project self self esteem for life...

PROJECT SELFSELF ESTEEM FOR LIFE FULFILMENT

PROJECT SELF was developed by the Kansas State Board of Education with funding from the Stewart B.McKinney/Adult Family Literacy Program. Questions or comments concerning PROJECT SELF should bedirected to the Adult Literacy for the Homeless Specialist, Kansas State Board of Education, 120 SE 10th,Topeka, Kansas, 66612-1182.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

PART I - Introduction

Notes to Learner and Tutor Overview Chart Goals, Objectives, and Performance Standards Matrix and Notes

Part II - Assessment

Self Esteem Survey and Answer Key Instructions for Scoring Learner Checklist Tutor Observation Checklist

Part III - Lesson Plans

Social Tasks Employment Tasks Learning Tasks Family Tasks Create Your Own

Part IV - Appendix

Role Playing, Positive Self Talk, and Visualization Characteristics of Self Esteem The Bottom Line Additional Resources Certificate

INTRODUCTION

Note to Learner and Tutor:

Project SELF activities and materials are designed to raise your self esteem. This workbook is a tool to helpyou discover and use your strengths for successful living. The lessons in this workbook will help youbecome more confident, relate better to others, and gain greater control of your life.

Project SELF integrates self esteem and daily living skills. In other words, this workbook concentrates onbuilding self esteem for the everyday world of social interaction, employment, learning and family. Eachlesson uses a problem-solving approach to help you overcome areas of low self esteem.

How we view ourselves (self concept) and the way others view us or we think others regard us (self image)are the twin faces of self esteem, Positive self-esteem is based on six building blocks (three "C's" and three"I's"): Confidence (the belief that we can reach our goals); Competence (the belief that we possess theknowledge and skills to reach our goals); and Control (the belief that we can manage our lives to reach ourgoals); Initiative (the belief that you have a sense of purpose and can take action to solve problems);Intimacy (the belief that you can act according to your values and principles); and Intimacy (the belief thatyou can establish bonds of friendship and love with others).

If you experience support and success in your daily living, there is a greater likelihood that you will developa positive self image. This workbook provides a variety of exercises to create a more confident, competent,and self-reliant person.

PROJECT SELF GOALS AND OBJECTIVES

GOALS:

1. TO ASSESS THE SELF ESTEEM OF ADULT LEARNERS.

2. TO EQUIP LEARNERS WITH TECHNIQUES FOR BUILDING POSITIVE SELF ESTEEM FORTHEMSELVES AND OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS,

3. TO ACQUAINT LEARNERS WITH ADDITIONAL INSTRUCTIONAL RESOURCES FOR RAISINGSELF ESTEEM.

4. TO PROVIDE A FRAMEWORK FOR INTEGRATING SELF ESTEEM AND LIFE SKILLS.

OBJECTIVES:

1A. TO DETERMINE THE LEARNER'S LEVEL OF SELF ESTEEM USING A WRITTEN ASSESSMENT,OBSERVATION CHECKLIST, AND INPUT FROM THE LEARNER.

1B. TO IDENTIFY AREAS OF HIGH AND LOW SELF ESTEEM.

2A. TO ASSIST LEARNERS IN USING THE PROBLEM SOLVING METHOD ADDRESS PROBLEMAREAS IN DAILY LIVING ACTIVITIES.

2B. TO INSTRUCT LEARNERS IN RAISING SELF ESTEEM BY POSITIVE SELF TALK,VISUALIZATION, AND ROLE PLAYING.

3. TO DEVELOP A BIBLIOGRAPHY OF LEARNER, TUTOR, AND AGENCY RESOURCES FORFURTHER STUDY OF SELF ESTEEM, EM.

4A. TO IDENTIFY THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF SELF ESTEEM AND THE MAJOR LIFE DOMAINSRELATED TO SELF ESTEEM.

4B. TO DEVELOP A MATRIX SUMMARIZING THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN SELF ESTEEM ANDLIFE SKILLS.

4C. TO PROVIDE A LESSON PLAN FORMAT FOR "CUSTOMIZING" ADDITIONAL SELF ESTEEMLESSONS.

PERFORMANCE STANDARDS

* Learner is able to define self esteem and distinguish three characteristics of low and high self esteem.

* Learner completes the survey and checklist to determine the level of his/her self esteem.

* Learner identifies two areas of low self esteem and develops a plan of action for improving each area.

* Learner uses the problem solving method to address three areas of difficulty in daily living activities.

*Learner reports feeling more confident and successful in daily living activities.

*Learner successfully demonstrates positive self talk and visualization.

*Learner raises self esteem by one level as determined by the self esteem survey.

* Tutor observes an improvement in learner attitude and behavior in two areas of low self esteem.

*Tutor designs and implements one additional self esteem lesson in each life domain.

*Tutor/agency acquires and uses two additional resources for teaching and investigating self esteem.

