fafa

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Communicating Conflict

Communicating ConflictMa Chung University

Malang, 14th February 2013Ma Chung University

Malang, 14th February 2013

Santi Djiwandono - EBASanti Djiwandono - EBA

33

Conflicts happenConflicts happendodoVV

44

channelchannelsendersender

receiverreceiver

messagemessage

encoderencoder decoderdecoder

feedbackfeedback

communications componentscommunications components

contextcontext

5

easy to forget communication components

5

6

easy to forget communication components

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7

easy to forget communication components

7

8

external

internal

timing

distrust

easy to forget communication components

8

99

Communicate with good skill & good willCommunicate with

good skill & good will

1010

Body Language

Body Languageis the management of

time, space, appearance, posture,

gesture, vocal prosody, touch, smell, facial expression, and eye

contact

is the management of time, space,

appearance, posture, gesture, vocal prosody,

touch, smell, facial expression, and eye

contact

1111

we’re wired this way

we’re wired this way

12

Body LanguageBody Languageis in the eye of the beholder

warmth & authoritative leaders

personal connection, affection, respect

open body postures,palm up hand gestures, a full frontal body orientation, positive eye contact, synchronized movements, head nods, head tilts, smiles

erect posture, command of physical space, purposeful stride, firm handshake, steepling, palm down gestures

13

Body LanguageBody Language

not all instant impressions are accurate

they don’t consider context

find meaning in a single gestures

they don’t know the baseline

evaluate through the filter of personal biases

evaluate through the filter of cultural bias

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Body Language - for Leaders

Body Language - for Leaders

successful leaders don’t memorize ‘the right’ physical gestures

aware that their body language dramatically impacts colleagues, clients, staff

the most well-meaning behaviors will sometimes be misinterpreted

ever alert to finding authentic ways to align verbal and non- verbal communication

1515

ListeningListeningwe will become good

listeners only when we can acknowledge that we have a lot to learn

we will become good listeners only when we can acknowledge that we have a lot to learn

16

Blocks to Effective Listening

Blocks to Effective Listening

competition

fear

judgements

lack of time

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Are you really listening?

Are you really listening?

QuickTime™ and a decompressor

are needed to see this picture.

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Learn to ListenLearn to Listen

recognize non-listening behaviors

focus on the speaker

paraphrase

know your own feelings

~if you listen you invite others to be open to you~

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HowHow

build integration & engagement

communicate with good skill & good will

adaptive

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Common GroundCommon Ground

vision/enemies/sense of urgency

identify

learn

share

measure

2121

Authentic LeadersAuthentic Leaders

2222

Thank youThank you

23

Reflection QuestionsReflection Questions

When (time or circumstances) do you fail to listen well on the job?

Think of someone in your organization who listens well. Can you describe what he or she does that leads you to fell heard?

What would you do to make more time for listening at work?