plan and by john mccain personal excellence enough to be left alone. i’ve made plenty of mistakes...

INSIDEMICHAELANGIERMillion-Dollar Ideas .......................12RICHARD LEIDERLeaders as Elders ............................13KATHRYN AND DANNION BRINKLEYBe the Change .................................14ERNEST D. CHUSoul Currency ................................14ANDY CINDRICHDiscipline of Winning ....................15BARACK OBAMAReclaim the Dream .........................16JAMIE WOOLF Bring Home the Gold ........................16

A Life Well-LivedI t ’ s a l i f e o f m o r a l l e a d e r s h i p .

Pers

onal

Exce

llenc

eby John McCain

SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO, IN THE LAST DAYS OFthe Soviet empire, a young Czech student

stood before a million of his countrymen,while 200,000 Soviet troops still occupied hiscountry, and, trembling with emotion, read amanifesto that declared a new day for thecaptive peoples of Eastern Europe. He beganwith borrowed words: “We hold these truthsto be self-evident: that all men are createdequal and endowed by their Creator with cer-tain unalienable rights, thatamong these are life, libertyand the pursuit of happiness.”

For all the problems thatafflict humanity, for all themistakes America has madeand all the imperfections wemust confess, I can’t imagineanother nation’s history willever so profoundly affect theprogress of the human race.

Theodore Roosevelt, one ofmy political heroes, celebratedthe strenuous life—his defini-tion of our pioneer ethos, the virtues thatinspired our self-confidence, that bound us bysacred duty to suffer hardship and risk dan-ger to protect our values and impart them tohumanity. “We cannot sit huddled within ourborders,” he warned, “and avow ourselvesmerely an assemblage of well-to-do hucksterswho care nothing for what happens beyond.”

He exalted the morals and political valuesof a nation where the people are sovereign,recognizing not only the inherent justice ofself-determination, that freedom empoweredindividuals to choose their own destiny, butthat it empowers us to choose a common des-tiny. And for Roosevelt that common destinysurpassed material gain and self-interest. Our

MARSHALL GOLDSMITHAchieve Your Goals ..........................3JIM ROHNWork Smarter ...................................4LAURA LOPEZAre You a Hollow Tree?....................4BOB DAVIESDo You Procrastinate? .....................5BARRY EISENHave-to vs. Get-to ..............................6GREGG THOMPSONAccountability ..................................6ARIANE DE BONVOISINBe Good at Change ...........................7

KAREN SHERMANMake the Choice................................8CAROL RINGGain Life Balance..............................8CAROLE CARSONWeapon of Mass Reduction..............9DAVE DURANDSelf-Discipline.....................................10VIDULA BAL, MICHAEL CAMPBELLAND SHARON MCDOWELL-LARSENGood vs. Bad Stress ........................10INGUNN AURSNESWrite Your Own Paycheck .............11ANDY ANDREWSGet Ahead in Life............................12

freedom and industry must aspire to morethan acquisition and luxury. We must live outthe true meaning of freedom, and “accept thatwe have duties to others and duties to our-selves; and we can shirk neither.”

Some critics saw in Roosevelt’s patriotismonly flag-waving chauvinism. They did not seethe universal ideals that formed his creed.

In August 1914, Irishman Ernest Shackletondecided to attempt the first crossing of the

Antarctic on foot. He placed anad in a London newspaper:Men wanted for hazardous jour-ney. Small wages, bitter cold,long months of complete dark-ness, safe return doubtful, honorand recognition in case ofsuccess. Twenty-eight menanswered the ad and began a22-month trial of deprivationand grim endurance. Thesemen spent four monthsmarooned on a desolate ice-covered island before being

rescued by Shackleton himself. They enduredthree months of polar darkness, and wereforced to shoot their sled dogs for food. Theirmission failed, but they recorded an epic ofcourage and honor. When they returned toEngland, most of them enlisted in World War I.

Years later, Shackleton looked back on thecharacter of his shipmates. He had witnessed athousand acts of unselfish courage and under-stood the greater glory that they had achieved.“In memories we were rich,” he wrote. “Wehad pierced the veneer of outside things.”

In that memorable phrase was the Rooseveltcode—to pierce the veneer of outside things, tostrive for something more ennobling than theluxuries that privilege and wealth place within

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S E R V I C E • HONOR

Volume 14 Issue 1

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easy reach. The memories of such are fleet-ing, attributable as they often are to fortu-nate circumstances and reflect little crediton our character.

We are not a perfect country. Prosperityand power might delude us into thinkingwe have achieved distinction, but inequitiesand challenges command every citizen’sconcern and labor. What we have achievedis proof that a nation conceived in libertywill prove stronger and more enduring thanany nation ordered to exalt the few at theexpense of the many or made from a com-mon race or culture or to preserve traditionsthat have no greater attribute than longevity.

As blessed as we are, no nation compla-cent in its greatness can long sustain it. Wemust take our place in the enterprise ofrenewal, giving our time, counsel, labor andpassion to the enduring task of making ournation and this world a better place. Wemust prove again, as those who camebefore us proved, that a people free to act intheir own interests will perceivetheir interests in an enlightenedway, will live as one nation, in akinship of ideals, and make of ourpower and wealth a civilizationfor the ages, a civilization in whichall people share in the promiseand responsibilities of freedom.

Even in perilous times, whenwe confront enemies who sharenone of our values, who scorn the rights tolife, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, wemust always show that those values are dear-er to us than life itself. We must not sacrificeour values in the war against terrorism. Wecannot win the war if we do, and we willlose our political soul. Although captured alQaeda members would never protect ourrights—they despise all human rights—wemust adhere in our treatment of them to thestandards of our values, not theirs. Because,the way we treat them is not about them. Itis about us. That is why a young Czech stu-dent used the majestic prose of ourDeclaration of Independence to claim his ownrights from a brutal dictatorship. No othercountry can claim such moral leadership.And we must never, never sacrifice it.

All lives are a struggle against selfish-ness. If my life had shared no common pur-pose, it wouldn’t have amounted to much.There is no honor or happiness in just beingstrong enough to be left alone.

I’ve made plenty of mistakes and havemany regrets. But those regrets last onlywhen I separate my interests from my coun-try’s. That is the honor and privilege of pub-lic service in a nation that isn’t just land andethnicity, but an idea and a cause. Any bene-fit that ever accrued to me on occasions inmy public life when I perceived my self-interest as unrelated to the nation I servedand unresponsive to the demands of my

2 w w w . L e a d e r E x c e l . c o m P e r s o n a l E x c e l l e n c e

conscience have been as fleeting as pleasureand as meaningless as an empty gesture.

In America, our rights come before ourduties. We are a free people, and among ourfreedoms is the liberty to not sacrifice for ourbirthright. Yet those who claim their liberty,but not their duty to the civilization that en-sures it, live a half-life, having indulged theirself-interest at the cost of their self-respect. Therichest man or woman, the most successfuland celebrated Americans, possess nothing ofimportance if their lives have no greater objectthan themselves. They may be masters of theirown fate, but what a poor destiny it is thatclaims no higher cause than wealth or fame.

Should you claim your rights and leave toothers the duty to the nation that protectsthem, whatever you gain for yourself will beof little lasting value. It will build no monu-ments to virtue, claim no honored place inthe memory of posterity, offer no worthysummons to other nations. Success, wealth,or celebrity gained and kept for private

interest is a small thing. It makesyou comfortable, eases the materialhardships your children will bear,purchases a fleeting regard foryour life, yet not the self-respectthat matters most. But sacrifice fora cause greater than your self-interest, and you invest your lifewith the eminence of that cause,your self-respect assured.

When I was a young man, I thought glory(self-glory) was the highest ambition. I didn’tunderstand the lesson until later in life, when Iconfronted challenges I never expected to face.

In that confrontation, I discovered that Iwas dependent on others to a great extent,but that neither they nor the cause weserved made any claims on my identity. Onthe contrary, they gave me a larger sense ofmyself—and I am a better man for it.Nothing is more liberating in life than tofight for a cause that encompasses you, butis not defined by your existence alone.

Far from here and long ago, I served withmen of extraordinary character—better menthan I, in many ways. They were often treatedcruelly. Their captors would try to persuadethem to make a statement by promising thatno one would hear what they said or knowthat they had sacrificed their convictions.“Just say it, and we’ll spare you more pain,”they promised, and no one will know. But these men always responded: I will know.

This is your moment to pierce the veneer ofoutside things. I wish that you always hear thevoice in your heart when you face hard deci-sions, to hear it say to you, again and again: Iwill know. I will know. I will know. PE

John McCain is a U.S. Senator (R-AZ) andwas the R-nominee for president. This articleis adapted from his speech to the convocationceremony of Boston College.

ACTION: Face tough decisions with integrity.

P e r s o n a l E x c e l l e n c e w w w . L e a d e r E x c e l . c o m 3

you face a short-term crisis—or a “oncein a lifetime” short-term opportunity. Inplanning, assume that distractions andcompeting goals will occur. Expect theunexpected, and build in time to dealwith it. You’ll be less likely to give upwhen problems or opportunities appear.

5. Rewards: Why am I working sohard at change when, after all my effort,I’m not making any more money! Youtend to be disappointed when achievingone goal doesn’t immediately translateinto achieving other goals. For example,dieters who lose weight may give up onweight loss when prospective datesdon’t soon become more attracted tothem. You need to buy in to the value ofa long-term investment in your devel-opment. If you mistakenly believe thatimproving your skills will quickly leadto short-term profits, promotions, orrecognition, you may become disap-pointed and give up when these bene-fits don’t immediately occur. If you seepersonal change as a long-term invest-ment in development—one that willhelp you become more effective overtime—you’ll pay the short-term price.

6. Maintenance: I improved when Iwas being coached, but I have let it slidesince then. I can’t work on this stuff forthe rest of my life! Once you achieve agoal, the work required to maintainchanged behavior can be tough to face.For example, upon reaching yourweight reduction goal, you might think,“This is great! Now I can eat again!” Ofcourse, this mind-set leads to weightgain and the yo-yo effect. Change is aprocess: you never get there—you arealways getting there. The only way exer-cise helps you stay in shape is whenyou face reality: “I have to work on thisfor the rest of my life!” Your develop-ment is an ongoing process, includingyour relationships. When you change,your relationships change. Maintainingpositive relationships or results requiresongoing effort. There is no easy answer.Real change requires real effort. Thequick fix is seldom the meaningful fix.

I encourage you to get a good coachto ensure that behavioral change be-comes a reality and that your goals aremet. Set challenging goals—just under-stand the commitment required to reachthem. Clear and specific goals that pro-duce a lot of challenge—when coupledwith an assessment of roadblocks—pro-duce strong long-term results. Coachingcan make a big difference in your life. PE

Marshall Goldsmith is a leadership coach who helpssuccessful people achieve positive, lasting change andthe author of What Got You Here Won’t Get You There.Visit www.MarshallGoldsmithLibrary.com.

