Hand in Hand for Education How Parents Help Children Succeed in School

Part 1Parent Guide,

Workbook, and Seminar Journal

"The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes." --Harold B. Lee

The content of this seminar is solely the responsibility of Kent and Ella Madsen. Our goal is to help parents create a strong tradition of learning and school success in the home We welcome comments and suggestions. Contact us at: s.kent.madsen@gmail.com.

v14 2-23-2013© Copyright 2013

Hand in Hand for Education—How Parents Help Children Succeed in School

Content Summary for Part 1—Parents Lay a Foundation for Learning The “learning panels” below summarize the content of Part 1 of an online seminar (accessible soon at www.parentingforschoolsuccess.org ). To view a particular panel and slides associated with it, go to the “Slide Show” menu, select “From Current Slide,” and then click on the panel of interest.

Welcome Panel Getting Started Overview of Part 1

Cultivating Positive Attitudes Fostering Good Work Habits

Building Academic Skills Embracing Spiritual Gifts

This is the Welcome panel. The next few slides provide an Overview of seminar content. At the end of the section, click “Back to Section Summary” (in slide-show mode) to come back to this slide.

Back to Part 1 SummaryTo Next Section Summary

Background

This PowerPoint presentation contains the essential content of an online seminar designed to help parents help their children succeed in school.

The online seminar, available soon for free at www.parentingforschoolsuccess.org, describes:• How parents can lay a solid foundation for school success from the earliest years. • How parents effectively guide and support their children through the school years.

Our initial plan was to target parents in low-income immigrant or first-generation families. However, every time we described our project to other parents, the response was the same: “We need that too!” And so, we broadened our focus .

After a couple of months spent examining the research (and reflecting on experiences with our own four children), we began to define major topics and look for material that could be used to teach basic concepts. We were absolutely blown away by the wealth of excellent videos, articles, brochures, and programs that we found—available to everyone—on the Internet.

The next ten months were spent:• Selecting those that best conveyed the principles we wanted to share . . . and then • Organizing and sequencing them, providing transitions, and developing exercises to

engage parents and encourage them to apply key principles in their homes.

Background (continued)

Note: In this presentation (and in the full seminar) we make extensive use of Internet videos. And so, for best results, you will need access to a good Internet connection. If you have no home connection or if the one you have is not fast enough to play the videos smoothly, try using computers at a local public library, business, church, or friend’s home. To do this without disturbing others, you may have to acquire a set of headphones.

We acknowledge the great contribution that organizations sponsoring these websites and materials are making to parents and families. There are far too many to list them all here.

Be aware that we have chosen to provide our personal (Mormon) religious perspective on a few of the topics because we think it is telling and important. But please recognize three things—the seminar is for everyone, we are solely responsible for its content, and we do not represent any particular organization, religious or otherwise.

We offer the seminar to you for two reasons: • First, we hope that it will be helpful• Second, we hope that you can help us improve it by providing feedback on content,

organization, and presentation.

We welcome (and invite) your comments and suggestions.

S. Kent Madsen, Ph.D., Romance Languages, Duke University ( s.kent.madsen@gmail.com ) Ella R. Madsen, M.S., Child Development, University of California, Davis

Why Education?

Education is the power to think clearly, the power to act well in the world's work, and the power to appreciate life. ―Brigham Young

He who opens a school door closes a prison. ―Victor Hugo

Seminar Purpose

• Describe parenting practices and home factors that contribute to school success.

• Help parents set goals and make plans to create a strong tradition of learning in the home.

• Identify challenges, obstacles, and opportunities at each level of schooling—from elementary school to college.

• Guide parents as they try to shepherd their children through each school experience to a better and happier life.

Seminar Importance and Content

View the following video about a young boy’s struggles at school. Then answer the questions below.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/n3R2byZtQ5MTo view the video, click on the link above. If that doesn’t work, (a) click on the “Slide Show” menu, (b) select “From Current Slide,” and (c) click on the link (in slide-show mode). To end the slide show, right-click anywhere on the screen, and select “End show.”

• What was most remarkable about the mother’s attitudes and actions in ensuring that her son got the help he needed at school? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

• Study the seminar content summary provided on the next four pages, and list topics you think will be of greatest importance to you and your family.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Seminar Outline

Getting Started: Four Basic Principles• Education is vital—we live to learn and grow• There are challenges, but we can overcome them• Parent involvement and family support are crucial to success• Parents need vision and focus: that is, they need to have clear goals and plans..

Part 1. From the Earliest Years, Parents Lay a Foundation for Learning • Cultivating positive attitudes and social skills• Fostering good work habits• Building academic skills• Embracing moral values and spiritual gifts

Part 2. Through the School Years, Parents Guide and Support• Working in partnership with teachers and schools• Helping children transition to and meet the unique challenges of:

Elementary School Middle School High School College

Getting Started: Basic Principles

Education Is Vital

There Are Challenges

Parent Involvement Is Crucial

Parents Need Vision: Goals and Action Plans

Part 1. From the Earliest Years, Parents Lay a Foundation for Learning

• Reading/Listening• Writing• Math• Learning Skills

• Faith• Repentance• Covenants• Inner change

• Responsibility• Discipline• Organization• Persistence

• Confidence• Empathy/Sociability• Gratitude• Curiosity

Cultivating Positive

Attitudes

Fostering Good Work

Habits

Building Academic

Skills

Embracing Spiritual

Gifts

Using the Parent Guide

This Parent Guide can be used as a textbook,workbook, reference/review tool, and seminar journal.

Refer to it often to: • Clarify, review, and fix important concepts in your mind• Complete assignments and exercises• Link to and make notes on video presentations and Internet articles• Capture important thoughts and insights• Find answers to questions, and dig into important topics on your own• Record personal goals and plans related to the content of each lesson• Find special helps for Spanish speakers.

You can either download/print the file out and work from a hard copy, or click “Save as” on the File menu to create a personalized electronic copy (and work from that).

In any case, take the Parent Guide seriously. Its main purpose is to help you translate seminar concepts into goals and action plans for positive change in your home. (See the next slide for examples.)

Think about It—What Do You Hope to Achieve as a Parent (and How)?

Your Goals (What?)

Examples. . . Help my children become: --Educated/skilled --Honest/moral --Happy/confident --Hard-working/steady --Kind/generous --Socially successful— able to make friends, work well with others, and establish long- term relationships

Your Plans (How?)

Examples for the education goal: --Read together more --Have more conversations --Go to the library --Pursue hobbies and interests --Explore/travel/attend events --Provide a place to study --Set a time for homework --Communicate with teachers --Monitor school progress --Drill math facts at home --Learn new words

Your Time Frame (When?)

For the listed education plans: --Twice a week --Every day during dinner --Weekly in summer --On Saturday afternoons --Once a month --Today --From 7 to 9 pm weekdays --Monthly --Weekly --While doing chores --On trips/at dinner

Back to Part 1 SummaryBack to Section Summary

Hand in Hand for Education How Parents Help Children Succeed in School

Getting Started: Four Basic Principles

This is the “Getting Started” section. It covers four principles underlying all seminar content. Click on the “View” buttons to go to material relevant to particular principles. At the end of each sub-section, click “Return to Section Summary” to come back to this slide

View

View

View

View

Back to Part 1 SummaryTo Next Section Summary

Questions to Ponder as We Begin

How important is education to your child's future? • What are the potential benefits of schooling?

• Economic? Social? Physical? ________________________________________• Emotional? Psychological? Spiritual? ________________________________________

________________________________________

• Will education influence:• Your children's future friendships?

________________________________________ • Their life experiences? How? ________________________________________• Their ability to serve others? How? ________________________________________• Their marriage choices? ________________________________________• The stability of their future families? ________________________________________• The lives of their children? How?

________________________________________

________________________________________• Could it affect:

• Their employment? Earning power? _________________________________________ • Job security? Benefits? Health? _________________________________________• Chances to serve/job satisfaction?

_________________________________________

Principle 1: Education is Vital—We Live to Learn and Grow

• Video: Five Ways Ed Pays (Launch slide show if needed; then click on the links below)

http://www.youtube.com/embed/spNDLD2KRuA

• Graph: Education affects life expectancyLife Expectancy at Age 25--by Education level--HUS11fig32.png

• Graph: Education brings higher earnings, stable employmenthttp://www.bls.gov/emp/ep_chart_001.htm

• Article: Gordon B. Hinckley, Seek Learninghttp://www.lds.org/new-era/2007/09/words-of-the-prophet-seek- learning?lang=eng&query=learning+faith

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. --Derek Bok

Take Action

1. Review and discuss the material on the previous page with your spouse or another parent.

2. Record on the journal worksheet (next page) any new thoughts, strong feelings, or personal resolutions you are inclined to make in response to what you have learned.

3. Print out copies of the Gordon B. Hinckley article.4. Give them to your children, and read them together or

individually.5. Schedule an hour with the family to talk about the article, the

importance of education, and how you might respond as a family to Hinckley’s counsel.

6. Record on the worksheet (next page) important ideas and plans.

“Take Action” Worksheet

Thoughts, feelings, and personal and family resolutions about “Seeking Learning” ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Why the Quest to Learn?

Learning is an eternal goal David A. Bednar has said:

The overarching purpose of our Heavenly Fathers’ great plan of happiness is to provide his spirit children with opportunities to learn. (Ensign, February 2008)

But to what purpose is our learning? Where will it lead us? What will it ultimately allow us to do?

Think about these questions, and record your answers below__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Learning Is a Commandment We are specifically challenged in scripture to:

• “. . . study and learn, and become acquainted with all good books,

• . . . with languages, tongues, and people.” (D&C 90:15) • “. . . seek . . . out of the best books words of wisdom . . .

seek learning, even by study and also by faith.” (D&C 88:118)

In more recent years, David O. McKay said:"The church stands for education. . . . Members . . . are admonished to acquire learning by study, and also by faith and prayer; to seek after everything that is virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy. " (Conference Report, April 1968, p. 93)

These are inspiring quotes You might want to print them out, post them in a prominent place in your home, and set a goal of memorizing one or more of them with your children

The book of Doctrine and Covenants clarifies (at least in part) why :“. . . if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience . . . he will have so much the advantage in the world to come.” (D&C 130:19

“Teach . . . diligently and my grace shall attend you, that you may be instructed more perfectly . . . in all things . . . both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth;• things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; • things which are at home, things which are abroad; • the wars and the perplexities of the nations, and the judgments . . . on the land; • and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms—that you may be prepared in all things when I shall send you again to magnify the calling whereunto I have called you . . . ” (D&C 88:78-80)

Learning Prepares Us for Worldly Workand Spiritual Service

". . . the world is competitive, more than it`s ever been. I believe men and women need to get . . . education which will enable them to meet the exigencies of life . . . to be prepared for a vastly broader scope [of work] than . . . ever . . . before.“ --Thomas S. Monson

Back to Section Summary

Principle 2. There are Challenges, But We Can Overcome Them

Remember Byron Pitts?http://youtu.be/JgDCSPHSg1s

Launch slide show and click link; then answer the questions below.

What obstacles and challenges did Pitts and his mother face?_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What were his proudest and most discouraging moments?_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ How did he eventually learn to read and excel in school? What did that mean to him? _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

More on Obstacles and Challenges

Based on this Byron Pitts video (and the earlier one), what role did his mother play in helping him overcome obstacles? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What are the obstacles and challenges your children face in getting an education? Make a list below, and give each challenge a ranking from 1 to 5, where 1 = very serious and 5 = not very serious.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Refine and expand your list of challenges by comparing it with ours (on the next page), and then rank any new items you add.

Reasons Why Young People Fail or Drop Out

Some drop out because of family and financial problems. "My father wasn't even a teenager when his father died and he became a door-to-door salesman. . . . There wasn't money for him to stay in school, and his family needed everyone to contribute their share."

