouldneverrecover.

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Theconservativeswereangry,andtheywereafraid.Noonetookthetroubletotalkwiththemcalmly,explainingwhatwasplannedfortheirchildrenandthattheywerenotbeingjailed.Or,ifsomeonetried,perhapsthelanguagebarrierprovedinsurmountable.

Unfortunateincidentsmadethosefirstdaysofrecruitingstudentsmuchworsethantheyshouldhavebeen.Amaidenwasforciblytakenfromthehomeofherhusband'smotherbeforeherweddingriteshadbeencompleted.Shehadrefusedtoremoveherweddinggarmentsforthegarmentofticking,calledaMotherHubbard,whichwastheschooluniform,andhadweptsteadilyuntilMr.Vothconvincedtheschoolauthoritiessheshouldbeexempted.

Polingaysi'soldersisterhadescapedbyhidinginhergrandmother'shouse,andsheandPolingaysihadorderstoruntothegrandmotherifthepolicecameagain.

ForthefirsttimePolingaysiturnedherthoughtstowardtheinvadingschoolauthorities.Aquick-moving,intelligentlittlegirl,shecouldnotacceptthesituationwithashrug,assomeofherplaymatesdid.Shewasstirred.Shedidn'tunderstandwhatwasgoingon,butshewasintenselyinterestedinit.

Why,shepondered,hersmoothbrowperplexed,shouldthechildrenbeconfinedalldaytothatbighousebelowthemesa?Theyweren'thurt.Theycamebackupthemesatrailintheevening,talkingandlaughing,evensinging,afterbeinglockedupallday.Evenhersickbrotherseemednonetheworseforspendingafewdaysthere,thoughhenolongerhadtoattendschool,butwasbackonhispallet,feverishandcoughing.

TheNavajopolicestillpatrolledthemesa,butshehadbeencleverinhiding.Shewonderedifperhapsitmightbebettertoallowherselftobecaughtandhavetheworryover.Itwasanirritatingthingtohaveto

beonguardeveryminute,peering

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aroundcornersbeforewalkingdownthestreetsofone'sownvillage,afraidtobeoneself,theoldselfthathadbeenasfreeandunhamperedasthewanderingwind.

Theconservativefactionhaddevisedaschemewherebythestilluncaughtchildrenwerewarnedtorunforcoveratthesoundofacertainhigh-pitched,prolongedcall.Polingaysihearditonedaywhenshewasplayingonthehillnearhergrandmother'shouse.Forgettingherthoughtsofcapitulation,shefledfromtheapproachingdanger.

"Hideme!Hideme!"shescreamed,dashingintohergrandmother'shouseonlyafewstepsaheadofhersisterandtwoothervillagegirlswhohadthusfarevadedtheauthorities."TheBahanacomes."

"Sh-h!"hergrandmotherscolded,takingherbythehandandleadinghertowardthehidingroom."AreyouforgettinghowtobehavelikeaHopi?Bequiet.Youaresafehere."

Themountainlionandhercubscrouchedbesidethebigpikiplaquewhichthegrandmotherquicklyremovedfromtheloosefloorstoneitcovered.Polingaysishudderedandhungbackastheoldwomantookherarm.Shehadneverbeforebeenintheoldkivaoftherainmakers.Itwasblackdownthere,andmustysmellssmoteherflarednostrils.Thenshefeltthedirtfloorbeneathherfeetandhergrandmotherreleasedherarm.Aspiderwebbrushedhernose,makingherwanttosneeze.

Sheheard,ratherthansaw,theothergirlsletthemselvesdownintothedarkness,butsaidnothingtothem.Thegrandmotherreplacedthestone.Graduallyhereyesadjustedtothedarkness.Atinyrayoflightfromtheairshaftrevealedtheothergirls,huddledinsilence.MomentarilyPolingaysiexpectedtohearascuffleoverhead,thesoundofgruffvoices,andremovalofthefloorstone.Tremblingviolently,sheimaginedhowhorribleitwouldbetobepulled

screamingoutofthisblacknessandcarriedofftoimprisonmentintheschool.Butnoscuffletookplace.Nosoundofvoices

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reachedthem.Eventuallythegrandmotherremovedthestoneandhelpedthemout.

Thegrandmotherwasangry.Herblackeyeswerehotwithhatredandherthinlipswerecompressed.

"Theydaredcomeintomyhouse,"shemuttered."ThoseNavajos!TheypushedmeasidewhenItriedtokeepthemout.AndthatfatBahana.Theonewithwhitehairssproutingfromhisredface.Hewatchedthemandsaidnothing.Ithinkhehopedtheywouldhitme."Shebreathedhardforamoment,whilethegirlsbrusheddirtfromtheirblanketdresses."Theyaregone,buttheywillcomeback.Intimetheywillcatchyou."

TheverynextdayPolingaysi'ssisterandherfriendsweretrappedonthetalusslopesouthofthevillageandtakentoschool.

Polingaysipretendedshefeltnointerestinthestripedcottondresshersisterworehomethatafternoon,butshewasalivewithcuriosity.Itlookedcleanandpretty.Howdiditfeel?Wasitwarm,liketheirblanketdresses?

Pretendingunconcernathome,shewenttothehomeofoneofherplaymatesandaskedaboutthenewgarment.

"Willyouletmetryiton?"

Theothergirlwaswilling.Theyranbehindthehouse.OffcamePolingaysi'sonegarment.Offcamethetickingdress.OnoverPolingaysi'sblackheaditwent.Theothergirlwastaller.HerdresscametoPolingaysi'sankles.Shefeltgrownupinit.Sheranherhandsoverthesmoothmaterialapprovingly.Itwasnotharsh,likeherhome-wovenwoolblanketdress.

"Ilikeit,"shesaid,takingitoffandreturningit."Tellme,dotheBahanashurtyou,downthereinthatbighouse?"

"No,"herfriendsaid,withashakeofherhead."Theydon'tdoanythingtous.Wesitonaseatandmakemarks.Weplayintheschoolyard.WhenFatherSunisoverhead,theygiveusfood."

"Food?Whatkind?"Polingaysiasked,forthiswasoneofherfavoritesubjects."Nu-qui-vi?Piki?Som-ev-i-ki?"

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Theothergirlshookherhead."Bahanafood,"shesaid."Idon'tknowitsname."

ThenextdayitseemedtoPolingaysithatallthechildrenexceptherselfhadgonetoschool.Shewaslonely.Noneofhergamesheldherinterest.Thesimple,ordinarypursuitshadlosttheirtang.Herthoughtsweredownbelow,attheschool.

"Iamnothappy,"sheadmitted."Iamlonely."

Casually,sheworkedherwayslowlyacrossthemesafromherownhomeandsatdownonarock,lettinghershortlegsdangle.Shecouldhearthechildrencallingtoeachotherastheyplayedintheschoolyard.Theysoundedhappy.

Shedidnothavehermother'spermissiontogodownthetrail,butdownthetrailshewent,dodgingbehindrocksandbusheswhenshemetvillagerscomingupthetrail,thensaunteringon,nearerandnearertheschoolhouse.

Atnoon,whenthechildrencameoutoftheschoolhouseagain,shewasplayingbesideanearbyboulder.Twoofherfriendssawherandcamerunningtoher.Shyasalittledesertanimal,shehidfromthematfirst.Thoughshecouldnolongerendurebeingleftinthebackwashofallthisexcitement,sheknewtheenormityofheraction.Noonehadforcedhertodothisthing.Shehadcomedownthetrailofherownfreewill.Ifshewentintothatschoolhouse,itwouldbebecauseshedesiredtodoso.Hermotherwouldbeveryangrywithher.

Whensheyieldedtoherdesiretobewithherfriendsandtosavorthenewexperienceatthecostoflosingherfreedom,theothergirlstookherhands,andbetweenthem,pullingbackonlyslightly,shewenttotheschoolhouse.

Abellrang.Thechildrenlinedupandmarchedpastthekitchenwhereeachwasgivenasaucerofsyrup,apieceofhardtack,andatincupofwater.Aftertheyhadeaten,thebellrangagainandtheylineduptomarchintotheschoolhouse.The

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whitemanwiththeredfaceandthewhitewhiskersstoodbesidethedoor,hairyhandsonhiships.Polingaysitriedtosidlepasthim,buthestoppedher.HerheartpoundedlikeaHopidrumashesaidsomethingtoaHopigirl,severalyearsolder.

"Hesaystotakeyouandcleanyouup,"theoldergirlsaid,takingPolingaysi'shandandleadingheraway.TherewasabigtubintheroomtowhichPolingaysiwastaken.Theoldergirlpouredwaterintoit,instructingPolingaysitoundress.Shehelpedherintothetub,soapedhergenerously,scrubbedherfromheadtotoes,thenrinsedanddriedherbody.AsPolingaysihadhoped,thegirlthengaveheroneofthetickingdressesandrolledherblanketdress,tyingitwiththewovensash.

"Now,gotoschool,"shesaidwhenPolingaysihadstruggledintothestrangegarment."They'lltellyouwhattodo."

Theteachermusthavebeenwaitingforher.Asshehesitatedatthedoor,hecameover,tookherbythearm,andwalkedherrapidlytoadeskwheretwootherlittlegirlsweresitting.Heshovedherinbesidethemandpushedapencilandapieceofpaperinfrontofher.Hewasathin,sour-facedyoungmanwithcold,unsympatheticeyes.Shecouldnotunderstandwhathesaidtoherbeforeheturnedaway.

Oneoftheothergirlswhisperedtoher,"Makemarksliketheoneshemakes."

Themarkstheteachermadeontheblackboardspelled"cat,"butPolingaysididnotknowit.Shecopiedthemasbestshecould,fillingherpaperonbothsides.

Climbingthetrailwiththeotherchildrenafterschool,shebegantohavemisgivings.Whatwouldhermothersay?ShehadnodoubtwonderedwherePolingaysihadgoneandworriedabouther.Onthemesaoncemore,Polingaysitookaroundaboutwayhome,dragging

herbarefeettoprolongthepainfulmomentofconfession.Heroldersisterreachedhomelongbeforeshedid.

WhenPolingaysisteppedintothedoorway,fourpairsofeyes

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methers:hersickbrother's,sadandreproachful;heroldersister'swidewithexcitement;hermother'ssorrowful;andthebabybrother's,warmandloving.

Hermotherspoke.

"Whotookyoutoschool?Ilookedeverywhereforyou.TheBahanahasnotbeeninthevillagealldaylong."

Polingaysihungherhead,therolledblanketdressclutchedtoherbosom.

"Itookmyself."

"So!Youself-willed,naughtygirl!Youhavetakenastepinthewrongdirection.AstepawayfromyourHopipeople.Youhavebroughtgrieftous.Tome,toyourfather,andtoyourgrandparents.Nowyoumustcontinuetogotoschooleachday.Youhavebroughtthisthinguponyourself,andthereisnoturningback."

SheturnedhergazeawayfromPolingaysi,emphasizingthefinalityofherwords.Agreatsadnessseizedthelittlegirlinthedoorway.Shehadbeencondemnedforcommittingherselftoanewwayoflife.Tearsrushedintoherblackeyesandspilledover.Shedroppedherrolled-upbundleandrantothemesa'sedgetoshedherrepentanttearsinsolitude.

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ThreeRichinlife,color,andemotion,theHopiwayhadbeenastrongbutinvisibleweb,holdingthepeopletogether.Throughtheirritualdances,throughtheirsongsthathadbeenhandeddownfromgenerationtogeneration,theywereabletoexpressthemselves.

Inallthings,greatandsmall,thetrueHopisawtheforcesofcreationinoperation.Thisspiritualunderstandinggaveasenseofdepthanddignitytotheirfrugalandoftendifficulteverydayexistence,asdidtheunfeignedrespectoftheyoungpeopleforthewisdomoftheirelders,andthedevotionoftheeldersinprovidingthechildrenwithmentalandspiritualilluminationaswellasphysicalsustenance.

Theschoolwasaforeigninfluence,somethingthatstoodagainsttheHopiwayoflife.Ka-Hopi.Notgood.Howcouldonecopewiththeseloud-voiced,domineeringBahanas?

Accustomedtoobeyingtheirparents'low-voicedinstructions,themajorityoftheHopichildrenweremeekwiththewhiteteachersandposednodisciplinaryproblems.However,someoftheboys,keenlyawareoftheseethingresentmentoftheireldersanddisturbedbyit,becameabitunruly.Retaliationwasprompt.Afewofthemwerebooted,otherswereslappedintheface.

EvenonesuchcasewasenoughtoarousetheireofHopiparents,whodonotbelieveinwhippingexceptrituallybytheproperper-

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sonsandattheprescribedtime.Duringinitiationinthekiva,withthechild'sgodfatherpresenttoshareinthechastisementasevidenceofadultresponsibility,whippingwaspermissible,evendesirable.Buttobechastisedpublicly,intheschool,wasadisgracetochildandparentsalike.

Polingaysirememberedvividlythepunishmentofoneofherfriends.Becausethegirldidnotstoptalkingatoncewhentoldtodoso,shewasplacedontopofthebig-belliedstove,unheatedatthetime,ofcourse,andaneraserwasshovedintohermouth.Shesatthere,stiffwithfright,headbentinshameandsalivadripping,untiltheteacher'ssadisticappetitehadbeensatiated.

Polingaysiwastooyoungtounderstandallthatwentonthatfirstyearinschool,butshedevelopedadeepcaution,becomingsuspiciousofthemotivesoftheschoolpersonnelandofwhitepeopleingeneral,howeverkindly.

"Hak-kim-poo-ma-ah!"theHopisays,meaning,"IknowwhattheyseemtobebutIdonotknowwhattheyareinside."

OnedayPolingaysicamehomewithacardboardhungaroundherneckonastring.Letteredonitwashernewname:Bessie.HersisterDuvangyamsi'snewnamewasAnna.Thechangeofnamewasmerelyonemoreevidencetothegirls'motherandgrandmothersthatthewhitemanwasunfeeling.

"YouhadyourbeginningasatrueHopi,"Polingaysi'smothertoldher,fingeringthecardboard."YouwerenamedintheHopiway.YourtruenameisPolingaysi.Thatwillalwaysbeyourtruename."

"Itookyou,newlyborn,"Polingaysi'spaternalgrandmotherchimedin."Iheldyourwarmbodyagainstmybaredlegs.IpresentedyouwithyourfirstMotherCorn.Ipiercedyourlittleears.FortwentydaysIcaredforyou,observingthetraditionalmannerofcaringfora

newbornchild.Yourtruehomeisthehouseinwhichyouwereborn.Yournavelcordwastiedtoastirringstickandthrustintothewattledceilingofthatroomwhereyou

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emergedfromthedarknessofyourmother'swombintothewarmdarkofyourfirstouterhome.Thatiswhereyourrootsare.Yourbeginning.ItwasIwhonamedyouPolingaysi.Itisabeautifulname.Itfitsyouwell.YourareadaughteroftheKachinas,asanyHopiwillknowbyyourname.Thissillynamethewhitemanhasgivenyoumeansnothing.''

Solemninthefaceofthispassionateoutburst,Polingaysilookedfondlyintothegrandmother'swrinkledface.

''IamPolingaysi,"shedeclared."IwillalwaysbePolingaysi.ButwhentheBahanacallsmeBessie,IwillpretendIhaveforgottenmyownname."

Still,itwasnoteasytomakeoneselfoverbygovernmentedict.Itwasmuchsimplertogrow,stepbyestablishedstep,withinthepatternofHopilife.

Shestillworeherstraightblackhairlooseabouthershoulders,thebangssquare-cutacrossherforehead.Whenshehadmoreyears,likeAnna,shewouldreceivethebe-lon-so-mi,ormaidenbud,hairdress.Herparentalgrandmotherwouldwindthelooselocksintothetightbudsateachsideofherheadandbindthemwithalengthofhaircord,madefromfamilycuttings.

Soshethought,notknowingthatshewasdestinednottowearthetraditionalhairdress;themaidenbudswouldnotbeforher,norwouldshe,lateron,wearthegreatwhorlsofthepoliene,aswouldotherHopigirlsofmarriageableage.

ProgresswasrollingacrosstheHopimesasasrelentlesslyasthewhiteman'swagonwheels.TheHopishadnodefenseagainstit,exceptridiculeandaspiritedscorn.OntheschoolgroundsthechildrenwereforbiddentospeaktheHopilanguageortocalleachotherbytheirHopinames,butonthewayhome,toshowtheircontemptforthe

rules,theydelightedincallingoutnamesintheHopiway.

ConfusingthesituationevenmorehopelesslywasthefactthatthemissionariesweredoingtheirbesttoconvincetheHopisof

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theutterfollyandabysmalsinfulnessoftheirancientbeliefs.Forcenturies,religionhaddeterminedtheentirestructureofHopilife.Tothem,lifewasaconstantprayertotheCreator,theGreatSpirit.Notjustonedayaweek,buteveryday,wasadayofprayertotheHopi.Theycouldnotbechangedovernight.

Theoldpeoplewerefrightened."Howcanweweavebeautyintoourceremonialkiltsandsashesifwearehugginghatredtoourhearts?"themenaskedeachother."Hatredmakesyouverywarminside,butGoodBeingdoesn'thelpyouwhenyouarewarmlikethat.Whenyouarguewiththewhiteman,youjustgettheworstofit.Wearenottwo-hearts.Wemustmakeourselvesendurethisthingthatishappening.Wemustgivein.Wemustletthewhitemanlearnhismistakesinhisownway."

Motherstoldtheirchildren,"WemustnotallowthebadbehavioroftheBahanatocauseustoactinthesamemanner.Wemusttrynottothinkbadthoughts,becausebadthoughtsarelikejabbingatthethought-of-onewithaknife.Hecan'tseewhatyouaredoingtohim,butyouknow,andkillingsomeoneinyourthoughtswillletevilspiritsintoyou.Wemustbepeacefulandunresisting.Otherwise,howcanwebepure-heartedenoughtoofferourprayerstoCloudPeopleandtheRainGods?AndifwedonotofferprayersandRainGodsforgetus,thensurelyweshallstarve."

ThethoughtofstarvationinthevillageterrifiedPolingaysi,whohadheardmanystoriesoffaminethoughshehadnotseenthehunger-facesofwhichtheoldonesspoke.Itwasbadenoughtohavehadshortperiodsofhunger,butnofoodatall?Whatcouldbeworse?

Themostwonderfulofallthingswasfood,quantitiesoffood,suchassheandherfamilyenjoyedafterbutcheringasheep.Everyedibleportionoftheanimalthatcouldnotbedriedandstoredwascookedandeaten.Theliver,heart,kidneys,brains,cleansed

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intestinesandstomachliningsonthesethechildrenwereallowedtogorgeuntiltheirstomachswerestretched.

Withanewobjective,Polingaysiwenttothemesa'sedgeforprayers.Inthepinklightofnewdayshesearchedherheartforbadthingsshehaddone,admittedthemtoherself,thenspatthemoutsymbolically,overhershoulder,westward.Thenfacingthesunwithacleanheart,shecouldfeeluplifted.Lifewasbeautiful,andshewouldbebeautiful.

Shehadwatchedtheoldmenmeditatingontherooftops,wrappedintheirblankets.Shehadseenthemcasttheblanketsasideasthesunrose,hadseenthemriseandreachouttothesun'sraysandpressthatoutpouringofenergytotheirbodies.Hermotherhadtoldhertheywereprayingforhealthandwisdom,soshetooprayedforhealthandwisdom,bringingthesun'sraystoherwithpassionandbathingherselfinthemwithslowstrokingsofherbrownhandsandcompletefaithintheirefficacy.AgainsttheinvadingwhitemantheHopishadnootherdefense.Prayer,prayeralone,wastheirrefuge.

Yet,intheirhourofstress,theHopisforgottheirowntenets.Theyhadbeenwarnedsinceinfancyagainstbitterthoughts.TheyhadbeentoldrepeatedlythatrevengewasnotfortheHopi,yetfriction,smolderingbutintense,wasdevelopingbetweenChiefLololomaandYeokeoma,leaderoftheSpiderClan.

ItwasintheSpiderClankivathatPolingaysi'sfatherfirstbecameawareofthedangeroussituation.YeokeomacouldnottalkofthewhitemanandtheBearClan'sacceptanceofhimwithoutanger.Lololoma,by"takingthepencil,"hadbetrayedtheHopis,Yeokeomacharged.HewouldleadthemdownthewagonroadoftheBahana.Tofollowhimwithoutprotestwouldbetobecomeslaves.Yeokeomawantednocompromisewithwhiteways.HewantedtocontinueintheoldwayoftheHopi,withnodeviationsuchasschooling.Hepredicted,andthewordspreadrapidly,that

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therewouldbeatimewhentheissuebetweenhimselfandLololoma'sfollowerswouldcometoahead.

"Whenthattimecomes,"hesaid,"thosewhowishtofollowmewilltraveltheoldtrailsofourpeople.Ifwearedefeated,wemustleaveOraibi.Wewillgofarnorthtoourancestralvillage,nowinruins,andlivethere."

ConcedingthatLololomawasaweakling,lessresentfulmenremindedYeokeomaofthemanygoodthingsLololomawaspromisedbytheGreatWhiteFatherinWashington.Forinstance,HopisweretobeprotectedbythemilitaryfromNavajoandUteraids,anditwasnotLololoma'sfaultthattheHopishadnotyetreceivedthewagons,stoves,andothergoodthingspromisedinreturnforhiscooperationinthematterofsendingthechildrenofthevillagetoschool.

Itbecameincreasinglyapparentasthedaysrolledbythattwosuchstrongideascouldnotprevailinonesmallvillage.Achangewascoming,thoughtherewasnotellingjustwhenitwouldtakeplace,norhow."Willwebeexpectedtokillthosewhoopposeus?"oneHopiaskedtheSpiderClanman."IhavemanyrelativesamongBearClan."

Yeokeomastoodup,Polingaysi'sfatherlatertoldher,andtheexpressioninhiseyeswasthatofamanwhoknowshistimeoftrialisnotfardistant."Letthisbeunderstood,"hesaid."Nobloodmustbeshed."

Outwardly,lifewentonasusual.ButtheveryelderlyHopis,theirownwayoflifeunchanged,noticedthelittlechangesofthoughtandmannerthatweretakingplaceamongthechildrenandyoungfolk.

Onedaythevillagershadbeencalledtothekisonvibythevillagecriertohearalong,seriouspronouncementbythewarriorchief,secondincommandinthevillageandastaunchfriendoftheagingchief.Whenitwasfinished,Polingaysi'sgrandmother

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begantoweepsoftly,thetearsrunningdownherwrinkledcheeksunheeded.

"Grandmother,whydoyouwaterthesandwithyourtears?"Polingaysiasked."WhatdidWarriorChiefsay,thatyoushouldbesosad?"

Theoldladyslowlydriedhertearsontheedgeofherblanketand,afteratimeofthought,spoke.

"ItwasnotwhatWarriorChiefsaidthatmademeweep.ItwaswhatIsawthereatthecenterofmanyhouses.Thingsarenotastheyusedtobe.WarriorChiefspokeinbehalfofLololoma,andperhapsitistruethatLololomacouldnotpreventthefatethathasbefallenus.Foralong,longtimewhitemenhavebeentryingtogetafootholdhereinHopiland.TheSpanishcame.Wedrovethemaway.Theycameagainandwedrovethemaway.Butthereseemstobenowaytodrivethesewhitemenfromthemesas.

"Ithasnotbeenmanymoons,comparedwiththelengthofmylife,sincethesepeoplecame,butalreadyIseetheirinfluence.Themaidensaretryingtomaketheirhairlooklikethehairofthewhitewomen,thoughnohairdresscouldbemorebeautifulthantheancientwhorlsofthepoliene.Thewomenarelayingtheirblanketdressesasideforthethinclothdressesthetradersells.Atadistanceourmenlooklikewhitemen,eventotheirshoes."

PlacingherthinhandonPolingaysi'sheadshelookedintothegirl'ssympatheticeyes."Itellyou,Polingaysi,youwilllivetoseeatimewhenthedotsi,oursoftbuckskinmoccasin,isnolongerworn.Myowngrandmotheroncetoldmetherewouldsomedaybeapathmadeintheheavensandalongitpeoplewouldtravelasdotheeagles.Shesaid,too,thatpeoplewouldmoveswiftly,theirfeetnottouchingtheground.Andshehadneverseenamanonhorseback.

"ShesaidthatinthattimetheHopiswouldnolongerwalkquietly,singlefile,alongtheirancientstreets,butthattheywould

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walksidebyside,utteringbadwordsinloudvoices,astheboysandgirlsaredoingtoday.Girlswouldconceivebeforetheirtimeofwomanhoodwasproved,andunknowndiseaseswouldmystifytheManWithEyes,whosedutyitistoheal.

"Mindswouldbeconfused.Strangerswoulddiginourfallen-inancestralhomesandshakethegarmentsoftheancients.Wehaveseenthispredictioncometopass.

"Whenthesethingshappen,"theoldvoicedronedon,"itwillbethetimeofSuh-ah-kits-pe-oo-tani,thetimewhenchangescomeswiftly,andthatwillbetheforerunneroftheendofanage."

Hypnotizedbytheportentouswords,Polingaysisatinsilence.

"FortunateistheHopiwhocancomehometoourvillageinthatday,"theoldwomansaid,hervoicedroppingtoawhisperasshevisualizedthetimeofwhichshespoke."Theywillcome,crawlingontheirkneesupthemesatrail.Theywillcomefromthefarplacestowhichtheyhavegone.Withthemwillbeawhitebrotherandawhitesister,theonlysurvivorsoftheirrace,andwewillgivethemshelter,thoughitisforetoldthattheyshallhavecausedtheterrorandthedeathbytheirmagicknowledge.

"ThispredictionwasmadebyBlackBearHandmanyyearsago,andOraibiruinshavenowreachedthemagicnumber,four,whichwassaidtomarkthebeginningofthelastage."

Standingnowonthetopofthefourthruin,asajetplanetrailedwhiteplumesacrossthebluesky,Polingaysirememberedthatdaynearlyhalfacenturybefore.The"pathintheheavens"hadbeenmade.Downinthehotvalleywhereheatwavesshimmered,anautomobilewaskickingupdust."Peoplewillmoveswiftly,theirfeetnottouchingtheground."Howtrue.

Confusionofmind?Sheknewhowhorriblethatcouldbe.Shehadsuffereditforyearsbecauseofherbreakwiththeoldtradition,andshehadcomebacktoaskherselfonequestion:"Isthis,

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myancestralvillage,whereItrulybelong?"Itwasgoodtofeelthestillnessofthemesatop,tofeelthewarmdesertairblowthroughherhairandfanherdarkcheek.

Asshestruggledtomergewiththeworldofthewhiteman,shehadmissedthesenseofdirectionthathadgovernedheryouth.HerHopimotherhadtakennothingforgranted.Inteachingherdaughters,shehadincludedeverytraditionaldetail.

Forinstance,therehadbeenadaywhenSevenkahadtoldPolingaysitomakebluecornmealdumplingsforthemiddaymeal.Sevenkasupervisedasthegirlmeasuredhandfulsoftheblue-grayflourintoapotterybowlandpouredhotwateroverit,stirringvigorouslywithherownstirringstick.

"Now,"shesaid,asPolingaysipaused,outofbreath,"addalittlecoldwaterandaportionofthisliquidinwhichIhavesoakedsageashes.Itwillgiveflavortothedumplingsandagoodcolor.Lastofall,addasmallpinchofsand."

Polingaysidemurred."Sandisnotgoodtoeat.Whydowealwaysaddapinchofit?"

Calmly,Sevenkaexplained."Asmallportionoffoodisbeingpreparedformanyhungrypeople.Toitweaddsandasaprayerforabundance.Sand,whosegrainsarewithoutnumber,hasinitthisessence.WhatismoreplentifulthanthesandofMotherEarthinitsendlessness?Werememberthataswemixourfoodinitslackofmuchness.

"Now,asyoukneadthisdoughinyourwarmhands,beargoodthoughtsinyourheart,thattherebenostainofevilinthefood.AskthatitmayhaveinitthegreatnessandpowerofMotherEarth;thenthosewhoeatitwillbenourishedinspiritaswellasinbody."

Sheneedednourishmentofspiritnow,Polingaysiadmitted,hergazefixedontheslopesoftheSanFranciscoPeakstothesouth-

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west.Nu-va-da-ka-o-vi,herHopipeoplecalledthesesacredmountains.

Alegendoftentoldbyherfather'sclanconcernedthepeaks."Ourancestors,theKachinaPeople,oncelivedamongthefoothillsandontheslopesofNu-va-da-ka-o-vi,"itbegan."Beforetheylivedthere,ontheSnowyHeights,theylivednearanothermountainfartothesouthwhereitwaswarm.Whentheycamenorththeytraveledslowly,stoppingtoplantcornandraisecropsbeforepressingon.TheybroughtMotherCornwiththemfromthesouth.Shewassmallthen.Theearswerenolongerthanaman'sthumb.Thatiswhy,whenwecometothetimeofharvest,thetimeforbringingtheCornPeopleinfromthefields,wegathereachtinynubbin,aswellasthedriedleavesandthestubble.ItisourwayofhonoringMotherCorn,whohasnourishedussincetimesunknown."

Familiaritywiththisstoryhadmadeiteasyforhertounderstandacertainlong-agoscene.Shehadbeenplayingatthehomeofherpaternalgrandparentswhenhergrandfathercametrottingupthestreet,singingasacredsongandcarryingaheavybundleonhisback.Hergrandmotherimmediatelyceasedgrindingmealandwenttomeethim.Hehandedherthebundle.Shereceivedittenderly,crooningtoitastoabelovedchild,andtookitatoncetothecornroom.

Polingaysifollowedherandsawherlaythebundleonthefloorandopenthecarryingclothtoexposethetinyearsofcorn.

"Thankyou,myCornPeople,"thegrandmothersaid,talkingtothenubbinsasshelaidtheminaneatrowontheplasteredfloor."Youhavecomefromfaraway,butnowyouareathome.Hereyoushallremain,andtheharvestshallrestonyou,foryouwereinthebeginning."

"TheSnowyHeightswerebeautifulinthoseolddayswhenthe

KachinaPeoplelivedthere,"thegrandmotherhadoncetoldher."Therewasmuchfirewoodandtherewasgrassonwhichthe

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gamelived.But,therewerealsomanywolves,bears,andmountainlions.Theykilledthepeople.Thedeepsnowstaxedthestrengthofthepeopleandtheyweresometimesvisitedbyasicknessthattookthemfromlife.Afteratimethereweretoomanygone-awaypeople,sothosewhoremainedstartedouttofindabetterplacetolive.

TheycametoMoencopiWashandmovedeastward,guidedbyTso-wi-long,GodofMoisture,wholivesintheheavens.

"AftermanymoonsoftravelingtheystoppedatShadowSprings,offtothenorth,oldKisi-wuh.Fromthere,afteranothergreattime,theycametoOraibiandwererefusedfourtimes,thoughtheyofferedthesecretofbringingraininreturnforshelter.ItwasonlywhendroughtandfamineovertookOraibithattheproudchiefsentfortheKachinaPeople.BythattimetheyhadgonebacktowardNu-va-da-ka-o-vi.

"YouknowhowMotherKachinacomesnowfromtheeast,asshecamelongagotoberejectedandturnedaway.Youknowhowshecarriesaplaqueofseedsofmanykinds.Youhaveheardhercryout,'IhavetraveledalongwayandIamweary,'andyouhaveheardthePowamuapriestsaytoher,'Yes,Iknow.Youmustbeverytired,'beforehetakesfromherarmstheseedswhichareagiftfromtheKachinas,whobroughtusfoodandsavedusfromstarvationinthebeginningoftime."

Theceremoniesofherpeoplewererootedinantiquity.Howwasoneevertounderstandtheircomplexity,theirhiddenmeanings?OfonethingPolingaysi,thewoman,wascertain,theKachinadanceswouldbethelastoftheoldritestobediscarded.Babieslearnedthedancestepsastheylearnedtowalk.Beforetheirlegswerestrongenoughtobeartheirweight,theyweremovedbymotherorfatherindancetempo.Thekivadancingofthewintermonthsandtheplazaceremonialsofsummerwere

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somuchapartoftheirlifethatthechantsandrhythmwereingrained,apartoftheirfleshandblood,asnaturalasheartbeats.Yet,lookingintothefutureandjudgingbytheswiftchangesofthepast,shefeltshecouldforeseeatimewhentheyoungpeoplewoulddesertthevillagesonthejuttingmesasandnoonewouldbelefttosingtheancientchantsandstampmoccasinedfeetintheritualisticpattern.

Whenthattimecame,theHopipeoplewouldhavetakenanewpathway.TheKachinamaskswouldnolongeradornthekivas,butwouldbeseenonlyinmuseums,andafteratimethemaskswouldlosetheveryessenceoftheHopiswhohadmadeandwornthem.

Progress,white-manstyle,tookstrangeforms.TheredstonechurchoftheMennoniteswasoneofthem.BuiltbytheReverendVothin1901,itstoodontheedgeofthemesabeyondtheflat-toppedbuildings,aforeignthingwithnotonefeaturetoblenditwiththevillage.Itdidnotbelongthere.Itwasathingtobeignored,ortobelookedatandrejectedbytheoffendedeyesoftheHopis.

Nodoubtitbroughttomindthatotherchurchoflongago,theSanFranciscoMissionoftheinvadingSpanish,andtheFranciscanpriestswhosepresencestirredtheOraibianstorevoltandfinallytomurder.Amoundmarkeditsformerlocation,butitsstoneshadlongsincebeenscatteredanditsheavybeamsusedinkivaconstruction,andinthemindsofthevillagepeopletherewasaconsciousnessofthosedaysofhotrebellionagainstanimposedreligion.

Therewerethoseamongtheelderswhoclaimedtoknowwherethemurderedpriest'sremainswereburiedintherocksbelowthemesa,aswellastheidentityofthemenwhohadkilledhimandflunghimoverthecliff.

Eventhen,itwasdeclared,therehadbeentwofactionsin

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Oraibi,onefriendlytooutsiders,theotherhostile.ThequarrelofYeokeomaandLololomawasinasenseonlyacontinuationofthevillagestrife.

Whiletheyquarreled,lifewentonasusual.ThemissionariescontinuedtheireffortstoconverttheHopistoChristianity,babieswereborn,oldpeopledied,youngpeoplemarried.ThedeathofLololoma,whichoccurred,accordingtoonesource,''afterthesmallpoxepidemicof1901,''broughtnoendtothedisturbancebetweenconservativesandprogressivefactions.Lololoma,knowingthathewas"growingsmallagain"inoldage,hadpassedontheritualsandsecretknowledgeofhisstationtohisnephew,Tawaquaptewa,whomhenamedashissuccessor.Tawaquaptewainheritedthequarrelalongwiththeleadershipofthevillage.

Tawaquaptewahadatall,slenderbrotherwhomthewhitemanhadnamedCharles.Charles,abachelor,decidedtotakeawife,andthoughthereweremanygirlswhowishedtowashhairwithhim,influentialmembersofBearClanlookedatPolingaysi'stiny,serious,oldersister,Anna,andfoundhermostdesirableofthemall.ShewasyoungbyHopistandardsofthatday,whichrequiredthatabridebewellmaturedandcapableofassumingtheheavyresponsibilityofahomeandchildren,butherparentswerequietlyapproached.

TherewasascarcityofcornintheQoyawaymahouseholdthatwinterof1903-04,andonemusthavecornifoneistobegingrindinginpreparationforatrueHopiwedding,butthiswasnotallowedtostandintheway.Inamostpracticalmannertheproblemwassolvedbythearrival,atnight,ofcorn-ladenburrosattheQoyawaymahome.

AccordingtothenotationsoftheRev.H.R.Voth,AnnaandCharlesweremarriedinHopifashiononMarch1,1904.CharleswasmucholderthanhisbrideandsecondinlineforchieftainshipofOraibi,shouldTawaquaptewadie.

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Polingaysi'sfamilywasnowrelatedbymarriagetothevillageBearClanleader.