ACTION: Don’t give upon your goals this year.

P R O F E S S I O N A L • G O A L S

evident when you are trying to changewhile others seem to ignore your newbehavior. You tend to be seen in a man-ner consistent with previous stereo-types—people look for behaviors thatprove their stereotype is correct. In set-ting goals, you need to be realistic aboutthe time required to produce a positive,long-term change in behavior. Knowthat others’ perceptions may seem unfairand that—as you change your behav-ior—others may not recognize thechange for months. If you set realisticexpectations, you won’t feel that some-thing is wrong with you when you facea time challenge. Ultimately, changedbehavior will lead to changed percep-tions and more effective relationships.

3. Difficulty: This is harder than Ithought it would be. Most achievementtakes longer and requires more work!Don’t confuse simple with easy. You wantto believe that once you set a simple goal,it will be easy to get results. If this weretrue, all people who know that they

should eat a healthy dietand exercise regularlywould be in shape. Thechallenge is in the doing!

Long-term change re-quires real effort. It can bechallenging for you to lis-ten patiently while otherssay things you do notwant to hear. While youmay see the need tochange—and desire tochange—it is still hard to

have the discipline to change. Realchange requires real work. Buying intostatements like “this will be easy foryou” makes you feel good in the shortterm, but backfires in the long term—when you realize that change is not soeasy and begin to face trade-offs andchallenges. Knowing the price for suc-cess at the start prevents demoraliza-tion that occurs when challenges arise.

4. Distractions: I’d like to worktoward my goal, but I’m facing a uniquechallenge right now. Perhaps I shouldstop and pursue this goal later! Goal-setters tend to underestimate the dis-tractions and competing goals thatappear. Be assured: some distraction orcrisis will emerge! It may come from aproblem or opportunity. It’s hard tofocus on long-term development when

by Marshall Goldsmith

AKEY TO DEVELOPING YOUR-self is setting—and ach-

ieving—meaningful goals forpersonal change. Often, however, youdon’t set goals in a way that ensures thefollow-through needed to turn greatplans into successful outcomes.

What is required to produce posi-tive, long-term change in behavior?Why do you often set great goals, yetlose the motivation to achieve them?How can you stick with the plan andultimately reach your desired targets?

Whether you set a behavioral goal,such as becoming a better listener, orhealth goal, such as losing weight, youface challenges in changing behavior.

Why do goal-setters give up so soon?Why don’t most New Year’s resolutionslast through January? What goes wrong?

Six ExplanationsSix reasons explain why people give

up on goals. Understandingthese roadblocks can helpyou achieve your objectives.

1. Ownership: I wasn’tsure this would work in thefirst place. I tried it, and itdidn’t do much good. Thiswas a waste of time. Onecommon mistake is startinga program that promises,“This will make you bet-ter.” The problem is thatthe emphasis is on this andnot on you. Ultimately, only you canmake you better. Successful people havea high need for self-determination. Themore you commit to behavioral changebecause you believe in the process, themore likely the process is to work. Themore you feel that the change isimposed on you—or that you are justtrying it out—the less likely the processis to work. You need to ensure that thechange objectives come from inside—and are not externally imposed with nointernal commitment. You are ultimatelyresponsible for your own behavior.

2. Time: I had no idea this processwould take so long. I’m not sure it isworth it. When you underestimate thetime needed to reach your goal, you aretempted to give up on the goal. Theoptimism about time to meet goals is

Achieve Your GoalsSet them right, and you won’t give up.

time in major activities, pursuing thehighest-leverage opportunity.Concentration takes discipline. It takesdiscipline to demand privacy, to notreact to minor activities that demandattention. If you have a long list ofthings to get done, do the toughest onewhile your concentration is at its peak.

Don’t let worry distract you. Stayfocused on changing what you canchange. Enterprise is always better thanease. Every time you choose to do lessthan you possibly can, you limit yourpossibilities and stifle your potential.

Imagine what you could accomplishif you never quit and always did all thatyou could do! PE

Jim Rohn is a popular motivational speaker and busi-ness coach. Visit www.jimrohn.com.

ACTION: Practice these three disciplines.

by Jim Rohn

ONE GREAT SATISFACTION OFlife is doing the best you

can with what you have. Do-ing anything less erodes confidence. Weare creatures of enterprise. Life says tous, “Here are the raw materials, yourcreativity, and 24 hours to use it. Whatsplendid things can you produce?”

Enterprising people are disciplinedand dedicated enough to seize opportu-nities—regardless of the situation orstruggles. They always manage to suc-ceed, regardless of the obstacles. They’realways on the go, developing a plan,following a plan, reworking the planuntil it fits. They’re resourceful, neverletting anything get in the way. Theydon’t understand the word no when itapplies to their visions of the future.And, when faced with problems, theysay, “Let’s figure out a way to make itwork,” instead of, “It won’t work.”They see the future in the present. Theyfind a way to take advantage of situa-tions, not be burdened by them. Andthey aren’t lazy. They don’t wait foropportunities to come to them; they goafter them.

Enterprising means finding a way tokeep working toward your ambition.

Work SmarterSuccessful people may work harder

and longer, but they almost alwayswork smarter. Try practicing three sim-ple disciplines daily:

1. Run the day, or it will run you.Some people are masters of their time;others are servants. Enterprising peoplebecome masters of their time. To masteryour time, you need clear, written goalsfor each day. Create each day’s list thenight before. Prioritize your goals forthe day and review them. Ask yourself:Is this a major activity or a minor activity?You’ll stop spending major time onminor things. If you are not careful,you’ll spend more time “on the way to”than “in the presence of” your goals.Before you answer an email, ask your-self, is this a major activity or a minoractivity? Before you make a phone call,ask yourself, is this a major phone callor a minor phone call? Don’t let theminor activities distract you from themajor activities—the ones that hold thekeys to your success.

by Laura Lopez

MY FAMILY AND BUSINESSare based in Houston.

When Hurricane Ike camethrough, it rattled our city and lives. Itwill be hard to forget the devastation.

When we awoke Saturday morning,we found our home intact, but severaltrees had fallen. We were fortunate.

As the rain subsided, we venturedoutside to see if others werein need around us and tosurvey the damage. Manytrees were down, and somehad destroyed homes.

As the days passed, Inoticed more trees down.And many of them were hol-low and had shallow roots.

Days earlier, I would nothave suspected that these seeminglystrong trees were hollow on the inside.

Mother Nature understands theneed for pruning to promote growth.She has a way of weeding out thedebris that can be stifling and imped-ing growth. What can Hurricane Iketeach us about getting stuck in a job rut?

Are You a Hollow Tree?Like seemingly strong, functioning

trees, many people get by when rev-enue is high, but when it falls, thesepeople fall. Why? They are hollow—there is nothing inside holding it intactto the earth. They were just taking upspace in the Corporate Jungle.

You see, like Mother Nature, theCorporate Jungle understands thatpruning can promote growth. I am nottrying to sound callous, but if you area Hollow Tree in the Corporate Jungle,it might just be time to re-root yourselfsomewhere else, or Corporate MotherNature will do it for you.

Re-rooting yourself requires findingyour passion again. Hollow Trees arejust “hanging out” because the sun-shine and water is good where theyare, because they feel safe, but theyaren’t producing fruit, flowers, or seeds.

If your life blood isn’t pumping andyour roots are growing shallow, you’velost the passion for where and what

you are doing. Do yourselfand others a favor and re-root yourself, or others willdo it for you!

I was re-rooted, initiallyunwillingly, by others. I wasstarting to become a HollowTree. When my job scopebegan to change and mycompany wanted me to pur-

sue other opportunities in Atlanta,what do you think? It was time to go.

Hollow Trees in nature don’t hangon to deadness; no, they just fall whenMother Nature pushes them. Well,people like you and I, we love to holdon to deadness—holding on to stuffthat isn’t working for us any longer inour lives. That could be a relationship,a job, a habit. We get stuck in a rut.

Don’t be a Hollow Tree. Find yourpassion and grow deep roots. It willpromote growth in you, in all you do,and in all around you. PE

Laura Lopez is author of The Connected andCommitted Leader. Visit www.laura-lopez.com.

ACTION: Bring your heart to work.

P R O F E S S I O N A L • ENTERPRISE

Are You a Hollow Tree?Don’t get stuck in a job rut.

Work SmarterBe more enterprising.

P R O F E S S I O N A L • RUT

2. Don’t mistake activity for produc-tivity. To be successful, you must be busybeing productive. Don’t mistake activityfor productivity, movement for achieve-ment. Evaluate your use of time; look forwasted time that you could manage bet-ter. There is an opportunity cost to everyactivity. The time you spend doing onething is time you could spend doingsomething else. Before investing yourtime in anything, briefly ask yourself ifthis is the highest leverage activity youcould be doing to accomplish the mostimportant priority on your list for theday. And, make sure the activities onyour list for the day are the highest lever-age opportunities to accomplish yourshort- and long-term goals.

3. Focus. Concentrate on the job athand. Let nothing stand in your way ordistract you from the task. Invest your



First, declare your intention. Planand declare the specific activities thatyou say you will execute this week inyour health, business, and personal life.This is called the specific declaration.

Second, set a consequence for non-performance. Your brain is coded toseek and find the highest level of per-ceived pain and then avoid that pain forcomfort. This is an automatic neurologi-cal process that does not ask for yourconscious participation. Hence, youtend to be an avoidance machine.

It is futile to fight human nature.Good news—you don’t have to. Youcan operate at peak performance inaccordance to your coding of avoidance.You would do this by making sure thatthe consequence for non-performance isperceived as the highest level of pain.

Attach painful consequences to yourcommitments. Your brain already clear-ly recognizes the “pain” associated withthe activities. For example, let’s look atthe pain embedded in the commitmentto workout. It hurts, takes time, andtakes energy, so you say, “I’m tired.”How about sales prospecting? You havethe pattern of previous experiences ofrejection already running on automatic.

I used to think that rejection couldnot hurt you—that it was all mental.However, rejection stimulates the areaof the brain called the anterior cingu-late. This is the same area that gets stim-ulated and fires if you stub your toe.Yes, this is real physical pain, not justpsychological pain. Those neurologicalpatterns are automatically compellingavoidance. There must be an interven-tion to approach extraordinary results.

So make a new pattern. Add theintervention of a painful consequence ofpaying a $100 fine to someone youdon’t like, or contributing to a cause orpolitical party you don’t believe in. Doyou want to do this? No. How do youavoid having to make the contribution?By doing what you said you would do!You don’t need to worry about penaltyif you do the stated activity.

