pocketful of dough master - jack aubrey

8/14/2019 Pocketful of Dough Master - Jack Aubrey

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Title: Pocketful of DoughAuthor: TaffeyRating: PGMovie Character: Jack Aubrey, “Master & Commander: The Far Side of the World”Disclaimer: The following story has been written with no intention of claiming

ownership or solicitation, nor does the author claim the movie character(s) as his/her own. The movie character(s) have been borrowed solely out of a love of the particular

movie and is not intended for any other purpose but amusement and entertainment.

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Once more, Lt. Jack Aubrey found himself where he dearly hated being—on land. Only

when in the presence of Miss Catherine Parker could he relax enough to enjoy his shoretime. She always made bearable the embarrassment he inevitably found himself in.

Tonight he was at a dinner party being held at the Denny House. It was one of thoseostentatious places with glass chandeliers, crystal glassware, and, much to Jack’s

annoyance, eight eating utensils to wrestle with. He could never understand why one

needed three forks, three spoons, and two knives. He got along fine on his ship with oneknife and one hand. It was uncivilized to expect a man of the sea to cater to every whim

of protocol.

Jack felt unusually grumpy because the lovely and kind-hearted Catherine Parker wasn’t

at the party. He suffered through these invitations just to see her.

And, if he wasn’t cross enough, his friend, Stephen Maturin, was late. At least if Stephensat nearby, he could curb Jack’s urge to blurt things out. Stephen always knew when

Jack’s foot was cutting a quick path to his mouth. He also tolerated Jack’s “bad” jokes

and butchered sayings. It’s not that Jack was willfully clumsy. When he envisioned hisconversation, it seemed just fine. But, somehow, once the words escaped his lips, they

sailed an uncharted course to shipwreck.

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Jack got up from the table and proceeded to the long entryway hoping to see Stephen in

the large coat room. He was fighting a fierce headache and felt his mood growing fouler.Just then he saw someone come through the door that he definitely didn’t want to speak

to. Miss Candice Appleby was a chattering silly and always cornered him. In his present

frame of mind, there was no telling what he’d say; so he ducked in the coat room and hid behind a line of capes and coats.

From behind the garments, he heard Miss Appleby’s shrill voice pass through the lobby.He was about to extricate himself from the coats when he heard booted footsteps of

authority enter the large coat room. Jack held his breath waiting. The footsteps came his

way and stopped in front of him. Jack attempted to flatten his 6’2” frame against the

wall, but a hand reached up and parted the capes. It was Adm. Randall Parker.

“Good evening, sir,” a red-faced Jack said, swallowing hard.

“Lt. Aubrey.” Adm. Parker looked at Jack with narrowing eyes, waiting for anexplanation.

“Ah-sir, I was looking for--.” What could he possibly be searching for between a group

of outer garments? Worse yet, what if the Admiral thought he was stealing. “I was, ah

—“

“Yes, Lt. Aubrey?”

“Ah, I was actually hiding from someone,” he admitted. “You know how embarrassing Ican be? A person of importance was approaching and I knew they’d engage me in

conversation and I’d end up insulting them and their parents and--.” It was no use. He

had not only made a fool out of himself, but he’d done it in front of Catherine’s father.Jack hung his head and quickly exited the coat room.

Before he reached the door, he recognized a coat hanging to his right. It was Stephen’sfur coat. Stephen had a decent income and no responsibilities. He had no vices eating

away at his money. Why he didn’t dress appropriately was beyond Jack. He put the most

mismatched and scruffy garments together. Usually Jack overlooked the problem, as

Stephen was his friend. Given the circumstances of tonight though-- not seeingCatherine, having just posed as an idiot for her father, plus the knowledge that at some

point he was going to have to listen to Miss Appleby’s nonsense, Jack felt hurt that

Stephen was here and chose to be entertained by someone else.

Jack returned to his table and sulked. He felt restless and couldn’t seem to sit still.

