Putting It All Together: Practical Strategies for Making and Keeping the Habits We Desire

Presented by: Dr. Caren Baruch-FeldmanWebsite – www.drbaruchfeldman.com

Email - drcarenfeldman@msn.comScarsdale Library

April 12, 2013

A Little Bit About Me

Before After

Goals for Today1. Quick review of the latest research

in habit building and willpower (based on 4 books).

2. Help you to develop your own positive, new habits.

3. Teach you the secrets of how to maintain these new habits by being more mindful and less impulsive.

Four Books Serve as Inspiration

BAD News/ GOOD News

1. Our brains are lazy. 2. Stress makes us more

susceptible to fall into bad habits.

4. Willpower is a limited resource.

5. Glucose/sugar refuels willpower (ugh).

6. We tend to be short-term as opposed to long-term hedonists.

1. You can build willpower. 2. Since willpower is limited –

need to make into a habit so willpower is not used.

3. Pick gateway habits (write it down, meditation, and exercise).

4. Develop beliefs that will inspire you, focusing on long term goals as opposed to the immediate gratification.

Putting It Into Practice

1. Pick a bad habit to change. 2. Change your beliefs so that you are more mindful

and reflective, focusing on the long term goals as opposed to the immediate gratification.

3. Identify ways to be proactive and mindful.4. Give yourself credit along the way.5. When you get off track, and you will, learn how to

get back on track with limited damage through using response cards.

Let’s Put Our Ideas Into Practice: Bad Habit

1. Write down one bad habit that you would like to work on.

2. What is the cue, routine, and reward for this bad habit?

1. Bad habit to change? Eating cookies after 9pm.

2. What is the cue, routine, and reward for this old habit?Cue = feeling entitled or having a craving. Routine = go into the kitchen for just 1 cookie, but eat many more. Reward = dopamine rush and pleasure from taste of cookie.

Let’s Put Our Ideas Into Practice: New Habit

1. Write down one new habit that you would like to work on.

2. What is the cue, routine, and reward for the new habit?

1. New habit? Staying out of the kitchen after 9pm.

2. What is the cue, routine, and reward of this new habit?Cue = feeling entitled or having a craving. Routine = go into bedroom and drink decaf coffee. Reward = continue to fit into my size 4 pants.

Bad Habit/Good Habit1. Bad Habit to Change?

Getting frustrated with my son when he loses his jacket.

2. What is the Cue, Routine, and Reward of this Old Habit?Cue = Son loses his jacket.Routine = I get frustrated that he has lost another Northface coat. Reward = Get it off my chest and feel better as I’m yelling.

New Habit?Staying calm when my son loses

another Northface jacket.2. What is the Cue, Routine, and

Reward for the New Habit? Cue = Son loses his jacket. Routine = Stay calm and see if we can brainstorm to find it. Reward = Better relationship with my son. Good role model for dealing with frustration.

Changing a Habit is Not Enough: Need to Change the Belief

Sabotaging Beliefs

• Focuses on the here and now.

• Emotionally charged. • Distortions/DelusionsEXAMPLES• Stay away from- “what the

heck phenomena”.• Stay away from thinking your

are doing “good”. • “Your future self, is no better

than your current self.”

Helpful Beliefs• Focuses on the long-term.• More thoughtful and

rational. • Less emotionally charged. EXAMPLES• Stand firm. No wavering.• Remind yourself of the whole

story, not just the beginning.• Seek to be consistent.

What’s Your Sabotaging Beliefs? What’s Your Rational, Helpful Beliefs?

Common Sabotaging Thoughts

• It’s ok to eat this just one time.• Since I cheated a little I might

as well eat whatever I want.• I’m upset, I should be allowed

to eat. • I’ve been so good, I deserve it.• I’m annoyed its ok to be nasty.• I’m right so who cares how I

come across.

Helpful Beliefs• No it’s not ok to eat something I didn’t

plan for. Each time I do, I strengthen my giving-in muscle instead of my resistance ones. If I want to be thin, then I can’t eat when I’m upset.

• I get only a few seconds of pleasure for eating unplanned food, but then I feel bad afterwards. I want to lose weight more than the few seconds of pleasure.

• I deserve to be truly happy, eating cake out of the box is really not going to make me happy in the long run.

• Ultimately does it really matter than I’m right. Is my relationship more important or is being right more important?

Setting Yourself Up For Success: Being Proactive

• Write down the steps to achieving your goal (goal setting and self monitoring).

• Make it easy to be good and hard to be bad.• Avoid triggers.• Identify and pick a distraction or a replacement activity.

Be mindful

• Meditation http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fcdv0kFVMs

• Builds resistance muscles and weakens the giving in muscles.

Give Yourself Credit.

• Give yourself credit for engaging in helpful eating behaviors.

• Write down CREDIT. What is your MAZEL of the day?

Response Cards

• A response card is a tool that helps you change your mindset and overcome sabotaging thoughts.

• Read the card everyday and when you are struggling with a craving, temptation, or sabotaging thought.

• By reading everyday you make this into a habit.

Response Cards to get you started:

1. “Advantage” Card2. “It’s Not Ok” Card

Response Cards to keep you going and when you fall off track:

1. “Oh Well” Card 2. “Get Back on Track”

Card

1st Response Card: Advantage Card

My Advantage Card for Watching My WeightI’ll look better.I’ll be able to wear a smaller size.I’ll be in better health. I’ll feel better physically. I’ll feel more in control.

“It’s Not Ok” Response Card

It’s not ok to go in the kitchen after 9pm. It’s not ok to eat crumbs. Every time I do so I wind up eating more or something that I am not supposed to. I also feel bad afterwards. Even though it does taste good for a few minutes, it is not worth it.It’s not ok to be nasty with my son. I wouldn’t want anyone to talk to me that way even if the other person was right.

Be Accepting:“Oh Well”

• Saying, “oh well” means I don’t like it this, but I’ll accept this and move on.

• True acceptance allows us to relinquish the struggle and allows us to have the energy to focus on what we can control rather than on what we can’t control.

I really feel hungry. Oh well. This is too hard and not fair. Oh well. I wish I could eat what I wanted all the time. Oh well. My son keeps losing his Northface Oh well.

“Get Back on Track” Response Card

Okay I shouldn’t have eaten that… I made a mistake… This one mistake is certainly not going to make me gain weight this week. It’s a million times better to stop now than to allow myself to eat more. I deserve credit for stopping.

Change that Habit Formby Dr. Caren Baruch-Feldman www.drbaruchfeldman.com

1. Gateway Habits (exercise and write it down)? ___2. Stand Firm? ___3. Meditate? ___4. Seek Social Support and/or Make It Public? ___5. Give Myself Credit/Mazel of the Day? ___6. Change My Belief(s)? ___7. Use an Advantage Card? ___8. Make It Easy to Follow My New Habit and Hard to

Follow My Old One? ___9. All of the Above? ___

Last Thoughts• Make it a habit!!! Not enough to just think about these

matters. Need to do it so eventually it will become a habit and muscle memory will be formed.

• Feedback for me.• Small group/individual session forming: weight loss; other

habits – reach out to me at: drcarenfeldman@msn.com for more information.