Philip G. Monroe, PsyDBiblical Seminary

Philip G. Monroe, PsyDBiblical Seminarypmonroe@biblical.edu

Degrees:•MA in Counseling•MDiv (2)•Urban MDiv•DMinCertificates:•Biblical Counseling•Advanced Professional CounselingOn-line StudiesCoaching/Consultations

To consider practical methods to help those struggling with addiction grow in insight and find the “way of escape” (1 Cor. 10:13)

To better tailor our methods to the needs and character of those we help

Addiction is a body, spirit, and will problem

Sin is both chosen and irresistible We are made to desire God and creation.

But since sin enters the world, We long for things that are out of reach These unfulfilled longings are painful We often turn good desires into demands We desire too little rather than too much We often want behavior management rather

than transformation

Bondage

Sin

Tragedy

Foolishness

Friendship

Infatuation

Betrayal

Worship

Adapted from Addictions: A banquet in the grave (E. Welch)

Engage in the battle against distorted affections

Doing violence against addictions: A response to God’s grace

Surround yourselves with wise counselors

Delight in the fear of the Lord

Engage the battle at the level of imagination

Speak honestly, uncover subtle lies

Remember God’s commitment to you

Adapted from Addictions: A banquet in the grave (E. Welch)

The pathways to bondage (and breaking free)

BONDABONDAGEGE!

We live in a fallen world with fallen communities and fallen bodies. We are deceived and deceiving. In the midst of trouble, we reveal what is in our hearts by our response to that trouble.

Self-deception is the root of all other sins. It is THE gateway sin. It is the lies we tell ourselves that make other sins palatable. If we were to see ourselves as we really are, we could not “ingest” nor accept things that are evil. These things often come in the form of “needs” or “normal” desires, reactions, etc.

False Worship: Done daily, hourly, by the second in the most subtle ways. You can find it in the “innocent” second look, the momentary daydream, the place you go in your mind when you have nowhere you have to be. Any one of these may not be false worship, but a quick review of common patterns will probably identify your tempting “must haves” of life.

Habits are not merely acts of the will that can be turned off or on. They begin to take on a life of their own at the cellular, neuronal, environmental, etc. level. Your body may crave food, drugs, pornography, etc. Even after years of saying no, you may still struggle with them.

BONDABONDAGEGE!

Fight for truth! (Self-deception is the gateway sin)

Challenge! Having thoughts of self other than we want to have

Identity as lost sheep

Recognition of vulnerability to “finding” ourselves

BONDABONDAGEGE

Practicing proper meditations

Meditating on 1 thing

Looking beyond self to God/other

Example: What do you think about when you wake up in the night?

BONDABONDAGEGE

Protecting good habits; building new

Doing violence to bad habits

Using all the means of grace/mercy (spiritual, biological, communal, economical, etc.)

BONDABONDAGEGE

Knowing the end point on a map is important but we should not neglect the starting point for the person in front of us nor the process of getting to that end point, or…

Sometimes biblical counselors know the problem and the solution but have spent less time focusing on good interpersonal processes needed to walk with the other.

Insight: The Cycle of AddictionProcess: Readiness for Change

Assessment

Most individuals have a common, vicious cycle of abstinence to addiction

Most individuals do not adequately see the subtle details of their cycle

Learning the cycle of addiction may help the person be more alert to temptations, vulnerabilities, lies, as well as the “ways of escape” available

You are helping them wake up from a coma!

Adapted from Patrick Carnes

Engage in the battle against distorted affections

Doing violence against addictions: A response to God’s grace

Surround yourselves with wise counselors

Delight in the fear of the Lord

Engage the battle at the level of imagination

Speak honestly, uncover subtle lies

Remember God’s commitment to you

Adapted from Addictions: A banquet in the grave (E. Welch)

Address impact of shame Practice hope and worship in brokenness

and despair Explore roots, shoots, fruits of addiction

(cycle)▪ Denial, self-deception, impulsivity, complacency?▪ Self-talk?

Validate desires and seek to deal with them in godly manner

Offer accountability and practical ideas Point out victory!

Not every addicted person wants change Some want change but are afraid All of us are fickle in that we want change

sometimes and refuse it other times There is a common pattern of change

motivation J. Prochaska:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transtheoretical_Model A wise counselor continually assesses the

person’s openness to change and tailors their counsel to that place: We meet people where they are at—not where we wish they were!

Precontemplation (Not Ready) Not Thinking

 Contemplation (Ambivalence/Unsure)  Thinking

Determination (Ready) Planning

Action (Trying) Change

Maintenance/Relapse/Recycling (Holding)  

What You’re Dealing With Reluctance Rebellion Resignation Rationalization

Goal: Move them to thinking

The ApproachSensitive feedback: primary emotionProvide choices Instill hope/explore the barriersempathy and reflectionRaise doubtAvoid ALL arguments/don’t label

What You’re Dealing WithAmbivalence not commitmentWill it really be better?Can things really be different?What’s the cost to change?

The Approach Information, incentivesEmphasize the positivesGive reasons for changeStay 0pen, listen, affirmRisk/rewards

What You’re Dealing WithPreparationActing on some strength and

some truth “I’ll do it on Monday”

The ApproachStrategize the best way for them to

make changesEnthusiasm does not make up for

ineptnessRemove barriers and support

success, focus on details

What You’re Dealing WithDoing something publicMaking changes3 – 6 months typicallyObservable actions

The ApproachHelp take steps, support success Don’t get in the wayEmpathy, empathy, empathyTalk detailsReflect: “What’s it been like…”

What You’re Dealing WithThe unexpected costsLapsesRelapses

The ApproachExpect some lapses, be realisticHelp them recycleHelp with strategies to prevent

relapse

Precontemplation None or observational only

 Contemplation Pros/Cons, Costs/Benefits, light reading, “one little

change” Determination

Cheerleading work, building supports, journaling for details

Action Keeping track of successes/concerns, increased biblical

study Maintenance/Relapse/Recycling

Things to help them grow in wisdom for the long haul

Joining (Attending/Listening) Perceiving/Assessing (Listening) Responding and Empathy (Listening) Probing (Listening) Summarizing and Focusing (Listening) Challenging (Listening) Goal Setting (Listening) Action (Listening)

Set the stage for work together Validation, exploration, trust, safety

Balance teaching, exploration, and honest responses

Uncover denial/deception and recognition of divided loyalties (in love)

Offer accountabilityFocus on commitment strategies

Don’t forget that God is doing a work in you while you work with another Your frustration should tell you

something… What am I learning about my own

denial, complacency, etc? What do I do with life in a broken world?