VOLUME CVIl, NUMBER 21 PASADENA, CALIFORNIA APRIL 1, 2006

compulsionsnunlber 42.

a surprising move,Church of Scientology re­leased a statement yesterdaydenouncing the formation ofthe new cult.

"No one should be foolishenough to take the words ofa science fiction writer as re­ligious " the statementsaid. "To completely chan~e

one's life for unproven, 11­logical quackery is just stu­pid."

So after discovering themeaning of life, the uni­verse, and everything, whatelse is left for wilson?

"I don't know," he said."More work I guess. There'salways that cure for cancer."

i::i The most positive reac­~ don by far have come from~. fans of Douglas Adams,~ whose book Life, the Uni­~ verse and Everything face­; tiously declared the answer~ was 42. Many have begun to[; treat Adams's work as Holyis Scripture, asserting that Ad­~ ams was a prophet of

f

can be describeda of nUlnbl~rs," he"People, can becrudelyweight, andphysical measurements. Ofcourse, a person is muchsimpler than meaning ofthe universe and everything,but it shouldn't be surprisingthat an integer value can bethe answer."

After the briefinterruption,Wilson continued to describehis proof. However, his lec­ture style soon lulled the lay­audience to sleep, includingmuch of the live viewershipwatching on television. Notwanting to seem irrespon­sible, many reporters justnodded and pretended to un­derstand the proof soon afterthey awoke.

to Toddother administrators,course averages arenow being curved the'D' range. For those stu­dents already on the lowend of the GPA scale,Todd hopes the fear offlaming out may be agood motivator to, "quitscrewing around."

college.

Continued on 2

day weflame,burned.

Caltech's presence inFinal Four was just as un­likely as their victory.ceiving an automatic bid byvirtue of competing in the

boys who got last laugh.After clawing back fromthat early deficit, Caltechtook a one point lead on abank shot by senior starterJordan Carlson, a poten­tial first round NBA draftpick affectionately knownas Jordan. With 5 sec­onds left, Florida one

6-0 ...Al.ll\;/....H

Christ:opJller Yu swat-

2006 PhysOO1c Final solutions Page 13Pictures of your mom naked last night Page 69P = NP proof on Pages 70-1337Playboy recruits from Anime Club photos on Page DDThe Ultimate Question Page Aleph-Null

has discov­me:anillg life, the

universe, and everything.So what was the answer

to the question that has baf­fled generations of philoso­phers?

A simple number: 42.Initially, many reporters

believed it to be an AprilFools' prank, but as leadingmathematicians from around

-----~---------------I the world verified Wilson'sproof, the atmosphere turnedsomber.

"What is that supposedto tell us," one flabbergast­ed reporter asked. "That Ishould drink 42 gallons ofmilk a day? Eat 42 pieces of

edgewe showed more

and used our mindsmore other team inthe country. when wefeU behind 23-0, we neverstopped scheming. We nev­er stopped believing."

Florida towered overCaltech's helpless front­court, but it was the brilliant

Caltech Continues Magi­and Stuns Florida

in Final FourIndianapolis (AP)Midnight struck Satur­

day night, but Cinderella'scarriage remained in tact.The little basketball team

camea seemingly

surmclunltab.le deficit tofavored

were a clown college,I it should becalled, 'Clowntech. ,,,He then followed with,

is concerned about "The students at Caltechexcessive shower- could learn a thing or

ing of Caltech students two about hard work.with outlandishly high \Vhen I walk aroundmarks. Students can on campus, I see slack­now look forward to re- jawed cavepeople ev­ceiving the letter grade erywhere I tum. It dis­that they deserve, and gusts me." When Todd

the Serbian and Yngosla­area.

endowment, which

goScholars a scllol:rrsJl1pfor those applicantsdisplay "presidential traits"and "superior leadershipskills." White, Yugoslavianfreshmen, sophomores, andjuniors are highly encour­aged to apply.

to onegernaut Monday, therehave to an addendum tothat list: Caltech!

APRIL 1, 2006

Slobodan Milosevic, for­mer Yugoslavian presidentconvicted war cnmt~S

the 1990's, diedin Hague, notfore leaving a generous $28million to The CaliforniaInstitute of Technology.

pains me to see stu­dents treated so badly bytheir administration," saidMilosevic, who himself tor­tured and killed millions in

a statewas simply amazIng,

baby!" exclaimed tlaJmb1oy­ant announcer Dick

As the game got close,even Caltech

Continued From page 1

Southern California Inter­collegiate Athletic Confer­ence Tournament, Caltechwas the first 27th seed toreach NCAA tourna­ment.

meet results andsome interesting databaseproblems, visit the teamwebsite at http://running.caltech.edu/track.php

WINTERPLAGUES CITI~

ZENS OF POORESTCONTINENT

Denizens of Antarctica, acontinent with a per capitayearly income lower thanany other continent at ap­proximately 500 mediumsized fish, have sufferedanother set back in their at­tempts to shed the chainsof poverty. Following asummer in which tempera­tures failed to raise enoughto melt the snow on theground, a harsh winter isforecast. Scientists whostudy the weather on thecontinent predict that thewinter of 2006 may be ascold and dark as the wintersof 2005,2004 and 2002~ in

temperatures stayedfreezing for days on

attempts bysmrer:al Hld.llSU:lal nations to

cOInrnlam1ed. a r"n~nh,T_

a stnlpeda nalJl1et,lg

MY NAMEIS: New Employee" to usea and elastic tubingto Katherine Breedenthrough a 15:01 5k, lappingthe entire field twice.

Though 1 want to win asmuch as anyone, I knowthat it cannot come at a costlike that. "This must end" Ideclared, determination vis­ible the harsh and focusedset my eyes, my steely re­solve showing through like

vengeful snowballout to defy everything youthought you knew aboutthennodynaJmics.

Knowing Julie was toopowerful to take on directly,I tackled the Hamburglar

PHILADELPHIAEA~

GLES WIN WORLDBASEBALL CLAS­SIC, WORLD SE~

RlES OF POKERMter a season in which

Philadelphia's NFL fran­chise lost many star play­ers to injury, engaged ina public falling out with asuperstar wide receiver andrecorded only six wins, Ea­gles fans again have reasonto be proud of their team.The Eagles defeated Japan24-3 in the World BaseballClassic, aided by the stronghitting of DT Hollis Thom­as (known as 'The Ham­burgler'), who also sackedJapan's pitcher 3 times, andthe excellent fielding ofWRTodd (known as'The said"Wow,tonot "''''",,'''u

@

UtSl

THE CALIFORNIA TECH

Le'vesl:me cackled wildlychanted, "I've sold my

soul to the defonned manrepresents all evil and

haunts the dreams of sinnersacross the world."

I stared at the woman inhorror and when fullnature of thiscried, "No,wasn't worth

Szweda just Do][e-'vaulltedLibrary

MageeGrand Canyon,

could you sell your soul toRonald McDonald?"

"I have no regrets," wasflat reply as she used a

javelin to kill old horses tochop up into eighth-inch-

BY: HAMILTONY FALK

PRESIDENT BUSHINVOKES 25THAMENDMENT,CHENEY IN POW­ER

George W. Bush declaredhimself unable to dischargethe powers and duties ofhis office Thursday, leavingDick Cheney as acting Pres­ident of the United States.While Bush did not providea reason for his steppingdown, sources have recent­ly reported that Bush was"jonesin' for some chiU­axin' time at the ranch" and"plum tuckered from all thethinkin' and thoughtin' he'dbeen doing as President."

Cheney described thenews as bittersweet, sug­gesting while longedfor

2 APRIL FOOLS'----.==----=-----~-::;;;--------=-::;;----

Gators",-~...............

H LIVOLUME CVIl, NUMBER 21 PASADENA, CALIFORNIA APRIL 3, 2006

quickly students jumped right inand became fully involved withwhat they were doing," recalledJason Juarez, an intern on staff atthe Y. Juarez preferred to thinkof the trips as "educational op­portunities" rather than as classfield trips where students weresupposed to learn something pre-

Continued on page 4

planning and organizing,commented ChristopherKealey, the Marketingand Development Direc­tor of the Y, who alsowent on the Owens Val­ley trip. "We're big onstudent leadership. Ourbosses are ExComm,"he said, referring to thegroup of students whoplaya large role in man­aging most of the Y's ac­tivities.

"On the trips, you geta great intermingling ofgrads and undergrads,"Kealey noted. After along day's work, thegroups would oftenspend evenings togethertalking about environ- Mold remediation by Jonathan Gardnermental issues and learn­ing about each other's values.These stimulating conversationswere intended to get students re­flecting on their own experiences.Kealey thought that it was impor­tant for students to not only getthe chance to give back to soci­ety, but to learn something aboutthemselves as well.

"I was impressed with how

tlmate Fris­See page 10 for story.

olunteer

Instead of hopping on a plane tothe tropics for a week of partying,some Techers opted for a less tra­ditional way to spend their SpringBreak this year. Two weeks ago,over forty students took part inthree separate community serviceoriented trips organized by theCaltech Y. Devoting part or allof their highly-valued time awayfrom classes, problem sets, andlab, these groups of undergradu­ates, graduates, and Y staff helpedrebuild hurricane-ravaged Biloxi,Mississippi, experienced a differ­ent culture in Mexico, and wentto dried out Owens Valley, Cali­fornia.

In addition to the variety ofcommunity service activities itoffers throughout the year, theCaltech Y introduced the Alterna­tive Spring Break trips to give stu­dents the opportunity to explorefirst-hand a number of problemsthat face the world today. Thisis not a new idea; it is a growing,nation-wide trend that the Y hasbeen a part of for over a decade.

Student leaders do most of the

Stephen Hawking meets with students in Tom Mannion's cooking class. Hear him speak thisTuesday; more information at http://events.caltech.edu/events/event-3221.html

StudentsBY: MATTHEW

tially reported the truck contactedsecurity again to alert them thathe saw the men with the truckand cannon leaving eastbound onCalifornia Boulevard.

Security searched the area andfound no signs of the men or theFleming Cannon.

"This was not a couple of guysjust getting together," said Hen­derson. "This was well plannedand very sophisticated."

At this point no one knows whotook the cannon or whether theincident was a theft or a prank.

"I'm not setting aside the possi­bility that it's a theft, but overall,based on everything that we'veseen, my feeling is that it is aprank," said Henderson.

Several theories on who is re­sponsible for the taking of thecannon are circulating the cam­pus.

"The theory that makes themost sense is that [the incident] issomehow involved with HarveyMudd since it happened aroundthe twentieth anniversary of thelast time they stole it," said Flem­ing House President Scott Jor­dan.

