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PARENT TO PARENT Spring 2012: Child Care Conversations The Girl Who Changed My Life: A Dad’s View....PAGE 19 Child Care Through A Nanny’s Eyes .....PAGE 9 A Successful Relationship with Your Child Care Provider .....PAGE 6

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PARENT TO PARENTSpring 2012:Child Care Conversations

The Girl Who Changed My Life: A Dad’s View....PAGE 19

Child Care Through A Nanny’s Eyes.....PAGE 9

A Successful Relationship with Your Child Care Provider.....PAGE 6

2 • Parent to Parent, Spring 2012

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npnparents.org • 3

PARENT TO PARENTJill Chukerman, Managing [email protected]

Peggy Fink, [email protected]

Ellie Ander, Marketing & [email protected]

Sarah Cobb, Executive [email protected]

Melanie Schlachter, Associate Executive [email protected]

BJ Slusarczyk, Operations [email protected]

Parent to Parent contains articles and information straight from our NPN member community. For information about editorial submissions, email [email protected]; for advertising, email [email protected]. We look forward to hearing from you!

INSIDE THIS ISSUEOUR MISSIONConnecting a diverse community of families with the resources they need to navigate parenting in the city

FeaturesHaving a Successful Relationship with Your Child Care Provider ............... 6

Babysitters–Don’t Forget Your Bras! .......7

Choose Best Provider for S.M.A.R.T. Play ..................................... 8

Child Care Through A Nanny’s Eyes .................................... 9

And Finally…The Offer ....................... 10

Free Fun Every Day of the Week ......... 10

The New City ......................................14

Sleep Deprivation and Postpartum Depression .......................16

The Girl Who Changed My Life ...........19

News & InformationNPN Volunteers .....................................5

Social Snapshot ...................................12

How to Use NPN to Find Child Care ...20

NPN Neighborhood Picks ................... 22

Upcoming Events ...............Back Cover

Letter from the Board President

There are signs of spring among us…. the air is fresher, the days are getting (a little) longer, and the kids can play outside without snowsuits!

This quarter, NPN serves up all sorts of resources on child care. How do you select the right option for your family? Where do you start? When do you start? The questions fly into parents’ minds at lightning speed. But don’t stress—we’ve got you covered. Whether you’re considering a nanny, nanny-share, daycare center, in-home day care, full-day preschool, babysitters or something else, we’ll help you do your homework and think through the options with a clear mind.

Dig into this issue of Parent to Parent, our online discussion boards, the other rich resources at npnparents.org or our live education sessions to get your process started. After building some context, you can establish your list of “must have” qualities for child care. With that list, you trim away options that don’t fit the bill, then focus on those that match your criteria. Don’t get distracted by a nice personality or cute school branding. Stick to what you know your child/family needs, and you’ll make the right decision.

Since spring offers a chance to stretch our winter-weary legs, I challenge you to leverage one new NPN connection a month to try a new activity with your child or plan a new outing with your family. Then tell us how it worked out. We’d love to hear from you; please email [email protected]. NPN is here for you…we’d love to hear your success stories!

Best wishes with your search! Kelley Ahuja

4 • Parent to Parent, Spring 2012

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NPN THANkS OUR VOlUNTEERS ClubsAndersonville-Edgewater......................................................Robin.Brannigan/Diane.AvrahamLakeview..................................................................................Christine.Jordan/Miranda.ByrdLincoln.Square-North.Center............................................................................. Kelly.CantwellNear.West-South.Side.............................................. Lisa.Kulisek/Gina.Joslin/Francine.VerlottaNorthwest.Side..................................................Diana.Servatius/Kim.Sanford/Kristy.BatchelorOld.Town-Gold.Coast.......................................................... Marisa.Fetter/Sarah.Squires-DoylePortage.Park................................................................................Cyrus.Clausen/Lisa.FalconerWest.Town.................................................................................................... Marcie.WolbeckAdoption..........................................................................................Tammy.Miller/Julie.RakayAsian............................................................................................... .Jennifer.Uson/Ying.ZhanAttorney.Moms.................................................... Jean.Choi/Elizabeth.O’Brien/Hope.WhitfieldDads................................................................................................................ Ian.SmithdahlDevelopmental.Differences................................................... Ellen.Sternweiler/Kandalyn.HahnElementary.School.Parents.......................................................................... Bernadette.PawlikGreen.Parenting...................................................................Sherry.Polachek/Ellen.SternweilerMoms.in.Business.................................................................Katherine.McHenry/Jenny.PerilloMoms’.Night.Out....................................................................... Shawna.Goelz/Mandy.MoiseMoms.Over.35................................................................................. Marie.Lona/Lisa.MendellMultiples........................ Cari.Matykiewicz/Becky.Reno/Melissa.Manning/Michelle.GauthreauxParents.of.One.................................................................................................. Janet.Walkoe

Same.Sex.Parents.................................................................. Monique.Urban/Angela.DebelloSingle.Parents...................................................................................................Angela.KezonSouth.Side..................................................... Kristin.Myers/Dani.Brzozowski/Megan.MarshallWorking.Moms...............................Rebekah.Kohmescher/Gretchen.Speakman/Amanda.Wiley

ResourcesLegal.Counselor...............................................................................................Heather.Varon.