--Emilio Estefan Others struggle with:

• Reading or writing• The English language• Numbers and math • Distractions at home or in school • Discouragement or lack of confidence• Handicaps and learning disabilities• Feelings of boredom, rejection, or isolation• Lack of understanding of “hidden rules” and teacher/school

expectations• The complexity of college application requirements and procedures

Assignment: Strengths and Resources

Do you believe your children can succeed in school?

Make a list of strengths and resources that they (and you) bring to the task. Examples might include:

• We are hard working.• We are determined and persistent.• We are smart and resourceful.• We can get help from friends, neighbors, relatives, our church, and other

organizations.• We can find mentors, tutors, teachers, and counselors to help us.• We have God-given powers to grow, learn, change, and improve.• Heaven wants us to succeed and will open doors for us as we do our part.

Compare your list of challenges and obstacles with your list of strengths and resources. The more clearly you (and your children) see your strengths and assets, the greater will be your confidence that education goals are attainable.

Assignment Worksheet: Strengths and Resources

List your children’s strengths and resources below._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Brainstorming Exercise:Overcoming Challenges

View videos by clicking on the two links below (in slide-show mode)

Lamar Johnson’s Grithttp://youtu.be/F4zvzTj6wlg

Comments of First-Generation College Studentshttp://youtu.be/FyJRiCWy7xo

Think creatively about how you might help your children imitate the students in the videos who overcame serious challenges and obstacles)

Brainstorm freely. And record on the next page all the ideas that come—even the crazy ones. Ideas feed on ideas, and even wild, seemingly impractical thoughts can sometimes suggest viable and effective strategies (as you continue to think about them over time).

Brainstorming Worksheet—Overcoming Obstacles

How might you help your children overcome the most serious obstacles to their school success?

Ideas:______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hope for School Success Can Spring from a Vision of Who We Are

We all have weaknesses and obstacles to overcome.But the scriptures paint an inspiring picture of our potential.

They speak of “fathers of our flesh” (our earthly parents) and a “father of spirits” (Hebrews 12:9). They suggest that we are dual beings--with a physical inheritance obtained from our earthly parents and an inner spiritual inheritance (a kind of spiritual DNA) received from God himself. We are not just weak mortals. We are sons and daughters of God—sent to earth to gain knowledge and experience.

It follows that, whatever our earthly backgrounds, we have untapped (and often unrecognized) spiritual gifts.

We possess, in embryo, at least some of our Eternal Father’s great qualities. He invites and challenges us to magnify them. This should give us a large measure of hope and confidence in all our earthly struggles.

Armed with this vision of our true identity, we (and our children) can embrace the hope of overcoming any challenges and obstacles to getting a good education. All it takes is commitment, attention, and effort. Back to Section Summary

Principle 3. Parent Involvement and Family Support Are Crucial to Success

Parent attitudes, expectations, and involvement are important to a child’s educational success.

Studies show that they affect school achievement at every level—more than material home circumstances or variations in school and classroom organization, instructional materials, and teaching practices.

This is why we should talk to our children often about education (and start early). This is why we should work hard to establish a learning partnership with each child (and with the schools).

Many parents shy away from getting involved with teachers and schools.

That approach results (on average) in a less than 30% chance for a college degree. Parents who do get involved and who encourage children to take more and more responsibility for their education can raise those odds significantly.

Assignment: Understanding theImpact of Parental Involvement

In slide-show mode, click on the Parent Involvement video and article links below, and then (based on the content) answer the questions posed on the next two pages.

Video: Parent Involvement in Educationhttp://youtu.be/-z-A77ybAuA

Article: Parent Involvement in Children’s Educationhttp://www.michigan.gov/documents/Final_Parent_Involvement_Fact_Sheet_14732_7.pdf

Article: The Importance of Mothershttp://www.billmuehlenberg.com/2009/05/05/the-importance-of-motherhood/

Article: The Importance of Fathershttp://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/fatherhood/chaptertwo.cfm

Article: More on the Fathers’ Rolehttp://msuextension.org/publications/HomeHealthandFamily/MT200008HR.pdf

What are the most consistent predictors of a child’s academic achievement?___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What are some effective ways parents can become involved? (List at least six.)______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Assignment Worksheet: Understanding theImpact of Parental Involvement

When should parents become involved (for best results)?___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What impact do parents’ expectations have on academic achievement?___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Assignment Worksheet: Understanding theImpact of Parental Involvement

Back to Section Summary

Principle 4. Parents Need Vision:Goals and an Action Plan

Goals and plans are important. They give us a vision of what wewant to accomplish and help us get moving—with discipline—in theright direction.

• As Yogi Berra put it (with tongue in cheek):“. . . if you don’t know where you’re going . . . you might not get there.”

We invite you to take Yogi’s point to heart as you complete each seminar lesson (including this one),:

• Review what you have learned—using the aids provided• Dig further into important topics (to find answers and get the big picture)• Define personal goals related to the major topics (and write them down) • Make plans to achieve those goals (write them down too). • Prioritize and specify a realistic time frame for implementation of your plans.

Change is hard, and you probably won’t succeed if you try to tackle everything all at once.

You can begin the process right now:• By reviewing lesson content, digging a little deeper to find answers to

questions, and creating a list of personal and family goals and plans related to this lesson. (Make good use of the tools provided on the next few pages.)

Lesson Summary:Getting Started—Four Basic Principles

1. Education is vital—we live to learn and grow• Learning prepares us for meaningful work and service• It can enhance security, health, wealth, family life, and job satisfaction

2. There are challenges, but we can overcome them• We have strengths and resources sufficient to the task:

• Determination, good work habits, personal strengths• Community and family ties• Spiritual gifts

3. Parent involvement and strong family support are crucial to success• Kids need guidance, example, and support• Parents should establish a working partnership with the schools

4. Parents need vision: goals and action plans• Clearer ideas about what good parenting is• Realistic goals and plans for your children and the home environment

Find Answers, Get the Bigger Picture— Dig into Key Lesson Topics on Your Own

Take a look at these reference links—and come back to them at the end of each lesson. They can help you deepen your understanding of important lesson topics.

Education.com• Educational activities and worksheets• Easy-to-read articles.• Insightful video content • A rich community that helps parents connect• Information on schools

Lakeside Union School District School Success Library (in English and Spanish)

http://www.lakesideusd.org/stories/storyReader$75

Includes dozens of tip sheets for parents on many different school-related topics --view topic list

University of ArkansasThe Parenting Journey

http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/default.htm

A collection of “Travel Guides” for Parents (in English and Spanish) addressing topics such as emotional and physical health, showing affection, understanding child development, building character and responsibility, encouraging a love of learning, teaching values, and serving in the community

The Family Journeyhttp://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/family/default.htm

A concise description of characteristics of strong families

Guiding Children Successfully (GCS)http://www.arfamilies.org/child_care/gcs/default.htm

Workshop on motivating kids, showing love, etc.

Enrichment Materials by Topic

More Tools for Digging

Reference bookshttp://www.Amazon.com

• Sharon L. Ramey, Going to School: How to Help Your Child Succeed.

• Madeline Levine, Teach Your Children Well: Parenting for Authentic Success.

• John R. Ban, PASS: Parents Assuring School Success.

Hundreds of Free Parenting Videoshttp://www.5min.com

Education: Catch the Dream (continued)Video 3—Introduction to the Program

http://youtu.be/ozJhgEqu0IQVideo 4—Dreams Card Sort

http://youtu.be/nei_0VAIhIw Video 5—Education Catches Dreams

http://youtu.be/ErBp-HezbQQVideo 6—Latino Stats

http://youtu.be/s-yaz9srJ3EVideo 7—Obstacles Card Sort

http://youtu.be/Rmg5fQCQbZcVideo 8—Resources Card Sort

http://youtu.be/2_OoZNpZcL8Video 9—Action

http://youtu.be/uwb8AuaC5BgVideo 10—You Can Do It

http://youtu.be/ppvyz9P3aL4

Education: Catch the Dream (A Fine Program for Motivating Hispanic Youth)Video 1—Background

http://youtu.be/uQSDPRRBCAYVideo 2—Motivational Theories

http://youtu.be/BRC-aFlGPgA

Check out these additional learning resources (now and as you work through the seminar).

Helps for Hispanic Parents

Summary of Goal-Setting and Planning Procedure

As you complete each lesson:

1. Review and deepen understanding of what you have learned.

2. Revisit your lists of education challenges, family and personal strengths and resources, and ideas for overcoming obstacles.

3. Then work with your spouse to translate these ideas into GOALS and PLANS that seem practical and important. (A worksheet for doing this is provided on the next slide.)

Documenting your goals and plans can bring discipline and action to what might otherwise be a passive learning experience.

It can put you in a position to bless your children’s lives by making positive changes in your home now.

Goal-Setting and Planning FormGetting Started—Basic Principles

Your Goals (What?)________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Your Action Plan (How)?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Time Frame (When?)________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Back to Part 1 SummaryBack to Section Summary

Hand in Hand for Education How Parents Help Children Succeed in School

Part 1:From the Earliest

Years, Parents Lay a Foundation

for Learning

This panel describes the four Part 1 Lessons. Back to Part 1 SummaryTo Next Section Summary

Overview of Part 1Many parents assume that the most important thing they can do to help children succeed in school is to focus on reading, writing, and math skills at home. While there’s no doubt that basic academic skills are very important, non-academic factors are equally important.

For example, consider the impact of:• Positive attitudes (confidence, hope, enthusiasm, curiosity, gratitude)• Social skills (the ability to relate to others, make friends, and work in groups)• Persistence, discipline, and good work habits• Moral values and spiritual gifts

Positive, confident children do much better in school than those who are negative, fearful, and depressed. Children who are socially mature are happier in school than those who are not. Children who are persistent, organized, and hard-working naturally accomplish more than those who are flighty, unfocused, and lackadaisical. Children with spirituality and a strong moral compass are blessed in many ways. And children with strong academic skills are likely to succeed—precisely because of those skills.

Part 1 will help you learn to build both ACADEMIC AND NON-ACADEMIC SKILLS at home.

Hand in Hand for Education How Parents Help Children Succeed in School

Lesson 1: Cultivating

Positive Attitudes and Social Skills

This is the Lesson 1 Summary. Four topics are addressed, and a fifth section, “Vision and Action,” provides review, enrichment, planning, and goal-setting tools.

To view material on each topic, click the “View” buttons above. At the end of each section, you can either continue on or click “Back to Lesson Summary” to come back to this slide.

View

View View

View

View

Back to Part 1 SummaryTo Next Section Summary

View

Cultivating Positive Attitudes and Social Skills— An Overview

How do positive attitudes affect school performance?

Confidence—believing in oneself—is an important contributor to school success. Confidence brings courage and motivation to engage and work in school. Fear and insecurity (the opposite of confidence) can paralyze children and set up roadblocks to exploration, growth, and learning.

Confidence is based on a positive vision of the future. Children who lack such a vision often plateau in the present and become self-indulgent rather than hard-working and productive.

Gratitude (the ability to recognize all the ways in which the glass is at least half full) builds cheerfulness, and a sense of well-being. These positive emotions carry over into school and other aspects of life, and they boost performance.

Curiosity can turn the work of school into fun and make education interesting and exciting. Over the long haul, curiosity is a more stable and compelling driver of school success than “show-off” or “competition” motives.

Overview (continued)

How do social skills, empathy, and “emotional intelligence“affect school performance?

School is, in large part, a social experience. Children who are quick to make friends and who feel comfortable working in groups will do better (and be happier) there.

Positive social relationships contribute to learning. If children are able to build positive relationships at school, they can learn as much from each other as from the teacher. And they will be happier and more engaged.

Empathy and emotional intelligence (the ability to recognize and understand what we and other people are feeling) are important to social success and therefore to school success.

Understanding one’s own emotions is an important aspect of emotional literacy. And it is a key to achieving self control. Thus, emotional literacy is correlated with good behavior and discipline in the classroom and at home.

Core message embedded in Lesson 1:

Parents need to find ways of building confidence, teaching gratitude, stimulating curiosity, and promoting sociability, empathy, and emotional literacy in the home.