Twenty years ago, also in thelatter part of March, a group ofMudders took the cannon in aneffort to create a rivalry betweenCaltech and HMC. The studentsfork-lifted the cannon onto atruck around 8:30am, accordingto an issue ofThe California Techfrom the week of the heist.

Similarly to the 2006 incident,students in 1986 posed as workerstaking the cannon for restorationand provided forged work orderswhen security officers questionedthem.

"Overall, the general feeling isthat Mudd did it," said Hender­son. "I'm waiting for it to showup on someone's lawn. I actually

Continued on page 5

Fleming Cannon GoneBY: ANNA HISZPANSKI

Most Caltech students like achallenging puzzle. However, fig­uring out what happened to a 1.7ton, 130-year-old, antique cannonwith a twelve-foot barrel is prov­ing to be more of a challenge thanit initially appeared to be. EarlyTuesday morning, at approxi­mately 6:00 am according to se­curity reports, the Fleming Can­non was realized to be missing.

A service mechanic noticed agray and black early GMC modeltruck towing the Fleming Cannonon a trailer and alerted security at5:26am.

"When security stopped thetruck [on Wilson Avenue], thepeople presented the security offi­cer with a work order saying theywere to move the cannon fromSteele to the parking lot next toSpalding Building, which they infact did," said Caltech Chief ofSecurity, Gregg Henderson.

"That is not unusual for us;we do run into contractors thathave work that we were unawareof [....] It's not unusual for us tohave contractors come to cam­pus and work at one or two in themorning."

The security officer guided thedriver to the Spalding parking loton California Boulevard, and themen unattached the trailer withthe cannon from the truck.

However, the workers from thefictitious contractor "Rudolphand Sleppan" did not remove theFleming Cannon from the trailerbecause the "foreman" stated thathe feared the trailer may break inthe process.

Believing the workers and pa­pers to be legitimate, the securityguard left them to their job. Ap­proximately twenty minutes lateraccording to the security report,the service mechanic who ini-

Caltech's chess team secondplace in nation.

Story Next Week!

In This IssueThe Return of the ASCIT DVD LibraryAnnouncing: GAYpril .Re: Herschel on the War on TerrorCensorship and YouTennis Team Plays MIT

Page 5Page 7Page 8Page 8Page 10

Health Insurance RemainsMandatory

Page?

caused by natural disasters andothers caused by humans. Theidea has been to promote a senseof responsibility to the commu­nity by offering the opportunityto give back.

Overall, the Alternative SpringBreak Hips offered by the CaltechY are designed to open up stu­dents to variety of struggles facedall throughout the world, some

was good be(;au:sethis one issue inabout the co'mplex:iti(~s.

Besides about the con-troversy over region, mostof the four day trip was devotedto preventing the rapid environ­mental decline of the valley. Thegroup cut down harmful speciesof plants and covered up certainpaths to protect the landscapefrom erosion by errant hikers.

This experience gave each ofthe group members the opportu­nity to have an informed opin­ion on this particular issue andsparked interesting conversationsabout the moral conflict between'urban sprawl and environmentalconservation. The trip dealt withthe consequences of Los Angelesbeing a metropolitan area affect­ing other regions in sometimesdrastic manners that are oftengiven minimal consideration.

APRIL 3, 2006

From left to Robbie Xiao, Eva Murdock, JosephineGao, Janice Wang, Oslnnd, Natalie Szweda, ChristopherTJ NaviiarekaUu, Robin Deepak Kumar

Break trip for many years now, atestament to the patience and per­sistence that are demanded espe­

of the least popular causes.Fi!:rhtino with the Los AngelesDe:prurtm.ent of Water and Power

to rewater the

OWENS VALLEY, CALI­FORNIA

Once a fertile grassland, theOwens Valley region is now es­sentially dry, a result of a losingbattle with the city of Los Ange­les over water rights. The major­ity of the water is redirected intoan aqueduct that supplies LosAngeles with a third of its drink­ing water. A few hours north ofCaltech, this region is now knownfor its desert-like appearance andthe dry lake is often the source ofthe dust storms that plague thevalley.

The Owens Valley trip has beenoffered as an Alternative Spring

From left to right, front row: Andreea Stuparu, Amy Trangsrnd, DanielBirt, Yijia Chen, Alexandra Velian, Angela Shih, Greg Fletcher. Backrow: Simon Kung, Simona Tescu, Jennifer Yim, Rajan Kulkarni, ShawnYu, David Chen

Immersed in this new environ­ment, the group spent most oftheir time renovating a commu­nity center in which they werestaying. They put together book­shelves and spruced up a roomby painting a mural on the walls.Time was also spent playing withchildren in a nearby orphanage.

"The food was really good,"Yijia Chen said, comparing theirmeals to some places aroundCaltech. "It totally wipes CDSoff the table."

This was an entirely new ex­perience for most of the group."I've never really been to Mexi­co, so I didn't really know what toexpect," recalled Jennifer Yim, asophomore who had not been on aCaltech Y trip before. "I felt likeI contributed something, but youcan't really do too much in fourdays," she thought, having sym­pathy for the conditions peoplethere were living in.

The 14 people who went onthe trip were also given a tour ofTijuana, seeing first-hahd the ex­treme disparity between the richand the poor. "There were somepeople living. in mounds of gar­bage,"Yim remembered.

The group was also taken to theMexican side of the border, fromwhich many people have attempt­ed the dangerous journey into theUnited States. There they found amemorial with crosses and flow­ers, dedicated to the thousandsof people who died on their waynorth. This issue was very rele­vant with the current immigrationbill debated in Congress.

The offered students a veryreal perspective on the third­world problems that people facejust across the border, only hoursaway from Caltech.

Recognizing that communityservice does not stop at bor­der crossings, another group ofCaItech students made the trekinto Mexico to spend four daysliving in a completely differentcultural setting.

as if nothing had happened. "Itwas interesting to see the damagein Biloxi and then see what wereconsidered the priorities to rebuildin New Orleans," said Cevallos.

The group returned early Sun­day morning with just enough timeto prepare for classes again. "[TheBiloxi community has] a lot ofwork coming up," Ahad noted asa final thought. "They definitelyneed a lot of people to help."

localstheiralIos exrllaiJi1ed.

"1 got two views when 1 wasthere. a lot of feltpowerless, which is ex-pected," said Ahad, pointing outthe fact that the whole of the fish­ing industry in Biloxi was wipedout. "I also met people who wereindependent. Some people ap­preciated what you're doing, oth­ers were frustrated. That's okaybecause you have to understandwhat they've been through."

On the way back, the groupspent a few hours looking aroundNew Orleans, which was alsobadly ravaged by the hurricane.Some of the students describedwhat they saw as surreal, since inthe tourist districts, it was almost

The members would gut out theinteriors of flooded houses, donHAZMAT suits to de-mold thebuildings, tutor kids at a local el··

and survey thethe restoration of

freshman Marissa Cev-

"There wasn't a whole lot ofdowntime," recalled junior Jona­than Gardner, who spent his firstAlternative Spring Break inBiloxi. Everything was W(~l!-or·

ganized, students said, and therewas always something to do.

The group was generallyinto two teams that would carryout a variety of tasks in a day.

called "long-termers," who lefttheir homes or took time off fromcollege to spend months in theGulf region, helping to get peopleback on their feet.

Leaving at 4 in the morning onSunday, March 18th, the groupflew into New Orleans and thendrove down to the camp where

would spend the rest of the

From left to right, back row: Jason Juarez, Abdul Tariq,JonathauGardner, Asa Hopkins, Tim Barnes, David Romero, Sarah Stokes, JohnArteaga, Jon Winn, Peter Liu, Billy Zdon, Marissa Cevallos. Front row:Athena Castro, Felicia Katz, Franklin Jiron, Lena Nguyen

Here are some of the detailsof each and the eXlperiencessome students had:

"Wow, used to be a townhere," thought sophomore AbdulAhad as he looked over one of theworst-hit areas of hurricane Ka­trina. "There are these tracks ofland that are completely empty­you don't even realize that EastBiloxi was a heavily populatedregion."

Ahad was one of the studentleaders of the group that spent aweek among the devastation leftby the hurricane that struck inlate August last year. Sixteen inall with two Y staff members andone graduate student, the Caltechgroup met up at a volunteer centerat Pass Road in Biloxi, set up bythe Hands On USA organization.

The center is run by volunteers

Happy Spring Tenn!Respectfnlly Submitted,Vickie PonASCIT Secretary

- Chris W. will look into how the BoD canuse the ASCIT trailer in the Mods.7. Social Team Update

The Social Teanl is looking at loca­tions for ASCIT Formal, which is ahead ofschedule from last year.- The SExComm with all the Social Di­rectors from each House will start meetingvery soon.h- The Social Team website is being up­dated.8. Athletics Survey- The Athletics Survey Nathan and Toddtook is completed and there are no surpris­es with the results.- Todd will be meeting with Sharon to goover the survey results.9. ASCIT Staff Awards- Todd will put up a survey for nomina­tions for the ASCIT Staff Awards soon.10. Elections Bylaw Revisions

Todd will organize proposals and ameeting for Elections by-laws revisions.Others who are interested or have ideas orconcerns should talk to Todd immediately.II. FDAL Update- Sadly, the Movie Library computer isnowhere to be found. Instead, ASCIT willmost likely use the old BoC laptop once allthe files are backed up, which will be greatfor portability.- The BoD will decorate the ASCIT bul­letin board on the Olive Walk after the clubfunding meeting (about 2 pm, Sunday,April 9th).12. mCNews

By email correspondence, Craig in­fonned the BoD that, "Dr. Helena Ko­pecky from the Counseling Center isworking with the IHC to set up additionalpeer counseling training for UCCs andHealth Ads for all the Houses. The mcis also starting to work on preparations forPre-Frosh Weekend."

and it still seems that not everything is upto date and accurate.- The report showed a $25K surplus asexpected.- Clubs' third tenn dues were paid.3. Time Capsule- Pasadena Water and Power's Centen­nial is here, and because Caltech has beena customer the entire time, the companyasked President Baltimore ifCaltech wouldlike to include something in it. Baltimoreasked Margo Marshak to look into it, andMargo asked the IHC for help, and now theASCIT BoD is in charge.- Todd's idea: This past term's ACM 95final.- Todd, Vickie, and Nathan will work 011

what to put in by the upcoming deadline.4. Club Funding Meeting (April 9th,2006)- Vickie is organizing the club fundingmeeting, which the entire BoD needs tobe at.- The meeting will be on Sunday, April9th, from 10 am-2 pm. Lunch will be pro­vided for the BoD.5. Donut Webpage- Jed from the Donut Dev Team came totalk to us more about concerns regardinggranting Tech Editors and the Food Chairemail privileges. He said most complaintsabout too many ASCIT emails come fromgrad students, not undergrads.