PROJECT SELF MATRIX

LIFE DOMAINS AND TASKS

SELF ESTEEM BUILDINGBLOCKS

SOCIAL EMPLOYMENT LEARNING FAMILY

CONFIDENCE Develop positiveattitude each day

Present positive imagefor job interview

Prepare to meet yourchild's teacher

Instill confidence inyour child

COMPETENCE Meet emotionalneeds

Work as a team memberto solve problems

Improve yourreading skills

Help your child withhomework

CONTROL Manage behavior Manage time Set goals for learning Resolve family conflict

INITIATIVE Become assertive maintain sense ofpurpose

Seek help to raiseskills

Build a supportsystem for your family

INTEGRITY Behave accordingto principles

Determine job/careerchoice according tovalues

Learn about beliefsystems

Help your childdevelop as a uniqueperson

INTIMACY Buildrelationships

Value and respect fellowworkers

Become a volunteerin your child's school

Show love and caringfor your child

Definitions: Confidence - Belief in your ability to accomplish your goals Competence - Effective use of knowledge and skills Control - Management of behavior and resources Initiative - Maintain sense of purpose and willingness to take action Integrity - Act according to one's values, principles and beliefs

Intimacy - Establishing bonds of friendship and love with others

MATRIX NOTES TO TUTOR:

1. This matrix integrates life domains, self esteem building blocks and life tasks.

2. Included in this matrix are specific daily living activities which involve one or more of the selfesteem building blocks. The life tasks listed above are merely examples of the myriad dailyactivities in each life domain.

3. The Project SELF Overview identifies the broad tasks related to each self esteem buildingblock, General tasks such as setting goals or becoming assertive can be applied to all of the lifedomains. In fact, life tasks typically require more than one self esteem building block to achievesuccess.

4. Project SELF users should feel free to design their own matrix to accommodate diverseprogram and client needs,

5. The various techniques for raising self esteem - positive self talk, role playing, visualization,and problem solving - can also be used in each life domain.

PROJECT SELF ASSESSMENT

SELF ESTEEM SURVEY Directions: This self esteem survey will help you better understand yourself. To complete the survey, followthe directions below.

Read each statement carefully.Decide whether you strongly agree, somewhat agree, or disagree with each statement.Put a check under the column that best fits how you feel about each statement,There are no right or wrong answers, so don't take too much time to mark your response.

Trust your first reaction.When you are finished, you and your tutor will score this together.

Somewhat Agree Agree Disagree1 . My life lacks purpose and direction.2. I feel I'm not in control of what happens to me.3. I tend to say yes when I really want to say no.4. I set goals and stick to them.5. Most people like me and enjoy being around me.6. I have a positive outlook on life.7. 1 believe I can cope with whatever happens to me.8. I have trouble making up my mind.9. I feel good about my appearance10. I state my needs and feelings without putting others down.11. It's hard for me to relax and not worry so much.12. My problems seem overwhelming to me.13. I tend to depend on others for my happiness.14. I'm good at solving problems.15. Most people respect and value my opinion.16. I find it easy to say good things about myself17. I believe people are basically honest.18. 1 don't feel that I'm successful.19. I have difficulty standing up for myself20. I try to take good care of my health.21. It's hard for me to express love and caring.22. I'm an energetic person.23. I can talk to people without feeling nervous.24. I feel my life has meaning.25. It's hard for me to meet new people.

ANSWER KEY

SELF ESTEEM SURVEY Directions: This self esteem survey will help you better understand yourself. To complete the survey, followthe directions below.

Read each statement carefully.Decide whether you strongly agree, somewhat agree, or disagree with each statement.Put a check under the column that best fits how you feel about each statement.There are no right or wrong answers, so don't take too much time to mark your response.Trust your first reaction.When you are finished, you and your tutor will score this together.

Somewhat Agree Agree Disagree1 . My life lacks purpose and direction. 1 2 32. 1 feel I'm not in control of what happens to me. 1 2 33. I tend to say yes when I really want to say no. 1 2 34. I set goals and stick to them. 3 2 15. Most people like me and enjoy being around me. 3 2 16. I have a positive outlook on life. 3 2 17. I believe I can cope with whatever happens to me. 3 2 18. I have trouble making up my mind. 1 2 39. I feel good about my appearance. 3 2 110. I state my needs and feelings without putting others down. 3 2 111. It's hard for me to relax and not worry so much. 1 2 312. My problems seem overwhelming to me. 1 2 313. I tend to depend on others for my happiness. 1 2 314. I'm good at solving problems. 3 2 115. Most people respect and value my opinion. 3 2 116. I find it easy to say good things about myself 3 2 117. I believe people are basically honest. 3 2 118. I don't feel that I'm successful. 1 2 319. I have difficulty standing up for myself 1 2 320. I try to take good care of my health. 3 2 121. It's hard for me to express love and caring. 1 2 322. I'm an energetic person. 3 2 123. I can talk to people without feeling nervous. 3 2 124. I feel my life has meaning. 3 2 125. It's hard for me to meet new people. 1 2 3

INSTRUCTIONS FOR SCORING

The Self Esteem Survey

1. Refer to the answer key to determine the point value of each response (for example, if thelearner marked the box under "Disagree" for item # 1, then three points would be awarded).

2. Enter the total number of points earned for items 1-25. TOTAL SCORE:___

3. Compare the total score with the guidelines below. Items earning 1 point on the Surveyindicate low self esteem; items earning 2 points indicate moderate self esteem; items earning 3points indicate high self esteem. . .

