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FREETAKE ONE

September 6, 2017 Volume 11, Issue 24

“The Hottest Little Paper in Town!”Distribution on the 1st & 3rd Wednesday of each month

For Advertising: Michelle Brokop (815)751-1286 Email: [email protected]

NORTHERNKANE & KENDALL COUNTIES

Download your FREE copy today at: www.OrangePeelGazetteKaneCo.com

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Law School One day in Contract Law class, Professor Jepson

asked one of his better students, "Now if you were togive someone an orange, how would you go about it?"

The student replied, "Here's an orange." The professor was livid. "No! No! Think like a

lawyer!" the Professor instructed. The student then recited, "Okay, I'd tell him, 'I

hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away withand without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anythingherein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds,instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever tothe contrary in anywise notwithstanding ....."

Looking for Work I was unhappy with my job, so I submitted my

resignation. I was sure I'd have no trouble finding anew position, because there was a shortage of peoplewith my skill.

I e-mailed cover letters to dozens of potential employers, attaching a copy of my resume to each one. Weeks later, I was dismayed and bewildered that I hadn't received even one request for an interview.

Finally I received a response that explained it all:"Your resume was not attached as stated. I do, however, want to thank you for the vegetable lasagnarecipe."

OPG 9-6-17_Layout 1 8/30/2017 10:42 AM

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I Wanna Be A BearIf you're a bear, you get to hibernate.

You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could dealwith that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

If you're a bear, you birth your children(who are the size of walnuts) while you're

sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs.I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you meanbusiness. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. Ifyour cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I coulddeal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wakeup growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairylegs and excess body fat.

Yup..... I wanna be a bear.

POSITIVE SIDE OF LIFE• Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.

• How long a minute is depends on what side of thebathroom door you're on.

• Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.

• Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.

• Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.

• You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

• Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.• Don't cry because it's over; smile because it

happened.• A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

OPG 9-6-17_Layout 1 8/30/2017 10:42 AM

ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESLike us on Facebook for past issues & more fun stories...OrangePeelGazetteKaneCo • PAGE 4

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Food, Family, and Philosophy A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous

about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.The father replies: "My son, there are three subjectsthat always work. These are food, family, and philosophy."

The boy picks up his date and they go to a sodafountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousnessbuilds. He remembers his father's advice, and choosesthe first topic. He asks the girl, "Do you like potatopancakes?" She says, "No" and the silence returns.

After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boythinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the seconditem on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?"Again, the girl says, "No" and there is silence onceagain.

The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question:"If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?"

Fire Test Joey and his classmates had just finished a tour of

the local fire hall. Before each student could leave, thefire chief quizzed him. The fire chief asked little Joey,"What do you do if your clothes catch on fire?"

Joey replied promptly, "I don't put them on."

OPG 9-6-17_Layout 1 8/30/2017 10:42 AM



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School of Agriculture The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was

interviewing a prospective student, "Why have youchosen this career?" he asked.

"I dream of making a million dollars in farming,like my father," the student replied.

"Your father made a million dollars in farming?"echoed the dean much impressed.

"No," replied the applicant. "But he alwaysdreamed of it."

Call Policy The local high school has a policy that the parents

must call the school if a student is to be absent for theday. Kelly (name changed to protect the guilty), deciding to skip school and go to the mall with herfriends waited until her parents had left for work andcalled the school herself. This is the actual conversation of the telephone call.

Kelly: "Hi, I'm calling to report that Kelly is unableto make it to school today because she is ill.

Secretary at high school: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.I'll note her absence. Who is this calling?"

Kelly: "This is my mother."

Mark Twain Quotes• "The report of my death was an exaggeration.• "The holy passion of friendship is of so sweet and

steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money."

• "What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.

OPG 9-6-17_Layout 1 8/30/2017 10:42 AM

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Church Ladies With typewriters . . .They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins!

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.--------------------------

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

-------------------------- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance toget rid of those things not worth keeping around the

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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. --------------------------

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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. Theyneed all the help they can get.

