©SimonParke,2011

Themoralrightsoftheauthorhavebeenasserted.

Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthisbookmaybereproducedbyanymechanical,photographicorelectronicprocess,orintheformofaphonographicrecording;normayitbestoredinaretrievalsystem,transmittedorotherwisebecopiedforpublicorprivateuse,otherthanfor‘fairuse’asbriefquotationsembodiedin

articlesandreviews,withoutpriorwrittenpermissionofthepublisher.

Theauthorofthisbookdoesnotdispensemedicaladviceorprescribetheuseofanytechniqueasaformoftreatmentforphysicalormedicalproblemswithouttheadviceofaphysician,eitherdirectlyorindirectly.Theintentoftheauthoris

onlytoofferinformationofageneralnaturetohelpyouinyourquestforemotionalandspiritualwellbeing.Intheeventyouuseanyoftheinformationinthisbookforyourself,whichisyourconstitutionalright,theauthorandthe

publisherassumenoresponsibilityforyouractions.

AcataloguerecordforthisbookisavailablefromtheBritishLibrary.

ISBN978-1-84850-471-4inEpubformatISBN978-1-84850-470-7inMobipocketformat

CONTENTS

Introduction

1BecomingSimple

2BecomingAware

3BecomingPresent

4BecomingTrust

5BecomingImpermanent

6BecomingNothing

7BecomingOne

8BecomingBehaviour

AbouttheAuthor

HayHouseTitlesofRelatedInterest

JointheHayHouseFamily

INTRODUCTION

Everyoneistalkingaboutmindfulnessthesedays,inamannerI’dneverhavepredictedwhenthefirsteditionofthisbookwaspublished.

I’mnowaskedtotakemindfulnessintobusinessesandschools;thereareevenbigarticlesaboutitinTheFinancialTimes.

Timeshavechanged.

Somaybeit’sagoodmomenttogobacktobasicsandremindourselvesoftheessenceofthispractice,whichisatriangle(thestrongeststructure)ofinnerstates,eachsupportingtheother.

Mindfulnessisawarenessofyourpresentexperiencewithacceptance.

Hereisitsheartbeat,andinthepagesthatfollowwe’llbelookingafterthisheart.

We’llponderthethreepointsofthetriangle:

1. Awarenessofyourselfandtheworld2. Livinginthepresentand3. Acceptanceofyoursituation(whichstrangelyisthecatalystforgood

change.)

Inotherwords,howtoliveinthemoment.

Mindfulnessissimple,aseasilygraspedbychildrenasadults;butsimplecanbehardfordistractedminds.Sobekindtoyourselfalongtheway.

Thisisnomindfulnesstextbook;thosealreadyexist,andwonderfully.

Instead,Ioffermindfulstoriesandthoughtsforwhenyousensetheneedforpsychologicaloremotionalshiftinyourlife.Readthemonce,andthenreadagain...allowthemtosoakintoyourconsciousness.

Wedonothavetobeanxious,fearfulordepressed;andthestartofourhealing

Wedonothavetobeanxious,fearfulordepressed;andthestartofourhealingmightbetonoticethatweare.

Sowelcometothesepages.Thejourneyhometomindfulliving–awareandpresent–startswhenyouwantitto.

1

BECOMINGSIMPLE

Waystobesimplewhenourtendencyistobesimplistic.Thetwoarenotthesame.

InSearchoftheUnborn

Perhapsitisastrangeplacetostart,butlettherebesomethingoftheunborninustoday;forthere,inthatfragility,isouressence–eternalandundying.Trappedmomentarilyintime,wecanlosetouchwithouressenceandbecome

childrenofmultiplicityanddistraction.Weobsessoverscrapsofknowledge;weseekmasteryofmanythingsandworshipbrokenimagesoftruth.Unborn,wewerenotsodistractedbutsimpleandwithoutboundaries.So,today,wetakeintoourbornlivessomethingoftheunborn.Intoour

multiplicity,wetakesimplicity;andintotheworldofcompetitiveknowledge,wetakepovertyofknowing.

Todaywetakethedeepunknowingoftheunborn.

PresentState

Perhapsthemostbasicteachingofthewisdomschoolisthatourexperienceoftruthisdependentonourstateratherthanourstudies.Inthedawningoflightinourlives,therecanbenocheatingorshortcuts.

Eighthoursadayspentcrammingmindfulnesstechniquesinalibrarywon’tadvanceusaninch,forthatisallaboutimpatienceandallaboutrush;and,asPhilipBoothremindsusinhispoem‘HeadingOut’,‘Howyougetthereiswhereyou’llarrive.’Ifrushandimpatienceisyourmannerofspiritualtravel,don’texpecttoarrive

anywherebeautiful.Instead,wearemindfulofourstate,forthisalonedeterminesourcapacityto

receive.‘Asourlevelofbeingincreases,’wroteMauriceNicoll,aBritishpsychiatristandteacheroftheFourthWay,‘receptivitytohighermeaningincreases.Asourbeingdecreases,theoldmeaningsreturn.’

Asyoulistentoyourbreathingnow,allowyourpresentstatetobecomeapparent.

ThreetoNotice

Buddhasawthreeattitudesasparticularlyunhelpfulformindfulliving.Thefirstisgreed,definedasagrabbyreachingoutforsomethingoraclinging

ontoit.It’sacraving,anattachmenttothedesiredthing.Anditsoppositeisgenerosityorrenunciation.Thesecondishatred,definedasill-will,judgmentalthoughtsoraversionto

another.Itisapushingawayofsomethingdeemedundesirable;oranattackonit.Andtheoppositeofhatredishumanfriendlinessorthespaciousabsenceof

hate.Thethirdunhelpfulattitudeisdelusion,whichisthenarrowknowingof

ignoranceorapuffed-upbeliefinourownknowledge;abeliefthatweseethewholepicture,whenintruthweglimpseonlycertainaspectsofreality.Andtheoppositeofdelusioniswisdom,whichknowshowlittlecanbe

known.

Wejoyfullynotetheseattitudesastheyariseinustoday.

TheSensibleDog

Ioncesawadogjumpoffahighcliff;itwasrunningoneminute,gonethenextanditwasveryshocking.Itwasagreyhound,recentlyretired,andwasbeingtakenforawalkbyits

newowners.Unfortunately,whatwasobvioustothemwasnotobvioustotheirpet.Previously,thedoghadknownonlythesafeworldofcagesandracetracks;consequently,itknewverylittleaboutfreedomandnothingaboutcliffs.

Even,presumingthedogunderstoodEnglish,weresomeonetohavesaid,‘Don’tjumpoffthecliff,you’llfall,’itwouldhavebeennonsensicaltothedog.Giventhedog’spreviousexperienceoflife,andtheunderstandingcreatedbythisexperience,theideaof‘falling’wouldhavehadnomeaning.Withthismindset,jumpingoffthecliffwasentirelysensible,eventhoughitwasn’t.Remarkably,thisstoryhadahappyending:thedogsurvived.Butatruth

aboutcanineandhumanjudgementsstillhungintheair…

Whenapropositionsoundsstupid,itmaybethatwearemorestupidthantheproposition.

BaseCampforMindfulness

JustastherearemanywaystoapproachthesummitofMountEverest,therearemanywaystoapproachthetruthsofmindfulness.Butifweweretomakeabasecampfromwhichtoexplore,Iwouldchoose

thisone:‘Mindfulnessisawarenessofpresentexperiencewithacceptanceandtrust.’

Stayingtruetothissimpledefinitionofmindfulness,allowsustoexplorethevastandwonderfulmountainthatisourpresentexperience.Fornow,wenoteonlythatmindfulnessisnotconcernedwithstalethings,

pasthappeningsoroldperceptionsinwhichmanyaretrapped.Rather,itisaninvitationtofreshexperienceandvirginknowing,inwhich

presentthoughtsandemotionsareallowedtospeakwithoutjudgementorrejection.Thiselementofacceptancehelpsourwellbeing.Ourpsychelongstobe

healed;andwhenitrealizesthatnothingitrevealswillcausedistress,ittendstorevealall.

Achildhassomuchtruthtotellwhentheyfeelnofear.

WhattoDoaboutArchitecturalDisasters

I’vedecidedtodismantlemyhouse.Ithasn’tbeenaneasydecision,becauseI’vebeenherealongtimeandhomeishome,butI’vebecomeincreasinglyawareofitsshortcomingsandwhenIdiscoveredwhobuiltit,everythingwasexplained.MyhousewasbuiltbyapartnershipcalledDesireandIgnorance;theyoften

worktogether,andalwayswithdisastrousconsequences.It’ssurprisingtheyaren’tmoretalkedofinthepress.Theyaregreatsurvivorsbutincompetentbuilders.Desireisfamousonlyfor

pursuingpleasureandavoidingpain,whileIgnorancecastsaveiloverallhisunexaminedassumptionsandmakeswrongoneseveryhour.Together,theycreatedthepsychologicalrealitywhereIlive.Hardlyasurprise,therefore,ifit’sunfitforpurpose!

Allisnotlost,however,becauseI’mnotcompelledtolivehere.I’vebeenherealongtimebutI’mnotaprisoner.Icanremovethevariouslayersofbrick,woodandplasterboardandcreateanewspace.Itmaybehardwork,butworthit.Infact,havingtoldyouofmyintentions,I

feelbetteralready.

Mindfulnesssometimestalksaboutundoingourselves.

IsThisanAlien?

Openinguptheshopinthemorningandturningthekey,IamawarethatIamopeninguptheshopinthemorningandturningthekey.

Lookingatthecloudsintheirshiftingpatterns,IamawarethatIamlookingatthecloudsintheirshiftingpatterns.

Becomingirritatedbythetrafficjamandapproachingtheendofmytether,IamawarethatI’mbecomingirritatedbythetrafficjamandapproachingtheendofmytether.

Thisismindfulness;andit’snotcomplexoralientous.

ChangingState

Mindfulmeditationhasadistinctivefeature:ithaslittleornointerestinourthinking.So,aswesettlewithourbreathingtoday,ourdesireisnottothinkmorebutto

thinkless.Indeed,wewillwatchourthoughtspassingthrough,aswemightwatchdrunkspassinginthenight.Asyouallowyourselftofallinwithyourbreathing,youfindyourself,

perhaps,thinkingcriticallyaboutacolleague;orplanningacharityrun;ordwellingonanincidentthathappenedyesterday;orwonderingifyou’llloseyourjobtomorrow.Whateverthoughtspassthroughyourmind–whethernobleorbase,flittingor

devastating–don’taccordthemspecialstatusorofferanyred-carpettreatment.Instead,simplynotetheircomingandnotetheirgoing,justasyoumightnote

aflyonthewallorthedistantsoundofapassingcar.

Itisthestartofdiscoveringthatweareneitherourthoughtsnorourmemories,somethingourbreathingknewlongago.

OneThing

Today,concentrateononethingthatyoumightnotusuallyconcentrateon.Doitorlookatitortouchitortasteitforitsownsake.

Perhapsyoucoulddrinkacupofcoffeeforitsownsake,withoutdoinganythingelseatthesametime.It’sjustaboutthedrinkingandthecoffee.

Perhaps,forfiveminutes,youcouldsitonthetrainforitsownsake,withoutdoinganythingelseatthesametime.It’sjustaboutthesittingandthetrain.

Perhapsyoucouldwalkmindfullyforaminuteforitsownsake,withoutconcerningyourselfwithanythingbutthemiracleofmovement.It’sjustaboutthewalking.

Throughsuchconcentration,yougatheryourfragmentedself;andbytouchingonethingmoredeeply,momentarily,youtouchlifemoredeeply.

SameSeed,DifferentSoil

Jesustoldastoryofthefoursoils.Thesowersowstheseed,castingitwithvigourfromhisbag,butitfalls

variously.Someseedfallsonthehardpathandisimmediatelyeatenbythebirds.Somefallsonrockygroundandbeginstogrowbut,withoutsufficientmoisture,soonwithers.Somefallsamongweedsand,onreachingacertainheight,findsitselfstrangledbythem.Someseed,however,fallsongoodsoilandgrowswonderfully.

It’sastoryaboutourabilitytoreceivetruth.Theseedthrowninthegoodsoilwasexactlythesameasthatthrownontothepath.Yetonlyonebatchwasabletogrow.Moreimportantthantheguruisourinnerstate.Ifwearegoodsoil,wecan

fruitfullyreceivefromanything.Ifwearepoorsoil,evenwhatisgoodwillberejected.

Tochangethings,itissometimesenoughtosay:‘I’mpoorsoiltoday.’

OnTakingVariousPaths

Ifyoutakepartinapilgrimage,thenyoufollowasingleway.Pilgrimsmayhavetheirownmannerofwalkingbutthepathisasingleway.Pilgrimswhoconstantlyseekotherpathsrevealtheirlackoffocusanda

desireforescapethroughdistraction.‘Ihaven’ttriedtheotherpathsyet,’theysay.‘Theycouldbemore

interesting.’Sotodaytheyleaveyoutotestoutonepath;andtomorrowtheywilltest

another.‘Haveyoutriedthisone?’theyask,alreadyeyeinganotherone.‘Theoptionsareendless!’Theyprefertotravelahundredpathssuperficiallythanonepathseriously.

Mindfulnessisasingleway,relatingyoualwaystothepresentmoment;though,astothemannerofthewalk,noonewilltravelthepathquitelikeyou.

TheDogintheWood

Perhapsyou’veheardthisstory...orperhapsexperienceditinanotherguise.Themaniswalkinginthewoodwhenhecomesacrossasmalldog.Heisfondofdogsandapproachesittostrokeit.Suddenly,thedogisyappingattheman,curlingitslipandbarking.It’seventhreateningtobite!Themanstepsbackwithanangrycurse.‘Nastypieceofwork,’hethinks,‘stupiddog!’Untiltherealization:Thedog’sbacklegiscaughtinatrap.Theanimalissnappingandbarkingbecauseit’sinpain.Suddenlythemanfeelsdifferentlyandquiteforgetshiscursing.Hefeelsonlycompassionforthishurtingcreature.Hostilityalwayscomesfromaplaceofpain.

Sowhosuffersfromyourpain?

OpeningNight

There’sexcitementinthetheatre:thecurtainisabouttogoup.Somanypeoplefromsomanyplacesandalltalkingaboutsomanythings!Butasthehouselightsdim,thechatterstops.Nowthereisfocus,agatheringofanticipationandoneness.Andthenitstarts–thecurtainswingsbackandtheopeningsceneisrevealed.Wow!

Thescenewasthereallthetime,setupandready,andveryclosetous–wejustcouldn’tseeitbecauseofthecurtain.Inasimilarmanner,mindfulawarenessdrawsbackcurtainsinsideus,revealingwhatwasclosetousbuthidden.Itdoesthisonecurtainatatime;thoughmanyaredrawnasideoveralifetime.

Thethirteenth-centurypoetandmysticRumisaidthisaboutcurtains,thoughhecalledthembarriers:‘Yourtaskisnottoseeklove,butmerelytoseekandfindallthebarrierswithinyourselfthatyouhavebuiltagainstit.’

Whenwestoptheinternalchatter,dimourthoughtsandgatherourselves,thepresentsceneofourlivesisrevealed.

ThePathtoThisPoint

Sometimespeoplelookbackonthepath,whichhasledthemtothispoint,andbecomeoverwhelmedbytheirpastlife.Theyseesomuchignorance,somuchstupidityandsomanyerrors.Theyfeelagainthedisgust,thedisappointmentsandthetroubles;andaskthemselves…‘Andallforwhat?’Thereisasensethatlife’sjourneyhasbeenadetour,takingthemawayfrom

whatisgoodandhopefulandtowardawastelandoffoolishness,wastedtimeanddespair.Yet,maybe,ithastobethiswaysothatwecanbecomechildrenagain,to

startoveragain.Maybewehavetounlearnourlearning;maybewehavetosleepbadlyinordertolearntosleepwell;maybethepathmustbeaccepted,embraced,allowed.

Whateverelsehasdied,itisn’tthesmallbirdofhope,singinginyourchest.

MindfulnessasaBridge

Howshallwedescribeourselves?Whendescribinghumanpsychology,somepeopletalkoffalseselfandtrue

self;others,ofpretendandsolid.Somefindpersonalityandessencearehelpfulwords,whileothersspeakofinsubstantialandsubstantialpeople.Whateverwordsweusetodescribethehumanpsychology,theintentisthe

same:weareaffirmingwithinustheexistenceofonelandwithtwoterrains.

Thepracticeofmindfulnessisthelivingandpresentbridgebetweenthesetwoterrains.Wecanuseittopassfromfalsetotrue,frompretendtosolid,frompersonalitytoessence,frominsubstantialtosubstantial.

Itisnotcomplicated.Likeanybridge,ittakesusfromonesidetotheother.

NotanAdventureStory

Somepeoplethinkthattheoppositeofadventureisstayingathomebutthisisnottrue.Theoppositeofadventureisself-justification.Haveyouevernoticedyourself-justifyingself?Selfjustificationthatfurnishes

youwithendlessescapeclausesforyourbehaviourandpresumesyouhavegoodreasonsforyourthoughts.Whyisthisaproblem?Selfjustificationisinsidious;whileprotectingusfromthetruth,itservesonly

torevealourinsecuritiesanddenyustheadventureoftrulyknowingourselves.We’relikeagrandshipinaharbour,readytosail,butwithacrewtooscared

toheadouttosea.Insteadofputtingupthesailsandsettingforth,thesailorsdistractthemselveswithargumentsoverwhoshouldbecaptain;negativecommentsaboutotherboats;andself-justifyingremarkslike‘Doyouknowwhoyou’retalkingto?’and‘Well,Iwasn’tstandingforthat!’and‘There’snotmuchwedon’tknowaboutsailing!’

Butseasonedharbour-watchersknowthat,thoughtheylovetotalkofit,theyhaveneversailed,ever.

WhenandWhere?

Lifeisanexchangebetweenourinnerandouterworlds;circumstancesaffectourspirit,justasspiritaffectsourcircumstances.Itisworthnoting,forinstance,thatJesus,whowasconsideredamasterof

prayer,roseearlyinthemorningandwalkedintothehillstopray.Thepeacehefoundtherewasahelpfulenvironmentforhisbusiness;outersilenceaidedhisinnersilence,andthisdailypracticewashelpfultohim.Afterall,hewouldbeoutamongthecrowdssoonenough.

Mindfulnesscanbepractisedinalltimesandplaces;butparticulartimesandplaceshelp.

Prisoner’sDelight

Imagineaprisonerinacell,hemmedinandhopeless.Imagine,then,alltheconfiningwallsdisappearingsuddenly,leavingthe

prisonergazingintothegreatbeyond.Everymomentofmindfulattentionissimilarlyliberating,providingfreedom

fromthewallsofourconditionedsuffering:sufferingthatarisesfromourpast.Theprisonerisnotthewalls;wearenotourconditioning–andthis

awarenessisliberation.

TheKingandtheFool

TheKing’sbanquetwasinfullflow,whentheCourtJesterwassummonedtoperform.Onarrival,hejuggledforatime,playedontheluteandthenbowedtotheKing.TheKingtoastedhimwithalargeglassofwine.‘Thankyou,yourHighness,’saidtheJester,‘though,asweseeonceagain,

youbattlemorewiththewinecorkthanwiththeevilsinthenation!’EveryoneintheGreatHallwassuddenlyquiet;butnottheJester.‘Youdanceexcitedlywithyourstatus;andgivegreathonourtoyour

imaginings.Butyouhavelostyourself,andmadeofyourbelovednationadistantanddisregardedfigure.Youbidyourpeopleserveyou!Butshouldnotyoubeservingthem?’Thesilencewasdeep;eventhemicewerehushed,asthejestercontinuedwith

histirade.‘YourHighnesslooksmoreinthemirrorthanhelooksinhissoul.ButI,the

jester,seetherustonyourshinycrown!’‘Whydoyoulistentothisfool?’whisperedtheoutragedQueenintheKing’s

ear.‘Thetruthdoesn’tflatterus,’repliedtheKing.‘Butitdoesfreeus.’

‘Continue,Jester,please!’

QuestionsConcerningtheCaptain

Theship’scaptainisbarkingoutorders.Firsthetakestheboatnorth,andthenhetakesitsouthandthen,withanotherorder,north-west.‘North!No,south!No,north-west!D’youhearme?’Heismostclearinhiscommands.And,imaginingthatthecaptainknows

whathe’sdoing,thecrewjumpintoaction,asheorderstheshipeast,andthensouthwestandthennorthagain:‘East!No,southwest!No,north!’Eachcommandiscrispandauthoritativeandcan’tbeignoredbecauseheis

theirleader.Asforthejourney,therecordsshowthatsofar,theshiphashitfouricebergs,

threefishingboatsandcollidedwithanoceanliner.Finally,theyarriveinport,damagedandfourweekslate–onlytodiscover

thatit’sthewrongport.‘Theymusthavemovedit,’saysthecaptainconfidently.

Don’tallowyourthoughtstobethecaptainofyourship.