How Parents Build Confidence

“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” --Mark Twain

“Whenever I came into the room . . . [my grandmother would]light up, so happy to see me. . . . One person is all it takes to give a kid confidence.” --Adriana Trigiani

Parents need to help children think more positively about themselves. But how? Parental statements to and about each child can be important in cultivating (or destroying) confidence.

For example, children who receive many more criticisms than compliments at home do less well in school. They come to equate that criticism with failure and often pin a failure label on themselves.

They carry the label with them into school and do not expect (or try) to do well. They may even come to resent direction or correction from any source.

Confidence can be built up or torn down by the tone of everyday conversations in the home.

• If you focus on the positive—giving children honest praise for the good things they do and for their hard work—they will be more inclined to work, achieve, and embrace a positive view of themselves and their future.

• If you flood their minds with negative comments and criticism, they are likely to become hesitant, listless, fearful, shallow, and self-indulgent—unwilling to embrace life’s challenges and take the risks crucial to learning, growth, and progress.

Be Positive and Generous with Praise

Self-confidence and an ability to face challenges without fear and anxiety are key contributors to school success.

Your goal as a parent should be to notice and praise your children’s real accomplishments. Catch them doing good things every day.

Assignment: Focus on the Positive

Enter results from the card here, and make an effort to do better and better each day.

Positive Comments Negative Comments

Week 1 _________________ ___________________________________ __________________

Week 2 _________________ ___________________________________ __________________

Put a card in your wallet or purse and for a week or two make a mark for each positive and negative comment you make to your children. At the end of the test period there should be many more marks in the positive column than in the negative.

If there aren’t, run the test again, and try harder to focus on the positive.

Assignment: Effective and Ineffective Praise

View the two videos and three articles below to find out what the experts have discovered. Take notes on what you hear and read. Let a day pass, and then review and reflect on your notes (and perhaps view the videos again).This is very important material.

How to Praise Childrenhttp://youtu.be/Wqo4c-FlFGE

Building Self Esteem in Childrenhttp://youtu.be/T3CD0_FGc_M

I Think I Can! I Think I Can!http://www.nasponline.org/publications/cq/pdf/V39N3_FT_Self-Efficacy.pdf

Self Efficacyhttp://www.education.com/reference/article/self-efficacy-children/

Praise Effectivelyhttp://www.incredibleyears.com/ParentResources/praise.pdf

Do you think that all praise is of equal power in building confidence and a sense of competence in your children? The people who study these things say no.

Notes on articles and videos______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What kinds of praise are harmful? What kinds are helpful? Why?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What is a sense of “self-efficacy”? And how might you foster it in your children?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Assignment Worksheet: Effective and Ineffective Praise

How Parents Teach Gratitude

View the following videos, and summarize the most Important points below.

Teaching Gratitudehttp://youtu.be/qGXXvoHUBLY

Change Your Kids’ Attitude with Gratitude http://youtu.be/FEmRw9ms85k

Important points_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

How Parents Can Boost a Child’s Social and Emotional IQ

View the following videos, and summarize the main ideas on the next page

Helping Kids Build Strong Social Connectionshttp://youtu.be/MzatPjH7bkg

Emotional Literacyhttp://youtu.be/I9xsr4Epd74

Children Learn What They Livehttp://youtu.be/EnpiagqQbjE

Read the following articles, and compare the content with that of the videos

Social Skillshttp://extension.oregonstate.edu/catalog/pdf/ec/ec1317-e.pdf

Foster Social Connectionshttp://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/raising-happiness/201004/topic-the-month-fostering-social-connections

Identify/Express Emotionshttp://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/familytools/teaching_emotions.pdf

Deal with Strong Emotionshttp://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/insight/insight.pdf

Worksheet: Boosting Your Child’s Social/Emotional IQ

Notes on social and emotional literacy________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kids need time to explore on their own and with their peers. Can you understand why that would be important?

Unstructured play time is crucial to your children's physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development. Check out this quote:

"Play is the most efficient driver of learning for children. This is as true of their cognitive development as their physical and emotional development. . . .

Seven-year-olds Tyler and John are playing “chase” on the playground during recess. While this may look simply like a good way to burn off energy and calories—which alone is enough to recommend it—it is also a highly sophisticated social transaction. In order for the game to continue, each boy has to be willing to be both the chaser and the chased. In other words, both boys have to be willing to cooperate in order to participate in this game. Chase is a reciprocal activity and ends the moment one of the boys stops reciprocating.

This ability to play reciprocally is a powerful predictor of academic success, as is the ability to empathize and cooperate. . . . (continued on next page)

(Excerpted from Teach Your Children Well—Parenting for Authentic Success, Madeline Levine, Ph.D., Harper Collins, 2012, pp. 79-80.)

The Value of Unstructured Play

Over the last twenty years, kids have lost close to two hours of play every day, most of that unstructured play. And it is unstructured play that provides the greatest opportunities for kids to be curious, creative, spontaneous, and collaborative.

In unstructured play, kids have to negotiate, they have to figure out how to settle differences, they have to learn how to cooperate, make the rules, and most important, learn how to “play by the rules.” Unstructured play, which should be part of every child’s life on a daily basis, lays the groundwork for social competence. . . . it is unstructured play that stimulates imagination, and it is imagination that is the underpinning of creativity, and, ultimately, innovation.“

(Excerpted from Teach Your Children Well—Parenting for Authentic Success, Madeline Levine, Ph.D., Harper Collins, 2012, pp. 79-80.)

Go out and Play (Video)http://youtu.be/Oh77DsoOU_U

Unstructured Play (continued)

Back to Lesson Summary

Be Warm, Positive, Authoritative, and Consistent—Expect a Lot of Your Children

What kind of parent are you? What is your parenting style?• Uninvolved?• Indulgent?• Authoritarian?• Warm and authoritative?

“Nobody rises to low expectations.” —Calvin Lloyd

“Children do not experience our intentions, no matter how heartfelt. They experience what we manifest in tone and behavior.” —Gordon Neufeld

These may seem like abstract terms, but the patterns of behavior they represent have a real impact on the development (or destruction) of attitudes and skills crucial to school success:

• Confidence• Openness• Motivation• Self-control

1. View these videos on parenting styles:Parenting Styles http://youtu.be/AGHyB9MsMhoParenting Styles http://youtu.be/4ZyhzYJAbJoFree-Range/Helicopter Parenting http://youtu.be/JcnO6eJGh9o

2. Read these articles on authoritative parenting:Parenting Styles

http://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting-style.htm

Authoritative Parenting = Balancehttp://www.extension.umn.edu/specializations/familydevelopment/authpar.html

Authoritative Parenting Definitionhttp://psychology.about.com/od/childcare/f/authoritative-parenting.htm

Responsive, Nurturing Parentinghttp://www.incredibleyears.com/ParentResources/responsive-parenting.pdf

3. Describe the benefits associated with a warm, authoritative parenting style_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Assignment: Understanding the Power of Warm, Authoritative Parenting

1. View two videos from a Responsive Discipline course (No. 2. Authority and No. 3. Limits)

http://www.youtube.com/user/casmith46

2. View video and documents about showing you care:100 Ways to Show Children You Care http://youtu.be/6-q-o388Zhg100 Ways to Show Children You Care (transcription of the video) 100 Ways to Show Children You Care.docxShowing Love http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/loveland.htm

3. Record ideas on how you might apply principles of authoritative parenting and responsive discipline in your home._________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Assignment: Responsive Discipline

Imagine that a stranger came to live in your home for a month and was able to witness all your interactions with your children.

Assignment: A Detailed Self Evaluation

Suppose that at the end of the month:(a) You gave him the lists of positive and negative

qualities shown on the next few pages, and (b) You asked him to rate you with regard to how often you

demonstrated each one: 1 = Never 2 = Rarely 3 = Occasionally 4 = Regularly 5 = Almost always

Go through the lists, and judge how an honest observer would rate you. If you don’t feel you can be objective, ask a close friend or family member to do the rating (emphasizing that you want honesty and candor, not flattery).

Your Positive Qualities (List 1)—Circle the Most Accurate Number for Each

How often do you: Never Rarely Occasionally Regularly Almost alwaysShow affection? 1 2 3 4 5Show acceptance? 1 2 3 4 5Encourage autonomy? 1 2 3 4 5Promote courage? 1 2 3 4 5Encourage achievement? 1 2 3 4 5Reinforce good habits? 1 2 3 4 5Stimulate thinking? 1 2 3 4 5Encourage social interaction? 1 2 3 4 5Listen reflectively? 1 2 3 4 5Show understanding? 1 2 3 4 5Show fairness? 1 2 3 4 5Appear relaxed? 1 2 3 4 5Show support? 1 2 3 4 5Build positive self-concept? 1 2 3 4 5Show respect? 1 2 3 4 5Give of self freely? 1 2 3 4 5Stimulate critical thinking? 1 2 3 4 5Control urges to be critical? 1 2 3 4 5Accept mistakes? 1 2 3 4 5Take time to train/teach? 1 2 3 4 5

Your Positive Qualities (List 2)—Circle the Most Accurate Number for Each

How often do you: Never Rarely Occasionally Regularly Almost alwaysActually act, not just talk? 1 2 3 4 5Show firmness without 1 2 3 4 5 dominating?Show consistency in 1 2 3 4 5 expectations?Model expected behavior? 1 2 3 4 5Love the child, but correct 1 2 3 4 5 the behavior?Show patience? 1 2 3 4 5Project happiness? 1 2 3 4 5Show consideration? 1 2 3 4 5Demonstrate trust? 1 2 3 4 5Model moral behavior? 1 2 3 4 5

How often do you/are you: Never Rarely Occasionally Regularly Almost alwaysCold? 1 2 3 4 5Punishing? 1 2 3 4 5Rejecting? 1 2 3 4 5Hostile? 1 2 3 4 5Rigid? 1 2 3 4 5Belittling? 1 2 3 4 5Critical? 1 2 3 4 5Unaccepting? 1 2 3 4 5Neglectful? 1 2 3 4 5Authoritarian? 1 2 3 4 5Nagging? 1 2 3 4 5Overprotective? 1 2 3 4 5Overindulgent? 1 2 3 4 5Reward fearful behavior? 1 2 3 4 5Suspicious? 1 2 3 4 5Reward immature behavior? 1 2 3 4 5Anti-independence? 1 2 3 4 5Pro-extreme-conformity? 1 2 3 4 5Controlling? 1 2 3 4 5Harm positive self-concept? 1 2 3 4 5

Your Negative Qualities—Circle the Most Accurate Number for Each

When you have finished with your self-evaluation:

• Review the results.• Make a personal commitment to work on any items in the positive lists with a

rating of 1 or 2.• Commit yourself to work on items in the negative list with a rating of 4 or 5.• Reevaluate yourself weekly on each of those targeted items.

Review Results, Take Action, Make Changes

Back to Lesson Summary

Parents Stimulate Curiosityby Welcoming Questions

Curiosity is an inner desire to understand—a passion for asking questions and finding answers.

Most children ask a lot of questions. It’s instinctive. And that's a good thing. Behind each question is a seed of wonder and interest, which we want to cultivate and encourage. But sometimes, the seemingly endless stream of questions gets on our nerves.

How do you typically respond to your children’s questions? How should you respond? There are at least three options:

• You can ignore them.• You can give them a quick answer and let it go at that.• You can take a personal interest in their question and work with them to find answers.

Which do you think would be the best strategy?

If you welcome questions and develop the habit of asking many yourself (and if you work with your children to find answers), they will likely join you in a lifelong quest for learning and education. If you don’t, the flame of curiosity may flicker and die.

“Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel.” —Socrates

Articles, Video, and Web Sites Questions and the Love of Learning

http://voices.yahoo.com/encouraging-children-love-learn-3349602.html?cat=25

Questions in Early Learninghttp://life.familyeducation.com/communication/family-time/36021.html?page=3

Why Do You Hiccup?http://youtu.be/gXyBNvD2B-g

Wonderopolis.orghttp://wonderopolis.org/wonders/

Curiosity—a Collection of Articles and Activitieshttp://www.scholastic.com/parents/search/tags?tag=curiosity

100 Questions to Ask Kidshttp://life.familyeducation.com/communication/family-time/36021.html?page=3

Questions and the Love of Learning

Read the articles, view the video, and familiarize yourself with the Web sites referenced below. Capture good ideas on how to nurture curiosity.

Back to Lesson Summary

Parents Stimulate Curiosityby Inviting Children to Explore the World

The world is a fascinating place. And somehow, we need to communicate that to our children.

School can be a great adventure. But in many cases it will only be so if we initiate them first into the joys of learning, discovery, and exploration.

The simple truth is that the more things we expose children to—the more we poke around with them, demonstrating openness to and interest in the world—the more likely they are to discover at some point what intrigues them. And then, the battle is won.

Can you think of some ways of exploring the world as a family?

Family Activities, Field Trips, and Outings

Here are some ideas:• Take walks, ask questions, and talk

about what you see• Read together, and pursue hobbies

and personal interests• Show your children how things work• Visit family and friends, and invite them tell you their stories and describe

their interests• Learn about your ancestors, and put a photo album together• Arrange for visits to fire stations, factories, mills, workshops, and

interesting local businesses• Attend concerts, shows, plays, and festivals• Visit museums, parks, historic sites, and scenic wonders• Take a trip or go on a picnic• Find Internet resources that can teach, inspire, and stimulate curiosity

Assignment: Family Outings

1. Think about the quote above.

2. View the four videos and "virtual tour" Web site below.Family Field Trip to Ganyard Hill Farm

http://youtu.be/XMlfUon3qoMFamily Field Trip to Washington, D.C.

http://youtu.be/i-O55gHAuXcH Is for Hot Air Balloon

http://youtu.be/UtvcR347Z2EFamily Field Trip to Dad’s Workplace

http://youtu.be/02IZqUjHqyUVirtual Tours of Scenic and Historic Places

http://www.theteachersguide.com/virtualtours.html

3. Then make a list of things you might want explore with your children over the next few months.

Take your time. Make a plan. Carry it out. And watch for the sparks.

“We can best help children learn . . . by making the world . . . accessible to them . . .”—John Holt

Back to Lesson Summary

Summary of Part 1 Lesson 1—Cultivating Positive Attitudes and Social Skills

Build children’s confidence:• Be positive and generous with focused praise• Praise effort, hard work, growth, and progress—

not raw intelligence or talent.• Blend high expectations with warmth and

responsiveness—adopt an authoritative parenting style, and practice responsive discipline

Teach gratitude• Help children keep a gratitude journal• Each evening, ask about “the three best things that happened today”• From time to time, encourage children write, deliver, and read out loud a

“gratitude letter” to someone they appreciate Foster social maturity, empathy, and emotional intelligence

• As a family, be sociable, interact with others, make time for unstructured play• Acknowledge strong emotions, become an “emotion coach,” teach self control

Nurture curiosity• Welcome questions and find answers together• Explore the world (and your community) together via regular family outings

Lesson 1 Review Questions and Exercises

Be Positive, People-Oriented, and Generous with Praise

1. Why are confidence, empathy, gratitude, and curiosity important to education success?2. Based on what you have learned, what kind of praise is most helpful and motivating in building

confidence in children and youth?3. What does it mean to have a sense of self-efficacy? Is it different from self-esteem? In what

ways? How do children develop a sense of self-efficacy?4. Are hope, optimism, gratitude, and positive views of the future important to personal

happiness, growth, and achievement? Why? In the family setting, do you generally project those attitudes? What could you do to improve?

5. One way of focusing on the positive in your home is to feel and openly express gratitude. You might want to plan a formal “Count Your Blessings” night in which each family member (including yourself) is invited to tell about things (or people) he or she is most thankful for.

6. Think about each of your children, and make a list of their recent accomplishments. Try to understand specifically what was behind each achievement (effort, practice, study, planning, determination, problem-solving, focus, persistence, thoughtfulness, etc.) Then acknowledge those things and praise your children for them.

7. How can you boost your children’s social/emotional IQ?

Lesson 1 Review Questions and Exercises (continued)

Blend High Expectations with Warmth and Responsiveness

1. How would you describe an authoritative parenting style (as opposed to an authoritarian style)?2. What impacts do authoritative and authoritarian parenting styles generally have on kids?3. What are the drawbacks to permissive and inattentive (or neglectful) parenting? 4. Think about your values, hopes, and goals for your children. Do you want them to become:

• Kind, generous, and moral (possessing a clear sense of right and wrong)?• Socially skilled (able to form friendships and work well with others)?• Independent (able to make decisions and take responsibility for themselves)? • Intelligent and educated (with skills to serve and build and contribute) ?• Physically healthy (with energy to work and serve)?• Happy (with enthusiasm for life)?

5. Analyze how these values, hopes, and goals are reflected in your parenting practices and current family rules, routines, and standards. Look for inconsistencies, disconnects, and arbitrariness. Work with your spouse to refine and focus rules, routines, and parenting practices on these goals.

6. Make it a point periodically to review family rules with your children. Respect and welcome their comments, and communicate freely your thoughts and the reasoning behind the rules. Emphasize that your focus will always be on what is right rather than who is right.

7. Work through the material on showing love effectively in “The Parenting Journey” In English: http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/loveland/loveland.pdf In Spanish: http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/loveland/FCS402SP.pdf

Lesson 1 Review Questions and Exercises(continued)

Welcome Questions—and Find Answers Together

1. Why should we view children’s questions as a good thing?2. How can we turn children’s questions from a burden and an annoyance into a pleasurable

bonding experience?3. Are you in the habit of asking yourself questions (and finding answers)? What would be the

value of getting into that habit?4. Go to http://Wonderopolis.org on the Internet, and click on the “Wonder of the Day” to preview

how the Web site works. Read the question of the day, view the related video, and read the short written explanation under the video. • Then search the topic list (lower right) for subjects you know your children are interested in.• Click on one or two topics, and make a note of several funky questions related to the topics.• Pose those questions at the dinner table sometime, and invite your children to view the

answers with you on the Internet. (You might even make this a daily or weekly “family question” ritual.)

5. Learn and show your children how to use reference books, libraries, Internet search engines (such as http://www.Google.com ) and encyclopedias (http://www.Wickipedia.com ) to look up answers to their questions. You might even find some interesting videos related to their questions on http://www/Youtube.com .

Lesson 1 Review Questions and Exercises(continued)

Explore the World around You

1. What kinds of things can children learn on “Family Field Trips”?2. What could they learn from a simple walk around the neighborhood?3. What could they learn by going to work with you?4. Learn about parks, museums, zoos, gardens, public buildings, monuments, and historic sites in

your local area, and make plans to visit some of them.5. If possible, invite each child to spend a day (or part of a day) at work with you. Show them and

talk to them about what you do.6. Explore hobbies and interesting careers together.7. Take your family to a play, concert, rodeo, sporting event, or parade and talk about it afterward.

Find Answers, Get the Bigger Picture— Dig into Key Lesson Topics on Your Own

Take a look at these reference links now—and come back to them at the end of each lesson. They can help you deepen your understanding of important lesson topics.

Education.com• Educational activities and worksheets• Easy-to-read articles.• Insightful video content • A rich community that helps parents connect• Information on schools

Lakeside Union School District School Success Library (in English and Spanish)

http://www.lakesideusd.org/stories/storyReader$75

Includes dozens of tip sheets for parents on many different school-related topics --view topic list

University of ArkansasThe Parenting Journey

http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/default.htm

A collection of “Travel Guides” for Parents (in English and Spanish) addressing topics such as emotional and physical health, showing affection, understanding child development, building character and responsibility, encouraging a love of learning, teaching values, and serving in the community

The Family Journeyhttp://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/family/default.htm

A concise description of characteristics of strong families

Guiding Children Successfully (GCS)http://www.arfamilies.org/child_care/gcs/default.htm

Workshop on motivating kids, showing love, etc.

Enrichment Materials by Topic

More Tools for Digging

Reference bookshttp://www.Amazon.com

• Sharon L. Ramey, Going to School: How to Help Your Child Succeed.

• Madeline Levine, Teach Your Children Well: Parenting for Authentic Success.

• John R. Ban, PASS: Parents Assuring School Success.

Hundreds of Free Parenting Videoshttp://www.5min.com

Education: Catch the Dream (continued)Video 3—Introduction to the Program

http://youtu.be/ozJhgEqu0IQVideo 4—Dreams Card Sort

http://youtu.be/nei_0VAIhIw Video 5—Education Catches Dreams

http://youtu.be/ErBp-HezbQQVideo 6—Latino Stats

http://youtu.be/s-yaz9srJ3EVideo 7—Obstacles Card Sort

http://youtu.be/Rmg5fQCQbZcVideo 8—Resources Card Sort

http://youtu.be/2_OoZNpZcL8Video 9—Action

http://youtu.be/uwb8AuaC5BgVideo 10—You Can Do It

http://youtu.be/ppvyz9P3aL4

Education: Catch the Dream (A Fine Program for Motivating Hispanic Youth)Video 1—Background

http://youtu.be/uQSDPRRBCAYVideo 2—Motivational Theories

http://youtu.be/BRC-aFlGPgA

Check out these additional learning resources (now and as you work through the seminar).

Helps for Hispanic Parents

Goals and Plans for Lesson 1:Cultivating Positive Attitudes

Part 1 Lesson 1

Your Goals (What?)________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Your Action Plan (How)?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Time Frame (When?)________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Back to Part 1 SummaryBack to Lesson Summary

Hand in Hand for Education How Parents Help Children Succeed in School

Lesson 2: Fostering Good

Work Habits

This is the Lesson 2 Summary. Four topics are addressed, and a fifth section, “Vision and Action,” provides review, enrichment, planning, and goal-setting tools.

To view material on each topic, click the “View” buttons above. At the end of each section, you can either continue on or click “Back to Lesson Summary” to come back to this slide

View

View

View

View

View

Back to Part 1 SummaryTo Next Section Summary

Fostering Good Work Habits—Responsibility, Discipline, Organization, Persistence

Teaching responsibility

We all want our children to become hard-working, responsible adults:

• To be dutiful and independent• To be organized• To do hard things (such as go to college)• To stick with important jobs until they are completed.

But in subtle and not so subtle ways, we sometimes deprive them of the experience of doing these very things during the growing-up years.

“The most important thing parents can teach their children is how to get along without them.” —Frank Clark

How could that happen? What would motivate it? What would be the likely consequence?

As you peruse the material below (and on the next page), take notes and think about how you might give your children more experience and encouragement in:

• Making good choices• Experiencing consequences• Accepting responsibility• Working hard • Solving problems and overcoming obstacles• Persevering with difficult tasks until they are

completed• Experiencing the joy of achievement

Teach via Chores, Choices, and Consequences

ArticlesAge-Appropriate Chores

http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/chores-for-childrenGiving Children Choices

http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/character/giving_children_choices.htmNatural Consequences

http://childparenting.about.com/library/weekly/aa102703a.htmChore Charts

http://orgjunkie.com/2009/05/free-printable-responsibility-chore-charts.html

Videos

10 Easy Chores for Teenshttp://youtu.be/D8bpY8zzaQw

5 Tips to Make a Kids’ Chore Charthttp://youtu.be/XcQ1RtuhoFk

How to Teach Children to Be Responsible?http://youtu.be/WyZcoiYZxmE

How to Motivate Kids to Do Choreshttp://youtu.be/SU_yWD3poU0

Teaching Middle-Schoolers Responsibility and Independence

http://youtu.be/jlmn4zhzcwUConsequences Are Essential

http://youtu.be/rW3wqYE2yfE Using Logical Consequences

http://youtu.be/KukQfLvgCk8 How to Raise Responsible Kids

http://youtu.be/KYnJCJVtEUw

Chores, Choices, and Consequences (continued)

Chores, Choices, and Consequences (Notes)

Notes_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Back to Lesson Summary

What is the value of establishing and maintaining family rules and routines?