-------------------------- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on

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-------------------------- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to

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OPG 9-6-17_Layout 1 8/30/2017 10:42 AM



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In March of 1992 a man living in Newton, Massachusetts received a bill on his as yet unusedcredit card stating that he owed $0.00. He threw itaway. In April he received another and tossed that one,too. The following month the credit card company senthim a nasty note stating they were going to cancel hiscard if he didn't send them $0.00. In retrospect, heprobably should have let them do that. Instead hecalled the company and was informed that (are youready for this?) the problem was the result of a computer error. They told him they'd take care ofit.The following month he reasoned that, if othercharges appeared on the card, then it would put an endto his ridiculous predicament. Besides, they assuredhim the problem would be resolved. So he presentedhis card for a purchase. It was declined. Once again hecalled.

He learned that the credit card had been cancelledfor lack of payment. They apologized for (here it isagain) another computer error and promised theywould rectify the situation.The next week he got a billfor $0.00 stating that payment was now overdue. Assuming that this bill was yet another mistake, heignored it. But the following month he received yetanother bill for $0.00 stating that he had ten days topay his account in full or the company would take necessary steps to recover the debt. He gave in. Hemailed in a check for $0.00. The computer dulyprocessed it and returned a statement to the effect thathis account was paid in full. A week later, the man'sbank called him asking him why he wrote a check for$0.00. He explained the problem at length. The bankreplied that the $0.00 check had caused their checkprocessing software to fail. The bank could not nowprocess ANY checks from ANY of their customers thatday because the check for $0.00 caused a computercrash. The following month the man received a letterfrom the credit card company claiming that his checkhad bounced, that he still owed $0.00 and, unless payment was sent immediately, they would instituteprocedures to collect his debt. This man, who had beenconsidering buying his wife a computer for herbirthday, bought her a typewriter instead.

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My Favorite HymnA southern minister was completing a temperance

sermon. With great statement he said, "If I had all thebeer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I hadall the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into theriver."

And then finally, he said, "And if I had all thewhiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into theriver."

Sermon complete, he then sat down.The song leader stood very cautiously and

announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let ussing Hymn #365: Shall We Gather at the River".

How Important? I was watching a Brittish detective story on TV.

The local group was gathering in their hunting best for a fox hunt. In the opening scene my 9 year olddaughter wanted to know what the people were doing,noticing the formal hunting outfits and well groomedhorses. I replied that they were looking for a fox. Therewas a short stunned silence and then she asked: "Is it avery important fox?"

Webster's Dictionary Like a lot of husbands throughout history, Webster

would sit down and try to talk to his wife. But, as soonas he would start to say something, his wife would ask,"And what's that supposed to mean?"

And so, Webster's Dictionary was born.

OPG 9-6-17_Layout 1 8/30/2017 10:42 AM



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• Doors Open at 5pm • Bullseye Game at 6:50pm

Hall Rental Hall Rental AvailableAvailable

Call for Special Rates

• Full Bar with Specials on Bingo Night

SOUTH ELGIN LIONS CLUB500 Fulton St • S. Elgin

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www.SouthElginLions.comINTERESTED IN BECOMING A LION? ASK YOUR LOCAL CLUB HOW.

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night. Expires 9/30/17

You love reading the ORANGE PEEL GAZETTEYour customers do too! Be a part of it!

Call Today! 815-751-1286

Resilience Home Health

(630) 236-8800www.resiliencehomehealth.com

Our caring team of clinicians and caregivers are able to support a wide range of services to meet your needs

Home Care ServicesErrand Service • Activities of Daily Living Personal Care • Medication Reminders

Companionship • Meal Preparation Household Chores

Home Health ServiceBringing medical care in the convenience of your home for

nursing Care • Therapy Care • Social Work • nurses AideChildren's Proverbs A first grade teacher collected well known

proverbs. She gave each child in her class the firsthalf of a proverb and asked them to come up with theremainder of the proverb. Their insight may surpriseyou.

•Never underestimate the power of...termites. •Don't bite the hand that...looks dirty.

•No news is... impossible. •A miss is as good as a... Mr.

•You can't teach an old dog new... math. •If you lie down with dogs, you'll...

stink in the morning. •Love all, trust... me.

•The pen is mightier than the... pigs. •An idle mind is... the best way to relax. •Where there's smoke there's... pollution.

•A penny saved is... not much. •Don't put off till tomorrow what...

you put on to go to bed. •Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry

and... you have to blow your nose. •Children should be seen and not...

spanked or grounded. •If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.