NPN Board of DirectorsBoard.President...................................................... Kelly.AhujaVice.President..................................................... Alex.GuzmanTreasurer.............................................................. Steven.BlockSecretary.......................................... Jennifer.Guimond-QuigleyBoard.Members. Sarah.Davis. Elisa.Kronish.Drake. Cindy.McCarthy. Kristin.Myers.. Victoria.Nygren. Alison.Ray... Sharmila.Rao.Thakkar

npnparents.org • 5

KriStin MyErS was first introduced to NPN in 2009 when she purchased the School Directory. She was impressed by the comprehensiveness of the publication and realized it reflected the valuable resource NPN is as a whole. Since joining in 2010, Kristin has benefited from meeting other business professionals at NPN networking events and has been an active member of the Moms in Business group since its inception. Kristin is the owner of Babies, Tots, n’ More, Chicago’s first and only seasonal children’s consignment event company. Her business provides parents with an opportunity to sell their gently used children’s and maternity items, while allowing other families to buy great products for a fraction of the original price. Kristin is a Chicago native and received both her bachelor’s and master’s degrees from the University of Illinois at Chicago. She lives in the North Kenwood neighborhood with her husband and two toddler-aged boys.

AliSon rAy joined NPN before the birth of her oldest daughter in 2007 and is an active member of the Moms in Business group. An award-winning Certified Meeting Planner, Alison has more than 13 years’ experience as a professional meeting and event planner and eight years as the CEO of Metropolitan Marketing & Event Group. As the managing editor of Sassy Moms in the City, Alison provides women with resources and information necessary to maintain sophisticated and sassy lifestyles while raising children in the city. She lives in Old Town with her husband and two sassy daughters.

WElcOME TO OUR NEWEST NPN BOARD MEMBERS

(708) 429-BABYwww.SweetDreamsInfantCare.com

Reserve Your Good Nights Sleep Today!

6 • Parent to Parent, Spring 2012

HAVINg A SUccESSfUl RElATIONSHIP WITH yOUR cHIlD cARE PROVIDER By Kayme Pumphrey, K Grace Childcare, NPN member since 2005

PreparationAs a parent, having spent countless nights perfecting the bedtime routine, it can be frustrating when a small oversight means your little ones are wide awake at 4:30 a.m. To avoid issues, prepare for the babysitter, especially if he/she is not familiar with your home and children. Turn on the sound machine and humidifier, start the bedtime music, pull the curtains, lay out weather-appropriate pajamas, turn down comforters, etc. The same idea applies to daytime. Place lunch and snack items in an obvious location, lay clothing out, and set aside items for the bath as well as any planned activities.

Instructions and notesFor full-time nannies, I recommend a contract listing expectations, but informal written instructions are just as important when employing part-time or occasional babysitters. Instructions should cover primary child-rearing philosophies (discipline, eating, sleeping), sanitizing bottles, diaper disposal and items that are off limits. Have providers record or “log” time with your children to keep track of activities and things like wet diapers, food consumed and behavior.

Notes around the house are helpful, especially when a provider is willing to do things you may not expect. For example, with the hamper keep a note regarding baby laundry that lists laundry detergent, washing machine setting and temperature, and your schedule for changing crib bedding.

ElectronicsBefore your provider starts, decide if you will allow television, computer use and phone time. Communicate specific rules regarding the television (volume, channels, time limits), and create guest accounts for computers and WiFi. If you do not want texting and/or cell phone use, consider if you want to reach your provider, pictures to be sent as updates, etc.

Important informationObtain emergency contact information from your provider, and gather phone numbers for neighbors, poison control and pediatricians. Also list your child’s allergies, medications and fire extinguisher locations.

You have the perfect child care provider (or two or three)—congratulations! He/she has a personality that fits your family, a clear background, positive references and is prompt, proactive, helpful, experienced, loving and fun. But, believe it or not, you have won only half the battle. Child care needs aren’t always predictable, and employing someone in your home can be challenging.

Here are suggestions to help avoid potential frustrations.

LabelsA little guidance for your child care provider(s) is helpful to ensure consistency for your kids, household organization and safety.

• Label boxes for specific toys (“dinosaurs,” “Strawberry Shortcake and friends,” “musical instruments,” etc.).

• Label shelves and drawers for kitchen items (“sippy cups,” “colander,” “kids’ bowls,” etc.).

• Mark food items (“Kid’s ‘Peanut Butter’” on the soy nut butter jar, “No raisins for Charlie,” etc.).

• Label items for a specific use (“nighttime diapers,” “bedtime bottles,” etc.).

Debit cardIf you employ a full-time child care provider, add a check card to your account for his/her use. It is easier than having to withdraw cash for activities/lunches out/grocery store trips, you can set a spending limit, expenses are easily tracked, and it helps if returns are necessary.

Realtors lock box For between $15 and $30, a realtors lock box is a great investment. Not only does it make last-minute child care arrangements feasible when a meeting at the office runs late, it also is a great back-up should your toddler decide to play a game that separates him/her from the babysitter. The code can be changed frequently and provided only when necessary.

Cab fareFor school-age children, if an emergency child care need arises, it is beneficial to have cab fare, keys, extracurricular information and any other special instructions at school. If you are uncomfortable leaving such items in your child’s backpack, speak to your child’s teacher about holding them in a safe place.

Kayme Pumphrey started K Grace Childcare in 2002. Although full-service,

K Grace specializes in part-time and/or occasional babysitting placements

and temporary nanny placements. Check out our special offer for NPN

members in Parent Perks.

A lITTlE gUIDANcE IS HElPfUl TO ENSURE cONSISTENcy fOR yOUR kIDS, HOUSEHOlD ORgANIzATION AND SAfETy.

npnparents.org • 7

to bed and she let herself out. Having run out of polite conversation, I asked a couple times if her friends needed directions and she kept insisting they were en route. Finally, when the new day had dawned, her friends pulled up and she ran out of the house. We were irate. When it was finally time to hit the hay, I couldn’t fall asleep, I was so annoyed. Why wouldn’t she meet her friends at the bar down the street? Doesn’t she know how precious sleep is for new parents?