MindfulnessandFreud

InBuddhistthought,enlightenmentisunderstoodnotasthepresenceofsomethingbutastheabsenceofsomething:thepermanentextinctioninourlivesofgreed,hatredanddelusion.Enlightenmentisnottheacquisitionofnewideasbutthepatientremovalof

oldwaysofbeingourselves.AnthonydeMello,aJesuitpriestandpsychotherapist,definedtruthas‘thesustainedconsciousnessoferror’,whichissayingthesamething.Iftheerrorsofgreed,hatredanddelusionareremoved,onlyhappinessremains.Freudagreedinpart.Hesawpeopledrivenbytwomainforces–eroticdrive

(greed)andaggressivedrive(hatred)–andacknowledgedtheirdestructivepowerinthehumanpsyche.

Herethepathsdiverge.ForwhileFreudregardedtheseforcesasimmoveable,Buddhistpsychologydoesnot.ForFreud,withsuchmonstersatthegate,weshouldnotexpectanythingmorefromtherapythan‘ordinaryhumanunhappiness’.InBuddhistpsychology,however,theseareweedsthatcanbeuprooted.‘Ordinaryhumanunhappiness’isnotwheremindfulnessends–

butbegins.

MakingRoomforHappiness

I’mputtingupballoonsandbuntingtodayincelebration.I’vegotChampagneandfireworks,too,becauseIwantittobetheverybestofwelcomes.Who’scoming?Equanimity.Yes,therumouristhatshemightcometometoday,hencethe

excitement.Imaginehavingtheattitudeofmindthatcanembracebothpleasureandpain,withoutbeingdrivenbythemintodesire-fuelledreaction.

Withoutequanimity,muchofmydayiscolouredbygraspingbehaviour,whichleavesnoroomforhappiness.Whathappens?First,mybehaviourbecomescompulsive,likethatofananimalormachine.I

losemyhumanity;myabilitytoactfreelywithawareness.Next,mygraspingleadsmetooverlooktheneedsofothers,whentheyconflictwithmyown.Andlast,eachsuchactbymegivessubstancetoaselfthatisnothingmorethanaghostlymemoryofmyclingingandgraspingpast.SoyoucanunderstandwhyI’mputtingupthebunting,hiringthebestcaterers

Iknowandsprayingeverythinggoldbecause,yes,equanimityiscoming!

AndIshallbehumanagain.

OtherPeople’sGardens

Whenprayerisdesire,itcanbelessthanholy.Somepeopleimaginethataslongastheyput‘Amen’attheend,theycanaskforwhatevertheywish.Thisisdesireinspiritualclothes;and,whateverthenatureofthedesire,desireisgreed.MeisterEckhart,thethirteenth-centurymystic,saidthat‘intrueobedience,

therewillbeno“Iwantthistohappen”or“Iwantthattohappen”butonlyapuregoingoutofwhatisourown.’Inotherwords,theonlyagentforchangeiswhoweare,andwhatgrowsout

ofit.So,insteadofadvisingeveryoneelseabouthisorhergarden,weareaskedsimplytotendourown,withawarenessofpresentexperiencewithacceptance.

Fromthisplace,happinessflows;andapuregoingoutofwhatisourown.

IntendedOutcomes

IfIwerebuildingahometoprotectmefromthewinter,Iwouldworkhard,awareofthecoldtocome.I’dworkwithconcrete,stone,woodandtile.I’dclimbladders,cementandrenderwallsandlevelfloors.Iwouldn’tnoticethelabourparticularly,thoughsometimesImightbetired.I’dbethinkingonlyofthecomingwinterandtheintendedhouse.

Beneathallourlabourisintention.Whatevertheworkwedoinlife–andeverythingiswork–ourintentionholdsit,guidesitandcoloursit.Acleanerinahotelmayfeelfrustratedorafilmstarmaybedepressedbuttheirunhappinessisnotcausedbywhattheydo;itiscausedbytheintentionstheybringtowhattheydo.Ifyourintentionistoreachthetop,itwillaffecthowyoutreatpeopleand

ensureyourunhappiness.

Someoneaskedmetheotherdaywhatwasmyintentionfortherestofmylife?Iwascaughtbysurpriseand,withoutthinking,heardmyselfsaying,‘Tofacemyownsufferingandbekind.’

But,moreimportantly,whatwouldyouranswerbe?

MovingForward

Ifwewishtoknowwhatmadeus,itisbesttoconsiderpsychotherapyor,perhaps,thewisdomoftheEnneagram,inthecompanyofawisecounsellor.If,however,wewishtounmakeourselves,itisbesttoconsidermindfulness,

whichcanbeundertakenonlyinourowncompany.Mindfulnessisambitious.Itproposesforyouawordlessrevolution,which

seekscompletetransformationofmind.How?Throughmindfulnesspractice,freshmomentsofinsightappeartoyou.These

fragmentsofclaritymayremainonlybrieflyatfirst,buteachsuchmomentisfuelforthenextone,whichmayhavemorestayingpowerthanthelast.Itisslowwork,butcumulative–likethewarmthofthesunonatownhitbyflood.Increasingly,intuitiongrantsusglimpsesofourconditioned,constructedand

changeablementallife.Andfromsuchinsightsandglimpses,fromsuchwordlessknowing,weknowwecannevergoback–

onlyforward.

TheOft-askedQuestion

‘WhatshouldIdo?’isacommonquestionandentirelystupid.Eventhosewhoseekamindfulwayoflifeoftenwanttoknowwhattheyshoulddo;orwhatIwoulddo.‘Whatwouldyoudo?’theyask.

Butthesearethewrongquestions.WhatshouldIdo?Whatwouldyoudo?Thesethingsarenothelpful.

Amorehelpfulquestionis:‘WhatshouldInotdo?’Towhichtheanswerissimple:‘Don’tidentifywithyournegativeemotions,

suchasworry,suspicion,hurt,resentmentandfear.’Butweignorethishelpfulquestion;ourfacebecomessad,andweturnand

walkaway.Ourpsychologyisrootedinanotheridea,whichinvolvestakinginitiatives,activismandtakingcontrol.Soweprefertheunhelpfulquestion:‘WhatcanIdo?’

Weaskthisagainandagain,likeonestandingbyamotorway,waitingforatrain.

2

BECOMINGAWARE

Waystobeawarewhenourtendencyistoblindness.Openingoureyeswillrevealnewthings.

What’sYourAddress?

Astateofbeingisaplace,yes?Physically,mostpeopleliketoliveinnicehomesandinagoodpartoftown.

Thisistheirchosenplaceand,perhaps,theysucceedingettingtherightaddressandfeelratherproudoftheirachievement.Butit’sameaninglessaddressinsomanyways;fortheirstateofbeingis

wheretheytrulylive.If,forinstance,someone’smentalactivityconsistsofresentment;orholding

otherstoaccount;orfeelingupsetbyeverylifeeventordisillusionment–then,wherevertheylivephysically,psychologicallytheyliveinthenarrowestanddarkestofstreets,infilthandsqualor.

Soifyourstateofbeingisaplace,what’syouraddress?Bemindfulofthistoday.

DefiningMoments

Whatdefinesyou?Wearedefinedbywhatwewant.Somesaywearedefinedbyour

understanding,whichistrue.Butthequalityofourunderstandingarisesfromwhatwewant.SometimesImeetpeoplewhotalkofwantingtobefreeorwantingtobereal.

Buttheyarenotpreparedtonoticetheiractsandthoughts,whicharestoppingthemfrombeingfreeandreal.Theyarehappytoreadaboutnoticing;buttheyholdbackfromactuallydoingit.Sotheconclusionmustbethat,thoughtheytalkaboutit,theydon’treallywantit.Wantingsomethingcreatesagreatenergyinsideus,andwherewechannel

thatenergyiswhatwebecome.Sowhatdoyouwanttoday?Whatisyouraim?

Ifyouwanttobecomeamonkey,restassuredyou’llbegintoresembleone.

WhatAreMyValues?

Whatdefinesyou?Wearedefinedbywhatwewant.Somesaywearedefinedbyour

understanding,whichistrue.Butthequalityofourunderstandingarisesfromwhatwewant.SometimesImeetpeoplewhotalkofwantingtobefreeorwantingtobereal.

Buttheyarenotpreparedtonoticetheiractsandthoughts,whicharestoppingthemfrombeingfreeandreal.Theyarehappytoreadaboutnoticing;buttheyholdbackfromactuallydoingit.Sotheconclusionmustbethat,thoughtheytalkaboutit,theydon’treallywantit.Wantingsomethingcreatesagreatenergyinsideus,andwherewechannel

thatenergyiswhatwebecome.Sowhatdoyouwanttoday?Whatisyouraim?

Ifyouwanttobecomeamonkey,restassuredyou’llbegintoresembleone.

Lights,Camera,Action

Ifthiswasalivemindfulnessshowandyouwerethecontestantinthestudio,thecameraswouldbeswingingroundtowardsyounowandthequestionbeingasked:‘Whatishappeningrightnow?’Thisquestionisthestartofallmindfulinquiry.Notwhathappenedyesterday,

ormighthappentomorrow,butsimply:whatishappeninginsideyounow?Andit’snotabout‘why’either.Whythisishappeningisaquestionfor

anothertime.Inmindfulexploration,it’sjustabout‘what’:‘Whatishappeningrightnow?’Asyourbodybecomesawareofyourstate,awareofwhatishappening,the

nextquestionis:‘Canyoustaywithwhat’shappening?Andcanyouacceptwhat’shappening?Ordoyoufeeltheurgetorejectitorrunaway?’

ForgetabouttheTVshow;thisismuchmoreimportantthanthat.

YoungAgain

Ifwearetomaketheworldyoungagain,wemustourselvesbecomeyoung.Wemustgiveupplayingtheexpertandemptyourselvesofourtiredknowing

andfalseimpressions.Wehavebecomeoldandbentwithoursupposedknowledgeanddistorted

perceptions.Ourtakeoneverythingiswrong.Wedon’tliveandlearn;weliveandconfirmdiscreditedpatternsof

understanding.Andso,ifwearetomaketheworldyoungagain,wemustourselvesbecome

young–andallowfreshlightintheroom.

UndertheBonnet

Somepeopledriveacarwithnoideahowitworks.Thisismanageablewhilethecarisperforming,butwhenitbreaksdown,there’saproblem.Youmaybeleftstrandedorinapanic,unsureofhowtofixtheproblem.Withnorelevantresourcestobringtothissituation,you’reinneedofhelp.Ifyouunderstoodhowthecarworked,muchoftheterrorwouldbegone.

You’dknowtheproblemandhowbesttodealwithit.Itmaywellbethatyoucouldsortityourself.

Mindfulnessisascienceofhumanunderstanding,revealinghowyouwork.Itisasciencebecauseitinvolvesinvestigationandtesting;itinvolveslookingandlearning–noticingthingsaboutourselves,whichlifehastrainedusnottosee.

AsIwalkhomefromthestation,Iamsometimessurprisedbytheappearanceofdisturbancefromnowhere.Athoughtappearsinmyheadandthenastrongfeeling,arisingfromthethought,followsit.SuddenlyIamsnatchedfrommystateofserenity,likeonekidnapped;andItracebackthemechanicsofhowithappened.Unravellingthesetwostrandsofexperience–thoughtandfeeling–reveals

therestlessmovementofmymind,howmyfeelingsareconstructedand,asIapproachhome,whattheydotomybody.

It’slikethefirstsessionofacarmaintenancecourse.

TheBoyWhoWantedtoBuildaSandcastle

Theboyhadwantedtobuildasandcastle.Hetoldeveryonethatthisiswhathe’ddoonthebeachthatday.‘I’mgoingtobuildthebestsandcastleever!’hesaid,andtheyalllookedon

andclappedashedughisspadeintothesandtostart.Butasthedaywentonanddifficultiesoccurred,hecollectedbeautifulshells

forawhileandthenplayedexcitingballgameswithotherchildren.Heenjoyedthesethingsverymuch,butthenstartedtocry,becausehe’d

wantedabovealltobeabuilderofsandcastles.‘Whyisyoursadnessaboutthesandcastlesoheavy?’askedthekind

deckchairattendant,‘andtheshellsandthegamessoquicklyforgotten?’‘Idon’tknow,’saidtheboy.‘AllIknowisIfeelverysad.’

Sometimeswebecomeawarethatonefeelingorlongingcarriesparticularforce.Wecan’talwayssaywhy,andmaycryasweallowittopassthrough,

andthisisOK.

TheOvenDoor

Asyouwillknow,theoft-openedovendoesnotcookwell.Witheachopeningofthedoor,heatisquicklylostasitpoursmeaninglessly

intothekitchen.Thefocusedenergyofthefurnaceisdissipated,theintensitydiminishedandthehightemperaturedistracted.Thecookinginevitablysuffers.Whenweclosetheovendoor,andkeepitshut,wefocustheheatonceagain

andallowtheoventodowhatitdoesbest.Liketheoven,everynewthoughtisanopeningoftheovendooranda

dissipationofourstrengthandfocus.

Asweallowourbreathingtotakeusintoourbody,wewatchourthoughtscomeandgo,wastingenergy;andwebecomemoreadeptatclosingthedoorofourinnerspace–

andguardingagainsthalf-bakednotions.

HoleintheWallGang

Whenwerestoresomething,wereturnittoitsformerstate.Thisisthemeaningof‘pristine’,thewaysomethingwasinthebeginning.Oursenseofreality,therefore,isnotinpristinecondition,butbarnacledand

batteredbyourconditioning.Wetendtonoticeonlyexperiencethatservesourongoingprojectsandgoals.If,forinstance,Iamrushingforabus,Iseeonlythebus,thedistancebetween

andanyobjects(people)inmyway.Iamunawareofthecirclingbirds,awomanopeninganupstairswindoworagreengroceracrosstheroadrearrangingtheoranges.Inoticenothing,whichdoesnotrelatetomygoal.Thisleavesmysenseofrealityalmostnon-existent.Wenoticethosethingsthatserveus.Wewelcomeintoourconsciousnessonly

thatwhichhelpsustowardourgoalsorconfirmsourassumptionsandbeliefs.Everythingelse,weoverlook.Restoringrealityinvolvesputtingdistancebetweenourselvesandourgoals

andbeliefs.Itisasthoughwearecreatingaholeinawell-defendedwall,throughwhichhelpcancome.Inthevacantspacecreated,realitycanarrive;andfornootherreasonthanitself.

Foramoment,weareinpristinecondition.

HowtoHandleSnakes

Thesnakewasstillyoungandwithoutitsfullquotaofvenom.Evenso,itwascausingtheboysomepain.‘Thesnakekeepsbitingme!’complainstheboytohisdad.He’sawarethathisdadhardlyevergetsbittenandyet,asasnake-handler,he

handlessnakesallday.‘It’sallabouthowyouholdthem,’sayshisdad.‘HowIholdthem?SowhatshouldIchangeaboutthewayIholdthem?’‘It’shelpfultoholdthemverylightly,’sayshisdad.‘ButIliketogripthem!’‘Iknow,Iknow.Butloosenyourgripandholdthemevermorelightly.Inthat

way,theywon’thurtyou.’

And,aswithsnakes,sowithourtheories:weshouldholdthemevermorelightly.

TheQualityofSilence

Notwosilencesarethesame,anymorethananytwocloudsarethesame.Sotoday,webecomeawareofthequalityofoursilence.Perhapsweareinahurrytobesomewhereorwantsomethingtohappenand

oursilenceisimpatient.Or,perhaps,oursilenceisadefensiveandself-justifyingsilence,ennoblingusanddenouncingothers.Perhaps,itisanangrysilence,turbulentlikearestlesssea;oranumbsilenceunabletofeelmeaning.Orperhapsitisastillsilence,fullofbeautyandpossibility,likedewygrassat

thebeginningoftheday.

Aswelistentoourbreathing,thequalityofoursilencebecomesapparent.Thissilencedeterminesthequalityofournoise.

TheHijackers

Ifyou’rethepilotofaplaneflyingtoLondon,theappearanceofevenonehijackerisbadnews.Theycometotakeyoufromyourplanneddestination.Butwhatifthereisnotonehijackerontheplane–butahundred?ThefirststandsupandtellsyoutoflytoNewYork.Thesecondinsiststhe

planegoestoDelhi.AthirddemandsthatyoumustlandinSydney,whileafourthwillhearofnodestinationbutCairo.Andthencomealltheothers...Poorplane!Firstitissentinonedirection,thenanotherandthenanotherstill.

You’reatthecontrols,butnotincontrol.Theaircraftisallovertheplaceand,afterawhile,withsomanyvoicesinyourhead,youforgetyourtruedestination.Ourthoughtsactinjustthesamewayonourday,hijackingourcontentment.Tenslowbreaths,whichwecountinandcountout,oneaftertheother,can

helpremindyouofwhoyouare,whyyouarehereandwhereyouwishtofly.

Before,therewasjustonehijackingthoughtafteranother;andeachonesoinsistent.Now,weareontherightpath.

UnhelpfulProjections

Ifyou’renotawarethatyoursonisbeingbulliedatschool,youdon’ttakethematterupwithhisteacher.Whywouldyou?Andifyou’renotawareofcancerouscellsinyourbody,youdon’tgofor

treatment.Again,whywouldyou?Youcan’tchangewhatyou’renotawareof,thisisobvious;and

psychologically,you’retoofrightenedtobeawareofverymuch.Sodon’tmakemoredifficultiesforyourself.Don’t,forinstance,projectontootherswhatyourejectinyourself,whichis

whatyouspendmuchtimedoing.Wedothisoutoffear,buttheseprojectionsmuddythewater,soyoulosesightofyourself.ThisisunhelpfulandIthinkofthetherapist,whoprojectedhisownlackof

self-knowledgeontohisclientsandcausedthemtoflounder.Instead,bringaspiritofacknowledgementtoyourlife,foracknowledgement

feedsawareness.Fromhereon,traceeveryjudgementofanotherbacktoafracturewithinyourself.Insteadofprojectingontootherswhatyoudon’tlikeinyourself,allowthings

withinyou;acknowledgethingsaboutyourself,withoutfear.

Andhereispeaceandchange.

TheValueofMud

Youdon’thavetobelieveanythingtobemindful;indeed,certainbeliefmaygetintheway.Worshippinganidea,howeverfine,sooninvokesthelawofdiminishingreturnsandbringsdisillusionment.Nosingleideahasarmseitherlongenoughorstrongenoughtoholdreality.Insteadofbelievinganythinginparticular,themindfulstartbytakingnoteof

theirbodiesandthemudoftheirexistence.Whatmudmighttheynotice?Theynotetheirawkwardbreathingwhen

scared;theirtightchestwhenangry;thefrown-lockedface;thecockyswagger;thetenseshoulders;thesweatoffear;theburningfaceofshame;thezoningoutwhenchallenged;thespitefulsneerorthefurtivefrightenedeyes.Somesaythattheyhavebetterthingstodothancontemplatesuchmud;that

nogoodcancomeofit.TheBuddhawouldn’tagreewiththem.Helovedpsychologicalmudand

reckonedthatnoticingitwasthestartofwellbeing.

Ashesaid,‘Onlyfrommuddoesthebeautyofthelotusfloweremerge.’

MaggotsandtheBallroomBeyond

Whensomeoneisintherapy,youoftenhearthemsaysomethinglike:‘Ididn’tknowIhadsomanyissuesuntilIstartedtherapy!NowI’mfindingnewonesthatIdidn’tknowwerethere!’Heightenedawarenesscanbesimilar.‘Awarenessisallverywell,’youmight

say,‘butitoftenappearstobringmoreproblemsthanitsolves.’It’struewedon’tseethemaggotsuntilweliftthelid;andwhenwedo,

findingfirstonemaggotandthenbeneathitanotherandthensomemorefurtherdown,itcanbeabitofashock.

Butalliswell,becausethemaggotsaremerecorridorstotheballroombeyond.Youneedthecorridor;youdon’tneedtostaythere.

TheBurningBoat

IrememberbeingatPortsmouthharbouratnight,andfeelasthoughI’mtherenow.There’saburningboatonthemudbeach.I’mbesideitbutdepressed,asI

havebeenforawhile.Ilookattheboatandthink:That’sme–everythingisbeingdestroyed.Theburningboatmerelyreaffirmsmyfeelingsofdespair.Andthat’showthememorystayswithmeuntilafewyearslater,when

someonequestionsmyinterpretation:‘Suchgloryintheboat’sdying,’theysay.Ireflectonitandsuddenlyseetheglory.Thingsweredying,buttherewasso

muchgloryinthedying!Thewonderfulorangeflameinthedarknightsky–stunning!Whyhadn’tIseenthat?Ihadn’tseenitbecauseofmyself-justifyingself-image.Iwasadepressed

person,avictimandeverythinghadtobeinterpretedthroughthisbleakprism.Aburningboat!Well,thathadtobenegative–cuemoredespair.Leftinthisstate,Iwouldhavejustifiedmyselftohell,whichiswherealotof

usareformuchofthetime,defendingoursoiledperceptions.

Isometimesaskpeople:‘Whatisitthatyou’redefendinghere?’Moreoftenthannot,they’redefendingnothingnoblerthantheirrighttounhappiness.