POINTS SELFESTEEM RECOMMENDATION

60-75 HIGH Learner is confident and competent in daily living activities. Considerusing this individual as a peer tutor.

45-59 MODERATELearner experiences occasional problems in certain daily living activities.Identify particular situations that present difficulty and develop lessonplans using role playing and problem-solving methods.

0-44 LOWLearner has poor self esteem and lacks confidence to succeed in dailyliving activities. Lessons should address each life domain using positiveself-talk, visualization, and role playing exercises to raise self esteem

4. Instructions should begin with those items earning 1 point, followed by items earning 2points. Begin by asking the learner to explain why he/she marked items earning 1 or 2 points.Look for particular situations or types of individuals that pose problems for the learner. Use theCharacteristics of Self Esteem Chart to determine the self esteem building block and lifedomain related to each item,

PROJECT SELF LEARNER CHECKLIST

DIRECTIONS FOR THE LEARNER: The statements in this checklist describe a variety of daily living situations that might be difficult for you.Follow these steps in completing the checklist below.

Read and think about each statement below.Decide if the statement describes a situation that is a problem for you.Ask yourself where and when this problem arises. Put a check in the blank under each area -

home, work, learning, or social setting - in which the problem occurs.

Home Work Learning Social Setting1. Letting others take advantage of me2. Trusting others.3. Expressing how I really feel.4. Feeling confident about my ability to cope.5. Deciding what I believe.6. Being understood by others.7. Figuring out what I want to accomplish in life.8. Making a good impression.9. Having a positive outlook on life.10. Finding support when things go wrong.11. Controlling my emotions.12. Being flexible.13. Gaining respect and approval of others.14. Relaxing and managing stress.15. Establishing boundaries.16. Feeling safe and secure.17. Listening carefully to others.18. Taking care of my mental and physical health.

19. Getting along with others.20. Discovering my talents and strengths.

DIRECTIONS FOR THE TUTOR:

For each life domain checked, ask the learner to give specific examples of how and when thestatement poses a problem.

Use this information to determine possible lessons. Refer to existing lesson (in the appropriatelife domain) or design a lesson using the blank problem solving format.

Incorporate positive self talk, role playing, and visualization into the lessons to strengthen selfesteem.

PROJECT SELF TUTOR OBSERVATION CHECKLIST

Directions:

1. Watch for the following behavior traits that indicate low self esteem.

2. Put a check mark under the appropriate column to indicate the frequency and severity ofeach negative behavior trait. The "comments" section after each statement can be used torecord specific incidents.

3. Observe the client, if possible, for several days in various situations before marking thechecklist.

4. Use this checklist as a discussion tool with the client to gather more information and suggestways to overcome low self esteem.

Yes Not observed1. Client tends to avoid eye contact. Comments:2. Client avoids talking to people. Comments3. Client has difficulty interacting with authority figures. Comments:4. Client is not clean, neat and appropriately dressed. Comments:5. Client feels alone and overwhelmed by problems. Comments:6. Client uses defensive body language. Comments:7. Client has difficulty talking about him/herself. Comments:8. Client has trouble making decisions. Comments:9. Client tends to stay by him/herself Comments:10. Most of the client's comments are negative. Comments:11. Client has difficulty expressing needs and desires. Comments:

12. Client lacks energy. Comments:13. Client appears suspicious and mistrustful. Comments:14. Client feels unable to cope with life. Comments:15. Client has trouble controlling emotions. Comments:

PROJECT SELF Lesson Plans

PROJECT SELF

1. DEVELOP A POSITIVE ATTITUDE EACH DAY 2. BECOME ASSERTIVE 3. CREATE YOUR OWN LESSON

Social Tasks

LESSON PLAN FOR PROBLEM SOLVINGTOPIC Develop A Positive Attitude Each Day

Step 1: DESCRIBE THE SITUATION What is happening?

Learner claims that he/she begins each day feeling depressed and irritated, lacking energy, andexpecting the worst to happen.

Step 2: ANALYZE THE SITUATION Why is this a problem?

Learner has difficulty showing love and caring, maintaining emotional health, and doing his/herbest on the job.

Who does this problem affect?

Family members, co-workers, and friends/acquaintances.

How are people affected by the problem?

Family members may not receive nurturing and affirmation; Co-workers may experience problems getting along with learner; Friends/acquaintances may avoid interacting with learner.

Step 3: IDENTIFY THE DESIRED OUTCOME What is my goal concerning this problem?

To begin each day with a positive attitude.

Step 4: DETERMINE A SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM What are my options to solve this problem?

Learner responses will vary. Options may include intensive therapy, becoming a social recluse, orattempting to change one's attitude through self improvement.

Which option is best to solve this problem?

Learner should use positive self talk to improve attitude.

Step 5: DEVELOP A PLAN TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM What resources will be needed to implement the plan?

1. Notebook and pen or pencil;

2. 3/5 index cards; and 3. Cassette player. These resources will be used to record positive self talk statements.

What steps are included in the plan?

1. Review differences between positive and negative self esteem; 2. Learn and practice positive self talk guidelines; 3. Develop a plan of action for each day in advance; and 4. Evaluate effectiveness of performance.

What is the time line for my plan?

(Timelines will vary and should be negotiated between learner and tutor.)