To boot—since she changed at our house to go clubbing, she left her black bra in our bathroom. As my husband pointed out, she only had 90 minutes to gather her belongings so it’s no wonder she left some items strewn about.

Needless to say, I put the bra in the mail and we haven’t hired her since.

But I have since learned babysitting etiquette is a two-way street. There are a lot of ways babysitters can be courteous to their employers, but there are also many ways families can welcome these caregivers into our homes.

Parents• Treat your sitters as you would like to be treated. After

all, they are watching your most prized possessions; give them a friendly greeting, ask them how they are and what’s going on in their lives, etc. Friendly banter will also lead to solid communication on how you can work together better.

• Feed your help—a hungry babysitter is not a happy babysitter!

• Don’t hoard babysitters. Everyone deserves a night out so please share your babysitting contacts with other parents. It will all even out in the end.

Babysitters• Please clean up after yourselves! There’s nothing more

frustrating for parents then coming home to a messier house than the one we left. We know it’s hard to constantly straighten after human tornadoes tear through our houses, but a little effort shows you care. Plus, we’re more likely to hire you again.

• Communicate with your employers. Please respond in a timely fashion about your availability on a requested date. Text us pictures/updates of the little munchkins so we know the house hasn’t burned down, and give us a solid report of how they behaved, even if they weren’t angels.

• And please, for goodness’ sake, don’t forget your bras!

When our daughter was 10 months old, my husband and I hired our former nanny, G, for a much-needed date night. We enjoyed a funny, not-cheesy romantic comedy, then had a grown-up dinner date at a hip, new restaurant like we used to do frequently in our former lives. Since G doesn’t drive, I texted her from dinner to see if she was taking a cab home or if she needed a ride. She said she was going out and her friends were picking her up at our place. Perfect. This night was going great!

We returned home at 10:45 p.m.

G’s friends picked her up at 12:15 a.m.

She stayed at our house for an hour and a half after we returned home.

At first, I didn’t notice. When we walked in, she was primping in our bathroom for a while. Then we enjoyed some chit-chat about her new family and what she’d been up to. Before I knew it, my husband and I were both yawning on the couch watching a terrible ’80s thriller with G as the clock ticked by. Our place is small so it would have been more awkward had we told her we were going

TREAT yOUR SITTERS AS yOU WOUlD lIkE TO BE TREATED. AfTER All, THEy ARE WATcHINg yOUR MOST PRIzED POSSESSIONS.

BABySITTERS–DON’T fORgET yOUR BRAS!By Amy Walsh, NPN member since 2010

Amy Walsh lives in Lincoln Square with her husband Mike and one-year-

old daughter Ainsley.

Photo.courtesy.Amy.Walsh.

8 • Parent to Parent, Spring 2012

• Sensory play (bubbles, play dough, sand, water, paint)

• Constructive play (blocks, ramps, cars, trains, figurines)

• Dramatic play (dress-up clothes and props, pots and pans, dolls, small play buildings)

• Physical play (ride-on toys, push/pull toys, balls, music, dancing ribbons, shape sorters, puzzles, small blocks)

• Literacy play (books, paper, writing utensils)

Active Young children are active players and learners. Caregivers who understand how children learn invite children to use all their senses—sight, sound, taste, touch, smell and movement—as they play. Providers who value active play also make sure there are frequent daily opportunities for infants, toddlers and children to move their bodies and build strength and coordination. Look for:

• Children actively playing and moving

• Designated floor space for infants to play on their tummies (minimal use of bouncy seats and infant activity centers)

• Indoor space for physical play

Responsive“Play” means that children choose what to do, how to do it and who to do it with. Responsive caregivers watch, listen and follow the child’s lead. They also build relationships with each child and family so they can support every child’s temperament, abilities and needs. Look for:

• Playful interaction with children

• Information-sharing about your child’s play activities and playmates

• Encouragement for children to take turns and cooperate

• Playful behavior redirection

• Space for children to play quietly and/or alone

Time Children need long periods of uninterrupted time to play and explore. Providers who champion play include long stretches of free play in their daily schedules. They also give children the chance to repeat their explorations over time so they can learn at their own pace and master skills. Look for:

• At least 45 minutes of free play in the morning and afternoon

• Daily outdoor playtime

• Consistent environment and play materials

Play is essential to healthy growth and development. When children are playing, they create their identities, build relationships, learn to focus, gain confidence and much more. One of the best things adults can do for children is give them time to play. At Chicago Children’s Museum, we encourage you to find a child care provider that makes “S.M.A.R.T.” choices for play.

Safety Children need adults to help them stay safe physically and emotionally. Caregivers who support play create “YES” environments that ensure physical safety and reduce the need to say “no” to children. “YES” environments encourage children to explore independently and focus on positive interactions. Look for:

• Basic safety

• Clean environment and materials

• Age-appropriate materials

• Ample space for children

• Plenty of materials available and accessible

• Opportunities for children to do things on their own

MaterialsChildren love to play with simple materials they can use in multiple ways. Child care environments should have a variety of play materials that encourage interaction and appeal to different interests, abilities and types of play. Well-organized materials define age-appropriateness and help children find things and clean up. Look for:

cHOOSE BEST PROVIDER fOR S.M.A.R.T PlAy By Beth Wilson, Chicago Children’s Museum, NPN member since 2011

Beth Wilson is the manager of early learning initiatives at Chicago

Children’s Museum. She has been with the museum for five years and leads

in the research and development of programs and exhibit experiences for

babies, toddlers, preschoolers and their families.

RESPONSIVE cAREgIVERS WATcH, lISTEN AND fOllOW THE cHIlD’S lEAD.