Acrosstheever-wideningOraibiWashinthevalley,thehomeoftheVothsbecameameccaforYeokeomaandhisfollowers.Notopenly,butundercoverofdarkness,theSpiderClanmanandsomeofhisclosestfollowersvisitedthemissionary,seekingtofindsomegemofwisdominhisteachingthatwouldprovetheircase.

Intheirinnocence,theyconfusedtheword"Messiah"withtheirownword"Masau-u,"Masau-ubeingthefearfulGodofDeathwhohasaccesstoHopivillagesatalltimesandwhoiscapableofdestroyingopposingforces.

Polingaysi'sfathersawthetracksofthevisitorsashewenttotheVothhomeonemorning.Hewonderedwhotheywereandwhytheyhadvisitedthemissionarysecretly.Induetimehediscoveredtheiridentities,buthehadnoideawhytheywerehavingmidnighttalkswithVothuntilonenightwhen,insteadoftrottinghomeattheendoftheday,hewenttosleeponabenchbesidethehouse.HeawakenedtohearYeokeomatalking,andafteramomenthejoinedthem.Theywerecuriousabouthispresence,butnotoffended,continuingtheirtalkundisturbed.Afterthatnight,QoyawaymaoftentalkedtoYeokeomainthekiva.

Essentially,Qoyawaymawasaconservative,aswashissturdywifeSevenka,butherealizedtheholdthewhitemanhadonthemesasandknewinhisheartthatresistancewasuseless.Hecouldseethetrendthekivaoutburstsweretakingandwasnotinfavorofbringingtheundercoverturmoiltoitsthreatenedculmination.

EventuallyheconfidedinSevenka,tellingherofhisfearsandofthebrewingtrouble.Shewasdisturbed,somuchsothatshedreamed

aboutthematter.

DreamsplayasignificantpartinHopilife.SevenkacommandedrespectasamemberoftheCoyoteClan,whichisthoughttobepossessedofextraordinarypsychicpowers.Herhusband

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respectedherdreamsandherinterpretationofthem.Herchildrenwereawedbythem.

"Iwilltellyounow,"shesaid,onthemorningafterherdream,"thatYeokeomaandhisfollowerscannotwinthisstruggle.Theyarealreadybeaten.ThatIknow,becauseofmydream."

"Whatwasthisdream?"herhusbandasked.

AfarawaylookcameintoSevenka'seyes.

"ThisvillagewasdesertedbySpiderClanandfriendsofSpiderClan,"sheintoned."Theirkivaswereempty.Theirceremonialpossessionswerestrewnalongthestreets,tornandscatteredasthoughbyviolence.Therewascrying.IaskedwhathadhappenedandwastoldthatabearhadappearedfromthenorthandhadgoneintoBlueFlutekiva,whereourvillageleadersgather.Hewasintheresplittingtheheartsofourpeople."

FatalismisapartofHopinature.QoyawaymadidnotquestionthetruthofSevenka'sdream.Whatistobewillbe,andthiswasmorethanasuddenquarrelbetweentwostrongleaders.Itwasa"becoming"ofwhathadbeenandwouldbeagain.

Inthebeginning,sotheoldlegendsrelate,theHopipeoplecameupoutoftheUnderworldbecauseonefactionwasangeredbythebehavioroftheother.Agroupofthemwentonaheadofthemainbody.ComingtotheLittleColoradoRiver,theysawadeadbear,andthereaftercalledthemselvestheBearClan.

AftermanywanderingstheybuilthomesonthelowerslopesofthemesawherethevillageofShungopovinowthrives.BeingthefirstHopistoarriveinthiswilderness,BearClanleaderslaidclaimtoallthemesasandthelandsadjoiningthem,establishingthemselvesasleadersandowners.

TwobrothersheadedBearClanatthattimeoneofthemnamedMatcito.Heandhisbrotherbegantoquarreloverleadershipoftheirvillage.Matcitoleft,orwaspossiblydrivenoutofthevillage.HeestablishedhimselfinarockshelterbelowthemesatopnowoccupiedbytheruinsofOldOraibi.Afteratime,the

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storygoes,hiswifeandsomeofhisfriendsjoinedhimandbegantheerectionofapuebloonthemesatop,thusfoundingOldOraibi.

WhenOraibicameintobeing,alltheotherHopivillageswereontheslopesofthemesasorinthevalleys.Later,forprotection,theymovedtothetops.

Abouttenmilesdistantonefromtheother,thethreeHopimesasaregiganticoutthrustsofrugged,rock-cappedterrainextendingfromthelargermassofBlackMesa.CalledbythewhitemanFirst,Second,andThirdMesas,theyareapartoftheroughly4,000-square-mileHopiIndianReservationsetasidebyExecutiveOrderin1882.ThisreservationissomethinglikeasmallislandinthelargeseaofthesurroundingNavajoIndianReservation.High,fortresslike,thelittlevillagesstand,whippedbywinterwinds,burnedbysummersuns,withOraibithemostancientofthemall.

FirstMesavillagesareWalpi,Hano,Sichomovi,andPolacca;Shipaulovi,Mishongnovi,andShungopovishareSecondMesa;Oraibi,Hotevilla,Bakabi,andNewOraibiareThirdMesavillages,withMoenkopi,fortymilestothenorthwest,attachedtothemothervillageofOraibitherichsandylandalongMoenkopiWashhavingbeenfarmedbyOraibimenformanyyears.

MoenkopiwaslikenedbysomeOraibiresidentstoasortofcolony,sincemenlivinginOraibiregularlyplantedcropsthereandwalked,orran,theretocultivateandharvestthem.

ThebickeringthathadmarkedtheestablishmentofOraibicontinued,flaringup,thensubsiding,untilSeptember1906,whenitbecameevidentthatashowdownwasunavoidable.

Sevenka,aconservativebynature,mightbeindangerwhenthefighterupted,herhusbandreasoned.Anna,marriedintoBearClan,wassafe.He,himself,becauseofhisclosenesstothemissionaries,would

notbedrivenaway.Tosavetheirhome,itseemedbesttohimtosendSevenkaoutofthevillageforthetimebeing.

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Untiladecisionwasreachedandtheturmoilended,shecouldtakerefugewiththeVothfamily.

SevenkahadtheHopiwoman'sstrongattachmenttoherhome,humblethoughitwasandleaky-roofed.Itpainedhertopackupherbeddingandfoodandleadherchildrenoffthemesaundercoverofdarkness,butsheobeyedherhusband.Thelittleflock,eachwithabundleonhisorherback,leftthemesatopneartheirhome,stolequietlyaroundthebaseofthecliffsandhurriedacrossthevalleyandthewashtospendthenightinthesafetyofthemissionaries'home.Qoyawaymaremainedonthemesa,aninterestedspectatorduringthefinalhoursofOraibi'sgreatness.

TheReverendVothjoinedhimthereearlythefollowingmorning,leavingthewomenandchildrenathometoworryandwonder.Whatwashappening?Werepeoplebeinghurt?Killed?Yeokeomahadorderedthatnobloodshouldbeshed,butinastruggleanythingmighthappen.Theylookedthroughbinoculars,sawdustrising,butcouldnotmakeoutthefiguresinvolved.

Polingaysi,alwayspossessedofasoaringimagination,wasterrifiedbythethoughtofheartsbeingliterallysplitbyamaraudingbear.Herfather,shethoughtwithsecrethorror,mighteventhenbelyinginthedust,heartlessandbathedinblood.Itwasaftersunsetwhenthemencamedownthetrailtogether,unharmed,andtoldthoseathomethedramaticstoryofthestruggle.

Ithadbegunearlyinthemorning,withChiefTawaquaptewatakingtheinitiative.HehadorderedthehostileconservativereinforcementsfromShungopovitoleavethevillage,andthey,backedbyYeokeomaandhisfollowers,hadrefused.Aroughandtumblescrimmageensued,withtempersflaring.Yetevenintheheatofhand-to-handcombat,theHopisofbothfactionsrememberedtheirdeterminationtorefrainfromkillinganyone.

BylateafternoonofthatseventhdayofSeptember,theopposingfactionswerelinedupatthenorthwesterncornerofthevillagefacingeachother,andYeokeomadrewwithhisbarebigtoea

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linerunningeastandwest.Hegroupedhisfollowersbehindhimtothenorth,andtheprogressives,theirbackstothevillage,facedhim.

"Ifyourmenarestrongenoughtopushusawayfromthevillage,"heissaidtohavetoldTawaquaptewa,"andtopassmeovertheline,itwillbedone.Butifwepassyouovertheline,itwillnotbedoneandweshallhavetolivehere."

Yeokeomathereuponbecameahumanpawn,pushedbackwardandforwardviolentlyuntilhewasfinallypushedwelloverthelinetothenorth.Hewasseverelymauled,andadmittedhisdefeat.

"Well,youpushedmeoverthelineanditisdone,"hesaid."Ithadtobethisway."

Polingaysi'sfathertoldofstandingbesideamanwithaloadedrifle.Hewasaconservative."RememberYeokeoma'swords,"Qoyawaymaremindedhim."Theremustbenospillingofblood."Angered,themanflungtherifleawayandjoinedthefraybarehanded.

Bloodwasshed,however,beforethefollowersofYeokeomawerebodilypushedoutofthevillage.Womenweredraggedfromtheirhouses,childrenscreamedandcriedinterror,andmanyotherterriblethingsweredone,Polingaysi'sfathersaid.Onemantookababyonacradleboardandhurleditafteritsmother.Thesturdycradleboardabsorbedtheshockasitlandedonendandthechildwasonlybadlyshaken,thoughitsmotherwascertainithadbeenkilled.

Polingaysiwenthomewithherfamily,backtothestonehouseontheedgeofthemesa.Howstillitseemed,thatdayafterthesplit.Almosteveryhomemournedsomedearrelative"pushedout"withYeokeoma.Houseswereemptyofpeople,thoughtheirbelongingsremained.Theyhadnotbeenallowedtotakethem.

Ironically,thoughtheirleadershadknownthisconflictwould

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eventuallytakeplaceinthelegendarypattern,thepeopleweresurprised.

ItwastheirgooduncleSinoyvaRunningAfterFlowerswhomtheQoyawaymachildrenmissedthemost.Thelittleboys,especiallyMatthew,mournedhim.Hehadbeenkindandloving,andhadallowedthemtotagafterhimwhereverhewent.

Onthedayafterthefight,September8,astatementandagreement,composedbythesuperintendentatKeamsCanyonandsignedbyTawaquaptewaandhisleaders,gavethefollowersofYeokeomatherighttocomebackingroupsofnotmorethanthreepeopletoremovetheirbelongingstothesite,sevenmilesaway,wheretheyhadstoppedtorestandwheretheywouldremaintoestablishthevillageofHotevilla.

Itwasseveraldaysbeforetheonespushedoutbegancomingback,timidlyatfirst,thenmoreboldlyasthefeelingagainstthembecamelessheated.Sinoyvacameassoonashecouldandstayedaslongashedared,weepingwhenhewasforcedtoleavetheclingingchildren.

"Itiscoldwherewehavestopped,"hetoldhissisterSevenka."Likemanyoftheotherwomen,ourmotheriscryingtoseeherhomeinthevillage.Weliveinholesinthesanddunes.Weliveincavesbeneaththerockyledges.OnewomanwalkstowardOraibieachdayandstandslooking,looking,looking,justtoseethesmokerisingfromthechimneypots.Manyheartsarefilledwithhatebecausewehavebeentornfromourhousesandourcornroomswhereourharvestwasstored.Weknowmostofthecornhasbeentaken,stillwewouldbegladforthelittlewecouldcarryaway."

SoOraibilostitsheart.Thebanishedonessorrowedonthemesatothewestsorrowedandsufferedthroughacold,longwinter,andwerestillfurtherdividedwhenonefaction,tornbetweenreturningto

followTawaquaptewaorremainingwith

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Yeokeoma,movedtoasiteaboutamilefromHotevillaandestablishedBakabi.

AddedtothatwasthedistresscausedbythearrivaloftroopswhoarrestedYeokeomaandmostoftheyoungermenofthenewvillageandsentthemawaytoprisonbecauseofthetroubleatOraibiandtheirresistancetogovernmentalauthority.

Tawaquaptewawasalsoarrested,butwassenttoShermanInstitute,theIndianschoolatRiverside,California.BeforeheleftOraibi,heandhisfollowerscelebratedtheirso-calledvictorybygivingaButterflyDance.

Polingaysiwasoneofthedancers.Smallandagile,withrhythminherheart,shedancedthedaintyandintricatestepswithdelight,toothrilledbytheperformancetobesaddenedbytheeventitcelebrated.ItwasthefirstandlasttimeshetookpartinthetraditionaldancesoftheHopis.

Yeokeomahadalreadyservedoneterminprisonforresistingthegovernment,buthetoldhisfriendQoyawaymathathewouldbepunishedfourtimes.Afterthefourthtime,hepredicted,hewouldbeleftalonetodieinpeace.

Polingaysirememberedthefourthimprisonment.TheoldmanwasjailedattheAgencyatKeamsCanyon.OneofhisrelativesaskedMatthew,Polingaysi'sbrother,totaketheoldmansomepikiwhenhewenttotheAgency.

"Yeokeomawasinthebasement,lockedin,"Matthewtoldhisfamilylater."Hewasbusyweaving.Anotherman,oneofhisfriends,wasmakingapairofmoccasins.Theywereworkingandtalking.Justwaitingpeacefullytobeletout.Isaid,'Ihavebroughtyousomepiki.'ForalittlewhileYeokeomalookedsad.Helookedlonesome.Buthewasgladtogetthepiki."

FatalismwasingrainedinYeokeoma,asitisinallHopis.Heacceptedtheillfortunethathadovertakenhimassomethingthatcouldnotbeaverted.Itwastobe,thereforehemustendureit.Whenhewasreleasedhereturnedtohispeopleasstronglydeter-

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minedasevertoliveouthislifeintheHopipattern.Therewasnochanginghim.Hewasdevotedtohisprinciples.Hewoulddieforthemifthatbecamenecessary,buthewouldnotdiscardthemforthewhiteman'sway.OthersmighttravelthetrailoftheBahana,mighttrytobepartwhiteandpartHopi,buthewouldneveryield.Andonlyinthefaceofhisstrenuousobjectionwouldanyoftheyoungpeopleofhisvillagestepoutintothewhiteman'sworld.

ItwasnotimmediatelyapparentthatOraibihadbeentornapartonthedayofthestruggle.Foratimedanceswereconductedasusual,butOraibihadbeendepletedoftheclansmennecessaryforobservanceofsomeoftherituals.

AsadfactoroftheepisodewasthatitwasforeknowntobothBearandSpiderClanchieftains.

"Whatwouldyousaycausedthesplitin1906?"aBearClanmanwasaskedsomeyearslater.

Themanthoughtaboutitforalonginterval,thensaid:"Thatwasplannedfromthebeginning.SpiderClanknewthathecouldnotlivelongwithotherleaders.That'swhyhemadethemarkontherocknorthofthevillage."HereferredtothelineYeokeomahaddrawnandoverwhichhewaspushed.

"WereyouatOraibiatthetime?"

"Youmeanwhentheyna-hon-a-ya?Whenthepeopleparted?No.Ileftthevillagebeforeithappened.Iknewitwouldtakeplacesoon."

"Howdidyouknowthis?"

"SpiderClanleadercametoourhousetwice.Thefirsttimehesaid,'IaskyouBearClanpeopletoletmeandmypeopleleaveyou.Therewillbeenoughofotherclanstotakecareofyouintheceremonials.Wecannolongerlivehereunderchangingconditions.Wewantto

liveasHopipeople.'"

"Whatdidyourpeoplesay?"

"Nothing.Nexttimehedemandedtobeletgo,buthesaid,

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'Thereistobenobloodspilledattheparting,foritwillmeanseparation,brotherfrombrother.Iwantmypeopletolive.'ThenIgotmad."

"Why?Wasn'titrightthatheshouldwanthispeopletolive?"

"Yes.Butitwasknownfromthebeginningthatthispartingwastobe.TherewastobenoSpiderClanleft,becausetheyweresaidtobetricky,unmerciful,andwicked.Theyweretobewipedfromtheearth,likethewickedpeoplewhoescapedwhenweHopiscamefromtheUnderworldinthebeginning."

BearClanlostfacebythebreakintheHopiranks.AncientleadersofOraibiandHopiland,theyhadgoneagainsteverythingtheyhadbeentaughtsincechildhood.Againstpeacefulness,againstangeringthespiritsofothers.Theyhadcommittedsinsthattheycouldnotspitoutovertheirshouldersatprayertime.NowtheycouldnotconscientiouslysitbeforeFatherSuninmeditation,norcouldtheyhealtheirhurtswiththeraysoftherisingsun.Thehurtsweretoodeep.

Polingaysi'sparentsbegantofeeluneasyonthemesa.Perhapstheyfelttheyshouldbewiththeconservatives,sufferingintheirnewhomesitetothewest.PerhapsitwasthemissionarieswhointerestedtheminleavingtheancientvillageandbuildingadwellingbelowthecliffsatKiakotsmoviNewOraibiwherethegovernmenthadbuilttheschool.Atanyrate,FredQoyawaymaselectedacreageforhimselfandhischildrenandconstructedastonehouseinNewOraibi.

OldOraibibegantodwindleinpopulation.MoreandmorefamiliesfollowedtheexampleoftheQoyawaymas,andthestonehousesofOldOraibislowlyemptied.

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FourTawaquaptewawasright.Polingaysihadwantedtobeawhiteman.Thewhitemanhadabundantsuppliesoffood,goodclothing,andopportunitiestotravel.Shehadadesiretosharethegoodthingsofthewhitewayofliving.

ItwassoonaftertheOraibisplit,andbeforetheQoyawaymafamilymovedintotheNewOraibihome,thatPolingaysiheardofplansforsendingagroupofHopiyoungpeopletoRiversidefortrainingatShermanInstitute.Shebegantodaydreamofgoingwiththem.Sheenviedthechosenones.Why,sheaskedherself,shouldn'tshebeaskedtogoalong?Hadn'tshebeenagoodscholar?Hadn'tshelearnedtospellwords,andwritethem,andspeakthem,atleastafterafashion?Shewasreadyforatasteoflifebeyondthemesas.

Shewasoldenoughtobeincludedinthegroupthatwasgoingtothatfar-offplacebeyondtheSnowyPeaks.Althoughshewassosmallthatshemightwellbemistakenforaten-year-old,shewasinrealityinherearlyteens,perhapsfourteen.But,asfarasworldlinesswasconcerned,shewascompletelyignorant.

OnecleardayinthatSeptemberof1906,shesawacoveredwagononthehillroadthatleddownfromSecondMesa.Avastexcitementranthroughher.PerhapsthiswagonhadinitthechildrenfromKeamsCanyonschool,thechildrenwhowereboundfortheoutsideworldofthewhiteman.

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Stationingherselfatavantagepoint,shewaitedforthewagon'sarrivalinthevillage.Itcouldbethatthewagoncontainedrelativesorfriends,thoughnoceremonialdanceswerebeingheldatthattime.Relativeswerealwaysreceivedwithfittinghonors.Oneoftheuncleswouldtakethemintowandgowiththemfromhousetohouse,introducingthemtootherrelatives.Ateachplacetheywouldeatalittlepiki,somesweetcorncakes,orotherfoodgiventotheminwelcome.

Butthesepeopleinthewagonthatrolledsteadilynearer,drawnbyalazyteamofhorses,werenotrelatives.Boysscrambledfromthecanvas-coveredenclosureandcamerunningahead,racingeachotherinHopifashion.These,Polingaysifeltcertain,werechildrenfromthegovernmentschoolattheAgency,embarkingontheirgreatadventure.Thenandthereshemadeherdecisiontogowiththem.

Assoonasthedriverpulledthehorsestoahaltnearthetradingpost,Polingaysirantothewagonandclimbeduptohavealookinside.TherewasanOraibigirlinthewagon,andtothatfamiliar,friendlyfacePolingaysiappealedforinformation.

''Areyoucominghometostay,orareyougoingonsomewhereinthiswagon?''sheasked.

"We'regoingtothelandoforanges,"theschoolgirltoldher."Faraway.InCalifornia."

Polingaysi'sfacetookonaraptexpression.Landoforanges!Shevisualizedgroundcoveredwithgreat,goldenoranges,sweettothetaste,pungenttothenostrils.Howwonderfulitwouldbetoliveinsuchaland!Still,perhapstherewasatrickinthis.Wouldthosechildreneverbeallowedtoreturntothemesas?

Shepliedtheothergirlwithquestionsandwassomewhatreassured.Theyweregoingtoaschool.TheywouldridefromWinslowona

trainwhichwouldgoveryfast.Whatwasatrain?Thegirldidn'tknow,exactly.Someonehadtoldheritwasastringoflonghousesonwheels,drawnbyanironhousethat

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screamedwithear-splittingloudness.Theywouldcomehomesomeday,butnotsoon.

Polingaysieyedthegirlsuspiciously.Wasshetellingthetruth?Wastheresuchaplaceasshedescribed?Andhowdidsheknowaboutthethingthatscreamed,sinceshehadneverseenit?

Anotherofthegirls,afewyearsolder,tookthedoubtfromPolingaysi'seyes.Theirteacherhadshownthempicturesoftrains.Shehadalsoshownthempicturesoforangetrees,heavywithfruit,thisgirlsaid,likepeachesontheHopipeachtrees,onlymuchlarger.

Polingaysirelinquishedherpictureoforangesgoldenontheground,acceptedapictureoforangetrees.

"Therearesomanytheschoolchildrenplayballwiththem,"oneoftheboyssaid."Anyonemayeatasmanyashewishes.Therearepilesofthem."

Polingaysiabruptlyjumpedtothegroundandspedhomeward.Arrivingbreathlessandwindblown,sheaskedhermothertoteachhertomakeaplaque.

Astonished,hermotheraskedwhyshewassuddenlyinsuchahurrytolearnanartshehadneverbeforebeenwillingtoconsider.Hopigirlsfromtimeimmemorialhadlearnedtomakereedandyuccaplaquesasamatterofcourse.OneofthedutiesofaHopimotheristoteachherdaughtersplaque-making,formanyplaquesareneededinaHopihousehold.Annahadbeenanaptandwillingstudent.Polingaysihadbeentoorestless,toofilledwithprojectsofanothernaturetolearnsuchsedentarywork.

"Iwanttobuyanorange,"Polingaysiansweredtruthfully."Thetraderwillgivemeorangesfortheplaque.Itastedanorangeonce,butIdon'trememberverywellhowittasted.Ithinkittastedverygood.If

orangestastegood,I'mgoingtothelandoforangeswheretheotherschoolchildrenaregoing."Shehadalreadypickedupaplaquehermotherhadnearlycompleted."Iwillfinishthisone.Iaminahurry,''shetoldhermother.

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"Alwaysyoumustbedoingsomethingdifferent,"hermothersighed."HowisitthatyouarenotcontenttobeatrueHopi,butmustlearnmoreandmoreofthewaysoftheBahana?Whereisthisland?Whoisgoing,andwhy?"

Bentoverherwork,PolingaysitoldaboutthewagonandthechildrenfromKeamsCanyonschool.

"Ihaveheardofthisschoolinthewest,"Sevenkasaid."Yourfathertoldme.ChildrenfrommanyIndiantribesgothere.EvenForeheads."

ForaninstantPolingaysi'shandswerestill.Foreheads.Woulditbesafe?Butthen,therewouldbeteacherstoprotectherfromtheNavajos.

Hermothersatdownbesideherandbeganinstructingherinplaque-making.

"Iamgladtoseethatyouareinterestedinthiswork,"shesaid,"butasforgoingawaywithanyone,thatyoucannotdo.Youaretooyoungtobeawayfromhome.Youbelonghere,withmeandyourfather."

Polingaysididnotargue.Shefinishedtheplaque,nottooskillfully,andtookittothestore.Theorangesshereceivedforittastedsweetandtangy.ShedecidedtoeatmanyoftheminCalifornia.GoingtothehomeofherCalifornia-boundfriend,sheaskedwhenthegroupexpectedtobeginthejourney.

Thestudentgaveherbadnews.Therewouldbenotravelinguntiltheparentshadsignedapaperstatingtheirwillingnesstoallowtheirchildrentogoawaytoschool.Someoftheparentsweretooconservativetowanttheirchildrentoleavethem.ThesparkleofexcitementdiedfromPolingaysi'seyes.Wouldherparentssignforher?Shedoubtedit.Shouldshetrytofindawaytogo,orshouldshestayathomeandbecomethetrueHopimaidenherparentswishedher

tobe?

Shehadtothinkthisover.Downthepaththerewasahuge

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boulderthathadbrokenfromthecliffandfallenagainstanotherrockinsuchamannerastoprovideahidingplace.InthisshelterednookPolingaysisatdowntothink.Abrokenbitofpotterylayatherfeet,andfromlonghabitshepickeditupandbegandigginginthesandwithit.

ShethoughtofthewagonleavingOraibiwithouther.Shethoughtoftheothergirlsandboyswavinggoodbye.Shevisualizedtheirhappytimeinthelandoforangeswhileshelanguishedhereathome.TossingthepotsherdasideshereturnedhometoaskpermissiontogowiththeotherstoRiverside.Herparentsflatlyrefusedtoallowhertogo.

Polingaysibroodedandwaited,keepingintouchwithhermorefortunatefriend.ThenightbeforethetravelersweretobegintheirjourneybycoveredwagontotherailroadtownofWinslow,aboutseventymilessouthofOraibi,Polingaysimadeabundleofherfewbelongingsandhiditbesidethehouse.Beforedaylightshecreptout,snatchedupherbundle,andfled.

Noonewasnearthecoveredwagon.Sheclimbedintoitandcrouchedbeneaththewagonseat,hopingnoonewoulddiscoverheruntilitwastoolatetoforceherreturntothevillage.Shehadsleptfitfullythenightbefore,anditwaschillyinthepre-dawn.Shepulledherblanketaroundherandfellasleep,tobeawakenedbythedriver,awhiteman.

"Well,now!What'sthis?Youastowaway?"helaughed.

"No."Polingaysishookherhead,notknowingwhatthewordmeant."I'mgoingtothelandoforanges.Icameearlytokeepyoufromwaitingforme."

Thenheaskedherfor"thepaper"andshehadnopaper.Hetoldherhecouldn'ttakeherwithoutherparents'consentandaskedhertogetoutofthewagon.Herhopesweredwindling,butshesatthere

stubbornly.Shewouldnotsurrendertocircumstance,thoughshedidnotknowwhattodonext.

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ThedriversummonedaHopigirlwhowasactingasoverseerofthegirlstudents,andthisgirltoldPolingaysishemustgetoutofthewagon.

"You'retooyoung,"shesaid."You'dbelonesome.You'dbecryingforyourparentsbeforewegottoWinslow."

"Iamoldenoughnottocry,"Polingaysiinsisted,hereyesflashingproudly."Iwillnotgetoutofthewagon.Iamgoingalong."

ThegirlwentawayandreturnedwithPolingaysi'sparents.Sevenka,largeandsternalways,seemedevenmoreimposingtothedefiantgirlinthewagonbox,butPolingaysi'sslenderlittlefatherworealookofunderstandingonhisexpressiveface.

"Ithinkweshouldallowhertogo,"hetoldhiswife."Shewillbewelltakencareof.Shewilllearnmoreofthewritingmarksthatareinbooks.Ithinkweshouldsignthepaper."

Sevenkagavein."Itshallbeasyousay,"shesaidturningawaytohidethetearsinhereyes.

ThusPolingaysiwonherweaponlessbattleforanothersampleofwhiteman'seducation.

Beforethewagonleftthevillageherfathercametotellhergoodbyeandtoplaceinherhandthreesilverdollars,hiswageforsixdaysofhardlaborforthemissionary.Polingaysihadneverbeforeseensomuchmoneyatonetime.Awed,sheknottedthesilverpiecesintoacornerofhershawlandheldtheknottightlyinonehand,fearfuloflosingherfortune.

Howwealthyshefelt!Asthewagonrolledawayfromherhome,fromparents,brothers,sisters,andgrandparents,hermindteemedwithplansforspendingthemoney.Whatalotofthingsshecouldbuywithit!

Thelongtripacrossthedesertthatdaywaslikeaparty.Thechildrengotoutnowandthenandwalkedtostretchtheirlegs.Theyplayedgameswheneverthehorsesrested.Butthatnight,incamponthebankoftheLittleColorado,theworldseemedcoldandunfriendly.

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Coyoteshowled,sendingshiversofapprehensionoverPolingaysi.Sherolledupinablanket,asdidtheothers,butcouldnotgotosleepatonce.Instead,shethoughtofherpatientmother,heradoringandadorablebrothers,Annaandhernewbabyboy.Inspiteofherdetermination,tearsoozedbeneathhereyelids,butshesmotheredherlonelinessandnooneknewshewept.Onceitflashedintohermindtoslipawayandreturntothevillage,followingthewagontracks.Shecouldmakethetripintwodays,oratmostthree.Thenshethoughtofhermother.Shecouldalmostseetheaccusingblackeyesandhearthesternwords:"Finishwhatyoubegin.Thosewholeavethingshalfdonegetboilsontheirheads.Doyouwantboilsonyourhead?"

Inthequietdark,Polingaysi'sfingerscreptuptoherscalp.Herexploringfingersfoundnoevidenceofboilsformingthere.Itwasbestnottotakeachanceofgettingthem.Hermotherwouldscornher,ifshewentbackweepingandsniveling,acowardrunningawayfromherowndecision.

Again,therewasnoturningback.

ItwasthefirsttimePolingaysihadeversleptawayfromhome.ShehadoncemorewillfullydepartedfromtheHopiframeofaction.Whateverhappenedtoherwasherownfault;itwouldbeuptohertotaketheconsequenceswithoutcomplaint.

Therealizationthattheywereindeedleavingtheirdeserthomeseemedtostriketheolderstudentsthenextmorning.Theyweretired,silent,awedbythechange,evenbeforetheyreachedWinslow.

Aftertheirpueblovillages,crowdedtogetheronthemesas'rockypoints,thesmalltownofWinslowseemedtothemanoisyandhugeplace.Trainsrumbledandscreechedalongtherailsthatbisectedthetown,accompaniedbyaclickety-clackingsound,unfamiliaryetinteresting.Thestreetsseemedalivewithmenandwomen;freight

wagons,buggies,buckboardsformedatrafficpatternalongthemainstreet.CowboysandNavajoson

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horsebackturnedtostareatthewild-lookinglittlebandfromthemesas.

Forthefirsttime,Polingaysienteredastorewherequantitiesoffood,dressgoods,andothersuppliesweredisplayed.Whytheywentinside,shecouldneverremember.Perhapsthewhitematroninchargeofthegirlsmerelywantedthemtoseetheinteriorofanormalplaceofbusinessinthewhiteman'sworld.Certainlytheywerenotacleangroupofyoungpeople.Wearingtheirworntickingdresses,cheapshoes,Hopishoulderblankets,andtrading-postshawls,thegirlswerelessthancharming.Theboyswerejustasunkemptintheirhomemadefloursackshirtsanddenimpants,andjustasshyandfrightenedasthegirls.

Thatnighttheysleptinawarehouse,withthegovernmentmatronincharge.NextdaytheywereherdedontoapassengertraintobegintheirjourneybyrailtoRiverside,California.NeverhadPolingaysiheardsuchaconfusingdin.Neverhadsheimaginedsomuchmovementandclankingofmachineryasfollowed.Thenthetrainpulledoutofthestation,wheezingandwhistlingandclickety-clackingupthegrade.

Polingaysisatstifflyontheredplushcushionbesideanothergirlandstaredatthechangingscenery.Thedesertgrowthchangedfromrabbitbrushtolowjunipersandpinyonsand,asthetraincarrieditspassengersintohigherelevations,ponderosapinesappeared,rosy-boledandgreenoffoliage.OneoftheboyswasthefirsttospythesnowyheightsoftheSanFranciscoPeaksthattowerabovethetownofFlagstaff.

"Look!"hewhispered,indicatingthedirectionbypursinghislipsandpointingwithhischin."Nu-va-da-ka-o-vi!"

Polingaysiwentwiththeotherstothenorthsideofthecarandstared

atthebeautifulpeaks.Shehadknownthemallherlife,butthiswasherfirstcloselookatthem.Onthosejaggedpeaks,accordingtoHopilegend,livedtheKachinapeople,ancestorsofherfather.

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"Remember,youareachildoftheKachinas,"herpaternalgrandmotherhadalwaystoldher.Hopismustnotboast,theymustnotshowpride,buttheycouldfeelinnerprideinancestry.HerfatherwasofKachinaClan,thereforeshewasachildoftheKachinas,asadaughterofaBowClanmanwouldbeachildoftheBowpeople.ToPolingaysi,identificationwiththeaugust,revered,legendaryKachinaswasamarkofdistinction.

Whilethechildrenstared,amancamethroughthecoachsellingfruit.Polingaysiforgotthemountains.Shouldshespendaportionofherfortuneforfood?Therewereapplesandorangesinthebasket.Withthoseshewasfamiliar,butwhatwerethoselong,yellowthingsthatgrewinabunchlikesomanyfatfingers?

Amarriedcouplehadbeenassignedtothecoachwiththeyoungerchildren.BothwereveryyoungandeagertogotoschoolinCalifornia.Polingaysiaskedtheyoungwifeaboutthefruit.Shegiggled,hidingherfaceassheadmittedherownignorance,butherhusbandknew.

"Bananas,"hesaid."Goodtoeat,butverysweet.Idonotlikethemverymuch."

Polingaysi,theadventurous,decidedtotryone.Shealsoboughtanappleandanorange,thenwashorrifiedtoseehowmuchofhersilverdollarshehadspent.Herchagrinincreasedwhen,afterpeelingthebananaastheyoungmaninstructed,shewasrepelledbythestrangetasteandtextureofthefruit.Shegavetherestofitaway,smartingundertheknowledgethatshehadactedfoolishlyandwithoutdueconsideration.

"I'llnotspendanymoreofmymoneyuntilIgettothelandoforanges,"shevowedsilently,andkepthervow.Whentemptedtobreakit,sherememberedhermother'sremedyforhungeranddranka

cupofwaterto"weighherdown."

ArrivinginRiversideinastuporofweariness,thenervousandfrightenedstrangersweretakentodormitories.Polingaysi,theyoungestandsmallest,wasassignedtoaplaceinoneofthedormi-

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toriesforgirlsandtoldtoremoveherclothingandtakeashower.

Nowthiswasterror,genuineterror,fromtheviewpointofaHopimaiden.Whocouldtellfromwhatspringthisgushingwatercame?Whoknew,positively,thatWaterSerpentwasnotpeeringfromthatfaucet?

ThefearofsnakeshadbeeninstilledinPolingaysiataveryearlyage.Herfirstawarenessofthedreadedwaterserpentcamewhenshewaslittlemorethanababy.Toddlingafterhermother,herownlittlewaterjaronherback,shehadgonetothevillagespring.Atthattimeitwaslikeahugecone,narrowingatthebottomwheretherewasapoolofwaterthatreflectedtheblueskyandbrightlycoloredcliffs.Thesteepsideswereterraced,andthewomenoftenspenthoursthere,gossipingwhiletheyawaitedtheirturntofilltheirjars.

Aschildrenwill,Polingaysiabsorbedeverythingandaskedmanyquestions.Atthespring'sedge,Polingaysi'smothercaughtherhandwovenwoolenblanketdresscloselyaboutherlegsasshebenttodipwaterintoherwigoro.Acrossfromthem,wherethewaterseepedfromthemossyrocks,therewasanearthenpot.Inthatlightitlookedveryprettytothelittlegirl.Aboveitsomethingmoved.Itwasafeather,affixedtoaprayerstickwhichwasthrustintoalittlenicheabovethewaterandthesubmergedpot.

"Look,Mother,"Polingaysisaid."Someonehaslostaprettylittlepot."

Hermotheralmostfellintothewater,soviolentwasherreaction.

"Don'tlookbackinthere,anddon'ttalk,"shehissed."DoyouwanttobecharmedbyWaterSerpent?"