Finally dinner was being served! Much to his dismay, it was broiled steak. He wasn’tthat fond of beef, but broiling it took all the life out of the meat. It was served with

dumplings and turnips. Jack groaned. It was as though everyone was purposely trying

to aggravate him tonight. Where was the fish? Couldn’t someone have requested pork?

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Then he saw them approaching his table—Miss Appleby and her escort. Poor bloke must

be deaf by now, Jack thought. Every muscle in his body told him that he should run. But

he just sat there, as if glued to his seat, his torture sealed.

“Oh, Lt. Aubrey! How nice to see you. How are you? You look good. I’m fine. I was

sick last week.”

“Nothing fatal, I see,” Jack noted dryly. Miss Appleby cackled joyously, much to Jack’s

chagrin.

“Oh, Lt. Aubrey, you say the funniest things.” But Jack wasn’t laughing. Suddenly he

saw Stephen about five tables away. He tried to bore holes in Stephen’s skull with his

deep blue eyes; but Stephen was busy conversing with a beautiful blonde. Apparentlyshe didn’t mind his less-than-white shirt, half hanging out of his pants. “I was only sick

for a week,” Candice continued on.

“Too bad,” Jack grumbled. “Miss Appleby, I wouldn’t want you to be eating a colddinner,” he said tersely, hoping her table was an ocean away from his table.

“I ate already. That was very considerate of you to care.” Jack glanced over to where

Stephen had been standing; but he had moved. “Did you know my sister is going to

Spain? She’s only 16, but my father says she’s old enough. She hates traveling though.

She likes being at her destination, but not getting there. She wants to take her cat--.” Onand on it went. Candice Appleby managed to keep her lips moving for another twenty

minutes non-stop. Finally he could take no more—he had to choke her.

“Oh-h-h!” she suddenly yelled out in Jack’s ear. “It’s Lady Elgar.” With that, she was up

and on the move after the retreating Lady Elgar. However, she didn’t clear the table

before imposing her full 300 pounds on Jack’s foot.

Once she left, Jack was alone with a plate of bland meat and cold dumplings. Stephen

was nowhere to be found and Jack felt neglected. Between his splitting head, throbbingfoot, and his hurt feelings, he decided to teach Stephen a lesson.

Jack piled two lumpy, cold dumplings into a napkin and headed to the coat room. There

he slipped them into the pocket of Stephen’s fur coat—minus the napkin.

As he made his way back to the table, a smile of devilish proportions lit up his face. He

sat there satisfied and pleased. After about ten minutes, something began to nudge hisconscience. Jack tried to push the feeling away.

Then Jack saw Stephen reappear from a back room and brightened up considerably.Stephen tolerated Jack’s bad jokes, his clumsy moves—he was a good friend. Stephen

waved and made his way to Jack’s table. He was wearing beige pants with a white

wrinkled shirt. Jack could see s spot of some sort on the front-probably gravy. But he

didn’t care; he was just glad to see his friend. Jack looked at Stephen’s shoes; they were

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There was a crowd standing by Mrs. Parker when Jack began to take charge. “Mrs.

Parker, let me see the damage.” She showed him the dumplings in her pocket.“Perchance I can fix that for you. Please, sit down and permit me to get you an aperitif

whilst I tackle this mess.” Stephen took Mrs. Parker’s hand and led her to a table nearby.

Jack, clutching the coat guiltily, went to get her a drink.

Stephen wondered at Jack’s nerve and resourcefulness. It certainly wasn’t like his friend

to faultlessly engineer such a plot. Stephen shook his head. Jack was always full of surprises.

“It’s all right, Mrs. Parker. Maybe Lt. Aubrey can fix your coat,” Stephen said, patting

her hand.

“He’s a good boy,” Mrs. Parker said, drying her eyes. “My husband thinks he’s strange,

but I’ll have none of that talk from now on!”

Stephen smiled. Well, Jack’s got himself one notch closer to Catherine, he thought.

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pocketful of dough master - jack aubrey

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