play sample

7/28/2019 Play Sample

1/10

1

CHARACTERS

DANCER

AFTERPARTYs only dancer is a 24hr dancer. He is extremely buff.

He is sexless, wearing a unitard and draped in various

subculture or historical fabrics (EX: Victorian attire, Adidas).

Dancer has powerful stage presence, prima-ballerina energy.

While he dances, he looks like he is simultaneously having the

best work out of his life.

LITTLE GIRL WITH A FETISH

Shes running on a treadmill with a big t-shirt that says

Little girl with a fetish (this is all she wears). She gets

progressively more exhausted as she delivers her lines. She

starts at 0mph and goes up to 6mph by Act 6.

SALLY, SUSAN, SARAH

Sometimes more female, sometimes more male. Stand in a triad and

dab makeup/snap pictures/etc. of each other. They are engaged in

frenetic preparatory activity, but they never seem to finish

preparing. X, Y, and Z are all eccentric in appearance but

frivolous.

BIG BOOMING VOICE

Omniscient and digitally distorted to about 20Hz.

WHISPERER

Talks with lips close to camera, so teeth are highly animated

and up front. The sssss is harsh, uncomfortable. You can hear

the mucus slapping between lips and teeth.

AUDIENCE

Dressed all in black, basically just silhouettes. They barely

move, though at times they check their various smart phones.


2/10

2

SETTINGS

AFTERPARTY

A strip joint in a bunker. There is a stage, a single pole, and

a giant clock on the wall that only has six marks. Non-spinning

disco balls are hanging haphazardly in nooks and crannies and

from the ceiling.

BATHROOM

A womens bathroom, very fluorescent. There are 3 stalls and 3

sinks. On the counter theres a collection of furs and exotic-

looking/useless objects. Theres a large mirror. On the counter

is a large handbag with all the props.

TREADMILL ROOM

A single, bare, yellow-lit room with a treadmill.


3/10

3

ACT 2

INT: AFTERPARTY

The clock chimes twice. The DANCER is stripping. The Victorian

attire goes. He is growing more and more ambiguous as a form,

more modern, more abstract.

BIG BOOMING VOICE

There is

(Fades)

INT: BATHROOM

SALLY

You guys are scary. You guys break

everything. Sometimes I dont see the glass

and I end up having to get six stitches.

(takes a kleenex and blows nose) On cue,

play the violin, please.

SUSAN

Are you in distress?

SARAH

Do you feel skinless?

SUSANShould we touch you?

SARAH

Should we seduce you?

SUSAN

Should we tie you up?

SARAH

HA HA HA

SUSAN

HE HE HE

SARAH

HO HO HO


4/10

4

SUSAN hands SALLY the bag. SALLY takes out his iPhone and starts

blasting music. He begins doing squats on the floor.

SALLY

(repeats)

ENDORPHINS

SUSAN starts humping SALLY.

SUSAN

(repeats)

OXYTOCIN

SARAH clambers on top of SALLY and SUSAN.

SARAH

(repeats)

DOPAMINE

SALLY

GUYS GUYS QUIET

SALLY rings out gun-looking object and shoots both of them,

SARAH & SUSAN fall anticlimactically on the floor, SALLY then

walks over to a huge crank that says Cats have9 lives and

pulls it up.

SALLY

Reset the counter.

SUSAN

(pops up)

VITAMIN E

SARAH

(pops up)

GINGER ALE

SALLY

(turns and gives a winning smile)TASTES SO FRESH

(Fades)

INT: TREADMILL ROOM


5/10

5

A LITTLE GIRL WITH A FETISH pushes the up button on her

treadmill so that it goes to 2MPH.

A LITTLE GIRL WITH A FETISH

I will not fall. You cant force me. Call me

a spoiled little fucker, but I revel in

spoliation and its the only thing that gets

me going. Spoil spoil sweaty w/ Spoil,

Succulent spoil. Something hidden between

two mounds. Ooo you looked, how spoiled!

Stay in the fridge. Dont peek, or youll

spoil. I wash myself with spoil. I scrub

with spoil. I devastate with spoil.

(Fades)

INT: BATHROOM

SALLY, SUSAN, and SARAH are all sitting in a circle and holding

hands.