Rules and routines give children a sense of order, organization, security, control, and predictability. Examples include behavior rules, morning routines, after-school routines, meal times, bed times, and limits on TV or other media.

Although children may chafe against rules and structure from time to time, they reap significant benefits. Children from families with consistent standards and routines do better in school and in other arenas. Rules and routines seem to prepare them for the structure of classrooms and work and social environments.

Teach via Family Rules/Routines

“A child wants some kind of undisrupted routine or rhythm. He seems to want a predictable, orderly world.”

—Abraham Maslow

What kinds of rules and routines would be helpful in your home?

Rules for:• Meal times? • Bed times?• Study times?• Chore times?• Play times?• Reading times? • Family meetings and activity

times?• TV and other electronic media?

Check out the links on the next page for more ideas and suggestions.

Establishing Family Rules and Routines

LinksSample Family Rules

http://www.drrobynsilverman.com/parenting-tips/family-rules-top-10-rules-to-post-on-your-fridge/

Teaching Responsibility through Rules/Routineshttp://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/character.htm

Rules, Rituals, and Routineshttp://mothering.com/parenting/rules-rituals-and-routines?page=0,0

Road Map for Establishing Rules and Routineshttp://www.learningseed.com/_guides/1303_rules_rituals_routines_guide.pdf

Family Rules/Routines (Charts/Templates/Tips)http://www.incredibleyears.com/Resources/basic_school-age_program-10-handouts.pdf

Establishing Family Rules and Routines (continued)

Family Rules Definition WorksheetUse this worksheet to consider potential family rules. If you decide a rule is needed in a topic area, phrase it in the positive, rather than the negative. For example, “Eat only in the kitchen” means the same thing as “No eating in any room with a rug,” but it tends to be more “friendly.”

Household responsibility and participation _________________________________________________

Mealtimes_________________________________________________

Snacking_________________________________________________

Other food concerns_________________________________________________

Privacy_________________________________________________

Language_________________________________________________

TV and video games_________________________________________________

Homework _________________________________________________

Other school issues_________________________________________________

Indoor physical activity_________________________________________________

Extracurricular activities_________________________________________________

Sibling behavior_________________________________________________

Forbidden activities_________________________________________________

Telephone _________________________________________________

Establishing Family Rules and Routines (continued)

Computer and Internet use_______________________________________________

Reading_______________________________________________

Pets and pet care_______________________________________________

Allowance_______________________________________________

Earnings_______________________________________________

Savings_______________________________________________

Family functions_______________________________________________

Guests_______________________________________________________________________

Establishing Family Rules and Routines (continued)

Family Rules Definition Worksheet (contd)

Permissions_________________________________________________

Modesty_________________________________________________

Car_________________________________________________

Smoking, alcohol, and other drugs_________________________________________________

Curfew_________________________________________________

Dating_________________________________________________

Sexual activity_________________________________________________

Guests_________________________________________________________________________

Back to Lesson Summary

Prize Effort, Practice, and Personal Progress—Help Children Experience the Joy of Growth

Links to view and ponder

What Is a “Growth Mindset”http://mindsetonline.com/whatisit/about/index.html

Fostering Growth Mindsetshttp://youtu.be/o-SaTBg5eIc

Prizing Efforthttp://youtu.be/2cB5yUPFLKI

Letting Go of Being Perfecthttp://youtu.be/mAlg3BY2DJI

“Every mountain top is within reach if you just keep climbing.” —Barry Finlay “Let failure be [a] . . . workshop. See it for what it is; the world walking [us] . . . through a tough but necessary semester, free of tuition.” —Steven Heighton

Fixed and Growth Mindsets

Back to Lesson Summary

GritOne quality associated with educational success is "grit," which has been described as "perseverance and a passion for long-term goals." Gritty people possess persistence of motive and effort. They are more focused on winning the marathon than the sprint. Individuals with grit are able to maintain their determination and motivation over long periods of time despite experiences with failure and adversity. Their passion and commitment to a long-term objective is what provides the stamina required to stay the course. But how does a child develop grit? In slide-show mode, click on the links below (and on the next page) for some good ideas:

Raising Gritty Kidshttp://happyfamiliesblog.blogspot.com/2011/06/raising-gritty-kids.html

Achievement Motivationhttp://youtu.be/6Jsui7ppoFw

Five Lessons on Self-Discipline for Kidshttp://learningtogive.org/lessons/unit538/

Impart the “Gift of Grit”— Achievement Motivation, Self-Discipline, Persistence

“I will is more important than IQ.” —Marva Collins

Check out these documents

Activities That Teach PerseveranceActivities That Teach Perseverance

Activities That Teach Planning and OrganizationActivities That Teach Planning and Organization

The Power of Deferred Gratification (Article and Links) Deferred Gratification (Article and Links)

Raising “Gritty Kids” (continued)

Back to Lesson Summary

Summary of Lesson 2— Fostering Good Work Habits

Teach via Chores, Choices, and ConsequencesTeach children to work by giving them regular responsibilities at home.From the earliest years, invite them to make age-appropriate choices.Allow them to experience the logical and natural consequences of their actions.

Teach via Family Rules and RoutinesEstablish family rules that reflect your values and goals.Establish routines and structure in the home (to help children learn discipline, responsibility, and organization).

Prize Effort, Practice, and Personal ProgressPraise and reward effort.Embrace a growth (rather than a fixed) mindset.Recognize that failure can be a powerful teacher.

Impart the “Gift of Grit”—Achievement Motivation, Self-Discipline, Persistence

Teach values of achievement, persistence, self control, and delayed gratification.

Lesson 2 Review Questions and Exercises

Teach via Chores, Choices, and Consequences

1. What are some common mistakes parents make in trying to get kids to do chores?2. What are some ways of getting the children’s cooperation in doing chores?3. According to the articles you read in going over this lesson, what are some chores

suitable for an 8- or 9-year-old?4. Should very young children be allowed to make choices? Why or why not?5. What should you do if your children make choices that you consider to be foolish?6. What is the difference between a natural consequence and a logical consequence?7. Under what circumstances should you (a) allow natural consequences to teach

your child, or (b) step in to impose a logical consequence? 8. Review the material on giving children choices in “The Parenting Journey”:

In English or Spanish: http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/discovery/discovery_point.pdfhttp://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/discovery/FCS405SP.pdf

9. Hold a family meeting in which you talk about chores, choices, and consequences.10. With input from your children, create a chore chart, post it in a prominent place,

and use it as a tool to help your children develop practical skills and feel responsible for certain household functions.

Teach via Family Rules and Routines

1. Critique your current family rules.2. Explain why rules and their enforcement must be discussed with your children.3. Explain why rules must be consistently enforced.4. In one of the articles you read, Thomas Knestrick said: “I believe that routines

are . . . the fundamental building blocks of self-discipline and self-monitoring.” What do you think he meant by that?

5. Explain why predictability is important for children and families.6. What are family “rituals”? How do they differ from routines? And why are they

important?7. Describe the process you might go through in developing and implementing a

new set of family rules aligned with your values.8. List three routines that you would like to implement in your home, and explain

what impact they would have on you and your family.9. Explain what “rituals” you would like to implement with your family and how they

might help your children.

Lesson 2 Review Questions and Exercises (contd.)

Prize Effort, Practice, and Personal Progress—Help Kids Experience the Joy of Growth

1. What is a “growth mindset”?2. How does it differ from a “fixed mindset”?3. How does a growth mindset affect a child’s attitude toward challenges, obstacles,

effort, failure, criticism, and the success of others?4. Describe the “perils of perfectionism.” 5. Think of ways you could communicate to your children the dignity, joy, and value of

sustained work, effort, and practice over long periods of time.6. Map out a strategy now for reacting to your child’s failures—communicating

effectively the idea that failure is not fatal—that it is a part of life, that we can learn from it, pick ourselves up, and move on.

Lesson 2 Review Questions and Exercises (contd.)

Lesson 2 Review Questions and Exercises (contd.)

Impart the “Gift of Grit”—Achievement Motivation, Self-Discipline, and Persistence

1. What is “delayed gratification”?2. What is “impulse control”?3. How does discipline differ from self-discipline?4. What is the difference between “self-discipline” and “self-motivation”5. What is the role of goals in self-motivation?6. What role does organization play in the attainment of goals?7. Describe some activities you might use in your home to teach persistence.8. Review material on values and family traditions in “The Parenting Journey”

(available in English or Spanish): http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/reunion/reunion_springs.pdfhttp://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/reunion/FCS406SP.pdf

Find Answers, Get the Bigger Picture— Dig into Key Lesson Topics on Your Own

Take a look at these reference links now—and come back to them at the end of each lesson. They can help you deepen your understanding of important lesson topics.

Education.com• Educational activities and worksheets• Easy-to-read articles.• Insightful video content • A rich community that helps parents connect• Information on schools

Lakeside Union School District School Success Library (in English and Spanish)

http://www.lakesideusd.org/stories/storyReader$75

Includes dozens of tip sheets for parents on many different school-related topics --view topic list

University of ArkansasThe Parenting Journey

http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/default.htm

A collection of “Travel Guides” for Parents (in English and Spanish) addressing topics such as emotional and physical health, showing affection, understanding child development, building character and responsibility, encouraging a love of learning, teaching values, and serving in the community

The Family Journeyhttp://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/family/default.htm

A concise description of characteristics of strong families

Guiding Children Successfully (GCS)http://www.arfamilies.org/child_care/gcs/default.htm

Workshop on motivating kids, showing love, etc.

Enrichment Materials by Topic

More Tools for Digging

Reference bookshttp://www.Amazon.com

• Sharon L. Ramey, Going to School: How to Help Your Child Succeed.

• Madeline Levine, Teach Your Children Well: Parenting for Authentic Success.

• John R. Ban, PASS: Parents Assuring School Success.

Hundreds of Free Parenting Videoshttp://www.5min.com

Education: Catch the Dream (continued)Video 3—Introduction to the Program

http://youtu.be/ozJhgEqu0IQVideo 4—Dreams Card Sort

http://youtu.be/nei_0VAIhIw Video 5—Education Catches Dreams

http://youtu.be/ErBp-HezbQQVideo 6—Latino Stats

http://youtu.be/s-yaz9srJ3EVideo 7—Obstacles Card Sort

http://youtu.be/Rmg5fQCQbZcVideo 8—Resources Card Sort

http://youtu.be/2_OoZNpZcL8Video 9—Action

http://youtu.be/uwb8AuaC5BgVideo 10—You Can Do It

http://youtu.be/ppvyz9P3aL4

Education: Catch the Dream (A Fine Program for Motivating Hispanic Youth)Video 1—Background

http://youtu.be/uQSDPRRBCAYVideo 2—Motivational Theories

http://youtu.be/BRC-aFlGPgA

Check out these additional learning resources (now and as you work through the seminar).

Helps for Hispanic Parents

Goals and Plans for Lesson 2:Fostering Good Work Habits

Part 1 Lesson 1

Your Goals (What?)________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Your Action Plan (How)?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Time Frame (When?)________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Back to Part 1 SummaryBack to Lesson Summary

Hand in Hand for Education How Parents Help Children Succeed in School

Lesson 3: Building

Academic Skills

This is the Lesson 3 Summary. Five topics are addressed, and a sixth section, “Vision and Action,” provides review, enrichment, planning, and goal-setting tools.

To view material on each topic, click the “View” buttons above. At the end of each section, you can either continue on or click “Back to Lesson Summary” to come back to this slide.

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Back to Part 1 SummaryTo Next Section Summary

Building Academic Skills—Reading, Writing, Working with Numbers

The most obvious thing parents can do at home to help children succeed in school is to promote basic academic skills: • Speaking and listening (comprehending spoken language)• Recognizing letters, numbers, and printed words• Reading stories and articles and understanding the content.• Counting and working with numbers and math concepts.