Hermother'ssternandfearfulface,andthehastewithwhichshefilledherwaterjarandhurriedoutofthefunnelofthespring,wasenough

toimpresstheepisodeuponthechild.Latershelearnedthatthereasonwomenheldtheirskirtsaboutthematthespringwastoguardagainstmolestationbythesnake,which

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mightmakeagirlorwomanbecomepregnant,justbybreathingonher.Also,thatthelittlepotshehadadmiredwasa"transplanter"buriedtherebysomepriestoftherainmakers,andthereforesacred.Tohaveremoveditwouldhavebeendangerous.

Andhere,inthisstrangeroom,shewasbeingaskedtobareherbodyandstandbeneaththatstreamofwater,tobeseenandperhapsbreatheduponbyWaterSerpent.

ThematroninchargewasunawareofPolingaysi'sfears.Shemighthavebeenmoretoleranthadsheknownwhythegirlcoweredinacorner,hereyeswidewithfright.Asitwas,shemadeitclearthatPolingaysiwastotakehershower...atonce!

Thatnightforthefirsttime,Polingaysisleptinarealbed.Sheclimbedupontoitgiddywithfearandnervousness,feelingthesoftnessofthemattressandtheresilienceofthespringsbeneaththetautlydrawnsheets.Herbedwasoneofmany,rangedthelengthoftheroom.Ineachbedtherewasagirl,astranger,notoneofthemaHopifromPolingaysi'shomeland.Eyeswatchedhergetintobedandlayherfreshlywashedheadonthewhitepillow,butnoonespokeawordofwelcomeandnoonesmiled.Theywerestrangers,notknowingnorcaringhowthisnewgirlfelt.Forallthecomforttheyoffered,theOraibianmightaswellhavebeenalone.

Shehadnosoonerpulledupthecoversthanhelplesstearsbegantoflow.Shetriedtoblinkthemback,buttheykeptcoming,gushinglikeaspringfrombeneathherclosedeyelids.Finallyshedivedbeneaththepillowandwept,allbutsuffocatingbeforehertearswerespent.

Forweeks,eachnightwasarepetitionofthefirst.Withthecomingofdarkness,alltheconfusionsofthedaywelledupinherandhadtobereleased.

Riverside.Landoforanges.Landofperfume.Timeoftorture.Aftermorethanhalfacentury,Polingaysistillcouldnotrecall

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thatintervalwithoutasurgeofemotion,rememberingthewhitenightsfilledwiththecloyingscentoftheorangeandlemongroves,rememberingthestifledsobbingofthelonelychildshehadbeen.

Buttherewasanother,happier,memoryofthattime.Eachdaytheschoolchildrensang.SongwasPolingaysi'ssalvation.

Sevenka,Polingaysi'smother,hadastrong,lovelyvoiceandPolingaysihadinheritedsomeofherability.Sevenkabelongedtothewomen'ssocietycalledtheMazhrau;adancingandsinginggroup.Shecomposedsongsregularlyforherownsociety,andatonetimecomposedasongwhichwasusedforyearsafterwardbytheNimanDancersinthelate-JulyceremonythatclosestheKachinacalendarfortheyear.Thiswasasteppingoutofherwoman'splacetocompetewithmen.Sevenka'ssongsweresongsoflivingprayer.LonghoursofpracticewererequiredoftheMazhraumembers,inorderthattheymightlearnthesongsandfitthemtothedancesteps.Theywerenotrecorded,exceptinthememoriesofthewomen.

Polingaysi'svoicewasasweet,highsoprano,clearandtrue,andshehadthelungpowertosustainhighnotes.WhenSevenkafirstnoticedthis,shewassurprisedandtoldthechildhowgladshewas.

''Whenyouweretiny,"shesaid,"youwereveryill.Wethoughtyouwouldnotlivemuchlonger.Yoursisterwasalsoillatthattime.MissionaryVothtookhertocarefor,butyoursistercouldnotbesaved.Themedicineman,Apha,tookcareofyou.Nightanddayheheldyouinhisarms,treatingyouwithhismagic.Andyoulived,butyouwerepunyforalongtime."Shesmiled,rememberingthepunyone."Youusedtorunafteryourgrandfatherwhenhewenttothefields.Hehadlonglegsandyoucouldnotkeepupwithhim.Hetoldmethis:'Keepthatchildathome.Ihavetostopforher,becauseafterawhileIhearherpantingafter

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melikealittlelizard.'Ineverthoughtyouwouldgrowuptohavesuchgoodlungs.''

Polingaysi's"stronglungs"broughthertotheattentionofherteachers.InspiteofheryearsofattendanceattheNewOraibidayschoolsheknewverylittleEnglishandmispronouncedmanywords,butthiswasunimportant.Shecouldsing.Hervoicewasdependable.Shecouldlearnthewordswithalittleeffort.

Shewasunawareoftheinteresthervoicehadstimulateduntilshewassingledouttotakealeadingpartinoneoftheschoolprograms.Then,withcharacteristicHopireticence,shetriedtoescapebeingspotlighted.Thethoughtofmakingamistakebeforeanaudiencewashorrifying.Betternottosingatallthantobeembarrassed.Herteachersunderstoodbutwerefirmwithher.Finallyherinnategoodsenseandherloveofmusicovercameherfears.Singingwasnothard,shetoldherself,andshewouldpractice.Shecoulddowhattheyaskedofher.

Shebegantoreceivepleasurefromgivingpleasure.Complimentsencouragedherandarousedinheradesiretoexcel.Someofthehardknotsoffearbegantodissolvefromhermindandfloatawayonwingsofsong.Shefoundinthisactivityawaytoexpressherpent-upyearnings,heruncertainties,andherloneliness,andtoriseabovethem.

Oneofherteachersbegantoshowanespeciallywarminterestinher.SheoftenstoppedtotalktoPolingaysiandtotrytoengageherinconversation.Onedaysheaskedtheembarrassingquestion:"Howoldareyou,Bessie?"

Polingaysilookeddownatherfeet,admittinginalowmurmurthatshedidnotknow.

"You'reteasingme,"herteachersaid."Tellme.Whenisyour

birthday?"

Birthday!Polingaysilookedpuzzledandfrightened.Therewerenosuchthingswithinherexperience.Youwereborn.Youlived.

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Youdied.Whatdifferencediditmakewhentheseeventsoccurred?Tearssparklinginhereyes,shelookedtowardoneoftheolderteachersforhelp.Theolderwomanunderstood.

"Sheprobablyhasnoideaofabirthday,asweknowthem.Yousee,Hopimotherskeptnorecordsinherday,andfewcouldtellyou,now,onwhatparticulardayoneoftheirchildrenwasborn.Hermothermayrelateherbirthtosomeceremonialdanceorvillageevent,andsoplaceitmoreorlessdefinitelyasinspring,summer,fall,orwinter.WethinkBessie'saboutfourteen."

"Oh,Bessie,I'msorry,"hernewfriendapologized.Oncetheawkwardmomentwasover,theytalkedfreely.TheresultwasthatPolingaysiwasinvitedtoliveatthehomeoftheteacherandherhusbandandhelpwithhousework.

Thewhitecouplehadnochildrenoftheirown,andlavishedmorethantheusualattentiononher.TheymighthavebeenevenmoreaffectionatehadPolingaysinotmaintainedherreserve,evenwiththem.Shehadneverworkedinthekitchenofwhitepeople,buttheyweretolerant.Theyshowedherhowtodohouseworkinthewhiteman'swayandtaughtherEnglishintheprocess.Shesoonbegantodevelopawell-roundedvocabulary,andthisincreasedherconfidenceinherownability.Shebegantoemerge,eversolittleandtimidly,fromhertightlittleshellofdoubt.

Shehadherfather'sdesiretolearn,andtoearnmoney.Whenherbenefactorstoldhertheyweregoingtopayherforherwork,shewasoverwhelmedwithhappiness.Shewhohadneverbeforehadmoney,exceptforthethreedollarsherfatherhadgivenher,wastohavemoneyofherown.Shewouldbeapersonofsubstanceyet.Shedidn'tmindthatherteacherfriendwasnotgivingherthemoneyoutright,butwasplacingitinafundfromwhichportionscouldbedrawnoutasneeded.

"Iwillworkhard,"shepromised,"andIwillsave.WhenIhavemany,manydollarsIwilldrawitalloutand,"herroguisheyestwinkled,"dosomethingbigwithit,likebuildingahouse!"

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Buttherewereotherexperiencesinstoreforher.ShehadtodohershareoftheworkattheInstitute,whichincludedscrubbingfloors,doingdishes,makingbeds,andhelpinginvariousotherdepartmentsasshewasneeded.Thescrubbingdetailwasmostdetested.Withhalfadozenothers,shegotdownonherkneeseachSaturdaytoscrubthefloorofthebigdininghall.Apatchoffloorwasscrubbed,thenrinsedandwiped,andanothersectionattacked.Theworkwasslow,andhardontheknees.

Itwasgoodthattherewasvariety.ThatfirstfallinRiverside,PolingaysiwasdetailedtopicktomatoesattheInstitute'sArlingtonfarm.ThechildrenwentfromRiversideinabigfarmwagon,enjoyingthetripimmenselyandmakingapicnicofitastheydidtheirwork.Therewerecowsatthefarm,andmanychickens.Themesachildrenstaredatthem,especiallythecattle,unusedastheyweretoanycattleexceptrangestock,andtheyenjoyedthechickens.Thecacklingandcrowing,thebusyscratchingforfood,fittedinwiththeirconceptoflife:dance,sing,thenattendtothebusinessofeating.

TheHopichildren,includingPolingaysi,seldommindedhavingtopeelpotatoes.Potatoeswereasplentifulasoranges,andthechildrencouldeatasmanysweet,rawpotatoesastheycouldhold,whilepeelingthebucketfulsthatwentintothehugecauldronstobecooked.

TherewasaclassroomatthefarmwherePolingaysilearnedagreatdealaboutvegetablesandfruits,aswellasroutinesubjectssuchasspellingandarithmetic.Agewasnotimportant.Littleonesandteenagersattendedtheclassesandworkedwherevertheywereassigned,enjoyingthefreshairandsunshine,andsatisfyingtheircuriosityaboutthislandofabundance.Theywerestillfollowingasetpattern,muchastheyhaddoneonthemesas,buttheirfieldofknowledgewasgraduallyexpanding.

Polingaysiwrotehomeaboutthewagonloadsoforanges,thefieldsof

watermelons,thesweetpotatoesandsquash,thecheese

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andbutter.Themissionarieswouldreadtheletterstoherparents.Shecouldimaginehermother'sreactiontoherreferencetousingbutter."Putter,"Sevenkacalledit,andeyeditwithdistaste,insistingthatitwaspoisonousandgoodonlyforputtingonone'sface.

PolingaysihadnodesiretoreturntoOraibiduringthesummervacationperiod.ShewaslearningatRiverside,andshewasearningalittlemoneywhichshehoardedcarefully,thinkingaheadtothatsomedaywhentherewouldbeenoughofitforsomelargeundertaking.

Herworkintheschoollaundrybroughtherintothenewadventureofsewing.Shebeganbydarningsocks,herinstructorbeingsoexactingthatmoreoftenthannotatfirst,Polingaysihadtotakeoutherstitchesandbeginallover.

Oncethatartwasmastered,shewentontopatchingandmending,andfinallytosewingnewmaterialsonthesewingmachine.Thatgaveheranidea.Shehadaknackforsewing;shewouldsewfortheothergirlsandchargethemforthework.Itwasasplendididea.Herteacherswerepleasedwithherabilitytomakeherownclothesandencouragedtheothergirlstotrustherwiththeirmaterials.Soonshewasmakingmorethanthesmallwageofthreedollarsperweek.

ShealmostdreadedthedaywhenherfouryearsatShermanwouldcometoacloseandshewouldreturntoherhome.Shewascertainshewouldnotlikeit.Shehadoutgrownvillagelife.ShehadburstlikeabutterflyfromtheconfiningchrysalisofherHopichildhood.

AnewmissionstationhadbeenbuiltnorthofthevillageofNewOraibi,andtherewerewhitehelpersthere.Anotherchild,alittlegirl,hadbeenborntoSevenka.Lydia,shehadbeennamed.ShewastobethelastofSevenka'schildren.Theolderbrother,Hugh,illforsomanyyears,hadgoneonintothelandofspirit.Alfred,theyoungestbrother,

waspreparingtoenterShermanInstitutewhereHomerandMatthewwereenrolled.

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Therewouldbemanyotherchanges,Polingaysiknew.Manyofherformergirlfriendshadmarried.Theywouldbeinterestednowintheirhomesandtheirbabies.Theywouldwanttotalkaboutplaquedesignsandpottery-making.Theywouldregaleherwithvillagegossipwhichnolongerinterestedher.

HermotherwouldbetalkingtoherabouteligibleyoungHopimenandurginghertomarryandsettledown.Butsheknewshewouldnotbehappyasapueblowife.Forallitsrichnessandbeauty,thepatternlifeoftheHopinolongerimpressedherwithitsimportance.Shewasmoreinterestedinlearningnewwaysoflivingandinlosingthefragmentsofthepastthatstillclungtoher.

Yetattimesshefeltagreatloneliness,anundefinedyearningforthesecurityofhomeandparentsandsetpatternsofbehavior.Howcarefreeherchildhoodhadbeen!Howsadthatshecouldneverrecapturethatsimplefreedom.

SometimeswhenthefogcameinfromthePacificandthescentoforangeandlemonblossomsthickened,PolingaysidreamedofArizona,feelingthecaressofthedesertwind,seeingthegreat,uncluttereddistances,thepinksand,thegolden-bronzesunsets,thesmilingfacesofherHopipeople.

Thenshewouldthinkoftheoneswhowouldlaughather,behindtheirblankets.Polingaysi,thelittleonewhowantedtobeawhiteman.Theywouldnotwanttohearabouthernewlife.Whatifshecouldsinglikeabird?Whatifshecouldcookandsewinthemannerofthewhiteman?ShewasnolongeratrueHopi.

Blownbythewindsofherownindecision,sheveeredfromoneideatotheother,needingastabilizinginfluenceandfindingnone.Shealmostenviedthegirlswholookedforwardtoreturninghomeandtakinguptheoldwaysofthevillage.Theywoulddressalittlebetter.

Theywouldunderstandmoreaboutwhatwasgoingonintheoutsideworld,buttheywouldbecontent

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withhomeandchildrenandroutineduties,withKachinadancingasentertainmentandgossipforidlehoursatthevillagespringbelowPumpkinseedHill.

Manytimessheaskedherselfangrilywhatitwasshewanted.Whatmustshehavetomakehercontentedwithlife?Shewasreachingout,butforwhat?

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FiveAlltoosoon,fromPolingaysi'spointofview,herfouryearsofschoolingatShermanInstitutecametoanend.Muchthoughshelovedherfamily,shedidnotrelishtheideaofgoinghometostay.ShehadmademanyfriendsinCalifornia.Shehadlearnedthewhiteman'swayoflivingandlikedit.Andshehadalsomadegreatstridesinthefieldofmusic.

Theclothesshepackedinasuitcaseforthetriphomewereneatandnew,productsofherskillinsewing.Asewingmachinewouldbeoneofherfirstpurchases,shepromisedherself.Shewouldmakegoodclothesforhermotherandtheyoungerchildren.

Thankstoherteacherfriend,shehadasmallnestegginthebank,andthismadetheoccasionlessdismal.Atleast,shewasnotreturningpenniless.Therewasthepromiseofafutureforher.Withmixedemotionsofapprehensionandanticipation,shetoldherbenefactorandotherfriendsgoodbyeandboardedthetrainforWinslowwhereherfatherwouldmeether.

ExcitementshookherwhenshesawtheSanFranciscoPeaksloomingagainstthesky.Flagstaff.AnotherhouroftravelandshewouldreachWinslow.

Herfatherwaswaiting,asmallfigurewitharedbandaroundhisblackhair.Hecametrottingovertogreetherwithasmileand

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awordofwelcome,tookherluggageandledhertothewagonnearthedepot.

"Youwentawayachild,"hesaid,"youhavereturnedawoman.Though,"headded,withasidewiseglance,"youdidnotgrowmuch,inspiteofallthatgoodfoodyouwrotelettersabout."

TherewastheLittleColoradotoford,thenthedirtroadpointedtothepinkHopiButtes,entrancetoHopiland.AfterthegreatgardensandluxuriantcitrusgrovesofCalifornia,thedesertdistancesamazedPolingaysi.Somuchland,solittlegrowth.

WhenfrommilesawayshesawtheoutlinesofThirdMesa,withitsstraggleofhousesontherockyeminence,shefeltatugatherheartstrings.Notforherself,butforherHopipeoplewasshetouched.Theyhadlivedinthisdesolationforcenturies,enduringtheworstthedesertcoulddoleouttothemratherthanleavetheirownland,theirlittlerockhouses,theirtinygardensinthesandywaste.

AtthattimeearlysummertheNimancornwaswavingitsgreenleaveslikebannersproclaimingtheunquenchablefaithofHopifarmersinthegoodnessofnature.Beanplantswerebeginningtogrowinshortrowsprotectedbybrushwindbreaks.Farmerswereatworkinthefields,hardlydistinguishablefromthescarecrowsthatflappedtheirragsinwarningtomaraudingbirds.InthepinkdunesaboutthreemilessouthofthevillageofNewOraibi,acottonwoodtreewithitsfeetinthesandwasunfurlinggreenleaves.Polingaysisawitandexclaimed.

"Youareright,itwasnottherebefore,"herfathersaid."Iplantedit.ItisgoodtoseeitputtingdownrootsandreachingitsbranchesupwardtoRainPeople.ItisoneofmanytreesIhaveplantedsinceImovedfromtheoldvillage.Iliketoseetreesgrow.Theshadeisalwayswelcome."Headdedthoughtfully,"Tomenandanimalsandbirds."

AtlasttheydroveintothehouseyardandsawSevenkacomingtomeetthem,thelittlegirl,Lydia,inherarms.Theyounger

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brotherwasathome.TheolderoneswereatRiverside,furtheringtheireducationastheirsisterhaddone.

Polingaysilookedatthelittlehouseandthewindsweptyardwherechickenspeckedatbitsofgrain.Thepovertyofthescenemadeherheartsick.Thislifewasnotforher.Shewouldneveragainbehappyintheoldpattern.Shehadgonetoofaralongthepathofthewhiteman.

SevenkahadplasteredthewallsandflooroftherockhouseinhonorofPolingaysi'shomecoming.Brightnewplaquesdecoratedthewalls.Newpotterywasontheshelves.Theironcookstove,whichservedthefamilyinsteadoftheusualcornerfireplace,hadapotofcornmealbubblingonit.Buttherewasnotable,andtherewerenobedsteads.

Polingaysiscoldedherparents.

"Whyhaven'tyouboughtwhiteman'sbedstosleepon?Andatable?YoushouldnotbeeatingonthefloorastheOldOnesdid.WhenIwasalittlegirlIdidnotmindsleepingonthefloorandeatingfromasinglebowlintowhicheveryonedipped.ButIamusedtoanotherwayoflivingnow,andIdonotintendtodothesethings."

"WhatshallIdowithmydaughter,whoisnowmymother?"Sevenkasighed,butPolingaysi'sfatherattackedtheproblemfromapracticalangle.Hewenttosomeonewhowasbuildingahouseandgotboardsenoughtomakeacrudebed.Onthisframeheplacedatickingbagfilledwithshreddedcornhusks.Itwasabedoffthefloorforthisdemanding,headstronggirl.Now,hewouldhavetomakeatable.HecouldseethatPolingaysiwouldgivehimnopeaceuntilthiswasdone.

HermotherhesitantlyledPolingaysiintothesmallstorageroomandliftedaclothfromastackofbeautifulplaques.

"TheseIhavemadeforyourwedding,"shesaid."Youhavereached

thatage.Youmustbegintothinkabouttakingamate."

Marriage!IthadnotenteredPolingaysi'smind.Shewantedto

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savemoney.Shewantedtobuildahouseofherownsomeday,butshewasnotreadyformarriage.Theimageofherself,downonherkneesinthegrindingroom,laboriouslyreducingthebluecornmealtofineflourforthepikiweddingbread,wasappallingtoPolingaysi.SowastheimageofherselfasatraditionalHopibride,cladinwrappedwhite-deerskinfootwear,bigwhiteovah,andfringedfertilitysash.

ShewasnotyetwillingtobecomealivingseedpodforherHopipeople.Shelovedchildren,butwasnotreadytoassumetheroleofmother.

Besides,althoughshehadhadsomeschoolgirlcrushes,shehadneverbeenseriouslyattractedtoanyyoungman.NorwouldshebewillingtomarryintraditionalHopifashion,completewithwashingofthehairandtwistingofthelocksofbrideandgroom,asherparentswouldexpecthertodo.Andfornoman,shetoldherselfwithspirit,wouldshegrindcornonherknees.

Withgenuinesorrowshelookedatthelovelyplaques.Sheknewthehoursoflabortheirmakinghadcosthermother.Inherchildhood,Polingaysihadoftenhelpedhermothergathersewistemsfortheplaqueribs,andrabbitbrushwhichhadtobepeeled,eachsmallstemseparately,withthefingernails,beforethisweavingmaterialcouldbedyedandused.And,asfarbackasshecouldremember,hermotherhadhadaplaqueinsomestageofdevelopment.

Onthisfirstdayathomeshewouldhavebeengladnottohurthermother'sfeelings,butthiscouldnotbe.Thereweretearsinhereyesassheslowlyshookherhead.

''Theyarenotforme,Mother.Sellthem.Buyfood.Dishes.Clothing.Therearemanythingsyouneed."

"Youareawoman,"hermothersaid,hervoiceuncertain."Youshouldhaveamanandbabies.Youshouldhaveahomeofyourown."

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''Iintendtohaveahomeofmyown,"Polingaysideclared."Iwillbuildahomeformyselfsomeday.Agoodhome."

Sevenkalookedsteadilyintotheflushedanddefiantfaceofherdaughter,andherownfacewassad.WhateveritwasshesawthereimplacableoppositiontoallthingsHopi,perhapsmadeherturnaway,weepingsilently.Gentlyshetookthewhiteclothinhertwohands,andslowlyshepulleditupoverherdeadhopes.

Polingaysiwouldnotgrindcorn,anditannoyedhertoseehermotheronherkneesdayafterday.Why,sheaskedSevenka,didn'tsheuseamachine?

Sevenkawasamazed.Shewasstrong,shesaid.Shehadgroundcornintomealeversinceshewasasmallchild.ItworriedherthatPolingaysifeltsostronglyaboutit.

"MotherCornhasfedyou,asshehasfedallHopipeople,sincethelong,longagowhenshewasnolargerthanmythumb.MotherCornisapromiseoffoodandlife.Igrindwithgratitudefortherichnessofourharvest,notwithcrossfeelingsofworkingtoohard.AsIkneelatmygrindingstone,Ibowmyheadinprayer,thankingthegreatforcesforprovision.Ihavereceivedmuch.Iamwillingtogivemuchinreturn,forasIhavetaughtyou,theremustalwaysbeagivingbackforwhatonereceives."Sheadded,inagentlychidingvoice,"Itissadthatthewhiteman'swayhascausedyoutoforgettheHopiway."

Ashamedathavingprovokedhermotherintothisdisplayofemotion,Polingaysistoodwithbowedhead.SheknewtheimportanceofcorntoaHopi.

"IpresentedyouwithyourfirstMotherCorn,"hergrandmotherhadtoldherlongago,andsheknewthesymbolismofthebirthritual.Aperfectearofwhitecornwasrequired.Onewithstraightrowsofkernelsthatgrewupoverthetipoftheear.Thebaby'sownMother

Corn,presentedatbirth,wasbathed

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withthechildinthesamewater,andcradledwithitduringthetwentydaysfollowingbirth.Itwaspresentedwiththechildatthenamingceremonyonthemesa'sedge,whenthenewentityreceiveditsspiritual"Iam,Iam,"withablessingofgoldenpollenfromthesacredcorn.

Foramomenttheoldway,withitsdepthofmeaning,beckoned,butthenewwaywon.

ThemissionarieshadtoldPolingaysitostopbeingaheathen,insistingthatthesuperstitiousritualsshouldbetossedofffirstofall.Shehadtriedtoobey.Ofwhatbenefitwoulditbetohertorevertnowtotheoldwaysofherpeople?Thewhiteman'swaywasgood.Ithadprovidedforheraneducation,food,clothing,whiteman'sskills.Yes,andmoneyinthebankwhatseemedanenormoussumtoPolingaysi,whohadverylittleconceptionofmoneyanditstruevalue.

TheolderHopipeoplewerelaughingatherandridiculecutsaHopitothequick.Howmuchmorewouldtheylaughifshegaveupwhatshehadfoughtforandreturnedtovillageways,justanotherfoolishschoolgirlwhocouldn'tstickwiththewhitelife,buthadtocomerunninghometoherparents,backtothesecurityoftribalways.

"Ihaven'tforgotten,Mother,"shesaid,liftingherhead."ButIhavegonetoofar.Ihavesetmycourse.AsyoutoldmethefirstdayIwenttoschool,thereisnoturningback.

"IhavetheHopireverenceforcorn.Irespectitasourancestralfood,butselltheplaquesjustthesame,forI'llneverneedthem.Iknowyoumadethembecauseofyourloveforme,andIthankyou,Mother.Asquali."

Asquali.ThatHopiwordfor"thankyou"touchedthemother'stenderheart.

"YouarestillaHopi,"shemurmured."YouwillnotforgetthepatternlifeoftheHopi."

ChimneypotswereusedasstovepipesinOldOraibi

AHopiwomanshapesastoragejar

Polingaysi'sfather,FredQoyawayma,atOldOraibi,ashelookedatthetimeofthebirthofhisdaughter

FredQoyawaymawithH.R.VothatNewton,Kansas,whenheaccompaniedthemissionaryonatriptothatMennonitecommunity

ChiefTawaquaptewa,ofOldOraibi,whodiedin1960attheageof106

ChildrenofOldOraibi,aroundthetimeoftheestablishmentofthefirstschoolbelowthemesa

PolingaysiwiththechildrenofalatergenerationinherclassroomatNewOraibi

AstreetinOldOraibiintheearlyyearsofthiscentury

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Afterthat,Polingaysi'sparentsseemedtostoptryingtochangeher.Instead,withalltheenergyinhersturdybodyandforcefulmind,shesetaboutchangingthem.She''talked''atableintothehouse,andwithherownmoneyboughtdishes,pots,andpansfromthestore.Hermotherpreferredtouseherownhomemadepotterybowlsandcookingpots,butshewasproudofPolingaysi'sgenerosityandshowedthenewkitchenwaretoherfriendssomewhatapologetically.

"Idon'tneedthem,butourdaughteristryingtomakewhitemenofus,"shetoldthem.

CookingwasapointofconflictbetweenPolingaysiandhermother.Sevenkawasdeterminedtoclingtotheoldways;Polingaysiwasasdeterminedtobakecakesandcookotherfoodsforwhichherparentsneverhaddevelopedaliking.SevenkawashorrifiedwhenPolingaysisacrificedthreepreciouseggstomixthesweetbatterforacake.Threeeggs,stirredintoapotofcornmealmush,wouldfeedanentirefamily!

"Youareasfoolishasawhitewoman,"shescolded."Howcanyouwastefoodlikethat?"

PolingaysiwasnotthenwiseenoughtoseethatherlessonsinhomeeconomicswerewrongforherasaHopi.Notthatitwasthefaultofherteacherswho,beingwhite,hadnoconceptionofthetrueneedsofIndianpeople.HowcouldtheyknowwithwhatrespectthefrugalHopipeoplelookeduponfoodofallkinds?Howcouldtheyknow,orcaretoknow,thateveningoodseasonsthespecterofstarvationwasalwaysbeforethedesertdwellers?

Polingaysiwasespeciallybitterabouttheuseofceremonialfoods,suchaspikami,whichallgoodHopisprepareforservingduringtheKachinadances."FoodfortheDevils,"someofhermissionaryfriendscalledit,andinherdesiretoacceptthewhiteman'sreligionaswellashisotherbenefits,Polingaysiagreed.

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DuringtheHomecomingDanceofthatJulysherefusedtositatthetablewithherfamilyondanceday.

"IwillnoteatfoodsacrificedtotheDevil,"shedeclaredstiffly,denyingherselffoodofwhichshewasreallyfond.

HermotherlookedsadlyatPolingaysi'sfather.Helplessly,heshookhishead.TheywishedtoavoidwoundingPolingaysi'sspirit,fortooffenditwouldbetoopencracksintheirownbeingsthroughwhichevilmightenter.Buttheydidnotlikeherimposinguponthemherstrangewhiteman'sbeliefs.Theironlyrecoursewastoavoidherasmuchaspossible,allowinghertogoherownwayunopposed.

Gradually,Polingaysibecamealmostastrangerwithinherownhome.Villagewomen,droppinginforachatwithSevenka,sidledpasttheproudPolingaysiandspokeinwhisperstohermother.

Shewaspeelingapplesforapieonedaywhenaneighborcamein.Awareoftheguest'sinquisitiveglancesbutdeterminednottobeannoyedbythem,shewentonwithherwork.Shehadslicedthepeeledapplesintotherichcrust,andwasdumpingthepeelingsandapplecoresintoabuckettobethrownouttothechickens,whentheneighborwhisperedtohermother,"Whatisityourdaughtermakes?"

"Shemakesthewhiteman'spie,"Sevenkawhisperedback.

"Butwhydoessheputthegoodpeelingsinthescrappail?"

"Shethrowsthemaway."Sevenka'svoicewassadandhalfasigh.

"Throwsthemaway!"Theneighborwasstrickenintobriefsilence.Then,"Why?"

"Sheisbeingawhiteman.Itistheirwaytowastefood,youknow."

"Is-u-deel"theneighborexclaimed."Howshameful.Thosegood,sweetpeelings.Thosefat,blackseedsinthecores.Istherenothing

youcandotochangeherwastefulways?"

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"No.Thereisnothing,"Sevenkasaid,voiceheavywithresignation.

Polingaysihadnotbeenhomeverylongbeforeshebegantoberestlessandunhappy.Hercookingprowesswasunappreciated.Moreoftenthannotshewastheonlyonewhocaredtoeatthefancypiesandcakesshebaked.

Asforherreligiousviews,hermotheronlyfaintlyunderstoodherlecturesandhadnot,atthattime,developedanydesiretobecomeaconverttoChristianity.Herfatherhadmoreinsight,thankstohislongassociationwiththeReverendVoth,buthelovedtheHopiways,thecolorfulKachinadancesandtheHopiideals.

Polingaysifacedherfuture.TheultimatetragedywouldbetobeforcedtoslipbackintothetraditionalHopivillagelife,butasitwasshewasachievingnothing,standingstill,andmakingherselfandherparentsmiserablemeanwhile.

TheVothsnolongerlivedacrossOraibiWash,buttheReverendJacobFreyandhisfamily,alsooftheMennonitefaith,hadtakenoverthemissionwork.TheylivedatMoenkopi,aboutfortymilesaway.FredQoyawaymamadeatriptotheirhomeandconfidedhisproblemtoJacobFrey.TheFreysweresympathetic.Theyofferedasolution:letPolingaysicometothem,liveintheirhome,helpwithcookingandhousework,andinreturncontinuetostudyundertheirtutelage,thisstudytoincludereligion,aswellasothersubjects.

Polingaysiwasgratefultoherfather.Forthefirsttimesherealizedthathehadagoodbrainaswellascleverhands.Hethoughtaproblemthrough,thenacteduponwhateverguidancehereceived.Inasense,hewasmoreworldlythanotherHopimen.HehadnotonlybeenprivilegedtoworkandtalkwiththeReverendVothandMrs.Voth,buthehadmadeatripwithVoth

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toKansasandhadseenalittleofthewhiteman'sworld.Hehadabetterideaofthediscontentofhisactivedaughter,anditsbasis,thanhisvillage-boundwifewouldeverhave.

AgainlifeseemedtobeopeningoutbeforetheHopigirl,Polingaysi.ShelookedforwardeagerlytolivingwiththeFreys.

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SixPolingaysipackedhermeagerbelongingsandplacedthemintherattletrapwagontowhichherfatherhadhitchedhispairofrough-coateddeserthorses.ButbeforetheysetoutfortheFreys,fatheranddaughterwalked,atthefather'ssuggestion,acrossthefieldneartheirhome.

"Youtalkmuchaboutbuildingahouseofyourown,"Polingaysi'sfathersaid."Iwantyoutoknow,beforeyouleaveusagain,thatthereisroomonmylandforallmychildren.Iwillcontinuetoplantmycropshereuntilyouarereadytobuild,butyoumayhavethisplotofland,ifyoulikethelocation."

Thesiteheindicatedwasabouttwoblocksfromhisrockhouse,asawhitemanwouldmeasurethedistance.Alow,sandyhillrosetothewest.Thelandslopedgraduallytotheeast.OraibiWashwasaboutahalf-mileaway,andontheothersideofthewash,acrossagenerousstretchofdesertlandonwhichtherewereafewgardens,thegreatmesaPolingaysicalledDawakiSunPointwasamassivebackdropcrownedwithranksofjunipertrees.

Shehadvisitedthemesatopwithagroupofotherchildrenalongtimebeforeandrememberedtheremainsofstone-walledhousesthattoldtheirsilentstoryofaprehistoricPueblopeoplewhohadlivedthereformanyyears.Therewere,sheremembered,greatquantitiesofbrokenpotteryoverwhichtheever-shifting

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desertsandmoved,slowlyscouringthem.Shehadbeeninterestedinthedesignsonthepotsherds,andthequalityofthebakedclay.

Beyondthesandduneswiththeirlonecottonwoodandtheevenlineofthelowbuttes,rosethedarkblueofbuttesthatseemedtomarktheextremesoutherndistancesofHopiland.TheSanFranciscoPeaksdominatedthesouthwesternskyline.Beyondayoungorchardofappleandpeachtrees,beyondtheriseofthesandyhill,werevillagehouses,withtheoldvillageofOraibionthemesaabove.YellowPumpkinseedHillthrustitsbrightcliffsintothenorthernportionofthevillagebeyondthetradingpost.

Polingaysiturnedslowly,notingthenearbystory-and-a-halfstonehomeofAnnaandCharlesandtheirgrowingbroodofyoungsters.Theywouldbeneighbors.Shemerelyglancedatthedisintegratingvillageonthemesa.ShehadleftOldOraibibehindherwhenshewenttoRiverside.Letitstaybehindher.

Infrontofher,asshefacedeast,therewasatree.Aslenderyoungcottonwood,daintilyshakingoutitslacysummerleaves.Itwasthetreethatheldherattentionandgaveherasenseofpermanence.Hereshewouldputdownroots,too.Shewouldgrowwiththetree,restinginitsshade,listeningtothemusicofthewindinitsbranches,watchingthewildbirdsbuildtheirnestsandfeedtheiryoung.

"Ilikethisplace,"shetoldherfather."ThisiswhereIshallbuildmyhouse.Herebesidethetreeyouplanted."

Nowshehadabuildingsiteandagoal.Assoonastherewasmoneyenoughinhersavingsaccount,shewouldbegin.

OnoneofPolingaysi'sbriefvisitshomeshehadmettheReverendFreyandhiswife.TheReverendFreyhadcometoOraibitostudytheHopilanguageundertheReverendH.R.Voth,whosedeepinterestin

theHopinationandtheirculturalbackgroundhadwonhimnationaldistinctioninarcheological

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andanthropologicalcircles,aswellasthehatredofmanyofthemoreconservativeHopis.

BothMr.andMrs.FreywereofGermanextraction,fair-skinned,blue-eyed,light-haired,andpossessedofaquietkindnessofmanner.PolingaysirememberedMrs.Freyasabeautifulyoungwoman,andthemissionaryasatall,slender,thin-facedscholarlymanwithfirmfeaturesandaprominentnose.WhentheycameouttomeetherandherfatherontheirarrivalatMoenkopi,shefoundthemverylittlechanged.Alittleolder,thatwasall.

Theirhome,builtonaterracedhillside,waswellfurnishedandorderly.Theirthreechildrenwerefriendly.Immediately,Polingaysiwasmadetofeelnotonlythatshewaswelcome,butthatshebelongedtherewiththeFreyfamily,asapartofit.

