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MARCH 19, 2014

The five regrets June 23, 2011 by Paulo Coelho

(One of my friends here sent me a link while commenting on “Insult the dead”. I checked it and I

stumbled upon a very interesting text by Bonnie Ware. Below a resumée: )

 

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. I waswith them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

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When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common

themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I ’d had th e courag e to live a life true to myself, not the life others exp ected

of me.

When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how

many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had to die knowing that it was due to choices they

had made, or not made.

From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize,

until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I d idn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending

so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

3. I wish I ’d h ad the courage to ex press my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled

for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many

developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was

not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they

had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving

friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are

dying.

5. I wish that I h ad let myself be ha ppier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice.

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They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed

into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to o thers,

and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and

have silliness in their life again.

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Comments

The five regrets « sharonshammah  says:

August 31, 2012 at 1:49 pm

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Nina Correas says:

May 29, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Hola Paulo,

me imagino que recibiras correos cada segundo del dia, asi que de ante mano se que serapracticamente imposible que leas todos tus correos…pero lo voy a intentar de todos los

115kLike

115,479 people like this. Be the first of your f riends.Like

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modos…quizas tenga suerte.

Estoy tratando de empezar mi tesis doctoral en literatura con la Universidad de Valencia. Desde

que lei por primera vez El Alquimista decidi que haria mi tesis sobre tu obra y por eso me

gustaria ponerme en contacto contigo. Mi correo es ninaracha@yahoo.com.

Si puedes dedicarme unos minutos de tu vida, te aseguro que me harias estar dando saltos de

alegria durante los proximos cien anos.

Sinceramente,

Nina Correas

nasudi says:

May 13, 2012 at 9:34 am

feelings and love-are the engines of this life

Gyaneshwar says:

May 11, 2012 at 6:53 pm

really true …

i we should realize these things as soon as possible if we really want to enjoy

our life

Letizia says:

May 9, 2012 at 8:34 am

I would have regret number 3:

I wish I ’d had the courage to express my feelings.

mrm says:

May 8, 2012 at 7:55 am

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archi baranwal says:

May 7, 2012 at 5:48 pm

how well m i able to connect.. :)

Ibti says:May 7, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Dear Paulo, I believe that Life is a destiny, but Happiness is a cho ice– the wisest of all choices;

”wiseness” is not a way, but it is the only way which leads to live in peace… Thank you for the

meaningful story, and allow me to add one of your best sayings. “Live with no regrets, and love

with no excuses.” (Aleph)

Life is transient, and those few words are more than enough for life………

Much luv!

Christiane Tsouo-Harvey says:

May 7, 2012 at 3:11 pm

I am working on those 5 points every day and I am getting ready to d ie when it’s my time……

Someone said “your whole life you learn out to die”

Nada says:

May 7, 2012 at 7:04 am

Lana del rey reminds me of your books, they work in harmony together. especially “born to die”

wi “Brida”. Up until now I read 4 o f your books, starting the 5 and I’m planning to read the rest

of them.

Thank you for you wise words, Books make you forget about life, but yours is one of a kinds, its

a mixture of reality, Cultures , I nformation and Imagination.

I am a painter bdw, so Also your books go in harmony with my own themes.

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Raquel says:

May 6, 2012 at 12:41 pm

La felicidad parece una opción cuando se tiene todo. Cuando se vive en un mundo de

sombras no hay opción. Las tormentas te arrastras como si fueras un maniquí. La energía del

universo te jala a un polo mientras que la negra te ata al dolor. Aquí radica la posibilidad deutilizar tus poderes para salir del ocaso y convertirte en sol. Es una batalla difícil de lograr pero

no imposible, a seguir caminando por los bosques de la vida.

 Ju lia sa ys :

May 6, 2012 at 8:16 am

I think it is not too late for all of us who read that article :) Let’s learn from mistakes of others

Andrea Wycisk says:

May 5, 2012 at 8:22 pm

My comments expressed on this in my picture:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?

fbid=183242908463774&set=a.176002545854477.36547.111798882274844&type=3&theater

Lily says:

May 5, 2012 at 7:47 pm

it´s true, really i apreciate all the publications of coelho, ´cause this help to me in moments

that i feel confusion, “the warrior of ligth” is one of books that i love so much.

i want to know about more reflections!!!

thak you

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Muhammad Kamran says:

May 5, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Really true. I am living my life according to my wishes uptill now and by tha grace of Allah, I will

live the rest like it. Be happy

Arto Hutto says:

May 5, 2012 at 2:59 pm

In Swedish:

Om du dör imorgon: kommer du dö i frid?