TheSeventhSense

Canyouseethesixdoors?They’reworthwatching.Thesearethesixdoorsofoursenses–sight,smell,taste,touch,hearingand

thought–throughwhichhumanexperiencearrives.Experienceispushingateachdoor,evenasyouread.Throughthedoorsof

touch,sightandthought,youexperiencethepagesofthisbookandthewordsonthepage;whilethroughthedoorofsmell,youexperience,perhaps,yourcleanclothes.Throughthedooroftaste,youmightexperiencethesweetnessofabiscuit,

whilethroughhearing,youexperiencethetrafficoutside.There’ssomucharrivingthroughthedoors.Andnowwatchagain,becausesomethingimportantishappening.Greeting

eachnewarrivalisafeeling,whichsetsthetoneofyourresponse.Feelingistheseventhsenseandapowerfulone.Ourfeelingsactlikean

overbearingbutlerwithaweakmaster.Feelingnotonlygreetseachofmysixsenses,itthendefineshowIreacttothem;howIconstructmymoment.

Ourseventhsenseoffeeling,likethebutler,needswatching;he,perhaps,assumestoomuchpower.

SaltintheWound

Saltsprinkledonhealthyskinisn’taproblem.Itiseasilybrushedoff,ifnoticedatall.Afterall,ourbodyproducessaltwhenweexercisesoitisnotanenemy.Ifyouhaveafleshwound,however,thensaltbringspainandreaction.‘It’s

rubbingsaltinthewound’asthesayinggoes.Butit’sthewound,andnotthesalt,whichissparkingthereaction.Thisistruealsoofpsychologicalpainso,today,we’llbeawareofwhenit

appearsandwhy.Whensomethingorsomeoneactslikesalt,we’llreactonlyifwecarryawound.Ourfailingisnottobewounded;ourfailingistoignorethewoundwhile

attackingeveryoneelseinpainedreaction.Thesepeopledon’tneedourattention;butourwoundedplacesdo.Whichwoundinmecreatedthatreaction?Andwhatcausedthewound?

Thesearethequestions.

TheEngagement

Theboy’smotherwasgettingevermorefrustratedwithherson,Silvio.Hisbehaviourwasbecomingincreasinglyridiculous.‘I’vejustgotengaged,Mother!’hesaid.‘Isn’titwonderful?’‘Yougotengagedtosomeoneelseyesterday.’‘Idid,yes,butthisisdifferent.’‘AndSilvio,haveyouforgottenyougotengagedtwicelastSunday?’‘Iknow,Iknowandtheywerebothdearpeople.’‘I’velostcountofyourengagements.’‘That’spossible,Mother,butthisone’sthegirlofmydreams!Ijustknow

she’sMissRight.’‘Soweretheothers,Silvio;youwerepassionateaboutthemall.’‘Thistimeit’sreallyreal.’‘Untilthenextone!Youdon’thavetogetengagedeverytimeyoumeetagirl.

Youcouldjusthaveacoffee.’

Watchingthoughtscomeandgo,withoutengagingwiththem,freesusfrombrooding.Thisisthething:wedon’thavetogetengaged.

AQuestionoverCoffee

Thereisacost,ifthatistherightword.Whenconscious–awareofourpresentexperiencewithacceptance–thenyou

won’tbelessawareofthepainofothers;youwillbemoreaware.TheotherdayIhadcoffeewithamaninashoppingmalland,thoughwe

talkedofanumberofthings,onlyonequestionpresseditselfuponme.AndsoIaskedhim:‘Whatdoesangerfeellikeinyourbody?’‘It’sprobablytimeIfacedit,’hesaidinamatter-offactway,asthoughwe’d

discusseditatlength,thoughneitherofushadspokenofitbefore.

Itisgoodtobepartofacircle,wheretheawarenessofonepersonnudgesawarenessinanotherandsoon.

ACautionaryTale

Here’sastrangething:Shehasthelargestcollectionofall-promising,all-healingself-helpbooksthat

Iknowof;yetinmyexperience,sheisawomanleastabletoreceivethetruth.Shemakesexcitingplansforhersuper-spiritualsearch,whiledailyshepushes

awayunwantedrealities.‘Thesearenothingtodowithmysearch!’shedeclares.‘Iseektomoveontoahigherplain!’Thiswomanlikesnothingbetterthantoreadaboutawareness;thoughshe

lacksthecouragetoexperienceitforherself,now.Asawalkingbookofhelpfulspiritualquotations,sheseemstoknow

everything,yetunderstandsnothing.

Whenthetruthleavesherheadandentersherbeing,fillingitscorridorslikeasweetaroma,thiswillbeagoodday.

TheHardestWord?

InthesupermarketwhereIusedtowork,weweren’tallowedtosaysorrytocustomers.‘Don’tsaysorry!’weweretold.Thestorewashappytorefundyouforthedentedcanofbeansorexchange

thetartorangesforsweeterones.Butyounevergota‘Sorry’.‘Itisn’tthemessagewewanttogive,’weweretold.‘Sowhatisthemessagewewanttogive?’Iasked.‘Weneedtobepositive,Simon.Thisisacompetitiveindustry.Peoplemust

leavethestorefeelingthey’repartofasuccessstory!’Thisiswhy,ontheshopfloor,wewerealsoforbiddenfromusingtheword

‘unfortunately’.Itwasn’tdeemedpositiveenough;ithadtheslightwhiffoffailure.Inthismatter,thesupermarketdisplayedthestupidityoftheinsecure.Iamnotdiminishedbysayingsorry…Iamfreed.

Apologydoesn’tbreakrelationships;itliberatesthem.

MyIntentions,HonourableorOtherwise

Iwillnoticemyintentionstoday;theattitudeIassumetowardsomethingthatishappening.Somepeoplethinkthereisnothingwecandoaboutourintentions;thatthey

aresomehowwritteninstone:‘That’sjustthekindofguyIam!’ButintentionsarechoicesImake,minutebyminuteaslifearisesaroundme

andwithinme.HowwillIdealwiththissituation?Whetherathomeoratwork,intentiondetermineswhatI’mgoingtodoaboutit.

Sowhatwillbemyintentionnow?ShallIembracewhatishappeningorresistit,becausethetwoarenotthesame.Oragain,doIprolongthisconversationordoIterminateit?ShallItakeoutmyfrustrationonthispersonornot?Withthefactsbeforeme,willIbecoldorencouraging?ShallIbepassiveandslowdowntoirritateothersoractivelyhelp?Intentionscanbecarriedoutinawordlessfashion.Whetheronthephoneoronthebus,Iwillnoticemyintentionstoday.AndI

willnoticethedispositionsthatinformmyintentions,which–likeover-eageradvisorstothePresident–canendupmakingpolicyonthehoof.

Myintentionsmayormaynotbehonourable;buttheywillbenoticed.

ThoughtsofGod

IfGodfillsyourthoughts,youmaybeintrouble;forwhenyourthoughtsend,sowillyourGod.Thoughtsarethemostchangeablethingsand,iftheyaretocarryourGod,itis

likeleavingadrunkinchargeofababy.AGodofthoughtsisquicklyill.Whenourthoughtsharden,sowillourGod;

andwhenourthoughtsaredistracted,soisourGod.AndahardGodoradistractedGodisaGodwholooksratherlikeyou.IfGodisourjourney,weneedaGodthatisbeyondthoughtandimaginings,

whoinhabitsourheartandbeing;aGodwhoweseehappilyinallthings;wholeavesusunencumberedbyattachmentsandwithafreemind.

PerhapsfreemindsareoneoftheclearestsignsofGod’spresence;mindsliberatedfrompreference.

BewareofLove

Itmaybeastrangethingtosaybutbewareoflovetoday,whereveryoucomeacrossit,whetheritisinthenewspapers,amagazinearticleorinconversation.Theword‘love’generallydescribesanemotion,whichemergesinsideusvia

highlytoxicchannels.Incurrentunderstanding,itisafeelinggrippedbypossessiveness,chaperonedbyjealousyandwithitsalterego,hate,waitingreadyinthewings.Lovesuchasthis–whetherparental,amorousorsocial–isanemotion,

whichisgenuinelyshortoncharm:easilyupset,manipulativeand,even,vindictive.Theenlightenedhavenorelationshipwiththisemotion,preferringinsteadthe

purefeelingofcompassion,which,unlikelove,doesnotflowthroughthepollutingchannelsoftheego.

Andthisiswhyitissocharming.

TheManWhoWantedShoes

Seethepoormanwhowantedapairofshoes.Thismandesiredshoes,longedforthemaboveallelse.Hislongingwassowellknowninthecommunitythatakindbenefactorgave

himtheleatherheneeded.Buthehadtomaketheshoeshimself,sotheytrulyfittedhim.Thismeantthatthepoormanhadtowaitalittlelongerforhisshoes,whichhe

grumbledabouttobeginwith,butsooncametoappreciate.Thebenefactorcouldhavegivenhimapairofhisshoesbutthiswouldn’t

haveworked.Thepoormanmusthavehisownshoesandnotthoseborrowedfromanother.

Wemaylongtobeawarebutwecan’tborrowsomeoneelse’sawareness.Wecanusetheirteaching–butourawarenessmustbemadefromourownlives.

3

BECOMINGPRESENT

Waystobepresent,whenourtendencyistobeabsent;andwhywearehappierandhealthierlivinginthemoment.

BreathofLife

Breathingexercisesareasimpleandprofoundwayintomindfulnessbecausetheygiftuswiththepresent.Whereverourthoughtsoremotionsmaybetakingus,backwardorforwardintime,ourbreathingisrefreshinglypresentandinvitesustojoinitthere.Youcouldnoticeyourbreathingnow.Asyoucounteachbreathinandeach

breathout,youareinwardlystrengthened,simplybythereturnofyourbeingtothepresent.Thepresentisnourishingbecauseit’swhereyou’remeanttobe;it’slikeputtingaplantinsunlight.Asyoubreatheinandout,distractionswillappear;onethoughtafteranother

willtrytosnatchyoufromthepresent.Noteeachdistractionkindly,howevermanythereare;andreturneachtimetoyourbreathing;tobeingpresent,tobeingstrengthened–tobeingconscious.

EnteringtheFire

Threeyoungmen,Shadrach,MeshachandAbednego,werethrownintothefire.ThemenhadrefusedtoworshiptheBabyloniankingNebuchadnezzarIIand,inpreparationfortheirdeaths,thefurnacehadbeenmadeseventimeshotterthanusual.Thesoldiers,whothrewthemintothefurnace,werebadlyscalded,yetthe

threemenwerequiteunharmedbytheflames;andNebuchadnezzarwasdisturbedtoseewhatlookedlikeafourthfigureinthefurnacewiththem.Wasitaguardianangel?

ThisstoryistoldinthebookofDanielintheOldTestamentandremindsusthatthepresentcanappearlikeafurnace:afurnaceoftruththatweavoidwhenweworshipattheshrineofendlessdistraction.

NoharmcametoShadrach,MeshachandAbednegoand,likethem,weneedfearnothing.Thepresenthasitsownguardianangel.

TheHardEdge

Thereneedstobeahardedgetoourintentionsortheyarenothing.I’mteachingmyselfthepiano,I’dliketoplaywell.Butthehardedgeisthis:Ineedtopracticetobebetter.Isetmyself10minutesaday,whichisn’tmuchbutdoesmeanIdoit.It’sapossibletarget.Sowhatdoyouintendforyourlife?Andwhatdoyouproposetodoaboutit?Where’sthehardedgeof

authenticity?It’sworthathought.

Thereneedstobeahardedgetoourintentions...ortheyarenothing.

MeditationofAttention

Themeditationofattentionisasimplepracticeandonethatyoucandoanywhere,atanytimeofday.Itcanbedoneaseasilyonabusasinatempleandonlytakesafewminutes.Inthismeditation,weintentionallyfocusourattentionononething,as

opposedtomanythings;andreturnourattentiontothepresent.Itdoesn’tmatterwhatyoufocuson,becausetheworldisyourfriend,andwill

speakfreelywithyou,whetheryouworkonafarm,anoilrigorinanoffice.Whatyouchoosetofocusonisuptoyou:whetherit’sanobjectinyourhome

oroneseenonyourdailytravels;whetherit’ssomethingbeautiful,oddorentirelycommonplaceandunremarkable–youareinvitedtoconsiderit.Becomeawareofitsappearance,itssettinganditscomposition.Whoand

whathasgoneintoitsmaking?Andwhatisitsrolenow?Willitlastmanyyearsoronlybriefly?Howdoesitfeel?Whatelsedoesitsilentlysaytoyou?

Noaspectoftheworldissilentwhengivenpresentattention.

WatchingtheClock

Ihaveanewclock,whichstopsmegoingmad;anditmakesmewonderiftheseclocksshouldn’tbemorewidelyavailable–tostopotherpeoplegoingmad.It’sanormalclockinmanyways.It’scircular,intraditionalfashion,and

boastsanhourhand,minutehandandsecondhand,allofwhichclickhappilyaroundtheclock’sface.Butforsomeonelikemyself–whocanspendtoomuchtimeimaginingfuture

scenesthatdon’texist,andgettingangry,fearfuloranxiousaboutthem–thenewclockiswonderful.Itsdistinguishingfeatureisthattherearen’tanynumeralsonitsface;there

isn’tacircleofonetotwelve.Instead,whereeachnumbershouldbe,invariouscolours,isjustthewordNow.Whattimeisit?Now.Infact,onmyclock,it’sonlyevernow,whichsuitsme

well.

I’msomuchhappierinthepresent,whereallisperfect.

HowWillIKnow?

HowwillIknowwhenIampresent?Inthepresent,Iwillhavenoenemiestoholdtoaccount,novendettastoplot

andnodisappointmentsonwhichtobrood.Animosityanddisappointmentaretooobesewithundigestedhistorytoexist

inthepresent;theycan’tgetthroughthedoor.Sohereweareinthepresent–freeofeitherjudgementorresentment.

Howdelightfulitisforourbodytobeliftedclearfromthatlakeoftoxicwaste.

ThePresentMoment

IntheGospelofThomas,thefollowersofJesussaid:‘Telluswhoyouare,sothatwemaybelieveinyou.’Likeus,theywerebusysearchingformeaning.Jesusanswersthem:‘Yousearchthefaceofheavenandearth,butyoudonot

recognizetheonewhoisinyourpresence;andyoudonotknowhowtoexperiencethepresentmoment.’

We’renotthefirsttobesobusysearchingthatwemissthemeaningofnow.

EnergyforLife

Mindfulnessisnotagoodidea.Itismuchbetterthanthat.Mindfulnessisenergyfortouchinglifemoredeeply,morekindly,moresafely

andmoreinsightfully.Thisenergy,whichwecallforthfromourselves,bringsustomindfulsitting,

walkingorstanding.Here,webreatheinoursufferingorourexcitementorourrestlessness,andin

time,truthbecomesapparent;awaybecomesapparentbecausethereisalwaysaway.

Ourmindfulenergybringsusintothepresent.Thepresentthengreetsus,crashesthroughuslikeawaterfallandgeneratestheenergyoffresh

experience,arisingfromunknownplaceswithinus.

MeltingTime

Inlineartime,everythinghastobemovingtowardsomething,developingintosomethingelse.Weliketothinkofourlivesasprogressing,asajourneywe’reon,makingourwayforwardtowardssomefuturetime.Butprogressliesnotinthepassageoftimebutinourunderstandingoftime.

Forpast,presentandfutureallexistasoneintheeternalpresent.Theseedcontainstheflower;thenewbornbabyisalsotheoldman;thedespairingsoulisalsothejoyfulsoul.Yes,thedarknessisthelightandtheselfishpersonthesaint.Everythinginthismomentcontainsallotherthings.Weusementalimagestocreateatimetocome,becauseourthinkingislinear

andseparating,andonlyunderstandsonethingafteranother.But,incontemplation,thereisnotimebutnow,inwhichallthatwas,isandwillbeexistsimultaneously.Sonotimeisheldtobebetterorworse,foreachmomentiscompleteinitself,fulfilledinitselfandthewholetruth,frombeginningtoend.

Inthisway,weprogresstowardsnothing,becausewe’realreadythere.

BeyondthePuppetHouse

RaythepuppetmakerisaskedbyhiscolleagueBarneyifhewishestocomeoutforadrinktonight.‘Nothankyou,’repliesRay.‘Whynot?’saysBarney.‘I’mgoingtospendtheeveninginthecompanyofmypuppets.’‘Butyoualwaysdothis,’saysBarney.‘Iknow.’‘They’renotrealpeople!’‘They’rewhatIwantthemtobe,’saysRay,‘andthat’sgoodenoughforme.’‘Andthenyou’llgohome,Isuppose?’‘No.I’mspendingthenightinthepuppethouseImade.’‘Butit’smake-believe!’‘It’sjusthowIwantit.’‘Butyouhavearealhomeoutthere!’AtwhichpointRaythrowsablanketoverhishead,andsaysthathecan’tsee

Barney’spointatall.

IthasbeensaidthattheworldisonlyasrealasIam.Somypracticetoday,asIbecomepresent,istoallowscenesandpeopletobereal,unmadeandun-

inventedbyme.

NoticingtheSausageMachine

Onlyafoolwouldbesurprisedwhentheshapeofasausageappearsfromasausagemachine.Afterall,thatistheshapeandformofthemachine:tubularandsqueezy.Whatelsecouldappearbutasausage?Inlikemanner,ourpresentcomesshapedbyourpast.Andwhatshapecanthe

pastcreateotherthanitself?Soalthoughourmomentspretendtobefresh,theycometousstale–mustywiththesmellofoldperceptions,feelingsandintentions.Mindfulmeditation,however,createsonlyfreshmoments;momentsinfused

withenergiesconjuredfromtheeternalpresent,whichmakesallthingsnew.

Today,we’llnoticethesausagemachineofoldreaction;and,whenwecan,turnoffthepower.

TheBathroomFloorIsEnough

Iwasonmykneesyesterday,cleaningthebathroomfloor,whenIfoundmyselfthinkingthatImightbeabletodothekitchenaswell,ifIhurried.SoIbegantohurry,cleaninginhaste,whichcausedmetoknockmyarmagainstthesideofthebath.Ouch!Fortunately,thenIrecoveredconsciousnessandstoppedhallucinatingabout

thekitchen.Iletgoofhurryanddistraction,andreturnedtothepresentandthebathroomfloor–noticingthepatternonthefloortilesforthefirsttime.

Itwasbothajoyandarelieftobehome.

WarmCurrents

Whenswimminginthecoldsea,wesometimesfindawarmcurrentenvelopingourlegsbeneaththesurface.It’sasweetdiscoveryandbringswarmthtoourchillybodies.Thewarmthisanelusivefriend,however,forit’slostintheswirlingdepthsas

quicklyasitwasfound.Sowemoveourbodiestofinditagain,adjustingourselvesbeneaththesurface,stretchingoutalegtoenjoythewarmplaceagain.

Inthesameway,wereturnourselvestothepresent:makingadjustmentsbeneaththesurfacetofindtheelusivewarmthagain.

LikeaPanther

Aswesettleintoourbreathingandintothepresent,wenoteanyconcerns,whichtakeusfromthepresent.Perhapstheyareconcerns,whichtakeusbackintothepast,aswereturnto

someone’swordsoraparticularevent.Orperhapstheytakeusintothefuture,asweanticipateaconversationoranoutcome–happyorfrightening.Weareconstantlytakenfromthepresentbyourmultiplelives.It’slikea

personwhotriestositstill,andthenscratchesanitchinoneplaceandthenanotherandthenanother.Theyendupdoingeverythingbutsittingstill.Yet,asweallowourmultiplethoughtstocomeandgo,webegintotouchour

substance.Frommultiplicitytosimplicity;fromscatteredtocollected;fromdistractionto

focus–

likeapanthergatheringitselftoleap.

OurSubstantialSelf

Haveyoueverfeltyou’velostsomethingalongtheway?Losttouchwithsomethingstrongandbeautifulinside?It’sacommonfeelingbecause,ofcourse,wehave.Inordertosurvive,wehadtosaygoodbyetoourtruestself.We’vehadto

chiselapersonalitythatcanmakeitswayintheworld,butisn’twhoweare.Ithelpedussurvive,whichisgood...butitcan’tgiveushappiness.Sowhatnow?JulianofNorwich,thefourteenth-centurycontemplative,wasthefirstEnglish

womantowriteabook;andinit,shespeaksofoursubstantialandinsubstantialself.Thebravearebecomingwhattheytrulyare,theirmoresubstantialselves.Thelessbravearestayingwiththeiroldpersonality,theirinsubstantialself.

Isuspectyouareoneofthebrave.

KeepTalking

Mindfulnessmaylandusinajungle.Whilepsychologicaltheoriesprovideamapofourinnerjungle,mindfulness

dropsusrightinthemiddleofit;andthiscan,onoccasion,befrightening.Ithastobethisway.Theexperienceofthejunglemustbeourown;noone

canwalkitforus.We’llbewise,however,ifwefindacompaniononourjourney,withwhomwecantalkaboutwhatwefind.Whyisthiswise?Ifawarenessofthepresentbringsawarenessofpain,we’ll

feelalone,whichisnothelpful.Aschildren,itwaswhenwefeltleftalonethatweleftourtrueselves;andtheexperienceoflonelinessmayencourageustorunawayagainnow.Andsoit’sgoodtokeeptalking.Aswejourneybacktoouressence,it’sgood

toremindourselvesthatwearenotalone.OftenIgetemailssaying:‘Ihadtotellsomeone!’

Andit’strue,wedo.