Shehadbeentorturingherselfwithquestions.Didshebelonginthewhiteman'sworld,orshouldshetrytocastasideherlearningandreturntotheeasyoldways?Insecureinspiteofherprogressinschool,shewaveredunhappilybetweenhertwoworlds,neverseemingtobelongentirelytoeither.TheattitudeoftheFreyslefthernoquestions.

"Nowyouareoneofus,apartofourfamily.Youmaybeoneofourchildren,justasTheodore,Salina,andWilburareourchildren,andyoumaycallusMotherFreyandFatherFrey,ifyouwill,"Mrs.Freytoldher.

Polingaysifeltagreatwellingupofloveinherheartforthegenerousmissionaries.

"Iwill,"shesaid."Oh,Iwill."

Theywerebig-heartedpeople.Theygaveherthesameunderstandingloveandfirmdisciplinethattheygavetheirownchildren.Mrs.Frey

neveraskedanythingofPolingaysithatshewouldnotexpectfromherowndaughter.TheReverendFreyneverforgottobringhomefromFlagstafforWinslowgiftsfortheHopigirlaswellasforhisownchildren.

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TheychangedhernamefromBessietoElizabethRuth,totheconfusionofherHopifriendsandrelatives.Oneofheraunts,askedhowBessiewasgettingalongatMoenkopi,saiduncertainly,"Bessie?Itseemslikesheishappythere,buttheydon'tcallingherBessienomore."

"Oh?Whatdotheycallhernow?"

"Ithink,"saidtheaunt,solemnlybewildered,"theycallingherLiss-a-bessie,now."

TheReverendFreywasaKansasfarmladturnedmissionary.AstudentofGreekandHebrew,hehadabrilliantandversatilemindandwasabletocopewithmanyproblems,fromfarmingandbuildingtopsychologyandmedicine.LiketheReverendVoth,hehadlearnedtospeaktheHopilanguagefluently.

TheHopipeoplewerenotatfirstdisposedtobefriendlywiththeFreys.ThiswasdueinparttotheirunfortunateexperiencewiththeSpanishpriests'attempttoconvertthepueblodwellerstoCatholicism,butlargelybecausetheystillsmartedunderthemethodsoftheReverendVoth,whohaddelvedintotheirmostesotericritualsandmadehisfindingspublic.

TheHopishadrefusedtogiveanyoftheirgoodlandforamissionsiteandhad,instead,grudginglyallowedtheFreystobuildonahillsideonwhich,sotheythought,nothingcouldbegrown.

TheyhadnottakenintoaccounttheReverendFrey'stalentforfarming.ThismanrecognizednodifficultiesindoingtheLord'swork.Cheerfullyheterracedtherockyhillside,pipedwaterfromaspring,irrigatedhissmallplot,andraisedcropsasgoodasthoseoftheHopifarmersnearhim.

Theywatchedhisgardengrow,concealingtheiradmirationthoughtheywereimpressedbyhisskill.OftenHopifarmerswithmental,spiritual,orpracticalproblemsusedthegardensasanexcusetowalkupthehillandtalktothefriendlymissionary.

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InthoseearlydaystheReverendFreymadehistripsoverthereservationinafarmwagonoverwhichhehadaffixedwagonbowsandawhitecanvascover.Always,inseason,hecarriedwithhimontheseexcursionsgiftsofvegetablesfromhisgardenasymbolicsharingoffoodwiththebrown-skinnedpeoplehehadcometoserve.Mrs.Freysharedherdeliciousandfragrantloavesoffreshbreadwiththevillagehousewives,andfedallwhocametothemissionhungryandthereweremany.

TheFreyswerekindandtheywerehonest,buttheirverygoodnesswasathorninthefleshofacertainelementinthevillageofMoenkopi.Taleswerespreadthathadnofoundationinfact,andmanyofthepeopletheFreyshadhelpedturnedagainstthem.

TheFreysweretrying,intheirgentleway,toexploitthem,theseunderminingHopissaid.Watchoutforthem.Theyweretwo-hearts.Theymighteventurnouttobewitches,pretendingtodogood.Didn'ttheReverendFreygoaboutgivingmedicinetosomeofthepeople,anddidn'tsomeofthosepeopledie?

Polingaysihadrelativesinthevillageanuncle,severalcousins.TheyrepeatedthetalestheyhadheardabouttheFreys,halfconvincedtheyweretrueandwonderingwhatPolingaysiwouldsayaboutthem.Theinjusticeofitwasenoughtothrowherintoafuryandherdenialsofthevicioustaleswereheated.SheneverfailedtoreturntothemissionboilingwithangerbecausetheFreyswoulddonothingtosquelchsuchgossiping.TheywerepersecutingtheFreys,thosetale-spreadingHopis,andshouldbepunishedforit.

TheReverendFreyalwaysheardheroutwithgravecourtesy,andwhenshehadstoppedlecturinghimforallowinghimselftobeliedabout,hewouldassureher,smiling,hisblueeyestwinkling,thathewasnotthejudgeofthosepeople,thataliewasnotthetruthandmouthingitcouldnotmakeitmorenorlessthanthelieitwas.Leave

themtoGod,headvisedthebristlingyoungchampion.LetGodjudgetheminHisowngoodtime.

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Thecurrentofanimositybecameafermentthatdevelopedintoaplotagainstthelifeofthemissionary.AgroupofthemenmetandagreedthatFreyshouldbewaylaid,lassoed,anddraggedtodeath.

NowPolingaysiandvillagefriendsoftheFreysbecameterrified.AdelegationcametotheReverendFrey,begginghimtoleaveMoenkopibeforesomethingterriblehappenedtohim.Heheardthemsadly,butwasnotswayedbytheirfear.Calmly,heassuredthemthathistrustwasinGod.Ifthisthingwastobe,itwastobe.Hewasnotafraidoftheoutcome.

Itwasnotlonguntiltheattemptwasmade.TheReverendFreywaswalkingpasttheschoolhousewhenaridercamethunderingalongtheroad,twirlingalariatinonehand.Themissionarysawhim,butmadenoefforttorunaway.Theloopwasthrown,butfellshort.Theriderrodeon,theropetrailing.

FriendlyHopisrushedtothesideofthemissionaryandnosecondattemptwasmade.TheincidentwouldhavegoneunreportedexceptforoneoftheHopifriends.Theculpritwasapprehendedandbroughtupfortrial,andhewouldhavebeenimprisonedhadnotthemissionarymadeapleaforhisrelease,declaringthatthemanhadlearnedhislessonandwouldnotrepeathiserror.

"HewalkedwithGodandhetalkedwithGod."ThewordsoftheoldhymncametoPolingaysi'smindasshethoughtoftheFreysandtheirlifeinMoenkopi.Thereonthesunburnedmesa,withtheruinsofOldOraibiholdinguptheiremptyroomslikecupscryingtobefilledoncemorewithlife,shehummedthesong.

MorethanonceduringherlifewiththeFreys,shehadheardtheReverendFreytalkingwithGod.Sometimesinthenight,

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hearinghisvoice,shehadlookedoutandhadseenhimwalkingthemissioncourtyard,bentalittleforward,hishandsclaspedbehindhim,asheplacedhisproblemsinthehandsoftheLord.Alwaysonthosenights,hehadaskedforthewelfareoftheHopipeople.Helovedthem.Morethantheyeverknew,helovedthem.

Knowinghowhardheworked,inthegarden,inthemissionfield,inhisstudywherehewastranslatinghymnsintoHopiforhiscongregation,PolingaysiwishedhewouldgotobedinsteadofwastingtimeonthosestubbornHopis.How,sheaskedherself,blinkingbackangrytears,couldanyBahanalovethemsomuch?Whydidhecarewhathappenedtothem?

Frey'sministrywasfirstandlastapracticalone.NeverexceptononemomentousoccasiondidPolingaysiseehimresorttothedramaticinhisteaching.Thatwasthedaythathewentthroughthevillagewearingdarkglassesandcarryingalanternwithasmokedchimney,itslightbarelyvisiblethroughtheblackenedglass.

TheHopipeople,filledwiththoughtsofthesupernatural,watchedhimapprehensively.

''Duwe-BahanaWhiteManWhoLivesontheTerracehasgonecrazy,''theywhisperedtoeachother,"ormaybehehasbeenbewitched."Andtheywerefearful,yetcouldnotquitebelievethismisfortunehadovertakentheirgoodfriend.

TheReverendFreymadenoattempttotalktothem.Hecompletedthetriparoundthevillagequietlyandreturnedhome.HeknewhisHopipeople.Hewaswillingtowaituntiltheircuriositygotthebetterofthem.Thateveningtheybegandroppingin,onebyone,onvariouspretexts.TheReverendFreytoldPolingaysitoshowthemintohisstudy,thathemighttalkwiththem.Shewaspuzzledandresentful,knowingtheyweretheretosatisfytheirowncuriosity,butshedidas

shewastold.

Mostofthecallerseventuallyasked,"Whydidyoucarrya

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lightedlanternwhilethesunwasshining?Andwhy,ifyouneededalanterntohelpyoufindyourway,didyoucoveryoureyeswithblackglasses?"

"Iwassearchingforthelight,"theReverendFreytoldthem."Asyouknow,manhasstarlighttoguidehim.Hehaslanternlightfordarknightswhenthestarshidebehindclouds.Hehasmoonlight.Yetalltheseguidinglightsarefeebleincomparisonwithsunlight.Thesunisgood.Itslightispowerful.Itisalightbydayformankind.Butthereisanotherlightthatisnotseenwiththeeyesbecauseitshinesinmen'ssouls.ThatisthelightofSpirit.Thelightthatguidesusalongourspiritualpaths.Iwassearchingforthatlight."

Thatlittlesermontouchedthepeopleofthevillageasnosermonpreachedfromapulpitcouldhavedone.Itwastoldandretoldthatnightandformonthstocome.

Likemanyconvertstoanewreligion,Polingaysiwasoverlyzealous.Shewasyoung,shewascourageous,shewasbrashbrashenoughtochallengeherHopieldersandthewholebeautifullyinterwovenculturalpatternofHopilife.Hadsheatthattimebeenabletodoso,shewouldhaveabolishedalltheage-oldrites,thekivarituals,thesprinklingofsacredcornmeal,andespeciallythemakingofpahos,orprayersticks.

Atthesametime,temperingherradicalapproach,shehadadeepandunsatisfiedcuriosityconcerningtheverythingsthatarousedinherthestrongestresentment.AsshewalkedacrossthefieldonedayaftervisitingherfamilyatNewOraibi,shesawapahothrustintothesandonalittlehillock,itssingleeaglefeatherflutteringattheendofashortlengthofwhitecottonstring.

Prayersticks,eitherthelong,wandlikeoneswithmanyfeatherstiedtothem,ortheshort,sharpenedstickscalledpahos,areheldin

reverencebytheHopipeople.Forfourdaysafterthe"plant-

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ing"ofaprayer,thesesticksarethoughttopossesstheessenceoftheofferedprayerandtobeverypowerfulandsacred.Todisturbonebeforeithaslostitspoweristocourtdisaster.Accident,evendeath,Polingaysihadbeentaught,mightresult.

Wellknowntoherwasthestoryofthewhitewomanwhotookprayersticksfromashrine,thenfellandbrokeherleg.BehindthisaccidenttheHopipeoplesawtheworkoftheinvisibleforces.Thespiritshadresentedheractionandhadtrippedher,theywereconvinced.

Asshebenttopullthepahofromthesand,Polingaysifeltawaveofsuperstitiousfearsweepoverher.ButshewasaChristiannow,sheremindedherself,andneednotfearthemagicinastickwithafeatheronit.Defiantly,shecarriedithomeandchallengedherfatherwithit.

"WhatdoesthisstickmeantoyouandtotheHopipeople?"sheaskedwithmorearrogancethansherealized."Tome,pah!Itmeansnothing.Ithasnopower.It'sjustastickwithabitofcornhuskandafeatherattachedtoit.Whydoyou,inthisdayandage,whenyoucanhavethemessageoftheBible,stillhavefaithinsticksandfeathers?"

Herfather,trueHopithathewas,recoiledfromtheprofferedpaho,refusingtotouchit.Therewasaworriedlookinhiseyes.

"Mustyouknow?"heasked.

"Ofcourse,Imustknow,"Polingaysideclared."Whyshouldn'tIknow?"

"Layitonthetable,"herfathersaid,"andIwilltellyou."

Sheplacedthestickontheroughboardtablewhichshehadgoadedthelittlemanintomaking,andthetwoofthembentoverit.

"Doyouseethatblue-green,chipped-offplacehereatthetop?"herfatherasked,pointing."Thatisthefaceoftheprayerstick.It

representsmossyplaces,moisture.Nowthisbelowisthebodyof

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theprayerstick.Aredcolor,asyoucansee,likeourcoloredsand.Thatrepresentstheearth.Moisturetotheearth,then,iswhatthepahoisfor."

"Aprayerforrain?"

"That,yes,andmore.Thestickcarriesabundleonitsback."

"Thebitofcornhusk,boundwithstring?Whatisitfor?Whatdoesitmean?"

"Idon'tknowwhatisboundupinthecornhusk,"herfathersaid,"andIwon'topenittofindout.However,Ithinkyoumightfindtheresomegrassseeds,apinchofcornmeal,apinchofpollen,andadropofhoney."

"But,why,why?"Polingaysidemandedimpatiently."Whatgooddoesitdo?"

ThelittleHopimanhadbeencarvingaKachinadollfromthedriedrootofacottonwood.Heturnedawayandwentbacktohiswork,sittingdowncrossleggedonthefloorandpickinguphisknifeandtheunfinisheddoll.Polingaysistoodlookingdownathim,waitingforhisanswer.Hethoughtbeforehebegantospeak.

"Thegooditdoesdependsonmanythings,mydaughter.Itdependsmostofallonthefaithoftheonewhomadethepaho.IfallthosethingsImentionedareinsidethelittlebundlethatitcarriesonitsback,itwouldmeanthattheonemakingthepahoplanteditinMotherEarthasaprayerforaplentifulharvest,withmoistureenoughtohelpEarthproducefullearsofcorn,plumpbeans,sweetmelons."Helookedupatherandhissmallfacewasworried."Surelyyouhavenotforgottenthemeaningofthefeather?Feathersrepresentthespiritsthatareinallthings.Thisonerepresentsthespiritthatisintheprayerthepahooffersup."

Polingaysiturnedawayandtookthepahoinherhands.Abouttotearopenthecornhusk,shelookeddowntoseeherfather'shandsstilledandhorrorinhisexpression.Suddenlyshecouldnot

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openthepaho'streasurewithouthispermission.Shecouldnotflyinthefaceoftraditiontothatextent,knowingitwouldoffendhisspirit,howeversilentheremained,howeverlittlehereproachedheropenly.

"MayIopenit?"

Herfatherbenthishead,possiblyquestioningtheproprietyofsuchanactionandfearingtheharmitmightdohimandhisdaughter.Afteramomentofhesitation,hesighed,saying,"Itseemswellweathered.Ithinkitismorethanfourdaysold.Ifso,itspurposehasbeenservedandthepowerhasleftit.Useyourlefthand."

Gently,inspiteofherpretendedscorn,Polingaysiopenedthebitofwrappedcornhusk.Ithadbeenfoldedwhilestillgreenintoatinytriangle.Inthislittlepouchtherewasabitofmaterialaboutthesizeofapea.Seeds,cornmeal,pollen,heldtogetherwithhoney,asherfatherhadpredicted.

"Can'tyouseethere'snothingofvalueinhere?"Polingaysicried.

"Nottoyou,"herfatheragreed."Nottome.Buttotheonewhomadeitinprayer."

Shewouldhavequestionedhimfurther,buthetookhisworkandwentoutside,hisfaceenigmatic.

"Forpity'ssake,Mother,"Polingaysiburstout,turningtoSevenkawhohadbeenworkingquietlyonabasketduringthediscussion,"doeseverythinginthelifeofaHopihaveahiddenmeaning?Why,forinstance,shouldIusemylefthandtoopenthatthing?"

"Itseemsfoolishtoyoubecauseyouareyounganddonotunderstandeverything,"hermothersaidpatiently."PerhapsyouarefoolishbecauseyoudonotunderstandHopiways,thoughyouareaHopi.Iwilltellyouaboutthelefthand.

"Thelefthandisontheheartsideofthebody.Itisthehand

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thatmovesmostslowly.Itselects,insteadofgrabbingastherighthanddoes.Itiscleaner.Itdoesnottouchthemouthduringtheeatingoffood,nordoesitcleanthebodyafterreleaseofwastematerials.

"DoyourememberwatchingourmedicinemantheManWithEyesathiswork?Inhishealingritesandalsoinhisreligiousceremoniesheusesthelefthand,forthosereasonsIhavejustgivenyou.Thelefthand,then,isthehandthatisoftheheartandthespirit,notofnatureandtheearth."

Polingaysistruggledtodenythebeautyofthewordshermotherhadspoken.Shesoughtascoffinganswer,butfoundnone.Afteramomenttheolderwomancontinued.

"OnemorethingIwilltellyouaboutthepahos.Theymustbekeptfreeofthewhiteman'swaysiftheyaretohavethefullpowerofoldtimes.ThatiswhyHopipeopledonotsharpenthemtoapointwithwhiteman'ssteelblades,butgrindthemtosharpnessonsandstone."

AtthatmomentPolingaysisawoneofhermother'sbrotherspassingthewindow.Heknewnothingofthediscussionandshehadnodesiretoreopenit.Withherlefthandsheplacedthepahoonthewindowsill.

"Polingaysi!"theoldmancried,hisfacecrinklingintoabigsmileofwelcome."Itisagreattreattomyspirittoseeyouaftersolongatime.Wearealwayshappytoseeourchildcomehome,evenifshedoesmakeussitatawoodenplatformwhenweeat."

Polingaysilostsomeofhercontentiousnessandlaughed.Hehadalwayscomplainedaboutsittingatthetable,insistingthathecouldnotkeephisfeetwarmwhilehewaseatingunlesshesatonthem,Hopi-fashion.Herlittlegrandmotherhadbeencompletelymystifiedbythetable,andthoughPolingaysihadpatientlyexplaineditsuse,theoldladyhadlaboriouslyclimbedupontoit,insteadofseatingherself

onthewoodenbenchthatservedasachair.

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Shelookedatheruncleandthoughtofallthenewideasshehadgleanedduringherlifeamongwhitepeople.Theoldmanhadnodesiretoshareherknowledge.Tohimtheoldwaywasbest.Heaskedlittleoflife:enoughfoodtokeepthebreathinhisthin,wornoldbody,alittleheatinthefireplace,adrinkofwaterwhenhewasdry.

Itwasshewhowasforeverholdingouthercuptobefilledwithknowledge.

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SevenInthetraditionalHopipattern,childrenareadvised,instructed,scolded,andsometimespunished,bytheirmaternaluncles.Polingaysi'srelationswithhermother'sbrothershadbeenpleasant,butaftershebecameamemberoftheFreyhousehold,herolduncleinMoenkopivillagebeganshowingdisapprovalofher.Cousinsrepeatedsmallremarkshehadmadeaboutherandshebecameincreasinglyawareofhisannoyance.

Onedayhesentwordforhertocomevisithim.Shewent,tofindhiminastateofindignation.Hebeganscoldingatonce.

"Youproudandstubborngirl!WhyareyoustrayingfromtheHopiwayoflife?Don'tyouknowitisnotgoodforaHopitobeproud?Haven'tItoldyouaHopimustnotpretendtoholdhimselfabovehispeople?Whydoyoukeeptryingtobeawhiteman?YouareaHopi.Gohome.MarryintheHopiway.Havechildren."Hiseyeswereangryandhismouthcontemptuous."IhavesaidyouwereHopi,butyouarenolongeratrueHopi.Youdon'tknowtheHopiway.Inayearorso,evenifyoudogobacktoOraibi,youwon'tknowanything.Leavethesewhitepeoplewhoareleadingyouawayfromyourownbeliefs.Go.Gonow."

TearsstreameddownPolingaysi'scheeksasshelistenedtotheman'sbitterwords.Allherinnerconfusion,allherpainfulindecision,swelledinherbreastuntilshecouldbearitnolonger.Shelashedbackathim.

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"Iwon't!Iwon'tgobacktothelifeofapagan.Never,neveragain.I'veworkedforthiseducationyouridicule.AtRiverside,IscrubbedmilesofdirtyfloorswhileIwaslearningalittleaboutreadingandwritingandarithmetic.AfterIlearnedtosew,Imadedressesforothers,bendingoverthesewingmachinewhiletheothergirlsslept,toearnmoneyformyowndresses.

"I'veworkedhardforeverythingIhave.Ithasnotbeeneasyformetolearnthisnewwayofliving.DoyouthinkI'llgobacktosleepingonthefloorandeatingoutofasinglepot?DoyouthinkIwanttohaveahouseholdofchildrenwhoarealwayshungryandinrags,asIwasinmychildhood?No!Idon'tcarewhatyouthinkofme.Idon'tcarewhatmyHopipeoplethink.Notanymore.I'mgoingtokeeponlearning,nomatterhowmuchyoudespisemeforit."

Tremblingviolently,sheturnedonherheelandlefthishouse,amazedathertemerity.Howcouldshehavedaredtalkinthosedefianttermstoanuncle?Itfrightenedher.Shecouldseethechasmbetweenhertwoworldswidening;hiswordshadstunglikethelashesoftheWhipperKachinaonthedayofherinitiationintotheKachinacult.

Shehadexpectedthoseinitiatorylashes.OnlyHopichildreninitiatedintothePowamuafraternityescapethem.Shehadlookedforwardtothemasanopeningofthedoortowisdom.

AsshewalkedswiftlytowardtheFreyhomeonthehillside,smartingundertheinjusticeofheruncle'sreproaches,sherecalledthedayofherinitiation.

Feelingimportantandexcited,shehadwalkedbetweenherceremonial"parents"tothekiva,hershoulderblanketclutchedclosetoshieldherbodyfromtheFebruarychill.Thearmsoftheladderhadseemedtoreachouttoher,andshehadgoneintothemanddowntherungsintothedimwarmthofthekiva.

Otherinitiatessatontheplasteredstonebenchbetweentheirsponsors,feetdrawnup,simulatingyoungeaglesinthenest.Be-

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foreshejoinedthemshesawthefeathersdanglingfromapegonthewall,andthebeautifullittlesandmosaicbeneaththem.Itwasonlyaftershewasseatedthatshesawthelargersandpaintingonwhichshewouldlaterstandforwhipping.

Shebegantobeafraid.Theotherchildrenalsowerefearful.Thenanoldman,nakedexceptforaG-string,camedowntheladderandbeganaddressingtheinitiates.Hespokerapidlyandinlowtones.Althoughshelistenedintently,Polingaysicouldnothearallofhiswords,butsherealizedthathewastellingtheancienthistoryoftheHopisandoftheirmigrationsfromthebeginning.

Therewasanairofexpectancyonthepartoftheolderpeopleastheoldmanleftthekiva,andsuddenlytherewasafearfuldinatthekivaopening,asoundofrunningfeet,abeatingofyuccalashesagainstthestandard.

Heartsracing,thecandidatesforinitiationstaredatthekivaopening.TwoHuKachinas,theirbodiespaintedblackwithwhitespots,rusheddowntheladdercarryingarmfulsofyuccalashes.Theyworenothingexceptredmoccasins,breechclout,mask,andfoxskinruff.Themaskswereblackandbulging-eyed,withhornsateachside,whitespotsonthecheeks,andawhiteturkeytrackinthecenterofeachforehead.

CrowMother,Ang-wu-sna-som-ta-qa,whichistosay"ManWithCrowWingsTiedTo,"followed,wearingawoman'sdressandceremonialrobewithmoccasins,andcarryingadditionalpalegreenyuccalashesforthewhippers.Hermaskhadgreatblackcrowwingsateachside.

Atoncealittleboywasledforwardbyhissponsors,hisnakedbodytrembling.Steppingintothelargesandpainting,heraisedonehandabovehisheadandcoveredhisgenitalswiththeother.Thelashes

curledabouthisbody,leavingwelts,thenhisgodfatherpulledhimasideandtooktheremainderofthewhippingforhim.

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Whenherturncame,Polingaysiwasgratefulthatshewasagirlandwasallowedtowearherblanketdress.Thewhippingshereceivedwasnotpainful,buttheemotionalstrainsenthertothebenchweepingandweak.ItseemedcrueltoherthatCrowMothershouldurgethewhipperstostrikeharder.However,whenthewhipperswhippedeachotherattheconclusionoftherites,shefeltbetter.Justicehadbeendone.

ThePowamuachiefthendismissedtheKachinaswithgiftsofbreathfeathersandcornmealandbeganhislecture.Theinitiateswerenowatthethresholdofknowledge,hetoldthem.Theywouldlearnmoresecretssoon,butmustnottelltheyounger,uninitiatedchildrenwhathadtakenplace.Telling,theywerewarned,wouldbringreprisalsfromtheangryKachinas.

ReachingtheFreys'houseyard,PolingaysilookeddownintothenarrowstreetsoftheoldvillageofMoenkopi,therockhouseshuddledonthelowerslopesofthesand-dune-borderedwash.

''Thatinitiation!''shethoughtangrily."Whatwasitbutapaganrite?Imustforgetit."

NotyetcalmenoughtotalkwiththeFreysaboutherclashwiththeolduncle,shewenttoherroom.Turningtowardthemirror,shesurveyedhersolemnreflectionunapprovingly.

"MaybeI'mnotatrueHopi.ButwhatamI?AmIatrueanything?AmIsincere?DoIreallywanttowastemytimeintryingtobringthegospeltomystubborn,superstition-boundHopipeople?Theywillonlydespisemeforit."

Shebegantakingthepinsfromherlongandheavyblackhair,intendingtowashit.Suddenlysherealizedhowautomaticthegesturehadbeen,howHopi.Washthehair.Purifythelifestream.

Inancientdays,hermotherhadtoldher,ithadbeenconsideredasintocutthehair,exceptasritualdecreed.Whenthewhitemencame,theyinsistedthattheHopimenhavetheirlong

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haircut.Whentheyrefused,thewhitemencuttheirhairbyforce,disgracingthemintheeyesoftheirpeople.

Hesitating,Polingaysibrushedherhairthoughtfully.TherewasnodenyingthattheHopiwaywasrichinsymbolism.Itwasnowonderthatcuttingthe"streamoflife"hadseemedsacrilegioustothem,steepedastheywereinthebeliefthatanythingthathadtodowithmoisturewastobeheldinreverence.

Combingsandcuttingsofhairweresavedandmadeintoahaircordtobeusedceremonially.Thebridegroom'sfather,forinstance,providedcordfromthefamilysavingsforthenewhairdressofhisson'sbride.Thepaternalgrandmotherusedhairfromthefamilyhoardwhenitwastimeforhertodressagranddaughter'shairinthetightlittlebudsofthebe-lon-so-mi,the"maiden"budsofagirljustcomingintowomanhood.BabieshadtheirfirsthaircutatthetimeoftheFebruaryBatsavuceremonyassociatedwiththeBeanDance.Astrangehaircutitwas,too,leavingthechildlookingonlyhalfshorn.

ThereweremanysymbolicreferencestohairintheHopipatternlife.LikenedtohairwereMotherCorn'ssilkenstrandsthatfelloverthedevelopingearwithitsplumpkernels.AHopifarmerwouldinstinctivelyprotectthissilkenfall,knowingitwouldwitherandfallawaywhenthelifecycleoftheear'sgrowthhadbeencompleted.

Polingaysiadmittedthebeautyofthepoliene,orbutterflywing,coiffureofmaturemaidens,thoughshethoughtitfoolishtotaketimetohavethehairwoundontheU-shapedsticks.

Atthattime,mostoftheolderwomen,conservativeSevenkaamongthem,woretheirhairinthicktwistedrollsthathungforwardovertheirshoulders,andmanyofthemstillclungtothetraditional,handwoven,dark-blueblanketdressthatfastenedontherightshoulder,leavingtheleftshoulderbare.

Shecouldrememberwhenthemenworetheirhairlongandloose-flowing,orcaughtupintoayarn-wrappedbunatthenape

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oftheneck.Now,manyofthemcroppedtheirhairandworeabrightbandaroundtheirbangs.

Timeswerechanging,changingeventhetradition-boundHopi.

Calmedbyherreflections,shejoinedtheFreyfamilyandtoldtheReverendFreyandMrs.Freyofherclashwiththeuncle.Theyunderstoodheranguishofmind.AsaHopi,shewasmisunderstoodbythewhiteman;asaconvertofthemissionaries,shewaslookeduponwithsuspicionbytheHopipeople.Herrestlessness,hermomentsofdepression,weretheinevitableresultofherdesiretobedifferent,tomakeanewplaceforherselfinaworldthatsometimesseemeddeterminednottoallowheraplaceinit.

Asusual,theFreysdidallintheirpowertohelpher.TheReverendFreywasabouttomakeatriptoNewton,Kansas.Hepublishedasmallchurchpaper,whichheranoffonahandpress,andhehaditinmindtoprinttranslationsofBibleversesandstoriesintheHopilanguage.InNewtontherewasasmallprintingofficewherePolingaysimightlearnthetypecases,sothatshecouldassisthimwhentheyreturnedtoMoenkopi.

Polingaysiwasalleagernesstobegintheeastwardjourney.ShehadseenalittleofthefarWest;thiswouldbesomethingentirelynew.

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EightShewasnotdisappointed.AsthetrainrolledthroughtherichfarmlandsofKansas,PolingaysithoughtofthePacificOcean,stretchingoutintomistydistance.Shethoughtofthedesert,itscoloredbandsnarrowingandsofteningintoneinthedistance.Herethegoldenfieldssweptoffandawaytothetopofthehillsandbeyond.

Itwastheharvestseason.Therewasahustleandbustleofpreparationforthecomingwinter.Cornstoodintallshocks,goldenpumpkinsattheirbase.Onionsandpotatoeswerebeingsacked.

Somuchfood.SomuchfoodeverywhereexceptinHopiland.ItseemedunfairthatthesepeopleshouldhavesomuchwhentheHopifarmerhadsolittle.

AstheynearedtheirdestinationPolingaysibegantoworryaboutherappearance.TheFreyshadreceivedaboxofshoesandclothingandfromthismiscellanyheroutfithadbeenchosen.Theshoesdidnotfitherfeet.Thedress,thoughofgoodmaterial,wasnotsuitableforayounggirl.

Sheneednothaveworried.TheReverendFrey'syoungerbrother,John,cametomeetthemandtotakethemtohisfarmaboutfifteenmilesfromtown.Hiswifeandhismothercamehurryingfromthehousetogreetthem,andneitherofthemwasbetterdressedthanPolingaysi,thoughnodoubttheirshoesfittheirfeetbetter.Theolderwomanworeadarkdress,theskirt

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barelyclearingtheground;youngMrs.Frey'sdarkcottonwasalsosimplymadeandverylong.TheyspokeonlyGerman,buttheirwarmthandfriendlinessspokeintonestheHopigirlcouldnothelpunderstanding.Shelikedthembothandfeltsecureandateasewiththem,awantedguest.

Dinnerwaswaitingonthebigtable.AgainPolingaysiwasimpressedbythequantitiesoffood.Whiletheyspoketoeachotherinalanguageshedidnotunderstand,sheateheartily.TheReverendFreywasconsiderate.Whentheconversationturnedtosubjectsinwhichshemightbeinterestedhekindlyincludedher,drawingheroutandinterpretinghercommentsforhisrelatives.

Thetelephonebeganringingbeforetheyhadfinishedtheirnoondayrepast.TheReverendFreywasaskedtospeakatseveralMennonitechurchesinthearea.HeandPolingaysiwereinvitedtodineandvisitathomesofhismanyrelatives.Polingaysi,pleasedtoseehowgreatlylovedwashergoodfriend,lookedforwardtothestaywithheightenedinterest.

Thenextmorningshewentwiththemissionarytoasmallshopwhereshewastoreceiveinstructionintypesetting.Atfirstitembarrassedhertositonthehighstoolinfrontofthetypecase,butsheforgotherselfasshebecameinterestedintheplacementofthetypeandthemethodoftransferringitfromcasetocomposer'sstick.Bynightshehaddecideditwasnotgoingtobedifficultforhertolearnthiswork,butthatitwasfarfrombeingthesortofemploymentshewanted.

Shepaidnoattentiontotheyoungmenwhoworkedintheshop.KeenlyawareofherdarkskinandIndianbackground,shewascharyofcourtingslightsorill-manneredremarks.Shewasquietandreserved,self-effacingasafrightenedmouse.

Itwasdifferentinthechurches.ShefeltthattheMennonitepeople

wereherfriends,thattheywerepredisposedtowardhernotonlybecauseoftheReverendFreybutbecausetheylikedto

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hearhersingtheoldhymnstheyallknewsowell.Shesangearnestlyandhumbly,gratefulforthisoneblessedtalent.

ItwaswithpleasurethatsheaccompaniedtheReverendFreyonavisittotheH.R.VothhomeinNewton.Vothwastheoldfriendofherfamilyforwhomherfatherhadworkedforsomanyyears,anditwasVothwhohadtakenQoyawaymawithhimtothissameMennonitecommunity,dressedhiminwhiteman'sclothing,andshownhimthewondersofcivilization.VothwaseagerforhertovisitBethelAcademyandmeetsomeofthefaculty.

"WhenItookyourfathertotheAcademy,"hetoldPolingaysi,"helookedtheplaceoverandsaidhehopedsomeoneofhischildrenwouldbeabletogotoschoolhere.Perhapsyouwillbetheone."

Asuddendesiretobethatonewasawakenedinthegirl'sheart.Shesawtheschoolasherfathermusthaveseenit,asplendidplaceafterthepovertyofthemesas.Itwouldbewonderfultoattendschoolthere.

Voth'sideaofwinningpeopletoChristianityhadseemedtobebasedonbreakingdowntheirformerbeliefs,onmakingthemashamedofthem.AtthattimePolingaysithefledglingmissionary,wasalmostfullyconvincedthiswasindeedtheonlymethod,whileherHopieldersonthereservationwereincensedthatVoth,presumablytheirfriend,wasrevealingonebyonetheirceremonialsecretstomagazinesandmuseums.

"Irememberwhenmyfatherreturnedfromhere,"shetoldVoth."Hebroughteachofusapresent.MinewasapieceofredcottonmaterialwhichIworelikeashawlovermyblanketdress."

OneSundaymorningduringthechurchservice,Polingaysibecameawareoftheshyregardofablue-eyedGermangirlinthecongregation.Againandagain,shesawthegirllooktowardherandaway.Shebecameannoyed.Hopi-like,shethoughtitwasnotpolite

forthegirltokeeplookingather.Whatwaswrong

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withher,thatshedrewthegirl'sattention?Shewasflusteredwhen,afterservice,shesawthegirlcomingtowardher.

"IamElizabethSchmidt,"thegirlintroducedherselftimidly."Ihaveheardyou,too,arenamedElizabeth.Iamhopingwecanbecomefriends."

Polingaysiwascooltowardher,andsuspicious.Noonehadeverbeforecometoherimpulsivelyofferingfriendship.Whatdidthegirlwantofher?Later,ElizabethSchmidttoldtheIndiangirlhowhurtshehadbeenbythecoolness.Shehadgonehomeweepingtotellherparentsoftheencounter.

"ThatpoorlittleIndiangirl.Thosesadblackeyes.Shelookssolostandfrightenedandlonely."Thosewereherwordsandherparentsweresympathetic.TheyinvitedtheReverendFreytobringPolingaysitotheirhome.ThereshemettheotherSchmidtchildrenMary,Philip,Isaac,andFrank.TheyoungerSchmidtsspokegoodEnglish,andtheparentsalsotriedforPolingaysi'ssaketospeakinthelanguagesheunderstood.TheylovedmusicandatIsaac'sinsistenceshesangforthem,"StaroftheEast."

GraduallyPolingaysiletdownherguardandhadawonderfultimewiththeSchmidt's.Sheneverceasedtobeoverwhelmedbythestoresoffoodinthecellar,thegreatcrocksofbutter,thebarrelsofpickles,therowsofjarsontheshelves:peaches,pears,tomatoes,cherries,relishes,sweetcorn.Oftenshethought,"Ifmymothercouldseeallthisfood!Ifshecouldjustseeit!"Itwouldbedifficulttomakeherbelievethatonefamilycouldhavesomuchstoredaway.