Implement this for one week and seewhat happens. You’ll take actions associ-ated with the painful consequence. Makea commitment that will be due withinthe time frame of the moment you wakeup on Monday and the time you go tobed on Sunday. Be specific. Declare apenalty that will be enforced if you don’texecute your promise. As for account-ability, I’m only an e-mail away. PE

Bob Davies is a speaker, author, trainer, coach, andpresident of High Performance Training; 949-830-9192,fax 949-830-9492, Email: [email protected], Website:www.Bobdavies.com or www.bobdaviescoaching.com.

ACTION: Set a consequence for nonperformance.

M E N TA L • P R O C R A S T I N AT I O N

someone suddenly pulls in front of you!Your brain interprets this as a threat,and you get the same physiologicalresponse that you would if you werethreatened by a mountain lion. This isinappropriate, and yet it occurs anyway.I call this evolutionary debris.

Here is another example. The appes-tat area of the brain stimulates the fatcells to release the hormone lepton tosignal that you are full, and you stopeating. There is a delay in this signalingof between 10 to 20 minutes. This delayfavors survival and enables you tobinge. It does not favor your survivalto be coded to overeat since your nextmeal is a certainty! However, theinstinct still exists. More debris.

An instinct is an inherent dispositiontoward a particular behavior. Instinctsare inherited, fixed, action patterns ofresponses or reactions to stimuli.

The survival mechanism of the sub-conscious recognition of pain and theautomatic avoidance is hard-wired in all

of life. It is a neurologicalfiring process that doesnot ask for your compli-ance or agreement. This isautomatic and results inavoidance and rationaliza-tion. Rationalization is thejustification of avoidance.It protects you from feel-ing guilty for not doingwhat you said you woulddo, and it leads to medioc-rity. Most people fall

between +1 and –1 standard deviationof the mean. About 70 percent is clus-tered around the average.

Where do you see this in your ownlife? What rational lies (rationalization)do you buy into and accept as beingtrue? Where in your life are you livingin resignation, accepting that you aredoing the best that you could bedoing? How does this affect yourhealth, business, or personal life?

You tend to operate up to the rangeof your comfort zone and rationalize.Hence, you tend to settle for medioc-rity—unless there is an intervention.

Solution: Behavioral ContractingThe solution to the limits of the

human condition is behavioral con-tracting. It has two components.

by Bob Davies

DO YOUR INTENTIONSmatch your perfor-

mance? Have you ever saidyou were going to do something thatyou were motivated to do and, despiteyour positive attitude, you didn’t takethe action?

Consider this. Exactly at 4:50 a.m.,the alarm clock rings awakening youfrom a deep sleep. You intend to get upand go for your workout. You want todo this. However, you cancel youralarm with the thought that it’sSaturday, and you’ve already hit yourcommitment to run four times a week.You don’t feel like it this morning, andyour final thought before drifting backto sleep is “I need to sleep in!”

Problem: Genetic CodingOn the surface, this sounds reason-

able. However, being reasonable resultsin low performance! What’s reallygoing on is genetic cod-ing—the survival mecha-nism. We have a narrowrange of perceptual abili-ties: we hear a limitedrange of frequencies, forexample, and see only cer-tain wavelengths of light.Other frequencies exist,but they are outside of ourperceptual abilities.

The brain processes 400billion bits of informationper second. Usually you are only con-scious of about 2,000 of those bits ofdata. Of this input, you are only con-scious of up to seven inputs, and ableto take action on one item at a time.

Since you have such a narrow band-width of perceptual abilities, you arepredisposed to see what can hurt youand then avoid that stimulus. All per-formance is the avoidance of pain andthe seeking of comfort.

The instinct of see-recognize threat-avoid ensures survival. All of life hasthis survival mechanism or “fight orflight” response. But the survival mech-anism doesn’t only operate when it’sappropriate—it is easily triggered andoften operates inappropriately.

For example, suppose that you aredriving on a crowded highway and

Do You Procrastinate?And find yourself being an avoidance machine?

what message would your better attitudeteach? Probably a great life lesson thatyou can control the way you handleyour life. The feelings of how you didsomething will last far longer than theresult of most actions you perform.

3. Practice seeing yourself in situa-tions you normally find distasteful ordifficult and change the script in yourhead by seeing yourself enjoying theevent. If you rehearse the positive behav-ior in your head (in a state of relaxation)you’ll soon be demonstrating this behav-ior in your life. Thoughts are things!

4. Until the ease of performance be-comes automatic, act “as if” it alreadyis. The more you show yourself whatyou can do rather than what you can’t,the easier a change of behavior becomes.

Little shifts in consciousness makehuge differences in performance. PE

Barry Eisen is a speaker, coach, and the founder of D.E.I.Call 818-769-4300, email [email protected],or visit www.BarryEisen.com.

ACTION: Have a get-to mindset.

by Barry Eisen

THE CHOICE OF WORDS YOUpick to describe a task or

event colors the way you doit, the success you have with it, and thepleasure you derive from it.

Think about the mindset that says, “Ihave to make those calls. I have to domy homework. I have to get organized.”When you “effort hard” by using willpower to make changes and to get thingsdone, the more you do, the more resis-tance you can create. Doing somethingwith a not-so-great attitude will likelyproduce not-the-best outcome.

Reframe the task by saying, “I get to”and the previous experiences of thosegreat moments of anticipation and ex-citement shift your outlook, your physi-cal and mental behavior. When you“have to,” you slump, feel the energydrain, and hide. When you “get to,” youstraighten up, look forward, make eyecontact, and allow yourself to enjoy thetask. Why not choose pleasure?

When you characterize something as“hard” or “difficult,” you associate thetask with an element of discomfort thatyou hold as an idea from your past. Inreality, the thing to be done is simplythe thing to be done. You’ve never doneit This Time before. It’s new. If you’vegiven the same presentation 1,000times, isn’t this a new audience? Thissimple perspective creates new experi-ence, fresh task, an adventure. By hold-ing to a past idea of a past experience(or someone else’s experience or nega-tive view!), the old ideas conjured bysuch words as hard or difficult colorwhat you are about to do. It is an atti-tude and a choice you make. Considerchallenging or exciting for the sameact—and you gravitate with differentposture and heightened expectation.

If making contacts (prospecting orlead generating) was easy and fun,everyone would be doing it. Many, withthe best of intentions, don’t. With morecontacts, appointments go up, salesincrease, financial stress is reduced, andyou have better health and emotionalpeace. This we all know.

If your kids came home from schoollooking forward to doing their home-work, they would procrastinate less, dobetter in school, have less pressure, andhave more free time to do things that

by Gregg Thompson

THE NEXT TIME YOU LISTENto a leader speak, listen

carefully to the speaker’suse of the word “I.” The manner inwhich a leader uses this one wordreveals much about his orher inclination towardsaccountability.

Most leaders learn earlyin careers to speak in termsof “we.” What should we do?How will we work together?What did we accomplish?They recognize that much oftheir role is to give voice tothe team’s or organization’s plans andperformance, and in that context, theuse of we is most appropriate. But intheir personal accountability, it’s allabout the “I” word.

As you listen, you’ll soon becomeadept at spotting leaders who have astrong sense of personal accountabili-ty—and those who do not.

Consider these four sample non-accountable statements: “I had to . . . I cannot . . . I need to . . . I am unableto . . .” When leaders use these or sim-ilar statements, they are signaling alack of accountability.

Conversely, these accountable state-ments signal a strong sense of personalaccountability: “I chose to . . . I will not. . . I want to . . . I am unwilling to . . .”

The difference between these phras-es may appear subtle, but they speakvolumes about the degree to which aleader takes responsibility for his orher thoughts, opinions, and actions.

How often do you hear a leader say:“I had to fire him,” “I can’t get alongwith the Board.” “I need to get moresupport,” “I can’t agree with you.”

These comments denote a lack ofpersonal accountability anderode leadership effective-ness. I believe that we arealways listening to thosearound us, almost uncon-sciously, and grading themon the accountability scale.We attribute the qualities ofleadership to those individ-uals who assume personal

accountability and discount the lead-ership of those who do not.

Think about the language you use.Does your language suggest that youhold yourself accountable for yourown performance, or do you deflectresponsibility elsewhere? It may seemlike a small matter of language choice,but its impact on how you are per-ceived as a leader is enormous. PE

Gregg Thompson is President of Bluepoint LeadershipDevelopment and author of Unleashed: ExpectingGreatness. Email [email protected] or visit www.bluepointleadership.com.

ACTION: Use accountability language.

M E N TA L • MINDSET

AccountabilityIt starts with language.

Have-to vs. Get-toC h a n g e y o u r m i n d s e t .

M E N TA L • ACCOUNTABILITY

interest them. We and they know this.If you dealt with the clutter that sur-

rounds you daily and kept your home,office, and car neat and orderly, howmuch high drama could you eliminateabout losing papers and keys andstressing over loose ends (to say noth-ing of sleeping better at night and expe-riencing greater calm)? You know this too.

If you’re tired of doing the same oldthings, or if you do them kicking andscreaming, there is a better way.

Four Action ItemsBefore doing anything that has been

hard, difficult or uncomfortable, do this:1. Tell yourself that you’ll do the act-

ivity well and comfortably. Your thoughtsand words, even if contrived, make a dif-ference in your outcome. Soon you’ll ap-proach your tasks automatically this way.

2. Do the activity with the mindsetthat when you look back, you’ll takepride in not just doing the activity well,but effortlessly, with class and style. Ifyou were being watched by your kids,



up in six countries speaking four lan-guages. I balanced different cultures,religions, foods, and schools. I’ve hadseven jobs in many industries—fromhigh-powered corporate positions inNYC to volunteer work in the non-profit sector in Africa. I’ve been indozens of relationships. I’ve been fatand thin, happy and sad. I’ve had lotsof money and no money. The changeskept coming—change is inevitable.Everyone is going through his or herown version of change; some are betterat handling it than others. Whether try-ing to lose weight, find a job, deal withthe loss of a loved one, quit smoking, orend an unhealthy relationship, changeoptimists have a unique outlook on lifeand the transitions it produces.

Questions and PrinciplesTo understand how change affects

you, answer these questions: Are yougood at change? Would someone whoknows you well say so? Are you betterat making or facing changes? What’sthe best change you’ve made? What isthe hardest change you’ve faced?What change do you want to make?Why hasn’t it happened yet? What’s inthe way? How much change are younow experiencing in your life? On ascale of 1 to 10, how willing are you towelcome change into your life?

Now that you understand howchange is part of you and where youare on the change scale, you can applynine basic principles. To get throughtough transitions, change optimists:

1. Have positive beliefs. They areoptimistic, believe that life is on theirside, and reach for good thoughts. Theybelieve that they can initiate and followthrough with changes in their ownlives. Change is good and possible.

2. Believe that change alwaysbrings something positive into their

lives. When faced with change, theyknow the change guarantee: “From thissituation, something good will come.”