A quick vote was taken to see whowould want to uphold the past vote to grantemail privileges to the Tech Editors and tothe Food Chair (the former without sur­vey privileges). The majority of the BoDagreed to uphold the past vote. More dis­cussion on this will occur next week.- There is a request to put PriceTrout ondonut, but this is just like the Bookmart al­ready in Donut. More discussion in thisnext week.6. DDR Machine- The DDR machine is in Housing. Toddand Chris W. will look into finding another,more accessible location for it.

Chris WatsonGuests: Vamsi Chavakula, Yan Zhang,Chris Klein; Marissa Cevallos, Leo Stein,Jed Yang, Gustavo OlmAbsent: Craig Montuori

I. Funding Requestsa. Quiz Bowl: Yan from the Quiz Bowlrequested $500 in funding for 5 team mem­bers to go to the NAQT Quiz Bowl Nation­als this year. A budget was presented,Vote: A vote was taken to grant Quiz Bowl$500 to fund their trip to Nationals. Voteapproved (7Y/ON/OA).b. Caltech Y: Vamsi from the Caltech Yrequested $500 in funding for Make a Dif­ference Day on April 1st, 2006. This is acampus-wide event with 300 participantswho engage in over 15 different communi­ty service projects. All participants receivea t-shirt, and there will be a BBQ dinner atthe end of the day.Vote: A vote was taken to grant theCaltech Y $500 from the allotted SpecialEvents fund in the ASCIT budget for Makea Difference Day on April Ist,2006. Voteapproved (7Y/ON/OA).c. Lloyd Interhouse: Marissa from Lloydrequested Interhouse funding for Lloyd'sInterhouse, which will be on April 8th,2006. The theme this year is VenetianCarnival.Vote: A vote was taken to grant Lloyd In­terhouse funding. Vote approved (7Y+IYby proxy= 8Y/ON/OA).d. KELROF: Gustavo aim, the KELROFdirector, requested $210 in funding for thisannual Caltech event. KELROF is a 24hour marathon with about 50 participantsand many spectators who all have a greattime. T-shirts are provided for participants,trainers are present, and non-Caltech mem­bers may participate fora small fee.Vote: A vote was taken to grant KELROF$210 for their 2006 marathon. Vote ap­proved (8Y/ON/OA).2. Treasurer's Report- Jon updated the BoD on our money. Hereceived the monthly report for February,

Present -Officers: Todd Gingrich, Jean Sun, VickiePon, Jonathan Senn, Csilla Felsen, ChrisGonzales, RJ Krom, Nathan Donnellan,

ASCIT BOD MINUTESFROM THE OLIVE WALKWednesday, March 29,2006

Upper Class Merit Awards arebased on outstanding scholasticachievement as demonstratedby exceptional academic perfor­mance, independent research, andextracurricular activities sincebeginning academic studies atCaltech. Last year, the Committeerecommended a total of 57 Up­per Class Merit Awards. Awardsranged from 3/4 tuition, to fulltuitlOn, room and board.

www.finaid.caltech.edu/Upper­ClassMeritAwardMarch2006.

BIOETHICS SYMPO-SIUM

On 13, 2006, the KeckGraduate Institute of Applied LifeSciences will be hosting a one day,bioethics symposiumregarding thefuture of drug regulation and theFDA. This event will be free andopen to the public. http://www.kgi.edulEvents/Bioethics.shtml

toed, hard-soled shoes to go.

card by

For the entire month of April,all members of the Caltech com­munity, students, fact­uIty, and staff, can board buses onany of the seven Pasadena ARTSroutes at no cost. Just board thebus, show your Caltech identifi­cation card, and enjoy the ride.

SOUTH HOUSE TOURSHousing does tours of the South

Hovses every Thursday at 3:00 forup to 10 people. You need closed-

SPEAKSThe Office of Campus Life is

sp4)m,orimg students to attend theSpeaker Series at

the Pasadena Civic Auditorium.Mikhail FormerPresident of the USSR and No-bel will beon 5, at

like to enter

5

the Francothe cannon was ob­

R"mirlO in 1972 fromin San

to revise

ofthat want to see

Henderson.someone was to call meand say 'We have your cannon,we know where it

, thenGive it back to Fle~ming,

resolve the issue.too much history on theCaltech and the cannon at

Anyone with information re­garding the whereabouts of theFleming Cannon or pertainingto the case are asked to pleasecontact Caltech Security at (626)395-4701.

to bon-ow DVDs for a one-timeinvestment of $1000.ASCIT and the GSC reached anagr'eeIueIlt and since then the li-

has been to both un-deJrgr;"ds and students.

weremade in the tomeet the needs at the time. In

the BoD tostudents a overhead

lost DVDs. In or­students with a

COllJ.vt:nil~nt way to returna lockbox was for 24-hour return.

The Movieclosed for the monthsdue to the renovations of theSouth Hovses. the re­turn of the Movie Library to theCoffee House soon is anticipated.

ysterystanding that the cannon is in atemporary position"

Before its theft, the cannonsat on the lawn of Steele Houseon Holliston Avenue, across thestreet from the Holliston park­ing structure and Security Office.Steele House was the cannon'stemporary home since its per­manent parking space in front ofFleming House is unavailable dueto the South Houses' renovation.

According to Henderson, inits previous position in front ofFleming House, the cannon wastypically locked to the ground.

Currently, however, everyone'sefforts are focused on simply

the cannon returned safely

till aAPRIL 3, 2006

installed on old BoCThe DVD library was set-up a

few years ago. Much effort andASCIT fnnds have into buy-ing new DVDs, stolenones and a better

dan.in good humorbecause it'sand

and theare

wClrk.mg on developing new meth­ods of communication to ,.,r._""·...t

a similar incident in the future."Ted Doyle and I talked about

better ways to secure the cannon,better ways of communication so[Security] know[s] if the cannonis being worked on-really open­ing lines of communication," saidHenderson. "We discussed waysto perhaps lock it down, under-

when wasfrom the Moore-Hufstedler Fundfor the one condition be-

that beopen to students as well.Severalconcerns about offer, claim­ing that over the years, severalundergrads have in effort intothe library and it is unfairfor graduate students to be able

"The reason I delayed [in filingthe report] is because I was hop­ing to hear that it was a prank [....]My filing of the police report nowrequires me to say, yes, we willprosecute. Now if it is a prank, Idon't want to throw some kid injail for that."

Fleming House is also takingthe matter seriously, particularlybecause the cannon is not RF­able (RF is a Caltech term for aprank) according the Inter HouseComJmittee's Resolution I, Sec­tion 6, which states:

"...Specifically exempted fromRFs are the Blacker dining halltapestry, the Fleming House Bell,the Fleming the wall-sized Fleming the

the RickettsHouse bnrkednllll,

NEWS

Cannons Location

$ 00 Fries, and DrinkEVERYDAY

for all Caltech students, staff, and facruty

theThe

of the eqlJlipUlent ne(;ess:arythereader, swipe card and themonitor. Unable to find the oldMovie Library computer, the re­quired software will probably be

Serve food $15 hour. Free Food, Free Shirt andFree Transportation.

Interested (registered Caltech students only) please con­tact Yvette Santana at (626) 395-2572 oryvette.santana@caltech.edu

The ASCIT DVD library willhave a new home in the Coffee­House sometime this term.

Fresh-

a and 21st.

Bur er Continental535 S. Lake Ave.

Pasadena(626) 792-6634

Alwa s 20% offfor all Caltech students staff. facru

The entire videolocated. The DVDs are physi,callywith Graham Yao­

who has been lll-icnarge offor

leave identiJfyirlgso that those prankt:d

may contact them if pf(}bl(~ms

arise. No notes were and asdays pass and still no one claimsresponsibility or contacts Caltech,Henderson is the mattermore seriously.

"I filed a police report early thismorning [Thursday, March 30th]for grand theft," said Henderson.

Continued from page 3

RESIGNSJapan's hopes for a true two

party political suffered asetback with resignation of

leaders of the Democraticof Japan due to a fake e-

scandal. leader SeijiMaehara and other top officialsliU:l-Jpt:U down in to limit

darna~:e to their party's cred­a member used a

e-mail in an attemptto d<:image the Liberal Demo­cratic which has dominated

for the past fiftyDemocratic Party of

had recently apologizedlawmaker Hisayasu Nagata

revealed an e-mail that suggestedlinks between the son of the rul­ing party secretary-general andan internet company under inves­tigation for doctoring earnings.

Although the party had madein 2003 and 2004 parlia­

mentary elections, it was crushedby the Liberal Democratic Party'scoalition. Japa11'S leading oppo­sition party blamed the scandalson inexperience, and intends tocontinue attempts to create a twoparty political system in Japan

Compiled from CNN and YahooNews.

would veto the bill currently inthe House.

treatedfound dead after the Janu­ary 7th abduction, and other vic­tims of kidnapping are still miss­ing. There are cun-ently threejournalists still being held in Iraq,as well as many others. Approxi­mately 35 people were kidnappedin the war tom nation on Mondayand Tuesday ohhis week, and ex­perts see no sign of a decrease inthe capture of foreigners for Iraqiinsurgent groups.

JOURNALIST JILLCARROLL RELEASEDFROM NEARLY THREEMONTHS CAPTIVITYBY INSURGENTS

Jill Carroll, a freelance journal­ist who had been writing aboutIraq for The Christian ScienceMonitor, was set free after beingheld for 83 days by the Brigadesof Vengeance, an Iraqi insurgentgroup. The reasons for her re­lease are unclear; Can-oIl herselfwas not told why she was set free,nor is there evidence that aransom was

The been dellla11dillgthe of all femaleers by the U.S., which released 5women earlier this week, aHholl1ghAmerican officialsthat these releases were already

and occun-ed for unre­reasons. A video of

insurgents andon an

we~bsite, may have beenpartially n~spl)nsible as wen.

e()'!Qtside World

lU'.iC.l'.Il.JI.t'It..Jl.iC.l ON OPPOSINGIMMIGRATION LE(jl~S­

LATION SPARKS PRO­TESTS

Latino youth in SouthernCalifornia have been protesting

legislation that wouldseek tighter border control, seen

many as an attack on theirThousands of students

skippt:d CLaS1,es. marched thr,ou~~h

and blocked roads inleg,ishltic,n cll1rn~nt]ly in Con-

BY: HAMILTONY FALK

CANADIAN, AMERI­CAN AND MEXICANLEADERS MEET ATSUMMIT IN CANCUN

Canadian Prime Minister Ste­phen Harper, American PresidentBush and Mexican President Vi­cente Fox all vowed to continueto increase cooperation on trade,health, security and other issuescommon to the North Americannations. There were some ten­sions between Bush andin response to U.S. legislation re­

pa~;SP()rts for travelers be­tween and andover the American taliff on Ca­nadian but on the wholethe two leaders ofrelations between the cOll1niries.

was elected two monthsand this is the first meetirlg

be·tw,~en Bush and the new Cana­dian leader.