How will I know if my plan is successful?

1. Learner follows self talk guidelines; 2. Daily plan of action is developed; 3. Fewer incidents of depression and irritation are reported; and 4. Positive feedback from others.

Step 6: IMPLEMENT THE PLAN

Step 7: EVALUATE THE SUCCESS OF THE PLAN Is the plan working? Why, or why not.

Learner responses will vary. Does learner believe that he/she is making progress? Is learnermore energetic and productive at home and work?

Does the plan need revision? If so, how?

Tutor and learner should jointly decide if plan needs revision and determine necessary changes.

How has this problem and my solution affected my self esteem?

Learner responses will vary. Does learner understand the role of positive attitude in helping onecope with the challenges of daily living? Does learner feel better about him/herself?

Step 8: DECIDE HOW TO CELEBRATE MY SUCCESS What will I do to reward myself for dealing with this problem?

Learner responses will vary. Tutor should award a Project SELF Certificate.

LESSON PLAN FOR PROBLEM SOLVINGTOPIC Become Assertive


Learner feels that people take advantage of him/her. Standing up for what he/she believes maybe a problem. Learner may also become aggressive and abusive.


Learner may feel that he/she is not taken seriously or treated with respect. Personaleffectiveness is compromised.


Family members, co-workers, and social peers.


Children may manipulate "wishy-washy" parent. Family members, co-workers, and social peersmay be subjected to verbal outbursts and attacks. Learner may suffer exploitation or abuse.


To develop assertiveness skills; To learn to say what I mean and mean what I say withoutfeeling guilty.


Learner responses will vary. Options may include becoming more passive, being moreconfrontational, or learning to state needs and feelings without attacking others.


Learner should develop assertiveness skills.


1. Notebook and pen or pencil; 2. Cassette player; and 3.Assertiveness model (Rely on "I" statements; Describe observed behavior; Use simple,concrete terms; Express yourself briefly and honestly; Ask for cooperation; and propose "win-win" outcome).


1. Learn and practice assertiveness model; 2. Study role playing guidelines; 3. Develop role playing exercises based on assertiveness model; 4. Practice assertiveness model using role playing; and 5. Evaluate performance.

What is the time line for my plan?

(Timeliness will vary and should be negotiated between learner and tutor.)


1. Learner uses "I" rather than "You" statements; 2. Needs and feelings are stated without becoming aggressive or defensive; and 3. Learner feels more confident and successful.


Step 7: EVALUATE THE SUCCESS OF THE PLAN Is the plan working? Why or why not,

Learner responses will vary. Tutor and learner should evaluate success in learning and using the

assertiveness model. Does learner state needs and feelings without guilt?




Learner responses will vary. Lack of assertiveness places learner at a disadvantage wheninteracting with others. Being assertive enhances communication and personal effectiveness.

Step 8: DECIDE HOW TO CELEBRATE MY SUCCESS What will I do to reward myself for dealing with thisproblem? Learner responses will vary. Tutor should award a Project SELF certificate.

PROJECT SELF

1. PRESENT POSITIVE IMAGE FOR JOB INTERVIEWS 2. WORK AS A TEAM MEMBER TO SOLVE PROBLEMS 3. CREATE YOUR OWN LESSON

Employment Tasks

LESSON PLAN FOR PROBLEM SOLVING TOPIC Present Positive Image For Job Interview


Learner is seeking employment. He/she must present a positive self image for the job interview.


Learner may not know how to present a positive self image. A negative self image will weakenchances of getting a job.


Learner and prospective employer.


A Poor self image may adversely affect learner's job prospects. The employer may decide to hireanother applicant who presents a better self image.


To improve learner's self image and enhance employability.


Learner responses will vary. Options may include maintaining present self image, seekingemployment that relies little on self image, or getting help to upgrade self image.


Learner should improve self image to increase employability.


1. Job application; 2. Personal hygiene products and clean, suitable clothing; 3. Self image checklist; 4. Resume; 5. Transportation; and 6. Telephone.


1. Discuss importance of self image when seeking a job; 2. Develop a checklist to rate self image; 3. Review how to prepare for a job interview; 4. Role play with tutor to simulate job interview and practice positive self image; and 5. Prepare resume, contact employer for interview, and arrange transportation.

What is the timeline for my plan?



1. Learner can explain difference between positive and negative self image; 2. Learner follows items on self image checklist; and 3. Learner obtains a job.

Step 6: IMPLEMENT THE PLAN Step 7: EVALUATE THE SUCCESS OF THE PLAN Is the plan working? Why or why not.

Learner responses will vary. Did the learner correct areas of low self image identified by thechecklist? Is the learner actively engaged in role playing and preparing for the interview?




Learner responses will vary. Does learner understand the role of self image in getting a job? Apositive self image enables learner to feel more confident, comfortable and successful.


Learner responses will vary. Tutor should award a Project SELF certificate.

LESSON PLAN FOR PROBLEM SOLVING TOPIC Work As A Team Member To Solve Problems


Learner's job requires that he/she work as part of a team to complete a task or solve problems.Learner has limited exposure to team work and problem solving.


Learner's ability to work with others and solve problems affects productivity, job satisfaction,and relations with co-workers.