3. Activate their change muscle, mak-ing them resilient. We all have this mus-cle; we are smarter, more intuitive, andmore resilient than we’ve been told. Ourchange muscle is strengthened each timewe go through a change. Draft a changeresume listing all of the changes—goodand bad—that you’ve experienced.You’ll be amazed at how much changeyou’ve already navigated.

4. Refuse to allow change demons—challenging emotions that arise duringchange—to stop their forward momen-tum. Fear, doubt, impatience, blame,guilt and shame are the main demonsthat come up during change, but changeoptimists don’t allow these emotions toslow their progress, choosing instead tofocus on faith, surrender, honor, forgive-ness, and other positive emotions.

5. Understand that they will experi-ence less pain and hardship if theyaccept the reality of their situation.Resisting change is not the answer.Change optimists let go of the idea ofhow life should be and accept wherethey are now. Acceptance gives yourelief and allows you to move forward.

6. Control what they say, think, andfeel while going through change. Theyunderstand that empowering questionslike “How might this change be goodfor me?” and positive thoughts and lan-guage (instead of why-me victim vocabu-lary) helps them move through change.

7. Look within. Change optimistsknow that part of them never changes. Itis calm, centered, and knows what todo. This place can be accessed throughsilence, meditation, talking a walk,spending time in nature, or through reli-gious practice. During change, you needto reconnect with this part of yourself, towake up, to be more conscious.

8. Turn to a change support team.They know they are never alone—thereis always someone who can help. Mov-ing through change is easier when youseek the help and support of others.

9. Take action. People who are goodat change don’t remain stagnant. Theytake care of themselves physically, theymake decisions, and they have a plan.

When you look at these nine princi-ples, which ones challenge you? Whichdo you need to work on to become thetype of person who can handle change—who is open to the unexpected and eagertake on changes that need to be made? PE

Ariane de Bonvoisin is author of The First 30 Days. Visitwww.first30days.com.

ACTION: Navigate your life transitions.

by Ariane de Bonvoisin

EACH YEAR IN THE U.S., 55million people will lose

their jobs, 45 million will goon a diet, and two million will getdivorced. These are all life changes.

Change surrounds us on a grand,scale but also in unique personal wayswith our families, friends, careers,finances, health, and spiritual outlook.

Change is omnipresent and indis-criminating. All human beings, regard-less of their age, economic standing,religious affiliation, or educationalbackground are either secretly hopingto make a change, facing an unexpectedchange, or helping someone elsethrough a change. Think of all of thechanges you may have been through:divorce, illness, losing a loved one,becoming a parent, moving, changingjobs, graduating, and so on. The core ofyour being is wrapped up in change.

Since change is the only thing youcan expect, getting good at it should bethe number-one life skill to cultivate!The Dalai Lama said that it is essentialfor kids to learn how to navigatechange. But for those who missed outon a change education—that’s most ofthe population—the learning has justbegun. When asked how they feel aboutchange, most people will say that theyhate going through it. They will say thatchange is hard and that they feel alonewhen going through transitions. Mostpeople find that change makes themfeel confused and overwhelmed.

Our initial reaction to change is nega-tive because we haven’t learned the bestway to initiate it or to handle the unex-pected changes that can turn our livesupside down. The world hates change, yetit is the only thing that has brought aboutprogress, wrote Charles Kettering.

While we can’t avoid change, we canbecome better at navigating transitions.People who are good at change (changeoptimists) know that their beliefs, feel-ings, thoughts, and actions directly affecthow easy or hard a change can be.

A Life of ChangeI learned about change while build-

ing First30Days, a company dedicated tohelping people through change, andthrough my own life experience. I grew

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Be Good at ChangeF i n d y o u r c h a n g e q u o t i e n t !

S O C I A L • C H A N G E

of them. They will pass. The more youaccept them, the easier the process is.• A better home relationship brings in a

better bottom line at work. Most peoplework hard and are under stress. Whenyou get home, it takes extra effort not tolose control and hurt the people youcare about the most. • Focus on people you care about and

express sincere interest in them. Spendquality time with them. It’s easy to getcaught up with toys and technology. Payattention to the people at home withoutbeing distracted. When someone is talk-ing, pay attention. To really score points,help with chores and with dinner. PE

Karen H. Sherman is a psychologist and author ofMindfulness and The Art of Choice (Loving Healing Press).Call 516-935-5033 or email [email protected] visitwww.ChoiceRelationships.com.

ACTION: Gain greater control over your emotions.

by Karen Sherman

MANY PEOPLE CAN HOLD ITtogether at work and

stay cool, calm, and collected;but when they get home, they turn intoa crazy person, exploding, losing con-trol, and hurting the very people whoare most important to them. And thishappens without their knowing why!

There’s a way to end this mindless,reactive, and destructive pattern. It’spossible to stay calm and in control ofyour emotions. But being able to staypresent, to stay centered, doesn’t alwayshappen easily. You’ve got to choose totake control and then rewire your brain.

I know first-hand what it’s like grow-ing up in a dysfunctional family. To getcontrol of my emotions, I had to reachthrough the depths of despair, choose toface the pain, heal the wounds, and thenrecreate my life. I realized that mindful-ness is a choice. I developed the tools tochange how people can get in the hereand now and have better relationships.

Many of us operate like robots. Wefunction without being aware. We existrather than live, as if we’re on autopilotemotionally and unconscious of whatwe’re doing. You can break this cycle.

You have to be in the here and now.You have to be truly engaged in what’shappening. You have to be in chargeand be able to handle your emotions.

To heal old wounds, you have to beable to revisit your past and change theway emotions are triggered. Once youare no longer responding in an emo-tionally reactive way, a new world ofpossibilities is revealed—and you’ll havethe ability to look at all different andwonderful opportunities that are there.

Here are some of the simple waysyou can get control of emotions:• Pay attention to your body. If your

body is tense or tight, you are feelingemotion. You can’t make changesunless you are more aware of yourself.• When you get excited, learn to relax.

Take a long, slow, deep breath and ex-hale slowly to create relaxation. Pretendthat you’re blowing on lit birthday can-dles, but you don’t get to blow them out.• Take a time out. If you see that you

are reacting and taking your reactionsout on someone else, try to take a timeout. Move away out of earshot for aminute or two until the energy subsides.

by Carol Ring

YOU’VE LIKELY ENCOUNT-ered situations where

you had to do something,even though there was something elseyou really wanted to do. Perhaps youwanted to take the kids to a movie, butyou had to finish a project. Chances arethat whatever you had to do won out,and what you wanted to do got deferred.

This scenario happens allthe time. We’re torn betweendoing what we want to doand doing what we have todo. We’re continually search-ing for life balance—runningat a crazy pace, only to endup exhausted, unfulfilled,stressed, and dreading thatit’ll be the same tomorrow.

Fortunately, you don’t have tochoose between what you have to do andwhat you want to do. You simply needto stop multi-tasking and start multi-purposing. This means you use oneevent, situation, or activity for morethan one purpose. You scratch two itemsoff your to-do list (one you have to do andone you want to do) with one activity.

For example, suppose you have toattend a local awards dinner; you don’twant to go. You also have some peoplewhom you mentor regularly. You lovementoring, so this is a “want to do.”

To multi-purpose, you could inviteyour mentees to the dinner, thus inte-grating two activities so everyone wins.

Rather than focus on many thingsyou have to do, focus on things thatbring joy to your life and incorporateother tasks into those activities.

Follow these three tips:1. Discover your personal values.

Brainstorm a list of key words thatreflect who you are. Review them tolook for themes. When you engage inactivities that epitomize your values,you’re much happier, even whenworking in your “have to do” list. Thisexercise will crystallize the things thatare most important to you. It will giveyou the freedom to say “no” to certain“have to do” items and spend time onthose things that mean the most to

you. Your life will take on anew purpose full of promise.

2. Get perspective on whereyou spend your time. Think ofyour health, family, finances,friends, work, community,and spiritual life. Rate 1 to 10how you’re doing in eacharea, with 10 being “this isgreat” and 1 being “this is

suffering.” Review your answers. Doyou spend enough time in the areasthat matter most to you? If not, decidewhat’s best for you and choose to do it.

3. Build a library of experts. To alle-viate the burden, turn to your network.You will find people who can helpyou, save you time, and keep you fromre-inventing the wheel.

To keep your sanity and happiness,integrate your “have to do” and “wantto do” activities. PE

Carol Ring is VP of strategic initiatives at Rogers Cable,speaker, co-author of Awakening the Workplace, andauthor of Who Hid My Crayons? Call 905-326-3251,e-mail [email protected] or visit www.carolring.ca.

ACTION: Practice multi-purposing.

E M O T I O N A L • CONTROL


Gain Life BalanceS t a r t m u l t i - p u r p o s i n g .

Make the ChoiceTake control of your emotions.

E M O T I O N A L • B A L A N C E

You can acknowledge that you gotgrabbed. People are usually forgiving ifyou take responsibility for your actions.• Write it all down. Get some paper,

get a notebook. Whenever you areupset, start to write. Write as fast as youcan, and don’t worry about spelling orgrammar. But keep writing! This willallow you to release your feelings.Then, when you’re done, read whatyou’ve written. It will help you gaininsight as to what was bothering you.• Imagine yourself as a child. Allow

that child to communicate feelings withyou. Allow these old feelings to beexpressed to yourself as an adult who isunconditionally loving. This will help toheal and create a new brain connection.• Recognize your feelings. Say how

you feel out-loud. Know that these feel-ings are from the past. Do not be afraid


would become the Nevada CountyMeltdown. We organized into teams of five and registered 128 teams. Overthe next two months, participationgrew to 206 teams. Hundreds morepeople participated informally througha community network of employers,businesses, restaurants, grocery stores,churches, schools, and members of themedical community.

Over 1,000 friends and neighborslost nearly four tons in eight weeks—the equivalent of 40 people!

We had tons of fun as we lost tons offat. We helped each other face privatedemons. Age, race, politics, economicstatus, and profession didn’t matter—the issue of obesity cut through our dif-ferences. The event created civic

pride—the Nevada County Meltdownrestored the unity in community.

The context for the event was thesame as I used to generate my own suc-cess. We had fun—we encouraged indi-viduals to meet their nutrition and exer-cise needs in appropriate and enjoyableways, and we worked together.

Steps in the ProcessThe Nevada County Meltdown con-

sisted of these seven steps:1. Put down the fork in your mouth.

Instead, take the fork in the road. Wemust decide to change and begin tomake those changes today.

2. Tell the truth and go public. Weneed to announce our decision to getfit and lose weight. By announcing ourintent, we receive support and realizethat we are not alone and that othersare facing the same challenge.

