Partnering with Parents: The Best Investment a Parish Can MakeTom Quinlan (tquinlan@dioceseofjoliet.org)

Opening Prayer: The Road to Emmaus (Luke 24:13-35)

Come, Holy Spirit and renew the face of the earth.

Emmaus Offers Formative Model

Emmaus Model

Encounter

Understanding

Relationship

CONVERSION

Traditional Model

Understanding

Religious Practice

Faithful Living

DISCIPLESHIP

Parents TodayThe more impactful relationshipHow would you describe parents

today? Post-modernism and Parents

◦Julie – on the fence, wants to be revived

◦Kara – faith-filled and mostly gone◦Kyle – just wants sacraments◦Deirdre – can we clone her?

My Primary Pastoral/Catechetical PresumptionsThe full spiritual/religious well-being of

our parish families must be our focusThe Church has largely been successful

sacramentalizing; the Church has largely been ineffectual evangelizing

Decline in practice well-evidenced; decline now in even seeking sacraments

Evangelizing Catechesis is essential; catechetical leadership is largely and increasingly about evangelization

Your Wisdom for Partnering with Parents (submit now)What is your most effective

practice?

Name an effective practice from a parish in your diocese.

What is something you would love to begin at your parish?

Twenty Suggestions (PLUS ONE) for Partnering with Parents

Utilize Digital Resourcing to Form Parents in Faith ◦go to them, where they live…on their

computer, in their smart phone

Resource Parents in Helpful Ways Beyond Faith◦meet their real and felt needs…parenting,

marriage, finances, stress-management, etc.

Invite Families to Experience the Parish◦ devotions, liturgies (ie. blessing of pets,

Stations of the Cross), parish happenings (formation, service, social, etc.)

Use Electronic Communication and Social Media◦get the word out…this can assist with the prior

two points and the latter (Twitter and Facebook can work!)

Constantly Reinforce the Proper Context for Faith Formation◦Called to a life of prayer (including Mass) and

service; catechesis provides a foundation (only)

Listen To Them: The Pastoral Role of Catechetical Leader◦Become attentive to what they mean; be

intuitive to their needs and care about them; strive to grow in cultural sensitivity

Challenge Them Out of Apostolic Courage (Pope Francis’ term)◦Have the evangelizing conversation

(lovingly)

Outreach I: Seek the Marginal and Unaffiliated◦Intentional spring/summer outreach

Outreach II: Baptism and Beyond◦Create and sustain relationship to parish;

encourage faith practice in home and parish while the cement is still wet! (Habit formation: Cue, Rhythm, and Impact)

Create Opportunities for Parents to Participate (and Be Formed) In-Session◦With their children and in a parent faith

formation setting

Encourage Parents to Be Active in Their Child’s Learning at Home◦Texts need to be sent home and consumed

Empower Parents to Pray with Their Children and Share Faith◦Scripture, rituals and blessing

Coach Them Up◦Train them formally to confidently

embrace their role

Family Faith Totes◦One bag per grade that rotates among

families with special resources (specific to that grade) for parents and family

Say Yes Whenever Possible…◦No when necessary and don’t be afraid to

hold accountable…special circumstances, late registrations, conflicting activities, tuition and participation issues

Uphold the Values, Drop the Judgment◦Condemnatory attitudes and actions are

both inappropriate and ineffectual; ie.) Mass attendance

Affirm Positives and Celebrate Successes◦Reinforce good outcomes with personal

touches

Be A Talent Scout◦Recognize giftedness in parents and call

forth their gifts (Marie at St. Hubert)

Create A Culture of Relationship-Building◦An environment where not only leader-

parent relationships form but also catechist-parent, parent-parent, etc.

Plan and Goal-Set for Parent Partnering◦With parish leadership and with parents

Your Wisdom for Partnering with ParentsWhat is your most effective

practice?

Name an effective practice from a parish in your diocese.

What is something you would love to begin at your parish?

Plan With the End in MindWhat is the goal of parish faith formation ministry for children? Your goal?

◦A simple, profound and essential question◦Enormous implications◦Work backwards from your answer

Plus OneThe Preeminent Evangelizing Value:

Parent and Family Faith Formation Must Be At The Service of Fostering

Conversion

“Get the parents through the children” is fine and true, but to what end?

Parents can’t give what they don’t have; they are primarily candidates for evangelization today

Each of the twenty prior points must be read through this lens of evangelization/fostering conversion

Modalities for Parent and Family Faith Formation Whole community/parish

formation eventsFamily formation eventsParent formation sessionsParent coaching sessions with

childrenRetreats, evenings/mornings of

reflection

Modalities for Parent and Family Faith Formation Regular parish eventsRegional or diocesan eventsFamilies at homeFamilies sent out in serviceFormation content delivered

home (digital or paper)Small faith communities

(gathered or virtual)

Occasions for Parent and Family Faith Formation

Seasons and FeastsOrdinary Formation SessionsSacrament Preparation for

ParentsSacrament Preparation for

FamiliesSingular (Special) Occasions

Parent Sacramental Prep GatheringsRequire attendance

◦Video tape and hold accountableProvide a warm, hospitable experience

◦Not a meeting, an evening of reflection, or such

Make connections between life and Catholic faith◦i.e.) Reconciliation/forgiveness; Eucharist/meal◦Address their adult questions of meaning ◦The evocative power of story

Stress the importance of their bringing the faith home to their family◦Provide specific, simple, resourced practices

For ReflectionDo people believe their way into

belonging…or belong their way into believing?

What percentage of the last parent meeting could be considered evangelizing or designed to foster conversion?

Name something in your ministry/in the parish that seems effective in fostering conversion. Why does it seem effective?

Do I invite the Holy Spirit into my ministry?

For ReflectionHow do I perceive parents in the

program? How do parents perceive me?Do I encourage catechists to relate to

parents?Do I utilize the gifts of strong role model

parents to help to mentor other parents?How well do I resource parents? How?Am I able to keep my well full…

spiritually, physically, emotional…a.) abundantly filled? b.) adequately filled? c.) are you kidding?

Websiteswww.sadlierreligion.com/webelieve/gath

er.cfm

http://www.sadlierreligion.com/family.cfm

http://www.dioceseofjoliet.org/reo/◦Click on “Evangelizing Catechist Resources”

tab and please feel free to share Be an Evangelizing Catechist/Teacher-Catechist with catechists and Catholic school teachers. My gift to you!

Questions/Comments

Come Holy Spirit!Fill the hearts of your

faithful,And enkindle in them the

fire of your love.Send forth your Spirit and

they shall be created;And you shall renew the

face of the earth.