Här är 5 klassiska ånger…

1. Jag önskar jag haft mod att leva ett liv sant för mig själv, inte ett liv andra förväntade sig avmig.

2. Jag önskar jag inte arbetat så hårt.

3. Jag önskar jag haft modet att uttrycka mina känslor.

4. Jag önskar jag hållit kontakten med mina vänner.

5. Jag önskar jag hade låtit mig själv vara lyckligare.

http://www.facebook.com/PauloCoelhoSverige

farve s ays:

May 5, 2012 at 1:31 pm

yeah u’r right…i think i must rock my world :)

Branka says:

May 5, 2012 at 9:17 am

All I’ve done 1 to 4

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I regret that I did not fully 5

I always did what I wanted and loved, I did not care for gossip and criticism (f not helpful)

I am working hard but I left that job because I had no life, I gave birth and I am unemployed

and I am happy

alwAll the friends I have lost the war (we were in contact) I found through facebook and I was

happy, there are still few that I have seen and heard

But … I was always striving to better and bigger because I was not too happy that I enjoyed

rather than in what God has given me … now I try to straightenays express their feelingswhatever it may be, love, fear all

CATHAL BYRNE says:

May 5, 2012 at 9:09 am

I CAN’T SAY THAT I HAVE NO REGRETS BUT THE FIVE LISTED ARE NOT AMONG MINE AND I

KNOW THAT THAT MAKES ME A VERY LUCKY MAN.

I FEEL THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE I KNOW WILL REGRET NOT DOING OR TRYING THINGS AND YET I

AM OCCASIONALLY CASTIGATED BY THESE SAME PEOPLE FOR THE LIFE I LIVE.

LIFE IS THE MOST PRECIOUS GIFT WE HAVE AND TO MY MIND, THE GREATEST SIN AGAINST

GOD AND AGAINST OURSELVES IS TO NOT LIVE IT TO THE MOST.

GOOD LUCK !!!

 Also pos t on Facebook   Posting as Ravi Khandelwal (Not you?)   Comment

 Add a comment...

OtiliaCoelho · London, United Kingdom

One life... Thats all we get... Live and let live.

Reply · Like · · Follow Post · February 6 at 1:03am3

Daniel Mansour 

I recently finished making a docum entary about this very subject. It's called The FinalWord, such an enlightening/amazing experience. Here is a link to the trailer if you'rekeen to check it out...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PvxsXI94lkReply · Like · · Follow Post · Edited · February 4 at 4:19am2

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Julie Ray · Brand Partner  at Nerium International

Just watched your trailer ... beautiful. Where will this be shown?

Reply · Like · February 12 at 6:59am

Daniel Mansour 

Julie Ray Thanks for checking the trailer out Julie! I'm very proud of the film. Ithas s creened here in Australia and now we are looking at the festival circuitinter nationally. Hopefully it'll be on international screens soon. The morepeople we can get it out to the better so please feel free to share it witheveryone!

Reply · Like · February 13 at 7:42am

Julie Ray · Brand Partner  at Nerium International

OK, I've pos ted it on m y page. Every little bit helps :)

Reply · Like · · February 13 at 8:00am1

Rosanna Manalo

 Am a lover of your books...i've realized signi ficant less ons today. I am guilty of number 1

and 3 but not too late for me to change regrets into happiness ---break the chain andtake the chance to be happy:))

Reply · Like · · Follow Post · February 4 at 2:46pm1

Badoiu Valentin · · Timișoara, Romania

Even if you do all the above, you still have regrets. So, i think in the end it's best to live thelife :)

Reply · Like · · Follow Post · February 4 at 12:25am

Follow

1

Grs Murthy · Works at LIC OF INDIA

i am fine on 2 , 4, and 5.. have to get to 1 and 3Reply · Like · · Follow Post · February 5 at 10:46am1

Eviano George · Adminis trator  at Zinovi Educational Foundation

Word!

Reply · Like · · Follow Post · February 4 at 1:29pm1

Eviano George · Adminis trator  at Zinovi Educational Foundation

Marguerite Cam ara Moni Oloke

Reply · Like · February 4 at 1:29pm

Moni Oloke · Southern New Hampshire University

 

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  ...

Reply · Like · February 5 at 11:23am

DjandSally Alverson · Arroyo High

#3 hit home for me (Sally), as I am s ure it does many of us-

Reply · Like · Follow Post · February 10 at 1:51am

Raul Montesa · Works at MODEC International, Inc.

Easy for them to say for they have reached their final destination. What stops us fromdoing what we want to do is the fear of the unknown. We always want to do things on asafe side for us to live longer.