3. Find supporters and create team-work. Teamwork takes many forms.The first kind involves our personalresources—a medical doctor, physicaltherapist, dietitian, personal trainer, or

lifestyle counselor—who can help usreach our goal. The second kind consistsof fellow fitness travelers. This team canbe assembled at work, home, socialorganizations, or Web site forums. Thethird kind involves the community.During the Meltdown, businesses donat-ed prizes, fitness centers provided freeuse of gyms, restaurants offered specialmenus, and grocery stores featured spe-cials on fruits and vegetables combinedwith recipes. The local newspaper andother media created a Web site and fea-tured success stories and fitness tips.

4. Design your own unique program.Set goals and create structure. My goalwas overall fitness with a weight loss of60 pounds in six months. The goal ofthe Meltdown was improved fitnesswith a weight loss of 1,000 pounds aweek. Our structure consisted of hun-dreds of teams, volunteer event orga-nizers, and volunteer speakers.

5. Establish a system of accountabil-ity. In the card game of life, honestytrumps denial. During my makeover, Ireported my results to a personal train-er once a week. During the Meltdown,team members reported to their captain,who fed the results back to the commu-nity. The feedback returned quicklythrough a Web site, newspaper features,radio shows, and television reports.

6. Become a student again—learn,experiment, and celebrate. During mymakeover, I began experimenting withnew foods, recipes, and ways to exer-cise. During the Meltdown, we educat-ed ourselves about critical issuesinvolving nutrition and exercise andabout the medical implications of obesi-ty. We tried new foods and ways ofexercising and celebrated our successes.

7. Share the health—recruit or regress.Become an advocate and example of fit-ness. I decided to use my own fitnessjourney for the benefit of others facingsimilar challenges. At the Meltdown’sconclusion, we resolved to be an exam-ple for other communities and to pro-mote healthful changes.

Today, I’m replicating our successfulexperiment to create weapons of massreduction in other communities. I’m alsoeating carefully and exercising regularly.I’m fortunate to have made lifestylechanges before my body imploded. Assoon as I began to make healthier choic-es, my body was amazingly responsiveand forgiving of past abuses. Althoughvanity triggered the transformation, thebig benefit is a longer, healthier life. PE

Carole Carson is a fitness advocate and the author ofFrom Fat to Fit. Visit www.fromfat2fit.com.

ACTION: Achieve your fitness goals.

by Carole Carson

SIX YEARS AGO, I WAS Awalking time bomb.

Focused on the demands ofrunning my company while heading asingle-parent household, I brushed per-sonal needs aside. The results were pre-dictable. I loaded 60 surplus pounds onmy 5-foot-2-inch frame. I was morethan overweight. I was obese.

But denial is wonderful. I saw myselfas pudgy, not obese. I convinced myselfthat my weight didn’t matter. I had lotsof energy and didn’t have any pressingmedical problems. Plus, I was certainthat I didn’t eat too much. Obviously,my metabolism had changed over time,and my body structure was geneticallydetermined. The demands on my timedidn’t permit regular exercise. Besides,everybody around me was heavy.

When I stepped on my bathroomscale, the numbers raced to 183 pounds.I was forced to face the truth—I wasfat! At that moment, I decided to get fitonce and for all. A lifetime of failurewith popular diets loomed large. Successwould require a different approach.

Shifting the Context My first insight involved changing

the context. What if I could make theproject fun? Instead of grim dieting, Iwould seek a way that I could enjoy-ably eat for the rest of my life. I wouldfind ways to exercise that were soengaging that I would pursue them fortheir own sake. With a torn hamstringfrom a recent fall, I would hire a person-al trainer at my local health club. Thatway, I wouldn’t try to do too much andset myself back. Beginning that day, Iwas free to create a wonderful new life.

And, I decided to take this privatematter public. Swallowing my pride, Ichronicled my makeover in the localnewspaper. Week by week, readerswatched me shrink from a size 18 to asize 6, from 183 pounds to 122. Facedwith the challenge of keeping the weightoff, I continued to share my joys and set-backs in fitness. Later, when I invitedreaders to join me in getting fit, I won-dered if my story would have an impact.

The answer surprised me. Over 1,000people in our small foothill communityattended the opening session of what

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Weapon of Mass ReductionYo u a n d o t h e r s c a n h a v e t o n s o f f u n .

P H Y S I C A L • W E I G H T

cation, and the road to happiness ispaved with diversion. Happiness wearsoff as soon as the source of your happi-ness is consumed, discarded, or ended.It goes away after the positive feelingsassociated with it dissolve. Joy continueseven in the midst of pain and suffering.

Unfortunately, you sometimes mis-takenly believe that the path to happi-ness is the same as the road to joy.

To reaching your potential, whatchanges would you make in your atti-tude and behavior? What would a 12-month plan look like? PE

Dave Durand is author of Win the World (Crossroad)due out it April. Visit www.davedurand.com.

ACTION: Make a 12-month plan of discipline.

to cut ethical corners at work.The outcome of serving your need

for immediate gratification includesdissatisfaction, ranging from a minorsense of guilt or inconvenience topainful and soul-wrenching shame.

Joy and HappinessDaily, you make choices between

short- and long-term gratification andjoy and happiness. You’re born with adesire for joy. Almost everything youdo, you do to achieve joy. The problemis that you often confuse joy with hap-piness. That confusion leads to fallinginto the short-term gratification trap.

The road to joy is paved with dedi-

by Dave Durand

WINNING THE WORLDdepends on exercising

self-control and self-disci-pline. When you desire immediate grat-ification, you compromise theseessential practices. It’s easy to fall intoshort-term gratification traps withouteven realizing what’s happening.

The pathway to winning the worldrequires you avoid short-term gratifica-tion traps that knock you off courseand keep you from your ultimate goals.

You don’t choose many of yourduties and obligation. For example, youare obligated to follow the law, paytaxes, remain loyal to your country,perhaps even defend the country inwar. These are the laws of the land.

The obligation to maximize yourpotential is also a duty you may notchoose, but it exists anyway. That oblig-ation is not subject to the laws of theland; however, it is subject to naturallaw and the laws of nature.

Natural law is based on the struc-ture of reality and is an unchangingrule or pattern, not made by humanbeings, but all people are capable ofdiscovering it and living by it. Naturallaw guides you to choose good overevil and do what’s in your best interest.Disciplines such as philosophy and the-ology seek to understand natural lawand how it relates to human life.

The laws of nature guide the naturalworld and are described in such disci-plines as physics and biology. If youbreak a national or state law, you canbe fined or imprisoned; if you break thenatural law or the laws of nature, youwill interfere with your ability to thriveand grow. You may become sick, con-fused, guilt-ridden, or depressed.

Every time you make a decision thatviolates your values or hurts someoneelse simply to serve your own need forinstant gratification, you compromiseyour ability to reach your full potential.

Most poor decisions are made for thepurpose of immediate gratification. Youface countless opportunities to choose:to spend money you don’t have onthings you don’t need, to sleep in whenyou should get up, to eat a secondpiece of pie when you’ve already eatentoo much, to watch TV when you couldplay with the kids or do the dishes, or

by Vidula Bal, Michael Campbelland Sharon McDowell-Larsen

STRESS IS UNAVOIDABLE. WHAT’S IMPOR-tant is to know when you’re moving

from good stress to bad stress—to beaware of the difference—and to managestress properly so you can bemore effective over time.

When you have theresources you need to meet orexceed the demands put onyou, stress can show its posi-tive side. That good kind ofstress—eustress—acts as astimulating factor that con-tributes to success. Eustress isthe energy you feel when tack-ling a challenging assignment and feel-ing confident in your abilities. However,when demands exceed your resourcesand resilience, you experience the typeof stress associated with health problemsand deteriorating relationships: distress.

The key is to know which stress iswhich, how to judge reactions to variousstressful situations, and how best tomanage the negative stress. This is espe-cially important when you face the addi-tional stress brought about by the uniquedemands of leadership—having to makedecisions with limited information, man-age conflict, and do more with less.

We offer practical tips on the causesof leadership stress. We have identified10 factors inherent to leadership rolesthat contribute to increased stress: ambi-

guity; lack of control; working beyondtechnical expertise; too much success;doing more with less, faster; buildingrelationships and managing conflict;developing and supporting others; per-sonal insecurity; high expectations; andperformance demands.

So what can you do to better man-age your stress? Here are eight tips:

1. Know the signals—pay attentionto your body’s response to stress.

2. Create a ritual—make it a habit tohave a stress break.

3. Get away—find effective ways toset boundaries between work and home.

4. Build a support system—build anetwork of people who can assist youat work and thus alleviate some of the

stress you feel. 5. Regroup on the task—

look for ways to organizeand streamline your work.

6. Recover—build timeinto your routine to recharge.

7. Redefine balance—linkbalance to your values andchoose supportive activities.

8. Exercise—create a regu-lar exercise regimen, which

can help you regulate emotions, inducerelaxation, and increase self-esteem.

Work is a primary source of stress inour lives, and having a leadership roleonly increases that stress. More leadersbelieve their stress level is higher thanit was five years earlier, and that theirorganizations fail to provide them withthe tools they need to manage stress.

We encourage you to practice thesestrategies for identifying and manag-ing leadership stress. PE

Vidula Bal is a senior enterprise associate, Michael Cam-pbell is a senior research analyst, and Sharon McDowell-Larsen is an exercise physiologist at the Colorado Springscampus of the Center for Creative Leadership. They’reauthors of Managing Leadership Stress. Call CCL at 336-545-2810 or visit www.ccl.org/guidebooks.

ACTION: Take these tips to better manage stress.

P H Y S I C A L • D I S C I P L I N E

1 0 w w w . L e a d e r E x c e l . c o m P e r s o n a l E x c e l l e n c e

Self-DisciplineIt’s the key to winning.

Good vs. Bad StressDistinguish between the two.

P H Y S I C A L • S T R E S S

P e r s o n a l E x c e l l e n c e w w w . L e a d e r E x c e l . c o m 1 1

failed? Are you the first in your marketto come up with the idea? Whatever thesituation, get a clear picture of whetherthe marketplace can sustain you.

2. Your ability to do your job. Eachday you must wake up and ask your-self key questions: How can I do myjob with excellence? How can I bestuse my resources to excel? How can Ibe an expert by targeting a certaindemographic? How can I improvegiven the circumstances I have?

Many people focus on challengesthey face rather than on possibilities.They look at their job and how theyshould be compensated backwards.For example, they may say to theirboss, “Give me more money (or a com-pany car or stock options or better

health benefits) and I’ll do a betterjob.” But such a mindset is the equiva-lent of saying to your fireplace, “Giveme heat, and I’ll give you wood.”

The Law of Compensation states thatyou need to start with what you offer,and then the money will come. Alwaysfocus on how you can do your job bet-ter, how you can be different, how youcan improve, and how you can turnchallenges into opportunities for your-self and your company. The more youkeep your focus on serving and im-proving, the more money you’ll earn.

3. How easy or difficult you are toreplace. Your monetary worth is indirect proportion to how easy it is toreplace you. If you’re easy to replace,then your monetary worth is low. Butif you are the best one at your job andgiving good service to your customers,then you are extremely valuable.