Learner, co-workers, and company management.


Learner has difficulty working as a team member. Co-workers may find team is less cohesiveand productive. Management is concerned with creating an effective work team and raisingoutput.


To learn how to work as a member of a team and solve problems effectively.


Learner responses will vary. options include operating independently at work, engaging aprofessional trainer to improve team work, or discussing team work with co-workers.


Improve learner's team work and problem solving skills.


1 . Blank problem solving lesson plan; 2. Notebook and pen or pencil; 3 Cassette player; and 4. Company procedures manual.


1. Review company procedures manual for team work and problem solving guidelines; 2. Follow visualization steps to identify ideal conditions for team work and problem solving; 3. Role play working as a team member; 4. Ask management to discuss improving team work; and 5. Use blank lesson plan at work.


(Timelines will vary and should be negotiated between tutor and learner.)


1. Learner feels that he/she is a more effective team member; 2. Management and co-workers report greater satisfaction with team's performance; and 3. Work team uses blank lesson plan.

Step 6: IMPLEMENT THE PLAN Step 7: EVALUATE THE SUCCESS OF THE PLAN Is the plan working? Why or why not.

Learner responses will vary. Does learner believe that be/ she is a more effective team member?Are problems solved more efficiently and effectively?




Learner responses will vary. Does learner recognize the role of team work in promoting jobsatisfaction, sense of acceptance, and positive self esteem?'



PROJECT SELF

1. IMPROVE YOUR READING SKILLS 2. SET EDUCATIONAL GOALS 3. CREATE YOUR OWN LESSON

LEARNING TASKS

LESSON PLAN FOR PROBLEM SOLVINGTOPIC Improve Your Reading Skills


Learner confides that he/she has difficulty understanding written material. Learner becomesfrustrated due to poor reading skills and avoids tasks that require reading.


Without adequate reading skills, the learner cannot fully participate in modern society.


Learner, family children, and co-workers.

How are a people affected by the problem?

Learner may feel that he/she is a failure. Children cannot receive help with homework. Expensivemistakes may occur at work due to learner's poor reading skills.


To develop better reading skills.


Learner responses will vary. Options include avoiding tasks that entail reading, asking others toread to learner, or seeking help to improve reading skills.


Seek help to improve reading skills.


1. Notebook and pen or pencil; 2. Reading material at appropriate level; 3. Telephone directory; and 4. Cassette player.


1. Use telephone directory to contact local literacy program or school for help with reading skills;

2. Visit local literacy program with tutor or friend; 3. Arrange for a tutor to instruct the learner; 4. Record books on tape to practice reading at home; 5. Read with child or spouse; and 6. Visit local library.




1. Learner gets help to improve reading skills; 2. Learner reads with children and spouse; 3. Learner obtains library card and checks out books; and 4. Learner practices reading at home.


Step 7: EVALUATE THE SUCCESS OF THE PLAN Is the plan working? Why or why not.

Learner responses will vary. Does learner believe that he/ she is overcoming reading deficiency?Does family read together? Does learner undertake tasks that involve reading?




Learner responses will vary. Inadequate reading skills is a serious hindrance to performing mostdaily living tasks, Self esteem rises when we feel confident about our skills.

Step 8: DECIDE HOW TO CELEBRATE MY SUCCESS

What will I do to reward myself for dealing with this problem?


LESSON PLAN FOR PROBLEM SOLVING TOPIC Set Goals For Learning


Learner is concerned about securing further education and/or training to ensure a better futurefor him/herself and family. Learner is struggling to set learning goals!


Learner has limited experience in setting goals and strategic thinking.


Learner and family.


Learner's decisions concerning his/her skill development and level of education will affect his/herfuture. Learner's goals will also impact family's quality of life and stability.


To set realistic, attainable learning goals,


Learner responses will vary. Options include taking life as it comes, letting others plan learner'sgoals, or learning how to establish personal goals.


Learner should develop goal setting skills.


1. Notebook and pen or pencil; 2. Cassette player; 3. Information about local education andtraining programs; and 4. Local library.


1. Learn how to establish goals with varied time frames; 2. Make a list of personal skills and qualities and identify areas of desired improvement; 3. Use visualization technique to determine learning goals; 4. Prepare a chart of learning goals and objectives; and 5. Visit library to find out about local programs.


(Timelines will vary and should be negotiated between tutor and learner.)


1. Learner establishes 3 learning goals and objectives; 2. Learner sets goals with varied time frames; and 3. Learner contacts local education/training programs for information.



Learner responses will vary. Has learner identified skills for improvement? Did learner obtain andact on information from local programs? Has learner discussed goals with family?


Learner responses will vary. Tutor and learner should jointly decide if plan needs revision anddetermine necessary changes.


Lack of clear, realistic goals breeds confusion and powerlessness. Well-defined goals providepurpose to life and raise self confidence. Learning goals are prerequisites to skill developmentand self esteem.



PROJECT SELF

1. RESOLVE FAMILY CONFLICT 2. BUILD A SUPPORT SYSTEM FOR YOUR FAMILY 3. CREATE YOUR OWN LESSON

Family tasks

LESSON PLAN FOR PROBLEM SOLVINGTOPIC Resolve Family Conflict


Learner complains that family members are constantly at odds with each o other. Childrenexhibit disruptive behavior. Family discussions are overpowered by emotional outbursts,


Lack of success in resolving conflict threatens family stability and the well-being of familymembers. who does this problem affect? Learner and family members.