Photo.courtesy.Chicago.Children’s.Museum.

npnparents.org • 9npnparents.org • 9

cHOOSE BEST PROVIDER fOR S.M.A.R.T PlAy By Beth Wilson, Chicago Children’s Museum, NPN member since 2011

cHIlD cARE THROUgH A NANNy’S EyESBy Stephanie Limesand, NPN member since 2011

role-modeling: My oldest nanny kid is deathly afraid of birds, and my youngest nanny kid is constantly wondering if we’ll find parking as we drive through Chicago. I blame myself for these habits they’ve acquired, and it reminds me that kids take the good with the bad. Children absorb so much, so work on what you present for absorption. Do you put others first? Do you blame someone else when you should be taking responsibility? No one is perfect! But if you can be your best self as much as possible, your kids will notice that and emulate those traits.

My favorite part of being a nanny is that I get to share the qualities of mother, older sister, favorite aunt, grandmother and best friend. I look forward to the day when my nanny kids are in high school and I can ask them to watch my own children!

As the full-time nanny of two wonderful children, I have my own unique perspective on child care. My job is fun: I experience the Museum of Science and Industry, Shedd Aquarium and Lincoln Park Zoo through the eyes of a child. I’m responsible for the well-being and health of someone else’s children; I feed, clothe, mind, chauffeur and entertain. It’s not always easy but it’s always rewarding. My advice to anyone considering a career as a nanny is to develop a strong connection to the parents, not just to the children. You have to not only respect their parenting techniques but also replicate them and back up each other as well. Mutual respect is key to a successful family, and that includes the nanny!

I absolutely love my “nanny kids,” and while they have their frustrating moments, I consider them smart, loving and wonderful. We can go anywhere and I can rest assured they will be considerate to me, be respectful to adults and possess a child’s awareness of the world around them. If I had to narrow down my entire child care philosophy to three points, they would be communication, affection and role-modeling.

Communication: The kids know communication is part of everyday life because they see their mom and I communicating daily. They know we are always willing to listen no matter what they have to say. After school, I ask the kids about their day, and I encourage them to answer in specifics instead of generalities. I want them to articulate details about their lives and their feelings. When you ask questions in a sincere way, you open the door to more personal stories.

Affection: I tell the kids, “You can never have too many hugs or kisses.” There is no such thing as loving someone too much. I feel strongly that a nanny should be affectionate, in addition to the parents. You want the kids to feel loved and safe, and sometimes the nanny is the only person home. Showing affection adds another layer to my relationship with them and makes our bond even closer.

Stephanie is a 28-year-old full-time nanny with a degree in theatre and a passion

for the arts. She’s originally from Minnesota and moved to Chicago after

attending the University of Illinois. Stephanie recently started her own blog and

looks forward to being a mom someday.

My fAVORITE PART Of BEINg A NANNy IS THAT I gET TO SHARE THE qUAlITIES Of MOTHER, OlDER SISTER, fAVORITE AUNT, gRANDMOTHER AND BEST fRIEND.

Photo.courtesy.Stephanie.Limesand.

10 • Parent to Parent, Spring 2012

Sick/Personal time: The standard is anywhere from three to five days; for families that have had a nanny for several years whose salary might now be capped, it might be nice to throw in an extra personal day or two per year. For nannies who have just started with your family, three is generous, given that your own presence at work relies on her availability.

Holidays: The expectation is that the six major holidays—New Year’s Day, Memorial Day, July 4th, Labor Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas—are paid days off. If you get bank holidays off and give your nanny that day off as well, she will expect to be paid.

Medical insurance: In my four years with Nanny Boutique, I have seen families offer insurance twice. It is not the standard and few nannies expect it.

In my experience, what a nanny wants most is to feel valued by the family she is working with. In making her an offer, complete with benefits, you are off to a great start in doing just that!

You have completed the first and (often) second round of interviews. You have invited your top choice (or two) to spend more time with your family. You have made the heartfelt choice of the best nanny for your family, and, with a deep breath of hopeful anticipation, you are ready to make the offer. Wait! Before you make an offer to your top candidate, it might be helpful to know more about the benefits she will most likely expect while working with your family.

Salary: There is, for better or worse, a huge variation here. In 2008, I regularly saw bidding wars over nannies, with the top candidates getting top dollar for one child. Soon after, during the economic downturn, I saw the same nannies accepting positions for considerably lower rates. One responsibility of a nanny agency is to help manage salary expectations. As for taxes, families decide for themselves: some take it out of their nannies’ salaries, some pay on top.

Vacation: The Chicago standard is two weeks; with that said, if you are out of town for three weeks and only pay your nanny for two, you most likely will have a very unhappy nanny on your hands. After all, her budget is counting on you.

AND fINAlly…THE OffER By Julie Pekny, Nanny Boutique, NPN member since 2011

Julie Pekny, former nanny and mother of two daughters, 9 and 11, started

working at Nanny Boutique in 2008 and took ownership in 2010.

IN My ExPERIENcE, WHAT A NANNy WANTS MOST IS TO fEEl VAlUED By THE fAMIly SHE IS WORkINg WITH.

fREE fUN EVERy DAy Of THE WEEk By Cindy McCarthy, NPN member since 2008, NPN board member since 2011

Like all parents I know, I am constantly on the hunt for fresh ideas for free fun for the kiddos. I have a nanny part-time, and I am even more determined to find free things for them to do on the days I work. Luckily, Chicago has a plethora of free activities every day of the week.

Cindy McCarthy is a mother of two, an urban explorer of kid-sized Chicago and founder of on the go Chicago, a website that highlights the

best kid-sized places to eat, shop, play and learn in Chicago. Find more tips on free family fun in your neighborhood at onthegoChicago.com.

SUNDAy MONDAyy TUESDAy WEDNESDAy THURSDAy fRIDAy SATURDAyExplore nature and check out the glass- enclosed beehive at the North Park Village Nature Center.