IDesireAnxiety

Doyouknowananxiouspersonorareyouoneyourself?Thenyou’llbeawarethatananxiouspersonisnevermadebetterbyhaving

theiranxietysorted,forthenanotherappears.Anxioussoilcreatesacropofanxieties,regardlessofcircumstance.Cutonedownanduppopsanother;asoneproblemissorted,anotherisalreadyinview.It’sthesamewithdesire.Ifonedesireisfed,anotherhungrydesirepresents

itself;andasoneisputtobed,anotheronewakesup.Inthisway,ourlifebecomesasadstaggerfromone‘ifonly’toanother–astatewhichremovesanysenseofmeaningfulorlastingpeace.Anxietyisaparticularsortofdesire;itisthedesirefordistractionawayfrom

thepresent.Theselffearsexposuretothepresentandsodesiresthefocustobedistractedbysomepastorfutureworry.

Intakingusfromthepresent,anxietytakesusfromtheonlyplaceonEarthwhereallisquitewell.

TheManWhoLovedMedicalBooks

Melvynlovedmedicalbooks.Nothinggavehimgreaterpleasurethantoperusemedicaldictionaries,inordertofindoutwhatwaswrongwithhim.Melvynhadn’tanyneedofdoctors;instead,hehadtheprintedwordandthe

clearconclusionshedrewfromself-diagnosis.Andwhatcouldbeamorefoolproofwaytoproceed?AndMelvynlivedaninterestinglifeuntiltheageof39,whenhediedofa

misprint.

Likeouramateurmedic,wedisplayaninfatuationwithourtheories,whichweconstructfromafewscrapsofevidence.Onceinplace,alltheinformationisorganizedtofitwiththem;andwhatdoesn’tfitisignored.AsAbrahamMaslowsaid,‘Ifyouonlyhaveahammer,youtendtoseeeveryproblemasanail.’Howcanmindfulnesshelpusinouraddictiontotheory?Thesimplepracticeofpresentbreathingimmediatelycreatesdistance

betweenmyselfandmythoughts.Inthepresent,Idon’tknowwhatthefutureholds,whereasmytheorieshavemuchtosayaboutit.

Ourtheoriesexisttogiveustheillusionofcontrol.Rootedinthepresent,weknowthatwehavenone,andthat’sOK.

TheMadElephant

Itisunderstoodthatwehavethreecentresofoperationinsideus.Thesearecomprisedofourintellectualcentre,whichisconcernedwithourthoughts;ourmovingcentre,whichisconcernedwithourwillandourbodies;andouremotionalcentre,whichisconcernedwithourfeelings.Thethreecentresareintimatelyrelated,asallthingsare.Theemotionalcentreisthehardesttohandle,asitisthehardesttoseparate

from.Ifwetakeouremotionalstateforgranted,asthoughitisinevitableandoutsideourjurisdiction,itcanacquirethepowerofarampagingelephant,dangerousandoutofcontrol.Mindfulnessbringstwotamerelephantsalongsidethemadone,eithersideof

it–theintellectualcentreandthemovingcentre.Perhaps,weuseourmindtofocusonthepresentandputthingsinperspective.Perhaps,weuseourstillbodiestoinhalecalmandexhalepanic.

Withsuchcompanions,themadelephantofemotionalresponseisledintothepeacefulpresent.

HomeTruths

Perhaps,mindfulnessishardestinthehome.Homeiswheredeep-rootedpatternsofbehaviourhaveestablishedthemselves,andwhereourreactionsarehabitual,automaticandoftenemotionallycharged.Bringingawarenessofthepresentmomentintoourhomelifeischallenging

andrefreshing.Webegintonoticewhatwearefeeling,momentbymoment,andtheeverydayoccurrencesandexchangesthatcauseustobehaveinacertainway.Thisheightenedawarenessofourbehaviourandreactionsmightbringnewdiscoveries.Andevenaswearenoticingthesethings,weareplacingaholypausein

proceedingsbeforeourhabitualreactionskickin.Onehelpfulactistopauseatthedoorofyourhomebeforeentering.

Whateveryouhavecomefrom,andwhateverfacesyounow,becomeaclearspaceforamoment,beforeturningthekey;andthentakeyourmindfulselfinside.Thereisnowthepossibilitythatwemightrespondratherthanreact–

becausethepresenthasnohistory.

NoTurningBack

InthebookofGenesis,Lotandhisfamilyleavetheirhome,thedoomedcityofSodom.Famously,againstadvice,Lot’swifelooksbackforamomentandisturnedintoapillarofsalt.Andthetruthofthisfableechoesacrossthecenturies.Thereremainsinourconditionedselvesagreatenergyforlookingback;for

regressing;forreturningtooldpatterns.Wereachaplaceinourliveswherenothingmuchishappening,orperhaps

thingsarehappening,whichmakesuspanic.Maybeitisaplaceofdarknessandunknowing,andourreactionistocastlingeringlooksbehindus;toturnbackintowhatweoncewereorreturntooldwaysandoldformulations.ButjustastherewasnoreturnforthoseleavingSodom,thereisnoreturnto

ourformerselvesforus.Howcouldtherebe?Wewouldreturnonlytoadriedouthuskandlivethereasastranger.

Wearebecoming;andthereisnoturningback.

AdviceWhenKidnapped

Sometimesithappens;sometimeswearedraggedfromourhomebyworry,rage,fear,depressionordesire.Wearegrabbedviolently,toldit’snotworthstruggling,druggedup,hauled

outside,drivenawaybeforebeingthrownoutofthevanandleftmilesfromhome,wanderingandlost.Whetherit’sbeenhours,days,weeksoryears,itisourbreathingthatcan

returnushome;fornokidnapcansurvivesustainedexposuretothepresent.

Andourbreathingknowsnootherplacetobe.

VirginsAgain

Thecallistobecomevirginsagain,whichislessfoolishthanitsounds.Likeastainedteacup,layeredwithresidue,wearestainedwithalienimages,

whicheachleavetheirmarkonourpsyche.Eachimageobscuresrealityinsomewayandpromptsustoreactinmechanicalfashion.‘Thatmaybetrue,’yousay.‘Buthowcanwepossiblybefreeofimages?The

worldisfullofthem;we’dhavetoleavetheworldtoescapetheirpresence!’Andthatisexactlywhatwedowhenwebecomepresent;weleavetheworld.

Imagesexistinourmemory,butthereisnomemoryinthepresentandsotherearenoimagesstakingtheirclaim.Inthislife,wecanneversayacompletegoodbyetoimages;welivewiththeir

presence.Butwecansaygoodbyetotheirpower,asinthepresentmoment,wearefreeandemptyandquiteunattached.

Inthepresent,wearevirginsagain.

MightyOaks

Itisasoberingthoughtthatlifedoesnotautomaticallyresultinself-development.Manypeopleimaginethat,astheygetolder,theydevelopbutthisisfarfrominevitable.Thepassageoftimedoesnotmakeforgrowth.Thinkofaseed.Likeus,aseedisgeneticallyprogrammedtogrowintoa

plant;butitwillstayaseedforamillionyearsunlessconditionsforgrowthareright.Theseediscrammedfullwithpotential;butitwon’tchangeuntilplacedinthesoilandfedwithfood,airandlight.Andsoitiswithhumans.Weareself-developingorganisms,butlifedoesnot

developusifit’snottherightsortoflife.Thehumanbeingisnomorethefinishedarticlethantheacorn.Inorderto

becomeanoaktree,theacornneedstobeplantedinsomethingotherthanitself,andwearethesame.

Presentawarenesswithacceptanceisgoodsoil.

NegativeCapability

TheEnglishRomanticpoetKeatscalledlivinginthepresentmoment‘negativecapability’,andbelieveditessentialinanywhowishedtobecreative.Hedescribednegativecapabilityasthestate‘ofbeinginuncertainties,

mysteries,doubtswithoutanyirritablereachingafterfactorreason’.Thisdefinitionbringsustothedoorstepofmindfulness.Keatsdescribesa

spacewithinhumans,whichisbeyondtraditionalcertaintiesandcanbeinhabitedwithoutpanic.Hereisaninnerspace,beyondorganizingwords,whichseeksadifferent

knowing,amoreimmediateunderstandingofhumanexperience.Afterall,anunderstandingacquiredatthehandsofothersisnounderstandingatall.Forthesakeofhisart,therefore,Keatswaswillingtoletgoofoneway,in

ordertofindanother.Andasourbreathingbringsusintothepresent,wheretherearenocertainties,wedothesame–anddiscoveradifferentsortofknowing,‘withoutanyirritablereachingafterfactorreason’.

StormySeas

Sadnessandangerarecloselyrelated.Bothareconcernedwithlossandlonging,pastandfuture.Theycome,whenallowed,withdevastatingpower.Itisgoodtoallowthem;butitisdangeroustobedrownedbythem.Likea

stormysea,theycanfrightenuswiththeirturbulentpowerandcrashingwaves.Ifyoufeardrowning,staywithyourbreathing,becausestrongerthantheloss

andlongingisthefragilenow.

Likealighthousealongtherockycoast,mindfulbreathingcanguideyoutoasafeharbourthroughthecrashingwaterandbatteringwinds.

AFive-YearPlan?

Everycompanyhasabusinessplan.‘Thisiswherewewanttobeinfiveyears’time,’theysay.Butwhat’sthatworthwhenthefuturedoesn’texist?Wecanspeculateaboutpossiblefuturescenarios.Butwecanneitherplanforthemallnorevenguessatthemall;formuchof

lifeappearsfromnowhere.Wecanrespondpresentlytoevents...butwecannotpredictthem.We’llbefine...aslongaswerememberplanscanbeheldnomorefirmlythan

smoke.Wecanpretendtoplan...andlaughalittleaswedo.Andperhapsoneday,acompanywillsay:

‘Wheredowewanttobeinfiveyears’time?Present,aswearenow.’

4

BECOMINGTRUST

Waystoacceptance,whenourtendencyisrejection.Trustmakesallthedifference.

TheSupermarketQueue

Mindfulnessstartsatthesupermarketcheckout,whereourqueueissuretobegoingslowerthantheonenexttous.Thisisgoodtraininggroundforsurrender;andsurrenderisbeststartedinsmallways.Oncewehavesurrenderedtothemomentinthecheckoutqueue,things

improve.Webegintonoticethosearoundus,whowerepreviouslyjustablurredbackgroundtoourirritation.Wealsonoticehowhappyweare,havingacceptedourcircumstances,andbroughtourselvesintotheawarepresent.Ourhappinessmaywellleadustoreachouttootherswithasmileorcheeryremark.

Andhere’sanotherbeneficialthingaboutmindfulness.Whenyourealizeyou’veforgottenthebeans,relationswiththosearoundyouaresogoodthatthepersonbehindishappytoholdyourplacewhileyounipbackandgetthem.

It’sallgoingverywell.

AStrangeSolidarity

Mindfulnessmeditationistheartoffearlessdetection;thecluesareinourpresentexperience.Perhapsyouwakeatnight,troubled.Ittakesyouamomenttorealizethat

unresolvedfeelingshavedisturbedyou.Becomingawareofthis,youfocusonyourbreathing,withanenquiringspirit.Whatishappeningnow?Howisthetroublerevealingitselfinmybodyandmind?Youmaybetemptedtoleavethesceneandescapetheinvestigation,byopting

forasecondarypursuit,liketurningonthetellyorreadingforawhile.If,however,you’reabletostaywiththefeeling,youcanuseyourbreathtobecomepresent.Itmaybethatyounowrecognizethesourceofthisinnerdisturbance;an

anger,perhaps,orsadnessorfear.Whateveritis,youaresimplybreathingwithwhatishappening,almostinsolidarity.

Youareallowingthefeelingandbreathingwithit.Ithasonlywokenyoubecauseitthoughtitwasn’tallowed…

APeaceofTruth

Mindfulnessisnotapeacecomprisedoflies;apeacethatsurvivesonlybecauseweturnawayfromunwantedenergiesinsideus.Rather,it’sapeacecomprisedoftruth,whichinvitesustoturnawayfromnothingandtoaccepteverything.SoIdon’tchaseawayunwelcomeenergieswhenIsensetheirpresenceinme.

Likeboredteenagers,chasingthemawayonlyexcitesthem.Andtheseenergiesbringbothamessagefromthepastandatruthaboutmypresent.Sowhetherit’shate,envy,rage,fearordespair,whateverformsthe

turbulencetakes,Idon’trejectbutaccept.AsIbreathein,Iacceptthedistortedenergy;andasIbreatheout,Iwishit

well.Breatheinacceptance,breatheoutgoodwishes.

Andlikeboredteenagers,onceaccepted,turbulencefindsnewwaysofbeing.

‘IDon’tJudgeOthers’

Awomancametoseeme.ShewascalledValerieandshetoldmethat,thoughshejudgedherself,shedidn’tjudgeothers.ThematterhadarisenbecausemyexperienceofValeriethatafternoonhad

beenoneofjudgement,repeatedandharsh.‘Ifeelyouarejudgingme,’Itoldher,‘andinattributingbadmotivestome,

youmakemefeeldevaluedasaperson.’‘Oh,I’mnotjudgingyou,’shereplied.‘IjudgemyselfbutIdon’tjudge

others.’

Whatwedotoourselves,however,wepassontoothers,assureassummerfollowsspring.MuchofValerie’ssufferingstemsfromherpresentinabilitytoacceptherselfassomeonewhojudgesothers.Refusingtoacknowledgethisperson,refusingtoacceptthem,shestrugglesonwithhercoverstory.

It’sagooddaywhenwe’recourageousenoughtoacceptourselvesaswetrulyare;itislikesunshineaftertherain.

WhenSelf-HelpBooksDon’tHelp

Readingtherestaurantmenuisnotthesameaseatingtheirfood.Andreadingself-helpbooksisnotthesameasawareness.Astaircaseexiststotakeyousomewhereelse.Andwhenyouarethere,you

don’tstayonthestairs,butstepoff.Theirtaskisdone.Andsoitiswithspiritualreading.Itonlyexiststotakeyoutoyourself.Andwhenthere,youputitasidetoengagewithwhateverisarisinginyou.Otherpeople’swordscanonlygetinthewaynow.

It’stimetoleavethestrangeronthestairs.

AnAngelIsNotEnough

Suddenlythereisanangelinherroom,butwhatwillbetheoutcome?NothingwascertaininthestoryofJesus’birth.Theappearanceoftheangel

GabrieltoMarymayhavefrightenedher,butitdidn’tsettleanything.Theycouldhavetalkedforhourswithoutanythingchanging.Indeed,weoftenusewordstodistractourselvesfromthepresent.NothingcouldhappenuntilMarygaveherconsent.Itwasonlywhenshegave

upherwillandleftherself,thatnewspacewascreatedwithinher:spacethatwasfilledwithnewlife,withJesus.‘Letitbetomeaccordingtoyourword,’shesaid,inanattitudeofacceptance

andabandonment.

Acceptingthatwhichis,andabandoningourwill,createsfertilespace.

TheIncidentwiththeTricycle

Henry,alittleboyinthenursery,wasridinghistricycle,whenthreeotherboysstoppedhim.Theyputtheirfeetonthewheel,andsaidtheywantedit.Henrywasupset,butdidn’tknowwhattodowithhisfeelings.Atthispoint,oneofthenurseryworkersintervened.SheaskedHenryifhe

wantedtosayanythingtothethreeboys.Hesaidhewasn’tsure,sothenurseryworkersaidshe’dstaytherewhilehetoldtheboyswhathefelt.Strengthenedbyherpresence,hesaid,‘Idon’tlikewhatyou’redoingtome.Itmakesmeunhappy.’Trustingthepresenceofthenurseryworker,Henrywasabletogivevoiceto

hisfeelingsinthemomentandresolvehisunhappiness.Withoutherhelp,hispresentfeelingswouldhavebeenburiedinanunmarkedgraveandrottedthere,unacknowledged.

Itishelpfultotakelessnoticeofouropinionsandmorenoticeofourfeelings;especiallytheoneswe’veburied,becausewedidn’tknowwhattodowith

them.

StreakofLight

Today,Isawthedawnbreakthroughagapinthecurtains.Theywereheavycurtains,coveringmostofthelargewindow,buttheydidn’tquitejoin;andthere,throughthegap,wasathinsliverofbrighteningskyandtheoutlineoftrees,clearsilhouettesagainstthestrengtheninglight.Icouldseeverylittle,forthegapinthecurtainswassmall;butIcouldsee

enoughtoknowthatdarknesswasdone.Today,whenwefindourselvesclosedinbylife,whenthecurtainsof

circumstanceseemheavy,trustthatanopeningremainsthroughwhichdaybreakshines–reassuringusthatalliswell.

TheGoldenThread

Whateverwedoforsomeone–evenifweweretodieathousandtimesforthem–wecannottaketheslightestpartoftheirdestinyonourselves.

We’dbestletthemtaketheircourse,justaswehavetakenours,tostandwherewearenow.

It’shardtoletothersbe;hardtoletgoofanother’sdestiny.Butthesamegoldenthread,whichdrawsyouonthroughathousandandoneexperiences,drawsthemonalso–throughathousandandonedifferentexperiences.

JumpingintotheSea

Everyonewantsawareness,while,atthesametime,wishingthathisorherlifeweredifferent.Unfortunately,thisislikewantingtokeepdrywhilejumpingintothesea.Awarenesscan’tariseifwearealwayssaying‘ifonly’;ifwearewishingour

experiencetobedifferentfromhowitisnow.Ifwesay‘Ifonlythiscouldhappen’,or‘Ifonlythatwerenotso’,we

momentarilyleavethepresentfortheknottedimaginingsofourself.Andhowcanawarenesspossiblyescapewhenboundbythesetangledcords?Weallwantawareness,whilewishingourlifewasdifferent,butthiscan’tbe.Ifweacceptourpresentexperience,andmakeourhomeinthemoment,then

weundotheknots,cuttheropesandbecomeawareness.

OntheOtherSideofAnxiety

Beyondanxietyistheacceptanceofanxiety,whichisthegreatergain.Let’swatchtheprocess.Wefeelafearorsenserisingpanicandacceptthearrivalofthis

uncomfortablereaction.It’saphysicalsignoflifethatwe’relearningtoacceptourbodyandmindastheyare,ratherthanhowwewantthemtobe.Weunderstandthatthatweonlydeepensufferingbytryingtoavoidit.Theappearanceofanxietyisasetback,yetfightingitisworse.Andsoitisthatbeyondanxietyisnottheabsenceofanxiety,butan

increasingcapacitytoacceptitasavisitor.Itisn’twhoyouare,thoughitlikestogiveyouthatimpression.Neitherdoes

itlivewithyou,soyoudon’thavetostrugglewithitinendlessdispute.Itisavisitor,alwaysavisitor,andwillleaveofitsownaccord,asonewhopassesthrough.

AstheSwedishsay,‘Thankyouforcoming,thankyouforgoing.’

NotWishing,butLiving

InHermannHesse’sbookSiddhartha,theleadcharacter,nowanoldman,reflectsonhislife.Overtheyears,hehasbeenmanythingsandfeelshehaswanderedoftenfromtherightpath.Aftermuchreflection,however,hecomestotheconclusionthatheneededto

fallshort;thatheneededhislust,vanity,materialismandterribledespair.Why?‘Inordertogiveupallresistance,’explainsSiddharta,‘inordertolearnhow

tolovetheworld,inordertostopcomparingittosomeworldIwished,Iimagined,somekindofperfectionIhadmadeup–

buttoleaveitasitisandtoloveitandtoenjoybeingapartofit.’

RevelationontheHill

Iwassittingonthebus,watchingasmallchildtryingtotalktohisfather.Theboywasfullofobservationsandquestions.Hisfatherwastryingtoreadhisbook,however,andonlygruntedreplies.Intheend,hisfrustrationatbeingdisturbedbythechildgotthebetterofhim:

‘Justgiveyourmoutharest,allright!’hebarked.Theboysatinsilence,likeaflowercutdown.Iwasangryattheman’streatmentofhisson,untilonreflection,Icouldsee

similartraitsinmyself.AndnowIwasjustsad–sadattheroutineandcommonplacemurderofhopeintheworld.Ibattledwiththisidea,asthebustrundledon,findingnopeaceuntil,onthe

browofthehill,Iacceptedthissadtruth.Insteadofthinkingrestlesslyaboutit,Ireceivedthepainfultruthinsideme.Oncedone,somethinginmewasabletorelaxand,forthefirsttime,I

experiencedthepossibilityofgoodoutcomes.Painchangesincolourandconsistencyonbeingaccepted.

Ismiledattheboyasheleft.Hesmiledbackandwavedhislittlehand.

‘IJustWanttoFeelBetter!’

‘Sowhatdoyouwanttodowithyourself?’asksthetherapist.‘Dowithmyself?Ijustwanttofeelbetter,’saystheyoungman.‘Maybe,’saysthetherapist,‘butthatisn’twhatIasked.’‘Look,Ijustwanttofeelbetter,allright?That’syourjob,isn’tit?Tomake

thathappen.’‘OK.Sotellme,whatrelationshipdoyouhavewithyourpain?’‘WhatrelationshipdoIhavewithmypain?Ihaven’tcomeheretotalkabout

pain!Iwanttotalkaboutgettingbetter.’‘Yes.AndIdon’tthinkIcanhelpyou.’‘Butyou’resupposedtohavecompassionforme!’‘Youneedcompassionforyourselffirst;compassionforyourpain-filledself.

Whileyouignorehimandrejecthim,there’snotmuchtobedone.’‘ButIjustwanttofeelbetter!’