LJ""IY!l" the issues between theMexico im-

illlJmi.!J;ral1lts toareas and offered

assistance in the naturalizationThe sumJmit made cleal'

North American relations arestrong, despite recent disagree­ments over the war in Iraq andother issues.

THE CALIFORNIA TECH

buildJing fencesthe Mexico b02Irde:r,

also cracks down onthem andpenalties for

who aide Supportersbill maintain that low costimJmigrant workers bringwages for American citizens. Inaddition, from this immigr21tio1nthe U.S. is draining other coun­tries of their young workers andtherefore danmging their alreadyweaker economies.

An opposing bill in the Sen­ate would create a guest workerprogram that would allow manycurrently illegal immigrants towork in the U.S. and would workto facilitate the path to citizenshipfor those who pay taxes, abide byAmerican laws and learn to speakEnglish. President Bush supportsthe bill in the Senate, although hehas refused to state whether he

bly so that the audience can sharethe experience of the block party,as well. I only wish 1 knew moreabout the acts that played; itmade me bad that 1 was sortof bored watching them perform.I recognized their names, andsome of their music, but it wasn'tenough to keep me fully enter­tained. I was still pretty stuck onthe idea that Chappelle wouldsuddenly scoot onstage and dosomething funny, but he only didit for a little bit, and it was onlymoderately 'haha'.

Probably the biggest highlightof the movie is at the end. It turnsout that Dave Chappelle is so fa­mous that he can pull together anall day block party, give ordinarypeople the chance to attend agood concert, and- most impres­sively- reunite the Fugees. (Ifyou don't already know, the Fu­gees were a hallmark hip hop/rapact that broke up in the 90s due toirreconcilable differences ... well,the only thing you really need toknow is that it's a big deal.bringing Sonny and Cher backtogether, or something.) It wasgreat to see them perform toget~­

er at the end, although from theIrrusty performance, it was fairlyobvious that the members had re­ally grown in different directionssince the split. Still, a miracle ofmusic history, thanks to DaveChappelle.

If you were thinking about go­ing to go see it, don't make thesame mistake I did in thinkingthat it was going to be a comedy.I would more highly recommendthe film to the music fans, as itgives the audience a very goodview of every act.

Next week: Hopefully, I canget a copy of Jenny Lewis and theWatson Twins' Rabbit Fur Coat,in time for the next issue.

Grade:B

eryday people that usually neverdid this sort of thing. It was avery nice and generous gesture,but hey, when you're rich you cando that sort of thing. At any rate,the film sort of is a cross betweena documentary and a 'home mov­ie,' which is at once entertainingand slow moving. Also, a goodportion of the screen time is dedi­cated to the performances, proba-

APRIL 3, 2006

BY:CINDYKO

In the relatively few years afterhis show's debut in 2003, DaveChappelle has gone from being anobody to a household name. Hisjokes range over all sorts of top­ics and he, like many good com­ics, is well knownfor being able tpush the limits 0

political correctnesand come away 0

everyone's gooside. On his showhis sketchesoften silly spoofthat involve exaggerated impersonations and funncostumes. In thcollege-age groupChappelle's sketches are the sourcof many oft-quotephrases; he imitatepeople, and peoplwant to imitate him.In a short time, hhas built an iconiidentity with thiaudience. Amonthe demographic 0

college kids, fehaven't seen hihilarious retellinof Charlie Murph-Eddie Murphy'lesser-known broth-er-and his COlllDJI­

catedwith cracked-outmusic legend, the late RickJames. This particular sketch isfairly well known, be­cause it features key phrases"Cocaine's a helluva drug," andanother one that I can't print be­cause my mother reads this news­paper. But it's funny, trust me.

Anyway, I got excited when Iheard about Dave Chappelle com­ing out with a film (woo!), direct­ed by Michel Gondry (woohoo!),the guy who directed Eternal Sun­shine of the Spotless Mind. It'slike double plus super awesometime. I guess I was expectingsomething like a really long, re­ally funny Dave Chappelle Showepisode, with Gondry's quirkyFrench touch. When I watched thetrailer, I learned that it's actuallyabout some secret block party thatChappelle threw in Brooklyn forthe neighborhood. (My sister saidshe had heard about it, but decid­ed not to go because it was rain­ing. Pooooo.) Anyway, althoughthe trailer indicated that it wasn'tgoing to be like a long ChappelleShow at all, I still hoped in vain.

Ehhh, it's not a bad movie,but I didn't enjoy it as much as Icould have for a few reasons. Onewas that I went into the movieexpecting something pretty spe­cific. I wanted Chappelle to makejokes until my gut exploded, butthrough the whole movie I thinkthe closest I got was like, three"huh hah"s. The film was mainlyabout how Chappelle wanted tothrow the "ultimate block party"that he always wanted to attend,and now that he was rich andfamous, he could do it. The firsthalf of the movie is about howthe concert was set up, and thesecond half is the concert itself.Chappelle invited some of his topfavorite big name rappers, likeMos Def and Kanye West, prob­ably because he was a big fan andwanted to meet them. Most peo­ple that attended found out aboutit by word of mouth, but a fewwere sent from Dayton, Ohio byway ofGolden Ticket. That is, notonly did Chappelle want to give

Em- the ultimate concert, he wanted togive it to the type of normal ev-

FEATURES

an A in physics to make themdeliriously happy. I am sure mycolleagues will find it easy to ar­range to make my promise intoreality-in the name of student fac­ulty relations, so this campus maynever fear the troubles that besetothers.

And to the men QfFleming, andtheir ladies, thank you. I had thetime of my life!

Ricardus Feynmanius,peror

these goggles, we neglect ourappearance and know to countthe days until tIie nearest vaca­tion.

So we become accustomedto having things close enough,such as this drink. To make it,squeeze one half ofa lemon intoa shaker filled with cracked ice.Muscles associated with thisbecome overdeveloped the lon­ger you have been here. Savea twist for your eyes to shieldyou from further horror. Pourthe rest of the ingredients andshake vigorously. Strain into ahigh glass. It will be foamy andchartreuse in color. Herbsaintadds a nice anise flavor alongthe bite of the lemon. Thiswould be a wonderful cocktailif it was not for one problem:it smells like shampoo. I haveno idea how this happened andwould be upset otherwise, but Ihave ceased caring. It is goodenough.

neutrons and electrons holdingone to another. The bug movesits legs by the control of a net­work of neurons learning andsynchronizing the motion. The

bug stands amidthe forces andstresses on its·oints. It survives

it can balance.But it did not

balance and theshit-eating pestlanded in mydrink. Despitethese observa-tions, I am not

amused. I now realize that beingat this maddening monastery ofmath, science and engineeringcauses me to notice details suchas these. Ironically, in the faceof this fact, I have gone blind af­ter three and two thirds years.

We call this blindness theCaltech goggles. These makemustaches disappear, shrinknumbers and increase letters.Watching the world through

been previously warned by a spyamong my coterie of handmaid­ens I found it easy to put downthe attempted revolution.

Finally it was decided (aftersome tests) that I need not drivemy own chariot home, and asober charioteer was found toescort me. Taking account oftheir inexperience in entertain­ing faculty (they were unable toproduce a kumquat on demand),I think this represents a sincere

Richard Feynman'sLetter to the FacultyIt is generally believed that the

Caltech student is unhappy, andthat all he needs is social recogni­tion by the faculty. For that rea­son, there have been many studiesand committees working on theproblem of student-faculty rela­tions. Up to now, we of the facul­ty have so often made every con­ceivable effort with no responseby the students at all. I wish toreport here, however, some glim­mering of a beginning of a smartstudent effort in that direction.An effort, which I believe shouldbe answered by the faculty.

Having been invited to PageHouse last Saturday evening, Iwas watching a moving picture,when I was captured by a num­ber of men and women in togasand wooden swords, and car­ried off to Fleming where I wasdressed (by lovely handmaidens)in a toga, given a crown and de­clared emperor (of what the morestraitlaced among you might calla Roman orgy). I was servedbreads with four kinds of cheesesand wines while watching gladia­tors battle for my amusement. An

Stu~ent~Faculty elati,9,t~~",attemptloimprove~hIS ,,:eek I m I?omg to. cheat oracle declared that the emperor relations. I have every reason to

a httl~ ':'Ith my art~cle. WIth the needed a consort, so four maIdens believe that this represents a newpenmsslon of ~Ichelle Feyn- were selected for. me to choose policy. I should suggest thereforeman, I'm borrowmg some ~o~ds from. After watchmg the~ dance that next time you are invited tofrom a man much more dlstm- for me, I found myself WIth my student houses, you accept forg~ished than myself. . In 1969, head ~n the lap of o~e of th~ most you will surely be treated betterRIChar? Feynman pnnted t~e beautIful and waclOus ladles of than I, as they gain experiencefonowI~g le~ter to the faculty m Claremont,. bemg fed grapes, of and develop competition amongthe CalIfornIa Tech. Clearl~ the course, whIle we watched a play. the houses. Incidentally, in theletter is a little dated and. hm~s (I had difficulty keeping track closeness of the relationship de-have changed, but there IS stIll of the play.) Whatever 1 wished the viasubstantial room for improving was granted-my back was rubbed the rum 1 outstudent-faculty relations. It is with special lotions for what their real dema~ds are; whattrue. that our profess~rs are n~w the occasion (by the Tokes will peace and happiness tobUSIer than ever keepmg up WI~ I understand); a pan of hot water campus while other colleges

proposals and bureauc~atIc was brought, my lady removed have chaos. It is not a demandpaperwork, but at a scho.ol WIth a my shoes an? socks and I soake~ for-more girls, or more student3: 1 s~udent to faculty raho I. seem u:y whIle a group of mUSI- say in administration or faculty~o thmk w~ can do a better Job of Clans on recorders an~ drums decisions, or any of those com­mcorporatmg som~ more profes- played for me. A. dancmg Bac- plex psychological things. Thesesors mto stud~nt hfe. ThIS chal- c~us proffered wme ~~d more are just covers for their true un­lenge rests mamly on the stude~ts wme; and a most delICIOUS hot derlying uncertainty. They askedand the houses, both ~f. ,:,h~ch buttered rum was prepared (more only one thing and, under the cir­could benefit greatly by mitIatmg than once) for the emperor. As cumstances that I found myselfa little more contact with the fac- in all such situations, jealousies in it seemed very easy to grant.ulty. ASCIT offers funding from arose, and there was an attempt I ~eeded only to announce thatthe MOSH to take a professor to depose the emperor, buthaving. teedto lunch with a group of friends.Funding requests can easily bemade at any of the WednesdayBoD meetings at noon on theOlive Walk. Additionally theMOSH also provides funding toinvite professors to house dinners.If anyone has questions or ideasabout promoting student-facultyrelations, feel free to contact meat gingrich@caltech.edu.