InlittleburstsofconfidencePolingaysitoldthemstoriesofherpeople,abouttheirstruggletogrowcropsintheariddesertlandsandtheirnever-endingprayersforrain.SchmidtandhissonsshooktheirheadsinamazementwhenshedemonstratedtheHopimethodof

plantingcornatthefootofasanddune,boringintothesoilwithaplantingstick.Theentirefamilylistenedinraptsilencewhenshetoldofthelifeofthevillage.

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Shetoldthemhowthevillagerssoughtthepikistone,planningtheexcursionfarinadvanceandproceedingaccordingtosetritual,treatingthestoneasasacredmaidenwhowastoservethefamilyinwhosehomeitwouldbeinstalled.Andhow,afterithadbeengrounddownandsmoothedandoiledwithchewedwatermelonseed,andfinallycarefullytempered,thewomanwhomadepikionitforthefirsttimefedthefirsttissue-thinsheetofpikitotheflamesasagifttothe"maiden."

Shetoldthemaboutbarteringinthevillageasshehadknownitinheryouth.Therewasaplacewherethosewhowishedtotradewaresusuallysat.Barteringdayswereanticipatedwithrelish,sincetheynotonlyprovidedredistributionoffoodandhouseholdgoods,butgavetheolderwomenachanceto"mendthegarmentsoftheirancestors,"astheysaid,tellingtheoldtalesoverandnoddingtheirheadswithpleasureinremembering.

Thevillagecrieralwaysannouncedtheimpendingactivityfromahousetop,andthewomencame,bringingwhatevertheyhadtobarter.Corn,ofcourse.Sweetcorn,andfieldcornofmanycolors.Cornmeal,solidlypackedonaplaqueandcoveredwithacloth.Pumpkinseeds,beans,driedsquash,desertgreensiftheseasonwasrightforthem,jerky,perhapsafreshlykilledrabbitorso,evendesertgrassseedtobeusedinpikami.

Shetoldthemhowthewomenwouldcryout,"ThesegoodHopibeanswantdriedpeaches."Or,"Thesegreensarecryingforfreshrabbitmeat."Andhowoccasionallytheauntsofsomebarteringwomanwouldteaseher,thematernalauntsscoldingbecausesheelectedtotradeforcornmealinsteadofgrindingit,andthepaternalauntsdefendingherbytellinghowearlyshegotupinthemorningtopickthegreenssheofferedinreturnformeal.

Herthoughtswereonthemesasasshetoldthemofhearingthemen

leavingforthefieldsatdawnofasummermorningandtheirechoingcriesof"Bow-hai,bow-hai-hi."Andsometimeswhen

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shefinishedtalkingaboutthewaysofhome,shewaslonely,withthestrangelonelinessofonewhofeelshehaslostsomethingbutisn'tquitesurewhatitisthatismissing.

Sometimessheapologizedfortheignoranceofherpeople,butmoreoftenshedefendedthem."Theyhavebelievedastheydoformanycenturies.Itisnoteasytoleadthemuponanewtrail."

WithpeopleliketheSchmidts,theVoths,andtheFreys,Polingaysicouldrelax,buttherewereothersinthatKansascommunitywhomadeherkeenlyawareofthefactthatshewasnotawhitegirl.Astartledglance,asharpwithdrawalofperson,madehersufferasthoughblowshadbeenraineduponher.

OnedayshewentwiththeReverendFreytoasmallrestaurantandwasrefusedservice.Themissionarygentlyrebukedthegum-chewingwaitressbutshesaidstubbornly,"Wedon'tservecolored."EvenwhenhecalledthemanagerandtoldhimPolingaysiwasatrueAmericannative,anAmericanIndian,thewaitressglaredatPolingaysi.

"Please,please,"Polingaysibegged,gettingupandgoingtothedoor,tearsrollingdownhercheeks,"Idon'twanttoeathere.Icouldn'tswallowthefood."

Theincidentmadeadeepwoundwhichhadnothealedbeforeachildprobeditunwittingly."Thatwomandidn'twashherfaceandhands,"hepipedupbeforehismothercouldhushhim.

Often,thinkingabouttheseincidentsbroughttearstoPolingaysi'seyes.Whatcanonedoaboutone'sskin?We,whoareclayblendedbytheMasterPotter,comefromthekilnofCreationinmanyhues.Howcanpeoplesayoneskiniscolored,wheneachhasitsowncoloration?Whatshoulditmatterthatonebowlisdarkandtheotherpale,ifeachisofgooddesignandservesitspurposewell?

Thetimeoftheirstaypassedquickly,andalmostbeforesheknewit,Polingaysiwaspackingforthereturntrip.Nowhersuitcasehadinitsomenew,up-to-datedresses.ElizabethSchmidt,

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wholovedtosew,hadmadePolingaysidresseslikeherown,thesamematerialanddesign,thoughmuchsmaller,Polingaysibeinglessthanfivefeettallandweighingbarelyninetypounds.

OnthereturntraintriptoArizona,PolingaysiconfidedtotheReverendFreyhernewambitiontostudyattheAcademyifitcouldbearranged.Shehadlearnedtosettypeandwoulddoitgladly,butitwasroutineworkwithnochallengeforher.Herbigchallengewasineducation.

Themissionaryconsideredtheproblemwithcharacteristicrealism.HowwouldshepayherwaythroughtheAcademy.Ifthatproblemcouldbesolvedsatisfactorily,thetrainingwouldbevaluabletoher.Inthreeyearsshewouldbeatrainedworkerinthemissionfield.Shewouldhaveadefinitepurposeinlife.

"Thereisthekitchen,"Polingaysiremindedhim."Icanwashdishes.Icanwaitontables.Icanevencookalittle.I'msureIcandoenoughworktopaymytuition."

TheReverendFreywasinaccord.Hepromisedtohelpherworkoutthedetailsandmakepreparationsforathree-yearcourseattheAcademy.

Meanwhile,theyreturnedtoMoenkopiandtheworkathand,butasshesettypeorhelpedMrs.Freyinthehouse,Polingaysidreamedofthefuture.SheremindedherfatherofhisconversationwithVothduringhisownshortvisittoNewtonandhenodded,recallinghiswordsinregardtotheAcademy.

"Iwillbetheoneofyourchildrentoattendthatschool,"Polingaysideclared."Nextyear,Ishallgothere."

Hiseyeswerebrightwithinterest.Yes,hetoldher,thatwouldbeagoodthing.Thepeopletherewerekind.Theywouldhelpher.

ShereturnedtoKansasthenextsummertostayattheFreyfarmandworkforMrs.JohnFrey.Untilthenshehadhadonlyavagueideaofthehardlifeofafarmwoman.

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Breakfastwasatsunrise.Thentherewasdinner,mid-afternoonlunch,andlatesupper.Thedaywasalongoneofpreparingandservingfoodandclearingupthedishes,pots,andpans.

Thewomenworkedashardasdidthesturdymen,shediscovered.Theyraisedchickens,pigs,andgardens,helpedwiththemilking,andtookcareofthemilkandcream.Theysewedandwashedandironed,tookcareofthebabies,andstillfoundtimeforchurchwork.

PolingaysithoughtoftheHopiwomen,slavingattheirgrindingstones,andtheGermanwomenslavingovertheirwashboards,andwonderedwhichweretobemorepitied.Atleast,theGermanwomenhadplentyofwater,withwindmillsfurnishingthepumpingpower,theirbrightbladesturningastheprairiewindblew.TheHopiwomenstillcarriedwater,fromthespringatOldOraibiandfromthevillagespringatNewOraibi.

TheFreyshadastovemadeoffirebrickintheirwashhouse.Ithadtwobigfireboxesandahugeoven.Twoshiningwashboilersweresetontopfortheheatingofwashwaterandtheboilingofthewhitepieces.Whilethewomenscrubbedandboiledandrinsedandhungthewashing,longloavesoffragrantbreadbaked,fillingtheairwithmouth-wateringfragrance,andatthesametimetakingadvantageoftheheatedstove.

Afteraweekofdawn-to-darklabor,PolingaysiwaseagerforSunday,dayofrest.Everyoneofthathouseholdwenttochurch,dressedwithquietneatnessinimmaculatelycleanclothing.Sometimes,astheylistenedsolemnlytosolemnservices,Polingaysi,wholovedtolaugh,movedrestlesslyinherseat,wonderingiftheministereversmiled.Hiswasamournful,depressingapproachtoreligion,andtheIndiangirlwasnottobeblamedifnowandthen,bywayofcontrast,shethoughtoftheflashandcolorandrhythmofKachinadancinginsun-floodedplazasathome.

Thesummerwanedandschoolbegan.PolingaysienrolledatBethelAcademyasElizabethRuthQoyawayma.Asshehad

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prophesiedinherfirstconversationwiththeReverendFreyaboutherattendanceattheAcademy,themanagementfoundaplaceforheronthekitchenanddining-roomstaff.Shewouldbewaitressanddishwasher,andinthiswaypayhertuition.

Shewasacheerfulworker,butthehourswerelongandthereweretimeswhenshefeltthatshewoulddropfromfatigue.Shekepthertrialstoherself.Shehadaskedforthisexperience;shewouldbearherburdenwithoutcomplaints.

Tohergreatdelight,shewasabletocontinuethemusicaleducationbegunatRiversideandencouragedbytheFreys.Shereceivedvocalinstruction,aswellaslessonsinpiano.Hersingingbroughthermuchpraise,soothinghersometimestroubledanduncertainthoughts.Itwasgood,oh,sogood,tohaveatalentrecognizedandenjoyedbyothers.Itwasameansofcommunication,beyondlanguage,leapingallbarriers.

HerfriendshipwithElizabethSchmidtcontinued,grew,andbecamesofirmlyestablishedthatitwouldlastalifetime.Theyweresooftentogetherthattheywerecalledthe''twoElizabeths.''Notwogirlscouldhavebeenlessalikeinoutwardappearancenormorecloselyattunedinspirit.

ElizabethSchmidt'sbirthdaywasApril9andherparentsweregivingapartyforher.TheyinvitedPolingaysi.Sheaccepted,sayingshewishedshehadabirthdaytocelebrate.Theythoughtitajokeatfirst,thenwereshockedtodiscoverthatshedidnotknowherbirthdate,exceptthatitwassometimeinthespringoftheyear.

Whatweredatestotheold-timeHopi?Whatdiddaysandmonthsmeantothem?Theylivedthedaysastheycameandwerenotconcernedwiththelengthoftheirsojournonearth.Whiletheylived,therewasworktobedone.Whentheygrewsmallinoldagethey

wouldtravelonintotheafterworldofthespirit.

Generously,ElizabethSchmidtofferedtoshareherbirthdaywithPolingaysi,andherbirthdaypartyaswell.Andsoitwas.

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Polingaysiproudlysharedherfriend'sbirthdayandwasnotafterthatconcernedabouttheactualdateofherownbirth.

ThemonthsrolledpastsorapidlythatsummervacationarrivedfastontheheelsofApril,whenshehadcelebratedhersupposednineteenthbirthday.ShereturnedtoArizona,almosthystericallyeagertoseeherparentsandherbrothersandsisters.ButwhenshereachedOraibishewasshockedtoseehowunkempttheywere.Wasitpossibletheyhadalwayslookedlikethisandshewasonlynowawareofit?Shewouldhavetodosomethingaboutthis.Immediately.

Unawareofherdisapproval,herparentsgreetedherwithwarmth.Theirsmilesenfoldedherinlove.Oh,howdearlyshelovedthem.ButtheywerestillunconvertedtoChristianity.Shemustbringthemintohernewworldofenlightenmentassoonaspossible.

Theylistenedtoherpolitely,butwithoutresponse.Forthetimebeing,hereffortstoleadthemintoherownreligiousthoughtwererejected.Whatcouldshedo,sheaskedherself,toprovethatshewantedtohelpthem,andthatthewhiteman'swaywastheonerightway?

Whiteman!Shehadheardthosewordsspokensomanytimeswithindignation,hatred,resentment,ridicule,butneverwithlove,bytheHopi.Tobesure,theylovedthegentleFreys,buttheymadenoexceptionsgenerally,andPolingaysi,forallherwhitecontacts,wasattimesascontemptuousandsuspiciousasthemostconservativeHopi.Herchangeofheart,whichshouldhavebeenbroughtaboutbytheloveshowereduponherbytheSchmidtsandtheFreys,cameslowly.

Thepastkeptbobbingupinhermind.Sherememberedthewhitemen,flankedbyNavajopolice,whosnatchedchildrenfromparentsandherdedthemofftothegovernmentschools.Sherememberedtheshockingpunishmentofthechildrenbygovernmentteachers.ShehadseengrownHopimencryingbecause

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whitemenhadcuttheirhair.Worstofall,shehadseenwomenstrippedandmarchedthroughadippingvatlikesomanycattle,becausesothewhitemanclaimedanepidemicthreatenedthereservationresidents.ThiswasathingnoHopiwomancouldforgive.Childrenmayrunnaked,butgrowngirlsandwomenaremodest.Toforcetheexposureoftheirbodiesinthiswayhadbeenunthinkable.

Shewavered,secretly,andwasunhappybecauseofit.ItwasarelieftoreturntoKansas.

ThesecondsummerPolingaysiandanotherHopigirlwentwiththeReverendFreytoBeatrice,Nebraska,tovisitmissionarygroupsoftheMennonitechurch.Itwasasurprisetothemtoseewomenofallagesbusilyworkingonbabyclothes,quilts,aprons,dresses,andotherarticlesfordistributiontoneedyIndianhomes.Manyboxeswerealreadypackedforshippingandthegirlswereenthusiasticallyreceivedbytheworkers.

SincetheGermanpeopleofthatcommunityspokegoodEnglish,itwaspossibleforPolingaysiandherfriendtotalktothem,eventotheolderpeople.TheythoughtitoddthattheMennonitesofthatareaweresosimilarlydressedasalmosttoappeartobeinuniform.

ThisvisitledtoanotherinOklahomaashorttimelater.ThemissionwheretheyweretobeguestsforafewdayswasonanIndianreservation.ThoseIndiansweretallandbig-bonedandmanyofthemwerefat.ThelittleHopigirlsfeltevensmallerincomparison,butagaincommunicationwaspossiblesincealltheyoungerIndiansspokeEnglish.

InthegatheringatthemissionchapeltherewasaveryoldmanwhospokenoEnglish.Introducedtotheguests,hestaredintentlyatthem,thenmadearemarkwhichthemissionaryinterpreted.

"Hesayshehasbeentoyourcountrywherethepeopleliveinrock

housesontopoftherocks.Hesayshewenttherewitharaidingpartymanymoonsagowhenhewasyoung."

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OfespecialinteresttotheHopigirls,accustomedastheyweretoceremonialdancing,wastheplacenearthemissionwherethistribeofIndianshadjustfinishedtheirfour-daySunDanceritual.Therehadbeen,theyweretold,acircularshelterofpoleswithatallcottonwoodloginthecentertowhichthongshadbeenattached.Amanwishingtoshowhisbraveryanddevotiontiedtheotherendofathongtohimself,bymakingaslitinhisflesh.Thenhedanceduntilthefleshgaveway,freeinghim.Onedancer,themissionarytoldthem,hadbeencarriedawaysupposedlydead.Whenthedancerregainedconsciousnessandreturnedtohisownhome,hispeoplewereafraidofhimanddrovehimaway.

Discussingthesecustomslater,Polingaysiandherfriendexpressedtheiramazement.ThosewhocalledtheKachinadancespaganshouldattendaSunDance,theyagreed.

ItwasasdustyandhotonthisreservationasitwasinHopiland.ThegirlsweregladtoreturntoNewton,whiletheReverendFreycontinuedhismissiontour.

PolingaysithoughtaheadtotheendofhertrainingattheAcademywithgrowingapprehension.Braveinsomeways,shewasacowardinothers.Shedreadedtheactiveworkinthereligiousfieldthatshewouldbeexpectedtodoamongherownpeople.

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NineWhenshereturnedtoHopilandintheearlysummerof1914,Polingaysihadafrighteningsenseofbeingenfoldedintheoldways.Itwasasthoughthemesasreachedouttoclaimher,gentlybutfirmly,andpressheroncemoreintotheculturepattern.

Shehadstruggledtogetaway;shehadacceptedachallenge,andwasdeterminedtoprofitbyheryearsattheAcademy.SheburiedherselfinworkattheFreymissioninMoenkopiandattheMennonitemissionnearOraibi.

Thefirstmission,occupiedbytheReverendVothandhisfamily,hadbeenbuiltabouttwomilesbelowOldOraibiandacrosstheOraibiWashonlandgiventoVothbyChiefLololoma.Polingaysi'sfatherhadhelpedtoconstructthosebuildings.Asitlaterproved,theyweretooclosetotheedgeoftheever-deepeninggulch.Thewaterswirledtheloosesanddownstreamandunderminedthemissionproperty.

AnotherspotoflandnearerOraibiwasassignedtotheMennonitesandanewmissionwasconstructed.Polingaysiwastoworkfromthismission,makinghomevisitationsandinterpretingforfieldworkers.OneofthesewasafriendlyyoungwomanwhosenamewasCarolineBurkholder.Polingaysisoonbecamemuchattachedtoherandwashappyintheassociation.

OnewindymorningtheyrentedhorsesfromCharles,brother

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ofChiefTawaquaptewaandbrother-in-lawofPolingaysi,withtheintentionofinterviewingseveralfamiliesatdistantpointsofthereservation.AstormthreatenedandPolingaysi,disregardingtheskittishnessofhermount,tiedherraincoatbehindhersaddle.ThegirlssetoffatatrotbuthadgoneonlyashortdistancewhenthewindflappedPolingaysi'sraincoat,causingherhorsetobuck.Sheknewnothingaboutriding.Shegrabbedthesaddle-horn,butitwasnotenough.Anotherjumporsoandhergriploosened.Asshefell,shecaughtaglimpseoflashinghindlegsandrolledawayfromthatdanger.

Gettingupquickly,shefeltherselfcautiously,encouragedtofindnobonesbroken.However,afterafewdaysofsoreness,shediscoveredthatliftingorotherhardworkwaspainful.Sheshunnedhorsebackridingfromthenon.Eventuallyshelearnedthatshehadbeeninjuredinternallybythefallandsurgerywasrequiredtomendthedamage.

Herworkonthereservationdidnotbringhersatisfaction.HerHopifriendslistenedpolitelybutwerenotconvertedfromtheirpatternoflife.ShewasreadyforachangewhentheReverendFreyaskedherandanotherHopigirltogowithhimtoaMennonitegeneralconferenceinPennsylvania.Polingaysiacceptedatonce,eagerasshewastoseemoreoftheUnitedStates.

TheReverendFreywasabletosecurepassesontheSantaFeRailroad,andhescheduledatourofconsiderablelength,withappearancesatmanychurchesandmissionsthroughouttheEast.

PolingaysiandherfriendMinniewereexcitedtoberidinginaPullman,butatrifleillateasewhenwhitepeopleturneduponthemquestioninganddisapprovingglances.Nowandthensomeoneaskedthempoint-blankabouttheirracialstrain.TheyweregladtoreachtheMennonitecommunities,wheredarkskinraisednoquestionsandbroughtnoindignantstares.

Theirfirstengagementwasatachurchafewmilesfrom

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Philadelphia.AsusualtheReverendFreytoldofhisworkamongtheHopiIndians,andPolingaysisang.Minnie'spartintheventurewastogiveatestimonyofherconversiontoChristianity.

Polingaysiforgotmanyofthechurchesandcongregationstheyvisited,butshealwaysrememberedthathistorybegantomeansomethingtoherduringthistour.TheReverendFreypointedoutPhiladelphia'shistoricbuildings.ShethoughtshehadneverseenanythingmorebeautifulthanMountVernon,ormorefascinatingthantheworkofglassblowersattheglassfactoryinAltoona,Pennsylvania.

InWashingtontheysawtheCapitolbuildingandtheWhiteHouse,visitedtheIndianBureauandwereshownthroughthebuildingbyoneoftheemployees.

OntheirwaybacktoArizona,theyspentalittletimeinIndiana,wherePolingaysiwasimpressedbythehillsandvalleys,thethickstandsoftrees,andthebeautifulwindingroadsofthecountryside.AgainamongtheMennonites,theywentthroughtheregularroutineofchurchandsocialgatherings,thenwentontoKansastorenewacquaintancewitholdfriendsbeforereturningtoHopiland.

AbouttwomilesfromMoenkopi,atTubaCity,wasanIndianboardingschool,attendedmostlybyNavajochildren.AtemporaryemployeetherewasRenaEdwardson,acalm,quiet,kindyoungwomanfromtheEast,whohadcomewesttovisitrelativesandremainedbecauseshelovedthewesternscene.ShehadtaughtNavajobeginners,rangingfromtotsoffivetoteenagers,forathree-weekperiod,pendingthearrivaloftheIndianServiceteacherofthatroom.Inthefallof1918shewasaskedtotakeapositionasmatronoftheKayentaIndianboardingschool,aboutseventy-fivemilesnorthofTubaCity,neartheUtahstateline.

PolingaysihadmetRenaandlikedher.Therefore,whenshewasaskedtogotoKayentaasRena'sassistant,shewelcomedthe

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opportunity.Unsureasshewasofherabilitytoconvertherownpeople,shewasgladtohavearespitefrommissionarywork.

AKayentastockmancameforthem,drivingtwowhitemuleshitchedtoacoveredwagon.HewasatrueWesterner,fromcowboybootstoeasy,drawlingspeechandbighat.Earlyinthemorningtheystartedonthethree-dayjourneyacrossthelonelyNavajoreservation.Inthewagonboxwerethegirls'trunksandboxes,threebarrelsofwater,feedforthemules,andastockofprovisionsfortheboardingschool.

Rena,asplendidcook,hadseentoitthattheyhadcampingnecessitiesandfoodforthelongtrip,includingroastbeef,ham,bacon,friedchicken,eggs,potatoes,coffee,andbread.

TheSeptemberweatherwasperfecttheairclearandcool,thesunwarm.Thedriverkeptthemamusedwithstories,andoccasionallyPolingaysisang.Almostbeforetheyknewitthesunwaslowinthewest.TheyhadplannedtospendthenightatRedLakeTradingPost,butwhentheypulledupinthefrontyardthetradercametothedoortotellthemhiswifewasillwithinfluenzaandthedoctorhadwarnedhimnottoallowanyonetocomeintothestoreorthehouse,lestthediseasespread.

Therewasnothingtodobutsleepoutsideontheground.Duringthenightabriskshowerawakenedthegirls,buttheypulledthetarpaulinovertheirheadsandwentbacktosleep.Theywereontheirwaybeforesunrise.

Whentheytiredofjouncingalonginthewagon,thegirlsgotoutandwalked.Thesecondnighttheycampedinalittleforestofpinyontrees,builtacampfireandpreparedtheireveningmeal,thenagainmadetheirbedsontheground.Thenightwasclearandstillandmoonlit.Nowandthentherewastheclinkofhobblesasthewhitemulesgrazednearby.

Polingaysislippedoutofbedearlyandclimbedthenearesthill.Someofthetreeswereloadedwithpinyonnuts,soshe

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gatheredthem,unawareofthepassingoftime.Shereturnedtofindbiscuitsbakinginthedutchoven,baconfryingoverthecampfire,andcoffeeboilinginabiggranitecoffeepot.Renawasnowhereinsight.

"Shewentlookingforyou,"thedriverdrawled,turningthebacon,"thoughtyou'dgetlost.Itoldhershedidn'tneedtoworryaboutanIndianlosingherdirections."Polingaysicalledandhernewfriendreturned,reliefplainonherface.

AstheydroveslowlythroughMarshPassthatthirdday,thedrivertoldthemstoriesofthegreatIndianruinstothenorth,BetatakinandKeetSeel.Theycouldseeformilesinalldirections,butinallthatdistancetherewerenobuildingsexceptanoccasionalNavajohogan,mudcoveredanddistinguishableonlyiftherewassmokecomingfromitssmokehole.Nowandthenaridermovedalongthehorizon,ortheyheardthetinkleofbellsandsawabandofsheepbeingdrivenbyaNavajowomanorchild.

Theroadwasterrifyinglynarrowinspotsandveryrough.Rainshadcausedwashoutsandportionsofthecliffsalongwhichtheroadwoundhadfallen,butthedriverseemedunconcerned.WhentheblackshaftofAgathlaPeakshowedinthedistance,hetoldthemtheywere"'bouttherenow,"andslappedthetiredmulesintoabriskerpace.

ItwassundownwhentheyreachedthelittlesettlementofKayenta,consistingofWetherill's,Colville's,andBabbitt'stradingposts,andboastingapopulationofaboutfifteenwhitepeople.ItwasatradingcenterforthethousandsofNavajoIndianswhoshiftedbackandforthoverthereservation,seekinggrazingfortheirsheep,goats,andhorses.

Theboardingschoolwasalonelyandbareplacewithadormitorythatlookedlargeandghostlyinthedimlightofakerosenelanternwithasmokedchimney.Inspiteofthewelcometheyreceivedfromthe

principalandhiswife,whohadbeentherea

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monthgettingtheschoolready,Polingaysibrokedownandcried,whileRena,inhersereneway,triedtocheerher.

Theoutlookwaslessgriminthesunshineofthenextmorning.ThegirlswentforawalkbeforebreakfastandenjoyedthemagnificentscenerytheBlackMountainstooneside,thespiresandbuttesofMonumentValleytotheother.

Theyvisitedwiththeprincipalandhiswifeandwerebriefedontheirduties.Theprincipal,theysoonrealized,wasmoreinterestedinthebookhewaswritingabouttheIndianruinsnearbythanintheoperationoftheschool.

Lunchover,theywereunpackingleisurelywhenasmallcarrattledupandanexcitedmanjumpedouttodeliveranotefromthesuperintendentofschoolsatTubaCity.ThenoteinformedtheKayentaprincipalthatawaveofinfluenzahadstruckTubaCity.Allbutthreeofthechildrenandmostoftheemployeesweresickinbed.

Thegirlsreplacedtheclothingtheyhadjustunpacked,theprincipalandhiswifepackedhastily,andallfourgotintothecarforthejoltingtripbacktoTubaCity.

Theyfoundthehospitaloverflowingwithpatients.Teachers,cooks,nurses,parents,childrenallhadbeenstrickenalmostovernight.Flagstaff,thenearesttown,couldnotsendhelp,sinceitwashardhitandalsoneededassistancetocareforthesick.

Polingaysididallshecouldtoassistintheemergency,butshesoonsuccumbedtothediseaseandtookherturninthehospital.Whenshewaswellenough,shereturnedtoMoenkopiandtheFreyhome.

ThiswasatimeofsorrowontheHopireservation,wherehundredsinthemesavillageslayintherockhouses,illuntodeath.TheReverendFreyhadalittleknowledgeofmedicine;hewasadevotednurse,and

hebroughtthegospel,aswellashiswillinghands,toaidthefrightenedafflictedHopiswhowereinvariousstagesofthedisease.Thosehecouldhelp,hehelpedtothelimit

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ofhisability;thosewhowereatdeath'sdoorweregivencomfort;thosewhodiedwerepreparedbyhimforburial,patientlyandsorrowfully.

OnedayinNovember,theeleventh,themissionarycamehomewithaglowofgladnessinhisface.

''Thewarisover,''hetoldhisfamily."Thearmisticehasbeensigned."

Polingaysistaredathim.Thewarhadneverseemedrealtoher;nowitwasover.

Teaching,exceptinSundayschool,hadneverenteredPolingaysi'shead,butbecauseoftheepidemicachancetotrywasgivenher.ShewasaskedtoserveasasubstituteintheTubaCityboardingschool.

CarolineBurkholder,anex-teacherherself,andRena,whohaddistinguishedherselfbyherheroiceffortsinbehalfofsickanddyinginfluenzapatients,encouragedPolingaysitoundertakethenewoccupation.ButitwasanervousandapprehensivePolingaysiwhoenteredtheschoolroomthatfirstmorningandlookedintotheblackeyesofsomethirtyNavajopupils,rangingfromsix-year-oldstotallandganglingeighteen-year-oldPete.

Petewasliterallyherbiggestproblem.ShesuspectedthatPetecouldspeakalittleEnglish,butshecouldn'tgethimtoopenhismouth,muchlesstalktoher.Hesatalldayathisdesk,watchinghereverymovebutignoringherattemptstointeresthiminschoolwork.Hislethargymadeherfumewithimpatience.TheHopisandtheNavajoswereseldomsympathetictowardoneanotherbecauseofthepast,andalltheburiedresentmentsbeganseethinginPolingaysi.

ThatlazyNavajo.Sheknewwellwhyheremainedinschoolsoplacidly,eatingthreegoodmealsaday,livinginawarm,clean

dormitory,andreceivinggoodclothing.Itwasbetterthanthehard,coldworkofherdingsheepinwinteroutonthereservation.

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HecouldaffordtoendurethescoldingofhislittleHopiteacher,andtoshowhisamusementatherbustling,bossyways.

Shewasmuchmoresuccessfulwiththesmallchildren.Atfirsttheylookedatherfromtheirbeautifulblackeyes,fearfulaslittledeer,butgraduallyshewontheirconfidence.

Fromthefirstshesawtheneedofrelatingtheirschoolworktotheireverydayexperiences.Shefoundahornedtoadonedayandbroughtittotheclassroomwithher,delightedtoseetheirinstantrecognitionandinterest.

"Thatismygrandfather,"oneofthelittleboyssaidsolemnly,butwouldnotsaymore.Perhapshisfamilyhadahighregardforthelittlecreatures,shedecided,andwentonwithherteaching.

Asherconfidencegrew,shefeltshecouldnolongerendurePete'spresenceinherclassroom.Hedidnotbelongtherewiththeeagerlittleones.Hewasabadinfluence.Besides,heirritatedtheteacher.Onedayshesummonedhimtoherdesk.

"Pete!"shesaidsharply,lookingupintohisintelligenthandsomeface."Ifyou'regoingtostayinschool,youaregoingtohavetodosomething.YoucanatleastopenyourmouthandanswerwhenIspeaktoyou."

Petegrinneddownather,sayingnothing,thenreturnedtohisseatandloungedthere,uncommunicativeasusual.Afterschoolshefoundanoteonhisdesk.Itwasbriefandtothepoint.

"PetenogoodNavajo,"thecrudelyprintedwordsproclaimed."Nocanlearn."

HedidnotreturntoschoolandPolingaysimissedhim.Herconsciencenaggedher.Judgenot,lestyealsobejudged,itremindedher.Perhapsshewasatfaultinnottryingharderandwithamore

lovinghearttohelpthelad.Perhapshereallywantedtolearn,andhadlearned,judgingfromhisprintednote.

ButPetewasgone,swallowedupinthevastnessofthereservation.Sheneversawhimagain,butsherememberedhimmoredistinctlythananyoftheothers.

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Herfirstcheckbroughtwithittherealizationthatteachingmightbeameansofbuildinguphertinynesteggtoproportionsthatwouldallowhertobeginconstructionofherownhome.Amonthlycheckgaveherarichfeelingofindependence.Whentheschooltermended,shewasmorethanwillingtocontinueworkingatTubaCityascookintheclubhousewherethegovernmentemployeesate.

ShedecidedtohaveaserioustalkwiththeFreysaboutherfuture.Wasshereallyqualifiedtobeamissionary?Weretheysurethatwasherfield?Thosewerethequestionsshefinallyaskedthem.Thesadnessanddisappointmentintheirkindfacesstabbedhertotheheart.

"They'llbegladtoberidofme,ungratefulIndianthatIam,"shethought,butthiswasnottrue.

Theyurgedher,instead,nottolosewhatshehadworkedforsolong.Probably,theysaid,sheneededmorereligiousknowledgeandmoretrainingformissionarywork.Tocorrectthiscondition,theyofferedtoenrollherintheLosAngelesBibleInstituteforthefallsession.

Shewasnotstrongenoughtoresistthem,butshewenttoLosAngeleswithahauntingdoubtinherheart.ShehadlearnedwellthatanyHopiwho,atthattime,wasnotfollowingtheHopipatternwasamisfit.Shewasnolongeracceptedasoneofthem.HerformerShermanschoolmateshadreturned,married,andwerelivingthetraditionallife.Shewasstillreachingoutforeducation.Whatfor?theywouldhaveasked.Shewouldhaveansweredwithmoreheatthanconviction.Sometimessheaskedherselfthatveryquestion:whatfor?Why,shethought,shouldshebesodeterminedtolearn,andlearn,andlearn?

TheReverendFreywentwithhertoLosAngeles.AtthebigbuildingonHillStreethetalkedwithteachersandmadearrangementsforPolingaysitodopart-timeworktohelppayforher

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schooling.Shewastosweepthesecondfloorhallwayinthemorningandcleansilverwareintheschoolkitchenintheevening.

Inordertocontinuewithvocaltraining,shevolunteeredtotakesomeofhermoneyfromthebank,thoughitwasbeinghoardedforherdreamhouse.Butthiswasnotnecessary.Thewifeofoneoftheteachersgaveherenoughspare-timeemploymenttotakecareofthisneed.

Herworkattheteacher'shomeentailedsomecooking.Onedayshewasaskedtopreparericefordinner.Accustomedtocookingcornmeal,shehadhadnoexperiencewithrice,butitseemedsimpleenough.Thericewasinabigjar.Shewonderediftherewouldbeenough.Sheputfivecupfulsinapanandcovereditwithwater,thensetitontocook.Inafewminutesshehadtoaddmorewater,thenshehadtofindalargerkettle;andbecauseshewasusedtostirringcornmush,shestirredthericevigorouslyasitcooked.Theresultwasaglutinousmess.

Shetoldoneofherclassmatesaboutherexperienceandtheothergirllaughedsympathetically,promisingtoteachhertheproperwayofcookingrice.Theclassmatewasaneighteen-year-oldChinesegirlfromShanghai,aMissYunguZah,whohadcometotheUnitedStatesknowingverylittleEnglish,butwithagreatdeterminationtolearn.

Shehadanamazingmemory.OncesheheardaBibleverseshecouldrepeatitperfectly.OftensheandPolingaysiwentuptotheroofgardentorepeattheirversestoeachother.WhenPolingaysimadeamistake,YunguZahwouldsay,"Tryagain.Youarenotstupid."AndPolingaysiwouldpersistuntilshe,too,couldrepeattheverseperfectly.

ThecookinglessonwasgivenintheChinesegirl'sroom,withthedoorclosedandtheblindspulled,sinceitwasagainstregulationsto

cookinone'sroom.ServedwithChineseteaandpickledeggsbroughtfromChina,thericewasdelicious.

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Polingaysiwasmuchpleasedwithhervoiceteacher,asmall,roundmanwithasplendidvoice.HewasastrictteacherandworkedlongandearnestlywithPolingaysitoimproveherpronunciation,especiallyofcertainwords.Honey,forinstance."HoneyintheRock"and"HisEyeIsontheSparrow,"weretwosongsshesangwell,assoonasshemasteredtheword''honey,"whichhadawayofcomingout"hohnee"atfirst.

ShesangthosesongsmanytimesinLosAngeleschurchesandwasoftensoloistattheChurchoftheOpenDoor,whereshewasamemberofthechoir.Wheneverherworkhadtodowithmusic,shewashappy.

Shewasalsohappyinthevisitationworkonceaweek,whichwasafeatureofthecourseshewasstudying.Studentswenttocountyhospitalsandoldpeople'shomestovisittheinmatesandtohelptheminanywaypossible.Polingaysienjoyedtheoldpeopleespecially.Shethoughtofthemastheyhadoncebeen,usefulandbusypeoplewithhomesandchildren.Now,groupedtogether,theywaitedwithpatiencefortheendoftheirtime.

ShelikedtosingforthemandreadthepromisesoftheBible,hopingthatshewasgivingthemtheencouragementtheyneededtoendurethewaiting.When,oneday,onelittleoldladycalledtoanother,"Oh,Mrs.Jones.Comeonout.OurIndiangirlishere,"shewashappytoberecognizedandwelcomed.