Mindfulnessofferspresentandacceptingspace;notallareabletostepintoit.

DreamsofMoscow

IfIlongtobeinMoscow,thenIcan’tlivehappilyinNewYork.AnobsessionwithMoscowwillmeanthatIstruggletoexperienceNewYork,formuchofmeisn’tthere.It’salsotruethatawarenesscan’tariseinusifwewishourexperiencetobe

otherthanitis.Doesthismakesense?IfwearelivinginNewYork,butlongingtobeinMoscow,wearedistracted,

whichliterallymeans‘rippedapart’.Awarenessarisesasweallowourselvestobewhereweare,whoweareand

howweare–withacceptance.

Whoknows?ImaymovetoMoscowoneday–nextweek,nextyear?

Thisispossible.Butpresently,IacceptNewYork,whichisquiteperfectformenow.

GoodNews

Ireceivedsomeverygoodnewsthismorning.IdiscoveredthatI’mfullofspitetowardsvariouspeople.Wonderful!Itisnotthespitethatisthegoodnews,butthefactthatI’veallowedmyselfto

noticeit,insteadofdressingitupassomethingelse,likemoraloutrageorjustifiedcontempt.Idon’tacceptthatmyspiteishelpful;butIdoacceptthetruthofmyspiteful

state.ThisishowIamtoday.

Howareyoutoday?

AMindfulHabitat

IfSeththecameramanwantstogetaglimpseofthelittleknowngoldcrestedmarshwarblerhe’llneedtocreatetherightconditions.Thisiswhyheparkshiscarawayfromthesceneandensuresthatnoneofhis

noisycolleaguesarenearby;thenhestaysverystillinthelonggrass.Longexperienceteacheshimthatifthegoldcrestedmarshwarblerisatall

suspiciousorfearful,itwillneverappear.And,ofcourse,Sethisinterestedinthegoldcrestedmarshwarbleronly,andnotinotherbirdsthatmightappearsimilar.Likewise,ifwewanttogetaglimpseofourlittleknownfeelings,theright

conditionsareaspiritofacknowledgement;aspiritthatwon’tjudgeorrejectanyemotionsthatrevealthemselvestous.

Ifthegoldcrestedmarshwarblersensesdangerintheair,itneverappears.

‘Don’tPassMyGlasses’

Ifwe’regivenglassesinappropriateforoureyes,it’shardtosee.We’llhaveimpairedvisionandprobablydevelopaheadache.Inthisstate,we’llneitherviewtheworldclearlynorfeelwelldisposedtowardsit.Itisthesamewithdesire.Seeingtheworldthroughthelensofdesire,wemiss

agreatdeal.Wearesoabsorbedwithwhatwewantandwhat’sbestforourselvesthatweseelittleelse.Withtheviewclutteredbypersonalagendas,itislikelookingatabeautifulroomthroughadirtykeyhole.Inthisstate,weareconstantlyhurt,angeredordisappointedbyevents,which

don’tsuitus.Everythingfeelspersonal,likeanattackon‘me’.So,today,noticewhenyouweartheseglassesandremovethem.Whatwill

happen?Youwillseethewholeworldratherthanjustadistractedfraction.The

headacheofoffenceliftswonderfullywhenyoureleaseyourclaimsonthemomentandacceptwhatis,withoutpre-condition.

Thoseglassesneversuitedyouanyway.

NotMyWill

‘Lord,givemeonlywhatyouwill,andinthewaythatyouwill.’Thisishowyoushouldpray,saysMeisterEckhart,‘notwithmanyrequests

butwiththeattitudeofacceptance.’Hegoesontocomparethesetwoformsofprayer.Hesaysthelatter‘isasfar

abovetheformer,asheavenisaboveearth.Andjustastrueobedienceshouldhaveno“Iwantthis”init,neithershouldithave“Idon’twant,”either;for“Idon’twant”is“purepoisonforalltrueobedience”.’I’mnowremindedofJesusisintheGardenofGethsemane,shortlybeforehe

isarrestedandcrucified.Hesensesthatdeathawaitshimand,likemostpeople,hedoesn’twishtodie.

He’sawareofhowhefeels,awareofpresentexperience,butalsoaccepting:‘Notmywill,butYourwillbedone,’heprays.

Suchacceptanceisnotalwayseasy.WearetoldJesussweateddropsofbloodinGethsemane.

SecretsofSelf-healing

Whateverfeelingsemergefrommindfulbreathing,wewon’tstickajudgementonthem.Wemightfeelalone;wemightfeelexcited;wemightfeelguilty,mean-

spirited,murderouseven,orperhapsjoyful,envious,peaceful,angry,compassionateorsad.Whoknows?Whateverwefeel,itisgoodnews,becausethetruthisalwaysgoodnews

whenthealternativeispretence.Whatmattersisnotsomuchthefeelingitself,asthiswillpass,butthatwe

acknowledgethefeeling.

Thosewhoarecourageousenoughtoacknowledgewhattheyfeelbecomeself-healingorganisms.

WarmthonaColdWalk

Thewindwascoldtoday,andthoughdressedwithprotectinglayers,thechillchasedme,pushedme,penetratingtomyskin,asIhunchedmyshoulderstoproceedalongtheriverpath.

AndImighthaveturnedbackonmywalk,thiswasmythought,untilthesunsmiled,crackingtheclouds,allgoldenwarmth,holdingandsurprising;andshouldersnowun-hunchasIproceedalongtheriver.

Thesunamidstthecold,andthatmadeallthedifference.

AcceptanceQuestioned

Mindfulnessinvitesustoacceptourpresentsituation.Butwhatifoursituationiscrushingus?Howcanthehostagenotwishtobefreeortheprisonerreleased?ThemysticStJohnoftheCrosswroteofgreatthingsinprison,buthestill

tooktheopportunitytoescapewhenhecould.(Hetiedsheetstogetherandclimbedoutthewindow.)Sodoesacceptanceofoursituationforbidchangeinourlife?Isacceptancemerelyapolitewordfordepressedresignationathowthingsareforus?Isitjustanotherwayofsaying‘Getusedtoit,buddy’?Notatall.Acceptanceisnotopposedtochange;insteadacceptancebringsa

differentenergytothesituation.Acceptancetakestheheatofdesireoutofourfutureplanning;itreplaces

wantingwithamoreprimalenergycomprisedoftransformedattitudesandnewbeing;andinthefaceofthese,evenempirescancrumble.

Newbeingdoesn’tdesirechange;itischange.

TheAmbassador’sShoes

Thepalacewasinuproar,althoughmorewithlaughterthanrage.ThenewestambassadorhadjustpresentedhimselftotheQueenwearingfilthyshoes,cakedinthethickestchunksofmud!Akindpalaceofficialtookhimtooneside,andsaid,‘Yourshoes,Sir?’‘Whataboutmyshoes?’saidtheambassador.‘Theyareshinyandfine!’‘Youperhapshaven’tnoticedthatthey’recoveredinmud?’‘Mud?Mud?Iseenomud!Iseeonlymyreflectioninthepolishedsurfaceof

theshiniestshoesintheland!’

Wejustifyourselvesallthetime.Weimaginewearerightinourimaginarybattles.Thepresenthonestyofmindfulnesswilltakeusbeneaththeseassumptions.

Theofficialwhoraisedquestionsabouttheambassador’sshoeswashisfriend–albeitafriendindisguise.

5

BECOMINGIMPERMANENT

Waystoloosen,ratherthanstrengthenfalsesecurities.Wepersistwithsomeunfortunatefriendships.

OurThoughtsAreNotOurTruth

Thoughtsshootfromourmindslikebulletsfromagun–hard,shinyandlethal.Anditiscommonforpeopletoexpresstheirthoughtsasthoughtheyaresomehowtrue:‘It’sself-evidenttomethat…’Sometimes,Iquestionpeopleaboutthis:‘Youbestowgreathonouronyour

thoughtsandimaginethemverywise.Buthaveyounoticedhowdifferenttheyarewhenyourmoodchanges?Thisweekyouattackmewithyourthoughts,yetlastweekyouwerekindtomewithyourthoughtsandIhaven’tchanged.’Wewon’tworshipourthoughts,grantingthemgrandioseauthorityinthe

moment.Instead,we’llwatchthemcomeandgolikethemuddle-headedbusybodiestheyare,untileventuallywetireofthem.

Becausemuddle-headedbusybodiesareverytiring.

ReflectionsonaSmallFallofSnow

Athinquiltofsnowwasgentlylaidthismorning.Though,likethecream-fatnessofthepre-dawnmoon,itwillsoonbegoneandlaidelsewhere.

Forallischange,andallischange,andchangeisall,likesnowyfall.

Apartfromshift,adjustmentandimpermanentthings,forthesedon’tchange,andthesearealwaysours.

Sadlybriefimpermanence,tragicallydismantlingimpermanence,greenshootsofnewlifeimpermanence,leadingushomewithunchangingcare.

AnUnfortunateTrio

Buddhasawgreed,hatredanddelusionastherootcausesofhumanity’sproblems.Eachemotionisdestructivetorelationshipsindifferentways;andinways

youmightrecognize.Greedmovestowardrelationships;itrevealsitselfinclinginganxiouslyto,or

graspingat,establishedpatterns.Greedisfearthatchangewillleadtoisolationorabandonmentresultinginjealousyand,perhaps,aninabilitytotoleratesmalldisconnections.Hatredmovesagainstrelationships;itrevealsitselfincriticismandnegative

judgementsresultinginanger,blameand,possibly,violencewhenfrustrated.Hatredattemptstocontrolothersandmaintain,atallcosts,animaginedself-image.Delusionmovesawayfromrelationships;itrevealsitselfinintellectualization,

withdrawal,detachmentanddisassociation.Delusionresultsininappropriateindependenceanddenialinthefaceofvulnerabilityoryearningsforconnection.

Ifanyofthesebehavioursseemsparticularlyfamiliar,itishelpfultoloosenyourselffromit.

SurfingtheWaves

Aswesit,webecomeawareofthedifferentaspectsofourpresentexistence.Webecomeaware,forinstance,ofourbody,ourfeelingsandourperceptions.Perhapswealsodiscerntheintentionsanddispositions,whichcolourour

mindscape;andsometimes,emergingfromthismixedbag,thereisconsciousness.Wenoticehow,sometimes,alltheaspectscometogether.Perhaps,for

instance,wehavetoothacheandwenoticeitcausesdistressedorirritatedfeelings.Ourperceptionisthatthispainisnottemporaryand,feelingdistressed,anintentionemergestovisitthedentist.Suddenly,awareoftheseprocessesunfoldinginus,webecomeconscious.Whatisapparentfromthisexperienceishowquicklythesedifferentaspects

ofourexistenceriseupandpassaway.Likesurfersridingthewaves,wenoticehowwearepickedupandputdownbydifferentenergiesallthetime.

Whydoesthismatter?Suchawarenesswonderfullyunderminesanyattemptstomakesomethingsolidorpermanentoutofmypersonalidentity,outof‘me’.

CloudyVision

‘I’velearnedtodetachfrommythoughts,’saidayoungwoman.‘Iobservethemlikecloudsmovingacrossthesky.Sometimes,IreachoutandgrabatthemthenIrememberthey’rejustpassingandsoIletthemgo.Ifeelmuchbetterforlettinggoofmythoughtsbecausetheydrivememad.’Wheneverweidentifywithanunpleasantthoughtormood,weleaveourtrue

selves.Thesethoughtsandmoodsarenotwhoweare.Treatingourthoughtslikethecloudsinthesky,distant,passing,

insubstantial…

well,thisislikecominghome.

TheStickingPoint

Somestudentsthinktheteacherisbeingunreasonable.Heisholdingupastickinfrontofhisclass:‘Don’tsaytome“Thisisastick”,’hesays,‘anddon’tsaytome“Thisisnotastick”.Sotellme,whatisit?’Thestudentsarebaffledandwonderwhattosay.Theycan’tsayitisastickandtheycan’tsayitisn’t.Sojusthowdothey

reply?Ofcoursetheteacherisdemandingthattheyseebeyondthelabelswegiveto

thingsandthroughtotheessenceoftheobject.

Whileonawalkrecently,Iwasthinkingaboutthisincident.IhadbeenthrowingastickforaDalmatian,forwhomitwasawonderfultoy.Onreturninghome,thestickbecameamud-scraper,helpingmeremovetheclingingclayfrommyboots.Onceinside,myhostslitafireandthestickprovidedfuelforthefire,givingbothlightandwarmth.

Sowhatwasthisdearstick?AndwhatamI?

TheGarden

Nexttotheoldmonasterywallisagarden,lovedintobeautybythosewhocareforit.It’sanidyllicspotintheearlymorning,withdewonthelawnandbedsfilledwithflowers,theirpetalsfreshwithcolour.Butasthemonasterywallcarriesonround,thescenechanges.Beyondthe

gardenisawasteland.Herethewalllooksdownonlitter,emptycansofalcoholanddrifterswhofindrefugehere:ableakportinthestormoftheirlives.

Intime,thingschange.Afewlocalsbefriendthedriftersand,together,theybegintobringlifebacktothewasteland.It’samazinghowquicklyfriendshipandhardworkcanchangethecharacterofthespace.Intheidyllicgarden,thingsarechanging,too.Whenthegardenerleavesfor

familyreasons,thingsslipalittle.Thebedsarenotweededasbeforeandthelawn,inparticular,suffersfromamysteriousblight.Itisn’ttheidyllicgardenitoncewas.ThoughI’mtoldthere’sanewgardenercoming,whopromisestobringfresh

energytothegarden.Thestrangethingisthatheusedtobeoneofthedrifterswholivedonthewastelandnextdoor.

Howland,livesandseasonschange.

‘IsThereSufferinginParadise?’

Werunhardfromsuffering,althoughweneverquiteleaveitbehind;forlikethesunandtherain,allthingsneedeachother.Toimaginewecanhavehappinesswithoutsufferingislikewishingforalefthandwithoutarighthand.Sufferingalsobringsthegiftofcompassiontotheparty.InoticethatwhenI

amsad,IammorelikelytogivecharitytothehomelesspeoplethatIpassonthestreet.Mypaindrawsmetoothersthatareinpain;Ifeelatinypieceofwhattheyfeel.

ThichNhatHanhwrote:‘Paradiseisnotwhenthereisnosuffering;butwhereloveandcompassionexist.Whensufferingisthere,ithelpsgivebirthto

compassion.’

TheFruit

Thefruitofmindfulnessisawakening,astateinwhichgreed,hatredanddelusionareremoved.Howdoesanawakenedpersonlive?Theawakeneddon’tceasetobehuman.Theystillconstructtheirmoment-by-

momentexperienceusingtheirsensesandperceptions;andtheyknowbothpleasureandpain.Butthedifferenceisthis:theexperienceofpleasuredoesnotleadthemto

demandmorepleasure;andtheexperienceofpaindoesnotcreateinthemreactionsofaversionandresistance.Theawakenedhaveloosenedtheirbehaviourfromthemodeofself-interest.

Untiedfromthemselves,theybecomepeoplewithhandsthatarefreetorespondappropriatelytoeventsastheyarise,expressinggenerosity(whichistheoppositeofgreed),kindness(theoppositeofhate)andunderstanding(theoppositeofdelusion).

Becausetheawakeneddon’texist,theyexistevermorefreelyandevermorecreatively.Idescribeyourtrueself,ofcourse.

AFriendBearingGifts

Theworldinwhichweliveisaclosefriendthatbringsusgiftsand,witheachgift,thereisfreshdelight.Whatisthepresentgiftyouholdinyourhands?Perhaps,youareenjoyingthe

firstflushofromanticloveorhavebeengivenapromotionatworkorfeelingproudforovercominganobstacle.Andjustasgiftsarrive,theydepartalso.Howcoulditnotbeso?Nopleasure

orpossessionisourbirthrightandwecan’tpresumetoownaparticularpleasure,saying‘Atlast!Ihaveit!Nowitwillalwaysbeso!’Giftsarebutterflies,whichwereceivejoyfullyandthenjoyfullyrelease.

Whenwegripandclingontogiftstheymoulderandpeel,likeonce-brightpaintinadamphouse.

KnowingBetter

Knowledgeholdsusbackwhenwemakeittoopermanent.MeetabusinessmancalledMichael,whodoessomethingratherstrange.

Wheneverheattendsboardmeetings,hebringsPicklesalong.WhoisPickles?PicklesisalargeteddythatwasonceMichael’schildhoodfriend.Michaelsits

himonthetable,andtakeshimveryseriouslythroughoutthediscussions.AcolleagueasksMichaelwhyhebringsPicklestoeverything.Afterall,heis

now42yearsold,andasuccessfulentrepreneur.‘HowcouldIabandonhimnow?’saysMichael,amazedthatanyoneshould

evenaskthequestion.‘ButyouevenconsultwithPicklesbeforemakingadecision!’‘HegetsupsetifIdon’t,’saysMichaelrathertetchily.

Tolearnsomethingneweveryday,wemustletgoofsomethingoldeveryday.Thisishard;for,likeMichael,wearehoardersofoldperceptions.

BeyondThought

Oneofthereasonsweremainstupidisourpooreducation.Wehavebeeneducatedtothinkourwaytotruth,whichisnothelpful,

becausetruthcan’tbethought.Thisiswhymindfulnessdoesn’tengagewiththought;thereisnothingthere

forittorelateto.Thoughtmaybeginbyseeingbutresultsinslavery–enslavementtoconcepts,

whichhacktruthintothousandsofill-fittingpieces.Wepluckafewofthemfromtheairandimagineourselvesall-knowing.Whole-mindcan’tbefoundinthought,becausethoughtissplit-mind.Truth

existsinthespacesbetweenthought,whichiswherethepresenttakesus.

Truthcan’tbecommunicated;itjustbecomesapparent.

God?Buddha?Penelope?

Somepeoplepursueanameforthemselvesthatwillliveonforever.Othersclingontonameswithspecialmeaning:‘Ahh!Thatnameisaboveallnames!’theysay.Butwe’llbewaryofgettingcaughtupwithnames,whethertheyare‘God’,

‘Buddha’,‘London’or‘Penelope’,becauseasLao-Tsusaid,‘Thenamethatcanbenamedisnotthetruename.’What,forinstance,doesthename‘Atlantic’tellusabouttheocean?Nothing.

Sothenweinventthings,whichweattachtothename;youinventyourthingsandIinventmineandthenwekilleachotheroverit.

Namesgiveonlytheimpressionofknowing.Icanspell‘Atlantic’butI’veneverswuminit,sowhatdoIknow?

ExposingtheToughGuy

Itissometimessaidthatwedon’tpossessanegobutarepossessedbytheideaofhavingone.Ifindthisahelpfulwindowontotruth,becauseitfurtherdiminishesthetough-guyreputationofourfalsepersonality,whichturnsouttobenothingmorethananidea.Peopleoftentellmethattheyarebattlingwiththeiregos,asifit’sallrather

personal.Butitisn’tpersonal.They’rejustnoticingthedeaththroesofanideathey

onceneeded,butdon’tneedanylonger.

Nowtheroleofyouregoissimilartotheroleofleechesinmedicine;notwhatitwas.

SadirIsNotSadir

Sadircametoseeme.Shehadrecentlyattendedaretreatwhereshe’dexperiencedglimpsesofa

freedomandjoypreviouslyunknown,thoughshehadn’texperiencedthemsincereturning.‘I’mnotbeingthepersonIcouldbe!’shesaysinfrustration.‘Can

mindfulnesshelp?’‘Mindfulnessworkbeginswiththeuncriticalobservationofthepersonyou

imagineyourselftobe,’Isay.‘Idon’tneedtoimagine,’saysSadir.‘IknowexactlywhoIam!’‘Ifyoubelieveyou’redefinitelySadir,’Isay,‘andthatSadirisdefinitelyyou,

thenyouknownothing;you’reasleep.’

Sadirisunhappybecauseshe’sfake.Sittingbeforemeisanimaginedself,aninventedperson;andwhatisnotrealcanonlyattractfakethoughtsandfeelings.ThegoodnewsisthatsomethinginSadiristryingtowakeher.Shehas

sensedthatrealityisnotthesameasherthoughts,andthisisalife-changingdiscovery.

‘I’mnotthepersonIcouldbe!’shesayswithfrustration;andthesearethefirststirringsofasleepingchild.

TheCyclePath

Onthepathtoawakening,thepathoutofsleep,ourdayisacycle.Itisacycleoflostandfound,lostandfound;acycleofdyingandrising,dyingandrising;acycleofdrowninganddryland,drowninganddryland.

Wewillloseourselvessometimes.We’llgetcaughtbyathought,whichbecomesafeelingthatbecomesamood.Inthisstate,wearestrangerstoeverythingexceptourobsession.

Hereisourdying,whichwhennoticed,becomesourrising.

Theawakenedarethoseforwhomdyingandrisingarenotsomuchwordsinacreed–

butdailyexperienceofwhichtheyareaware.

TheBreakwater

Likeaseasidetownfloodedbyastorm-tossedsea,sowecanbeovercomebycircumstances.Ithappensindifferentways.Circumstancescancreepuponusslowlyand

unnoticed;orhitussuddenlyandsavagelywithoutwarning.Weneedtodevelopbreakwatersagainstthesurgesofcircumstanceand,

perhapsintime,awall.Withoutthesedefences,weareconstantlyflooded,aslifecrashesthroughusandoverus.

