raquel glottman 1st chapter

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To Jay for believing in me, to my beautiful models, and to Catalina Aluna for the ongoing love and blessings she brings to my life.

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February 15, 2012 Title: OPEN BOOKRaquel Glottman

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Page 1: Raquel Glottman 1st Chapter

To Jay for believing in me,

to my beautiful models,

and to Catalina Aluna for the ongoing love

and blessings she brings to my life.

Page 2: Raquel Glottman 1st Chapter

Raquel Glottman

Page 3: Raquel Glottman 1st Chapter

“A task has been laid out. A challenge, a test of faith”

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September 1

A task has been laid out. A challenge, a test of faith.

A few months ago a friend asked me to write a book. Just like that. My first reaction was a doubtful look that

spelled ‘yeah right.’ Yet he was convinced. I thought it was funny. We are good friends and spend a lot of time

in each other’s company, and this book topic kept popping up. A few weeks later, yet another conversation was

followed by a book contract and a note that read: “I am commissioning you to write a book for nine months. I will

sponsor it. ”

I still thought it was funny, and funny is always welcomed. Besides, as an artist, I’ve always wanted to be commis-

sioned so I went along with it.

“The subject?” I asked.

“You,” was the reply.

I cracked up.

“Really?”

“Yes, what you’ve experienced, what you have learned, but most importantly how you live.”

“Are you serious?”

And then in a solemn way, which I still found funny, he said the words that put gravitational weight to the subject:

“Raquel you can and WILL do it”.

“OK”, I said, agreeing to it light-heartedly.

“Very well then now I ask you to put your current projects on hold and concentrate on your task of this picture/

life-style book you must do, not for me, but for your daughter and yourself. It is time you place all the reading and

past learning to work for you. I have made it my personal mission to give the world Raquel.”

Oh boy!

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“All right Jay, I will do as you request” was my final response, together with a promise that I would send him

everything as I wrote it. Deep inside, I liked the invitation and felt willing to give it a shot for nine months as he

requested. Why not ? I”ll approach it as a creative challenge that might culminate in some form of purposeful

overall vision. So I agreed.

And now here we are. You, anonymously reading this sometime in the future, and me, sitting in front of my com-

puter on a Monday morning, wondering where to begin.

I suppose I should start by formally introducing myself. But why not do things differently?

Let’s begin by introducing one of my dominant personal flaws, since you, as reader, will have to cope with it to

some extent, I introduce to you my very own, individualized and fully accepted ADD. What this means (to me),

and I am playfully flexible with the term, is that my mind is open to multiple influences at once and has the ability

to link one subject to another, leave it, come back to it, go around it, and then link it back through an additional

thread.

I can put it visually as I recently saw this object in Thomas Jefferson’s bedroom at Monticello. Mr. Jefferson had

a revolving book holder that held six books open simultaneously, a good metaphore for a multitasking mind. So,

dear reader, I hope you can bear a little ADD peppered in here and there as a literary style suited to the over-

stimulated contemporary mind of our day.

One of my favorite quotes is ‘Nothing that is human is foreign to me’, the words of the Roman poet Terentius. It

means we are all the same, based on the same palette of emotions, characteristics and reactions. We have all

been sinners and saints, priests and whores, foolish and wise, thieves and donors. My story is your story, your

story is my story, and at the end we are one and the same.

My official name is Rachel Natalia, but I have always gone by Raquel. My spiritual name is Iswari, it was given to

me when I became a certified yoga instructor.

I am in my late thirties, which is a great age. I think at this point I know what my life is about and what I am cut

out for, although some days, we all lose the plot, forget the meaning of existence, and face that nullifying empti-

ness of being....but that is only some days.

Page 6: Raquel Glottman 1st Chapter

One of my favorite quotes is

‘Homo sum; humani nil a me alienum puto’

‘Nothing that is human is foreign to me’( )

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It is said that every seven years our bodies regenerate completely both at a cellular and (by ramification) emo-

tional level. That means I am on my sixth life cycle. I’ve been told I will live long. Eleven life cycles would do.

I currently live in Miami. I am the proud mother of an amazing, five-year-old, gorgeous and brilliant princess-from

the stars named Catalina. Her father, a psychoanalyst, lives in London. We separated when she was eighteen

months old and I’ve been raising her on my own since then.

I think of myself as an artist. I remember at age fifteen deciding that being a photographer was the coolest pos-

sible occupation. This led to a life of taking pictures and experimenting with the medium. I’ve also tried my hand

at sculpting, drawing, making mosaics and even Runes. I’m sure I’ve been an artist before in another life. I could

tell when I put my hands on clay and started to sculpt the human figure. A fellow student at the Art Student

League in NYC where we worked with a live model turned to me after class and said

“I wish I could forget everything I know about sculpture so I could sculpt like you.”