Children learn spoken language from their parents. And the process begins at birth. Every conversation, every word spoken, every nursery rhyme recited, and every story told adds to vocabulary and understanding that can translate into success at school.

Parents who own books, treasure them, give them as gifts, go to the library with their children, and read regularly to and with them pass on a priceless legacy. Written language can be taught and reviewed on a daily basis by pointing out words and phrases on billboards, signs, cereal boxes, storefronts, etc., as well as in magazines, newspapers, and books.

Counting and math concepts can be taught and reinforced in the context of everyday activities (cooking, sewing, shopping, building, measuring, drawing, doing crafts, etc.).

Surprise! You Can Build AcademicSkills by Having Dinner Together

Ronald Reagan once said: “All great change . . . begins at the dinner table.”

Family researchers agree. Laurie David, producer and author of “The Family Dinner: Great Ways to Connect with Your Kids,” (2010) claims that:

“Basically, everything a parent worries about can be improved by the simple act of sitting down and sharing a meal.”

Miriam Weinstein, author of “The Surprising Power of Family Meals,” (2005) writes:

“Better grades, healthier eating habits, closer relationships to parents and siblings, ability to resist negative peer pressure, resilience in the face of life's problems — all these are outcomes of simply sharing dinner on a regular basis . . . . Experts everywhere agree: sharing meals helps cement family relationships [and build skills of many different kinds]

“. . . family meals . . . are the single most important activity . . . to enhance the life of children.”--Dr. William Doherty

View the following videos and read the article. Make notes on what you learn.

The Value of Family Dinner (Part 1)http://youtu.be/9ETtdZZS6iw

The Value of Family Dinner (Part 2)http://youtu.be/aHOEddf9fv0

The Importance of Eating Togetherthefamilydinnerproject.org/resources/faq/

Notes:______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

But How Does That Happen?

Dinner-Time Conversation Is Important

You might want to address certain topics on a regular basis. For example:

• What were the three best things that happened today? The three worst things?

• Did you find a way to help someone out today? (Assuming that has been a family goal you’ve all agreed upon)

Parents can emphasize the importance of education with a four-step routine:

• Ask the child: "What did you learn today?" followed by "What else?" Get the child to talk.

• Reinforce the importance of what they are learning. For example: "That sounds important; I wish I had learned things like that when I was in school." or: "You know, I have used that skill (or information) many times in my life." (Give examples.)

• Ask the child, "Do you need any help with what you have been learning?" Then either provide the help needed or access whatever facilities the school may offer for helping students. If no help is available from the school, get it from people you know: friends, relatives, or neighbors.

• Throughout the conversation, make sure the child does at least half the talking. Two-way conversations about school can have a powerful impact. Remember, you are trying to build a parent-child partnership for school success.

School Can Be One of Many Conversation Topics

Back to Lesson Summary

Videos and Articles

Using the Libraryhttp://Youtu.be/LQYJ1QGk0Oo

Helping Your Child Use the Libraryhttp://www2.ed.gov/pubs/parents/Library/index.html

Library Services for Childrenhttp://www.readingrockets.org/article/130/

Build Academic Skills byGoing Regularly to the Library

"The richest person in the world . . . couldn't provide . . . anything like the endless, incredible loot available at your local library." --Malcolm Forbes “We may sit in our library and yet be in all quarters of the earth.” —John Lubbock

Back to Lesson Summary

Establish

View Videos

The Importance of Reading Aloudhttp://youtu.be/2HThtiOkD2k

How to Read Out Loud with Your Preschoolerhttp://youtu.be/sZSlUVrCJRo

How to Read Out Loud with Your Preteenhttp://youtu.be/hBhEsdy6vgY

The Importance of Reading to Childrenhttp://www.5min.com/Video/Importance-of-Reading--to-Children-264565128

Build Academic Skills byEstablishing a Family Reading/Writing Time

“Children become readers on the laps of their parents.” —Emilie Buchwald

Review Web Documents

Fun, Effective Ways to Read with Childrenhttp://www.colorincolorado.org/families/home/funways/

Helping Children Read (English and Spanish)http://www.colorincolorado.org/families/

Family Writing Activitieshttp://www.mrsgoldsclass.com/WritingActivities.htm

Helps from Scholastic Parent/Child Magazinehttp://www.scholastic.com/parents/

The Family Reading/Writing Time (continued)

Back to Lesson Summary

Use Everyday Activities to FosterWord, Number, and Learning Skills

View Videos

Teaching Moments (Video Series)http://www.scholastic.com/parents/videos

“Smart is just time on task; it’s repetition and support.” —Nicole Blake

Learning How to Learn

Building Academic Skills (Prentice-Hall Academic Success) http://www.prenhall.com/success/StudySkl/reading.html

Learning to Learn—Activities and Handoutshttp://www.literacynet.org/icans/chapter03/index.html

Multiple Intelligenceshttp://www.casacanada.com/cande.html

Helping Your Child Succeed at Learninghttps://store.aces.edu/ItemDetail.aspx?ProductID=13695

Finding Your Child’s Learning Stylehttp://www.scholastic.com/familymatters/parentguides/backtoschool/quiz_learnstyles/

10 Ways to Motivate Your Child to Learnhttp://www.scholastic.com/resources/article/10-ways-to-motivate-your-child-to-learn

Motivating Learning in Young Childrenhttp://www.nasponline.org/resources/home_school/earlychildmotiv_ho.aspx

Use Everyday Activities to Foster Word, Number, and Learning Skills (continued)

Back to Lesson Summary

Make Time for Play

Learning Through PlayPlay Is How Children Learn

http://www.4children.org/issues/2007/may_june/play_itrsquos_the_way_young_children_learn/

Learning through Playhttp://www.ag.ndsu.edu/pubs/yf/famsci/fs1430.pdf

Kids (and Adults) Benefit from Playhttp://www.helpguide.org/life/creative_play_fun_games.htm

Learning and Playhttp://www.education.com/topic/child-play-importance/

Gameshttp://www.education.com/results/?q=Whats+Game

Benefits of Board Gameshttp://www.scholastic.com/resources/article/the-benefits-of-board-games/

Games to Play with Nameshttp://www.scholastic.com/resources/article/10-games-to-play-with-names/

“Play is the highest form of research.” —Albert Einstein

Learning Through Play (continued)

Go out and Playhttp://youtu.be/Oh77DsoOU_U

Toys and Trends, Age-by-Age Toy Guidehttp://www.toyinfo.org/

The Problem Sitehttp://www.theproblemsite.com/games.asp

PBS Kids Activity Searchhttp://www.pbs.org/parents/fun-and-games/pbs-kids-activity-search/

Make Time for Play (continued)

Back to Lesson Summary

Summary of Lesson 3—Building Academic Skills

Have Dinner Together

Get to Know the Local Library

Establish a Regular Family Reading/Writing Time

Use Everyday Activities to Foster Word, Number and Learning Skills

Make Time for Play

Lesson 3 Review Questions and Exercises

Have Dinner Together

1. What are the positive impacts of eating dinner together as a family at least five times a week?

2. How does eating dinner together regularly affect language and vocabulary? School performance? Health? The incidence of problem behaviors? Family solidarity?

3. List some dinner-time conversation starters for children of different ages.4. List some possible dinner-time game and activity ideas?5. What are some ways of encouraging everyone young and old to participate

willingly in family dinners.6. Try sharing tidbits of family history and family lore at the dinner table.7. Try talking about things each person is grateful for.8. Describe the positive impacts of saying grace or offering a blessing on the food

(and adopt the practice if you haven’t already).

Get to Know the Local Library

1. What are the benefits of taking your children to the library regularly?Should toddlers and preschoolers be taken to the library? Why?

2. What kinds of things can you get at a library besides books?3. Describe services offered by some libraries for preschoolers, school-age children,

and teenagers.4. Why might you want to take your children to the library even more often during

the summer-time?5. Take your children to the library and get them their own library card.6. Check out books yourself, and show them that you are committed to reading.

Lesson 3 Review Questions and Exercises (continued)

Establish a Family Reading/Writing Time

1. What is the value of reading to children before they can read themselves?2. What is the value of continuing to read to children after they can read

themselves?3. What are some things that you can do (beyond just reading the words) to make

the experience of reading together fun and educational?4. What are some good ways of encouraging reading in your home?5. What are some ways to encourage writing in your home?6. How can you help your child build a larger vocabulary?7. How can you test reading comprehension (to make sure that your child is not just

reading the words without understanding the meaning)?8. What did you get out of the Scholastic Parent and Child Magazine links?

How would you go about establishing a regular family reading/writing time?9. Commit (with your spouse) to doing so.

Lesson 3 Review Questions and Exercises (continued)

Use Everyday Activities to Foster Word, Number, and Learning Skills

1. Summarize what you know about differences in learning styles.2. What are some ways of helping your children improve their study skills?3. How can you exercise word and number skills in doing everyday tasks and

activities with your children?4. How can you make your home a learning place?5. What kinds of learning activities might you plan?6. Visit a few Internet math learning sites with your children, and test their skills.7. Enjoy working word and math puzzles with your children.

Lesson 3 Review Questions and Exercises (continued)

Make Time for Play

1. What kinds of things do kids learn through play?2. List some of the ways in which play promotes school success3. What is the value of playing with your kids?4. What can parents do to make play time for children more meaningful?

Try out some educational games, activities, and craftsPlay board games with your children

5. Ask questions, and engage in conversation with your children while you play

Lesson 3 Review Questions and Exercises (continued)

Find Answers, Get the Bigger Picture— Dig into Key Lesson Topics on Your Own

Take a look at these reference links now—and come back to them at the end of each lesson. They can help you deepen your understanding of important lesson topics.

Education.com• Educational activities and worksheets• Easy-to-read articles.• Insightful video content • A rich community that helps parents connect• Information on schools

Lakeside Union School District School Success Library (in English and Spanish)

http://www.lakesideusd.org/stories/storyReader$75

Includes dozens of tip sheets for parents on many different school-related topics --view topic list

University of ArkansasThe Parenting Journey

http://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/parenting/default.htm

A collection of “Travel Guides” for Parents (in English and Spanish) addressing topics such as emotional and physical health, showing affection, understanding child development, building character and responsibility, encouraging a love of learning, teaching values, and serving in the community

The Family Journeyhttp://www.arfamilies.org/family_life/family/default.htm

A concise description of characteristics of strong families

Guiding Children Successfully (GCS)http://www.arfamilies.org/child_care/gcs/default.htm

Workshop on motivating kids, showing love, etc.

Enrichment Materials by Topic

More Tools for Digging

Reference bookshttp://www.Amazon.com

• Sharon L. Ramey, Going to School: How to Help Your Child Succeed.

• Madeline Levine, Teach Your Children Well: Parenting for Authentic Success.

• John R. Ban, PASS: Parents Assuring School Success.

Hundreds of Free Parenting Videoshttp://www.5min.com

Education: Catch the Dream (continued)Video 3—Introduction to the Program

http://youtu.be/ozJhgEqu0IQVideo 4—Dreams Card Sort

http://youtu.be/nei_0VAIhIw Video 5—Education Catches Dreams

http://youtu.be/ErBp-HezbQQVideo 6—Latino Stats

http://youtu.be/s-yaz9srJ3EVideo 7—Obstacles Card Sort

http://youtu.be/Rmg5fQCQbZcVideo 8—Resources Card Sort

http://youtu.be/2_OoZNpZcL8Video 9—Action

http://youtu.be/uwb8AuaC5BgVideo 10—You Can Do It

http://youtu.be/ppvyz9P3aL4

Education: Catch the Dream (A Fine Program for Motivating Hispanic Youth)Video 1—Background

http://youtu.be/uQSDPRRBCAYVideo 2—Motivational Theories

http://youtu.be/BRC-aFlGPgA

Check out these additional learning resources (now and as you work through the seminar).