Be transported into a fabulous fantasyland with a great story read by the Storybook Mom at Little Threads every Monday at 11 a.m.

Jam with the under-10 crowd at Toys et Cetera in Andersonville every Tuesday at 11 a.m. and 4 p.m.

Dance and sing along with Bubbles at Whole Foods Lincoln Park every Wednesday at 10 a.m.

Chase butterflies in the warm and beautiful Butterfly Haven at the Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum.

Check out the Farm and enjoy a Mr. Singer concert every Friday at 9:15 a.m. and 10 a.m. in the Farm at the Lincoln Park Zoo.

Discover the Power of Plants and have fun creating the Family Make-&-Take activity at the Garfield Park Conservatory every Saturday between 1 and 3 p.m.

npnparents.org • 11

12 • Parent to Parent, Spring 2012

SOcIAl SNAPSHOT

cONNEcTINg WITH fAMIlIES THROUgH THE NPN BlOg, fAcEBOOk AND TWITTER fEEDS

SOcIAl SNAPSHOT gIVEAWAy WINNERCongratulations to Lana Gwinn, our Social Snapshot winner! By sharing on Facebook her tradition of a holiday potluck, she and her family won a 4-pack of tickets to Feld Entertainment’s Disney on Ice presents Dare to Dream!

SPOTlIgHT ON cHIlD cARE: TWEEPlES TO fOllOW fOR TAkINg cARE Of OUR lITTlE ONES!1. For all things safety, follow @SafetySquad and get the

latest breaking news.

2. Worried about product safety and recalls? Visit @kidsindanger

3. You never know what little ones will get into and eat! Keep @ilPoisonCenter (800-222-1222) on your list of emergency contacts.

4. Want to know when space is available for playtime? Read the updates from @littlebeanscafe, @picklesplayroom and @kookaburracafe

5. @FussyBabynet offers support and understanding to parents through stressful times.

6. Find personality tests for screening nannies, au pairs and babysitters: @nannytest

7. Only have a free minute to figure out a parenting issue? Check out @sixtysecondparent

8. Figure out what to do with little ones while the cold weather sticks around: @tockids, @onthegochicago, @chicagokids and @kidgrade

9. Trying to figure out what to feed your kiddos? Follow @sqoneorganics, @famdinner, @HappyMama_Chi and @babycenter

10. Great baby and kids gear news is available through @giggle, @coolmompicks and @babbleditors

“SOcIAl ScENE”: OUT AND ABOUT WITH NPN MEMBERS AND VOlUNTEERS

Moms in Business Pre-Holiday Mixer at Flirty Girl Fitness. ©Julia Franzosa Photography julia-franzosa.com

Moms in Business Pre-Holiday Mixer at Flirty Girl Fitness. Photo courtesy of Eva Ho evaho.com

npnparents.org • 13

Goodnight Moon PJ Party at Chicago Children’s Theatre.Photos courtesy of Bum Bul Bee Photography bumbulbee.com/

3823 N. Spaulding Ave. Chicago • Text or talk: 773-997-7086Visit Childish Pursuits on Facebook!

Infant enrollment starting now. Going back to work? Feel secure and cared for!

We offer our parents:The focused care of a Nannyshare

and we never call off sick.

Part-time, flex/rotating schedule and drop-ins accepted!

Flexibility in drop-off and pick-up times at no extra charge.

Home cooked organic meals and snacks.

A subtle, but defined, introduction to pre-school learning activities.

NORTH SHORE’S

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ENROLL TODAY FOR SUMMER 2012ENROLL TODAY FOR SUMMER 2012

847.295.4900 bannerdaycamp.com

Sports Adventure ArtsAquatics Ages 3 – 12

Pre-New Year’s Eve Celebration at Lil’ Kickers Bradley Place. ©Julia Franzosa Photography julia-franzosa.com

fOllOW US: @NPNPARENTS!Our feed is chock-full of family-friendly Chicago events, news, fun and everything in between!

“lIkE” NPN ON fAcEBOOk Check out more photos from our fantastic events!

“PIN” WITH US ON PINTEREST For more fantastic ideas: pinterest.com/npnparents and familyfinds.com/npnparents

14 • Parent to Parent, Spring 2012

Erin Carlson is a full-time legal secretary and mother to 18-month-old

Sydney. They live in Albany Park.

THE NEW cITy By Erin Carlson, NPN member since 2010

I moved to Chicago from Nebraska the year after graduating from college. I have lived in the Chicago area for 18 years, the last 11 in the city. It seems the longer I live in Chicago, the smaller it becomes. I felt like Chicago was my city—I knew my way around as well as any cab driver, I could come up with a variety of itineraries for guests, I knew where to shop when I was looking for something in particular, and I knew the food, activities and festivals that made a neighborhood special.

So it came as a complete surprise, after the birth of my first child in June 2010, that Chicago transformed into a city I was suddenly unfamiliar with. Within days, the city I knew before my daughter was born wasn’t the same; it felt larger, less friendly and more foreign. I realized my needs in the city had changed drastically.

Now, a simple trip to a favorite restaurant didn’t just involve deciding what I was hungry for, but also a convoluted array of panicked questions: Is there a changing table in the bathroom? Will I be able to fit the stroller in the restaurant? If not, is it safe to leave it outside? Can I breastfeed, or will I get dirty looks? Is the nearest el stop wheelchair accessible?

Shopping for clothes and shoes became buying baby clothes and finding the best deal on diapers. Running errands without a care in the world became a race to see how many places I could get to before the next nap or feeding time. Looking for the best food and drink deals became finding a restaurant where I could eat and nurse without being noticed and that was kid-friendly. Finding the perfect hair stylist and manicurist became finding the perfect pediatrician and daycare provider.