•You get out of something what you...see pictured on the box.

•When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way.

JOB BENEFITSA salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a

policeman. Several months later, a friend asked himhow he liked his new role.

"Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hoursaren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer isalways wrong!"

Gyros - Hamburgers - Hotdogs and moreCombo Meals + Daily Specials

630-585-74501250 N. Farnsworth Av

Aurora, IL 60505

Breakfast Served ALL Day

BRING THIS COUPON FOR 10% OFF THRU SEPTEMBER 30, 2017

OPG 9-6-17_Layout 1 8/30/2017 10:42 AM


Opee Gazette says: Let’s Play!Who Wants To Be A Zillionaire?


The Hummingbird Quiz

Bill Cleveland 815-751-1156

Quality PostFrame Buildings

www.pinnobuildings.com • 888-567-7166

BUILT TO LAST! …

Sales Sta ThroughoutIllinois & Wisconsin

Now’s The PerfectTime To Call About YourNew Building Project!

$398,000 Question...In general, what role does the male hummingbird have in building nests and feeding babies?A) Builds nest B) Feeds babiesC) Protects nest D) Nothing

$399,000 Question...How many hummingbird species have occurred in theUnited States?A) 15 B) 21C) 27 D) 33

$400,000 Question...How long is a Ruby-throated Hummingbird from tip ofbeak to tip of tail?A) 3 inches B) 4 inchesC) 6 inches D) 6 inches

$401,000 Question...How big is a hummingbird's egg?A) 1/4 inch B) 1/2 inchC) 3/4 inch D) 1 inch

$402,000 Question...Which hummingbird nests in Alaska?A) Black chinned B) Rufous C) Costa’s D) Bahama Woodstar

$403,000 Question...What do hummingbirds eat?A) Grass B) Nectar and small insectsC) Fish D) Squirrels

$404,000 Question...What is the name of the bright-colored patch on thethroats of most male hummingbirds?A) Gorget B) ShieldC) Flashback D) Oster

(True of False) Hummingbirds sing with their tails?(Answers below - See you next issue)

Answers: $398 - D $399 - C; $400 - A; $401 - B; $402 - B; $403 - B; $404 - A; True.

Elementary School Teacher Quiz Are You A TRUE Elementary School Teacher?

Let's Find Out: 1. Do you ask guests if they have remembered their

scarves and mittens as they leave your home? 2. Do you move your dinner partner's glass away from

the edge of the table? 3. Do you ask if anyone needs to go to the bathroom as

you enter a theater with a group of friends? 4. Do you hand a tissue to anyone who sneezes? 5. Do you refer to happy hour as "snack time"? 6. Do you declare "no cuts" when a shopper squeezes

ahead of you in a checkout line? 7. Do you say "I like the way you did that" to the

mechanic who repairs your car nice? 8. Do you ask "Are you sure you did your best?" to the

mechanic who fails to repair your car to your satisfaction?

9. Do you sing the "Alphabet Song" to yourself as you look up a number in the phone book?

10. Do you say everything twice? I mean, do you repeat everything?

11. Do you fold your spouse's fingers over the coins as you hand him/her the money?

12. Do you ask a quiet person at a party if he has something to share with the group?

* If you answered yes to 4 or more, it's in your soul --you are hooked on teaching. And if you're not ateacher, you missed your calling.

* If you answered yes to 8 or more, well, maybe it's“too much” in your soul -- you should probably beginthinking about retirement.

* If you answered yes to all 12, forget it -- you'll“always” be a teacher, retired or not!

Sport Quotes "If everything seems under control, you're just not

going fast enough." ~ Mario Andretti."I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game

broke out." ~ Rodney Dangerfield."Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show

you a man who is playing golf with his boss."~Jim Murray.

5 ROOMS CLEANED$55FOR

Only Call Lori Sabor atCall Lori Sabor at(815)793-9141(815)793-9141

Homes • Offices • Move-In/Outs

• Reliable & Efficient• Reasonable Rates• Flexible Schedule• No Job Too Small

OPG 9-6-17_Layout 1 8/30/2017 10:42 AM



The Horse BorderA man was going out of town and needed to board

his horse for a couple of months. He asked a localfarmer about it and was told, "Sure, but I charge $50per week, and I keep the manure." The fellow can't afford that, so the farmer referred him to ol' Jones,down the road.