Learner's effectiveness as a parent is jeopardized by continued conflict with children. The poorconflict resolution skills of other family members cause disagreements to get out of hand.


To develop conflict management skills that will enable family members to regulate conflict moreeffectively.


Learner responses will vary. Options include ignoring incidents of conflict, using force to controlbehavior, or acquiring skills to manage conflict.


Learner should improve conflict resolution skills.


1. Notebook and pen or pencil; 2. Cassette player; and 3. Conflict resolution model (a. Declare truce in the conflict; b. Explain problem behavior; c.Listen actively to other party's viewpoint; d. Collectively seek solutions; and a. Promote "win-win").


1. Learn conflict resolution model; 2. Use role playing to practice conflict resolution skills; 3. Hold family meeting to lay ground rules for managing conflict; 4. Monitor success of model in reducing tension.




1. Family members learn and use conflict resolution model; 2. Problems are handled at their lowest level; 3. Family members report fewer incidents ofconflict; 4. Model is used outside home.



Learner responses will vary. Are problems and issues discussed calmly and rationally. Doesconflict resolution model promote greater cooperation and flexibility?


Learner responses will vary, Tutor and learner should jointly decide if plan needs revision anddetermine necessary changes.


Failure to manage conflict causes feelings of inadequacy and incompetence, which lead to lowself esteem. Successfully managing conflict fosters self confidence and a more positive selfesteem.



LESSON PLAN FOR PROBLEM SOLVINGTOPIC Build A Support System For Your Family


Learner is concerned that he/she does not have a support system with family emergencies.Lacking help from others, the learner has difficulty handling everyday problems.


Routine activities may place great stress on family unit. Emergencies may be mishandled withdisastrous consequences.


Learner. other family members, and social peers.


Learner may feel helpless, alone, and frustrated. Other family members may experiencerejection, isolation, or failure, Social peers may be uncertain about how to assist learner andhis/her family.


To build a reliable, effective support system for my family.


Learner responses will vary. Options include accepting your situation; hiring individuals to act asyour support system, or forming a support system from local resources.


Assemble a support system from local peers and agencies.


1. Notebook and pen or pencil;

2. 3/5 cards; 3. Telephone directory; and 4. Local library.


1. Use visualization to create the ideal support system; 2. List areas in which family needs support system; 3. Decide how support system can help family; 4. Visit local library or talk with peers to research possible candidates for your support system; 5. Contact candidates; and 6. Keep list of your support system on 3/5 cards.




1. Learner develops a support system; 2. Learner plans how to activate support system as needed; and 3. Support system ,meets learner and family expectations.



Learner responses will vary, Does the support system function as envisioned? Do familymembers feel they enjoy a better quality of life because of support system?


Learner responses will vary, Tutor and learner should jointly decide if plan needs revision anddetermine necessary changes.


Absence of a support system overloads learner and leads to low self esteem due to inability tomeet all family needs. A support system enables learner to feel better about him/herself.



CREATING YOUR OWN LESSON PLANS USING THE PROBLEM SOLVING FORMAT

NOTES TO TUTORS:

All Project SELF lessons use an identical problem solving format. To create additional lessons, you shouldreproduce the blank lesson plan in each life domain.

When designing lessons, it is important to distinguish between the two main components of self esteem:Self concept and Self image. The latter refers to how others view you (or how you think they view you);theformer refers to how you view yourself Self concept stresses inner feelings and attitudes. Self image is

based on external appearance and behavior. Selected lessons are designed to raise self concept, whileother topics emphasize building positive self image. Whether dealing with self concept or self image, theparamount goal of the lesson is the same: Building positive self esteem.

Make certain that you incorporate one or more techniques for raising self esteem into your lesson plans.Step 5 of the problem solving approach (action plan) is the logical place to identify which technique(s) youwill use (positive self talk, visualization, or role playing).

Tutor and learner should jointly shape lesson plans. Avoid the temptation to create lessons without inputfrom the learner (the "tutor knows best" syndrome).

Lessons will sometimes require the tutor to create something not already part of Project SELF resources.Don't be intimidated by this prospect. Just rely on your past experience, education, and common sense(not to mention the learner) to create what you need.

Despite the common format, lessons can be individualized to fit the learner's needs. Lessons on identicaltopics may yield different goals, action plans, Timelines, and ways of celebrating from one learner toanother. The object of these lessons is not to take the same path, but to arrive at the same destination.

Last, but not least, encourage progress and applaud effort as learners struggle to raise their self esteem.You will make a difference in the lives you touch.

LESSON PLAN FOR PROBLEM SOLVINGTOPIC















PROJECT SELF APPENDIX

ROLE PLAYING

Follow some or all of the steps below to use role playing for solving problems.