I’ve also seen my fellow Chicagoans in a different light since becoming a parent. I never knew how much I would appreciate someone holding a door open for me or offering a seat on the el. I never realized how far a kind smile and knowing glance can go when I’m dealing with a meltdown. Becoming a parent has also made me more considerate, helpful and sympathetic to other parents struggling with their little ones, because if you have a kid, you’ve been there too.

Despite the shock of seeing Chicago in a new way, I appreciate living in a city that has more to offer than I imagined before my needs and priorities changed. My daughter is 18 months old, and we have taken advantage of numerous kid-friendly activities in the city already, including music lessons, museum memberships, parks and indoor play cafes. Since I’m a working mom, we try to do at least one fun “field trip” every weekend; the last two years we have taken the Holiday El, which will continue to be a holiday tradition. I enjoy every minute I have with my daughter, and I get excited thinking about how much fun we will have as she gets older. As my daughter grows and changes, so too will Chicago, evolving into another new city each step of the way. I am grateful to have resources, such as NPN, that give new parents the tools to rediscover and redefine this great “new” city we continue to call home.

AS My DAUgHTER gROWS AND cHANgES, SO TOO WIll cHIcAgO, EVOlVINg INTO ANOTHER NEW cITy EAcH STEP Of THE WAy.

Photo.courtesy.Erin.Carlson.

npnparents.org • 15

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16 • Parent to Parent, Spring 2012

To protect the precious sleep you get, do not eat any large meals at least two hours before bed. Sugar and caffeine may affect our ability to sleep well. Set up a bedtime routine. Whether it is a bath and a book or some other ritual, routines can help us fall asleep faster. Your bedroom, just like your baby’s, needs to be dark, cool and quiet. Use earplugs or noise machines to help reduce outside noises.

According to the Mayo Clinic, our long-awaited bundles of joy can cause a mixture of powerful emotions. One unexpected emotion may be depression. Many moms experience the baby blues after childbirth, which commonly include mood swings, sadness and crying spells. These symptoms usually do not last more than a couple weeks.

Postpartum depression is a much more serious condition, and the signs are much more intense. Symptoms may include feeling that you cannot take care of yourself or your family, insomnia, intense irritability, overwhelming fatigue, lack of joy in life, crying, difficulty motivating yourself and thoughts of harming yourself or your baby.

A mother who has any symptoms of postpartum depression should call his/her health care provider for medical options. Another source of help is the confidential MOMS postpartum depression hotline at 866-364-MOMS. It can be helpful to talk with other mothers or join a support group. NPN has a wonderful network of new moms groups and networking opportunities.

The Centers for Disease Control report 15–20% of women—more than one million in the U.S.—are affected by postpartum depression every year. Know that you are not alone. And most importantly, know that what you are going through is temporary and treatable.

Having a baby is a very special time in our lives. It can be as exciting as it is exhausting. Adults normally need between seven and nine hours of sleep a night to feel fully rested. A newborn typically wakes every two to three hours to feed. By the time we get them fed, burped, changed and comforted, it feels like it is time to start the process all over again. Good advice has always been to get as much rest as you can, whenever you can. Use family and friends when they offer, and ask for outside help when they don’t. Many families do not have the luxury of having their support team close enough to help during this time, which can cause additional feelings of stress and anxiety. Add these feelings to physical exhaustion, and it can carry a high price to our health. Hiring a nighttime baby nurse or postpartum doula can literally be just what the doctor ordered.

Sleep deprivation can build quickly after a few sleepless nights. Since babies typically do not come home with set schedules, you need to create one for yourself. Work with the other caregivers in your home to determine when you can carve out a four-to-six-hour uninterrupted slot for sleep. For example, you take “baby duty” from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m., then your partner takes the 2–8 a.m. shift, enabling you both scheduled time to sleep.

SlEEP DEPRIVATION AND POSTPARTUM DEPRESSIONBy Pam Jones and Pat Porrey, Sweet Dreams Infant Care, NPN member since 2010

Sweet Dreams Infant Care (sweetdreamsinfantcare.com) specializes in

night time infant care, including RNs, postpartum, doulas, lactation

support, parenting classes and sleep training. Co-owner Pam Jones,

RN, lives in Tinley Park and has two children. Co-owner Pat Porrey, LC,

has a master’s in psychology, two sons and two grandchildren.

USE fAMIly AND fRIENDS WHEN THEy OffER, AND ASk fOR OUTSIDE HElP WHEN THEy DON’T.

Photo.courtesy.Sweet.Dreams.Infant.Care.

npnparents.org • 17

The Center for Children and Families provides family-centered assessment and treatment for children birth through 8.

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18 • Parent to Parent, Spring 2012

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Jim Schofield is director of sales for Renew Media. He supports NPN,

TNT, Dare2Tri and FriendsofLAM.org, which he started with his cousin to

combat a rare lung disease. Active with NPN since 2008, he serves on the

Wake Up & Boogie Down committee. He and Sophie live in Lakeview.

THE gIRl WHO cHANgED My lIfE By Jim Schofield, NPN member since 2008

Daughter? I was expecting a son. My life changed July 2, 2008, when Sophie Caitlyn Schofield appeared a week ahead of time. Being a traditionalist, I went against the wishes of the ex-wife and mother-in-law, choosing to wait to find out the sex of the baby until the birth. You can imagine the surprise when the tiny six pound, one ounce bundle turned out to be a beautiful baby daughter rather than a son.

I had many discussions with my former manager about his two daughters, always thinking to myself that wasn’t the route I planned on taking—as if, at the birth, I had a choice between Coke and Pepsi at the vending machine. He told me about the new home he was building and the fresh sod he had just laid for the front lawn. He explained how his daughters loved to go outside to pet the blades of grass and always wanted to water them. He then contrasted the story with how many times he probably would have had to re-sod the front yard if he had the destructive force of two sons instead. Needless to say, my old boss’s wisdom proved to be correct. And I’ve never regretted having a beautiful baby girl for a second.