Helps for Hispanic Parents

Goals and Plans for Lesson 3:Building Academic Skills

Part 1 Lesson 1

Your Goals (What?)________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Your Action Plan (How)?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Time Frame (When?)________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Back to Part 1 SummaryBack to Lesson Summary

Hand in Hand for Education How Parents Help Children Succeed in School

Lesson 4: Embracing

Spiritual Gifts

This slide (and the next) provide a Lesson 4 summary and overview Four major topics are addressed, and the “Vision and Action” section provides review, enrichment, planning, and goal-setting tools.

To view material on each topic, click the “View” buttons above. At the end of each section, you can either continue on or click “Back to Lesson Summary” to come back to this slide.

View

View

View

View

View

Back to Part 1 Summary

Lesson 4 Overview—Making the Gospelthe Center of Home and Family Life

Invite the Spirit to be your partner in parenting.

Learn what the scriptures and church leaders teachabout raising children.

Work together as parents:• Follow counsel regarding family prayer, family

home evening, church attendance, moral behavior, kindness, and service.

• Decide what you hope to achieve; use the following material as a guide in setting spiritual goals (and making plans to turn those goals into reality).

Recognize the clear connection between basic gospel teachings and school success:• Faith in God and Christ builds confidence, hope, and a sense of purpose and potential.• Scripture teaches that learning and growth are central to God’s plans and hopes for man.• The gospel brings discipline and power—to work, serve, study, improve oneself, put off the

natural man, control impulses, and delay gratification.• Church programs provide many school-like experiences and a strong family support system.

Above all, set a good example; you are your children’s most important gospel teacher.

Embracing Spiritual Gifts

Faith in God• As a literal Heavenly Father, whose “spiritual

DNA” resides in us all, impelling us towardlearning, growth, and service

Faith in Christ• As the powerful, loving, serving, self-sacrificing

Savior of mankind

Repentance• The priceless ability to recognize our mistakes, change

course, and improve ourselves one step at a time

Covenants• Sacred promises, which lift us up, stabilize us, and open the windows of heaven

A Mighty Change of Heart• A crowning gift of the Spirit, which descends upon us as we persist in:

• Prayer, fasting, worship, and study• Repentance and service to God and man

The apostle Paul taught that:

". . . we are the offspring of God . . ." (Acts 17:29)“He (God) is "the Father of [our] spirits . . ." (Heb. 12:9).

He clarified his meaning in the epistle to the Romans:

". . . the Spirit . . . beareth witness . . . that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ. . ." (Romans 8:16-17)

Faith in a Literal Heavenly Father

Embracing Paul’s vision of an Eternal Father can help our children in school

It tells us that we have within us seeds of His goodness, intelligence, and power and can legitimately dream great dreams and aspire to excellence in all things (including educational pursuits).

It suggests that in all the struggles and challenges of life, we have a powerful ally and friend working in the background to help us.

What could boost the confidence of our children more than a belief in such a being—faith which will enable them to proclaim with Nephi: “I know that [whatever the difficulty] . . . [God] shall provide a way . . . that they [the children of men] may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.” (1 Nephi:3:7)

Faith in Jesus Christ—The Creator, Servant, Redeemer, and “Light” of Men

John spoke of Christ as a God and Creator—the Light of the world

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. . . . All things were made by him . . . In him was life; and the life was the light of men.” (John 1:1-4)

Isaiah spoke of him differently—as a “suffering servant,” taking upon himself willingly the sins and sorrows of the world

“. . . he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastise- ment of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5-10)

Faith in Jesus Christ is a saving and uplifting principle for us and for our children

His sacrifice sweeps away a sense of guilt and unworthiness that often plagues us and drags us down. His death created a “power of resurrection”—giving hope to all mankind. His example of humility, compassion, diligence, and obedience inspires us all to follow in his footsteps.

He is a hero—a personification of perfect manhood, a “true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world.” (John 1:9) As our children learn of him and commit to following him, they will find greater power and success in school and in life.

Assignment: Recognizing OurEternal Identity and Potential

Faith in and knowledge of an Eternal Father and a loving Savior can give children a powerful advantage during the school years and throughout life.

Think of effective ways to help children understand their true identity and their opportunities and potentials in their relationship to God and Christ.

Record ideas below.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Back to Lesson Summary

Repentance Is a positive principle

It is based on the premise that:

“He that keepeth . . . [God’s] command-ments receiveth truth and light, until he is glorified in truth and knoweth all things.” (D&C 93:28)

It is no accident that early church members were taught to "say nothing but repentance unto this generation." (D&C 6:9)

Repentance—A Principle of Growth and Change

Repentance is a principle of growth and change—a key to progress in all aspects of life

It is an indication that real learning has taken place—that our faith and testimony are seeping into our bones and being translated into action.

Speaking (in part) of the trauma involved in recognizing our failings and overcoming them, Christ promised:

"Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted." (Matt. 5: 4)

In pursuing their secular studies and leading their lives, our children will inevitably make mistakes. As parents, we will too.

Thus, as adults and as children, we must recognize our errors, acknowledge them sorrowfully, determine not to repeat them, and move on . . . to "joy as exceeding as was . . . [our] pain." (Alma 36:20-21)

This refining process is a key to growth, learning, and success in all facets of life, including our educational pursuits.

Recognizing Mistakes and Using Them as Stepping Stones

President David O. McKay taught:

"Spirituality, our true aim, is the consciousness of victory over self and of communion with the infinite."

He then added:

" . . . to feel one’s faculties unfolding and truth expanding in the soul [as a result of repentance and learning] is one of life's sublimest experiences.“

Repentance—with all its attendant pain and difficulty—is therefore, in the end, a source of great happiness and joy.

The Joy of Victory Over Self

Alma tasted the sweet fruits of repentance and exclaimed:

". . . oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain! . . . there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. . . . on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy." (Alma 36:20-21)

Assignment: Teaching Repentanceto Your Children

1. Think of ways of teaching your children the fundamental truth that at home, at school, and in life, “You can’t act crooked and think straight”?

2. With empathy, sympathy, and kindness, encourage your children to eliminate:1. Any disruptive or unkind behavior at school, at home, or in the

neighborhood?2. Any lack of focus or attention at school?3. Any slothfulness or dishonesty in completing chores or assignments?4. Any spiritually risky or physically damaging habits and behaviors?

3. Set a good example by recognizing your own frailties, apologizing for mistakes, providing restitution where possible, and working hard to change your own unproductive attitudes and habits?

Ideas:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Back to Lesson Summary

God lifts us up by inviting us to make covenants with Him.

It is a powerful way of bringing us to a higher plane without infringing on our agency (for gospel covenants are never forced).

Alma spoke of baptism as a token of a sacred covenant with God

“. . . a witness. . . that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you.” (Mosiah 18:10)

The sacrament is a renewal of the baptismal covenant, inviting church members to:

“. . . witness unto . . . God . . . that they are willing to take upon them the name of . . . [the] Son, and always remember him and keep his commandments . . . that they may always have his Spirit to be with them.” (D&C 20:77)

Both of these covenants (and temple covenants as well) embody assurances that power and knowledge will come to us as we strive to keep them. Covenants can improve our ability to be energetic in keeping the commandment to “seek learning.”

Sacred Covenants

As parents, strive to lift your children up by (a) teaching and preparing them to enter into covenants with God and (b) inviting them to make covenants with you.

(Their covenants with you might involve rewards and privileges granted on the basis of compliance with family rules and standards and school performance standards.)

Note here ideas and plans for doing the above:______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Assignment: Preparing Children for Gospel Covenants and Inviting Them to Covenant with You

Back to Lesson Summary

A Might Change of Heart

A central purpose of the gospel is to change hearts—to effect a spiritual rebirth.

Christ told Nicodemus:“Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” (John 3:3).

He clarified this statement as he spoke further of being “born of water and of the spirit.” (John 1:5) Clearly, being “born of water” refers to the ordinance and covenant of baptism. But being “born of the spirit” is something different.

Alma spoke of it as a “mighty change” wrought in his father’s heart and his own (Alma 5:11-12). This same change was experienced by his father’s converts:

“[God] . . . changed their hearts; yea, he awakened them out of a deep sleep, and they awoke unto God. Behold, they were in the midst of darkness; nevertheless, their souls were illuminated by the light of the everlasting word . . .and their souls did expand, and they did sing redeeming love.” (Alma 5:7, 9)

King Benjamin explained why a mighty change of heart is essential: “The natural man is an enemy to God . . . and will be forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint [purified] through the atonement of Christ . . .” (Mosiah 3:19)

A Might Change of Heart (continued)

Spiritual rebirth is a lifelong process

As we read moving descriptions of changing hearts, we often picture an instantaneous, miraculous painless, irrevocable transformation. And there is no question that the experience of initial conversion to the gospel is nearly always moving and impressive.

But Nephi suggests that baptism and an initial outpouring of the spirit are just the beginning. Important aspects of the “mighty change” occur over a longer period of time—as we pass through trials and work diligently to live righteously and strengthen our faith. Consider these important instructions given by Nephi to new converts:

“. . . ye have entered in by the gate . . . And ye have received the Holy Ghost, which witnesses of the Father and the Son . . . [But]I would ask if all is done? Behold, I say unto you, Nay . . .”

“. . . ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall [then] have eternal life.” (2 Nephi 31:17-20)

A Might Change of Heart (continued)

There are certain aspects of human behavior that only change over time (and with divine help).

To cite an example, the church is full of young men and women whose behavior and school performance through the teenage years were mediocre and erratic. But then, many answered a full-time mission call, which stimulated them to pray, fast, worship, study, serve , and repent with greater intensity over an extended period of time

Is it any wonder that upon returning home, many found themselves transformed—focused, disciplined, and able to meet the challenges of college, marriage, parenthood, and adult life?

The great secret is that we don’t need to be on a full-time mission to experience such a transformation. We can invite mighty changes in our hearts by praying, fasting, worshipping, studying, repenting, and serving others with greater and greater energy over a long period of time (as they did.)

There is a name for these kinds of activities—for this kind of focus: “learning by . . . faith.”

Elder David A. Bednar has spoken of three basic elements of faith in God and Christ:

"(1) . . . the [forward-looking] assurance of things hoped for that are true, (2) . . . [a backward-looking awareness of] evidence of things not seen, and (3) . . . action [in the present] . . ." (Address to Church Educational System personnel on Feb. 3, 2006)

Learning by Faith

He describes the process by which the elements of faith interact:

"These three elements of faith--assurance, action, and evidence--are not separate and discrete; rather, they are interrelated and continuous and cycle upward. And the faith that fuels this ongoing process develops, evolves, and changes.

"As we . . . turn and face forward toward an uncertain future, assurance leads to action and produces [additional] evidence, which further increases assurance. Our confidence waxes stronger, line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little."

Elder Bednar provides a scriptural example of the process:

"We find a powerful example of the interaction among assurance, action, and evidence as the children of Israel transported the ark of the covenant under the leadership of Joshua (see Joshua 3:7-17). Recall how the Israelites came to the river Jordan and were promised the waters would part, and they would be able to cross over on dry ground.

Interestingly, the waters did not part as the children of Israel stood on the banks of the river waiting for something to happen; rather, the soles of their feet were wet before the water parted. The faith of the Israelites was manifested in the fact that they walked into the water before it parted.

They walked into the river Jordan with a future-facing assurance of things hoped for. As the Israelites moved forward, the water parted, and as they crossed over on dry land, they looked back and beheld the evidence of things not seen.

In this episode, faith as assurance led to action and produced the evidence of things not seen that were true."

An Example of the “Mechanics” of Learning by Faith

At an appropriate time, you might want to discuss with your children the story of the Israelites crossing the river Jordan.

Then try to relate it to:• The hope and assurance you feel that, as noble sons and daughters of God,

they can and will succeed in school, in life, and in the quest for greater faith.• Concrete actions that must be taken in faith to tap heavenly wisdom and

power.• Evidences of the reality of God and the spiritual world, reflected in your own

life experiences (and theirs).• The promise of miracles—mighty changes of heart enabling us to do things

we thought we could never do as we continue to “seek learning . . . by faith.”