1. Think about a situation or life task that is a problem for you.

2. Describe the behavior of the people involved and the consequences of their behavior.

3. Discuss why this situation or life task is difficult for you.

4. Identify the skills you would need to improve to be more successful with this problem.

5. Observe others playing your role in a situation that is difficult for you.

6. Write down or improvise similar problem situations and act them out with others,

7. Be sure that you practice the skills that are a problem for you when you role play.

8. Have someone make an audio or video tape of your role play.

9. Decide how successful you were in dealing with the problem and get feedback from others,What did you do well? What still seems to be a problem for you?

10. Talk about how you felt about yourself each time you did role playing.

11. Before using your improved skills in an actual situation, try a dry run or rehearsal.

12. Put your new skills to work in a real life situation and give yourself a hand!

POSITIVE SELF TALK

Follow some or all of the steps below to use positive self talk for solving problems.

1. Choose a life task that is difficult for you.

2. Decide what action you could take or quality you could develop to become more successful indealing with this task.

3. Create one or more statements that will help your attitude and thinking be more positive.

4. Express your statement as though what you desire is happening now.

5. Use only positive terms.

6. Use the "I" or "me" pronoun in your statement.

7. Keep your statement short and simple.

8. Write your statement on a card and carry it with you; study it and think about it at least tentimes a day.

9. Display your statement at home, work, or school,

10. Repeat your statement to yourself ten times a day.

11. Tape record your statement and listen to it daily.

12. Put your statement into practice and give yourself a hand!

NOTE. In the film Fright Night, Roddy McDowall plays a former horror film star and host of a local TVprogram. As he prepares to confront a real-life vampire, McDowall's character repeats to himself severaltimes, "I am Peter Vincent, fearless vampire killer." This is an example of positive self talk. McDowall'sstatement contains all the elements of positive self talk: Life Task - killing vampires; Desired Quality -fearlessness; Statement is short and simple, phrased in the present tense and uses the "I" pronoun.

Other examples of positive self talk include statements such as "I am a person who deserves and giveslove" or "I am comfortable with who I am and how I look".

VISUALIZATION

Follow some or all of the steps below to use visualization for solving problems.

1. Think about a life task that is difficult for you.

2. Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit.

3 . Relax and take several deep breaths.

4. Close your eyes and clear your mind of distractions.

5. Think about your difficult situation.

6. Imagine what the situation would be like under the very best conditions.

7. Describe the situation you see in your mind.

8. Think about what is different about your visualized situation compared to real life.

9. Talk into a tape recorder, write down what you see, or dictate your thoughts for someoneelse to write down. You may also draw the situation or cut up magazines to make a collage orposter about your difficult situation.

10. What can you do to make your vision of the future come true or to improve the way thingsare now?

11. Devise a plan of action to improve your ability to cope with your situation.

12. Take some steps to make your visualization a reality and give yourself a hand!

CHARACTERISTICS OF SELF ESTEEM

The following statements contrast low and high self esteem.

The middle column identifies the particular self esteem building block illustrated by the statement.

Lessons can be developed for any of the statements listed below, First, determine which self esteembuilding block is illustrated by the statement. Second, identify which life domain is affected by the buildingblock, Third, follow the steps in the blank problem- solving lesson plan included in each life domain.

R> . . . . .

HIGH SELF ESTEEM BUILDINGBLOCK LOW SELF ESTEEM

1. My life has purpose and direction. INITIATIVE It seems that my life lacks purpose anddirection.

2. I feel that I'm in control of what happensto me. CONTROL I feel that I have no control over what

happens to me.3. I say "yes" when I mean "yes" and "no"when I mean "no". INTEGRITY I tend to say "yes" when I really want to say

"no".

4. I set goals and stick to them. INITIATIVE I have trouble setting goals and sticking tothem.

5. Most people like me and enjoy beingaround me. INTIMACY It seems that most people don't like me and

try to avoid me.6. I have a positive outlook on life. INITIATIVE I tend to see the worst in life.7. I believe that I can cope with whateverhappens to me COMPETENCE I don't feel that I can cope with whatever life

brings.8. I have little difficulty making up mymind. CONFIDENCE It's hard for me to make up my mind.

9. I am satisfied with who I am and how Ilook. INTEGRITY I don't feel good about who I am and how I

look.10. I state my needs and feelings withoutattacking others CONTROL I tend to attack others when stating how I

feel and what I need.11. I am able to relax and not worry toomuch CONTROL It's hard for me to relax and not worry too

much about things.12. My problems are manageable CONFIDENCE My problems seem overwhelming.13. I rely on my inner qualities forhappiness. INTEGRITY I tend to depend on others for my happiness.

14. I'm good at solving problems. COMPETENCE I feel that I'm not good at solving problems15. Most people respect and value myopinion. INTIMACY It seems that most people don't respect me

or value my opinion.16. I find it easy to say good things aboutmyself CONFIDENCE It's difficult for me to say good things about

myself

17. People are basically honest and good. INTEGRITY People are mostly dishonest anduntrustworthy.

18. I feel that I'm successful at what I do COMPETENCE I don't feel successful in life.19. I stand up for what I believe. INTEGRITY I tend to let people "run over" me.20. 1 take good care of my health. COMPETENCE I tend to neglect my health.21. It's easy for me to express love andcaring. INTIMACY It's difficult for me to express love and caring,

22. 1 am energetic. INITIATIVE I lack energy.23. 1 can talk to people without feelingnervous. INTIMACY I find it hard to talk to people without getting

nervous.24. My life has meaning INITIATIVE My life has no meaning.25. I like to meet new people. INTIMACY It's hard for me to meet new people.