To raise your worth and earnings,always do more than what is expectedfrom you. Too many people rely on theold phrase, “That’s not my job.” Butgoing the extra mile and doing those

things that aren’t in your job descriptionwill help you stand out and get therecognition that leads to more money.Many opportunities start with someoneseeing a need and filling it. If you arethe person who always volunteers andtakes on new responsibilities willingly,people will remember you and you’ll bethe first in line for new business, bonus-es, promotions, and raises.

4. Your attitude. Your attitude atwork is often more important than yourskill set. The way you view the worldand handle challenges definitelyimpacts your bottom line. For example,someone who complains all the timeabout not being paid enough, howtough the economy is, and how meanor unthankful the customers are, won’tbe viewed as favorably as someone whois proactive about solving problems anddedicated to customer service. As theold saying goes, “Where attention goes,energy flows.” The things you spendyour time thinking about will multiply.What do you continually think about atwork—the problems, the unfairness,your low pay check? Or do you thinkabout rendering great service, findingsolutions, and creating opportunities?

Focus on your own ability to do yourwork. Be honest with yourself. Giveyour full attention to your work and bepositive. You become a happier person;and when you’re happier and focusingon how you can do better and improveservice, you stand out as someone whodeserves more money.

5. Your belief in the Law of Compen-sation. To make the Law of Compensationwork for you, you must believe in itand trust that it works. It might takesome time until you see noticeableresults. You can’t start on Monday andexpect results by Friday. You need along-term focus. So, believe that youdeserve more money and acknowledgethat there is an indisputable law to yourearnings success. Doing so will helpyou keep your perspective and strive toalways do better on the job.

If you’re not earning what you want,examine yourself and your on-the-jobbehaviors and actions. Are you follow-ing these guidelines? Or are you justhoping that by some stroke of luckyou’ll earn more? Luck has nothing todo with your salary. When you followthese principles and believe in yourself,your salary will rise, and your futureincome potential will be limitless. PE

Ingunn Aursnes is an author, LifeSuccess consultant,and owner of Quantum Leaps Consulting. Call 561-868-1815 or visit www.quantumleapsconsulting.com.

ACTION: Apply the law of compensation.

by Ingunn Aursnes

NO MATTER WHAT YOU DOfor a living—whether

you’re a salesperson, a busi-ness owner, a self-employed profession-al, or office worker—the paychecks forpeople performing the same job func-tions as you vary greatly. Some peopleare earning a lot, while others are justbarely scraping by. Even though youmay be in the same market or industryand doing the same day-to-day things,your outcomes are very different.

Why is there such an earnings dis-crepancy among people in the same orsimilar jobs? Those who emerge as thetop performers know how to use theLaw of Compensation to their benefit.

According to the Law of Compensation,there are no coincidences or circum-stances as to why some people earnmore than others. Even though you’lllikely hear people say: “He sells morebecause he has a better market,” or“The downturn has hit me much hard-er than others,” or “Of course she’spaid more . . . she’s the boss’s niece,”those external circumstances have littleto do with a person’s earnings.

The Law of Compensation is a physicallaw and always works; however, to haveit work for your advantage, you need tounderstand the elements involved.

Five ElementsAccording to the Law of Compensation,

the money you earn will always be inexact ratio to the following five things:

1. The need for what you do. For youto be successful, there has to be a marketfor what you do—the product you sell orservice you offer. If you’re an employeeor salesperson in a company, this point istaken care of for you. As long as thecompany you work for is viable and hashired you for a certain position, thenthere’s a need for what you do. If you’rea business owner or self-employed pro-fessional, you’ll have to do someresearch to determine if there’s a marketfor your offering. Find out if anyone elseis offering the same product or service asyou. If yes, how much competition isthere? Even if the marketplace seems sat-urated, you can set yourself apart. If noone else is doing what you do, why not?Have many people before you tried and

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Write Your Own PaycheckUse the law of compensation to earn more.

F I N A N C I A L • C O M P E N S AT I O N

friend walked up. He was a successfulVaudevillian, Charlie Cooley; he said,‘How you doing?’ He introduced me toCharlie Hogan, who booked small the-atres around Chicago. He said, ‘I cangive you one day at the West InglewoodTheatre for $25.’ I’d only been making $10a show. That booking got me rolling.”

Joan Rivers is one of the nicest, mostgenerous people with whom I have everhad the privilege of working. She neverrefused to sign an autograph, and alwayshad time for me. She encouraged mewith one of her stories about persistence:“On December 7, 1958, I walked into TheShowbar in Boston. I was to be paid $125for the week, two shows a night. I hadalready checked into the hotel across thestreet. It was a dirty, horrible place, but Ididn’t care. This was my first job. Afterthe first show, the manager fired me. As

far back as I can remember, I wanted acareer in show business, but people werealways telling me ‘no.’ I tried everythingand called on every one, but everyonesaid no. My own mother said, ‘You haveno talent. You’re throwing your life away.’Even in my darkest moments, I knewinstinctively that my unyielding drivewas my most valuable asset. Perseverancewill always be just as important as talent.”

Consider the people you meet to betreasure troves of knowledge. Ask themto share their stories with you—wordsthat will encourage, inspire, and helpyou. Life provides you with manyopportunities to seek wisdom. Perseverein your talent, and you’ll succeed. PE

Andy Andrews is author of The Traveler’s Gift andMastering the Seven Decisions That Determine PersonalSuccess. Visit www.AndyAndrews.com.

ACTION: Ask questions of successful people.

by Andy Andrews

EVERYONE HAS SETBACKS.When I was struggling,

my passion was to knowhow other people overcame rejectionand defeat. To succeed in life, you mustunderstand how to deal with criticism,how to overcome challenges, how tobalance your life, and how to deal withsuccess. To understand these things, youneed to talk to those who have suffered,persisted, and eventually succeeded.

I asked various celebrities, politi-cians, and professionals some key ques-tions to find out what has made themsuccessful. I asked them great questions:What is the greatest disappointment inyour life and how did you overcome it?What’s the most important decisionyou’ve ever made in your life? What’sthe worst decision you’ve made in yourlife? If you were to give an 18-year-oldone specific wisdom, what would it be?

Whenever you talk to a successfulperson who has overcome adversityand overwhelming odds, have somequestions in mind—as their answerswill provide you with an education.

Jimmy Dean told me that success andwealth are a state of mind. “My grandfa-ther, W. J. Taylor, was the most success-ful and wealthy man I ever knew, andyet he never made more than $10,000 inany year in his life. But he was the bestfarmer in Hale County, Texas. He hadthe straightest fences, the cleanest end-rows, the neatest barn, and the neatesthouse. He raised nine kids, he had agreat relationship with the man upstairsand a wonderful inner peace. To me, thisis success and wealth.”

Regarding setbacks, he said: “Beingknocked down is part of life—and get-ting up is also part of life. Find ways tobounce back from temporary setbacks.Delete the word defeat from your vocab-ulary. Be self-reliant. With all the wel-fare available today, many talentedpeople are never forced to find out whattheir talent is and use it.”

Bob Hope was a great entertainer. Iworked with him for a time and askedhim about his first break. He’d changedhis name from Lester to Bob because BobHope sounded more “chummy,” but hestill wasn’t booking shows. He said, “Iwas about ready to go home to get a fullmeal and my laundry cleaned when this

by Michael Angier

AT THE TURN OF THE LASTcentury, officials con-

sidered disbanding the U.S.Patent Office; many believed that therewere few inventions left to be patented,that all the great inventions had alreadybeen taken. No doubt some peopletoday feel the same way.

I disagree. I believe we’reentering a time of unprece-dented innovation. We’reexperiencing some of thegreatest prosperity we’veever known. Productivity isat an all-time high. Andwhen basic needs are met,it’s easier to be creative.

Innovation is not onlyfor so-called “creative”minds. We’re all creative, and each ofus has the ability to generate ideas tosolve problems in our lives and busi-nesses and improve our relationships.

Innovation is simply reorganizinginformation in new ways. Take someof your time saved from increased pro-ductivity to think and create. Ask ques-tions. Dig deep. Think about what youwant and what others might want.What problems need to be solved? Howcan we solve them? Remember that it’sokay to borrow ideas, as long as youdon’t borrow them all from one source.

Arnold Glasgow said, “Ideas notcoupled with action never become big-

ger than the brain cells they occupied.” Ideas are cheap—it is the imple-

mentation that creates the real value.Ideas by themselves are worthless.Plans are nothing—unless they are fol-lowed with action. An idea without astrategy, without action, is useless.

Still, you need to keep track of theideas you have. Record them in somefashion. And make them easy to accesslater. You never know when an ideamay trigger another one that could bejust the one to make you a million dol-lars or save a million. An idea youhave today may be impractical. Orperhaps you may be unable to do any-

thing about it at themoment. No matter. Makesure you record it some-where. If you make it easyto do, you’ll do more of it.

I use my Task List inMicrosoft Outlook to trackideas. I can categorize themand they’re easy to find.Index cards also work well.They fit in a shirt pocket orpurse and are easy to sort

and categorize. You can even use yourjournal or a separate document on yourword processor. The easier it is to findand review them, the more valuableyour ideas will be to you.

I also use a hand-held tape recorderin my car to record ideas as they occurto me. It’s handy, and safer. I don’t tryto write as I’m driving. Later, I tran-scribe the ideas into my Outlook files.

Your best ideas are answers to yourproblems. So, pick the best, implementthem, and watch your life improve. PE

Michael Angier is founder of SuccessNet.org, andauthor of the SuccessNet Resource Book.

ACTION: Capture and apply million-dollar ideas.

F I N A N C I A L • P R O G R E S S


Million-Dollar IdeasThey’re only valuable when applied.

Get Ahead in LifeAsk quest ions o f people .

F I N A N C I A L • I D E A S


Maroba’s story calls us back to thatmiracle we have seen and reminds usthat what we need in life is availableto us, if only we know how to look forit. And only if we remember that get-ting what really matters in lifedepends, above all, on giving it back.

At the end of the story, I ask ourteam, “Do you have elders, like Maroba,who guide you?” Many reply sadly, “Idon’t know. No matter whom I think of,their role seems narrow or fragmented.We don’t have real elders anymore.”

As we stare into the coals of the fire,Maroba asks me, “Who are the eldersof your tribe?” I draw a blank. My“tribe?” My elders? Who are they? Ican’t answer. The concept of “elder”for our tribe—contemporary men and

women—seems foreign. And yetMaroba’s question begs for an answer.

The next day, Maroba’s question—Who are the elders of your tribe?—stayswith me. Clearly, the idea of elder, forus, is distinct from being old. Those ofus who aspire to being elders in ourcommunities know that we are older;what is most important to us is a senseof vitality and purpose, a sense that westill matter and can make a difference.We aspire to a purposeful sense of self.