Eachmomentofmindfulnessbuildsalittlemoreofthebreakwater.Aswereturntoourbreathingthroughouttheday,theimpactofthesewavesis

diminishedandtheirimpermanenceexposed.

There’saHoleinMyBucket

Weneedamindlikeabucketofwaterwithholesinit:alwaysemptying,notholding;alwaysreturningtoemptinessandtovoid.

Nirvanadescribestheultimatelossofallnotions:anabsenceofnotions.Thisisnotournormalstatebutitisournaturalstate.Withamindlikealeakingbucket,wegraduallybreakattachmentstothe

worldweinhabit.

Andfindourselvesfreetoloveit.

ThoughtsonHappiness

Everyonewantstobehappybutournotionsofhappinessdon’talwayshelpus.When,forinstance,Iwriteoutalistofthingsthatwouldmakemehappy,I

immediatelyfeelexposed,asIseebeforemeahouseofcards,whichanygustofwindcoulddestroy.IsayIneedthisorthattobehappyandfindmyselfbecomingworriedevenas

Iwrite.IwonderifIshalleverobtainthesedesiredthingsandcontemplatethedespairifIdon’t.Yes,IamwritingoutmyhappinesslistandbecomingunhappyasIdoit,

whichisn’ttheideaatall!Thismakesmewonderifmynotionsofhappinessarenothelpingme.

What’sonyourhappinesslist?Andhowdoesitmakeyoufeel?

MountainousJohn

Johnwasananxiousman,whodidn’tbelievehecouldcopewithlifeinitspresentform.Eventshadtakenadownwardturnforhimand,tocopewithhisanxiety,hehadtriedmedicationbutithadn’thelpedhim.Hewasagreatloverofnature,however,andsowhensomeonesuggestedthat

hecontemplatedamountain,hewaspleasedtodoso.Bringingthemountainintohisconsciousnessfor15minuteseachday,hisanxietydissipatedandwasreplacedbystrengthandafeelingofinnersolidity.‘I’vealwayslovedmountains,’hesaidinhissoftIrishaccent.‘ButIdidn’t

realizeIwasamountain!’

Theworldisone,andweareonewithit,andsowehavemorefriendsthanweknowandmorestrengththanweimagine.

AloysiaandtheDoor

It’snothardtofeelhersenseofabandonment.Aloysiahasjustlostherboyfriend,whowalkedoutonherwithoutwarning.

Sheisalsoinaforeigncountry,becauselongagoshefeltitnecessarytotakeleaveofherparents.Herfirstreactiontothisabandonmentistoexpendenergyfightingoffhertrue

feelings,inordertodefendherself.Itisanexhaustingfightandtakeshernowhere.Afterafewdays,shebecomesawareofthisreaction;andsherealizesit’s

beenherdefaultpositioneversinceshewasasmallgirl.Shehasneverallowedherselftofeeleitherangryorsad.Whatwillhappenifsheallowsherselfangerorsadness?Shedoesn’tknow.

It’sasifshe’sreachedadoorbutit’sshut;ithasbeenclosedallherlifeandshehasnoideawhatliesbeyond.Shemustnowdecideifshewishestoopenthedoor.Here,amidstthepain,isawarenessofherpresentexperience;awarenessof

herrejectedfeelings.

Ifshecanfindtrustandacceptanceofherstate,thedoorwillopenbyitselfandrevealallthatisnecessary.

6

BECOMINGNOTHING

Waystoallowspacewhenourtendencyistofillspace.Clutterisahealthrisk.

WhentheStadiumClears

Aswefocusonourbreathing,it’slikewatchingastadiumclearafteramusicgigorafootballmatch.Aswebreathe,inandout,webecomeawareofacrowdofemotions,thoughts

andmoodsdemandingattention;firstone,thenanother.Hereisresentment,thereisenvy,followedbyaplanforlaterandthenamemoryofwordsspokenyesterday.Whatacrowd!Aswefocusonourbreathing,werealizewhatamobofuncheckedreactions

arebusywithinus,andwecan’tsimplystopthemwithawordofcommand.Wecanremainunattachedtothem,however,merelybyobservingthemas

theypassthrough.Andwhenwedon’tfollowthem;whenwedon’trunafterthemandleaplonginglyintotheirarms;wefindthattheyloseheartandgiveup.

Thenit’slikewatchingastadiumempty,untilthereisnothing,untilwebecomenothing.

OnthePlainsofNothing

Weallhavesecretideasofourvalue.Wehavedaydreamsandfantasiesabouthowwe’dliketobeperceived;aboutwhoweare;aboutwhatisoursbyright;andwhatwillmakeushappy.Thesesecretideaspervadeeverymomentofourdayandeveryrelationship.Inthisway,ourimaginaryselfdrivesandshapesourlife.Weattachhappiness

toimages,whichgripuslikeringsofsteel.Thisiswhywemustleavethecityofimagination,wheresuchthingsthrive,andtraveltotheplainsofnothing.Asyouleavethecityofimagination,thefantasyoutfityouarewearingbegins

tofallfromyourbody:firstashoe,thenacoat,thenaring,andsoon,untilyouarenakedintheplainsofnothing.But,strangely,youarelaughingfor,althoughyoufearedbeingnakedabove

allthings,youhaveneverfeltbetterclothed.

Thepathtoyourtrueselfdoesnotrunthroughthecityofimagination.

CapacityforLife

Itisastrangethingthatasweemptyourselves,webecomemoresolidpeople.Wesometimessayso-and-soisa‘bigpersonality’.Bythis,wemeanthathis

rageorherambitionorhisneedforattentionorheropinionsspilleverywhere,fillingthespacewithinthemandwithout.Thesearenotsolidpeople,however,becausethereisnospacethere;and

innerspacedeterminesourcapacityforlife.Ifourspaceisfilledbyrageorambition,byourneedforattentionorour

opinions,thereisnocapacityinusforfreshcreationornewness.Webecomelikeanewspaperthatprintsthesamestoriesdayafterday–stale,withnocapacityforanythingbutsomedistantyesterday.

Aswebreatheinspace,andbreatheoutallelse,webreatheinpresentstrengthandbecomesolidpeoplewithcapacityforlivingtoday.

If

Here’sasuggestion:insteadoftakingyourselfseriously,takeyourabsenceofselfseriously.

Ifyoutakeyourselfseriously,lifewillbebothstressfulanddisappointing,chargedwithgreed,hatredanddelusion–forsuchthingsarethesubstanceofself.

If,ontheotherhand,youtakeyourabsenceofselfseriously,thenyouwillholdlifemorelightly,touchlifemorejoyfully,andrespondtoitwithmorefreedomandspontaneity.

If.

Greatness

Itwasanoddexchange,butmaybeatellingone.Theconversationtookplacebetweenaman,whosatnakedinhistubandhadnothing,andAlexandertheGreat,whoatthattimeruledtheworldandhadeverything.‘Iamgreaterthanyouare,’saidthenakedmaninthetub.‘Andwhyisthat?’saidAlexander.‘Ihavespurnedmorethanyouhaveseized.Whatyouthinkisagreatthingto

possessistootrivialformetoscorn!’

Thenakedman’spointwasthatthosewhocanhappilygowithoutthings,anddon’trequirethem,arehappierthanthosewhoneedtopossessthem.Asourneedyselfbeginstoloseitsgripinourlives,sodoestheneedto

possess.Thepassiontopossessarisesfrommyself’sneedforcomfortand

reassurance.

Butwhatifmyselfdoesn’texist?

TheSpaceMan

Whenthespacemanarrivedinthebusycity,therewereproblems.Hewasastrongman,andneededtobe,ashedraggedthiswonderfulspace

fromtowntotownacrosstheland.Helikedtoofferittothebusiestplaces,knowingiftheylackedspacethattheywouldalsolacktenderness.ButthespacemanwashavingtroubletodaybecausetheMayorsaidthespace

wastoolargetogetintothecity.‘Itjustwon’tfit,’saidthemayor,scratchinghishead.‘Thestreetsaretoonarrowandtherearetoomanycarsandpeoplegoing

abouttheirbusiness.Icanhardlystopallthisactivityjustforabitofspace.Howaboutmakingitsmaller?’‘Youcan’tmakespacesmaller,’saidthespaceman,‘it’seternal.’‘Butwe’vegotthingstodoandlivestolead!’saidtheMayor.‘Withoutspace,there’snotenderness;andwithouttenderness,there’snolife,’

saidthespaceman.

‘Nextyear,perhaps,’saidthemayor.‘Thisyear’sawrite-off,butwe’lltryandhavesomespacenextyear.’

WherethePathDivides

Mindfulnessisnotconcernedwithyourpast.Inmosttherapeuticpractice,thepersonalnarrativeoftheindividualisgiven

considerableweight.Theclientisencouragedtotelltheirstoryandtoreflectonthemeaningtheygivetothings.Thetherapistmightthenencouragethemtolookagainatthenarrative,andfindnewmeaninginthematerial.Orperhapsexplanationspreviouslyunnoticedwillemerge,helpingtoexplaincurrentdifficulties.Thisisnotthewayofmindfulness,however.Indeed,mindfulnesstakesus

awayfromsuchpractice;awayfromdiscussionsaboutourpastorourfuture.Instead,mindfulnessseeksatransformationthatismoreprimalandbeyond

words.Itdoesn’taskustostirthepotofthepastbut,rather,tolookthroughitandtouchtheplacebeyond,whichisnow.

Mindfulnessisthequestnotforabetterself;itisthequestfornoself.

GoodCompany

Itiswonderfultobewithpeoplewhopractisemindfulnesstruthfully.Oneofthereasonstheyaresuchgoodcompanyisthespacetheybringtothe

party.Theypossessaninnerspace,whichcanreceiveandholdallthingsoffered,whichmakesthemagraciousandhealingpresence.Thisspaceisnotpresentinallpeople.Sometimes,forinstance,weraisean

issuewithafriend,butfindourselvespushedaway.Insteadofspace,weexperienceawallofresistance–suggestingtheissueistouchingsomethingunresolvedwithinthem.Ourfriendmightreactangrily,coldlyorcriticallytowardsus;orperhaps

we’rejustignored.Howeverweexperienceit,thislackofspaceinourfriendisnotagoodexperience.

Mindfulnesspracticeworkstoenlargeourinnerspace;the‘nothing’outofwhichallthingsarise.Weholdthisspaceinourfluidlivesandthentakeitwithus,graciously,intotheworld.

Holdontoyourinnerspace,itismorevaluablethanwordscantell.

AGlimpseofLight

Elainewentonaweekendretreattoreflectonherlife,whichhadnotturnedoutasshe’dhoped.Herhusbandhadlefther,andtheirdaughterwouldsoonbegoingtocollege,

leavingheralone.Withoutfinancialsupport,Elainewasfacinghavingtosellherhomeof20yearsanddownsize,andasmallerhousemeantlosingmanyofherpossessions.Andifsheweretoreturntoworkafterallthistime,whatwouldshedo?

Itwaswiththesethoughtsandfearsthatsheleftonretreat,butthenenjoyedthemostwonderfulSunday.Nothinginparticularhappened;itwasjustthatfromsunrisetosunset,shefoundpeaceinthelightclearspaceofhersurroundings.Thegroundwasfrostedandtheskywasblue,whichappearedtomakeitlimitlessinitscapacitytohold.Theseexternalcircumstancesbecamemirroredwithinher,assheexperienced

clearspace,untroubledbyconcerns.Itwasremarkablehowabsenttheywere.

ThoughthedayIsawher,itwascloudy;shewasfeelingtrappedbythecloudandsowereherworries.

TheForbiddenWord

InthecourtofKingSeed,inthecountryofSeedland,everyoneknewtheforbiddenword.Theyknewit,becausetheKingexecutedanyonewhodaredsayit.Hewasabravekinginmanywaysbut,forsomereason,thisparticularword

madehimtremble.Sonooneatcourtspokeit;andKingSeedruledhisundergroundkingdomasbesthecould.Untilthedaythatoneofthemaidsusedthewordinhishearing.Shehadn’t

meantto;butsomeonehadaskedhertheoppositeofthewordpermanenceand,withoutthinking,she’dshoutedout,‘Impermanence,silly!’‘Whosaidthat?’shoutedKingSeed.‘Whosaidimpermanence?’Butbeforehecouldexecutethegirl–indeed,beforehecouldsayanything

elseatall–hissmall,shinyandhardbodybegantocrack,fragmentandtransform,whileeveryonewatchedinamazement.

Somepeoplethinkthattalkofimpermanenceisdepressing.NoonethinksthisinSeedland,whereKingSeedisnowknownas‘theGreatOakTreeofthe

LandBeyond’.

TheWisdomofPaint

Artistsknowthiswell.Theystartwiththeintention,thatwhichtheywishtopaint.Butembarkingontheproject,theysoonexperienceresistance:thematerials

don’tallowthemtodowhattheywished,andtheiroriginalintentionprovesunworkable.Outofthiscrisiscomesreconciliation.Hereisareturntothespiritofthe

intention,butwiththehindsightofexperiencesomethingnewemerges:apreviouslyundreamedcreation.Likeartists,wesetoutonlifewithintentions,onlytolosemanyofthem

alongtheway.Duetoresistance,inothersorourselves,theseintentionsdon’torcan’tsurvive.Whatthen?Therearetwooptions:wecanchooseshame,whichlikedrippingacidtakes

upresidenceandquietlypoisonsallthings.Ordaily,wecancreatefreshspaceinsideus:anothingnessinwhichourintentionsandrealitycanbereconciled.

Outoffreshspaceanundreamedmasterpiececanemerge.

ThePracticeofSpace

Thereisanimportantmomentintheday,andletitbeearly.ItisasacredmomentwhenIremembermyself,gathermyself;Ifeelmypresentbreathingandthecleanandclearspacethatisme.Whydoesthispracticematter?Ithelpsmeresistthesubtleapproachesof

mechanicallife,whichdailythreatenstoensnareme;thelifeofautomaticallyreactingtoeventsandpeople,whichdeprivesmeofcompassionandspontaneity.Thesacredmomentcreatesasacredspace.It’ssacredbecauseitisfreefromthemadnessofexpectationandattachment

andisthereforeaspaceinwhichIamtrulymyself.

Asthedayproceeds,thisspacemaybelostasIdriftintothenetherworldofautomaticreaction.Butsoonerorlater,withawhisperorawallop,thespacewillwakemeup.Aswepractisereturningtothisspace,webecomelessmechanicalandmore

human–

whichisdelightfulbothfortheworldandme.

SpiritualHell

Nooneisfondofpeoplewholovetheexternaltrappingsofthespirituallife,withoutdisplayingtheinnerreality.ThePhariseeswerefamousforwantingtoappearthemostholybutthey

didn’timpressJesusandhecalledthem‘white-washedtombs’.ThemysticMeisterEckhartwasequallyrudeaboutsuchhypocrisy.Speaking

ofmonks,whoseegosfoundgreatpleasureintheexcessivedemandsofpenanceandexternaldevotion,hesaid,‘Thesepeoplearecalledholybecauseofwhattheyareseentodo,butinsidetheyareasses!Fortheydon’tknowtherealmeaningofthedivinetruth.’Andinourgeneration,theburgeoningpopularityoftheself-helpmovement

hascreatedfreshpossibilitiesfortheego.Inholier-than-thouzeal,peopledistractthemselveswithlife-changingbooksandlife-changingconferences,onlytoremainthesame.Theegothrives,wheneverwestrive.Ifwedesperatelydesirethis,or

passionatelydesirethat,thenouregowillbeinseventhheaven.

Willnothing.Desirenothing.Leavenothingforyouregotoworkon.

TheDangerofOldMaths

Sometimesourmathscanmakeusunhappy.Ouremotionalstateisthesumoftwothings:anexternaleventandaninternal

feelingaboutourpast.Surprised?You’llnoticeIdon’tsay‘aninternalfeelingabouttheevent’,butaninternal

feelingaboutourpast.Youknowthisfromthewaypeoplebehave.It’snottheeventitselfthatmatters.Foroneperson,conflictisaterribleexperience;foranother,itisbarely

noticed.Some,howeverrich,willspendtheirwholelifefearingbeingpoorwhile

others,howeverpoor,willneverworryaboutmoney.Foroneperson,theopinionofothersiscrucial;foranother,itislessso.Whatdowelearnfromthesethings?Welearnthatcurrenteventsarenot

experiencedpurely,butwithattitudesfromthepast.Ifwe’rewise,therefore,wedon’ttakeourreactionstooseriously,butbegintoloosenourselvesfromtheeffectsofoldfeelings.

Thisistheonlymathsthataddsup.

QuieteningtheScream

TheloudestscreamintheWestisthescreamforselfesteem.AmidsttherampantindividualismofWesternsociety,hugepressureisplaced

oneachpersontobesomething.Wearenotpeoplewhoseidentityissafelyheldaspartofacommunity.Rather,wearethosewhomustdoitforourselves;beitforourselves.Theemergenceofourcelebritycultureisjustasmallpartofthisillness;

narcissismiswrittendeepintoeverylayerofoursocialenvironment.Wearehappywhensomethingorsomeonemakesusfeelgoodaboutourselves;weareunhappywhenthisisnotthecase.Mindfulnesspracticeisconcernedwithfreeingusfromthistreadmill.Rather

thanaffirmingyourself,whichwillalwaysfindnewwaystobeunhappy,itseeksrathertoilluminatetheself’slackofsubstance;itsghost-likequalities.

Oncewe’reinthehills,beyondthebattleforselfesteem,ourscreamingquietens.

OntheOtherSideofDepression

Thereisaheavinessaboutdepressionthatneedslightening;afogthatneedsclearing;asurlinessthatneedsdissolving;adespairthatneedslifting;anangerthatneedsmelting;aslothfulnessthatneedsenlivening;andadelightthatneedsfinding.Theoppositeofdepressionisnothappiness;itisvitality.

TheRealMagic

Weapplaudwhenthemagicianmakesarabbitdisappear;butletussavetheheartiestapplauseforwhenwedisappear.Why?Let’sgobackstageandconsiderhowyouweremade.Thebirthofyourself,asyouknowit,wasnotahappyone.Yourselfwasnot

madefromloveorcarebutfromyourmindgrabbingatperceptionsfrom‘theuntrammelledflowofphenomena’aroundyou.Thiscollectionofperceptionsaboutourself,wecall‘me’.Andherebeginsaviciouscircle:yourrandomperceptionsbecomeyourself;

andyourself,theguardianoftheseperceptions,generatesthoughts.Thesethoughtscongealintobeliefs,whichtheninfluenceyourperceptions.Agghh!

It’snotaprettypictureand‘Letmeoutofhere!’isanaturalresponsetothisclaustrophobiccreation.Soapplaudthemagicianwhentherabbitdisappears;butsaveyourheartiest

applauseforwhenyoudisappear.

Justlikethat!Orhoweverlongittakes…

TheGoalIsNoGoal

Thehappypersonseeksnoparticularoutcomefromwhattheydo;onlytheunhappydothis.Andthey’reunhappybecausetheyinsistonoutcomesthatrarelyoccur.Anactundertakenwithaparticularendorgoalinmindisanactofmisery;it

isamercenaryintheworld,paidbydesireandself-loveandwithnoheartofitsown.Alternatively,wecanintendnothingbyouracts.Wecanshunagendasand

paynoheedtoapplauseorreward.Peelawaytheclingingivyofdesireandletyouractionsgofreeintheworld,

andyouwillfindthattheyarenotmercenariesatallbuthavethefreshnessofmorningdewandleadtoendlesspossibilities.

Whennothingisthegoal,itispossibleouractsbecomesomething,becausetheyemergepureintheworld.

TheNamelessOnes

ThestationmasterwascalledRalph,andprovedveryhelpful,tellingmethetraininformationIneeded.Ispottedhimeasily;hisuniformrevealedhisidentityasanemployeeofthetraincompany.Ofcourse,that’snotRalph’sonlyidentity.Likeallofus,hehasmany

identities.Perhapsheisafatherandastampcollectorandakeenfolloweroficedancing.Heisprobablyasonandmaybeabrother.Hecouldbeaschoolgovernororasupporterofafootballclub.PerhapsheisWelsh,playsinabandandisafriendtosomeone.Perhapsheisamanwhogivesmoneytopeopleonthestreet.Somanyidentitiesbeyondhisstationuniform!ThatjusthappenstobehowI

meethimandhowheishelpfultometoday.Andbeyondtheseidentities,Ralphhasnoidentitybecausespacecan’tbe

named.Youcan’tpinalabelonspace,forthereisnothingtoholdthepin.Webecomethingsforpeople,asRalphdidforme;butwedon’tbecomewhattheywantustobe.Thisiswhyeachday,whateveruniformwewearorroleweplay,westartas

thenamelessone.

Purespace.

Acceptance

Apersonwhohasstrongdislikes,andjustifiesthem–thispersondoesnotrealizetheirownnothingness.Theyaretakingtheirpersonalitytooseriouslygiventhatitsadviceisalways

unhelpful.Itisgoodtoworkondislikesbutfirstweallowthemtobecomeapparent;

first,weobservethemwithacceptance.

LightinaDarkFuture

Knowingthingsishighlyvaluedinsociety.Butwe’reneverbetterplacedthanwhenwe’reunknowing,andsowecanallowourselvestobethere.Unknowingisnotapopulardestination.Sometimespeoplesay,‘Iamquitein

thedarkaboutmyfuture!’Or,‘Idon’tknowwhatwillhappen!’Thesearenothappystatementsandarisefromfearofunknowing.