My life has changed completely during the past three-plus years since Sophie joined it. My free time is filled at the park endlessly sampling the swings and slides while keeping both eyes on Sophie’s tricycle—to guard it from the other kids, who would naturally take it, according to Sophie. Winter was special with trips to Lincoln Park Zoo for Zoo Lights and strapping on skates at Wrigley, with constant reminders that I have to help her skate because she’s not a person yet and can’t do it on her own. Home is filled with endless tea parties and arts and crafts, especially anything messy like finger painting. The bonus is the combination of an old picture frame and an original Sophie masterpiece, which makes for priceless pieces of artwork for the walls of our home.

The end of the day is truly the biggest reward. Following the reading of bedtime stories, a tired little three-year-old clutches my arms while her mind slips into dreamscape about butterflies or fireflies (she makes a choice, then instructs me to dream about whichever one she didn’t choose). With that, my day and my life are complete until 6:45 a.m. the next day. Sophie wakes up and informs me that she’s not tired anymore and the sun woke up, and we embark on another journey.

HOME IS fIllED WITH ENDlESS TEA PARTIES AND ARTS AND cRAfTS, ESPEcIAlly ANyTHINg MESSy lIkE fINgER PAINTINg.

Photo.courtesy.Jim.Schofield.

20 • Parent to Parent, Spring 2012

HOW TO USE NPN TO fIND cHIlD cAREBy Melanie Schlachter, NPN Associate Executive Director, NPN member since 2007

Tips for your child care search:• NPN’s Discussion Forum is filled with child care threads—both

providers wanted and available. If you don’t find what you’re looking for, start your own thread.

• The Forum contains lists of interview questions, contract information and nanny/daycare logs, which are very handy!

• The Forum is filled with in-home daycare options and feedback from other parents.

• Setting clear expectations during the interview process is key when solidifying a long-term child care arrangement.

• Check multiple references and consider performing a formal background check.

• Nanny tax information is available through mybreedlove.com, or search “nanny tax” in the Forum for additional advice.

• NPN’s Expectant & New Parent education series frequently covers child care topics. Visit NPN’s Calendar for information and RSVP.

• Check out NPN’s Parent Perks for discounts and special offers from daycares, nanny agencies and other child care providers.

• I recommend a trial period—from a few hours to a week—to get comfortable with your new child care provider and allow you to answer questions and iron out details before the arrangement becomes permanent.

• Take a deep breath and trust your instincts. If something feels awry with your child care provider, it may be. It may take some searching and trial and error, but you’ll find the right child care situation for your family. NPN is a tremendous resource for helping every step of the way!

Finding full-time, part-time and occasional child care can be overwhelming. Fortunately, NPN can alleviate the worry and stress by providing multiple avenues for parent-vetted child care resources.

Nanny searchNPN has helped our family find the right solutions frequently. I felt such personal torment when we were seeking our first full-time nanny. After our preliminary search came up dry, we turned to NPN for recommendations on nannies and nanny agencies. The thought of handing over our newborn to “just anyone” was more than my postpartum emotions could handle, but the agency we used (highly recommended through NPN’s Discussion Forum) provided someone who met us in our home, talked me off the ledge and found us the nanny of our dreams, who is like a member of our family. The Discussion Forum also is full of families who want to find new homes for their trusted nannies due to moves, children starting school or parents choosing to stay home.

Babysitting co-opThrough the Discussion Forum, we learned about the Northside Babysitting Co-op, a group of 35 families babysitting for one another by tracking time instead of exchanging money. At a time when we were sitter-challenged and our budget was tight, the co-op provided an unmatched level of child care experience and reliability; it continues to connect us with amazing and supportive families. I know several people who have started up their own co-op arrangements with friends and neighbors. It’s a great system for leveraging help from people you know without feeling the guilt or pressure of potentially one-sided arrangements.

Occasional sittersOur night and weekend babysitters have fluctuated throughout the years. Sitters have moved, changed careers or started their own families. We’ve found many fantastic sitters through NPN, great for those much-needed date nights. Many families and sitters post on the Discussion Forum if they are looking for occasional hours, and we’ve felt tremendous confidence with the recommendations we’ve received.

Nanny-shareMost recently, when our family was looking for regular, part-time child care, we turned to NPN, posting our “wish list” on the Discussion Forum. We landed a dream nanny-share situation with a family up the street who has children the same ages as ours, a true “super nanny” up to the challenge of watching four kids ages four and younger! As nanny-shares continue to grow more popular, I recommend leveraging NPN to seek out families and nannies with whom to “share.”

Melanie Schlachter is eternally grateful for the lasting friendships and support she

received from her NPN New Moms Group and frequently relies on invaluable tips

and resources from NPN’s Discussion Forum. She lives in Andersonville with her

husband Christian, son Jack, daughter Clara and dog Parker.

Photo.courtesy.Melanie.Schlachter.

npnparents.org • 21

ENROLL TODAY!Rolling Admissions for Preschool • Parent and Toddler Programs

Smart Love Preschool Offers:• Full & half-day preschool and JK for 3, 4, & 5 year-olds

• Parent and Toddler Explorations (Age 12 months to 4 years)–Morning Classes

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• A beautiful mansion setting in Chicago’s historic North Side Buena Park neighborhood

• Large outdoor space, including play area and children’s garden

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3100 n. ashland at Barry – Chicago Mayfest

Suggested donation of $10

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LET THE BIDDING BEGIN...NPN Silent Auction — May 1–6

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22 • Parent to Parent, Spring 2012

lINcOlN PARkBubbles Academy, 1504 N. FremontKookaburra Play Café, 2267 N. ClybournLittle Beans Café, 1809 W. WebsterPump it Up, 821 W. EastmanOpen play times

UrbaBaby, 1117 W. Armitage Free story times second and fourth Thursdays of month

lINcOlN SqUARE/NORTH cENTERThe Book Cellar, 4736 N. Lincoln Storytime every Friday at 11 a.m.