When approached with the request, Jones said,"Yup, I can do it for $40 a week, and I keep the manure." This is still too much, so Jones suggested thathe try Mr. Brown.

When our desperate friend asked Mr. Brown, he issurprised to hear, "Sure, Sonny. I'll be glad to for $5 amonth." With delight, the young man exclaimed,"WOW! I suppose for that price you'll want to keep themanure."

The old man looked at him with kind of a squint,and replied, "Feller, for $5 a month, there ain't gonnabe none!"

•For Sale: Full set of Brittanica Encyclopedia, Excellent condition, no longer needed,

wife knows everything!

www.ChicagoInstrumentExchange.com

24 yearsin business

W_ S_ll R_fur\ish_^ B[n^ Instrum_ntsB[n^ Instrum_nts

Buy • S_ll • Tr[^_Exp_]t @ffor^[\l_ Pri]_s on qu[lity Instrum_nts

in]lu^ing Trump_ts, Trom\on_s, Cl[rin_ts [n^ Flut_s.

17 North River St • Batavia, IL

(630)879-2815 Instrum_ntEx]h[ng_

General Pro Painting & DrywallRalph - Supervisor

Residential & Commercial 630-885-7321 CelInsured & Bonded [email protected]

(815)514-5681

17 years Experience

THE SNOW WILL BEHERE BEFORE YOU

KNOW IT!

Advertise yourSnow Plow Services

in the Orange Peel Gazette

Contact Michelle at

815-751-1286

CURTISTOWING INC.

WE PAY CASHON THE SPOT!

7 DAYS AWEEK

24 Hrs 24 Hrs

WE BUY JUNK CARS WE BUY JUNK CARS FOR CASHFOR CASH

Any Condition • Running or Not • No Title - No ProblemAny Condition • Running or Not • No Title - No ProblemWe Come to You • Free Towing • Same Day Pick-upWe Come to You • Free Towing • Same Day Pick-up

(630)817-3577(630)817-3577

CCUURRTTIISS

Naperville www.CurtisTowingAndSalvage.com Aurora

Family Restaurant

With a minimumpurchase of $10

(before taxes) receive

$1 OFF* $10 order$2 OFF* $20 order$5 OFF* $35 order$10 OFF* $50 order

*not to be used with any other offer.

(630)892-11001700 S. Douglas Rd

Montgomery

Senior BreakfastMon - Fri

Welcome Home provides people who have moved with useful community information and FREE gifts from localmerchants: all to help you become familiar with the area.

Call or Text For a Visit -Batavia • North Aurora • Batavia/Mill Creek

Jennifer Zack • 630-229-2001

Moved Recently?We would enjoy meeting you!

- www.welcomehomebatavia.com -

Hello Autumn

HOUrSMon - Sat

5:30am - 10pmSunday til 9pm

Information gathered herein is from sources considered reliable. Accuracy however cannot be guaranteed. All humorous stories and jokesappearing here are intended for entertainment purposes only and are not

meant to disrespect or harm any group or individuals. Ads appearing in this paper are not to considered as an endorsement or validation by Orange Peel Gazette for products or services offered.

OPG 9-6-17_Layout 1 8/30/2017 10:42 AM


Hetts Auto SalesLooking for a quality used

vehicle? All our vehicles aresafety inspected, have a

carfax report and many arepriced in the

$3000 - $8000 range. View our inventory at

www.hettsautosales.comHetts Auto Sales is located

in downtown Oswego by theR/R tracks, “Our mission is

to give you a pleasurablebuying experience” and

remember owner, Ed and son, Matt are your friends

in the car business.Hetts Auto Sales

69 W. Washington St. (Rt 34)Oswego, IL 60543

630-554-9339www.hettsautosales.com

CASH PAIDWWII, WWI

Military uniforms,photos, weapons, medals,patches, helmets, posters,

souvenirs, & older firearms.630-215-3664

Garage Doors by CurtSales and Service

We Sell CHI DoorsLift Master Openers

(630)276-3453

BUYING

AUTOMOTIVE

The Right GuyCarpet Cleaning, Inc

Certified Cleaning for CarpetTile/Grout, Area Rugs,

Upholstery, RV’sResidential/Business/Rentals

www.TRGCarpetCleaning.comFor Reviews & Pics • 19yrs Exp.630-264-4369 Free Estimates

CARPET CLEANING

HANDYMAN

GARAGE DOORSEGGS FOR SALE

AL’S ELECTRIC(Semi Retired, but not Tired)

Licensed • 45 yrs ExpJust Call Al (630)514-6569

ELECTRICAL

Ed & Judie’s Chicken &Duck Egg Farm: Self Service

6S260 Hankes RdAurora (630)907-0775

Phil’s Cleaning ServiceNeed carpets cleaned?