Being at Tech so long, Iwonder if this experiencecauses us to notice smallthings about the world aroundus. It makes me wonder if ourknowledge of science sheds lighton every slight detail of reality. Abug is no longer a six legged pest,but a collection of cells protectedby a chitin exoskeleton. Each cellcarries out its function by a com­plicated logic of proteins dancingaround a strand of DNA. DNAconsists of molecules which relyon varying numbers of protons,

Juice of a half lemonSplash of Herbsaint3 part rye whiskey1 part egg white1 dash of Angostura bit

ters

6 THE CALIFORNIA TECH

BY: JOHN MCNAMARA

Drink o'l ek

7

ers and thus increase the cost of theinsurance premium for those who re­main on the Caltech health plan.

Second, many students were con­cerned that direct billing to parents un­der the strict waiver plan would resultin parents receiving information onservices, such as birth control, mentalhealthcare, or other medications (suchas anti-depressants). This could po­tentially be the case for students underthe age of 18 or for students who areable to opt-out of the Caltech healthinsurance plan. Fortunately, this is nota problem under the mandatory healthplan.

Another issue involves the qualityof health care. Currently, the CaltechHealth and Counseling Center helpsstudents with outside referrals (e.g. X­rays, lab work and access to special­ists) and can follow-up with a studentand the outside provider to ensure thatthe student is receiving care. For stu­dents who waive out of the Caltechplan, outside health care could bedelayed and fragmented, becausethe search for a specialist or serviceswould largely depend on the studentand the Caltech Health Center wouldnot be in communication with the out­side providers.

Of particular concern was the ac­cessibility to mental health care. Ac­cording to Dr. Kevin Directorof the Health and Couns:elillgabout 20% of undergnlduate studentsuse the center. Of that

about 27% 5.4% ofthe totalare refelTed for outside treatment

the Center isable to refer students to psychiatristsand other mental health providerswho have treated Caltech students inthe past and are familiar with the en­vironment and stressors on campus.Students who waive out of the Caltechplan and then need outside psychiatrichelp may not pursue further treatment,because it is inconvenient for them tofind a specialist covered by their spe­cific health plan or because they do notwant to pay for the high out-of-pocketexpenses of mental health care. Also,they might receive more stigmatizingdiagnoses so that they can continuetreatment under their health plans.The CUlTent rate of suicides in the pastfour academic years among under­graduates is zero; some say that thismay be proof of how well our mentalhealth coverage works.

The faculty health committee metlast term and recommended the man­datory plan to administrators, becausethe CUlTent mandatory plan workswell and ensures that all students havedependable access to services. Thecommittee is chaired by Prof. PhilipHoffman and includes undergraduatestudent representatives Angela Chang,Csilla Felsen, Meng-meng Fu, andDorota Korta. However, the commit­tee also recognized that the mandatorypolicy would impose significant coststo students, parents, and financial aid.Provost Paul Jennings notes that thestudent insurance policy is more com­prehensive and more expensive thanthe plan for Caltech faculty and staff(including those at JPL). The facultyand staff health insurance programsare evaluated annually and like otherinstitutions, Caltech has had to shifta larger fraction of escalating healthcare costs to the employee. Thus, theHealth Committee is currently chargedwith redesigning the student health in­surance plan for the 2007-2008 schoolyear to decrease the cost to studentsand the Institute. Student input willbe vital in this process to ensure thatimportant coverage is not lost.

APRIL 3, 2006

Care

Over spring break, senior administra­tors, led by Dr. David Baltimore, decidedto continue mandatory student health in­surance for all incoming students. Thecost of health insurance will appear un­der student fees (this year's premiumwas $1,668 per student) and thus will becovered by financial aid. This decisionreversed the plan outlined during town­hall meeting (http://www.studaff.caltech.edu/townhall.htm): "the cost of health in­surance will no longer be included in fi­nancial aid calculations for new students

BY: MENG-MENG FU

Under consideration were two op­tions: require all freshmen to purchasethe Caltech health insurance plan or al­low freshmen with alternative healthinsurance plans that satisfy a number ofstringent requirements to waive out of theCaltech insurance plan. The strict waiverwould obviously benefit those studentswho can optcout of the plan, because theywould not have to pay for the additionalCaltech health plan. The subsequent de­crease in total cost of attendance for stu­dents who could waive out would alsopotentially make Caltech more attractiveto prospective students. Most colleges10 allow students to waive out of thelealth insurance plans; for example, 90%)f Harvey Mudd students opt-out of the;choot's health insurance.

the health insurance manda­ory has three primary benefits: the pre­nium would not increase sig;nificantly,:orlfielentialit\' of will be main­

and health care will not becomedisjointed. having the strict waiverwould decrease the number of subscrib-

,..FEATURES

riage debate. Planned social eventsinclude a movie/spa night and an out­ing to see the new movie"Adam andSteve."

It doesn't matter if you are gay, bi,trans, straight, questioning, or other­wiseanyone is invited to learn moreabout the LGBTQ community. Allare truly welcome and encouragedto come to these events. You don'thave to be gay to watch a movie withus or to come to a free lunch! Manyheterosexual members of the Caltechcommunity consider themselves tobe allies of the LGBTQ populationand will be attending these events.Even if you aren't an ally, you mightcome to find out more about LGBTQissues or to hear an opposing view­point. We will particularly be invit­ing all to get involved with the Na­tional Day of Silence on April 26thwhen Caltech will join other collegesand high schools nationwide in thisdemonstration. Stay tuned to hearmore about this opportunity.

Check out PRISM's website athttp://rainbow.caltech.edu for moredetails.

THE CALIFORNIA TECH

BY: PRISM OFFICERS

Looking around, it's sometimes diffi­cult to see that Caltech is a community ofpeople with a diversity of backgrounds.You can count the number of minOlitystudents on a few hands. The dearth offemale students is more of a harsh realitythan just a cruel joke of the AdmissionsOffice. For a population that finds it diffi­cult to escape from labs, classrooms, andHouses, cine could actually experiencefour or more years at Caltech without evertruly getting to know a minority student.To miss out on the chance to experiencediversity is truly a shame. And yet thereis another population of students, faculty,and staff that actually infiltrates everycommunity within Caltech. A couplehundred email addresses are subscribedto the anonymous listserv. They live inyour Houses. They work in your labs.Some are too afraid to publicly admit thatthey are part of this community. Othersare not quite comfortable identifying aspart of this community. Some might notrealize they are a part of it. Still othersmight not be interested in accentuatingthat part of their life from day to day.For whatever reason, the diversity of thiscommunity goes unnoticed.

In an attempt to reach out to these peo­ple and to educate the rest of Caltech ofsome of their concernsand in the vein ofmonths that celebrate diversity such asBlack Month and Women's His­tory MonthPRISM is excited to declare

to be That's right. Putyour scoffs aside. and w()rkingamong you is a substantial communityof who are lesbian, gay, bisexllal,or Others definethemselves as a mix of these. Others findthemselves questioning how definetheir (That's where the "Q"comes in.) They carry with them a uniqueset of experiences. And so GAYpril pro­vides an opportunity for allstraight, LG­BTQ, or any combination thereofto findout more about what it means to be LG­BTQ.

This article is the first in a series of fourdevoted to showcasing the LGBTQ com­munity during this month of GAYpril.Here we aim to introduce you to GAYpriland tell you a bit about what you can ex­pect to see in the coming month. Whilethe LGBTQ community at Caltech doesnot have a specific department devoted toissues pertaining to this minority group,many student groups and allying officeswill be hosting programs. PRISMthe clubopen to all members of the Caltech com­munityis the main sponsor of this monthof events that will celebrate the diversity,the trials and tribulations, and the fabu­lousness of the queer community. We arefortunate to have co-sponsors and pri­mary sponsors of many events. This pastweekend, the Caltech Y's "Make A Dif­ference Day" included a service projectorganized and participated in by PRISMmembers serving the Pasadena AIDSCenter. The Graduate Student Council'sUnder-represented Students Committeeis presenting "Licensed to Kill," a filmdocumentary about the Nazi executionof homosexuals during World War II aspart of its monthly LGBT film series.The Women's Center is helping organizea barbecue for female members of theLBTQ community. Through its HealthyRelationship Series, it will also present"Out and About," a workshop on gay andlesbian romantic relationships. Through­out the year, the Counseling Center hostsa bimonthly discussion group at whichwe discuss movies, politics, personalmatters, and anything else that peoplewant to talk aboutin a safe environmentthat really encourages diversity. One ofthe two meetings this month will be de­voted to transgender issues, following alunch with a speaker who will talk aboutwhat it means to be transgender. Anotherspeaker tentatively arranged to come toCaltech will speak on the same-sex mar-.

Fr,lm,islGl DammeierCaltech '07, Ricketts

orelgnersAPRIL 3,2006

the Jvnall1d!,·Pos~:en.a newspaper.

the line with their abouta newspaper article that waslished in one small newspaper inone small country.

of the item. But the way areacts to offenses is the

that matters, and in myion many Muslims went way over

difference between self-imposedcensure in Europe and forced cen­sure for fear of offending Mus­lims (and of becoming the targetof bomb threats). During the car­toon controversy it seemed thata lot of Muslims want the entireworld to conform to their moralstandards, and that they are readyto enforce this sentiment throughwhatever means possible.

Furthermore I don't believethere exists perfect freedom ofspeech in America either. I havenever read nor heard anythingeven close to anti-semitism here,and there are a lot of dark spotsin America's history about whichnobody seems to talk, yet I haveheard a lot about in (themassacres of native Americans

Freedom UL"P'O""\.·U

is never and each {'onnt,.."

has its own limits of discussionthat seem to outsiders.

would like to addM1Jsliims have every to

be offended the cartoons. Butcountless arecountless newspaiper

items (myself includled)is no way out of that. Evenif we aU items to statementsof facts there are probably

who offended becausethat statements of fact

don't do credit to the emotional

uropeans Censor 0 Themselves,Dear Editors,

I feel Noah Rahman missed thepoint in his commentary on thecartoon controversy. He wrotethat Europeans censor all mate­rial about Nazis or the Holocaust,and that for this reason they haveno right to condemn the reactionof the Muslim world to the car­toons.