SALLY

You dont have to be high to come down, you

know

SUSAN

Yeah. You dont have to go anywhere to get

somewhere, you know.

SARAH

And you dont have to live in order to die,

you know.

Outside, it sounds like the wind is blowing a million miles per

minute. SARAH, SALLY, and SUSAN all shut up and cower to the

whistling above them. They look up and point at each other and

look frightened.

SALLY

Was that God?

SARAH

Dont be obscene.

SUSAN

Absurd.


6/10

6

SARAH

Someones idea of a joke.

SALLY

Whats fat and shiny?

(buzzer sound)

SALLY

Was that God?

SARAH

Dont be obscene.

SUSAN

Absurd.

SARAH


SALLY

Whats pink and obvious?

(buzzer sound)

SALLY

Was that God?

SARAH

Dont be obscene.

SUSAN

Absurd.

SARAH


SALLY

Whats pale and ironic?

(buzzer sound)

SALLY

Was that God?

SARAH


7/10

7

Dont be obscene.

SUSAN

Absurd.

SARAH


SALLY

If you rewind God, what do you get?

(buzzer sound)

SUSAN

What is Gods velocity in free-fall?

(buzzer sound)

SARAH

How long does it take to become Godly?

(buzzer sound)

(Fades)

INT: TREADMILL ROOM

A LITTLE GIRL WITH A FETISH walks very slowly at 2MPH.


This bullshit has gone on long enough.

Reincarnation in the form of torture. After

I kill myself, I have to come back and do it

all over again.

(Fades)

INT: BATHROOM

SALLY, SUSAN, and SARAH are still sitting in a circle.They have their heads buried in their laps.

SALLY

Somewhere, a mans in love with his phantom.

SUSAN

Somewhere, a womans in love with her canal.


8/10

8

SARAH

Somewhere, a fathers in love with a map.

SARAH

Somewhere, a little girls in love with a

fetish.

(Fades)

INT: TREADMILL ROOM




I am so mad. Oh I am so mad. I could kill.

Overtouchy and fearfilled. Coco-Pressure. I

thought Id be polite, you know, and ask her

what it meant. The meaning of life. WHAT-

A-CUNT. I am indiscriminate rage. I want to

vomit your brain and trace its patterns on

my body. I want to make a rope in the shape

of your double-helix and hang you with it. I

want to shove your femur up your ass. There

will be no novacaine. Anaesthesia is for

pussies. My pussy is numb, so I relax before

climax. How many different ways can I say

this. GO AWAY.(Fades)

INT: AFTERPARTY

DANCER continues to tease and strip. More AUDIENCE has arrived.

They get closer to the stage.

WHISPERER:

There is?

(Fades)


9/10

9

ACT 3

INT: AFTERPARTY

The clock chimes three times. DANCER switches styles frequently:

at times classical, at times contemporary, at times nonsensical,

at times formulaic. He is forever shifting. His face is

unreadable.

BIG BOOMING VOICE:

There is nothing

(Fades)

INT: BATHROOM

SUSAN, SALLY, and SARAH snap pictures of each other while

shouting.

SALLY

DEMAND

SUSAN

DISGUST

SARAH

DIAMOND!

SALLYTheres something erotic about having two

pennies drowning in a pool.

SUSAN

Well of course, they get to rust together.

SARAH

(sighs)

What could be more romantic?

SUSANEating cheese is a lonely thing.

SARAH

You can go to bed a character and wake up as

nothing.

SUSAN


10/10

10

Then you spend the day rebuilding.

SALLY

How long does it take to build character?

SARAH

Depends on the day.

SALLY, SUSAN, and SARAH are holding white eraseboards. A game

buzzer, the same one as earlier, sounds. They lift their boards

up one at a time. Each board has a smilie face drawn on it.

(Fades)

INT: TREADMILL ROOM




Self-inhabitate!!! Im gonna fuck the

apocalypse away. When I am young, I will

find my epileptic self having a seizure in

the bedroom next door. I will be the only

other person home. I will convince myself

that I will be alright (Ive always been ok

before) and go back to playing with myself.

When I am older, I will come home and findme dead in my room. I will lie and say I

dont know what the noises were, that I

thought I had been playing a game.

(Fades)

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