R U Flooded? Best Prices Call 24/7 (847)800-7167

$125 Mixed Face Cord$150 Oak Face Cord

Free Delivery/Stacked630-907-0775 Ed

FIREWOOD

HANDYMAN-NAILS-ITHome Improve/Rpr/Maint

handyman-nails-it.com(630) 360-3039

DRYER VENTCLEANING

Prevent dangerous lint build-up that causes fires.A clean dryer vent allows

your clothes dryer to operate more efficiently,shortening drying time

& saving energy. SeniorDiscounts Available. Call

FUZZBUSTERS630-907-9643


CREDIT CARD PROCESSING

Over charged or under served?Free review of your current

credit card processing. Transnational processes forthe Orange Peel Gazette.

Call Charles 312-375-6691 Office help with computerskills. Must be organizedwith bookkeeping ability. Call Betsy 847-888-2001

Salon equipment perfect for home salon or update. rolling equipment stations,

hair chairs, shelves and more.

Call John 815-751-2496

For Sale Noritake China Bambina Pattern; Service for 6 + extra pieces. $149

847-836-0354

FOR SALE

HELP WANTED

WE HAVE THE CURE FORCH INE S I UM

Small Block Chevy StartersVirtually Bulletproof

Small or Big FlywheelOE Delco Remy Solenoid

HD Five Roller Drivew/Steel Internal Gears $149 - Call (815)756-9019

Cleaning Homes & OfficesMove in/out, Remodels

$25 off first time CustomerLety Cuevas 630-923-2766

CLEANING SERVICE

• Farm Windmill• 2 antique clawfoot bathtubs

• 2008 Triumph 850• 1975 Honda 650• Kawasaki 440

• Honda 350 DreamcycleCall 630-898-5320

CRAFTERS WANTED

Looking for Crafters for in-store and shows

in AuroraCall 630-809-1943 Knowledge in Construction

and tool usage. Valid driverslicense and good backgroundcheck. Speak English. JobTraining/fieldwork and li-censing $10 - $15 per hourdepending on experience.

Betsy 847-888-2001

FOR SALE

OPG 9-6-17_Layout 1 8/30/2017 10:42 AM


ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESTHE HOTTEST LITTLE PAPER IN TOWN • PAGE 15

PAINTING

Wanted to buy junk -Cars, Trucks, Farm

Equipment/MachinerySemi-Trucks Trailers

Free Pick UpCASH ON SPOT!(847)456-0974

Cash Paid for Old Fishing/Hunting

EquipmentCall Tim (630)327-1557

J & L BUILDERSBasement Finishing

Kitchen & Bath RemodelingFlood Damage Repair

Your Complete RemodelingService. Free Estimates

(630)334-1322J-LBUILDERS.COM

WANTED

RON’S QUALITY PAINTINGInterior - Exterior

Affordable & CleanOver 25 years experienceFree Estimates - Insured

(847)489-9907

Band Instruments: Cellos Open Hole Flutes, Trumpets

Double French Horns, Saxophones (847)951-7098

Sleeping Room $90/weeklyClean/Quiet, Non-smoking

Refrigerator accessAurora 630-247-1031

ROOM FOR RENT

Tree Pruning & RemovalCall ISA Certified Arborist

Joe (224) 789 - 8773Northern Kane & Dupage Co

www.ArborJoe.com

OFFICE SERVICESSuperb Office Services

• Computer Classes• PC Diagnostic / Repair• Business Cards / Flyers• Desktop Publishing

