JANUARY 2011 www.hospiceheart.org

DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO MIGHT BENEFIT

FROM HOSPICE SERVICES?

Hospice services are covered 100% by Medicare and most

insurers. If you feel that hospice care might be appropriate for you

or someone you love, call 578-6300 for a consultation.

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die.

Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back

clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard. This came from every male patient

that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by

creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until

their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

By Bronnie Ware

Top five regrets of the dying

Continued on page 2

Community Hospice

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Helping Hands...Healing Hearts

Cathy Tuxson, ChairJanice Lucero, Vice Chair

Gary Ervin, TreasurerLeslie Kalim McHugh, Secretary

James A. Cogdill, Past ChairClarence Abid

Sally Cofer-LindbergRoni EdgmonVern FergelDon Gaekle

Michael C. HerreroSteve Luna

Garrad MarshMeryl SniderJon Tremayne

Ross W. Lee, ChairColleen Preston, RRT, RN, Vice Chair

Dennis M. Litos, SecretarySteve Mitchell, Treasurer

Jeffrey P. Cowan, Past ChairDavid Adkins, MD

Vicki L. BaumanRoni Edgmon

Jonathan FeltonJ. D. Grothe

Nancy J. HoughtonSue Hudgens

Lawrence Podlsky, MDRichard W. Robinson

Cathy TuxsonTom Van Groningen

Harold A. Peterson III, Pres./CEOCarolynn Peterson, RN, MS, AOCN, COO

Community HospiceBoard of Directors

Community HospiceFoundation

Board of Directors

The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO),

the professional association for hospice providers around the nation, recently released its 2010 Annual Report. In reviewing the statistics presented within the report, it was edifying in many ways to reinforce what we at Community Hospice already know – the provision of quality hospice services to local community members in need of our care remains on par or ahead of the national curve.

In 2010, there were 2,450,000 deaths in the United States. Hospice organizations provided services to 1,020,000 patients in that same year, making the national reach over 40 precent. Locally, Community Hospice provided our care to 1,373 patients, continuing to expand the number of lives we touch and families we serve.

The median total number of days that a hospice patient receives care (typically referred to as “length of service”) slightly decreased in 2010, to 21.1 days. That means that half of hospice patients nationally received care for less than three weeks and half received care for more than three weeks. At Community Hospice, our median length of stay was only 14 days, a decrease from 15.25 days in the prior twelve month period.

The trend towards shorter lengths of stay for hospice patients on a national scale and locally is evident in many other statistics compiled by NHPCO as well as Community Hospice. What is startling is while these trends continue, more studies are being published in the medical community that point to the fact that hospice services actually prolong life.

While the idea of hospice extending life may seem

Continued from page 1

Record number of patients receive care

Top five regrets of the dying

ironic to most, in a 2007 study published by the Journal of Pain Management, the mean survival was 29 days longer for hospice patients than for non-hospice patients. In a 2010 study published by the New England Journal of Medicine, lung cancer patients receiving early palliative care lived 23.3 percent longer than those who delayed treatment. The study authors hypothesized that “with earlier referral to a hospice program, patients may receive care that results in better management of symptoms, leading to stabilization of their condition and prolonged survival.”

It’s gratifying to witness scientific evidence coming from the heart of medical academia and from renowned researchers, that bolsters that fact that hospice services can indeed stabilize some patients. We have heard time and again from many of the families that we serve, that “mom got better for awhile” and was able to enjoy one last Christmas, or one last Mother’s day, or celebrate one more birthday, thanks to our sophisticated pain management interventions, emotional and spiritual support, in-home services such as the bathing and grooming provided, and overall psychosocial support for the whole family. �

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Bronnie Ware is a writer and singer/songwriter from Australia. To learn more about her work or to read other inspiring articles, please visit her official site www.bronnieware.com. �

Harold A. Peterson III, President/CEO

Continued from page 1

Community HospiceHelping Hands...Healing Hearts

Since joining Community Hospice in early December, I

have experienced the beat of the infamous hospice heart that is so symbolic of hospice organizations. As the new Executive Director of the Community Hospice Foundation, I have seen firsthand the incredible work of the compassionate staff members who arrive every day determined to provide dignity and grace to our gravely ill patients.

The hospice heart beats in many ways, and I have witnessed some examples that I would like to share with you:

The hospice heart beats when a caring nurse gently caresses the cheek of a dying patient as they listen closely to the profound wisdom of understanding living and dying.

The hospice heart beats when the staff warmly embraces family members and reassures them that they are doing a wonderful job providing care to their loved one.

The hospice heart beats when a chaplain honors the faith tradition of patients and families in end of life planning.

