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Principles for Engaging &to Effect Change with

Clients and loved others....

Stephen R. Andrew, LCSW, LADC, CCS, CGP heti@gwi.net

www.hetimaine.org

Biography •  Stephen R. Andrew, LCSW, LADC, CCS, CGP

“story teller”, trainer, therapist, author... Chief Energizing Officer of Health Education & Training Institute (HETI) and member of MINT (Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers) since 2003. MIA-STEP trainer for ATTC New England since 2007.. Trained MI internationally in 10 countries..He has been a substance abuse counselor in a public school system, and the Executive Director of an adolescent prevention/treatment agency. He is the co-founder of the Men’s Resource Center of Southern Maine whose mission is to support boys, men and fathers and oppose violence. Stephen maintains a compassion-focused private practice in Portland, Maine and facilitates men’s, co-ed and caregivers groups. He is the co-author of the book: “Game Plan: A man’s guide to achieving emotional fitness” with 2 friends. Stephen lives with his sweet wife, Hilary, and is the proud father of eighteen year-old Sebastian, in Portland, Maine USA.

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The nature of the conversation is critical…

What we say - and how we say it– and watching how it lands largely determines what the

person says and what happens next… What we say matters!

What motivates you? Who has been a Change Agent in your life? (e.g., relative, supervisor, teacher, coach, counselor, clergy person, child..ect.)

Had a “major positive influence” • What were their characteristics/values? • What did they do?

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Definition of Listening Presence, Interest & Curiosity

§  Focusing all of one’s purpose, attention, and energy on understanding what the person’s message means to the them..

§  Focus: What is the person is saying?

(simple empathic reflection) §  Focus: what does the person MEAN ?

(complex empathic reflection)

Principle #1

• Use Naturally Therapeutic Qualities..

•  Empathy & Compassion... •  Autonomy & Support.... •  Evoking.... •  Practice...Pracice...

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Principle/Strategy #2

• Reflect empathy of a competent world view...

The work...

The work is to create a collaborative, person-

centered, guiding process of communication for inspiring the individual, family and community Elements of the communication: Collaboration; autonomy; respect;

compassion… Find the SHY SOUL..

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Strategy # 3

• The greatest gift we can offer anyone is our true presence... Thich Nhat Hanh

Presence ...LISTEN well...

"  Undivided Attention "  Listen with your “soft”

eyes,”warm” ears and your “open”heart.. "  Acceptance "  “Wicked lot” of Delight " Silence... 7

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Strategy # 4

•  …Practice...

"   “you are responsible for the intervention not the outcome” "   get feedback of your work...

#5 .....Be comfortable with the “ Mystery”

Extratherapeutic Variables

40% Intentional

Engaging Relationship 30%

Technique 15%

Placebo 15%

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POWER & CONTROL (SOVEREIGNTY)

To love and be loved

CAPABLE

CONNECTION

Principle/Strategy # 7

★  No longer engage in power struggles with the client...

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Practice ... Affirmations ☺  Statements of recognition of

the person’s strengths/values ☺  Build confidence in ability to

change.. Notice courage…. ☺  Must be congruent, genuine

and specific... Principle.. #8

#9 Be disciplined in Practice.... 1.  ENGAGE.. Express Accurate Empathy (acceptance, compassion-understands the person’s

competent world view)

2.  HEIGHTEN AMBIVALENCE. .Develop the Discrepancy... (Change is motivated by perceived conflict between present behavior and desired goals) 3. EMPOWERMENT.. Support Self-Efficacy (worker believes in and listens for the

whisper/ “change talk” & commitment language)

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★ # 10 Stop all...

★  no “unsolicited” Advise, Suggestions & Feedback...

Framework… ♥ Opening/Purpose... ♥  Identify Target Issue... ♥ Gather Information- Empathic

Reflection...3 to 1 R/Q ♥ Exploring & Resolving Ambivalence

Present and dreams.. ♥  “Change Theory” and/or Plan... ♥  In Closing... Summarize...20/30 seconds

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TRAPS... #11 when working with “resistance”

"  Question-Answer Trap "  Trap of Taking Sides

"  Expert Trap (I know, you don’t) "  Labeling Trap

"  Premature Focus Trap "  Blaming Trap...

Principle/strategy # 12...

★ Again…” “To hold the “ right “ position is to destroy the relationship”…

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Principle # 13....

✦ “all judgement is violent” ...

★ INDEPENDENCE, SEPARATION AND INDIVIDUALISM FREE FROM CONNECTION NEEDS ARE NOT LEGITIMATE GOALS... #14

★ Love is the answer..

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Principle and final #15...

➡ Do you believe that every person has a self-determination towards “Health?’

➡ Practice reflecting with the person on their layers of hopelessness...

Thank You! Stephen R. Andrew LCSW LADC CCS CGP

www.hetimaine.org