However,desert-bornasshewas,shenevergotusedtothecity.Shehadbeenshelteredinherownhome,attheShermanInstitute,atthehomeoftheFreys,andatBethelAcademy.Shewasfrightenedbythestoriesshehadheardofwhiteslaversandtheiractivitiesincities,andseveralexperienceshadintensifiedherfears.

Onedayshewasreturningfromavisitationtotheoldpeople'shome

whenastrangersatdownbesideherandbegantotalktoher.Sheignoredhim,buthepersistedinannoyingher,soshegotoffthecarablockfromherdestinationanddrewasighofrelief.Thensheheardfootstepsand,glancingback,shesawthatthe

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manwasfollowingher.Hecalledtoher,butsheraninterror,arrivingbreathlessandweaktoreporttheincidenttothehousematronandtobetoldthatshedidexactlyrightinrunning.

AnothertimeshewentonthetraintoRiversidetospendaSaturdaywithfriendsatShermanInstitute.Oneofthetrainmenspoketoher,askingifshewasanIndianandtellingherhehadlivedinArizona.Hewasinuniform,sotheHopigirl'sfearswerelulledandshetalkedtohim.ThenheaskedherhowshewasgoingtogetouttoSherman.Shetoldhimshealwayswentoutonthestreetcar.Hesaidthecardidn'trunanymore,butthatafriendofhiswouldbeinRiversidetomeethimandhe'daskhertotakePolingaysionout.

Sureenough,therewasamannish-lookingwomanatthestationandshe,too,wasinuniform.

"She'lltakecareofyou,"themantoldPolingaysiasshegotoffthetrain.Thewomancametowardher,butagainPolingaysiran.Thestreetcarwascoming.Shegotonandwentherwaywithracingheartandafeelingofhavingescapedsomedreadfulfate.

WhentheReverendFreyarrived,asusualwithherwelfareforemostinhismind,shehadbeguntowonderwhatshewoulddoduringthesummervacation.Heknewofaladywhowastoarriveaboutthetimeoftheschool'sclosingtospendthesummeratHermosaBeach,notfarfromLosAngeles.Sheandherretardedsonwouldrequiretheservicesoftwowomenandaman,housekeeper,cook,andchauffeur.HethoughtPolingaysimightapplyforworkwiththislady.

Withasecretsmileassherememberedherrice-cookingepisode,Polingaysisaidshewouldcookforthem,iftheylikedher.ShewentwithFreytooneofthelargehotelsforaninterviewandwasallbutoverwhelmedbyitsgrandeur.Afteralongwait,astatelyladyallin

blackappeared,accompaniedbyagood-lookingyoungman,whohadnothingatalltosay.

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Polingaysiwasemployed.AfewdayslatertheypickedherupattheBibleInstituteandtookhertothebeachhomewhereshewastospendthesummer.Itwasnotalargeestablishment.Sheandthehousekeeperhadtosharearoom.Thechauffeursleptoverthegarage.

Polingaysi'sheartwentouttotheson,amaninyears,withwealth,health,andfamilybackgroundhecouldneverappreciate.Shewaskindtohimandheseemedtotrustandlikeher.ThebigyoungmanandthesmallHopiwomanoftenwalkedonthebeachthatsummer,gatheringseashellsandprettypebbles.

Hersalarywasexcellent.BythetimeshereturnedtotheBibleInstitute,shewasbeginningtofeelindependentfinancially.ShehadathousanddollarsinthebankandenoughmoneytopayherextraexpensesattheInstitutethatyear.Shewasdeterminednottodrawoutanyofthethousanddollars,whichseemedafortunetoher.Withitsheplannedtobuildhernewhome.

Shewasawomannow,inherlatetwentiesandbeginningtocravethesecurityofherownfourwalls,butshehadnoconceptionofbuildingcosts.Thatshewouldlearninthenearfuture,andtoherdismay.

Meanwhileshecontinuedherstudies,stillwonderingifshewouldbesuccessfulinthemissionfieldandacredittoherdevotedfriendstheFreys,or"aprophetwithouthonor"amongherownHopipeople.

SheleftLosAngelesthefollowingsummerwithmixedfeelingsofreluctanceandeagerness.Therecouldbenomoredodgingtheissue;shewouldbeexpectedtoproveherself.

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TenInthelittlemorethanadecadesinceshehadreturnedfromRiverside,therehadbeengreatchanges.Thistime,insteadofbeingmetatWinslowandtakenhomeinalumbering,ricketywagondrawnbyskinnydeserthorses,amissionaryfriendmetheratFlagstaffanddrovehertoMoenkopiinanautomobile.

AssoonastheFreyshadgreetedherandmadehercomfortableintheirhome,theReverendFreyanticipatingherneeds,asusualgavehergreatnews.

HehadbeenofferedthebuildingsatOldTolchacoMissionforeighty-fivedollars.Wouldsheliketosalvagethebuildingmaterialforherdreamed-ofhouseatNewOraibi,sincehehadnouseforit?

Polingaysi'sspiritssoared.Herewasheropportunitytobeginworkonherhouse,whichhadprogressedonlyasfarasarockfoundation.Shehadseentheoldmission.IthadbeenbuiltatafordontheLittleColoradoRiver.Themainbuildingswereofadobeconstruction,buttherewerewoodenfloors,studding,stringers,andotherlumber,aswellasnumerousdoorsandwindowswhichshewouldbeabletouseinher"big"house.

Sheacceptedtheoffer,drawingeighty-fivefromthepreciousthousanddollars,andwenttoNewOraibiassoonaspossibletomakearrangementsfortherazingoftheoldbuildings.

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ShehiredtwoOraibianstodotherazingandhauling,givingthembuildingmaterialsinlieuofmoneyforthework.Butimmediatelyshefacedtheproblemofwhattodowiththematerial,onceitarrivedatthebuildingsite.

HerbrotherMatthewsolvedthatproblem.NotfornothingdidtheHopiscallhimLittleBadgerhisnameinHopiactuallymeaningBuildingHouseWalking,thatis,abadgerbuildinghishouseinwhateverplacehefindsheneedsone.Hetookmaterialandbuiltabarninwhichtostoretheremainderofit.Homer,Matthew,andAlfred,nowgrownyoungmen,werewillingtohelpbuildtheirsister'shouse.

PolingaysireturnedtoOraibithattimewithwillingness.Themissionwaswithinwalkingdistance.Shecoulddoherworkthereandsupervisethebuildingatthesametime.

But,alas,thereseemedalwaystobeahiddenhurdle.Thistimeitwasherhealth.Shefoundshecouldnotdotheliftingandtuggingthathadbeeneasyforherbeforeshewasthrownfromthehorse.Examinationrevealedthatshehadsufferedinternalmal-adjustmentsaswellasabrokenboneandthatonlysurgerywouldcorrecthertroubles.Again,shewenttoKansas,thistimetobetreatedattheNewtonhospital,andwhenshereturnedtherewasarestlessperiodofrecuperationbeforeshecouldpickupthethreadsofherlifeagain.

Shewasnolongerfightingwhatseemedtobeherdestiny,yetshewasnotcompletelyhappyinherworkatthemission.Hercontactswiththewhiteworkersweresatisfactory.ShefeltthatshewasvaluabletothemininterpretingHopimessagesandenlighteningthemastoHopithoughtonmanysubjects,butshefoundthatoftenshewasarguingwiththemratherthanagreeingspontaneouslythatallthingsHopiwerewrongandthatthemissionaries'approachtotheproblemofreligionwasonehundredpercentright.

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Forthefirsttimeshewastryingtoanalyzeherselfandhertrueviews,aswellastheHopipeopleasawhole.Itwasnotalwaysahappypursuit.Moreoftenthannotshegaveupindespair,wonderingwhyshebotheredandwishingshecouldreturntotheunquestioningchildhoodofthenowdistantpast.

Yes,distantpast.Thedaysbeforethewhitemanmadehispresenceknownwithschoolandchurchseemedlightyearsaway.Somuchhadhappened,sofast.Therehadneverbeentimetoadjusttoonedevelopmentbeforeanothercamealong.YettheoldHopishadseemednottochangeatall,buttostandstill,watchingthesunasawayoftimingtheirrituals,retreatingtotheirkivas,plantingtheirprayersticks,astheyhaddonesincelongbeforethecomingoftheSpaniardsin1540.

Asherhousebegantotakeshape,shefoundthatallherinterestwascenteredthere.Allelsewashumdrum,tobefinishedandthenforgottenintheexcitementofwatchingherownwallsrise.

Shewasinthebackyardonasummerdayin1924,restingforamomentunderthecottonwoodtreeandwatchingherbrothersatwork,whenanemployeeofthegovernmentdayschoolatHotevillarodeup.

"AreyouElizabethRuthQoyawayma?"heasked.

"Yes,"shesaid,wonderingwhyhehadcome.

"I'vebeenaskedtotellyouthatthepositionofhousekeeperisopenattheschoolandthey'dliketohaveyoutakeit,ifyouwill."

Polingaysi'slipspartedinsurprise.Surprisenotonlyatthewordsbutatthesurgeofexcitementtheybroughther.Ifmissionworkhadseemedtobeadoorclosing,thiswasoneopening.

Butshehadbeentrained;herfriendsamongtheMennoniteswouldbeshocked;theFreys,whomsheloved,wouldbehurt.Foramoment

shestoodwithdowncasteyes,silentlypraying,buthearingherheartspeakingtoher,"Takeit,takeit."

Themanwaited,lounginginhissaddle.Polingaysiliftedherhead.Herfacewassolemn."TellthemI'lltakeit,"shesaid.

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PresentingherselftotheFreyswaspainful,butshehurriedtoMoenkopideterminedtotellthembeforetheylearnedthenewsfromanyothersource.

Theywerestunnedatfirst,butafteramomenttheysmiled.Shewastheirdearchild.Theywantedhertobehappy.Perhapsthiswouldbebestforher,andinthisnewventure,asinothers,theywoulddoalltheycouldtohelpher.TheirlovingunderstandingandtoleranceleftherhumblygratefulthatinthemshehadtrueChristianfriends.

Shedidnotexpectotherstobesotolerant,andtheyweren't.Harshcriticismwasvoiced.Shewasanungratefulbackslider.Shedidn'tdeservefriendshipandassistance,someofherformerfriendsdeclared.Theyevenimpliedthatsinceshedidnotcondemnherpeoplecompletelyfortheirritualdancesandtheiroldformofworship,shewasa''devil"worshiper.Othersaccusedherofbeingmercenaryandinterestedonlyinthemoneyshecouldearn.

Theyhadnoinsightintoherinnerqualmsassheapproachedhernewtask.WouldshebeacceptedbytheHopipeopleofHotevilla,conservativeastheywere,afterherattempttoconvertthemtotheChristianreligion?Wouldtheyfearherinfluenceontheirchildrenandcausetroubleattheschool?Wouldthey,productsofthesplitbetweentheBearClanandtheSpiderClan,holditagainstherthatshewasfromOraibi?

Shefoundthatbeinghousekeeperentailedmanyduties,butsheworkedcheerfullyandwasdelightedtolearnthatshewasbeingconsideredforateachingpost.SchoolofficialshadnoticedherwhenshedidsubstituteteachingatTubaCityandhadbeenimpressedbyheralert,intelligent,ambitiouspersonality.

However,sinceshehadtakennoexaminationsforgovernmentemployment,shedidnottaketherumorstooseriously.Buttheywere

morethanrumors.Shewasaskedtoteachbeginnersandfirstgrade.

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"Nevermind,"shewastoldwhensheexpressedfearsastoherqualifications."Teach.Takecareoftherestasyougoalong."

"NowIamateacher,"Polingaysitoldherself,enteringtheclassroomatHotevillaandlookingintothebluroflittlefacesthatwould,sheknew,soonbecomeindividualproblemsandjoys,eachwithitsownfascinatingpersonality.Shewasfrightened.Shehadverylittleconfidence.Butshemusteredawarmsmile,rememberingherfirstdaysatschoolwhensheobeyedinstructionsasbestshecould,notunderstandingawordtheteacherspoke.Atleastsheknewthelanguageofthesechildren.That,shereasoned,wouldmakeiteasierforthemandforheraswell.

ShesoondiscoveredthatshewasforbiddentospeakHopitothechildrenintheclassroom.

"WewantthemtolearnEnglish,"thesupervisorsremindedhertartly."Herearethelessons.TeachtheminEnglish."

Polingaysibroodedoverthismethod.

"Whatdothesewhite-manstoriesmeantoaHopichild?Whatisa'choo-choo'totheselittleoneswhohaveneverseenatrain?No!Iwillnotbeginwiththeoutsideworldofwhichtheyhavenoknowledge.Ishallbeginwiththefamiliar.Theeverydaythings.Thethingsofhomeandfamily."

Immediately,shebeganputtinghertheoryintopractice.InsteadofcrammingLittleRedRidingHoodintotheuncomprehendingbrainsofhersmallstudents,shesubstitutedfamiliarHopilegends,songs,andstories.

Theyallknewthesongaboutthelittlesquirrelthatwentoutgatheringpinyonnutsandwasfrightenedbyadropofpitchthatfellonhisforehead.Itwasanactionsong,somethinglike"Patty-cake,patty-

cakebaker'sman."Hopimothers,aunts,grandmothers,andlittlesisterssangittothetinytots,manipulatingthechildren'shandsastheysang.

PolingaysitaughtthechildrenEnglishwordstotheoldtune,thentheysangittogether.

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Squirrel,squirrel,pickingpinyons.Squirrel,squirrel,pickingpinyons.Downfallspitchonhisforehead.Hespillshispinyons;Scattershispinyons!Thenhepicks,picks,picksUphispinyons,Andparchesthem,Andparchesthem,Theneats,eats,eatsthem.

Thechildrenbecamelittlesquirrels.Ledbytheteachertheypickedimaginarypinyonnutsfromimaginarytrees,feltthestickypitchontheirforeheads,tossedawaythenutsinalarm,pickedthemupagain,parchedthem,stirringthemwithastick,thenstuffedtheimaginarytidbitsintotheirmouths,puffingouttheircheekswithrealisticfervor.

TheyloveditandsodidPolingaysi.Itwasherfirstrealtasteofsuccess.TheNavajochildrenatTubaCityhadbeendocileandinteresting,aswellasintelligentandartistic,butthesechildrenwereofherownpeople.Hopis.Sheunderstoodthem.Theyunderstoodher.Sheandtheywerefromthatdayinrapport.

Therewereotheractionsongs.Theburrowingowlsong.Theprairiedogsong.Thecoyotesong.Shehadafeelingthemissionarieswouldfrownontheburrowingowlsongwhichbegan,"Wearelittleburrowingowls,childrenofGerminatingGod..."ButshewassurprisedwhentheHopiparentsobjectedtohermethodofteaching.

"Whatareyouteachingourchildren?"theycomplained."Wesendthemtoschooltolearnthewhiteman'sway,notHopi.TheycanlearntheHopiwayathome.Whyshouldtheygotoschooltolearnaboutlittlesquirrelpickingpinyons?AllHopichildrenknowabouthim."

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Shetriedtoexplainwhatshewasattemptingtodo;howsimpleandeasyitwastodrawthemoutbylettingthemtakepartintheteaching.ItwasnotdifficultforthemtolearnEnglishequivalentsofthesefamiliarwords.Theywerebuildingavocabularybasedonsimplethingsofhomeandmesa,thingstheyunderstood.

Reachthem,thenteachthem,shereasoned,rememberinghowlongithadtakenhertolearntosay"Jesuslovesme,thisIknow."

Sheplayedgameswiththechildrenduringrecessandthenoonhour.Shegavethemresponsibilityintheclassroom,especiallyrecognizingthewithdrawn,slow-learningones,inanattempttomakethemfeeltheirworthtoherandtotheotherchildrenintheroom.

Withthechildrenshecouldbeherself,andshesawplainlythatshemusttrytohelpthemblendthebestoftheHopitraditionwiththebestofthewhiteculture,retainingtheessenceofgood,whateveritssource.

Shehadbeentaughtfrominfancytodistrusttheaggressive,pushing,loud-voicedwhiteman,butexperiencehadprovedtoherthatallwhitepeoplewerenotself-seekersbentonexploitingtheHopipeople.Evenso,shelookedatthewhiteteacherswithwhomsheworkedandwondered,herfeelingsconcealedbehindtheIndianmask,howtheyfelttowardher.Weretheysympathetic,likethewonderful,loving,understandingFreys,likeElizabethSchmidt,likemanyofherteachersatRiverside,Bethel,andtheBibleInstitute?

Itwasallveryconfusingtoher.Whattothink?Whatnottothink?Howmuchofherselftogive,andwhatriskoflosstherewasingivingsuchinnerworrieshadtheireffectonhernaturalspontaneity,makingherseemastandoffishandoftenstubbornperson.

Actually,shehadbutoneconsumingdesire:toachieveagoodlife,independentofbothwhitepeopleandherownHopipeople,but

esteemedbyboth.Thestrugglewasnot"tobeawhiteman"

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buttokeepfromrejectingeverythinggoodshehadgleanedatsuchcostoftimeandenergyfromthewhiteman'sworld.Shewasalwaysuneasilyawarethatitwouldnotbedifficulttoshuckoffthethinveneerofthewhiteman'swaysandreturntothefamiliarmoresofherHopipeople.

Shehadbeencalledatwo-heartbytheHopisbecauseshehadbecomeaChristian.NowafewofherformerChristianfriendswerecallingheranidol-worshiperbecauseshehungKachinadollsofcarvedcottonwoodrootonherwall.TheveryHopiswhocriticizedherfor,astheyputit,tryingtobeawhiteman,broughthersiftersandwovenplaquestheyhadmadeforsale,exactlyastheymighthavepresentedthemtoawhitewoman.

SomeoftheHopisevenprofessedtobesurprisedthatshestilllikedtheHopifoodofherchildhood:thepikibread,pikamipudding,cornmealmush,andthenutritiousandtastystewofmuttonandhominycallednu-qui-vi.Asthoughshecouldescapeherheritage!

''Whydon'tyoudosomethingaboutthatstubborndaughterofyours,"theolderHopisscoldedherfatherandmother."Itisyourfaultthatshedoesnotliveinherownvillage,awife,mother,andfire-keeper.Whydon'tyoutellhertocomehomeandbeatrueHopi?That'sallshe'lleverbe."

Therehadbeenatimewhensuchcommentswouldhavecausedhereithertoflareupinangerortomeltintotearsofself-pity.Nowshecoulddismissthemascompletelyunimportant,whileretainingherrespectfortheteachingshehadreceivedfromhereldersinwhatwasbeginningtoseemanotherlifeago.

"AtrueHopiisapartoftheuniverseandmustkeephimselfinbalance,"shehadbeentold."Allthings,animateandinanimate,havelifeandbeing.AtrueHopitriestobeawareofthedeepspiritual

essencethatisattheheartofallthings.Allthingshaveinnermeaningandformandpower.TheHopimustreachinto

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natureandhelpittomoveforwardinitscycles,harmoniouslyandbeautifully."

Shehadbeentaughttobehelpfulandgenerous.SheknewtheHopiideaofresponsibilitytooneself.One'sfamily,clan,community,andrace.TobeinharmonywiththetrueHopiwaywouldhelpallpeople,shehadlearnedearlyinlife.

"Whenyoumakeyourmorningprayers,breatheawishthatyourlifewillbegood.Thosewhohavesomethinggoodtolivebywanttolivealonglife.Thosewhoarehappysing.Singasyouruntoyourgardensatdawn.Singasyouworkinthesunshine.Donotallowangertopoisonyou.Thoughtsofangertowardanotheropenwaysintotheangryone'slifethroughwhichbadinfluencesfindtheirway."

Itwasabeautifulwayofthinking.HadthewhitemissionarieseverexaminedthoseHopisayingswithtolerance?Shecouldsee,afteryearsofstudy,thattheefforttochangefromoneculturetoanother,fromonereligiontoanother,isalmostcertaintobeattendedbystrife.

Forembracinganewidea,beautifulthoughitwas,Jesuswascrucified.

MissBurkholdercontinuedtoworkwithher,preparingherforanexaminationforIndianServiceteacherswhichshewouldsoonbeaskedtotake.PolingaysiwasgainingconfidenceastheweekspassedandtheHopistorytellingmonthofDecembercamealong.Againshebroughtthefamiliarintotheclassroom.Storieswouldbetoldintherockhousesthesecoldnights.Shecouldimaginetheeagerlittlefacesinthefirelightandhearthecrunchingofparchedcornandpumpkinseedsasthestorytellersaddressedtheiraudiences.

"Story,"shewroteonherblackboardonemorning,explainingthewordandspellingitforherpupils."Whowantstotellastory?"

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Handswentup.Achildwasselectedandalegendwasself-consciouslytold,oftenwithhelpfromclassmates.

"Whotoldyouthisstory?"

"Myuncle."

"Verywell.Wewillwritetheword'uncle'ontheblackboard.Whatwasthestoryabout?"

"Afrog."

"Wheredidthefroglive?"

"Helivedinaspring."

"Whatdidhedo?"

"Hesangasongabouttherainthatwascomingtowaterourgardens."

"Fine.Wewillwritetheword'frog.'Nowwewillmakeasentence.'Myuncletoldmeastoryaboutafrog.'"

WhenthechildrenhadreadtheshortsentencePolingaysienlargedupontheidea.

"Myuncletoldmeastoryaboutafrogthatsangasongabouttherainthatwascomingtowaterourgardens."

Rain,water,andothermoisturewordswerefamiliartoherpupils.Itwasnotdifficulttomakeupanentirespellinglessonfromsuchastory.Itwasalsoeasytorelatethewordstoasimplelessoninarithmetic.

"Howmanytimesdidthefrogsingthesong?"

"Fourtimes."

"Howmanyuncleshaveyou?"

"Three."

"Howmanyfrogswerethere?"

"One."

Thenthechildrenwouldmakemarksontheblackboardtoshowhowmanytimesthefrogsangthesong,howmanyunclesthelittleboyhad;anditwasnotwork,butfun.

BeforetheChristmasvacationloomed,Polingaysi'spupilswere

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sayingwholesentencesinEnglish.Theycouldspellsimplewordsandwerelearningnumbers.Herprideinthemknewnobounds.

WiththehelpoftheHotevilladayschoolprincipalandothers,PolingaysipassedherIndianServicetest.Nowshewasabonafideemployeeofthegovernment.

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ElevenNolongerontrial,havingpassedthetestoftheexamination,Polingaysienteredintoaperiodofcomparativeself-confidence.Butshewasnotconfidentenoughtodiscontinueherroutineofstudy.TherewouldbesummerschoolinFlagstaffafterschoolclosedonthereservation.Shemeanttobereadyforit,abletoholdherownwiththewhiteschoolteachers.

Duringtheweek,shelivedinasmallcottageneartheschoolatHotevilla;onweekendsshewenttoOraibitoworkonherhouse.

Thenshefellinlove.Notwithamanwithapiano.IthadbeenoneofhergreatestjoystovisitatthehomeofoneofthefewwhitewomeninOraibi,aMissOlson,andplaythatfortunatewoman'sSchumannpiano.

Polingaysi'sfatherhadhelpedfreightthepianoinitsbigwoodencratefromWinslow,ontherailroad,overtheroughdesertroadsandacrossthedangerousquicksandsoftheLittleColoradoRiver.Itwasonlybytherarestofgoodluck,hehadtoldhisdaughter,thattheinstrumentreachedOraibiundamaged.

AsfarasPolingaysiwasconcerned,thatpianowasoneofthemostpreciousthingsinHopiland.Itsmellowtonesstruckharmonyinherworriedyoungmind.Listeningtoit,orplayingitherself,shecouldforgetherconflict.HerrootsweredeepinthehomelandoftheHopi.Shefeltaconstantpull,anattractionthat

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heldherlikeamagnethereonthemesas.Butherownpeoplewerecriticalandscornful,seeminglydeterminednottounderstandherorhermotives.Wouldtheyeveragainincludeherintheircloselyknitcommunity,orwouldsheliveamongthemanoutsider,likethewhiteman?ShehadcrossedthebridgefromherIndianworldtotheworldofthewhiteman;couldshecomeback?

Underthespellofmusicshelostmanyofherfears,ifonlytemporarily,andwasinharmonywiththeuniverse.WhenMissOlsonwassuddenlytransferredtoCalifornia,Polingaysiwasdesolate.Therewerenootherpianosinthevillage.Shecouldnotaffordone.UnlessunlessMissOlsonwouldsellhers,ratherthanshipit.Shewasreluctanttoask,havingverylittlemoneyandbeingpushedtothelimittobuildherhouse,butwhenMissOlsonofferedthepianotoheratanabsurdlylowpriceforsuchafineinstrument,shetookadeepbreathforcourageandboughtit.

Butwhereonearthcouldshestoreit?Herhousehadwalls,butnoroof.Therewasnoroomforsuchalargepieceoffurnitureinthetinyhomeofherparents.UntilthedaysetforitsremovalfromMissOlson'shouse,sheworriedaboutstorageofit.ThenoneoftheteachersattheOraibischoolofferedtogiveithouseroomfortheuseofit.Gratefully,Polingaysiplacedthepianoinhercareandurgedtheboystoroofthehousewithallspeed.

Everyonehadbeenworkingonherhousetheboys,herfather,sisterAnna.Stillitwentupslowly,partlybecausePolingaysiwasnotcontentwithasmall"Hopi"house.Shewantedroom,lotsofroom,inherhome.

Thevillagegossipshadafielddaywithherlatestventure,thepianopurchase.

"Wherewillyourprouddaughterputapiano?"theyaskedhermother.

"Willshecarryitaroundwithher?"

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''Maybeshewillmakeyoucarryitonyourback,asyouwouldcarryherbabiesifshehadany,"anotherwitsaidslyly.

Thestorygotaroundandthevillagerslaughed.Onewag,withnothingmoreconstructivetodo,drewapictureonarocknearthevillage.ItshowedanoldHopiwomanbentbeneaththeweightofapiano.Sevenkawashumiliated.Polingaysiwasfurious.Sheknewonlytoowellthatthevillagers,unabletoinfluenceherdirectly,weretakingouttheirspiteonherbypersecutingherdefenselessparents.

Theattitudeofthevillagersmadeherthemoredeterminedtoprovidewellforherparents.Hereshewas,welldressedandwithmoneyenoughtobuyapianoaninstrumentshehadonlydreamedofowningandheragingmotherwasstillwearingthetraditionalblanketdressoftheHopiwoman.

"WhenIgetmyownhousebuilt,"shevowedsecretly,"I'llbuildthemanewrockhouse.Awarmandwell-builtone,withsomeofthemodernconveniences."

Polingaysisometimesrealizedthatshewasforeveronthedefensive,bothwithherownpeopleandthewhitepeople.Sometimesshelookedatherformerclassmates,longsincemarriedandwithgrowingfamilies.Livinginwhatshenowconsideredsqualor,theywereplacidandhappy,grindingcornintheoldway,weavingtheirplaques,andfashioningtheiryuccasiftersandbaskets.

ShetriedtoputherselfintheplaceofoneoftheseHopimatrons.Whatwoulditbeliketogreetthesunriseuntroubled?Surelyitwouldbebliss.Butthatparticularsortofblisswouldneverbehers,shewascertain.Shehadtoomanyobjectivestoreach,thougheachonemeantanotherlongandheartbreakingstruggle.

"Letmypeoplelaugh,"shethoughtdefiantly,herblackeyesalightwithdetermination,apictureofthederisiveHopisinhermind."I'll

showthem.I'llreachmygoalsinspiteofthem."

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Theylaughed,lookingatthesizeofthehouseshewasbuildingshe,anunmarriedwoman.Theylaughedharderwhensheaddedabathroomtoherfloorplanandhadpipeslaidforwater.

"Where'sshegoingtogetwaterforthatbighouseofhers?"theyaskedeachother."There'snowaterintheotherhousesofthevillage,andnooneknowswhenitwillbebroughttothevillage."

Polingaysi'sreactionwastobuildakitchensinkandinstalllavatoriesineachbedroom.Manyyearslaterwaterwasbroughttothevillage.Polingaysiwasoneofthefirsttoapplyforapermittouseit."Youwhitepeopletaughtussanitation,"shetoldthegovernmentauthorities,"nowmakeitpossibleforustopracticeit.Myhouseisreadyforwater.Pleaseconnectitwiththesupply."

ButPolingaysiwasnothappywithherhouse.Shemovedherpianointothelivingroomandtookuphousekeepingwithpride,butthelookofthehousebotheredher.Itshiproofofgalvanizedironwasnotinharmonywiththevillageofflat-roofedrockhouses.Theyblendedintothelandscapelikeextensionsoftherosyearthitself.Herhousestoodout,rawandunlovely.

Besides,itwasnotlargeenough.Withinayearorsoshehadtherooftornoff,addedmorerooms,andfoundnewjoyinitwhenitbegantolooklikeapueblodwelling.

"ThefirstdesignwasaresistingoftheHopiculture,"shetoldherselfinamomentofenlightenment."Itdidn'tbelonghere.Thisonedoes.Butitisstillnotlargeenough.Ishalladdmorerooms...someday."

Alwaystherewasthatsomethingelsebeckoning.Herworkcouldnotbefinishedandletgo.Therewasalwaysanoverlappingofinterestsanewthingcominginbeforetheoldwasfinished.

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TwelveThewomanonthemesashadedhereyes,lookingdownontotheslopethatfannedoutfromthesandstonecap.Fromthisrooftop,thisstill-solidportionoftheruinsofhergrandmother'shouse,Polingaysicouldseeherbighouseinthenewvillage.Afterseveraladditions,itwasstillgrowing.Itwasinharmonywiththedesertnow,paintedinsoftearthcolors,withchimneypotsontheroof.

Itwasmorethanahouse.Itwasavisiblepartofthechildwiththemattedhairwhohadstoodinthefirepitthatrainynight.Itwaspartofthefrightenedschoolgirl;itwasapartofthescolded,ridiculed,rejectedyoungwoman.Itwasapartofeverythingshehadeverbeenorwouldbe.

Slowly,stillimmersedinherthoughts,shedescendedthestonestepsandtakingaramblingroutewanderedclosetothekivaoftheSnakeClan.Suddenlyrealizingwhereshewas,shefeltthereactionofoldsuperstitionsraisinggoosepimplesonherarms.

Infancysheheardagaintheclearcallofthevillagecrierdriftingacrossthemesa:

"Yedwellerofthenortharise;yedwellerofthewestarise;yedwellerofthesoutharise;yedwelleroftheeastarise."

Shecouldimaginehowthepeoplehadlooked,backinherearlychildhood,astheyobedientlycameoutoftheirhousestostandonterracedroofsandlistentowordsthatwouldbringstabsoffear

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toeachheart."InsixteendayspeopleofSnakeClanwillgivetheircourageous,beautifulhearts.Fromnowon,letnooneholdangeragainstanyperson.Withhappinessandhope,letusgoforward."

Vividly,asshepausednearthemeetingplaceoftheoneswhohadbeenconsecratedtothepresentationoftheannualSnakeDance,sherememberedadaywhenshe,asmallgirl,hadgonetothegardenwithherbrothers.Shewasplayingpeacefullywhiletheboyshuntedrabbitswiththeirbowsandarrows.Suddenlyoneoftheboyscriedout,"Run!Run!"

Shelookedup,andturnedcoldwithfright.Snakepriests,searchingforreptilestocarrybacktotheirkiva,werenearby.

Shelookedforherbrothers.Theywererunninglikelittleantelopetowardtheshelteroftherocks.Shouldasnakepriestcatchoneofthemandwrapalivesnakeabouthisneck,claiminghimforSnakeFraternity,therewouldbenoappeal.Theboywouldbeinitiatedintothefraternityforthwith.

Polingaysiwasslightlylessnimblethanherfleet-footedlittlebrothers,andbesidesshehadwantedtoretrieveherlittlewigoro,cachedintheshadeofrabbitbrush.Shesnatcheditupandran,clutchingittoher,butstubbedhertoeandwentsprawling,breakingthepreciouswigoroandspillingthewaterintothethirstysand.

Jumpingup,heartthumpingpainfully,sheinstinctivelycaughttheskirtofherblanketdresstogether,holdingittightlyabouthe:tremblinglegs.Shouldthesnakegatherersapproachher,shewouldpullherdressup,exposingherlegs.Theywouldnotdaretotouchher,sheknew,formenoftheSnakeClanwerepledgedtoavoidwomenduringtheperiodofthedanceandforfourdaysafterward.

Shehadbeensafe.Thegathererswererunningawayfromher,insteadoftowardher.Herbrothershadcomeoutoftheirhiding

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placestocontinuetheirhunting,butshehadgonehomeweepingoverherwigoro.

Herolderbrother,theonewhowastooilltoattendschool,hadbeenpromisedtoaSnakechiefasalastresorttorestorehimtohealth.Hadheregainedhishealth,ashisparentshadhoped,hewouldhavebecomeamemberofSnakeFraternity.

''Whymustourpeopledancethesnakes?"shehadaskedhermother,afterbeingcomfortedoverthelossofthewigoro."Istherenotgreatdanger?"

Fromthequickturnofhermother'shead,sheknewshehadopenedasubjectSevenkapreferrednottodiscuss.However,afteramomentofsilence,Sevenkashiftedherbulkontheplasteredfloorandsaid,"Thereisadanger,mydaughter.But,ifwekeepourheartspure,wewillbeprotected.Allofus,includingthedancers.Duringthedaysoftheceremonialdance,thedancersareacceptedbySnakePeople."

Avisitingneighborspokeupatthatpoint.

"ThereisalegendaboutSnakeWomanandherchildren,"shebegan.

Sevenka,theinformedCoyoteClanwoman,hissedhertosilence.

"Carelessone!Thatstorymustnotbetoldinsummertime.Surelyyourmothertaughtyouthat.Itisnotsafetotellituntilwinterhascomeandthelittlebrothersaresafelyasleepunderground."Herblackeyeshaddartedglancesintothecornersoftheroomasshespoke,asthoughshefearedshemightseebeadyeyesstaringather.

ItwasPolingaysi'sunclewhohadtoldthegirllongagothestoryof"plantingwater"andtheordealofoneofherownancestorswhohadbeenawaterpriest.

"Afterarainmaker,awaterpriest,hadlivedapurelifeforfouryears,"

hehadinformedher,"hewouldbereadytomakehislongjourneytosomelakeorpondformedbygood,sweet

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waterfromanaturalspring.Fromthisreservoirhewouldfillhisclaytransplanterjar.

"But,first,hewouldhavesatthroughmanysecretmeetingsinthekivaoftherainmakers,andhewouldbeginandcontinuehisdangerousandlonelyjourneywithprayersandritualisticactions,foranythingconnectedwithwateris,asyouknow,sacred.Thespiritsarealwayswatchingthosewhosedutyitistobringnewwatertothesprings.

"When,afterhisjourney,hefoundthesweetwater,hewouldpushintohistransplanterjar,withaprayerfeather,bitsofmossandanywaterbugsthathesawinthewater.Thenhewouldfillthejarandstarthomeward,plantingabreathfeatherasaprayerforgoodtothewaterserpentwho'owned'thatspringorpond,andfromwhomhehad'borrowed'thewater.

"Oncetherainprieststartedhomeward,"heruncletoldher,"hecouldnotstoptorestalongtheway.OftenHopisrungreatdistances,andarainpriesthadtobeagoodrunnerforhehadlongdistancestotravel.Hedarednotsethistransplanterjarofwaterdownonthegrounduntilhereachedthefailingspringinwhichitwastobe'planted.'Tosetitonthegroundwouldbetoallowtheessenceofthewatertobetransferredtothatspot,andhisentiretripwouldbefruitless.

"Immediatelyuponreachingthefailingspring,hewouldplacethetransplanterjarinit,withproperprayersforthespring'srenewal.Onceitwasplaced,itmustnotbetouchedorremoved.Verybadthingswouldhappentoanyonewhotouchedit.