Reply · Like · Follow Post · February 5 at 1:23am

Larysa Karpovych · Ukraine

I think that really interesting what conclusion people m ake when their life almos t comingto end.

Reply · Like · Follow Post · February 5 at 2:46am

Subhash Ravikanth Seela · Hyderabad, Andhra Prades h

Thank you. The regrets are always of things not done and decisions taken away fromones own self...

Reply · Like · Follow Post · February 4 at 7:55am

Joaquin Salvador Molina Saavedra

I wish I had known.

Reply · Like · Follow Post · February 5 at 9:53pm

Nikita Goel · · Writer  at Blogger 

Very Enlightening !

Reply · Like · Follow Post · February 4 at 1:03am

Follow

Milad Mas · Works at Photography on Facebook

GOD IS THE AVENGER

Reply · Like · Follow Post · February 4 at 3:46am

Kamar Cheval · · Top Comm enter · Works at Shabi's

WILL TRY

Reply · Like · Follow Post · February 4 at 12:29am

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Priyankush Jain · · Works at Private Practise

s im l ur's ....

Follow

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Reply · Like · Follow Post · December 16, 2012 at 7:48am

Ingrid Perk · Selecta, kweek A

o soo good.

Reply · Like · Follow Post · November 22, 2012 at 4:14am

Κρις Αβελλα · Top Comm enter · Moscow, Russia

You have always a chance to do what you really have as a tought. So if you want to dosom ething. Just do it. And think of it. For actions are toughts in motion. Keep m ovingforward on the right direction. The wrong direction will s how you the right one.

Reply · Like · · Follow Post · February 4 at 12:34am1

Maria Angelica Espinoza Rojas · Top Comm enter · IEEM

no s e que decir.-lo interpreto como una eleccion de vida.ENCONTRE COBARDE A LAGIRAFA,,,SI ESTOY EQUICOCADA ACEPTA MI IGNORANCIA,.creo que mucho de loosados que som os s e debe al exito..- siem pre .-llevo una frase y es.- quien no searriesga no cruza el rio. jajajaja no deseo ponerme tragica...pesada ni nada que s eparesca.- Soy una persona que recorre el mundo ...que me gus ta el idiomaPortugues...frances e italiano y nada aca es toy trabajando y diciendo lo que s iento sin

saber porque. los quiero m ucho a uds y a todo el mundo tierra.- Soy ......UNA SIMPLEPERSONA.. GRACIAS...GRACIAS POR TODO. ESPERO SEGUIR LEYENDO A PABLO

Reply · Like · Follow Post · February 4 at 12:44am

Margarita Contreras · San Carlos, Chile

LA MUERTE ,MORIRNOS NOS ATERRA SI PENSÁRAMOS QUE LA VIDA ES SOLO UNAILUSIÓN QUE SOLO SABEMOS VIVIR EN EL MUNDO FÍSICO , SI APRENDIÉRAMOS AVIVIR EN EL PRESENTE DANDO EN TODO Y PARA TODO SI ESCUCHÁRAMOS CONNUESTROS CINCO SENTIDOS AL OTRO YA ESTARÍAMOS DANDO EL SOLO HECHODE COMPRAR UNA NECESIDAD NUESTRA CON EL DINERO QUE ENTREGAMOS YAESTAMOS DANDO AL OTRO QUE LO NECESITA EL DINERO FLUYE SOLO TENEMOSQUE HACERLO CON AMOR NO CON EL EGOÍSMO DE COMPRAR LO QUENECESITAMOS TODO ES DAR SI PUSIÉRAMOS ATENCIÓN A LAS QUEJAS ODOLENCIAS DE NUESTRO CUERPO ESTARÍAMOS ATENDIENDO A NUESTRASVERDADERAS NECESIDADES DIOS NOS CREO CON AMOR Y ENERGÍA QUE FLUYE

 APRENDAMOS A OBSERVAR CON EL TERCER OJO QUE ES EL DE LA SABIDURÍA YESPERAREMOS LA MUERTE DICIENDO VIDA NADA TE DEBO VIDA NADA ME DEBES

Reply · Like · Follow Post · February 4 at 1:25am

Beatriz Vzla

Uff! Perfecto! Totalmente de acuerdo!

Reply · Like · Follow Post · February 4 at 12:34am

Adriana Campos · Top Comm enter 

There was a time I lived the life others expected of me, but not anymore. Thank God I

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 broke my chains and the feeling I get at realizing this is crystal clear joy.

Reply · Like · Follow Post · February 4 at 4:58am