Unknowingneedn’tbefeared,however,forhereisastateofreceptivity;aplaceofemptiness,whichhasthepotentialforfilling.Ahandholdingonethingcan’treceiveanotherand,equally,aplacealreadyfullcan’tbefilledagain.Soalthoughknowingishighlyvaluedinsociety,we’reneverbetterplaced

thanwhenwe’reunknowing.

Relaxnowandallowyourselfthere.

AllergicReactions

Iamallergictolargewordslike‘Buddha’,‘God’and‘Love’.Theybringmeoutinarash;makemefeelnauseous.Theyarethepegsonwhichwehangourhypocrisy,possessiveness,insecure

arroganceandpomposity.Ifyoumentionthesewords,Imayhavetoleavetheroomindisgustandto

savemyselffromgoingmad.

Instead,let’stalkaboutrealthings,likeyourwalktoworkoryourchoiceofpictureinthefrontroom.

WhyThoseWhoSearchFindNothing

Wemustbecarefulthatoursearchingdoesnotstopusfinding.Searchingmeanshavingagoal,whichcanmakeusblindtoeverythingelse.TherewasonceamancalledCarltonwhowantedtoberich;thiswashis

passionandhisgoal.Oneday,hegoesoutforawalklongingtodiscoverwaystobewealthy.Bythesideoftheroadisabeggar,whoisgivingawaylargegoldcoins,but

Carltonwalksstraightpasthim.IfCarltontookthecoinshe’dbeinstantlyrichbuthedoesn’tseethebeggar,eventhoughhewalkswithininchesofhisnose.Whydoesn’theseehim?Theanswerissimple:ifyourgoalistoberich,you

don’tpayattentiontobeggars.Whywouldyou?Whathavetheygottodowithyoursearch?Thisiswhywearecarefulthatoursearchingdoesnotstopusfinding.

Carltonwouldhavebenefitedfromsearchinglessandnoticingmore.

7

BECOMINGONE

Waystowardsunionwhenourtendencyisseparation.Itisaboutdismantlingwalls.

OnenessinaDualWorld

AttheheartofBuddhistteachingisnon-dualityortheonenessofexistence.TheEnglishpoetJohnDonneputitanotherway:‘Nomanisanislandentire

ofitself,’hewrote,‘everymanisapieceofthecontinent;apartofthemain.’Inadualworld,thingsareseparatedbylabelsandsetagainsteachother:good

againstbad,youagainstme,myideasagainstyourideas,managainstwoman,thiscountryagainstthatcountryandsoon.Youarefamiliarwiththeoutcomes.Inanon-dualworld,inaworldthatisone,thingscan’tbesetagainsteach

other.Ican’tbeagainstyoubecauseIamyou.InDonne’sday,thetollingofthevillagebellindicatedadeathandpeople

weresenttofindoutthenameofthedeceased,tofindoutforwhomthebelltolled.Butashecontinuedinhisfamousmeditation,thereisabiggertruthhere:‘Eachman’sdeathdiminishesme,ForIaminvolvedwithmankind.Therefore,sendnottoknowForwhomthebelltolls,Ittollsforthee.’

TheEternalExchange

Haveyoueverfeltyourselfgettingsmaller?Whenwemeetapersonwhohassmallnessofunderstanding,wetoocan

becomesmall.Howevermuchwetrynottobe,wearedrawnintotheirsmallness.Whenwemeetaperson,however,inwhomthereislargenessof

understandingthenwetoobecomelarge.Wearereceivedbytheirlargeness,whichthenbecomesours.Sowe’llbeawareofthosepeoplethatfillourdays;forinspiritualterms,one

thingisalwaysinanother.Youareinyourboss,yourdog,yourchild,yournewsagent–andtheyareinyou.Smallnessinanotherbringsoutthesmallnessinme,whilelargenessin

anotherbringsoutthelargenessinme.Thatwhichreceivesisthesameasthatwhichisgiven,foritreceivesnothing

otherthanitself–inaneternalexchangeofbeing.

MyWalktotheShops

Isetoutonawalktotheshops,hopingtheworldwillbekind.ForthefirstfiftyyardsIamnothelpedbymyattitude,whichseeseverything

andeveryoneasseparatefromme.Thepeopleareseparate,thetreesareseparateandthecloudsareseparate.Oncenoticed,thissenseofseparationdissolves.Allaspectsofmy

environmentaremeandIamthem.Ifeelastrongsenseofblessinginthissharedexistenceandaninneralterationthatbringsasmiletomyface.SomethingseemedveryimportantwhenIlefthome,butIcan’trememberwhatitwasnow.

Italktoawomanonthecorner.Aftersomepleasantconversation,Inoticeanirritatedreactionarisinginme.Iallowittopassthroughbeforeitbecomesselfjustification,whichisnevergoodnews.

Inallthis,Iamhelpedbytheendlessshiftandchangeoftheclouds,astheyformandreform,highinthesky.

PondLife

Iamremindedofmyselftoday,whilelookinginalargefishpond.Herearemanyfish,allshapesandsizes,dartingthiswayandthatina

colourful,livelyandunpredictabledisplay.Fromadistance,thepondlookedcalmandsettled;butcloseup,Iseeonly

movementandchange.Hereisconstantprocesswithnothingfixedbutthepondwalls;andhereIseemyself.

Wearemorestatethantrait,astheysay.Wechangeconstantlyinrelationtoourcircumstances,asourcircumstanceschangeinrelationtous.Howevermanytimesapersoncomestoseeme,Ihavenevermetthesamepersontwice.Andsuchfluidityofbeingbodeswellforhappiness.Ourdissolvingsenseofa

selfdiminishesourcapacityforoffence;forthere’smuchlessofustobeoffended.Whenourselfdissolves,ourpainfulstruggleforselfaggrandizementalso

losesforce;forwhichselfareweaggrandizing?

Thefishpondonlylooksstaticfromadistance;andweonlylookstatictoafool.

ABigStep

It’slikesteppingfromtheEarthtothemoon.It’sabigstep.I’mtalkingofthemomentinourliveswhenwecanacceptthedifficultbitsof

ourselves.Wecanembracethehappybitseasilyenough;butcanwebekindtoourmore

discomfortingandnegativereality?It’sgoodifwecan…becauseeverythinghasitsplace.I’mremindedofrottingfruitinthecompostwhichbecomesasignificant

catalystfornewgrowth.Thesoilofyourexistenceneedsitall,thedifficultandtheeasy;theawkward

andthepresentable.Everythingbelongs.Canyoulivethattoday?

Yes,everythingbelongs.

TheIntruder

Myearlymorningrunsarepainfulatpresent,soIgotoseemyosteopath.MyosteopathtellsmethatIhavetornsomemusclesinmyleg;butIam

wonderingifIhaveahernia,too.Wecan’tbesureyet,butIfearthismaybetrue.Idon’twantahernia,becauseIenjoyrunningandmighthavetowaitalongtimefortheoperation.AsIbreathe,Iamconsciousonlyofmybody,listeningforthesigns.Thisis

howitiswhenyoudon’twantsomething;thedreadcandominate.Soon,however,Istopwishingtheherniaawayandacceptmypresent

experience.‘Welcome,brotherhernia!’asStFrancismightsay.‘Andwhatmessagedoyoubringformetoday?’IfIhaveahernia,thenthisintrudermustbecomeaguestinmybody;nomore

pushingawaywhatispartofme.

Ibreatheinacceptance;Ibreatheoutrejection.

ApproachingTruth

It’sbestifwedon’tapproachtruthinanadultway.Adultsliketosortthingsout.Theyhavedebates,inwhichbothsidesofthe

argumentareconsidered,andonesidedeclaredthewinner.Thisishowtheadultthinksandadultsplacegreatstorebytheirthoughts.Consequently,inthetruthmarket,thisishowtruthiswrappedandsold.Truth

isspliced,packagedanddisplayedforthought-buyers;andsoldascertaintiestotheinsecure.Butnoteveryoneleavesthemarketsatisfied.Theadultishappyenough,

feelingjustifiedintheirchoices,butthechildremainsrestless,unhappyandunfed.Thechild,yousee,hasn’tlearnedhowtosplicetruth,knowingitonlyasone;

andcan’trestuntilalliscompleteagain.

Itisagooddaywhenwestopbuyingoff-cutsfromthetruthmarket;untilthen,thechildcries.

SqueezingtheSatsuma

Iliveaboveagreengrocerandhisshopfrontiswonderfullyfulloffreshfruitandvegetables.Themorningdeliveryarrivesaround5a.m.andthefruitstackedhighisafine

sight,thoughIremainadiscerningbuyer.Isqueezethesatsumas,checktheapples,feelthetomatoesandponderthe

mushrooms.Heisagoodgreengrocer,butthequalityoftheproducecanvarysoit’swisetobevigilant.

Andtoday,asIpractiseawarenessofpresentexperiencewithacceptance,Iwillalsobevigilantforthevaryingqualityofmythoughtsandfeelings.Anyofthemwhichservetoseparatemefromanother,Iwillgreetwithasmile–butleaveontheshelf.

Theyareyesterday’sdelivery.

LeavingthePrison

‘Ahumanbeing,’saidEinstein,‘ispartofthewhole,whichwecalltheUniverse;apartlimitedintimeandspace.Heexperienceshimself,histhoughtsandfeelings,assomethingseparatefromtherest–akindofopticaldelusionofconsciousness.Thisdelusionisakindofprisonforus,restrictingustoourpersonaldesiresandtoaffectionforafewpersonsnearesttous.Ourtaskmustbetofreeourselvesfromthisprisonbywideningourcircleofcompassiontoembracealllivingcreaturesandthewholeofnatureinitsbeauty.’Forthosewishingtoleavetheprisonofdelusion,theonlytaskisthewall-

meltingandlife-expandingpracticeofpresentawarenesswithacceptance.

Itisastateinwhichdeludedandseparateboundariescannotexist.

ATurnerSky

Theotherday,asIwalkedmindfullyinthecity,Ilookedupandsawa‘Turner’sky:thesortofluminousskythattheEnglishRomanticlandscapepainterJMWTurnerlookedatsoprofoundlyandpaintedsowell.And,forthatmoment,timemeltedaway,personalityblurredandwewereone

andthesameperson,WilliamandI,lookingupatoneandthesamesky.

Theeternalnowdoesnotknowourdistinctions.

AndSometimesPassers-by

Goodwords,whenIamabletobecomeonewiththem,strengthenme,calmmeandholdme.Betterthanawarmcoat,theyarelikeafirewithin,asIbecomeonewiththemandtheirmeaning.Itisamomentofunity,whichmakesmebiggerthananyanxiety,fearorragethatisloiteringinside.Thewoodenarrowstheyshootbounceoffme.

Wewillbeawareofthatwithwhichwebecomeonetoday,whetheraword,mood,personoridea;we’llbeawareofhowtheyshapeus.We’llseekunitywiththatwhichmakesuslargerpeopleandbepassers-byofthosethingsthatmakeussmall.

Yes,sometimeswewillbepassers-by.

TheManuscript

Lorna,thehistorian,isstrugglingwiththemanuscriptandisinsomedespair.Howshelongstoreadit!Thismanuscripthasbeenlostforcenturies,butnow

it’sfound,there’sdisappointment.Forhereinthecasketisnotonepieceofpaper,butathousandorsopieces.Someonehastornupthispricelesspieceofwriting!Andwhereasonceitwassimpletoread,itisnowveryhard.Themanuscriptwasnotwrittentobeaproblem;thewordswerewritten

clearlyonasingleparchment.Andsoquietly,Lornasitsdowntoreturnittoitsoriginalstate.

Multiplicityofthoughtandemotionislikeathousandkniveswithinus.Thebladesshredtruthandmakeithardforustoread.Isolatedfragments,awayfromthewhole,becomenonsense;andonthisnonsense,webuild.

Inourbreathingtoday,werememberLornaandhermanuscript.Wherethereismultiplicity,letsimplicitysettle;letthesimplewhole,wherethetruthofour

livesisclearlywritten,bethereinourdeepestbreath.

WhereIsHome?

Thereisastrongsenseofcominghomeinmindfulness.Aswelookatthingspresently,everythingandeverywhereishome–theseat

onthebus,theairwebreathe,thepeoplewemeet,thedesertcave…Andaswelookatthingspresently,wefindalsothatwearemadeupofotherthings.

ThichNhatHanh,acontemporarypoetandZenmaster,reflectsmemorablyononenessasbeinglikeawave,sayingthatifawavelooksdeeplyintoherself,shediscoverssheismadeofotherwaves.Sheisnotaseparateeventsurgingforward,butapartnershipwitheveryotherwaveinthesea.

Whenwelookpresently,whenwelookdeeply,everywhereisrelationshipandeverywhereishome.

NoEndtoOurBeginning

Theword‘Nirvana’describestherealityofnobirthandnodeath,andisoursubstance,justasairisthesubstanceofthewind.

Theword‘God’describesthegroundofourbeing,andisoursubstance,justasflameisthesubstanceoffire.

Justaswecan’tascribeabeginningorendtoNirvanaorGod,sowecan’tascribesuchthingstoourselves,fortheyareoursubstance–likewateristhesubstanceofthesea.

SubstantialandInsubstantial

Therearetwofiguresinsideus:substantialandinsubstantial.Youwillrecognizesubstantial,becauseinitscareyouarestrongandcalm:

present,awareandaccepting.Insubstantialisdifferent,comprisedofdifferentvoicesseekingyourattention,whichcomeandgowithalarmingspeed.Whatsortofvoicesdoyouhear?Ifyouareexperiencingresentment,

bitterness,fear,jealousy,panic,depression,anxiety,irritation,hostilityorconfusiontheninsubstantialishandlingyouraffairs.Substantiallooksafterinsubstantial;greatkindnessandpatienceareshown,

fortheyareclose.Andastimegoesby,thewoundingpowerofnegativefeelingfades,thetwobecomeevermoreone.

Until,oneday,thereisjustsubstantialyou.

TheHostage

Ahostagecounsellorsaidsomeinterestingwordswhenavictimwasreleasedrecently.Thehostagehadenduredseveralmockexecutionsbutseemedrelatively

strongashereflectedonhisexperiences.Thecounsellorlistenedtotheinterviewwiththehostageandwasaskedwhathemadeofthehostage’semotionalstate.‘Howpeopleleavethehostageexperienceishowtheywentintoit,’he

replied.Hismeaningwasclear.Iftheytookstronginnerresourceswiththemintothe

nightmare,theywouldleavewiththoseresourcesstrengthened.Iftheytookfewresourceswiththem,theymayleavewithevenwhattheyhadshattered.Strengthisanexchange.Ifweofferstrengthtoasituation,itisofferedback.

SometimesIstandbyaresilienttreeinthewinterwind.ThetreeismeandIamthetree;weoffereachotherstrength.

WalkingMindfully

Mindfulwalkingisnotthesameasthoughtfulwalking,though,fromadistance,theymightlookthesame.Athoughtfulwalkexistssomewhereotherthanthepresent.Perhapswe’re

reflectingbackonapersonoreventorimaginingforwardtoapossibleoutcome.Mindfulwalkingisnotlikethis,becauseitisthepresentexperienceofour

selvesthroughdirectexperienceoftheenvironment.

AsIwalk,hereisthepavingstoneandhereisthetreeandhereisthewarehouseandhereistheolddoorandhereisthelamppost;andtheyarespeakingtomedirectlyfortheyareasIamandIamastheyare.PerhapsIamaddressedbythespaciousnessofthewarehouseorthetree

buckling;maybetheresilienceofthepavingstonespeakstome,orthedoorbeinglockedorthelamppostofferinglight.ButIamnotaddressedinwords,forawarenessispriortolanguage.Instead,

theirbeingbecomesmybeing,andmybeingtheirbeingindirectconverse.

ThisiswhoIamnow.Ihavenootherexistence.

ATouchingStory

Sometimessmallboyshavetoentertainthemselves.Whilehismumistalkingtothemanonthestall,thesmallsonisinventinga

game.Facingouttowardthepavement,heistouchingeveryonewhopassesby.Nowmostpeoplearetoobusyortoobigtoonotice,thoughanolderboydoes

andglancesbackathimwithalookofyouthfuldisapprovalthatsaysWhatdoyouthinkyou’redoing?

Sallyhaswatchedthelittleboyforawhileandnowsheapproacheshim.Hismotherisstilltalkingtothemanonthestallandheisstillreachingouttopassers-by,touchingeachastheyhurryon.WhenSallyreacheshim,shecatcheshiseye,stretchesoutherhandsandsays,

‘Highfives!’Theboyunderstandsimmediatelyandbringshishandsuptomeetherswithexcitementinhiseyes.

ThoughthereisprobablymoreexcitementinSally,becauseunionislikethat.

RiversideTales

Whenyoucontemplateariver,youcontemplatealifethatiseverywhereallatonce.Hereinthemoment,itisatricklingsourceinthehills,aslow-movingmiddle

courseandaflowingouttoseaatthemouth.Itisrapids,waterfallandcalmprocession;anditisallthesethingsatonce.Theriveriseverywhereandeverywayandpresent;itsbeginning,middleand

endareallnow.Andaswiththeriver,sowithus,thesevenagesofthehumaninthemoment;

frombirthtodeath,notseparatedbytimebuteverywhereandallthingsatonceandnow.

There’snotimebutthepresent.

ThePictureCutter

Themanwaseventuallyimprisoned,sowe’vegottotheendofthestoryintheopeningline.Whatdidhedo?I’lltellyou.Heusedtocutuppictures.‘Whydoyoudothat?’askedhiscleaneroneday.‘IjusttakethebitsIwant,’hereplied.‘Whoneedstherest?’Hecutupallkindsofpictures,whichhefoundinnewspapersandmagazines,

bothmasterpiecesandnewworks.He’dtakeabitfromoneandabitfromanotherandthenputtheminhis‘feel-good’drawer.However,heneverhadtimetoenjoyhis‘feel-good’drawer,becausehewas

busycuttingoutfurtherbitshewanted.‘Don’tyoueverwantthewholepicture?’askedthecleaner.‘ThewholepicturehastoomuchthatIdon’twant,’hesaid.Themanwasimprisonednotbythecourts,ofcourse,butbyhisinabilityto

relatetoanything,whichdidn’tmakehimfeelgood.

Hedidn’twantthewholepicture;hejustwantedhispicture.

WhentheTruthGetsHeated

Firewatchersknowmanyjoys.Aparticularpleasureofwatchingafireistheunfoldingunionofdifference,as

asparkbecomesaflamebecomesthewoodbecomesthefireinastunningexchangeofenergyandform.IregardmyselfasfortunatewhenI’mabletowitnessthisandalmost

uncomfortablyclosetoheaven.Idon’thaveanswerswhenitcomestofires.Whocansaywherethespark

endsandtheflamebegins?Andwhocansaywherethewoodendsandthefirebegins?Theyarenotthesamebuttheyareone;theflameholdsthesparkjustasthewoodisthefire.

Itaketheheatofthisunionintoaworldcoldwithmentalboundariesandwallsthatdeclare:

‘I’mnotyouandyou’renotme!’

Contented?

Thewomanistellingmehowcontentedsheis.‘I’mverycontented,’shesays.‘Very,verycontented.’Iaskifsheevergetsangry.ShesayspeopledyinginAfghanistanmakeher

angry.Whythatwarinparticular?‘Becauseweshouldn’tbethere!’shesaystestilySheissmilingquicklyagain

however,andadds:‘ButI’mabletopushthatstuffawayandstaycontented!’Andasshesaysthis,shepushesawayanimaginaryirritantwithherhands,

enactingwithherbodywhatsheisdoinginhermind.Ifeeluncomfortable.Isuggestthatitisn’ttruecontentmentifsheneedsto

rejectunwantedemotionsinordertomaintainit.‘Whynotinhaleyourangerandexhaleyourfearofanger?’Isay.‘Perhaps

thenyoucouldtalkofcontentmentmoretruthfully.’

Shemovesaway.

TouchingPresence

Sometimeswetouchitinourselves.Wetouchpurepresence,andknowthatwearewellandwholeandone.Likeababyatpeace,nocryingherebutsweetcalm;andthereisnothingtobe

said,andnothingwhichcanharm,andnothingdesired,andeverythingunderstoodintheeternalmoment.

Sometimes.

8

BECOMINGBEHAVIOUR

Waystorespondtotheworld,whenourtendencyistoreacttotheworld.

BodyofEvidence

Bewareofyourbodyhypnotizingyou.Sometimesourbodieshypnotizeusintoaparticularstate.Itmightbeour

facialmusclesbeingunhelpful,astheyscowlorharden;orourtautwristmuscles,juttingjaw,twitchinglegs,stoopedshoulders,pushed-outchest,tenseshouldersordartingeyemovements.Ourbodycanhypnotizeouremotionalmood.If,forinstance,westop

frowning,ourmechanicalangermightdisappear;orifwestopourquickanxiousmovements,ouranxietymightbegintofade.Sometimesourmovingcentre–whichcontrolsourbodies–canhypnotize

ouremotionalcentreorthinkingcentre,andperpetuateanegativeemotionbycontinuingtoactitout,longafteritshouldhavepassedthroughus.Itappearsthatsomepeople’sbodieshavesealed-inemotionsforlife.Don’t

givesuchpowertoyourbodytoday.Noticethegamesitplays,theoldwaysitlivesoutandaskittorelaxwhennecessary.