We live in a culture that celebratesyouth. Many “boomers” have celebrat-ed youth most enthusiastically. Now,though, we wonder about our place inthe world and what we have to offeras a result of our life experience.

The place of respect that elders enjoyin tribal groups represents a sharp con-trast to how older adults in our societyare seen. The elders earn and acceptthe respect they’re given. It’s not justthat they’re acknowledged by theirpeople—they claim themselves as vitalresources for their communities.Becoming an elder is, for them, an

active step that involves staking out aplace of power around the fire. A per-son closest to the flames has somethingvaluable to bring forth and takes theinitiative to do so. In this way, he or sheclaims that place of respect at the fire.

We see this step of owning ourpower as the missing piece to the role ofelders. To some degree, we have accept-ed our culture’s picture of aging. Werealize that it is time for us—individual-ly and as a group of people in the sec-ond half of our lives—to create a newpicture of vital aging. It is time to claimour places at the fire. A new languageemerges from our discussions. We begincalling ourselves the new elders—peoplewho use the second half of life as anempty canvas, a blank page, a hunk ofclay to be crafted on purpose; peoplewho never stop reinventing themselves.

For new elders, the past predicts butdoes not determine the future. Newelders live the second half of their livesin ways characterized by an alivenessand vitality grounded in a deep sense ofpurpose. We realize that it is time forus—in the second half of our lives—tocreate a new picture of vital aging andto claim our places at the fire.

New elders put to use their deepwisdom. They experience a sense of lib-eration by discovering who they trulyare and how best to express that.

Four FlamesLate one night, alone, gazing into the

fire, I reflect on four questions: “Who amI? Where do I belong? What do I careabout? Why am I here?” Suddenly I seefour flames—one for each question.

1. The flame of identity—who am I?It is the flame of our life’s stories. By re-calling our story, we rediscover and re-invent ourselves in the second half of life.

2. The flame of community—wheredo I belong? It is the flame of our place.By re-finding our place, we embrace asense of intimacy for life’s second half.

3. The flame of passion—what do Icare about? By renewing our life’s call-ing, we stay connected and mentor thosewho’ll see to things after we’re gone.

4. The flame of purpose—why am Ihere? This flame illuminates our life’smeaning. By reclaiming our purpose,we find creative expression and make adifference in the lives of others.

In life’s second half, the reward forsurviving is the freedom to become your-self and to claim your place at the fire. PE

Richard Leider is Founding Partner of the InventureGroup and coauthor with David A. Shapiro of ClaimingYour Place At the Fire (Berrett-Koehler, 2004). Visitwww.inventuregroup.com.

ACTION: Claim your place at the fire.

by Richard Leider

ON MY 20TH WALKING SAFARIin Tanzania, I find myself

with my team of “inventurers”––individuals who adventure inwardthrough outdoor experience––sittingaround the fire late into the eveningwith a small group of Hadza elders.

Living on the edge of a primevalBaobab tree forest, the Hadza aregrounded with the natural world.

The elders of the tribe, in keepingwith tradition, sit closer to the fire.Younger members form a larger circlearound them. Our team is honored tosit among the elders. In the glow of thefirelight, I see expressions of respectand deference on the faces of our groupas we lean forward to take in the wordsof wisdom being shared with us.

The man speaking is Maroba, a Hadzaelder, deeply immersed in the ways andstories of his people. He is sharing a storyabout the Honey Guide, a small gray andrust-colored bird that flutters about theBaobab and Acacia trees in the Hadzahomeland. Maroba tells us that from hisyouth, he was taught that the HoneyGuide is the friend of his people. He isthe “indicator” bird, pointing the way tolife’s sweetness—where to find the honeyon which our lives depend.

We’re reminded to keep our eyesand ears open for the Honey Guide.Should we hear the “Weet-terr, weet-terr” of this wise bird, we must whistleback. The Honey Guide will then flyclose to us, and flash his white tailfeathers to get our attention. Followhim, whistling to him as he sings back,“Weet-terr, weet-terr” and he will leadus to a bees’ nest dripping with honey.We must then climb the tree, smoke outthe bees, and take the honeycomb.

Maroba instructs: Before we eat thehoney ourselves, we must break off apiece of the honeycomb and leave it forthe Honey Guide to thank him for hisguidance. If we do not do so, he will nolonger sing to us. Or worse, he maysing when we are hunting, giving usaway to the prey we are stalking.

Listening to Maroba’s story, weknow that it is true because we haveseen the Honey Guide and witnessedthis amazing interaction—a relation-ship that benefits both species.

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Leaders as EldersW h o a r e t h e E l d e r s i n y o u r t r i b e ?

I N S P I R AT I O N A L • W I S D O M

longing to unfold. We all share a com-mon heart, an inner wisdom directly con-nected to Infinite Intelligence. You canfind this wisdom through a deliberateinner search. Meditation, prayer, journal-ing, and spirit quests are excellent waysto facilitate this reconnection and defineyour alignment to the spiritual missionsthat you’ve pledged to accomplish.

Take time daily to look deep within torecover your soul wisdom. Once you en-ter into that sacred space, allow changesto be your guide into a higher awarenessof life’s unfolding perfection. PE

Dannion and Kathryn Brinkley are authors of The Secretsof the Light (Harper Collins). Visit www.dannion.com.

ACTION: Embrace life’s changes.

tions change, so will your life experi-ences. Your true destiny, however,remains the same. This is where yourspiritual stamina gets put to the test.Are you living in alignment with yourdestiny, or are you challenging yourfate? How do you know the difference?

There is no easy answer, since badthings happen to good people and injus-tice, intolerance, and prejudice still exist.Yet, so do love, tenderness, hope, andcompassion. Which will you choose toembrace and pass forward? Little acts ofrandom kindness can create huge wavesof positive change—waves capable ofwashing away misunderstanding or hate.

Such sweeping change is more thanjust a possibility—it is a global destiny

by Ernest D. Chu

AS A WALL ST. INVESTMENTbank executive, I dis-

covered the power of invest-ed capital to create market value. But asa life coach and spiritual teacher, I real-ized that the greatest resource is theinner wealth that lies within us—ourspiritual or inner qualities such asinsight, intuition, and vision. Learninghow to awaken and invest thisimmense inner wealth willenable you reach your goals,increase income, and finddeep personal fulfillment.

Do you judge yourself asnot being special enough, notbeing smart enough, or notknowing the right people orhaving what it takes? You aresitting on your own acres of diamonds,and you can either lament the cardsdealt to you or recognize that not onlyare you a diamond in the rough, butindeed you are sitting on a huge trea-sure trove of inner assets that can becorrelated to the material world.

You have many choices in how youcreate income. You likely spend mostof your waking time in work-relatedactivities. If you look at work as simplyan activity that generates a paycheck,you will have to find meaning in otherparts of your life. You don’t have towork in a non-profit company. Whatyou bring to your work, not just thework itself, contributes to the experi-ence. When you begin to value your-self and what you have to offer, you

will ultimately seek to share with theworld what is uniquely yours.

Come from StrengthsWhen I was growing up, I was

ashamed that I was short and lookeddifferent. But when I went to Wall St.,one of the hottest fund managers wasGerald Tsai, a Chinese American. I dis-covered that it was okay to be Chinese,and that there were a few advantages.I could walk into a crowded room, andmost people would remember me. I’dinherited a solid work ethic and couldtake in a huge amount of information,sort it out, and glean insights from it.

When you use your inner assets anddirect them with intention and focus,

you only need to add thesource energy of love to har-ness the spiritual capital. Thefeeling of love, the soul’s realcurrency, is more than a feel-ing of well-being—it is cre-ative, connective, andtransformative. When youinvest your spiritual capital,the ROI is not simply mone-

tary, but it opens up other possibilities.Soul currency investing is more pow-

erful than simply investing the symbolsthat represent money. Soul currency en-ables you to live from possibility ratherthan investing from fear and risk. Froman open heart, you can share and putyourself in the flow of material prosper-ity and the deep fulfillment and rightaction that love produces. The messageyou receive is one of greater connectionto others around, to the collective good,and to Spirit that brings you fulfillmentand a sense of greater purpose. PE

Ernest Chu is a finance expert, strategic advisor, pas-tor for the Religious Science church, and author ofSoul Currency (New World Library). Visitwww.SoulCurrency.org or 800-972-6657.

ACTION: Invest your inner wealth.

Soul CurrencyInvest your inner wealth.

by Kathrynand DannionBrinkley

WHY IS CHANGE SUCH A SCARY PROPO-sition to face? When change rears

its ugly head, we all tend to break outin a cold sweat and panic. We’re afraidthat if we’re not in charge of every detailof our lives, something will come alongand change it all without our permis-sion, leaving us dazed and confused.

Yet, if a miracle is merely a shift inperception, could we choose to see allchange as a choice we’ve made and anew road we’ve volunteered to travel?

Long before we arrived in this landof dreams and illusion, we created adestiny for ourselves—a life mission, asoul contract that we vowed to honor.So, might unforeseen, even dreadedchanges, be sacred patterns designed toaccent the highlights of our spiritualtapestry? Could these changes be goldenthreads intended to weave together ourdeepest fears with our most treasuredaspirations so that we can manifest ourtrue magnificence? Imagine how ourexperiences might be transformed, ifonly we viewed change as the spiritualcompass used to correct our course andalign us with our divine destiny.

Mahatma Ghandi instructed us to bethe change we want to see in the world. Ifwe want to be the change, we have tolearn to allow the change to be. We can’trun around trying to fix everyone, savethe world, and hold the space for galac-tic love and peace before we truly com-prehend the divine wisdom of allowinglife to unfold naturally through inspiredchange. Of course, this does not meanthat we can do whatever we please andsimply let the chips fall where theymay. We’ve got to walk the goldenmean, live with integrity, give morethan we get, love with an open heart,forgive, and love some more. Only thencan we trust that the changes we alloware the changes that are meant to be.

We refer to this realm as The FreeWill Zone. Every thought and emotionyou choose to put out into the spiritualethers will return to you in form. Yourinner thoughts and emotions will createa tangible reality. The outer landscapeof your life mirrors the intentions ofyour soul. As your thoughts and emo-

I N S P I R AT I O N A L • C H A N G E

Be the ChangeAnd allow change to be.

I N S P I R AT I O N A L • S O U L


SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE CONSISTENTLY DO THINGSfailures don’t like to do. They don’t neces-

sarily like doing those things either, but theyhave the discipline to do them anyway. Theytake difficult extra steps that few others take.

Who are these successful people deliveringgreat performances and what difficult things dothey do that make them so rare? Winners cre-ate a compelling vision that defines theirfutures clearly in terms of what winningmeans to them, and they decide what’s mostimportant now to achieve that future state.

That’s the easy part. What’s difficult isdoing what’s required to win.