"Then,too,therainpriestmustbeastrongmanandagoodone,forhemustnotgonearhiswifeoranyotherwomanforfourweeksafterhisreturnhome.Tobreakthisrulewouldbetobringaterribledeathuponhimselfandthewoman.Itissaid,"hetoldherinaconfidentialtone,

"thattheguiltyoneswouldbloatuplikebladdersandactlikesnakes,squirmingandtwisting,andevenhissing.Also,ifhehadnotperformedalltherituals

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withexactness,heorsomeoneofhisfamilywouldbecharmedbywatersnake.

"Now,"theoldmanhadgoneon,encouragedbyPolingaysi'sraptattention,"Ishalltellyouthestoryoftherainpriest'sordealmany,manymoonsago.

"Itwassummer.TherainpriestwasonhisprayerfuljourneytoaspringontheslopesoftheSnowyHeights.Hewastrottingalong,carryinghisnettedjar,whenaraidingpartyofenemiessurprisedhim.Theywereonhorseback.

"Hiscaptorsforcedthispoorrainpriesttorunbesidetheirhorsesalldaywithoutrest.Histough,leatheryfeetbecameblisteredbythehotsandandrocks.Hewasdriedupforlackofwater,exhaustedbyhunger,fastlapsingintoastateofnumbness.Heknewhecouldnotlivemuchlonger.Hebeggedformercy,buthisenemiestauntedhim.

"'CowardofaHopi!'"theysaid."'Youandyourpeopleboastaboutbeingabletobringrain.Dothatthingnow,orbekilled.Wemusthavewater,anditseemsallthespringsinyourmiserablecountryhavedriedup.'

"Therainpriestwasgladtohavetheopportunitytosavehimself.Whentheyallowedhimtostophefelltohiskneesandbeganprayingearnestly.HeprayedtoGreatBeing.HeprayedtoGoodSpirit.HecriedouthisanguishandfeartoRainPeople,CloudPeople,andalltheunseenforcesofmoisture,tocometohisaid.

"Atlastherememberedthathehadconcealedabreathfeatherinthepouchofsacredcornmealthathungfromabuckskinthongabouthisneck.Hebreathedhisprayeronitand,lookingupatthesky-piercingpeaksofNu-va-da-ka-o-vi,heappealedtotheKachinaPeople.

"'Savemenow,'heprayed."'Iofferyouthisprayer,mylife,myself.'

Hereleasedthefeather.Itdriftedawayonabreezethatlifteditandcarriedittowardthepeaks.

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"Foramomenthewatchedit,hopeinhisheart,thenhebegantodance,andtochantdeepinhisdrythroattheoldwordlesschantsoftheHopi.Sothin,soold,sowearythathewasscarcelymorethanashadowinthesunlight,hedanced.Hedanceduntilaswoonlikedeathcameoverhim.Hedidnotknowwhenhecrumpledandfelltothedesertfloor,faceupward.

"Whenheawakened,itwastofeelwaterstrikinghisface.Hewaslyinginapuddleandrainwascomingdowningreatcoolgusts.Thunderwascrashingandlightningwasdartingitssnaketonguesacrosstheblackclouds.

"'Thankyou,RainPeople,'"theoldmanquavered,sittingup."'Thankyou.Thankyou.Howbeautifulisthemoisture.Youhavesavedme.Nowmyenemiesmustletmegofree.'But,whenhelookedaboutforthem,therewerenonetobeseen.Theyhadbeenfrightenedawaybythemiracle.

"Soontherainslackenedandstopped.Cloudsdriftedaway,allbutone,alittlefeatheryonethathoveredoverthepeaksastheoldrainpriestwalkedhomewardintheeveninglight."

MuchsuperstitionwasmixedintheculturepatternofthetrueHopi,yettherewasgoodinitalso.Walkinginthesilence,onthepalesandofthemesatop,thefitfulwindcaressingher,thenrudelypushingher,byturns,Polingaysiadmittedtoherselfwithsomesadnessthatthiswasadyingculture.Thepatternhadlongagobeenbroken.Whatwouldbeleftofitafteranotherfiftyyears?

Thekivasofothervillageswouldfallintodisuse,ashadthoseofOldOraibi.Nolongerwouldsmokespiralupwardfromoldchimneypotsthatsatbesidethereachingarmsofpoleladders.Nolongerwoulddancersstampandchantintheplazas.Asothersacredshrines

vanishedfromtheircentrallocations,thespiritwouldleavethevillages.

Howcouldshe,insignificantasshewasintheschemeofthings,

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bringherpeoplearealizationofthegoodintheiroldculture,nowthatshehadfinallyrealizeditherself?Couldshe,perhaps,helptoblendthebestoftheHopiculturewiththebestofthewhiteculture,retainingtheessenceofgoodfromboth?

Therewerethelittlechildren.Withthemtheworkofblendingshouldbegin.Shehaddonewhatshecouldintheclassroom,duringherlongcareerasateacher.

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ThirteenTherewasadaywhensixmendroveuptotheHotevillaschool.OneofthemwasHenryRoeCloud,aWinnebagoIndian.HewasaneducatorwiththeIndianService,andwiththeotherswasdoingafieldsurveyofschoolsontheHopireservation.

Polingaysitrembledwithapprehension,butshewassooncalmedbyhisgenial,understanding,friendlyapproach.He,himself,wouldstudyherclassroomprocedures,hetoldher,andwithinafewminutesshefeltateasewithhim.Shewasabletogoaheadwithherteachinginherusualcasualmanner.Shewasplayingagamewiththechildren,thegameoflearning.

Herchildrenhadbuiltaminiaturemesa-toppueblointhesandboxandwerepeoplingitwithsmallclayfigures.Thefiguresweresupposedlybusyatvariousfamiliartasks.Onecarriedwoodforthepikamipitfire.Anotherdroveaburro.Anothermeditatedonarooftop.EachwasfamiliartothechildrenofHotevilla.Shecouldnotgoamissbyteachingfromthefamiliartotheunknown.Therewasrelation,forinstance,betweenburro,horse,automobile,train,airplane.Alsobetweenfiresticks,trees,lumber,woodenhouses.

RoeCloudwasimmediatelyinterested.HewasimpressedwiththeeasywayshehadofleadingthechildrenfromHopitoEnglish.Thelittleonesweretooabsorbedinthegametorealizetheywereincidentallyworkingatlearning.

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''OfalltheclassroomsIhavevisited,"hetoldherlater,"yoursisthemostoutstanding.Yourchildrenarethemostcooperativeandhappy.Underyourinstructiontheyarelearningbotheagerlyandrapidly."

ThatwasinlateMarchof1927,whenshehadbeenteachingforthreeyears.Sheneverforgotthemannorhiskindwords.Tohertheyshonelikebrightstarsinthedarkskyofherterribleuncertainty.Hereinforcedherconfidencewithaletterwhichsaidinpart:

"AftermeetingyouandseeingthewonderfulworkyouaredoingIcouldnothelpbutsendyouthiswordofappreciation.IhavevisitedagreatmanyIndianschools,non-reservationschools,reservationboardingschoolsanddayschoolsamongIndians,butIwanttosaythatnoschoolroomhassopleasedmeasyourown.Thechildrenwereapuredelightbecauseoftheirspontaneity,initiative,resourcefulness,infact,ineverythingthatgoestomakeupthenormaldevelopmentofthelittlechild.

"You,asanIndian,amongyourownpeople,haveatremendouslybiginfluenceoverthem.Coupledwiththisfact,youhavenotonlytheabilitybutthefinetechnicaltrainingtoleadthemintothejoysofeducationandtrainingforthecomingcivilizedlifeoftheIndian.ImerelywritethisletterbecauseIadmireyouverymuchforyourworkandwanttoencourageyouinyourpersonallifeandendeavorsfortheupliftofyourpeople.

"IamkeenlyconsciousofthestruggleseachoneofushassometimesinlonelinesstokeepupthehighstandardswhichwehavelearnedfromtheverybestofAmericanwhitesinthefineschoolswhichwehavebeenprivilegedtoattend.Ihopethatyouwillnevergetdiscouragedandfeelthattheworkisnotworthwhile.Itisinfinitelyworthwhile."

ThefactthatHenryRoeCloudwasalsoanIndianwasofgreat

importancetoPolingaysi.Heknew.Hetoohadstruggled.Perhapsnotinexactlythesameway,butprobablypainfully.

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Shewashappyinherwork.ShelovedherpupilsandwantedtocontinueteachingamongherownHopipeople,butthiswasnottobe.AfteronemoretermatHotevillashewastransferredtoChinle,asmallcommunityinthenortheasterncornerofthehugeNavajoreservationnearCanyondeChelly.

Nowshehadalanguagebarriertocontendwith,forshedidnotspeakNavajoandtheselittlebeginnersdidnotspeakEnglish.But,applyingallherskillandfeelingagreatsympathyforthechildrenwhowereashelplessasshehadbeenwhenshefirstattendedschool,shebegantomakeprogress.Also,shefoundtheNavajochildrenasbright-eyedandintelligentastheHopichildren,andtoherdelighttheyrespondedwithheart-warmingquicknesstohermethods.

Shetaughtthereayear,thenwastransferredagain,thistimetoToadlena,NewMexico,notfarfromFortDefiance,Arizona,andalsoontheNavajoreservation.AgainherpupilswereNavajos.

BythistimePolingaysiwasawomannearingforty,andaperfectlynormalwomanwhowantedahome,husband,andchildren.FromherschooldaysatRiversideshehadshiedawayfrommen,eventhoughinherinnerheartshegreatlydesiredtheircompanionshipandaffection.Shewaslivelyandagooddancerandmanymenhadtriedtoarrangedateswithher,butshehadbeentoouncertainofherselfandtoowaryoftheirmotivestoencouragethem.

GrimlysheremindedherselfthatshewasanIndianandaHopi,andshouldmarryaHopiifsheeverdecidedtomarryanyone.ButamongherHopiacquaintancestherewasnoonetowhomshewasattracted,andtheHopiyoungmen,influencedbytheirtradition-boundparents,hadheartilydisapprovedoftheHopiteacherasawife.

"PolingaysiIShe'stoohighup,"oneofthemexclaimedwhenitwassuggestedhepaycourttotheprogressivedaughterofthe

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Qoyawaymas."Shedoesn'twanttobeaHopi;shewantstobeawhiteman."

Polingaysiflaredupwhenagossiprepeatedtheremarktoher.

"AtleastI'mnotslavingmylifeawayasotherHopiwomendo,"shesaid."Grindingcornuntilmybackbreaks,carryingwater,scorchingmyhandonthepikistone,havingababyeverytwoyearsthatlifeisnotforme."

Alwaysinthebackofhermindwastheknowledgethatherparentswouldneverapproveofamixedmarriageforoneoftheirchildren.

"Mixingthebloodisnotgood,"theyhadoftentoldherseriously."WhenyoumarrysomeoneitshouldbeaHopi,andyoushouldbemarriedintheoldHopiwayofwashingthehairtogether."

Herhometraininghadbeenstrong.AtRiverside,atBethelAcademy,attheBibleInstitute,andduringheryearsatTubaCityandHotevilla,shehadmetmanyinterestingmenwhohadprofessedaninterestinher.Mostofthemhadbeenwhitemen.Sheheldthemaway,laughingofftheirattemptstoberomantic.

ButatToadlenashebeganthinkingseriouslyofmarriage.Shehadmettwoyoungmen,verydifferent,butbothappealingtoher.Oneofthemwasatall,handsomefellow,partSiouxandpartFrench,veryIndianinappearance.TheotherwaspartCherokeebutlookedlikeawhiteman.Whenthesecondbegansuingforherattention,herinterestinthefirstwaned.Forthefirsttimeinherlifesheallowedherfemininityfullswayandstoppedbeingonthedefensive.

Whenaproposalofmarriageconfrontedherandadecisionhadtobemade,Polingaysiwashauntedbythethoughtofherparents'disapproval.Shelongedtobelovedandwanted,hersuspicionserasedforalltime,but,ifshemarriedthisman,wouldhebewelcomedin

Oraibi?Also,couldshecontinuetoteachandstillbeagoodwife?

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Itwasachallenge.Shefaceditasshehadfacedotherchallenges,butthistimeitwasherheartspeaking.Sheacceptedtheproposal,buriedtheinsistentthoughtthatperhapsthetimewasnotyetrightfortheblendingofblood,stoppedworryingbecauseshecouldnotthinkofLloydWhiteasIndianlikeherself.

Theyweremarriedinthespringof1931atBloomfieldTradingPostontheoutskirtsofToadlena,Mr.andMrs.Bloomfieldhadopenedtheirhometotheyoungcouple.ExceptforthoughtsofthewhisperingthatwouldtakeplaceinOraibiwhennewsofhermarriagereachedtheHopivillage,Polingaysiwashappyandcontented.Herhusbanddidnotobjecttoherteaching.Hewaskindandunderstanding.ButshebegantoyearntowardherownhomeinOraibi.Howpleasantitwouldbetolivethereinthatcoolandroomyplace,withthecottonwoodshadingthebigbackyard!Whenschoolclosed,sheandherhusbandwenttoOraibi.

Herfatherandmothergreetedtheirnewson-in-lawwarmly.Theytriedtomakehimwelcome.ItdidnotworryPolingaysiatfirstthatothersofhervillageremainedaloof,theireyesscornfullywatchful.SheandLloydwouldstaythroughthesummer,thenreturntoToadlena.

InToadlena,Polingaysihadgainedconfidenceinherselfandinherteachingability,thislastbroughtaboutpartlythroughthefriendshipoftwowomensupervisorswhovisitedherclassroomfrequently.

"Keepcopiesofyourwork,"oneofthemconstantlyurged."Sendacopytome.Please."

PolingaysihadnoideathattheywereworkingbehindthesceneswithothermembersoftheofficialIndianServicestaff.Itwasnotuntilmuchlaterthatshefullyrealizedthefloweringofthisfriendship.

DuringtheyearsofteachingontheNavajoreservationPolingaysihadnotbeenunmindfuloftheneedsofherparents.She

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hadsavedmoneynotonlyforherownhouse,butforthebuildingofaneatrockhouse,completewithrunningwater,linoleum,goodbeds,andotherfurniture,fortheagingpair.Bythattime,theirchildrenmarriedorawayworking,theQoyawaymaswerealone.

Polingaysi'senlargedhouse,withitsupstairsbedrooms,demandedthatitbeusedtoadvantage,andduringsummervacationsshereceivedpayingguests.Nootherplaceexistedwithinmanyhotdesertmileswheretravelerscouldobtainfoodandlodging,andbeforelongherhomewaswellknowntothosewhowishedtovisitHopilandincomfort.

AmongherguestswereJudgeandMrs.LeslieDenmanandMr.andMrs.CharlesdeYoungElkusofSanFrancisco,whowereinteresteddeeplyinIndianwelfare,art,andhandicrafts.ThelateMrs.HaroldIckeswasalsoavisitoratPolingaysi'shome,anditwasshewhotoldtheHopiteacherthatsheshouldbeteachingamongherownpeople.

''Iknowit,andIwanttocomehome,"Polingaysisaid,tearswellingupandspillingoverontohercheeks,"butIhaven'tbeenabletogetatransfer."

"We'llseeaboutthat,"saidtheCabinetmember'swife.

WhatpartthegraciousladyplayedinthefinaloutcomePolingaysineverknew,butitwasnotlongbeforeshereceivednoticethatshewastobetransferrednot,however,toOraibi,buttoPolacca.Atleastshewouldbeamongherownpeople,andshecouldbeathomeeveryweekend.Accordingtothenotice,shewouldbetransferredtoOraibiassoonastherewasavacancy.

Hermarriagewasnotgoingwell.Sheknewitcouldnotsurvive.Shewouldnotfightitstermination.Yet,briefandbittersweetthoughithadbeen,shedidnotregretit.Insteppingfromanancientcultureintothemodernworld,shehadfoundmanyproblems.Shehadbeenable

tohurdlethoseoftheintellect;thoseoftheemotionsweremoredifficult.

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Shecouldbelieveherparents'warningthatshewouldnotbeabletoadjustinmarriagetoamanwhoseinterestsweresoforeigntoherown.Shecouldalsorealizethatshehadbeenindependenttoolong,andhadfoughttoohardforherpreciousindependence,totakesecondplaceinherhome.HerownpeoplewerenotsurprisedwhensheandLloydparted.

"YoushouldhavemarriedaHopi,"theysaid."Longago,whenyouwereayounggirl,youshouldhavemarriedintheHopiway."

"Yousee!"Hopiparentstoldtheiryoungpeople."Intermarriagedoesn'tworkout.IfanyonecouldmakeasuccessofsuchamarriageitshouldhavebeenPolingaysi,whohaslivedsolongamongwhitepeopleandknowstheirways."

Polingaysi'sparents,asusual,werekindandquiet.Theyutterednobarbedcomments.Theyhadwarnedher,butshehadgoneherheadstrong,stubbornway,asalways.Ifshesufferedasaresult,theyweresorry;therewasnothingtheycoulddoaboutit.Asshehadoftentoldthem,nooneelsecouldliveherlifeforher.

ThedayschoolandcommunitybuildingsofPolaccawereneartheoldPolaccaspring.Abouteighthundredfeetaboveit,onanarrowtongueofrockcalledFirstMesa,werethepicturesquevillagesofWalpi,Sichomovi,andHano.LikeOldOraibi,abouttwentymileswestward,thevillagehousesseemedtobeapartofthemesa'srockycap.Strangerswereoftenunawareofthevillagesuntiltheycaughtaglintoflightonawindowpane,orsawsmokerisingfromthechimneys.Then,lookingupfromthevalleyroad,theymadeouttheunevenoutlinesoftheterracedrockhouses.

Polingaysi'sfirstprojectinthenewlocationwastowintheconfidenceofthePolaccapeople.BecauseshedidnotspeaktheNavajo

language,shehadbeenunabletomaketheacquaintanceoftheparentsofherNavajopupils.Therewasnosuchbarrierhere.Shebeganvisitingthehomesonthemesaandwheneverpossiblelearnedtheproblemsofherstudents.Inthisshewas

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successful.Becauseofherinterest,theparentslikedher.Theresultwasincreasedconfidencefromthechildren.

Anestablishedandrecognizedteachernow,aftermorethanadecadeintheclassroom,Polingaysinolongershiveredinhershoesattheapproachofwhiteeducators,norwassheanylongerafraidofthecondemnationofherownHopipeople.

Fromherfirstdaysasateacher,PolingaysihadbeenconvincedthatsincethevitalinterestofHopichildrencoincidedcloselywiththeirspiritualnatureandtheirseasonalactivities,theirlessontopicsshouldbeorganizedintosequentialpatternsandexperiencessuitedtotheirdevelopment.

Harvestingandstoringoffoodswouldengagetheirinterestwhenschoolopenedinthefall.ThewinterKachinadancesandtheretellingofancientlegendswouldbenaturaltopicsduringthecoldmonths.Gatheringofwildgreens,footracing,games,andplantingoffamiliarseedswouldprovidelessonsforspringandearlysummer.FoodfamiliartotheHopiwouldprovideyear-roundtopics.

Shehadencounteredwhatseemedtoherasurprisingamountofopposition,somewhatoffsetbytheenthusiasticapprovalofsucheducatorsasherToadlenasupervisors.Atonestageofhercareer,whenshehadbeencalledtoaccountbecauseofherinsistenceonteachingfromtheknowntotheunknown,aWashingtonofficial,impressedbyherlogic,haddefendedher.

"Thereshouldbenoparrotlearning,"Polingaysihaddeclaredthen,rememberingherownparrotingschooldaysandtheirfruitlessnessandconfusion.

DuringherearlydaysatHotevillatheHopiparentsthemselveshadcausedtroubleforherbyobjectingtohermethods,sayingtheydidnotwanthertoteachtheirchildrenaboutthingstheyalreadyknew.A

Bakabichiefhadconsoledher.Hobblingovertoherafterthemeeting,hehadtakenherhandgentlyinhisdry

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andwitheredpalm,saying,"Daughter,donotallowthemtodownyou.Youareright."

ItwasIndianCommissionerJohnCollierwhoeventuallygaveherthegreatestsupport.Overnight,andtotheconsternationofteachersconfirmedintheoldwayofteachingIndianchildren,hechangedtheprocedure.

Insteadofthinkingofthemas"benightedchildrenofnature,"whomustbe"redeemedfromthedarknessoftheirsuperstitionsandignorance,"hethoughtofthemasworthypartsofthewhole''weboflife"andrecognizedthefactthatdegradingindividualsmayresultindegradingthesocietytowhichtheybelong.

InsteadofthinkingofIndianchildrenaspeoplewhosenaturalstatewasoneof"moralandmentalstupor,"herecognizedthedynamicinnerrelationshipoftheirownculturepatternsandsuggestedthatteachingshouldcomefromwithininsteadofwithout.Superimposededucation,herealized,wouldneverreachdeeplyintotheIndianconsciousness.

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FourteenWhen,aftertwosuccessfultermsatPolacca,shewastransferredtoOraibi,Polingaysireturnedwithrenewedconfidencetoherownvillage,onlytofindthatshefacedthefateofmostprophets.

Theresistancewaspartlybroughtaboutbecauseanotherteacher,muchlikedbytheOraibiteachingstaff,hadbeentransferredtomakeroomforher.

"WhoisthisMrs.White?"someoftheteachersaskedangrily."Whyisshesoimportant?"Theywerepreparedtodislikeher.

Notsotheprincipal,GuyDickerson.Hereceivedherwithwarmfriendliness.

Unkindthingsweresaidabouther.Hermaritalunhappinesswasrakedupandcallouslydiscussed,andstorieswererelayedtoherbywell-meaningfriends.Thoughsheshouldhavebeenhappy,sinceshehadgainedherobjectivesastomethodofteachingandchoiceofvillage,shebecamemoreandmoredespondent.ThefactthatbothGuyDickersonandhiswifewerepartIndianmadenoimpressiononheratthetime.Theywerenotasdarkasshewas.

Shebecamesilent,introspective,brooding.Oncemoreshewastrappedinaspider-webstructureofsuspicion,basedonherownfears.Themoreshetriedtopushitaway,themoreentangledshebecame.Thesenseofrejectionwhichhadhauntedherallherlifebowedherspiritdownwithgrief.BecauseofherHopiheritage,

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shetoldherself,shewouldneverbefullyacceptedbythewhiteworld,andherownHopipeopleresentedherinterestinthatworldandherabilitytoworkinit.Whichwaycouldsheturn?

Themanyjoyousexperiencesofherlifetime,themanytimesshehadwonthroughtohergoalswithhonorsinthefaceofopposition,theverysolidachievementsshehadtohercreditinthefieldofeducation,thebackingofwhitefriendsandtheapprovaloftheIndianparentsofherpupilsmatterednotatallinherdepression.Nothingcheeredher.Feelingthatshewasafailure,shebegantodreadeachnewday.

Finally,indesperation,sherevertedtotheIndianway.Onaspringeveningafteraparticularlytryingdaywhensharpwordshadbeenspokenbysomeoftheotherteachersandwhatsheconsideredtobeunjustaccusationshadbeenmade,Polingaysileftherbighouseandwalkedrapidlytothesouth,andintothedesolatestretchofshiftingsanddunes.

Atonetime,accordingtolegendandanthropologicalfindings,ancestorsofthepresentPueblopeoplehadlivedintheOraibivalley,alongwhathadprobablybeenagentleandmeanderingstream.Nowthewaterwaywasdeeplyincisedandblowingsandpiledupindunes.Thewindwascontinuallypushingthesandasidetorevealartifacts.Potsherdswerescatteredinabundancealloverthearea.Polingaysiherselfhaduncoveredwholepotsthere,potsthatmusthavebeeninusemanycenturiesbefore.

Fewpeoplevisitthedunes.Theteacher,burstingwithresentment,disillusionment,heartache,anddespair,wasalone.Asmallfigureagainstthetoweringwallsofwind-rippledsand.

Shestoppedbesidetheoldtreethatstruggled,yearinandyearout,againstthecuttinggrainsofsandandtearingwindsthatseemeddeterminedtoremoveitfromitsstation.Standingthere,herhandon

theroughbarkofthecottonwood,shequestionedherself.

Whowasshe?Whydidshekeeponstruggling,struggling?

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Whyshouldotherpeoplebesocruel?Whyshouldtheybejealousofherwhohadneverwantedtomakeanyonejealous?Shehadsolittle.Nomoneyexcepthersmallsalary.Herhard-wonhouse.Herinadequateeducation.Whyshouldshekeepontryingsohardtoaccomplishsomethinginherlifetime?Shewastiredtodeathitselfoffighting.

Suddenly,emotionsoverwhelmingher,sheflungherselffacedownwardonthesand,clutchinginanguishatMotherEarth,asthoughshemust,must,havesomethinggoodandsoundandfamiliartoclingto.Notforanythingintheworldwouldshehaveallowedanyonetoseeherlikethis,helplessanddespairing,butaloneinthedunesshecouldopenthefloodgatesofheremotionsandtherebycleanseherspirit.

Graduallythestormspentitself.Tearstained,Polingaysisatup,openingherhandstoallowtheclutchedsandtorunout.Someofthegrainsclungtohermoistpalmsandshemadeamovementtobrushthemoff,butwasarrestedbythecolorsofthegrains.Snifflingalittle,blinkingbackthelastofhertears,shelookedmoreclosely.Thoseparticles!Howbeautifultheywere.Howvariedtheircolors.Red,tan,yellow,pink,white,black,gray,brown.Eachdifferentinsize,color,andconstructionperhaps,butcombininginalltheirvarietytomakeupthegreatpinkishmassesofthedunes.

Sand,earth,herthoughtsranon,necessarytotheworldaspeoplearenecessary.Asshewasnecessary?Wasn'tsheapartofthe"pinkdune"ofhumanity,andthereforeofworthintheover-allschemeofthings?

Thoughtfullyshebrushedthesandfromherhands,driedhereyes,blewhernoseandtidiedtheloosenedstrandsofherhair,thengotresolutelytoherfeet.

"Allright,"shepromisedherself."Iwon'trunawayfromanyoneany

more.Theydon'tknowwhatthey'redoingtome.They'renotreallymeanpeople.Theydon'tintendtohurtme.Imustn't

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getsoangrywiththem.InsteadImustfindawaytohelpthemtounderstandme.Buthow?"

ThroughhermindflittedtheHopitenetofnonresistance.Don'tfight.Don'tthinkspitefulthingsaboutothers.Don'ttrytogetevenwhentheyhurtyou.Toseekrevengeistohurtyourselfmorethanyouhurtthem.

Shethoughtthatoverasshewalkedslowlyhomeward.Thatwasinessencetheteachingofthemissionaries.Turntheothercheek.Lovethosewhodespitefullyuseyou.Yet,strangelyenough,themissionarieshadbeenunabletoseeanygoodintheHopiculturepatternwhoseteachingsweresosimilar.

"I'msorrytheycannotseethosetruths,"Polingaysithought,"butIamgratefultothem.BecauseofthemIdonotawaitthecomingofOurBrotherasmyunconvertedpeopledo.Forme,andmanyothers,Hehascome.IhavegivenHimmyheartandsoul;whathaveItofear,exceptmyownlackofunderstanding?"

Thesunwassetting.Longshadowsslidacrossthewashandupthegildedmesatotheeast.Thedesertairwasstillandsweet.Throughthestillnesscameavoice.Itwasthecallofthevillagecrier,makinganannouncement.ThatthreadofsoundreachedouttoPolingaysi,callingtoher,bindinghertoherpeoplewithitsfamiliaraccents,bringinghertoarealizationofherdutytoherstudents,andtoheremployers.

Thatwastrulytheturningofthetide.Assooftenhappens,shehadbuttolaydownherarms,stopsuspectingeveryoneofmaliceinthemaking,andtheentiresituationsmoothedout.

Thenextdayasupervisorcametoherclassroom."Whathaveyouplannedfortoday?"shewasasked.

"Inkeepingwithmy'HappyHome'chart,I'mtakingthechildrenonafieldtrip.We'regoingtosearchforsignsofspring.Wouldyouliketocomewithus?"

"I'dloveto,"saidthesupervisor.

Thelittleonesweredelightedattheprospectofatrip.Scattered

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outonthesandyslope,theteacherandsupervisorinthecenter,theywalkedtowardOraibiWashbelowtheschool.

"Whatarewelookingfor?"theteachercalled.

"Wearelookingforsignsofspring,"thechildrenchorused.

"Whohasfoundasignofspring?"

"Ihave.Itisabladeofgreengrass."

"Ihave.Ihavefoundantsmakinganewanthill."

"Whatcoloraretheants?"

"Theantsarered."

"Asyoucansee,"Polingaysitoldthesupervisor,"wearedevelopingavocabulary.Thisiswithinthescopeoftheireverydayexperience,yetpresentedthiswayitbecomesanadventureandtheyarediscoverers.YouwillseehowwecorrelatethisexcursionwiththelearningofEnglish,writing,spelling,drawing,andmathematics,aswellaswithreading."

Justthenshesawthenewlymadeopeningofthehomeofagroundspider.AllHopichildren,rearedintypicalHopihomes,knowlegendsofwiseoldSpiderGrandmother.BecomingallIndianherselfinherdesiretoreachtheinterestofthelittleonesshewasguiding,Polingaysiwentdownonherknees,calling,"Oh,come.Come.HereisSpiderGrandmother'shome.Thisisaspringsign,too."

Thechildrencamerunningtocrowdaboutherasshebentoverthesmooth,roundholeintheground,callingincoaxingaccents,"SpiderGrandmother!Oh,youmagicSpiderGrandmother,pleasegivemeyourcornmush."

Thelittleoneslaughedindelightandsomeofthemfollowedtheir

teacher'sexamplebeforetheywanderedondowntheslope.

"ThisisthewaywelearnaboutNature,whilelearningwords,"Polingaysiconfided."There'ssomethingdownhereIwanttoshowthem.Idohopethesunhasn'tdestroyedit."

Thesomethingwasatthebottomofthewash.Atinystreamflowedthere,throughthicketsofwillows,tenderlygreening.An

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occasionalleaflesscottonwoodtowered.High,sandy,overhangingwallscastdeepshadowswhereremnantsofwinterlingered.

"Look,children,"theteacherdirectedthem."Seethosedesignsonthesandbesidethestream.Aretheylikethedesignsyouseeonyourwindowpanesoncoldmornings?Thismeansthatcoldhasbeeninthewashduringthenight.TheBahanathewhiteman-callsthelittlefrostboyJackFrost.Whatshallwecallhim?"

"JackFrostBoy,"theychorused,squattingtoseemorecloselythebeautifultraceriesofthefrost,andtoask,"Whereareyou,JackFrostBoy?Comedrawsomemorepicturesforus."

"Hemustbeanartist,"Polingaysisaid."Don'tyouthinkso?"

Theyreturnedtotheschoolroom,brimmingwithideas.Shegavethemafewminutesofrest,thensaid,"Nowtellme,onpaper,whatyouhaveseen."

Ontheupperhalvesoflargesheetsofnewsprintthechildrendrewpicturesoftheirtrip.Somedrewpicturesofthewallsofthewashandthefernliketraceriesofthefrost.Othersdrewanthillswithantsrunningabout,orspiderpictures,orotherscenestheyhadobservedandenjoyed.EachexpressedwhatwasinhismindwithouthelporhindrancefromPolingaysi,thenbroughttheresulttoherforhelpinwritingbelowthepicturethestoryitexpressed.

Afterward,thepictureswiththeirprintedstoriesweretackedupandadmired.Eachchild,withtheteacher'shelp,readthestoryhehadwritten.

"Inthefall,"Polingaysitoldthesupervisor,"weuseharvestideas.Onedaywemayhaveawatermelonparty.Wesketchthemelon,thendivideitandeatit.Wewritedescriptivewordsaboutitsmooth,round,green,cool,sweet,perhaps.Wecounttheseedsineachportionof

melon.Welisttheusesfortheseeds.Theycanbeparchedandeaten.Theycanbeusedtooilthepikistone,andsoon.

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''Wetalkabouthomelife.Wetakethechild'sownhomeexperienceasabasisanduseittoteachhimaboutthelargercommunitylife,andwegoonfromtheretoteachhimaboutthestate,nation,andworld.Inthatwayhebecomesawareofhisrelationtolifeandhisresponsibilityasanindividual."

Howwellshetaught,howmuchhermethodswereappreciatedbythoseinhighercirclesofeducationbecameapparentwhenshewaschosenfromalltheIndianServiceteachersinthenationtodemonstrateherteachingmethodsatthe1941summersessioninChemawa,Oregon,beforeagatheringofsupervisorsandteachersfromtheUnitedStatesandAlaska.

Sheacceptedthisasonemorechallenge,butarrivedinChemawainanactualstateoffearandtrembling.

"HowcanIdoit?"sheaskedherself,wishingshecouldracebacktoOraibiinanonymity."Willtheseteachersunderstandmymethods?Willtheythinktheycanmakeuseofthem?"

Theydidunderstand.Shedemonstratedsuccessfully,andattheconclusionwasinastateofcollapse,sogreathadbeenthestrain.

OnthereturntriptoArizonashethoughtbackovertheyearsofherstubbornresistance,backtoherfirstclassroomdaysatHotevillain1924,andshelaughedatherself.Shehadbeensopositiveherapproachtoteachinghadbeencorrect.Sheknewitwasright,becausethewayshehadbeentaughtwassoverywrong.

Shehadprovedherself,notonlyintheChemawademonstrationsbutthroughouttheyearsofherteaching,anditwascleartoherfinallywhyHenryRoeCloudandothergovernmentofficialshadspentagreatdealoftimeinherclassroomsduringtheirinspectiontours.ShecouldalsounderstandwhyherbelovedinspectoratToadlenahadinsistedthatsheretaincopiesofher"HappyHome"chart.

Nodoubtithadseemedstrangetothematfirsttoheara

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teacheraskherpupilstosetthestudycourseforthedayandtoimposetheirownrulesofconductontheirclassmates,buttheyhadeventuallyseenthewisdomofit.

Foronething,ithadmadethechildren,youngthoughtheywere,awareoftheirresponsibilitytothemselves,theirteacher,andtheirclassmates.Oncehavingstatedtheirdesires,itwaseasierforthemtofollowthrough.

Thewomanonthemesastoppedsuddenly,herheadcomingupwithajerk.Hadn'tshestatedherdesirestotheGreatTeacher?Wasn'tituptohertofollowthrough?

AfterChemawa,shehadreturnedtotheclassroom,butwithlessenedenthusiasm.Thatexperiencehadbeentheclimaxofherteachingyears.Thedailysamenessofthesucceedingmonthshadbeenanticlimactic.Shehadbecomemoreandmorerestless.Shewantedchange.Sheneededanotherbigchallenge.

PolingaysiwassurprisedandthrilledwhenshereceivedaninvitationfromDr.T.J.Tormey,presidentofArizonaStateTeachersCollegeinFlagstaff,topresentaprogrambyherprimaryrhythmbandatoneoftheregularcollegeassemblies.

Whensherelayedtheinvitationtoherpupilsthelittleonesbecamegreatlyexcited,thoughapprehensive.

"I'mafraidofwhitepeople.Wemightgetlostintown.Idon'thavegoodshoestowear,"theyworried.Butfearssoongavewaytoanticipation.

Thechildrencarriedthenewshome.Theirmothers,immediatelyinterested,cametotheschooltoverifytheinvitationsandtodiscuss

necessarypreparations.

MaterialformakingbanduniformshadbeenprovidedbytheHopiIndianAgencysuperintendent,buttheclothhadtobemade

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up.Thiswassomethingthewomenofthevillagecoulddo.Mothersandotherrelativesandfriendscametohelpwiththesewing.MembersoftheGirlScoutsalsohelpedtosewthesimpleseams.Whenthefirstbluecape,linedwithgoldenyellowsatin,wasmodeledbyoneofthechildren,nodoubtlingeredinthestudents'mindsaboutwhetherornottheywantedtogo.

"Whatshallwedotogetready?Wewanttolookjustright,"oneofthemdeclared,andtheothersagreed.

Polingaysiaskedforsuggestionsandwrotethemontheboard:

Wemusthavecleanhands.Wemusthavecleanfaces.Wemustnothavesoresonourbodies.Wemustnothavebugsonus.Wemustwearcleanclothes.Wemustpolishourshoes.Wemusthaveourhaircut.WemustnotbeashamedtospeakEnglish.Wemustnotbeafraidofwhitepeople.