Yourbodyisyourcompanion,notyourhypnotist.

I’mNotAlwaysMindful

Mindfulnessispresentawarenessofouruneditedselveswithacceptance.We’remindfulwhenwe’reawareofwhat’spassingthroughus–pleasantor

otherwise–andallowittobeso,justasitis...likeweallowthepassingclouds.Wemaylosethismindfulstate.Athoughtoremotionwillkidnapus,maybeforminutes,hoursordays;or

we’llputourselvesinthewayofdistraction,hoppingfromthistothat,likearestlessbutterfly.Andthat’sallright.Mindfulnessisnotsuddenlyandpermanentlyacquired...butsomethingwe

growinto.It’stheslowrecoveryofourendlesslypresentsoul.Perhapswe’remoremindfulofourlivesthanoncewewere?

We’reontheway.

‘I’mListening’

Onlyafewhavethecapacitytolisten.Onlyafewknowhowtoallowanother’swordstoentertheirmind;howto

remainquiet,openandwaitingwhateverthenatureoftheflow,whetheratorrentoratrickle.Inlisteningsuchasthis,eachwordisgreetedandweighed,andnowordlost

throughdistractionorturnedawayinimpatience.Nowordispraisedandnowordisrebuked;nowordapplaudedandnoword

judged.Suchalistenerwillhavetheirownstory,theirownsearch–butthatisnot

presentinthespaceofferedbytheonewhoisaware,presentandaccepting.

Whenyoudiscoversuchalistener,youdiscovertreasure.

LettingGo

Hotcupsaresimilartoperceptions.Ifacupofhotteaisburningyourhands,thenletgoofit.Thecupmaysmash

onthefloorandspillteaeverywhere;betterthemessofabrokencupthanburnedhands.Wereyoutoclingstubbornlytothescaldingcup,whetherinignoranceor

fear,itwouldbefoolish.Lettinggoofsomethingthatcausesyousufferingisprudent.Inthesameway,letgoofperceptionsthatcauseyousuffering,fortheyhurt

youmorethanascaldingcup.Perceptionsarehurtfulbecausetheyareoftenmistakenormisinformedand,throughthem,youbecomevain,self-righteousornegative.Howmightyoustart?Youalreadyhave,oncemindfulnessrevealsthe

impermanentanddiscreditednatureofyourcurrentobsession.

Soyouletgo.Youletgo.Youletgo.

Andthenyouletgoagain.

AnxietyIssues

Somepeoplecallanxietyaproblembutthisisn’tquitetrue.Fightinganxietyistheproblem...becausesymptomsonlyintensifywhenwe

trytogetridofthem.ThemoreIinsistIfallasleep,themoreIdon’t.Thegeniushereistogrowintoacceptanceofmybodyandmind,andthe

varietyofexperiencestheyoffer.Sothingscontinuetoarise,echoesofmypast…buttheydon’toverwhelm.Andprogressismeasurednotbyanabsenceofpanic...butbyhowmuch

anxietyIcanallow.Wecansaysomethinglike:

‘I’mnotanxious;it’snotwhoIam.I’mmerelyexperiencinganxiety.

Someunresolvedmaterialfrommypastispassingthrough,visiting…butnotstaying.’

MarcosandtheParachute

AyoungskydivercalledMarcosishurtlingtowardstheground.Suddenlyhisinstructorisalongsidehim,tellinghimtoremovehisunusedparachute.Hisfirstthoughtis:What’sgoingon?Hissecondthoughtis:Thisiscompletelyridiculous!Histhirdthoughtmakeshimfeelangrywiththeinstructor:Everythingis

goingwell.Whyishemessingupmyskydive?TheinstructorpersistswithhisrequestandMarcospersistswithhisrefusal

until,suddenly,Marcos’preciousparachutepackiswrenchedfromhimandjettisonedbytheinstructor.Marcosnowhasnothingashefallsdownwards.Panicshootsthroughhisbody,untiltheinstructorhandshimanother

parachute,onehehadn’tseen.Theybothlandsafely,afterwhichMarcosdiscoversthathisoriginal

parachutewasoneofafaultybatchandcouldn’tbetrusted.

Wewon’tfearthelossofourillusions.Weclingtoillusionbutlettinggodoesn’tleadtodisillusionment–simplyasaferlandingandabetterway.

ClosingtheDoor

‘I,too,closedthedoor,’hesaid,andIwasshocked.Hereisthenubofthematterinthisshortpiece:weforgivepeoplebecausewe

arethesameasthem.Whenangeredbysomeone,it’shelpfultoconsidertheattitudeintheother

thatcausesyourrage;andthentoseewhetherthisattitudeiseverinyou.WhatamIangryat?WhenIreflectinthisway,Ineverfailtofindtheoffendingattitudealsoinme.IremembersomeonereflectingontheHolocaustandtalkingabouttheguards

whoclosedthedoorsofthegaschambersonmillionsofinnocentlives.‘I,too,closedthedoors,’hesaid,andIwasshocked.BornyearsaftertheendofWorldWarII,Iknewhehadneverbeennearthe

gaschambers.Heunderstood,however,thatindifferentways,he’dtreatedpeopleasnothing,whetherinthoughtordeed.Hehadsnuffedoutinnocence,too.

Wedon’tforgivebecausewearebetterbutbecausewearethesame.

TheOriginsofYoga

Theeveningyogaclasstakesmanyformsthesedays.Initsoriginalsense,yogawasconcernedwithyokingbodyandmind,liketwo

wildhorsesbroughttogether,andbindingthemtothewill.Ourwillistheseatofchange;whatwewill,wedo.Soyogaincludesasceticpractice,whichdeniesthebodyormindsomethingit

craves.Bydoingthis,wefeeltheimpatienttexturesofdesireinourbodybutalsofeelthroughthemtofreedombeyond.Yogaalsousesmeditation,whichreducespersonalignoranceandgrowsself-

knowledge,byallowingustowitnesstheunfoldingpatternsofbodyandmind,astheyoccur.Inparticular,wefaceourtoxicthoughts,dartingthroughuslikefrightenedfish.Soyoga,asoriginallyconceived,trainsourwilltosaveusfromthepowerof

grabbingdesireandthedeepfogofpersonalignorance.

Quiteenlightened,really.

Stoned

Iseethestrangestthingtoday.Attheshoppingmall,Iwatchacrowdofpeopleplacestoneafterstoneonaman’sbody,crushingthelifeoutofhim.Themanisstillaliveandstruggling,thoughnooneseemsconcerned.Irunacrosstowardsthem.‘Whatareyoudoing?’Iask.‘Nothing,’theyreply,‘justanormalday.’‘Justanormalday!Butwhataboutthestones?’‘Whatstones?’theyexclaimwithgenuinesurprisebeforecontinuingwith

theirwork.Equally,weareblindasweloadotherpeoplewithouragendas,withwhatwe

wantfromthem.Andeachdesiredoutcomeisaheavystoneontheirsoul.

Ifwearetopractiseonethingtodayitcouldbestoneremoval,asweallowpeopletogetupandgofree.

Setfreeandyoushallbesetfree.

DoingtheImpossible

Today,wewilldotheimpossible.Wewillbebothsomeonewhocaresandsomeonewhodoesn’tcare.‘Teachustocareandnottocare,’wroteTSEliot,andthisisahelpfulsaying,

becausedoingonewithouttheotherisdangerous.Sotodayweallowcompassiontothesurfaceand,perhaps,wewillhelp

someoneinsomeway.We’llremainmindful,however,thatourhelpdoesn’tbecomeaclaimover

another;orperhaps,amarkofourskillorkindness.Wedon’toffercaretobolsterourself-imageorselfesteem;thisisnarcissism

dressedupasvirtue.Thisiswhyweletgoofourcarebeforeithasevenleftus,barelyawareofit

passingthrough.

‘Teachustocareandnottocare.’

Ever-diminishingReflections

Eachday,webreakoffalittlepieceofthemirror.Ourmirrormaystartlargeandtakeprideofplace.Dailywestandinfrontofit,placinggreatsignificanceonitsreflected

assessment.Sometimeswegrantsignificancetotheassessmentsofothers,whichcanbe

anothermirrorthatoppresses.Neitherofthesearehelpfulmirrors.Soeachday,webreakoffalittlepieceofthemirror.Wedothisuntilthereis

solittleleftthatwegiveuplookingatourselves–whetherthroughoureyesorthoseofothers–andsimplyenjoybeingourselves.

Enjoylifeawayfromthemirrors.

AnEmptyBowl

Ourloveistobeanambitiouslove,seekingnotthehappinessofaselectfewbutthehappinessofmany.Suchdaringloveneedsnurture,however,andwe’llrequireastrongbaseor

refugeonthisadventure,whetherit’sacommunity,ateachingorasimplepracticeofourown.Itcouldbeallthree.Ifalone,wemightinventaritual.SometimesIholdanemptybowlatthestartoftheday.Ibreatheinsimplicity

andspace,andbreatheoutmultiplicityandconfusion.AtothertimesIuseacrystalglassIwasgiven.Iwishformyselfandthe

world,theendofdelusionandthecomingofjoy,andthenIringtheglassandallowthehealingsoundtofillmyroomandthentheworld.

Asyouhearthecalltoambitiouslove,youwillfindyourownrefuge,ritualandstrengthfortheadventure.

BytheWatersofBabylon

Haveyoumetpeoplelikethis?Theyliveabroadbutkeepglancingbackattheplacetheyleft.Theydidn’t

meantoleavebutsomehowtheyhavegone.Theythoughtitwastobeforashortwhile,butshorthasnowbecomelong.And,thoughtheyconstantlydeclarehowhappytheyare,thereisasighin

theirbreathandasenseofexilewithin;theyfeelcutofffromtheirhomeland.‘BythewatersofBabylonwesatdownandweptwhenwerememberedZion,’

wrotethepsalmist,describingthepainoftheJewsinexileinBabylon.Therewerenopretendsmileshere.Whenweleaveourinnerground,wejointhoseinexile.Ourinnergroundis

ourhomeground.Thetruthisalwaysinourowngroundandnotbeyondit,insomeotherpersonorplace.Sotodaywe’llnoticeeachcalltogetintosomeoneelse’sline,eachdemand

thatwedancetoanother’stune,eachinvitationintoexile.Andwhoknows?Maybewe’llgothere,beforereturningintimetoourownground.

Untilonedaywestay,nevertoleaveagain,homeforgood.

SecretsofFire-eating

Iwaswatchingafire-eaterrecently.Theoriginsoffire-eatinglieinIndiabut,whereveritispractised,there’sno

suchthingas‘coldfire’.Thesecretoffire-eatingissimplyenduringthepain–andtheabilitytotolerateconstantblistersonyourtongue,lipsandthroat.Themostfamousfire-eaterinhistorywasprobablyRobertPowell,wholived

intheseventeenthcentury.Hewouldswallowfire,red-hotcoalsandmeltedsealingwax,andheappearedinfrontofBritishandEuropeanroyaltyfornearlysixtyyears.Butroyaltyornot,anddespiteallhisexperience,therewasno‘coldfire’for

Robert,noslicktrickofavoidance.

Webreatheintothepain,notaroundit.

MeisterEckhartinHisOwnWords

SP:Whatisthemostpowerfulformofprayer?

ME:Themostpowerfulformofprayer,andonewhichcangainalmostallthingsandwhichistheworthiestworkofall,isthatwhichflowsfromafreemind.

SP:That’sveryquotable.Andafreemindcanachieveallthingsbecauseitisnottiedtoanyparticularoutcome?

ME:Afreemindisonethatisquiteuntroubledandunfetteredbyanything;amindthathasnottieditselftoanywayofbeingordevotion,anddoesnotseekitsowninterestinanything.

SP:Nowthere’sachallenge.

ME:Rather,itisforeverimmersedinGod’smostpreciouswill,havingleftitsown.Thereisnowork,whichmenandwomencanperform,howeversmall,thatdoesnotdrawitsstrengthfromthisleavingofitspowerandstrength.

Whatwindfillsyoursailstoday?

OurCommunity

Itisimportanttomaintainourcommunity.Weallliveinacommunity.Whoeverwemeetorhavedealingswith,theyare

ourcommunity.Ifyoumeetastreetcleanereverymorningonyourrun,heispartofyourcommunity.Peoplecomeandgoinourlives,whethertheyarefamily,workcolleaguesor

ournewsagent.Butwealwaysnurturethepresentcommunitywithkindness.Wehelpthem

when,unknowingly,theydon’thelpus;astheyhelpuswhen,unknowingly,wedon’thelpthem.Whateveritsshapeorform–andnotwoarethesame–thereissafetyinyour

communityandblessing.

Youaretheirhomeandtheyareyours.

MindfulListening

Whensomeonelistenstous,it’soneofthebestexperiencesintheworld.Sadly,somepeoplehaveneverbeenlistenedto,leavingmuchhurtsealedinside.Theymayhavehadcountlessconversations–banter,gossip,shouting

matches,hilarityandkeendebate–butthey’veneverbeenlistenedto;andtheirlifeneverheard.This,ofcourse,iswhypoliteconversationmakespeoplefeeldepressed.Politeconversationisn’tlistening.Mindfulnessimprovesthequalityofourlisteningbyfreeingenergy.Energy,

formerlywastedoncontrollingsituationsordefendingourownposition,nowbecomesavailableforlistening.Mindfulnessalsobestowstranquillity.Inourselves,welearntoallow

whateverarises;andsowelearntoallowthisinothers,too.Peopleknowwe’llbeundisturbedbywhateverisrevealed,whichhelpsthemfeelsafewithus.Andmindfulnessbestowsconcentration;thatsustainedqualityoffocus,

nurturedinourdailypracticeofreturningourselvestothepresent.Thereisnodistractioninthepresent,andsowe’reabletoofferourfullattention.

Whenitcomestolistening,someofferonlyminimalpresence.Describedhere,though,isoptimalpresence:trulyoneofthegreatwondersoftheworld.

MindfulLeadership

‘Officerelationshipshavechangedrecently,’saysmyfriend.‘It’sallbecomemuchmoreunpleasant.’Why?Herbossistoofulloftheirownstufftoholdanyoneelse.Andgood

leadershipisholding.Whenwedon’tfeelheld,likebabies,wepanicandturnonthosearoundus.Sointheoffice,everyoneisnowlookingoutforthemselves;andthere’s

bitchingaswell.‘EvenI’vestartedbeingbitchyandIdon’twanttobe,’shesays.Mindfulleadershipfirstpaysattentiontoitself:‘Whatisarisinginmetoday?Whatthoughtsorfeelingsdominate?’IfIcannoticethese,Ibecomebetterabletopayattentiontoothers.Self-awarenessloosensthegripofourowninternalpatternsandcreatesspace

thatcanbeofferedtoothers.

Themindfulbosswillalwaysbeabletosay,‘Mydoor–andmymind–isopen.Ifitmatterstoyou,itmatterstome.’

TheUnhappyDaffodil

Thedaffodilwasmakingitselfunhappy.Becauseithadagreenstem,thedaffodillookedatagreenbusfullofpeople

andthought:Icouldbeasgreenandpopularasthatbus.Andbecausethedaffodilcouldgrowinspringtime,itlookedatthemuch-

admiredcrocusandthought:Well,Icangrowinspringaswell,youknow!Andbecauseitwasgoodatbeingyellow,thedaffodilgazedatthesun,which

peoplesoloved,andthought:Beingyellowiseasy.Idon’tknowwhythesungetsallthecredit!

Thedaffodilwasforgettingthatitwasbestatbeingadaffodil–thebus,crocusandsuncouldonlydreamofbeingsoglorious.

ASeafrontTableinWinter

Iaminaseasidetowninwinter,walkingalongtheseafrontbeforetheworldwakes.TheseasidecafésareclosedandquietinthecoldbutInoticeafrostytable,whichsomeoneforgottoputaway.Inthesummer,thistablewouldbebusyanduseful.Peoplewouldhovertoget

aseat,waitingforsomeonetomove.Thetablewouldbeindemand,holdingteaandcakes,milkshakesandicecreamor,perhaps,servingsoffishandchips.Inthewinterdawn,thingsaredifferent.Thetableisalone,soughtbynoone

andtouchedbyfrost.It’sbeautifulbutnotuseful–thoughInoteaseagullalightinguponitfortemporaryrestbeforereturningtothechillcurrentsofthesky.Isometimesfeeltheneedtobeuseful,becauseitmakesmefeelbetterabout

myself.Whenitisn’ttheseason,itishardandit’sduringthesetimesthatItrytoforcethingsandinsistonbeinguseful;whenallthetime,liketheseafronttable,it’senoughtobetouchedbybeauty.

Perhaps,justbeingbeautifulisuseful.

Let’sNotCallItLove

Letusnowtalkoflovebeyondthenonsensefields.Loveismadeofunderstanding;thisisitssubstance.Loveunderstands

another’shopesandfears,frailtiesandlongingsand,outofsuchunderstanding,comestendernessandcompassion.Loveisaspaciousaffair.Loveallowsforcomingandgoing,foritknows

nothingofpossessiveness.And,arisingfromthedeepplaces,therewillalwaysbethebubblingspringof

delight,forasThichNhatHanhobserved:‘Ifbothpartiescryeveryday,thatisnottruelove.’

Wetalkoflovebeyondthenonsensefields.

TheDailyDeath

Death,ourdailycalling,istheremovalofpossessionfromourexistence.Possessionhelpsthecreatureinusfeelsecure.Somepeopleliketopossess

things;someliketopossesspeople,whileothersclingtoimagesorideas.Butwebestforsakethesethingsfortheperfectionandfreedomof

nothingness.AsJesussaid,‘Whoeverwouldsavetheirsoulmustloseit.’Wemustevenforsake‘God’,asonlythoughtsandimagescangatherround

labels.Godishappythatweshouldleaveinthisway;fordirectexperienceseeswithoutlabels.So,todaynoticethecreatureinyourself,withitsdesiretopossessthings,

people,imagesorideas.Andtakeleaveofyourdesires,forallarediminishedandentrappedbythem,bothdesireranddesired.

Suchabandonmentisthehighestdeath;anditleavesuswithnothingtopresenttoothersexceptourfreedom.

HowWillWeKnow?

HowwillIknowwhendawnbreaks?Youwillseethroughtotheinnocenceofothers.

HowwillIknowwhendawnbreaks?Youwillmoveintheworldmorefreely.

HowwillIknowwhendawnbreaks?Youwillnoticeyourselfmoreclearly.

HowwillIknowwhendawnbreaks?Youwillexistintheworldmoregenerously.

HowwillIknowwhendawnbreaks?Youwillsufferintheworldmorelightly.

HowwillIknowwhendawnbreaks?

Whenyouacceptthenightasafriend,dawnhasalreadybroken.

MapuandtheAngel

ThisstoryistoldofMapuandtheangel.Mapulivedhappilyinavillagesellingfruitinthemarket.Oneday,theangel

Khabirappearedtohimandtoldhimtojumpinthefast-flowingriver.Mapudidthisimmediatelyandwascarrieddownstreamuntilsomeonethrew

himaropeandpulledhimout.Thissamemanofferedhimajobinhisfishingbusiness.Mapuwasgratefultoacceptandworkedforthemanforafewhappyyearsuntiltheangeltoldhimtomoveonagain.Afterpassingthroughafewvillages,Mapugotworkinafabricshop,learning

thisnewcraftrelativelyhappilyuntiltheangelappearedagainandsenthimonhisway.Downtheyears,Mapuworkedinvariousjobsinthismanner,alwaysmovingonwheninstructedbytheangel.

BythetimeMapuwasanoldman,he’dgainedareputationforbeingcompassionateandwiseandpeoplecametohimwiththeirproblems.Oneday,avisitorsaid,‘Mapu,howdidyougettowhereyouarenow?’Maputhoughtforamomentandreplied:‘It’sdifficulttosay,really.’

ItwasdifficulttosaybecauseMapu’sonlyskillwastolistentotheangelKhabir,whosenamemeans‘TheAllAware’;hisonlyskillwasopennesstotheinstructionofawarenessandthecouragetoactonwhatheheard.

Maysuchopennessandcouragebeyours.

AbouttheAuthor

DailyMailcolumnistSimonParkespenttwentyyearsasapriestintheChurchofEngland,andthreeyearsworkinginasupermarket,stackingshelvesand

contemplatingthemeaningoflife.Hehaswrittenextensively,producingawardwinningscriptsforTVandradio,andacollectionofnovels.Simonruns,leadsretreats,meetswithpeoplelookingforanewwayintheirlife,andfollowsthe

beautifulgame.

Website:www.simonparke.com

AlsoAvailablebySimonParke

One-MinuteMystic

HayHouseTitlesofRelatedInterest

AnxietyFree,byRobertL.Leahy

LifeLessons,byLesleyGarner

LifeSupport,byDerekDraper

LucidLiving,byTimFreke

Meditation,byBrianL.Weiss

TheMindfulManifesto,byDrJontyHeaversedgeandEdHalliwellShiftHappens,byRobertHolden

Alloftheaboveareavailableatyourlocalbookstore,ormaybeorderedfromwww.hayhouse.co.uk/books.

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