Notes:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Assignment: Explain to Your Children How Faith Is Operative in Your Life

David A. Bednar has pointed out that the young Joseph Smith provided us with a model of learning by faith and seeking a mighty change of heart:

"[He] . . . understood what it meant to seek learning by faith. . . . Note the questions Joseph had formulated in his mind and felt in his heart—and which he took into the grove. . . . Joseph's questions focused not just on what he needed to know but also on what he needed to do. . . . His prayer was not simply which church is right. His question was which church should he join. Joseph went to the grove to learn by faith. He was determined to act."

Prayer Is a Starting Point

Thus, one key to learning by faith is to pray in faith—with a determination to act.

"Learning by faith requires spiritual, mental, and physical exertion and not just passive reception." --David A. Bednar

We may not receive a heavenly vision, but as we are prepared to act, God promises:

“. . . I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart.” (D&C 8:2)

“I Will Tell You in Your Mind and in Your Heart”

It is important to recognize that the Holy Ghost speaks to us in our mind and in our heart—and that he is a brilliant, powerful teacher:

• The Book of Mormon goes so far as to say that “by the power of the Holy Ghost, ye may know the truth of all things.” (Moroni 10:5)

• Christ further taught that the Holy Ghost can “bring all things to your remembrance.” (John 14:26) (That sounds useful in a school setting.)

As parents, we must learn (by experience) and then teach our children:

• How to ask, seek, and knock• How to cultivate faith, and• How to recognize the soft, subtle voice of the Holy Ghost.

Alma attributes his sure knowledge of spiritual truthsto the practice of fasting (abstaining from food and drink):

“I have fasted and prayed many days that I might know these things of myself. And now I do know of myself that they are true; for the Lord hath made them manifest unto me by his Holy Spirit; and this is the spirit of revelation which is in me.” (Alma 5:46)

Fasting Is an Amplifier

Fasting is like an amplifier. It can lend greater substance and power to our prayers

Isaiah speaks of its impact in these terms:

“Then shalt thou call, and the Lord shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am. . . . then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness be as the noonday; And the Lord shall guide thee continually . . . thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.” (Isaiah 58:9-11)

Like Alma, our families can benefit greatly from understanding and applying the principle of fasting to the important tasks, questions, and struggles of life—including struggles at school or at home.

Isaiah describes the results of sabbath day worship—another tool for learning by faith and seeking a mighty change of heart:

“If thou turn away thy foot from the Sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the Sabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words:

Then shalt thou delight thyself in the Lord; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father . . .“ (Isaiah 58:13-14)

Sabbath-Day Worship CanKeep Us Unspotted from the World

In the book of Doctrine and Covenants, we read:

". . . that thou mayest more fully keep thyself unspotted from the world, thou shalt go to the house of prayer and offer up thy sacraments upon my holy day; For verily this is a day appointed unto you to rest from your labors, and to pay thy devotions unto the Most High . . .

And on this day thou shalt do none other thing . . . that thy fasting may be perfect, or, in other words, that thy joy may be full." (D&C 59:9-10, 16)

Sabbath Day Worship—A Preparation for Secular Schooling

One of the unique aspects of church culture is that we welcome children, toddlers, and even infants to our sabbath worship services and “Sunday schools”—even though they may not be in a position to behave perfectly (or understand fully what is going on).

We tolerate the occasional outbursts and disruptions because we understand that learning of many different kinds is taking place as a result of their attendance. Over time, they grasp behaviors that are productive and appropriate and skills that are required for productive participation.

As a side benefit, experiences from the earliest years in worship services and Sunday school can place our children far ahead of their peers in understanding how to behave in group learning settings—how to listen, how to sing, how to relate to others, and how to control themselves. This gives them a great advantage when they are finally ready to start school.

But the overriding purpose of prayer, fasting, and Sabbath day worship—as well as learning by faith—is to change hearts, to bring us to a “fullness” of light and truth and joy. And this is a gradual process.

John tells us that even Christ: “. . . received not of the fullness at first, but continued from grace to grace, until he received a fullness . . .” (D&C 93:13)

Sabbath Day Worship—In Search of “His Fullness”

Speaking of worship as a key in this process, John explained:“I give unto you these sayings that you may understand and know how to worship . . . that you may come unto the Father in my name and in due time receive of his fullness.” (D&C 93:19)

This glorious outcome has been referred to as a dawning of “the perfect day”: “That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light growth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.” (D&C 50:24)

Worship and sabbath observance are important parts of a life-long quest to “seek learning . . . by faith,” to strive for the promised “mighty change of heart.”

Paul promised Timothy that:

“. . . the holy scriptures . . . are able to make thee wise unto salvation . . .” (2 Tim. 3:15)

The Scriptural Compass

Helaman taught that scripture is like a compass, bringing good judgment, wisdom, and perspectives that aid us in decision-making:

". . . whosoever will may lay hold upon the word of God, which is quick and powerful, which shall divide asunder all the cunning and the snares and the wiles of the devil, and lead the man of Christ in a strait and narrow course across that everlasting gulf of misery which is prepared to engulf the wicked . . . (Helaman 3:29)

Man Shall Not Live by Bread Alone . . .

Christ likened scripture to food—spiritual food:

“Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.” (Matt. 4:4)

Paul explained that:

“. . . scripture is given . . . for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.” (2 Tim. 3:16-17)

Nephi risked his life to obtain scriptural records, which he deemed essential to the well-being of his family (just as essential as food and provisions):

“. . . we . . . obtained the [scriptural] records . . . and searched them, and found that they were desirable; yea, even of great worth unto us, insomuch that we could preserve the commandments of the Lord unto our children.

Wherefore, it was wisdom in the Lord that we should carry them with us, as we journeyed in the wilderness . . . “ (1 Nephi 5:21-22)

Everyone Needs Scriptural Food

King Benjamin pointed out that even spiritual giants have need of scripture:

“. . . were it not for these plates, which contain these records and these commandments, we must have suffered in ignorance, even at this present time, not knowing the mysteries of God.

For it were not possible that [we or] our father, Lehi could have remembered all these things . . .” (Mosiah 1:3-4)

There are wonderful spiritual benefits associated with regular family scripture study.

And the practice can also boost our children's listening and reading skills—contributing directly to school readiness and achievement.

Benefits of Regular Family Scripture Study

Selfless Service and Ongoing Repentance

Christ taught his status-conscious disciples that:

" . . . whosoever will be great among you shall be your minister . . . the servant of all." (Mark 10:43-44)

That principle is reflected beautifully in his own life.

When asked ". . . which is the greatest commandment in the law?" he replied with words that again reflect his personal attitude and focus:

"Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all they heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind [as I do]. This is the first and greatest commandment.

And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself [as I do]. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets." (Matt 22:36-40)

Our experiences as parents teach us that love, service, and sacrifice are intertwined

Any one of them leads over time to the others. Love moves us to service and sacrifice. And service and sacrifice produce greater love and tenderness of heart. Thus, these three interrelated principles produce an upward spiral of blessing, growth, and spiritual progress.

According to Nephi, the beautiful tree of life that that his father saw in vision was:

". . . the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men . . . the most desirable of all things." (1 Nephi 11:22)

Selfless Service and Ongoing Repentance (continued)

This love is so important—here and hereafter—that according to the apostle Paul, we are “nothing” without it. (1 Corinthians 13:2)

Much of the repenting we need to do as we mature in the gospel has to do with the size of our hearts (that is, the shallowness of our love). We must repent of sins of omission (things we did not do) rather than sins of commission (cruel or destructive things we did).

The pure love of Christ is ultimately a gift of the spirit, but it typically grows and flowers in the sweet garden of service to others.

And so, social and service experiences will be at the center of our family quest for charity and a mighty change of heart. As we and our children become more aware of and responsive to the very real emotional and physical needs of people around us, our spiritual education will reach a pinnacle. Our hearts will change. And we will come to understand better the pure motives of Jesus Christ. If we neglect this upward spiral of love, service, and sacrifice, we are “nothing.”

Summary of Lesson 4—Embracing Spiritual Gifts

Exercise Faith in God• A literal Heavenly Father, whose “spiritual

DNA” resides in us all, impelling us towardlearning, growth, and personal progress

Exercise Faith in Christ• The powerful, loving, serving, redeeming,

self-sacrificing Creator, Savior, and Light of the world

Teach (and Practice) Repentance• The power to recognize our mistakes, change course, and improve ourselves one step at a

time

Make and Keep Sacred Covenants• Ordinances and promises which stabilize us, lift us up, and open the windows of heaven

Seek a Mighty Change of Heart• The crowning gift of the Spirit, which descends upon us over time as we are persistent in:

• Prayer, fasting, and worship• Scriptural searching• Repentance and Christ-like service to God and man Back to Lesson Overview

Lesson 4—Review Questions and Exercises

Exercise Faith in God and Christ

1. In what ways does faith in an Eternal Father and a loving Savior help children in school and throughout life?

2. List ways in which you can help your children better understand their eternal identity and potential as sons and daughters of God and followers of Jesus Christ.

3. Encourage your children to set high goals commensurate with that identity.4. Spend time talking with your children about Christ’s great qualities, powers,

teachings, and sacrifice so that he truly becomes the “light and life” of your family.

Teach and Practice Repentance

5. Why do you think the early saints were taught to “say nothing but repentance unto this generation.” (D&C 6:9)

6. In what sense is repentance a positive principle?7. Talk with your children about President McKay’s statement that: “Spirituality, our

true aim, is the consciousness of victory over self and communion with the infinite.”

8. Read Alma 36 together and talk about Alma’s bitter-sweet experience with repentance.

Make and Keep Sacred Covenants

1. Why do you think God relies so heavily on ordinances and covenants to lift his children up?

2. Read as a family the sacrament prayers (D&C 20:77) and the 18th chapter of Mosiah and talk about the promises (ours and God’s) associated with baptism and the sacrament.

3. Reflect on the significance and power of temple covenants.4. Make uplifting covenants with your children to help them grow.

Seek Learning and a Change of Heart through Prayer, Fasting, and Worship

5. What does it mean to “seek learning . . . by faith”?6. What are some things that we can do to make our prayers more powerful?7. Think of ways to describe and help your children recognize the still, small voice of

the Holy Ghost.8. Spend a family evening talking about “learning by faith.”9. What are the promised fruits of worship and observance of the sabbath day?10. Resolve to observe the sabbath and attend church regularly in search of joy,

fullness, and power to change.

Lesson 4—Review Questions and Exercises(continued)

Seek Learning and a Change of Heart through Scripture Study, Ongoing Repentance, and Service

1. Why do you think Christ likened scripture to food?2. Make a poster containing scriptures about scriptures, and post it in your home.3. On a scale of 1 to 5, rate your own current level of scriptural knowledge and that

of each child (where 1 = Low and 5 = High).4. Implement a program of daily scripture reading with your children, and find ways

of overcoming obstacles and sticking with it.5. Review the goal-setting and planning forms found at the end of each seminar

lesson, and use them as a guide for your own ongoing repentance.6. In speaking of the scriptural injunction to love God and our neighbor, Christ said

“On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” (Matt 22: 36-40) What do you think he meant?

7. Read James 1:27 together, and discuss it as a family. Then plan a family service activity focused on “visiting the fatherless and widows in their affliction”.

Lesson 4—Review Questions and Exercises(continued)

Goals and Plans for Lesson 4:Embracing Spiritual Gifts

Part 1 Lesson 4

Your Goals (What?)________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Your Action Plan (How)?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Time Frame (When?)________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Back to Part 1 SummaryBack to Lesson Summary

The Student Guide/Seminar Journal Template for Part 2 is in a separate file viewable at http://www.slideshare.net/SKMadsen/parent-seminar-student-guide-part-2the-school-yearsrev-1-16725677 .