In Germany there is indeedcensorship regarding Nazis andthe Holocaust. It is limited topositive statements about the Na­zis or denying that the holocausthas happened, or that only a fewthousand people died instead ofmillions.

We certainly don't have free­dom of speech in that respect, butit is done with the best of inten­tions, as we don't want historyto itself this isan is a dif-ferent issue). Germansare not local ne'ws!)ap,ersin other countries to see

write that goesour cenSOL"Mein was num-

ber two in listlast Yes, it forbidden tosell book in. Germany, but wedo not complain alone utterbomb threats) if other countriesfeel they have to express their ad­miration for Nazis. That is the big

8 THE CALIFORNIA TECH LETTERS TO THE EDITORS

$15

Caltech 40-58. Pasadena, CA 91125advertising desk: (626) 395-6154

editorial e-mail: tech@caltech.edu

VOLUME eVIl, NUMBER 21David Chen Chris Yu

Jonathan Malmaud Business ManagerJonathan Senn Robert Morell

Co-Editors CirculationGary Libman

Advisor

The Tech is published weekly except duringvacation and examination periods by the As­sociated Students of the California Instituteof Technology, Inc. The opinions expressedherein are strictly those of the authors andadvertisers.Letters and submissions are welcome; e-mail

submissions to tech@caltech.edu as plain-textattachments, including the author's name,by Friday of the week before publication.The Tech does accept anonymous contribn­tions. The editors reserve the right to edit andabridge all submissions for any reason. Allwritten work remains property of its author.The advertising deadline is five p.m. Friday;

all advertising should be submitted electroni­cally or as camera-ready art, but The Tech canalso do simple typesetting and arrangement.All advertising inquiries should be directedto the business manager at business@caltech.edu. For subscription infonnation, please sendmail to "Subscriptions."

Good ,-,"'U'.l.JI..l.JI.'"".:J

Comics $7Photos $5

Ifyou are interested in workingfor The Tech, feel free to attendour weekly on r IIUd ''',

from noon to at theCafe

If wewill

icans hold a bias against peoplefrom the Middle East, but at leastthe American culture frowns onthis, while terrorist are willing tokill Americans simply based onthe country they live and work in,with absolutely no considerationof the they kill as indi­viduals. It is foolish to aW~mlDt

to justify acts of terrorAmericans pfl~judiced.

most tileof the statement Mr.

Millmeq.;;e that Osama bin Ladenis "the most brilliant and char-

leader on the face of the" Even if this statement is

technically true it may be,altlhOllgh it seems unlikely), Hitlerwas also an and popu­lar man, but it is rare that thoseterms are used alone to describehim.

Regardless of the reasons Osa­ma has for attacking the US., themurder of thousands of innocentpeople to make a political state­ment is wrong, and anyone whowould bring about such an attackis morally twisted. The very ef­ficiency that Mukherjee praisesterrorism for comes from the factthat they strike civilian targets,while the US., despite occasionalmistakes, makes every attempt toattack only soldiers. I most cer­tainly do not support the War onTerrorism, and I would prefer thatit receive no more funding, butonce the political decision hasbeen made, maintaining moralstandards instead of killing inno­cents as terrorists do is the mostjustifiable inefficiency I can imag­ine. While I agree that the UnitedStates should not be engaging in a"war on terror," especially in theway it is, and that mistreatmentof ethnic groups based on theactions of a few terrible peopleis unfortunate, Mukherjee couldhave presented these issues in afar less offensive way.

Sincerely,Hamilton Falk

His assertion that the UnitedStates boycotted every nationthat didn't assist in the "War onTerror" is just plain false, and theexample given Mukherjee ofKashmir as a situation in whichthe US. did not a foreignnation refers to a sticky politicalsituation between two nations theUnited States would like to re­main friendly with.

In addition, he compares thenumber of deaths in other na­tions with 9/11 and because thereis less news coverage of foreigndisasters labels America as aprejudiced nation that considersother ethic groups to be "2%" of ahuman, never considering the fac­tors involved. 9111 occurred onAmerica soil, kiUed Americansand was targeted at the UnitedStates government and its citi­zenry. It is logical that the targetsof an attack would want to knowabout it, while events on the otherside of the world are less wellcovered. Does Mukherjee thinkthat Katrina was as large a storyin Pakistan as the earthquakesthere? All people are biased to­wards local events; this does notmake them racists.

On the issue of wrongful treat­ment of minorities in airports, Icondemn anyone' who suggeststhat it is legitimate to violate civilrights for any reason, even duringwar. That being said, some Amer-

Dear Editors,I was deeply offended (as I as­

sume many people were) by yourarticle "Infidels is Bitches" in theMarch 13th issue of the Tech. I'dlike to make it clear that I am noconservative, I do not consider

a support of Bush and Icould be convinced thatCanada and Australia are far bet-ter andcollective than theUnited States at this This

many of the attacksMIJkJlerjee were and

ofyou who arerunners, as a

reference I wouldcanprob-

ably beat timewhile hopping on oneleg for the last mile."

Mark looks fast. as first at Caltech. However, IHis angular face is chiseled as if went to college in a laid back,to pass a wind-tunnel test, and he sunny town were "sacrifice" is alooks out of place sitting still in a word with negative connotations.chair next to me in class. I look It to rain that day, andathletic and fast but I am not. athletes and I ran theI am slow, and are the nat- race. All but one me.ural environment in which I am of I had amost comfortable. women's track and

Mark and jesting with her,his cOlnrrLitt\~d to to run a 5k inof runners. He eJf:~:!lliL.!l~U1l£...~L!im!:~!£tL!!:~ she wouldloves and cher- beat me, sheish last would not

me. I trained alittle bit overthenothing closeto serious, justa few spuriousjogging forayshere and there.During SpringBreak I gave atry at a timed5k. I tied mypersonal bestof 22'48". Forthose of youwho are notrunners, as a

reference I would say that Markcan probably beat that time whilehopping on one leg for the lastmile. After doing the numbers, myfemale friend would have beatenme by about 650m, or more than1 ~ laps. So, failure for me.

I suppose I could have gonefaster, after all, I wasn't over­whelmingly exhausted when Ifinished. But it was painful to run,and running faster would be evenmore painful. GmrycomesMthpain; let committed athletes en­joy both. I speak on behalf of therank and file ofcommon folk whomerely want to stay healthy: wejog slowly, and we get our exer­cise as painlessly as possible. Andif an athlete like Mark has enoughtime to download and listen to thewhole track of "Chariots of Fire"in between his arrival at the fin­ish line and mine, well, what's thehurry? I'll get there too, eventu­ally.

Sincerely,Jon X Eguia

that comes withph~{sical effort.

myinstinct forself-preserva­tion is strongerthan Mark's,but an irresist­ible inner driveguides me tothe avoidanceof pain. I havenever felt "anascent powerin my legs,"rather, when Irun, my legs complain, until mylungs take notice and join in achoral protest. Then, attentive tothe demands of my body, I slowdown my pace and continue at agentler trot. This explains why Inever leap ahead of the other run­ners, but rather trail far behind thepack.

Mind you, I am not a couch po­tato. I used to play soccer, I ex­ercise every once in a while... Igo far, but slowly. I finished theLA Marathon once. A fellow gradand beautiful blonde seemed im­pressed as I bragged about it, andthen she praised my patience: shewas impressed that I could takeseven hours to reach the end lineand not be driven to run faster bythe anxiety of finishing quicker.Unbeknown to me she had runthe LA Marathon too, but in halfmy time.

Back in college I once came11th in the annual cross-countryrace. Out of a student body over30000, 11th is relatively as good

9

not for all mankind.) Tim Tirrell::.il and Stuart Ward the "art" in~ "quarter" as took first andg fomth that returned~ to the track to "ace" ina. "race" as she fifth in the sim-~ but slower version; of that event for women. Tenciag: Lee put the "petite" in "competit­~ eion" as she won her heat of the§. 200m. Seth Hendrickson ran well

in the 100m, but didn't seem toput and cute words or phrases init, as far as I could tell.

Our throw squads put the "evil"in "javelin" by not even showingup. Great job guys. I hate you.Jordan Carlson finally decidedto stop pretending to be good atbasketball and return to his truehome, a small dank cage in thebasement. Oops, I mean, returnto the track. Carlson put the "ripIe jump" (French for "do well inthe jump") in "triple jump" as hewon that event. He also won thehigh jump and was fifth in thelong jump (in which he put the"urn", seeming slightly awkward,though obviously successful, inhis new event). Eva Murdockcertainly did not put the "eva" in"pole vault". In fact I don't eventhink she showed up. I just want­ed to use her name because it's in"pole vault". Natalie Szweda onthe other hand was present, andwon the event, soundly defeat­ing all zero of her competitors.Her height of 2.90 meters wasrespectable, but I would have pre­ferred her to jump 3.14 meters,so I could advertise how she putthe "pi" in "pole vault pit". I'mjust about out of wit for the week,so I'll quickly mention that themen's 4x400m relay team endedthe meet with a win, putting the"end" in "this article".

APRIL 3, 2006

" pponents assume tremen ous stature. ny runner ears IS aliar." - legend Gordon Pirie, on what it's like to race against Kevin Dick

routine activity of putting the dents and alums, parading around day came as Jeremy Leibs puts the"cat" in "the microwave". in ridiculous attire and declaring "hurt" in "hurtles" (he also put the

On Friday, six Techers put the themselves a form of citrussy "spelling error" in there for good"era" in "distance race" at the running cult called "The Juice" measure). Running the hurdles forOxy Distance carnival. David were also present but shall not be the first time this year, Leibs, true"Cupcake" Rosen and Gina Gage discussed further. to his characteristic form, realizedput the "eep" in "steeplechase" as On Saturday, the entire team, he had no time to jump over thethey cruised through the 3000m minus about half its members, set hurdles and merely smashed themevent in third and fourth places. out for Whittier College to put out of his way instead. Helen TaiKatherine Breeden put the "bella" the "ow" in "Lower Quad meet". took second in the shorter andin "bell lap" as she set a new per- The men set the tone for the day generally sissier version of thesonal best in the 5000. Ever seek- by putting the "lay" in "4xlOOm event for women. Kevin Dick puting his inner peace, Bud Coulson relay", as they were all laying the "dred" in "fifteen hundred" asput the "om" in "five kilometers" down in the bleachers as the race he broke the 5:00 barrier in theas he ran the event for the first was run. The women took second event for the first time. (That istime. Several Caltech grad stu- in that event. The highlight of the the first time for him personally,

THE CALIFORNIA TECH

Sometimes a ruuner will slipinto a state psychologistscall "the flow. when the trans-

wall that separates mindbody in daily life vanishes.