Elgin – (847) 741-1007Superbofficeservices.com

Bill’s Custom ServicesInterior/Exterior

Painting & Drywall Etc.Wallpaper hanging/removalOver 20 Years Experience

Free Estimates/Insured Now Offering Carpet Cleaning

(815)482-4155

Lanza Masonry Inc.Brick, Stone, Tile

Pavers Retaining Walls 847-833-3384

MASONRY

J & D TREE CARE815-517-5042

Tree Trimming & Removalwww.JDTrees.com

Fully Insured & Bonded

AGUAS REMODELINGAll Kinds of Repairs;

Electrical - WallsBathrooms - Kitchens

PaintingHabla Espanol

(847)809-1102 Jesus

T.J. MACHININGWelding • CNC Machine Work

Mower Deck Repair630-401-7355 • 630-345-2695

[email protected]

MACHINING

LAWN CARE SPECIALAerate $35 (48”Gate)

Fertilizer $59 (0-10,000)Overseed Free w/A & F

Beautiful Lawn & Tree Care630-585-0221

TREE SERVICE

LAWN CARE

Veronica &Audelia’sHouse Cleaning Services

630-506-2895630-935-5287

HOUSE CLEANING

HOME BUSINESSYou started working a job to

pay your bills, why not a business that pays you. Get

started now and work on yourown terms. A small investmentto get started. Work F/T or P/T.

Call me (630)906-9521

INDUSTRIALSPACE FOR RENT

Batavia, Sugar Grove, St. Charles & Woodridge office & warehouse space for lease, from 1,500sq ft to 12,000sq ft. For info Call Don 630-330-7637or Sarah 630-318-2341

Baker’s Window CleaningResidential/Commercial

(630)854-7716(630)859-7716

WINDOW CLEANING

General Housekeeper Wanted for Condo; light

laundry; Every 2nd TuesdayGilberts, IL (312)952-0550

HOUSEKEEPERWANTED

Next Issue Ad DeadlineSeptember 20 September 8

To appear in the next issue of the ORANGE PEEL GAZETTEcontact Michelle at (815)751-1286

The Bishop We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our

church, and several former pastors and the bishopwere in attendance. At one point, our minister had thechildren gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking, "Doesanyone know what the bishop does?"

There was silence. Finally, one little boy answeredgravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally."

REMODELING

HELP WANTEDWork Home/ FT/PTSales/Travel Agents

Lucrative Pay -We Train +Free Vac. Worldwide

Interview 877 677 8282

Sandwich Delivery DriversNo Experience required

18+ w/valid driver’s license847-289-5646

OPG 9-6-17_Layout 1 8/30/2017 10:42 AM

LOOK FOR OUR NEXT ISSUE ON SEPTEMBER 20, 2017


RECYCLEThinkOrange

ThinkCash

CASH for your ScrapSteel, Copper, Aluminum & Cars

Trucking & DumpsterService Available

“Helping To Keep America Pickedup for 40 Years” TM

R. Zimmerman301 Industrial Dr

DeKalb(815)756-8600

For Advertising: Michelle (815)751-1286 Email: [email protected] • Mailing: PO Box 703, DeKalb, IL 60115

Download your FREE copy: www.OrangePeelGazetteKaneCo.com

$50 Off

Trimming • Pruning • Stump Removal • GrindingCabling and Bracing Damaged Trees

Landscaping • Mulch Services • Firewood(630)677-2722 • www.HenryTree.com

Large TreeRemoval

Call for Details. Expires 9/30/17

ONLY$9900

$5000OFFOUR BACK-UP SUMPPUMP INSTALLATIONS

FREE JOB QUOTE

TAKE

TAKE

$5000OFF ANY NEW OUTSIDESPIGOT INSTALLED

License # 058-174863

www.benfranklinplumbernorthernil.com

ANY DRAIN CLEAREDProfessionally Clean Any DrainInside Your Home. Regularly $199

815-756-8484 Not valid with any other offer. One coupon per customer. Some restrictions may apply. Expires 9/30/17



If there’s any delay, it’s you we pay! TM630-262-8484

Call Ben Franklin Plumbing Today!

School Question Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?" Son: "I was the only one who could answer a

question." Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?" Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal?"

OPG 9-6-17_Layout 1 8/30/2017 10:42 AM

oorr aa nn gg e e ppee ee l l ggaa zz ee tt …...2017/09/06 · • tree removal • stump...

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