Theycountedtheweeks.Theycountedthedays.

"Onlythreeweeksmore...onlytwoweeksmore."Astimeforthetripneared,tensionmounted."Onlythreedaysnow,"theytoldeachother,eyeswide,facesshining,"untilwegotoFlagstaff."

Sometimestheyturnedworriedcountenancestowardtheirteacherandasked,"Arewereallygoing,Mrs.White?"

Polingaysirealizedtheresponsibilityoftakingtwenty-sixlittlechildrenmorethanahundredmilesacrossthereservationandintoFlagstaff.Theroadwasroughandwindswept.Thecountrywasunpopulated.

Shediscussedtheproblemwiththesuperintendentandhiswife;itwasdecidedtosecurethefullestcooperationofthe

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parents.Todothistheymadepersonalcalls.Theywerewarmlywelcomedeverywhere.

Onemothersaid,''I'mgladtoletmyboygo.Hetalksaboutthetripeveryday.Hewantstogo."

Anothersaid,"IneverhadthatchancewhenIwenttoschool.Yes,Iwantmychildtogo."

AtthevillageofOldOraibi,upontherimrock,aHopifathersaid,"It'salluptoourboy.He'safraidofgettinglost.MywifeandItoldhimitwouldbeniceforhimtogo."

DuringthosevisitsPolingaysiandherteacherfriendswereimpressedbytheconsiderationoftheparentsfortheirchildren,andthetenderwarmththatexistedbetweenparentandchild.Itwasplaintoseethattheylovedandtrustedeachother.

UseoftheAgencybushadbeenpromisedfortransportation,and"goinginthebigbus"frequentlycroppedupinthechildren'sconversations.Thenthefirstdisappointmentcame.Thebushadbrokendown.Itcouldnotberepairedintimefortheexcursion.Atruckwouldbemadeavailableinstead.

Thethoughtoftakingatripinanopentruck,withallofthoselittlechildrenexposedtotheuncertainspringweather,oftenverycoldandblusteryat7,000-footFlagstaff,wasdiscouraging.Polingaysiconsideredcancelingthevisitaltogether.

ThateveningthemotherscametoPolingaysi'sbighousetolearnthetimeofdeparture.Whenshetoldthemthenewstheywereterriblydisappointed,notforthemselvesbutfortheirchildren.

"Whatwillthechildrendo?They'velivedforitandworkedfordaystogetready.Theyaretakingbathstonight.They'vewashedtheirhair.Isn'tthereanythingwecando?"theyasked.

Polingaysiknewtheirlittleoneswell.Sheknewhowdisappointedthey'dbetohavetheirhopesblastedatthislastminute.Itwouldbetoomuch.

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"We'llgo!"shetoldthemothers."I'lltakethetiniestonesinmylittlecar.Theothersmustgointhetruck.Besurethey'rewarmlydressedandhaveblanketstowrapupin."

OnthemorningofApril8,thechildrengotupearly.Theyarrivedattheschoolhouseatsixo'clock.Mothersandoldersisterscamewiththemtohelpthemdontheirwhitedresses,andwhiteshirtsandpants,overwhichtheyproudlyfastenedtheflashyblueandgoldcapes.

Thechildrencrowdedinfrontofthebigmirrorintheclassroom,admiringthemselves;someevenranhometoshowtheirfathersandotherrelativeshowsplendidtheylooked.AsforPolingaysi,shebecamethecustodianoftheirshoppingmoney,whichtheywouldspendinFlagstaffstoresaftertheprogram.

Thenthetruckrumbledintotheschoolyardandthechildrenrantoclimbintoit.Mattresseshadbeenplacedonthetruckbedandthechildrenwrappedtheirwarmblanketsaboutthemandhuddledtogetherforwarmth,trustingthesuperintendentandhiswife,Mrs."Dee,"totransportthemsafelytoFlagstaff.

Polingaysiownedasmallcarwithacrampedbackseat.Shecrammedsevenlittleonesintoit,thesmallestchild,alittlegirlnamedFrances,ridingastridePolingaysi'sback.

Atlasttheywereoff,thechildrensinginghappily.Then,desertpeoplethoughtheywere,theygotlost,takingthewrongroadattheLeuppbridgeovertheLittleColoradoandheadingintotheCanyonPadrecountry.Outthere,inthatdesolate,rockyregionofchillwinds,thetruckdevelopedenginetrouble.But,afteraconsiderabledelay,thelittlegroupreachedU.S.Highway66,severalmileseastofFlagstaff,andspiritsroseagain.

"Nowwe'reonthegoodblackroad,"thechildrenexulted.AstheynearedFlagstaffandthedesertrabbitbrushandstuntedjunipergave

waytoPonderosapine,oneofPolingaysi'spassengerscriedout,"Oh,lookatthetrees.Sobig.Sotall.Oh,Mrs.White!

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Seethetallmountains.Allwhiteontop.Isitsnow?Lookatthehillswithnothinggrowingonthem."

ThesewerethecinderhillsthatmarktheareaeastofSunsetCrater.

Whentheyreachedtheoutskirtsoftownthelittleonesbegantoshrinkfromthesignsofcivilization,soforeigntothem.

"Houses.Lotsofhouses.Manycars.Manywhitepeople,"theyobserved.

LittleFrancesbenttowhisperinherteacher'sear,"I'mnotafraidofwhitepeople."

ThefriendlyreceptiongiventhematthecollegebyMissMildredKiefer,demonstrationteacheroftheprimaryclass,helpedputthechilledandwearylittlechildrenatease.Afterashortrest,theywereseatedatdecoratedtablesloadedwithgoodieswhichimmediatelyexcitedtheirimaginationsandstimulatedtheirappetites.ThenwhitechildrencameinandtookplacesneartheirHopiguests.Atfirstonlyshyglanceswereexchanged,butbeforetheluncheonwasoverHopiandwhitechildrenwerehappilychattingandlaughingtogether.

Soonitwastimefortheprogram.TheHopiyoungsterswereawedbythesizeoftheauditorium.Fearwaswrittenontheirsolemnfaces.

"MaybeIgetscared,"onechildwhispered."Look.Somanyseats."

Whentheytooktheirplacesonstageandthecurtainwaspulledasidetorevealtheminalltheircostumedsplendor,atthesametimerevealingtothemtheupturnedwhitefacesoftheaudience,theyblinkedinsomethingclosetostupefaction.Polingaysibroughtthemoutoftheirdazebyplayingtheintroduction,thentheirleadergavethemthesignal.Theyforgotthemselvesandthestrangewhitepeopleinplayingwithenthusiasmandskilltheirmuchpracticedselections.

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TwoHopisongs,sungfirstinHopi,theninEnglishdelightedtheiraudienceandbroughtthemsoul-warmingapplause.Lookingatthem,glowingwithaccomplishment,PolingaysithoughtofHenryRoeCloud'sletter.

"Ihopeyouwillnotbediscouragedandthinktheworkisnotworthwhile.Itisinfinitelyworthwhile,"hehadwritten,and,studyingtheexcitedfacesofhercharges,sheknewhehadbeenright.

Aftertheprogramcametheanticipatedandpromisedshoppingperiod.Thechildrenwereallbutfranticatthesightofthemanydesirablethingsallsortsoftoys,Eastereggs,littleyellowcottonchickens,candy,rabbits.Butwithsuchasmallamountofmoneytospend,decisionswereallbutimpossible.Theylingered,lookingandlonging.

Thestoresinwhichtheyshoppedwereonthemainstreetofthetown.Itparalleledtherailroadtracks.Whenatraincamewhistlingthrough,theyscreamed,"Train!Train!"andrushedoutsidetowatchitpass.Someofthemhadneverseenone.

Thetriphomewasaquietone.Theyweretired,butwhentheytumbledoutofthetruckafterthelonganddustyride,theywereunanimousaboutwantingtogoagain."Imademanyfriends.IwanttogoliveinFlagstaff!Let'sgobacksoon,"theysaid,andFrancessighedblissfully,"IjustdowanttoliveinFlagstaffallthetime."

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FifteenPolingaysi'sfatherhaddevelopeddiabetesandwasfailingrapidly.Shetookhimintoherhome,whereshecouldgivehimgoodnursingcare.

Hedelightedintalkingtoherabouttheolddays.Amused,hiseyestwinkling,heremindedherthatshehadfollowedhimwhenshewaslittle,butlateronhadtakentheleadwhilehewalkedmeeklybehindher.

Heenjoyedsittingintheshadeofthecottonwoodtreehehadplantedinwhatwastobecomeherhouseyard,andoftenhepointedoutothertrees,cottonwoodsorpoplarsorfruittrees,whichhehadplantedinthevalleyandonthehillside.Hewasproudofthelonetreeinthesanddunes.ItwastheonlyremainingoneofseveralheandhissonMatthewhadplantedthereyearsbefore.Thetrees,spotsofgreenwherebirdsmightnestandwearypeoplefindshadeonhotdays,weregrowingbecausehehadbeenprogressiveenoughtoseeaneedforthem.

HehadhelpedPolingaysiplantpeaches,pears,apples,andapricots,andthetreeswereflourishing,thoughwateringhadcosthermanyabackache.Shehadstartedavineyard,too,withhishelp,andthegrapesweresweet.Hopichildrenharvestedmostofherfruit,buttheportionshesalvagedforcanningwasdelicious.

FredQoyawaymawastheonlyoneofPolingaysi'sfamilywho

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hadnotacceptedtheteachingsofthemissionaries.Finally,hetoobecameaChristian.Beingatonewithhisfamilymadehimveryhappy.

"AlwaysIhavebeenstandingatthedoor,"heremarkedindeepcontentment,"butnowIcancomeinsidewithmyfamily.NolongermustIbeapartfromyou."

Hehadmuchtorememberandtalkaboutduringthosedaysofhisillness.H.R.Voth,themissionary,hadrecognizedtheHopiman'skeennessofmindandhadtaughthimmanythings,amongthemhowtodeliverbabiesandhowtoserveasadentistwhenHopiteethneededpulling.

WhenQoyawaymaservedasdentist,heusedapairofforcepsgiventohimbyVoth.Whenheassistedatthebirthofbabies,hecombinedthewhiteman'stechniquewiththeHopiway,passingtheHopigrassbrushthewu-u-siacrossthelaboringwoman'sbuttockstobrushawayevilforcesthatmightbedelayingherdelivery.

Vothhadtaughthimtodosimplecarpentering,andinspiteofhisignoranceofarithmeticheusedhissmallhandsasmeasuringinstrumentsandwasremarkablyaccurate.

WhentheIndianServicesentHealthNurseAbbotttotheHopireservationtodowhatshecouldaboutteachingthevillagerssanitation,FredQoyawaymawasaskedtoassisther,notasinterpreter,forshespokeHopifluently,butashandyman.

MissAbbottwasadynamo.Shesweptthroughthevillagesorderingthepilingandburningofoldgoatandsheepskins,seeingtoitthattincansweregatheredanddumpedoverthecliffs,urgingthewomentodevelopprideenoughtodoawaywithotherrefuseandsweeptheirhomesandthevillagestreets.Atherurging,theyalsofreshenedtheirhousewallswithplaster.FredQoyawaymahadtosteplivelytokeep

upwithher.

Foralongtimeaftershefinishedhertask,theresultsofthecampaignwerenoticeable,especiallyatBakabi,thenewvillage

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whichwasthelasttoresultfromtheOraibisplit.Forseveralyearsitwascitedasamodelofcleanliness.

ItwasVoth,also,whorecommendedthatQoyawaymahelpbuildtheFredHarveyHopiHouseontheedgeofGrandCanyon.Later,whenHarveyneededaresponsibleHopifamilyascaretakersatHopiHouse,VothsuggestedtheQoyawaymas.

ThistimeSevenkaobjected.ToliveawayfromtheHopivillages,bereftofthedailycompanionshipofherfriends,unabletotakepartinMazhraudancesandwitnesstheKachinaceremonies?Unthinkable!

"Besides,"thesturdyHopiwomanargued,"thereisnomedicinemanatGrandCanyon.Supposemychildrengetsick.Doyounotremember,"sheaskedherhusband,"whentheyhadtheredsicknesswhichclaimedthelifeofPolingaysi'snextyoungersister?DoyourememberhowPolingaysialsonearlydied,andhowshelayfordaysinthemedicineman'sarms,pantinglikealittlekangaroomouseapehuandmoredeadthanalive?Itwasthemedicinemanwhosavedherlife.''

Herhusbandlistened.Heremembered.Itwaspossible,heagreed,thattheywouldbelonely,withdrawnfromthelifetheyhadalwaysknown.Theydidnotgo.

DuringthelastweeksofhisillnessPolingaysi'sfatheroftenspokeabruptly,outofhissilentrememberings.Oneday,chuckling,hesaid,"Bahan-ko-wa-ko-hoyal"

Halffondly,halfderisively,theHopipeoplehadcalledhimbythatnickname.Bahan-ko-wa-ko-hoyalittlewhitemanrooster.Hehadnodoubtjumpedaroundveryofficiouslyattimes,whencarryingouttheordersofVothandotherwhitemen.

AnothertimePolingaysiheardhimcarryingonaconversation,apparentlywithavisitor.Wonderingwhoitwasandhowanyonecouldhaveenteredthehouseunknowntoher,shewenttothesickman'sbedroom.Hewasalone.

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''Justkeeponcryingatmelikethat,"hewastellingtheunseenvisitorfirmly."You'renotscaringme.Goaway!Don'tbotherme!No!No,I'mnotgoingwithyou.YousayI'llbecrying?Well,we'llsee."

"Whoisityoutalkto,father?"Polingaysiasked.

Thedyingmanturnedhisthinfacetowardher.

"Masau-u,"hemurmured."Didn'tyouhearhim?Hewascryingatme.'Whoo-o-o...whoo-o-o,'hewassayingtome.He'sgonenow.Itoldhimnottobotherme."

Masau-u!GodofDeathandDestruction.LegendaryownerofOraibi!Inspiteofherreligiousknowledge,Polingaysifeltgoosepimplesrisingonherarms.

"Lord,givemestrength,"sheprayed,closinghereyesforamoment.Buttheeeriecallstillranginherears.

Whenherfatherwasgone,Polingaysirealizedhowlittlesheknewabouthimandhisinneridealsandbeliefs.Ifshecouldonlyaskhimsomeofthethingssheshouldhaveaskedlongbefore.Butnowitwastoolate.Shewasalongtimeinrecoveringfromtheshockofhisdeath,andbythattimeSevenka,herhardworking,conservativeHopimother,wasailing.In1951shetoostartedonherjourneytoSoul'sRestingPlace.

Thecottonwoodinthehouseyardwasshowingitsagenow.Ithadlostmanylimbs,wrenchedoffbythefiercedesertgales.Itsbarkwasthickandrough,yetitputforthitsshiningleaveseachspringunfailingly.

Despiteherblackhairandunwrinkledbrownskin,Polingaysialsowasaging.Shebegantothinkofretiring.Thethoughtofrelinquishingthemonthlysalarycheckwhichhadmadepossibletheconstructionofherbighouse,andfinancialaidtobrothers,nieces,andnephewswho

wishedtogoontocollegefromthelocalschools,wasabitfrightening,butshewastired.Tiredofteaching.Shehadbeenintheclassroomformorethanaquarter

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ofacentury.Shewasteachingchildrenofherformerpupils.Shecontinued,however,until1954.Thenshegavenotice.

WhentheHopimotherslearnedofherdecisionmanyofthemtriedtodissuadeher.

"Pleaseteachjustonemoreyear,"theybegged."Iwantyoutogivemybeginnerastart."

Whenshefinishedherworkintheclassroomthatyearsheexpectednothing,butherretirementprovedtobetheoccasionforawell-attendedceremonyduringwhichshewaspresentedwithabronzemedalofcommendationandanhonorawardfromtheU.S.DepartmentoftheInterior.

"ElizabethQ.White,"itstated,"isherebyawardedthiscertificateofhonorforcommendableservice."ItwasdatedJune30,1954,andwassignedbyGlennL.Emmons,Commissioner,BureauofIndianAffairs.Aftertheexciting,emotionalclimaxtohermorethanthirty-oneyearsofteachingintheIndianService,shewasfreetobeginanewlife.

Howoftenshehadsighedforfreedom.Shehadafeelingforclay.WhenshetookclayintoherhandsshehadtheimpulseoftheHopiwomantoshapeitintoarticlesofuseandbeauty.Bowls,lovelyjars,round-belliedwigoros,orwaterjugs,suchastheOldOnescarriedontheirbacks.Shecouldfeelthewillingnessoftheclaytofollowthedirectionofhersmall,short-fingeredhands.Itchallengedhertodosomethingwithit.

Andtherewasmusic.Foryearsshehadfeltthatsheshoulddosomethingwithhermusicaltrainingwhenshehadthetime.Andsurely,withallherfirsthandinformation,sheshouldbeabletowriteaboutherpeople.

Nowshewouldhavethetime.Allthetimetherewas.Yetshefeltasthoughshehadbeenplungedintoavacuum.Shewaslost,notknowingwheretobegin.Hadshecometotheendofhertrail?Sheconsideredleavingthereservationandattemptingtomakeafutureforherselfamongwhitepeople,butinthedepths

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ofherbeingshefeltthepullofthemesasandthewind-harrieddesert.ShelovedthebighouseshehadbuiltatNewOraibi,thevillageontheslopebelowtheruinsofthepueblovillagewhereshewasborn.Shefeltaresponsibilitytothemanyfriendswriters,artists,scientists,andotherIndian-consciouspeoplewhocameeachsummertospendafewdaysorafewweeksinHopiland.Theywerehercontactwiththeworldofthewhitemanandsheenjoyedthemastheyenjoyedher.

Withtheproblemofwhattodowithherlife,shehadcomebacktotheoncegreatprimitivecityofOraibi.Backtoitscrumblingbuildingsandemptystreets.Shehadcomeaskingherselfaquestion,andshehadfoundtheanswer.

Theclayshelongedtoworkwaswaitingforherinitsancientbeds,tonsontonsofit,readytobetransformedbyherlovingfingers;theoldsongswerestillonthelipsofheroldpeople,waitingforhertocapturetheminnotesonwhitepaper;therewasmaterialenoughabouttheHopitokeepherbusyfortherestofherlifetime,shouldshechosetowriteit,andtherewastheoldhouse,itswingsspreadlikeadeserthentoshelterthosewhocameseekingknowledgeofherpeople.

Indianswerenottheonlyoneswhohadbridgestocross.TherewerewhitepeoplewhoweretryingtobridgethegapbetweentheirowncultureandthatoftheirIndianbrothers.Shecouldhelpthem.Whatbetterwaytobringaboutunderstandingbetweenpeoplesthantoserveasalinkbetweenthem?

Theoldchiefsawhercomingbacktohercar,walkingrapidlynow.Hewaitedforher.

"Haveyoufoundthatforwhichyouwereseeking?"heaskedcompassionately,hisgazeleavingherfaceforaninstanttorestonthe

silver-framedbronzemedalthathungfromasilverchainaboutherneck.

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Polingaysismiled.

"Oh-ee,"shesaid."Yes."

Itwastrue.Shehadfoundwhatshesought,theanswertoheragonizedquestioning.Sheknew,finally,whereshebelonged.Shehaddiscoveredthatshewasafreesoul,notconfinedtooneplace,butfreetogowherevershewishedtogo,aslongasshewentasanemissaryofgoodwill,freetoacceptthechallengesoflife,whatevertheymightbe.

Yes,shehadfoundheranswer,andforthefirsttimesinceshewasasmallchild,shewasatpeacewithherself.

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Epilogue"Wedonotwalkalone.GreatBeingwalksbesideus.Knowthisandbegrateful."

ManytimesPolingaysihadheardhermothersaythosewords,yetduringherowntimeofstressshehadoftenforgottentoacknowledgespiritualassistanceandthePresence.Instead,shehadelectedtogothelonelyway,tryingtoaccomplishthroughsheerdeterminationtheimprovementsineducationalmethodswhichshethoughtnecessary.

Attimesshehadfeltshewastheonlyfrustratedteacherandthatheryearsofstruggle,herclasheswithwhiteeducatorsindefenseofherideaofeducatingIndianchildrenfromtheknowntotheunknown,hereffortstoprovethattheclearlightofpracticalitywassuperiortothefogoftheory,hadbeenfutile.Butsoonafterherretirementotherteachers,asfrustratedasshehadbeen,begancomingtoher.

Oneman,emotionallyshakenbyhisproblem,hadnomorethanclosedthedoorbehindhimbeforehestartedtotellherhistroubles."Mrs.White,you'vebeenthroughthis.Youshouldknowsomeoftheangles.WhatamItodo?MysupervisorsaysImuststopteachingmypupilsscienceandhighermathematics,becausethosesubjectsaretoodifficultforthemandcannotbegraspedbytheIndianmind.But,Itellyou!There'snothingwrongwiththemindsofmypupils.Someofthemareexcep-

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tionallybrilliant.They'llgofarintheworldiftheyarewelltrained.I'vealreadybroughtthemtoarealizationofthevalueoflearningandthey'reeagertoforgeahead.They'remakinggoodgradesinfirst-yearalgebra.Doesthatlookasthoughtheirbrainswereinferior?"

"Ofcoursenot!"Polingaysisaidindignantly,lookingattheteacherwithnewinterest,nowthathehadexposedhimselfasakindredsoul."Don'tyoubediscouraged.Goongivingthemallthey'llabsorb.Ifacedoppositionforyears,andIlivedthroughit.You'llbegladyouhelpedthem.Inspiteofeverything,itwillworkoutwell."

Anditdid.Severalofthechildrenwhohadstudiedunderthatdedicatedman'sinstructionwentontocollege.

ThoughPolingaysinolongerstoodintheclassroomandhadnodesiretoreturntoteaching,herworkfortheeducationofherpeoplewasbynomeansover.Educatorscametoher,askinginallsincerityforherideas.

TheydiscussedtheirproblemsineducatingIndianchildrenandaskedwhat,inPolingaysi'sopinion,waswrongwiththeirmethods.Theytoldoftheirinabilitytoreachthechildrenandarousethesparkofinterest.

Daredshespeakup?She,whohadbeenoneofthoselittlewildthingsofthemesa,withnobackgroundexceptthatofthesmallrockhouseintheisolatedvillageofOldOraibi?Daredshestandupandspeakhermind,bareherheart,totheauthorities?Wouldtheylisten,sensingthatherwordsweretheresultoflong,bitter,soul-searchingthought?Wouldtheyopentheirmindsenoughtoaccept,oratleasttoconsiderthoughtfully,whatshehadtosayaboutunfortunatereactionstothewhiteman'smethodswithIndianchildren?

Ofcourseshewouldspeakup.Theyhadasked,hadn'tthey?

Thewhitemankilledthebuffalo,shetoldthem,becausethebuffalopresentedaproblem.Indianchildrenareaproblemtoo,

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butcan'tbesoperemptorilydisposedof.Theyshouldberegardedasvaluableassetstothenationandtotheworld,forthatiswhattheycanbe,oncetheirtalentsandspecialabilitiesarerecognizedandencouraged.

Butdon'taskthemtopeelofftheirbrownskinsandbecomewhitemen.Peelthoughtheymight,there'dalwaysbeanotherlayerofbrownunderneath.No.Rather,askthemtobethemselves,helpthemtorealizethevalueoftheirownheritage.ToomuchtimehasbeenspentintryingtoteachthemtocastasidetheIndianinthem,whichisequivalenttoaskingthemtoceasebeing.AnIndiancannomorebeawhitemanthanawhitemancanbeanIndian.Andwhytry?ThereisinfinitegoodintheIndianculturepattern.Let'slookatthisthingobjectively,understandingeachotherwithcharity;notdisparagingthedifferencesbetweenus,butbeinggratefullyawareofthegoodqualitieswemayadopt,onefromtheother.

Thechangeineducationalmethodsthroughtheyearshadbeentremendous,Polingaysireflected,thinkingbacktoherfirstschooldays:thesaucerofsyrupandthehardtack,thetickingdress,thestupid,brutalwhippingsandhumiliations.Sheandhercompanionshadbeentreatedlikelittledumbanimalsbecausetheydidnotspeakthelanguageoftheschoolauthorities.Now,soitseemedtoher,thependulumhadswungtoofartotheotherextreme.TheIndianchildwasbeingcoddled,overfed,overdressed,carriedonacradleboard,asitwere,andnotallowedtodevelopstrengthbystandingonhisowntwofeet.

"Always,"shesighed,"thewhitemanaskstoomuchinthewrongway.WheneducationispresentedtotheIndianchildintherightmanner,hewillabsorbitasreadilyasdoesanywhitechild.Educatethemfromwhattheyalreadyknow,notfromatotallynew,strangefieldofexperience.Facedwithproblemscompletelyforeignand

beyondhisscope,itismostcertainthattheaverageIndianchildwillwithdrawintohisshell.Notknowing

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howtogetpastthecloseddoorsofideashecannotunderstand,yettooproudtoopenlylosefacebyadmittinghislackofunderstanding,hemayseemtohisteacherquiteimpervioustolearning.

"Leadthem,guidethem,butdon'ttrytowhipthemintoeducation,anddon'tmakethemistakeofthinkingeducationcanbesuperimposeduponthem,likeplasteronawall.Thequickandlastinglearningcomesfromanunderstandingbetweenteacherandchild."

Shehadnotseenthesetruthsimmediatelyuponenteringherfirstclassroom.Shehadflounderedthroughseveralmiserableschooltermsbeforeshegainedconfidenceinherselfandherchosen,slowlyworkedoutmethodofteachingandreachingherpupils.EventheIndianparentshadobjectedtoherteachingofHopiwaysasanapproachtothewhiteman'sway.Theyhadnot,intheirconfusion,rememberedthatfieldsmustbepreparedforplanting.

Halfacenturyago,Hopipeoplehadopposededucationviolently;nowtheybecameawareofitsmanyadvantages.Wheretheyhadonceaccepteditrebelliously,theynowsoughtitfortheirchildren.

"Tellushowwecanhelpourchildrengetacollegeeducation,"theybegged."Yougavethemagoodstart.Wewantthemtobeabletogoon,andtheywanttogo.Theywanttodosomethingwiththeirlives,asyoudid."

WorldWarIIhadagreatdealtodowiththischangeofattitude.Hopiyoungmenhadgoneintotheservicepoorlyeducated,usedtothepaternalismofthegovernment,shelteredblindlyfromtheoutsideworld.Theawakeningtotheirplaceinlifewasinmanycasesarudeone,buttheywereintelligent,ifuneducated,andtheysawhowmuchtheyhadmissedbyneglectingtoapplythemselvesintheschoolroom.Theywrotelettershomerevealingtheirdistressandacknowledgingitscause.

"Tellmybrotherstogetalltheeducationtheycan,"theytold

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theirparents."Tellthemtobesuretofinishhighschoolandifpossibletogoontocollege.IfIhadittodooveragain,I'dgetalltheeducationIcould.Believeme,youneededucationtogetalonginthisman'sworld."

TheplightoftheyoungpeopleweighedonPolingaysi'smind.Sometimestheheavinesswassogreatthatshewasremindedofhermotherwho,afteratimeofworrying,saidthatshefeltasthoughshehadstonesinherstomach.

Noonelikestobecriticized,sheadmitted,butcriticismcanbesomethinglikethedesertwindthat,inwhippingthetendercornstalks,forcesthemtostriketheirrootsdowndeeperforsecurity.Shehadbeencriticizedbybothherownpeopleandthewhitepeople,inmanycasesseverely.Butperhapsthecriticismhadforcedhertoseekanchoragewhichnowgaveherthestrengthandthepurposetoattemptonemoreadvancementforherpeople.Butitwouldtaketime.

Time.ForcenturiestimehadbeenofnoimportancetotheIndian.Thesunrose,thesunset.TheIndianworkedorhunted,dancedorplayed,whiletherewaslight;whendarknesscame,heslept.NoclockshadtickedintherockhomesofPolingaysi'sancientpeople.Theylackedthewhiteman'sconceptionoftime.Therewerechangesofthemoon,changesoftheseasons;butnoonecountedthehours.NowtheHopimustlearntorespectthebusyclockandbecontrolledbythecircuitinghands.Nottoconformwastobethrownoffbalance.Theolddaysweregoneforever.Onemustfacethenew.

LikemostIndianssomethingofavisionary,PolingaysidreamedofhighereducationalopportunitiesforIndianyouth.NolongeristheHopiisolated.Black-toppedhighwaysthreadthereservationsoftheWest.Theworldfindsiteasynowtoreachthemesasandthedesertlands,andtheIndianscannolongerignoretheworld.Theyareofitandmustcomeintoharmonywithit,thesoonerthebetter.Thereisno

otherwaythantogoforward.Edu-

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cationisnecessaryforthelivingofafulllifeinthisera,andspecializationrequirestraining.

SoPolingaysimused,andfromthisbasisbeganturninginhermindthethoughtofsettingupsomesortofascholarshipfundforworthyhighschoolgraduates.IfIndian-consciousfriendscouldbepersuadedtocontributeevensmallsumsperyear,shereasoned,andifafewboysandgirlswouldtakeadvantageofanopportunitytoreceivehigherlearning,theworldwouldsoonbeforcedtorecognizetheworthinessoftheproject.

Herownslenderfundscouldnotbestretchedtocoversuchanambitiousproject.Sheknewofnoonewhocouldorwouldfinanceit,butonceitgotgoingshewassurehelpwouldcome.Shewouldplanttheidea;itwouldgrow.

Twotalentedwriters,ahusband-wifeteam,visitedPolingaysionesummeratherbighome.Theconversationturnedtoeducation,andbeforesheknewitPolingaysiwasenthusiasticallyoutliningherproposedproject.Shetalkedsowellthatshefiredtheimaginationofherguests.Theyvolunteeredtostartthefundwithaliberaldonation,farbeyondanythingPolingaysihadhopedfor.

Movedtogratefultears,shetoldthemhowdelightedshewas.Atleastonechildcouldentercollegeatonce,andtherewasaworthygirlwaiting.Shewastheeldestofalargefamilyandherfatherearnedonlyamodestsalary.Shewaswillingtoworkforpartofhernecessities,butwouldneedhelptofinancethebalance.Whenshelearnedthatthewayhadbeenopenedforher,shewasovercomeasPolingaysihadbeen.

ThustheprojectwasstartedandPolingaysibeganlookingaroundforotheryoungpeoplewhowerelongingtogoonbutcouldnotfinancetheireducation.Shefoundthem.Oneboywantedtobealaboratory

technician.Hehadalreadyspentoneyearatpre-medicalschool,butnowneededhelp.However,bythetimeheapplied,thefundwasexhausted.

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''But,tellhimnottogiveup,''Polingaysiassuredhisworriedmother."Therewillbemore.Iknowit."

Whilehewaswaiting,hewenttoanearbyhospitalandofferedhisservicesfreeofchargeinreturnforthecovetedexperiencehewouldgain.Hewasacceptedandbecameavaluableassistantsovaluablethatthehospitalheadssawtoitthathereceivedpayforhiswork.Thenhewasabletoreturntohisstudies,moreconvincedthaneverthathehadfoundhislifeworkandthatmoneywouldbeforthcomingasherequiredit.

Monthspassed,andtherewasstillnomoneyinthefund,inspiteofPolingaysi'sfaith.Thefirstdonorshadpledgedmore,however,anditwouldcomeinduetime.MeanwhilethefounderwenttoaHopifriend,anintelligent,energetic,andhandsomewomanaboutherownage.

"It'stimeweHopipeoplebeganstandingonourownfeet,"shesaid."It'sgoodtogethelp,butnotifwehangbackandrefusetohelpourselves.Whyshouldwhitepeoplefinancethismovemententirely,whenitisforthegoodofouryouth?Ifwewantsomethingdone,let'sdoitourselves.It'sourproblem.Let'staketheinitiativeinsolvingit."

Herfriendwholeheartedlyagreed.Shewasasplendidorganizer.Shecalledherfriendstogether,outlinedplansforafoodandgiftsale,andhadthemallworkingtogetherimmediately.Theeventwasasocialandfinancialsuccess.Moneywasinthefundoncemore,butitwasbarelyenoughtomeetimmediatedemandsonit.

ThewordwasgettingaroundthatthreeHopiyoungpeoplewereattendingcollege,financedbythescholarshipfund.Applicationsforassistancebegancomingin.Thefollowingexcerptfromoneapplicant'sletterisanexampleofthequalityoftheapplicants:

"Needlesstosay,"theyoungwomanwrote,"Ihopetoworkwithmy

people.TheprocessofacculturationisalongoneandIwouldliketohelpthemalongtheway.Ifeelthatasateacherof

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veryyoungpeople,Iwouldbedoingajobthatwouldbeveryimportanttotheselittlepeoplelateronintheirlives.Iwouldbeapartoftheconstructivegroupthatwillhelpmoldtheirmindstogoodsoundthinking."

ThosewordsstruckachordinPolingaysi'sconsciousness.Theywerealmostlikeanechofromherownthoughts.Theapplicant,throughsecretarialworkforananthropologist,haddecidedherlife'scourse.To"helpthelittlepeople"toabetterandlesspainfultransitionintotheworldofthewhitemanwhatcouldbemoredesirable?Thegirlmustbehelped.

"Aren'tyouexpectingaltogethertoomuchofyourIndianpeople?"oneofherwhitefriendsaskedPolingaysi,afterhearingabouthersuccessfuleffortstostartthescholarshipfund.

Polingaysiflaredbackather.

"Absolutelynot!No!I'mnotexpectinganythingunusualfrommypeople?ItisinHopicultureteachingsthatwemustprepareourselvesforlife.'Getup!Youmustliveyourlifefrombeginningtoend.Nooneelsecandoitforyou.'Thatiswhattheoldpeopletelltheyoungsters.Thefactthatwenowfaceanewwayoflifedoesnotchangetheimportanceoftheteaching.Noonecandoitforyou.Coddlingdoesn'thelp,buteverydeservingyoungpersonshouldhaveachancetoprovehimself.

"Itelltheyoungpeoplethis:'Yourfoundationisinyourparentsandyourhome,aswellasinyourHopiculturepattern.Evaluatethebestthereisinyourowncultureandhangontoit,foritwillalwaysbeforemostinyourlife;butdonotfailtotakealsothebestfromotherculturestoblendwithwhatyoualreadyhave.Wearenotaboastfulpeople,sodonotallowyoureducationaladvantagestomakeyoufeel

contemptfortheolderonesofnoeducationwhohavemadeyourprogresspossible.Givethemcreditforthegoodthereisinthemandforthelovetheyhaveintheirheartsforyou.Don'tboast,butontheotherhand,don'tsetlimitationsonyour-

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self.Ifyouwantmoreandstillmoreeducation,reachoutforitwithoutfear.Youhaveinyouthequalitiesofpersistenceandendurance.Usethem."

Thehighway,whichtheHopisatonetimefeared,willserveadoublepurpose.Itwillbringthewhiteworldcloser,andgraduallytheHopisandtheirwhiteneighborswilllearntounderstandeachother.WithunderstandingwillcomefurthersimplificationoftheproblemofteachingHopichildren.

Teacherswhoknowhowtheparentsandgrandparentsoftheirpupilsliveandthinkwillunderstandtheirpupilsbetterandbeabletoworkefficientlywiththem.

ThatisPolingaysi'sbelief.Lookingbackintoherownconfusedchildhoodandyouth,shecannowfeelthateverythingshesufferedwasforthepurposeofleadinghertotheundertakingofthisplanforeducatingtheyoungpeoplefromthenolongerisolatedmesavillages.

Therapiditywithwhichthemovementblossomed,oncegivenastart,stillmakesitseematrifleunrealtoher,butagreatsatisfactionliesinthefactthatthroughthecooperationofcollegeauthoritiesandwhitefriendstheworldover,andtheloyaleffortsofherownpeople,doorsofhighereducationhavebeenopenedtoHopiyoungpeople,andwillcontinuetoopentothemforyearstocome.

ItisonlyfittingthatPolingaysi,childofthemesas,shouldhavebeentheonetostartit.