The athlete moves in perfecUy­coordinated going

and longerthan ever before. the Caltechathletes on the Friday the 17thand Saturday the 18th, the stateof flow is almost precisely whatdidn't happen. Instead, both teamssat around complaining about theweather and making sophomoric,scatological jokes while gettingfourth place in the SCIAC "Bot­tom Four" meets, which I preferto call the "lower quad" meetsbecause it sounds mildly less de­grading. On the plus side, we didbeat a few teams, as the honorof running with the Beavers wasso great as to attract some non­SCIAC schools to the meet. Themen soundly defeated a bunch(a.k.a. smattering, throng, posse,or clique) of Poets; the women aflock of Sagehens.

The action began Thursdaywith the Northridge Multi-Eventmeet. Nothing of interest hap­pened there, except possibly thatHelen Tai held a school record forapproximately 8 seconds. As shefinished the 800m, the final eventof the heptathlon, Tai broke theschool record in the event. Eightseconds later, Rene Davis crossedthe line with an even higher pointtotal, setting the standard to some­thing marginally higher. I don'tknow just what that standard isthough. I mean, I can't do all theleg work for you. Zach Higbeealso competed, putting the "cat"in "decathlon." If you're not surewhat that means, simply considerit an improvement of his more

THE CALIFORNIA TECH

ntmday.

Though Snatch players filled up on ba­gels and bananas before their first matchon Sunday, they decided they were stillhungry and ate UC-Chico for breakfast inan impressive 10-3 game. Though Snatchplayed a strong offense, their solid defenseis what kept the Chicas far from the endzone. Because it was relatively non-windy,Chica tried for an upfield huck severaltimes, each time neglecting that Snatch's6' I" team captain Sarah could outjump anyof their offense: she intercepted four deepthrows, effectively cutting off Chica's bestchance of scoring. First year Ultimate play­ers had a chance to shine during the Chicagame. Amy McMahon, who joined Snatchat the beginning of second term, playedamazingly well for having only learnedto throw a frisbee a few months ago, in­cluding making several key passes. Ma­rissa Cevallos had an intercept where shegot to the disc before the offense did, buther offender's elbow got to her diaphragmat about the same time- Marissa pantedon the sidelines for a point before comingback in.

Snatch next played Berkeley, well awarethat winning the game meant going to thefinals. Caltech took the first two pointswith catches by Tai and Minh, with con­sistently great throws from Laura through­out the play. Mary Dunlop had a fabulousblock toward the end of the game, effort­lessly jumping and stretching out her longarms to catch a high throw, much to thesideline's delight. Though Snatch was up acomfortable 7-3 at halftime, Berkeley kepton forcing Caltech to play hard for a finalscore of 10-5.

Caltech's winning strength-their spiritand good attitude-was especially criti­cal in the final game against Arizona. Itwas an extremely tight and hard-foughtgame, reflected in the occasional pause forrule-clarification during the first half. Thematch was only barely to Caltech's advan­tage at the 7-6 halftime, but great plays anda heroic zone defense from an extremelytired team shut out Arizona for a 13-6 win.Katherine had a great lay-out defense that"even got a cheer from the opposition,"according to Carolyn. Perhaps the mostcinematic play of the match was a longhuck from Suz to Minh: the two exchangedglances, and at Suz's nod, Minh sprinted tothe end zone to receive not only the disc,but the cheers of the sideline. As a happyending to an extremely well-fought game,Arizona invited Snatch to a "slack-jaweddance-off," in which two players from eachteam dance with each other without laugh­ing. Tai became the undefeated champion,with some genius moves that are probablybest left to the imagination.

APRIL 3, 2006

urns~

Fishman, Suz and Minh, Berkeley scored 4in a row to take the game during hard cap.Final score was 9-7 to Berkeley.

Third game was against Chica, with highwinds and some extremely tired legs onboth sides. The game started off well forCaltech as Snatch went up 2 points earlyon, with two great passes to Katherinein the end zone. Chica pulled the scoreback to level with a couple of well-foughtpoints, and were narrowly prevented fromtaking the lead by two incredible Ds in theend zone by Tai Carvalho and Katherine.Caltech then took the first half by storm,with some stunning defense from Minh,who somehow seemed to be everywhereon the field at the same time and Sarahwho got a series of great blocks to preven~Chica from making crucial dump passes.Some inspired offensive play gave Snatcha half-time score of 7-2 to Caltech. Chicastarted the second half with a quick score,but soft cap was called only a few minuteslater and two more points from Caltech fin­ished off the game at 9-3.

The first day finished with Caltech seed­ed 4th, ready for the bracket play on Sun-

1Headline!

e a omen s timate rIS ee team, na c .Bac~ row: Clai.re Farnsworth, Carolyn Brinkworth, Harmony Gates, Laura

Fishman, Mary Dunlop, Katherine PoulinMiddle row: Amy McMahon, Michelle Farkas, Tai Carvalho, Minh Huynh Marissa

Cevallos 'Front: Sarah Payne, Suzanne Golisz.

wind. It was an effective strategy, sup­ported by some fantastic interceptionsfrom both Katherine Poulin and Suz, anda genius moment from Harmony in thecup to grab her first Callaghan. The finalscore was 13-2.

Snatch next played a well-matchedgame against Berkeley, with the leadswitching back and forth between thetwo teams. The game started offbadly forCaltech, with Berkeley scoring 2 quickpoints in succession. However, Caltechrallied and the game took off with a per­fect zone playas Caltech stayed calmand collected for a textbook pass fromMinh to Harmony in the end zone. Thenext point was even better, with an ab­solutely stunning huck from Suz, chaseddown with an amazing one-handed catchby Katherine. A few unbelievably longand hard-fought points followed, butCaltech kept it together, and by half timeSnatch was leading 7-5, with a sidelinefull of people from other teams,watchingthe game. The second half was equallywell-fought, but despite some greatpoints and fantastic handling from Laura

risbeools'Daotan

.J ....ltechBY: MARISSA CEVALLOS

10

The Caltech Women's Ultimate Fris­bee team, Snatch, won the UC-IrvineInvitational on March 25th, showingmassive schools like UC-Berkeley andUniversity of Arizona that bigger isn'talways better.

"I think I'm still in shock a little bitbut of course, it feels great to win," saidteam captain Sarah Payne.

The Irvine Invitational is geared to­ward beginner teams and B teams fromlarge schools. Snatch is in its first yearof competing in tournaments, and wasjoined by teams from UC-Irvine, LongBeach, UC-Berkeley, UC-Chico, andUniversity of Arizona.

Though Snatch's tight zone defenseand impressive man offense schooledthe rest of the California teams, Snatchplayers consider their biggest strengthsomething less tangible: their spirit.

"We are really spirited and that is im­pOltant. It's great that we can play hardand intense, but still with a lot of spirit,"said Minh Huynh, a Caltech post-docand one of Snatch's MVPs.

Carolyn Brinkworth, the Snatch playerwho broke her collarbone in the UCLAtournament, added that an advantage tostanding on the sidelines is "you get tohear what everyone else says about yourteam."

"In our case it was a series of reallyproud moments because every singleone of the comments I heard was posi­tive," said Carolyn.

Claire Farnsworth, who'd suffered anankle injury while warming up beforeone of the games on Saturday, joinedCarolyn on the sidelines to cheer onSnatch.

"Carolyn and Claire, although injuredand unable to play, kept the sideline talk­ing and aided us to victory with theirobservations on the sidelines," said Har­mony Gates, Snatch player. "They hadcontinuous encouragement and advice."

Snatch first played Longvine, an amal­gamation of Irvine and Long Beach. Fora team that hadn't played together before,they put up a great fight; however, by halftime, the score was 7-1 to Caltech. SarahPayne and Suzanne Golisz put up consis­tently great pulls, which forced Longvineto spend most of the game in their ownhalf. Unfortunately, a totally fearless bidfor the disk from both sides in the firsthalf led to a nasty collision, with one ofthe Longvine players heading off to thehospital with a broken ankle. After half­time Snatch switched to a zone defenseforcing Longvine to throw high in th~

3/19: Colorado College (Horne): L, 1-63/21: Middlebury College (VT) (@CMS): L, 1-63/22: Salisbury Univ. (Horne): L, 2-53/27: Lewis and Clark (OR) (Horne): W, 7-03/31: Pomona-Pitzer (Conference Match) (Away):L,I-64/1: Univ. of LaVerne (Conference Match) (Away):W,6-1

Women's Water Polo:3/11: Macalaster (MN) (Horne): W,7-43/18-19: Claremont Tournament:vs.CSU San Bernadino: L, 1-13vs. CSU Bakersfield: L, 3-21vs. CSU Macalaster: L, 3-(twenty-something)vs. Siena College: L, 4-143/21: Univ. of Maryland (Horne): L, 1-153/21: Washington & Jefferson (PA): L, 2-154/1: Univ. of Redlands (Conference Match) (Horne)

6-14

Recent Results

Upcoming Events.

Baseball:3/25: Simpson (CA) (Away) Doubleheader: can­celled due to weather3/28: Pomona-Pitzer (Conference Match) (Horne):postponed due to weather

Women's Tennis:3/12: Skidmore College (NY) (Horne): L, 1-83/13: Wesleyan Univ. (CT) (Horne): L, 0-93/18: Univ. of Rochester (NY) (Horne): L, 3-63/20: Mills College (CA) (Horne): W,7-23/22: Salisbury Univ. (MD) (Horne): L, 3-63/27: MIT (MA) (Horne): L, 3-63/31: Pomona-Pitzer (Conference Match) (Horne):L,0-94/1: Cal Lutheran (Conference Match) (Horne): L,1-5

Men's Tennis:3/13: Wesleyan Univ. (CT) (Horne): L, 0-73/18: Univ. of Wisconsin Oshkosh (fIome): W, 4-3

Tuesday, April 4th2:30PM - Baseball vs. La Sierra

Friday, April 7th2:00PM - Men's Tennis vs. Concordia (CA)4:00PM - Women's Tennis vs. Univ. of LaVerne(Rescheduled)

Saturday, April 8th9:30AM - Women's Tennis @ Occidental

ourt

l1:00AM - Women's Water Polo vs. Pomona-Pitzer2:00PM - Men's Tennis vs. Occidental

Sunday, April 9thW:30AM - Women's Water Polo vs. Chapman12:30AM - Women's Water Polo <Chapman vs. CalMaritime>1:00PM - Baseball @ Redlands3:00PM - Women's Water Polo vs Cal Maritime

,",nunTu'u"", •• ·"vwuunuuW'*'CW.'MW', ", UU''''''''.',.'','',''D.UUWW'w,,, $m .. ""'~'MW'''''''',J''·'vu u u·u...}'"',."" ..,.,,., , .", V",0"""~"U

uel on theBY: CHANDRA BARNETT

Institutes

Monday evening, Caltech's women'stennis squad faced our rivals from ThatOther Institute once again. It had beentwo long years since their last encounterin which MIT shut down Caltech 9-0:But time has tempered our tennis team.In spite of rainy weather and the absenceof some key players - in particular, 3rd­ranked Kristen Ward - the women put ina strong showing, with this year's matchfavouring MIT only 6-3.