The hospice heart beats

Lynis Chaffey, Executive DirectorCommunity Hospice Founation

The Beat of the Hospice Heart

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finity

247 N. Broadway Turlock

634-5829 www.allenmortuary.com

Bringing loved ones even closer.Imagine being able to create a custom tribute for a loved one, viewable by anyone at any time, in the privacy of their own home. With our online Memorial Obituary and Tribute Program, you can. We give you the power of technology so you can share your thoughts, hopes, prayers and condolences no matter where you are. It’s just one more way we try to help you turn the sorrow of loss into the celebration of a life lived.

Are you caring for an aging loved one? Join us for our free presentations over lunch or in the evening – and ask about our complimentary caregiver

toolkit – a complete resource guide!

Wed., January 26, 6:30 p.m.Modesto Library Auditorium

1500 I Street, Modesto

Tues., January 25, 12:00 p.m.Community Hospice

4368 Spyres Way, Modesto

January topic:

Wills, Trusts, Durable Power of Attorney: Possibilities & Pitfalls

What does Durable Power of Attorney mean? Understand new estate tax laws and how they impact you and your loved ones.

Wed., February 23, 6:30 p.m.Modesto Library Auditorium

1500 I Street, Modesto

Tues., February 22, 12:00 p.m.Community Hospice

4368 Spyres Way, Modesto

February topic:

Accompanying a Loved One to the Doctor’s Office

Learn how to support a loved one at their visit to the doctor’s office, including privacy issues, caregiver roles and patient rights.

“Tuition” is free! For a full 2010 class schedule, call

Community Hospice at 578.6300.

when home health aides bathe and groom our patients lovingly and with respect.

The hospice heart beats as the door bell rings to signal the arrival of much needed medical equipment from Community Hospice.

The hospice heart beats as social workers coordinate food, public utility support and Christmas gifts for the families while supporting them in their grief process.

The hospice heart beats when 400 family members gather to honor and remember the passing of their loved ones during the

most difficult time of the year: the holidays.

The hospice heart beats as the Friends of Hospice work to raise community awareness and critically needed funding for charity care, children’s services and bereavement programs.

The hospice heart beats as donors share their gratitude for their hospice support by sharing their generosity with us.

The hospice heart continues to beat because of you, and many like you, who are so generous with your time, talent and treasure. �

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For additional copies, please call 578.6301 or email heart@hospiceheart.org.

Calendar of Events

For information regarding these events, please call 578-6300.

January 25 & 26 Caregiver College Topic: Wills, Trusts, Durable Power of Attorney: Possibilities & Pitfalls

February 22 & 23 Caregiver College Topic: Accompanying a Loved One to the Doctor’s Office

February 23 Friends of Hospice Card Party

March 22 & 23 Caregiver College Topic: Caring for a Loved One with Dementia/Alzheimer’s

March 24 Clinical Education Bioethics Dinner

April 26 & 27 Caregiver College Topic: Steering Through Transportation Options for Seniors

May 14 Community Hospice Foundation Gala

Losing someone you love can be very painful with difficult and surprising emotions involved. Community Hospice bereavement staff come alongside those who have lost a

loved one by providing education, support and resources.

There are ways to cope.

Our bereavement and grief support is available free of charge to the entire community. We can help in the following ways:

• Individual bereavement support• Grief support groups (for adults, teens and children, by type of loss)• Education and resource materials• Telephone support

Call the Support Services Department at 578-6378 for more information.

Bereavement Support

The Friends of Hospice capped the year off with two fundraising events in December 2010 – the inaugural Fantasy of Trees cocktail reception and tree auction and the 25th annual Light Up a Life Holiday Tree lighting ceremony and reception. A special thanks to the sponsors, tree designers, donors and community members for their support of the Community Hospice mission and for making these events a success.

HOLIDAY EVENTS IN REVIEW

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For additional copies, please call 578.6301 or email heart@hospiceheart.org.

NonprofitOrganization

U.S. Postage Paid Modesto, CA

Permit No. 299

For additional copies, please call 578.6301 or email heart@hospiceheart.org.

Calendar of Events

For information regarding these events, please call 578-6300.

January 25 & 26 Caregiver College Topic: Wills, Trusts, Durable Power of Attorney: Possibilities & Pitfalls

February 22 & 23 Caregiver College Topic: Accompanying a Loved One to the Doctor’s Office

February 23 Friends of Hospice Card Party

March 22 & 23 Caregiver College Topic: Caring for a Loved One with Dementia/Alzheimer’s

March 24 Clinical Education Bioethics Dinner

April 26 & 27 Caregiver College Topic: Steering Through Transportation Options for Seniors

May 14 Community Hospice Foundation Gala

Losing someone you love can be very painful with difficult and surprising emotions involved. Community Hospice bereavement staff come alongside those who have lost a

loved one by providing education, support and resources.

There are ways to cope.

Our bereavement and grief support is available free of charge to the entire community. We can help in the following ways:

• Individual bereavement support• Grief support groups (for adults, teens and children, by type of loss)• Education and resource materials• Telephone support

Call the Support Services Department at 578-6378 for more information.

Bereavement Support

4368 Spyres WayModesto, CA 95356-9259

LV26027