JUST GIVE ME THE BOTTOM LINE - WHAT MUST I DO TO HAVE HIGH SELF ESTEEM (PROJECTSELF'S TERRIFIC TWENTY TIPS)

1. Think "Win-Win" when you negotiate with others, not "I win, you lose".

2. Keep a positive attitude about life.

3. Be assertive without putting others down.

4. Set goals and work hard to reach them.

5. Control your behavior to fit the situation.

6. Contribute to the success of others - Lend a helping Hand.

7. Know your strengths and use them.

8. Show love and caring.

9. Value and respect others.

10. Display a positive, confident image to the people you meet.

11. Maintain a sense of purpose and direction in your life.

12. Manage conflict so it doesn't manage you.

13. Behave according to your values and beliefs.

14. Believe in your ability to cope with whatever happens.

15. Build supportive relationships.

16. Solve problems at their smallest level.

17. Be willing to improve your skills.

18. Manage your resources wisely.

19. Take care of your emotional and physical health.

20. Learn to relax.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES FOR RAISING SELF ESTEEM

1. Abata, Russell. How To Develop A Better Self Image. Liguori, MO: Liquori Publications. 1979.

2. Booher, Diana. Making Friends With Yourself and Other Strangers. New York, NY: Julian Messner.1982.

3 . Braham, Barbara J. How To Build Your Self Esteem. Cincinnati, Ohio: South-Western Publishing Co.1993.

4. Branden, Nathaniel. The Six Pillars of Self Esteem. New York, NY: Bantam Books. 1994.

5. Briggs, Dorothy. Your Child's Self Esteem: The Key to His Life. New York, NY: Dolphin Books. 1975.

6. Canfield, Jack, 100 Ways to Enhance Self-Concept in the Classroom: A Handbook for Teachersand Parents. Englewood Cliffs, NY: Prentice-Hall. 1976.

7. Cleve, Jay. Out of the Blues. Minneapolis, MN: Compcare Publishers. 1989,

8. Covey, Stephen. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. New York, NY: Simon and Schuster. 1989.

9. Hart, Louise. The Winning Family.- Increasing Self Esteem In Your Children and Yourself

Lifeskills Press. 1990.

10. Heimstetter, Shad. The Self-Talk Solution. New York, NY: William Morrow and Company, Inc. 1987.

11. Hooker, Dennis and Almut. Me and Others. New York, NY: Educational Design, Inc. 1990.

12. McKay, Matthew and Patrick Fannim. Self Esteem. Oakland, CP: New Harbinger Publications. 1987.

13. MT. T. Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool. New York, NY: St. Martin's Press. 1984.

14. Powell, John. Happiness Is an Inside Job. Allen, TX: Tabor Publishers, 1989.

Strategic Directions for Kansas Education

The Kansas State Board of Education is charged with the general supervision of public education and othereducational interests in the state. While clearly acknowledging the role and importance of local control, theState Board of Education has the responsibility to provide direction and leadership for the structuring of allstate educational institutions under its jurisdiction.

The beginning place for determining the mission for the Kansas State Board of Education is the assumptionthat all Kansas citizens must be involved in their own learning and the leaning of others. It is the combinedeffort of family, school, and community that makes possible the development of a high quality of life. It isthe parent who is the first "teacher" of children. As we grow older, we learn that the school, the workplace,and the community support our lifelong learning and our training and retraining. The Board recognizes theresponsibility it holds for Kansas educational systems and promoting quality education programs. Themission for Kansas education is:

To prepare each person with the living, learning, and working skills and values necessary for caring,productive, and fulfilling participation in our evolving, global society.

We believe that the strategic directions for the structuring of Kansas education must be organized to:

create learning communitiessupport families and young children through quality early childhood programs for all childrento strengthen parental involvement in schools and communitiesimplement results-oriented curriculum and instruction which focus on learner outcomesprovide safe, nurturing, and technologically-advanced learning environments which meet the

needs of all diverse groupsstrengthen involvement of business and industry in educationprovide quality staff and organizational development

Kansas State Board of Education Kansas State Education Building 120 SE. 10th Avenue Topeka, Kansas 66612-1182

Board Members

Mildred G. McMillon District 1Kathleen White District 2Kevin P. Gilmore District 3Connie Hubbell District 4L B. "Sonny Rundell District 5Bill Musick District 6

Wanda Monison District 7Micbael D. Gragert District 8Mandy Specht District 9Steve E. Abrams District 10Lee Droegemuclier Commissioner of Education

An Equal Employment /Educational Opportunity Agency

The Kansas State Board of Education does not discriminate on the basis of sex, race, color, national origin,disability, or age in admission or access to, or treatment or employment in, its programs or activities. Any questionsregarding the Board's compliance with Title VI, Title IX, or Section 504 may be directed to the Title IX Coordinator,

who can be reached at (913) 296-2424, 120 S.E. 10th Avenue, Topeka, Kansas 666612-1182, or to the AssistantSecretary for Civil Rights, U. S. Department of Education.

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