The match started off with a coup forCaltech, as senior Jenny Hsiao (7-6) andfreshman Chen-Yee "Princess" Liaw (9­1) defeated MIT 8-4 in #1 doubles. "Wehave really good communication", saidJenny of her partner, and she and Chen­Yee employed both their experience indoubles play and their strong individualskill sets to maintain control throughoutthe set. Caltech's #2 doubles, freshmansquad. members Anna "Spanky" Hisz­panski and Ellen Hsu, also put in an ex­cellent performance. Anna's aggressive,

accurate volleys and great supportingplay from Ellen brought the set to an 8-8tie, but MIT dominated in the tiebreakwith the Caltech pair finishing 3-7. Ju~nior Diana Lin and sophomore SarahWadsworth rounded out the doublesplay, losing to MIT 1-8.

In singles play, the women's squadalso started strong. Playing in heavyrain, #1 singles Chen-Yee won her sets6-1 and 6-0, and Jenny went 6-1 and 6­1 to take #2 singles. However, freshmanOlga Mandelshtam, playing #3 singles,fe~l victim to the bad weather. Battlingslick courts and difficult visibility, shelost in two sets, 2-6 and 1-6. #4, #5 and#6 singles (Diana Lin, Ellen, and Anna)also failed to secure victories. In the end,both the weather and the missing play­ers held Caltech back from winning whatseemed to be a promising match. "Wecould have easily won against MIT if wehad one more competitive player," HeadCoach Mandy Gamble lamented. "Wecame so close to doing something re­ally special for Caltech and our women'sprograms."

t"'u •. u,,,.uu,,,..·.<.P."'U'UBU"'·'U,"."'.n''''u''',u,,.,,,,"~h'

THE CALIFORNIATECH APRIL 3, 2006 11

but you only had to listen for ananosecond to know what wasgoing on. But, here you are atCaltech and you're finding it tobe a uniquely different experi­ence. For the first time in yourlife you are pressed to go to lec­ture, do the reading, and actuallyPAY ATTENTION. You may benoticing that your mind wondersoff task causing you to read andreread the same material multipletimes. Maybe you're strugglingwith organization, time manage­ment, and self-discipline. Thoseproblem sets just don't seem to getin on time. If you, or anyone youknow has difficulties in these ar­eas, you may want to come to findout more about Attention DeficitHyperactivity Disorder \.rtJunuJ.

On Monday, April from 12-1,Dr. Ken Herman, from Herman& Associates will be presentinga talk helping you to identify anddeal with ADHD. He will dis­cuss the importance of maintain­ing physiological homeostasis atCaltech (yes, sleep/food/exerciseregulation), medication manage­ment, behavioral interventionsto help maintain attention, tech­niques to aid memory, strategiesto overcome procrastination, andgeneral tips for mood manage­ment.

Finding Love in a World ofWork - Presented by JacquelineMiles, Ph.D.

Friday, April 28 th, 12:00 - 1:00,

Winnett LoungeAchievement always comes at

a cost, but does it have to comeat the cost of love? This talk willsuggest how busy, pressured peo­ple can overcome their fears andanxieties and learn valuable skillsto help them build enjoyableand satisfying relationships. DrMiles's presentation will addressthe elements involved in buildinga good relationship:

Improving communicationskills

Learning to express anger ap­propriately

Increasing positive communi­cation and caring behaviors

Outwitting "the relationshipsaboteur"

Identifying major relationshipstressors and learning to copewith them

Soothing your partner: Simpletechniques for relationship repair

APRIL 3, 2006

Understanding AttentionDeficit Disorder - Presented byKen Herman, Ph.D.

Monday, April 24th, 12:00- 1:00, Winnett Lounge

Elementary, Middle, andSchool were a breeze.may have spaced out regularlyand found ways to entertainyourself during a boring class,

Growth Through Hardship?- Presented by Robert Ritchie,M.A.

Thursday, April 13th, 12:00-1:00, Winnett Lounge

What is the value of facingpersonal or collective hard­ship? Can we learn from it?How can we, and indeed, dowe grow from it? What are thelimits? When is denial an ally,or is it ever? Should we climbthe mountain simply because itis there? There are obviouslymore questions than answers butlet's take a look.

The Caltech Counseling Cen­ter is pleased to announce thismonth's speakers in the Work,Sleep, Play: Finding Balancelecture series.

All workshops are FREE andopen to all grads and under­grads. Each will be held fromnoon to 1:00 in Winnett Lounge,and you're welcome to bring alunch if you like.

What Yom Professors WantYou to Know, But May NotHave Told Yon: a Workshopfor Gradnate Women - pre­sented by Jan Aura, Ph.D.,former human relations advisorat Caltech

Friday, April 7th, 12:00 - 1:00,Winnett Lounge

Speaking with numerousCaltech professors who werefrustrated with their interactionswith grad students has helpedme when offering counseling tograduate women. Many thingscan interfere with the communi­cation between you and your ad­visor, and you may be missingsome valuable information andmentoring opportunities. Thisworkshop is about some of thethings your professors and advi­sors would like you to know tohelp you both get the most outof your working relationship.

that perpetuate their fear or avoid­ance. While fearful predictionsand interpretations are at timesaccurate, they are more often ex­aggerated or inaccurate (e.g. "Iam going to say something reallystupid and make a complete foolof myself at the party.") Try toreframe or think more logicallyabout the situation (e.g. "Feelingnervous doesn't mean that I willmake a fool of myself. I may feeluncomfortable but others noteven notice.") Break theof making negative assumptionsand ask yourself if there are otherways of looking at the situation.

The point is to be able to thinkmore realistically, rather thansimply thinking positively. In

general, peo­ple tend toseek out andpay attentionto informa-tion that con­firms theirbeliefs. And

those who are socially anxiousoften pay more attention and givemore weight to evidence that theyare being negatively judged thanto evidence that contradict theiranxious beliefs and thoughts.You want to consider all the evi­dence and other possibilities be­fore making any assumptions.

These are just few examplesof kinds of things you can do toimprove your social confidenceand skills. It's important thatyou combine both skills build­ing and exposure to maximizeyour growth and learning. Keepin mind that the more you prac­tice, the more natural it's goingto feel. Be proactive and lookfor opportunities to enhance yourskills! If you want hands on ex­perience learning and pratcticingthese skills in a safe support...ive environment, come join oursocial confidence group atCounseling Center! We will beteaching various social techniquesand encouraging participants tohave positive social encountersthrough gradual and supportiveexposures. The group will beginon Monday, April 3 from 4p.m.­5:15pm and meet for 8 sessions.If you are interested please callX8331 to set up a time to speakwith one of the group leaders tobe sure this group will meet yourneeds.

fortable, and it's perfectly ok tofocus intermittently in areas nearthe eyes (e.g. forehead, nose ormouth). These non-verbal skillscommunicate that you are listen­ing and interested in others andwhat is being said.

.. Active listening: Don't shoul­der all the responsibility of carry­ing the conversation! The otherperson is also responsible forkeeping the conversation going.Don't be so concerned about whatto say next that you forget to payattention to what others are say­ing. Generally, people are drawnto those who pay attention andtake interest in them. Ask ques­tions about their interests, theirhobbies, what they enjoy doing,any significant events in theirlives. Remember to smile andnod and make interjections (e.g."really?" "uh-huh" "wow!" "howinteresting!") to help keep theconversation going. Also, try toremember something interestingthat was said to initiate a conver­sation the next time you see them(e.g. "You mentioned you werejoining the fencing team, how isit going?")

.. Reframe your thinking:Changing negative patterns ofthinking can be very helpful inbuilding your interpersonal con­fidence. People who are sociallyanxious tend to have constantstream of negative inner self-talk

social cues and signals. Try mak­ing an effort being around morepeople, pay close attention to so­cial interactions and see what youcan learn from them.

"Body Language: One ofthe most important social skillscomes not from what we say butfrom our non-verbal gestures.Our body language tends to havea significant impact on people'sperceptions of us, even beforewe speak! Adopt an inviting andopen body language by smilingmore often, leaning towards theperson, nodding to show yourinterest and maintaining comfort­able eye contact. And rememberthat you don't have to look direct­ly in their eyes if you feel uncom-

Social

to to morerealistically, rather than simply thinkingpositively. "

THE CALIFORNIA TECH

BY: Maria Oh, Ph.D.

12

Do you oftenfeel uncomfortableor awkward in social situations?Do you feel nervous starting aconversation or approachingpeople you don't know? Per­haps you're afraid that you mightsay the wrong things, run out ofthings to say, or have nothing tosay at all! Maybe you fear thatothers can see how nervous anduncomfortable you are and formnegative judgments about you.In fact, you may have struggledin social situations all your lifeand developed high anxiety aboutyour ability to interact and relateto people. And while you maynever transform intoa social butterfly, youcan certainly improveyour communicationand social skills andraise the probabilityof developing stron-ger friendships andhaving a more fulfilling sociallife.

So what do I need to do to im­prove my social skills? How doI manage my fears and anxiety?Exposure, Exposure, Exposure!The more you expose yourselfto what you fear, the lower youranxiety will be. By taking man­ageable risks and exposing your­self to social situations, you willgradually increase your comfortlevel and ability to tolerate theanxiety that comes with it. Whatelse can I do to reduce my fearand anxiety? Practice, Practice,Practice! As the saying goes,practice really does make perfect.And while perfection is not ourgoal, gaining greater social com­petence and confidence throughexposure and practice is. Hereare some examples of how youcan improve your skills and raiseyour confidence:

" Observe: Perhaps you knowsomeone who has great conver­sational skills, someone whoseems to relate to others with easeand confidence. Pay attention totheir body language, how theytalk, their facial expressions, theway they communicate and con­nect with others. What are someverbal and nonverbal skills theyengage in that seem to attractothers? who are sociallyanxious to hyper focus onthemselves and miss important

Grumble...homework set.•.

Zhlyun Guan

IThe California TechCaltech 40-58

Pasadena, CA 91125