To win consistently, take these three steps:1. Commit to a focused strategy. Commit

to a focused and sustainable strategy that willtake you toward an envisioned future. Theessence of strategy is choice. You can’t doeverything. You have to make choices dailyabout how you use your resources to createvalue. Do you focus your time, talent, andmoney on things that matter most, or do youspread your limited assets across all opportu-nities, diluting your resources and influence.

Many people are afraid to focus, worryingthat they might fail to do some good thing.This is why “good” is so often the enemy of“great.” This fear causes many to not chooseand to try to “do it all.” You need to defineand do what’s necessary to ensure a win.Not deciding puts you at the mercy of thedaily pressure, noises, urgencies, politics,and convenience. You must make strategicchoices, and your choices should be alignedwith a clearly defined purpose and vision.

2. Deploy performance mechanisms (a setof rules or a system that help you do whatyou know you need to do to get better—what you’ve committed to do—even when itis hard). Such mechanisms include suchthings as clearly defined goals, scoreboardsthat show short-term progress, and a rhythmof accountability around your scoreboards.These pull you out of the daily whirlwind soyou can make progress toward your goals.

3. Persist. One barrier to winning is a lackof persistence and patience. Consistent,focused effort enables breakthrough perfor-mance. The nature of the tasks doesn’tchange, but your capacity to do is increasedas you develop the discipline of winning.

You can overcome the tyranny of theurgent by using these three means. PE

Andy Cindrich is an expert in business execution. Call 801-766-4761 or email [email protected].

ACTION: Overcome the tyranny of the urgent.

New Year’s resolutionsusually evoke feelings ofguilt. Most verbs associat-ed with resolutions are

restrictive in nature (quit, stop,loose, reduce, or eliminate), implyingthat you need to improve, fix, orrepair something that’s broke orincomplete. So, you tend to seeNew Year’s resolutions as a diffi-cult exercise, requiring discipline,determination, and willpower. As aresult, you “make” the resolutionsJanuary 1, and begin to “break”them by February 1 as your com-mitment and enthusiasm wane.

This year, create New YearreVolutions—transformationalactions that energize and invigo-rate by the thought of “what’s pos-sible” and lead to breakthroughresults. A resolution is a solution,accommodation, or settling of aproblem; a revolution is a changein ways of thinking and behaving.

New Year’s reVolutions requireyou to decide what do you want tobe, as opposed to what do youneed to do. What accomplishmentsdo you want to be known for? Areyou on track to be that person? Ifnot, what steps can you take todayto help you get there tomorrow?

To keep inspired (vs. disci-plined) with your New Year’s rev-olutions, follow these 10 tips:

Goals are dreams with a dead-line. Dreams are all about “wantsand desires” with no commitment;goals are “concrete and defined”with commitment. Where do youwant to be and what do you wantto do? Imagine limitless opportu-nities and commit to achieve them.Write down three actionable goalsthat you can visualize and achieveby the end of 2009. Keep them infront of you so your daily actionslead to attaining these goals.

Positive attitude plus positiveactions equal positive results.Having a positive mental attitudeis a good start, but it is the positiveactions that follow that lead to suc-cess (vs. wanting, hoping, andwaiting for them to happen). Planhow you will achieve each goalwith mini-plans, mini-goals, andcorresponding dates for each.

Follow your passion. Commit

to doing more of what you enjoydoing, that invigorates and satis-fies you, and less of what you donot enjoy that leads to procrastina-tion and stress. Your chores areother people’s challenges.

Soar with your strengths.Spend more time on those projects,tasks, or activities that accentuateyour talents and natural gifts. Byfocusing on your strengths, you’llhave a higher self-esteem, be moreprofessionally fulfilled, and willultimately be far more successful.

Be organized. Start the year bydoing a total catharsis or cleansingof clutter. Go through every paperin every file with a goal to trash it,box it (future needs), or re-file it(near-term needs). Invest 20 min-utes each day in organizing.

Prioritize your to-do list. Havethree columns: “do it,” “delegateit,” or “scratch it.” Do more ofwhat brings you rewards and lessof what steals your time. Add wantto-do items, not just have-to-do tasks.

Compartmentalize your priori-ties. Once you decide on your pri-orities, focus on the tasks at hand—keeping distractions from dilut-ing your focus. It’s difficult to con-centrate on two or more projectsand do them well at the same time.

Change the way you see every-thing. By seeing opportunities vs.obstacles, challenges vs. chores,and by celebrating what youaccomplish vs. feeling bad aboutwhat you don’t, you increase yourenergy, improve your attitude, andraise your level of satisfaction.

Surround yourself with positivepeople. Good attitudes elevate youto new heights, but bad attitudesdrain energy, accelerate discontent,and destroy morale. Spend yourprecious time with people whowill support you, encourage you,and celebrate your success.

Reinvent yourself. Realize thatchange can be cathartic, energizing,and good. Shake things up everyonce in a while. Reinvent yourselfin your dress and surroundings.

Decide on what results you wantto achieve in 2009, and spend yourtime, energy, and focus to achieveyour New Year’s reVolutions.—Michael Guld, www.talkingbiz.net.

GOALGETTERSCharacter

Service

Physical

Mental

Career

FinancialSocial

PersonalCOACH


Discipline of WinningOvercome tyranny of the urgent.by Andy Cindrich

how unlikely it is that the dreams of myfamily could be realized today.

I don’t accept this future. We need toreclaim the American dream by puttingan end to the politics of polarizationand division that hold this countryback; standing up to lobbyists whostand in the way of progress; by tellingpeople not just what they want to hear,but what they need to know.

Americans want to come togetheragain behind a common purpose. Wewant to reclaim our American dreambecause in this country that dream isworth fighting for—not just for our-selves, but for each other. We need togive working families a break. The costof the American dream must never comeat the expense of the American family.

There was a lot of talk in the cam-

paign about the politics of hope. But thisdoesn’t mean hoping that things comeeasy. It’s a politics of believing in thingsunseen; of believing in what this countrymight be; and of standing up for thatbelief and fighting for it when it’s hard.

America is the sum of our dreams.And what binds us together, whatmakes us one American family, is thatwe stand up and fight for each other’sdreams, that we reaffirm the fundamen-tal belief—I am my brother’s keeper, Iam my sister’s keeper—through our pol-itics, our policies, and in our daily lives.It’s time to do that once more. It’s timeto reclaim the American dream. PE

Barack Obama is president of the United States ofAmerica. Visit www.BarackObama.com.

ACTION: Reclaim your dreams.

by Barack Obama

I HEAR A LOT ABOUT THE DIVI-sions in our country—how

we’re becoming more sepa-rated by geography and ideology; raceand religion; wealth and opportunity.But as I travel, I’m not struck by our dif-ferences—I’m impressed by the valuesand hopes that we share. We all share afaith in simple dreams. A job withwages that can support a family. Healthcare that we can count on and afford. Aretirement that is dignified and secure.Education and opportunity for our kids.Common hopes. American dreams.

These are the dreams that led me toChicago 22 years ago to become a com-munity organizer. The salary of $12,000a year wasn’t what my friends wouldmake in business or law. I didn’t knowa single person in Chicago. But I knewthere were folks who needed help. Thesteel plant had closed. Jobs were disap-pearing. In a forgotten corner of America,the American dream was slipping away.And dreams are worth fighting for.

What is unique about America is thatwe want these dreams for more thanourselves—we want them for eachother. That’s why we call it the Americandream. We want it for the kid who does-n’t go to college because she can’t affordit; for the worker whose wondering ifhis wages will pay this winter’s heatingbill; for 47 million Americans livingwithout health care; for the millionsmore who worry if they have enough toretire with the dignity they have earned.

When our fellow Americans aredenied the American dream, our owndreams are diminished. And today, thecost of that dream is rising faster thanever before. While some have prosperedbeyond imagination, middle-classAmericans—and those working hard tobecome middle class—are seeing theAmerican dream slip further away.

You know it from your own life. Youare working harder for less and payingmore for health care and college. For mostfolks, one income isn’t enough to raise afamily and send your kids to college.Sometimes, two incomes aren’t enough.It’s harder to save. It’s harder to retire.You’re doing your part, you’re meetingyour responsibilities, but it seems likeyou’re treading water or falling behind.As I see this every day, I’m reminded of

by Jamie Woolf

AFTER THE OLYMPIC GAMESI reflected on favorite

moments. I was dazzled bythe ceremonies, feats of athleticism,and displays of emotion evoked byvictory and defeat. Yet for me, themost moving moments involvedDebbie Phelps and her eight-gold-medal-winner son, Michael. Sincebecoming a mom, I couldn’t help butwonder: How does a parent nurture achild’s ability and motivationto achieve greatness?

We all want to raise confi-dent, hardworking, optimisticchildren who will succeed inlife. And who better to learnfrom than the parents whoinspired Olympic dreams?

Here are seven tips: Set a good example. Kids live what

they learn and learn what they see. Soif you want to raise a winner, be a win-ner. Set goals and work toward them.Practice good time management. Doyour work cheerfully and tirelessly. Letyour kids see how passionate you areabout what you do every day.

Seek out your child’s aptitudes, sub-tly. Watch for the early emergence oftalent and skills, but let them play anddevelop on their own rather thanenroll them in an array of classes andregimented activities. Your child’sunique gifts will show up. Then youcan add more intensive classes.

Don’t let kids give up. Encourageyour children to keep reaching fortheir goals—even when they’re sick ofpracticing or studying or working.Many kids believe that if something’snot immediately attainable, it must notbe worth the effort. Teach children thatperseverance eventually pays off, thattheir success depends on their abilityto bounce back and keep practicing.

Help your kids put their goals intoperspective. Remind your kids thatthey still need to be conscientious citi-zens and good siblings, and do theirchores and homework. In this way,you help them balance their lives.

Keep egos in check. Remind yourkids that they have no more (or less)inherent value than anyone else. Don’tallow their talent, luck, and hard work

to go to their heads. Keepthem humble. They’ll growup with a good attitude andbe more likeable.

Believe in your children.When they make mistakes,don’t be overly critical or con-demning. Debbie Phelps didnot give up on Michael (who

struggled with ADHD). She acceptedhis strengths and weaknesses, support-ed him, and believed in him.

Stress sportsmanship. Teach chil-dren to show respect and support forother people’s achievements. Avoidcatty comments and gossip, and insistthat your kids do the same. Make surethat they congratulate the victors.Teaching kids how to handle losseshelps them maintain perspective andmakes them gracious winners. PE

Jamie Woolf, founder of The Parent Leader andPinehurst Consulting, is author of Mom-in-Chief(Wiley). Visit mominchief.com or call 800-225-5945.

ACTION: Support your children wholeheartedly.

S E R V I C E • C I T I Z E N S H I P


Bring Home the GoldReflect on the service of moms.

Reclaim the DreamDo it for yourself and others.

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