Lillstreet Art Center, 4401 N. Ravenswood

Pickles Playroom, 2315 W. LawrenceOpen play

Timeless Toys, 4749 N. LincolnTrain table, toys to explore

Welles Park Pool, 2333 W. Sunnyside Free open tot and family swim during select times/days

NEAR SOUTH/NEAR WEST Lil Kickers, 2343 S. Throop Free open play; call for days/times

Museum adventures: Adler Planetarium, Field Museum, Shedd Aquarium

Indoor parking tip: Target on Roosevelt

NORTHWEST SIDEMcDonald’s Play Space, 3241 W. Peterson Free indoor play area

OlD TOWN/gOlD cOASTChicago Children’s Museum, Navy Pier

TIP: Add “plus parking” to your membership for $80

Open Books, 213 W. Institute Donate/buy great used kids books, story times

Skating in the Sky, John Hancock Observatory Through April 8

cITy kID cTA ADVENTURES:Downtown: Ride on the el downtown and back, or stop at Macy’s and use the underground pedway.

Clybourn Corridor: Start at Petco, move to Toys Etc., quick stop at Pottery Barn, onto Right Start and Treasure Island (which has huge aisles), and finally Barnes and Noble children’s section.

TIP: From any Brown line stop, head to Rockwell where the el is at street level. Stop at Beans & Bagels while you are there.

ANDERSONVIllE/UPTOWNChase Park Tot Spot, 4701 N. AshlandOpen play, check for times/days

Chicago Aquarium, 5040 N. Clark Great place to check out the fish

Women and Children First, 5233 N. Clark Free story time Wednesdays 10:30–11 a.m.

Indoor parking tip: Target, Broadway/Wilson

lAkEVIEWBarnes and Noble, Webster Place Train table, story time during the week

Building Blocks Toy Store, 3306 N. Lincoln (also 2130 W. Division, Wicker Park) Train table, events and browsing fun

Explore & Much More, 3827 N. SouthportOpen play time

Flourish Studios, 3020 N. Lincoln Art drop-in during the week and story times

Our Lady of Mount Carmel Academy, 720 W. Belmont Open play, $5 per family every Friday

Indoor parking tip: Whole Foods, Waveland/Halsted and Jewel, Southport/Addison

NPN NEIgHBORHOOD PIckS:BEAT THE WINTER DOlDRUMSCompiled by Amy Archer, NPN Program Manager, NPN member since 2003

npnparents.org • 23

You’ll find Amy Archer and her family at the Lego Store (Water Tower Place, 835 N.

Michigan) on the first Tuesday of every month for the free mini-model build (starts at

5 p.m.). For a fun family night out, everyone enjoys Dave & Busters, 1030 N. Clark.

SUBURBSTake a break from the city and road trip!

ABT Electronics (Glenview)Exploritorium (Skokie) Jump Zone (Niles)Kohl Children’s Museum (Glenview)Make-A-Messterpiece (Glenview)Public libraries (e.g., Niles)Skatium (Skokie) – indoor ice skating

Wonder! (Deerfield)YMCA pool (Niles)

SOUTH SIDEChicago Women’s Park Garden, 1827 S. Indiana Free indoor play area

Daystar Center, 1550 S. State Overflow coffee shop and kids classes

Hyde Park Neighborhood Club, 5480 S. KenwoodPlay space and classes

Museum of Science & Industry

Roosevelt Branch-Chicago Public Library, 1101 W. Taylor Kids’ programming

TIP: Look for metered parking in lot on the southeast side of the museum

WESTTOWN (BUckTOWN/WIckER PARk/ UkRANIAN VIllAgE/HUMBOlDT PARk)BAKE, 2246 W. NorthKids’ toy area while parents enjoy a coffee or delicious baked goods

Kid City, 1837 W. GrandOpen play

Purple Monkey, 2040 N. WesternOpen play

• Enjoy UNLIMITED CLASSESduring the months of June,

July and August!• SUMMER CAMP (3-8 years)

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Parent & Me • Gymnastics • Sports • Camps • Birthday Parties and more!Parent & Me • Gymnastics • Sports • Camps • Birthday Parties and more!

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the deposit. May not be combinedwith another offer. Expires 07/15/12.

Enroll for 5 Daysof Summer Camp,Receive 1 Free!Must present coupon at timeof booking. Expires 07/15/12.

Neighborhood Parents Network of Chicago 3020 N. Lincoln Ave.Chicago, IL [email protected]

UPcOMINg EVENTSVisit our Calendar for more great events all over Chicago!

APRIL

24

MAY

6

MAY

1910 a.m.–2 p.m.

Stay connected!“Like” Neighborhood Parents Network of

Chicago (NPN) on Facebook and suggest our page to your friends!

Follow us on twitter, twitter.com/NPNparents,

and send us a Tweet!

Events, news, contests and giveaways!

NPN Spring Silent Auction

Preview Week April 24–30Bidding May 1–6

Support NPN while scoring a great deal on amazing auction packages! Visit biddingforgood.com/npnparents

Chicago KIDS Day

Mayfest (Ashland/Barry)

A day celebrating healthy kids—crafts, games, healthy snacks and more—FREE and open to the public! chicagokidsday.com

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PAIDChicago, IL

Permit No. 2536

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