And as I was working one of my first sculptures. I know I’ve been doing this for lifetimes. Artists are born to be

artists.

When I finished highschool my father told me I could study anything as long as I would be committed and dedi-

cated to it. So I studied photography and made it my occupation. Although, if one defines ‘occupation’ as a way

to earn a living, mine widely defeates the purpose. Still, I hope to be an artist for this, and many life times more

to come. It is my prerogative, and I have my father’s blessing. That I don’t care about the financial practicality of

my decision is a mystery, even to myself. Admittedly, it is a bold freedom I allow myself. I probably learned it from

yoga. Not to worry that is. To be trusting and in the moment. Worrying and fear are future-based. In present time

we don’t need to worry or fear anything.

Yoga is a big part of my life. But I wouldn’t say I am a yogi. I do, however, practice asana yoga four to five times

a week. My first lesson was with a humble urban master named Dharma Mitra in Manhattan. I was twenty-five

and was immediately hooked. I remember walking out of that first class on a crispy Sunday morning feeling a joy,

openness, an inner peace I had never felt before. I was filled with inexplicable happiness. I had found the path to

serenity through self-love and self-discovery. Now I can’t conceive of my life without this discipline. Since I became

a certified instructor I have been teaching continuously. But I can’t say I am a yogi, because I am not one all the

time.

Ω

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Basically, I am not fanatic about anything. After all, Buddha, the enlightened one taught ‘The middle way’: a bit of

everything and nothing in extreme. The middle way is my way.

I bartended for ten years while putting myself through art school. I was an art student for a long time making my

way through five different colleges. I studied art for eleven years and would have gladly made studding my profes-

sion, but eventually, after scholarships, graduations, honors and a Master’s degree, it was time to face ‘the real

world!’

I remember on the last day of college asking our art teacher “so what do we do now?”

It was a valid question. We had been making art, putting it up on the wall for critique and then going off to make

some more, ... and that was basically what we knew how to do. “So now what?”

I will never forget our teacher’s response: “If you keep doing it” he said, “it will take you somewhere.”

So I have been following those famous last words, but eventually it didn’t matter if art would take me somewhere

or not. It is just what I do, what holds my attention and challenges my imagination. I don’t make art for recogni-

tion or profit, but because I am absorbed in the process regardless of exposure, success, or plain good sense.

I consider myself a student of life on my own terms. I quest for answers about the reality of reality, longing to find

a satisfactory meaning behind the physical, spiritual, psychic and archetypal realms. My soul craves to understand

the nature of its existence. So, I seek.

To me, there is information and then, there is Exciting Information. Personally, I reach for the Exciting Information

to put my puzzle of understanding together.

I am all up for an evolutionary revolution! I think the world is both in the midst of an exciting renaissance in

technology, arts, sciences and spirituality, yet at the same time, in a collective existential and biological crisis. Big

changes are around the corner. Choosing one’s source of information is a discipline, a commitment to personal

growth. Each one is responsible for his/her own growth. There is no time to waste, of that I am sure.

So, there you have it. I am a self-confessed information-chauvinist. When I am around art I also become a most

despicable art-chauvinist. I am biased with an attitude, but keep my ruthlessness to myself. To me Art is a visceral

Page 9: Raquel Glottman 1st Chapter

instinctual experience; when I am in a gallery or museum I move fast past what doesn’t grab me, waiting expec-

tantly for Art to work its magic and make me stop to take it in with wonder. These encounters with art turn me on.

To share the artist’s wow! And possibly even aha!,–– That’s exciting! That is art at it’s best, moving our emotions,

and stimulating out thoughts and senses.

I was born in Miami, Florida, but raised in Bogota, Colombia. My father is Jewish and my mother Catholic. I have a

ttwin sister. We have an older brother and sister and a younger brother and sister. Sandwiched in this symmetrical

composition, we were once a big family of six children until our oldest brother died at age twenty-three. I was sev-

enteen at the time. He was a casualty of the eighties’ heavy party scene. My older brother was cool, good looking

and wild. He lived fast and died fast. When he passed away I couldn’t understand what had happened. For a long

time I didn’t get it. I was the closest person to him then.

I lived in Bogota until I finished high school and left for Sarah Lawrence college in upstate NY. Back in Colombia

my father’s business was very well known, and bore our last name. As a friend once put it, ‘in Colombia your

name is a brand literally’. But,... my father made some mistakes, as he puts it, and eventually found himself

unable to continue running the business. He lost everything he had andhad to leave the country. The event was a

major national and international ordeal and the reason why we, as a family, unexpectedly found ourselves living in

Israel. Our father’s bankruptcy was a shock. I was in my early twenties when it happened. One of the many ways

my life changed was going from never worrying or thinking about money, to having financial support amount to

whatever was in my pocket. It was like falling into an abyss. Luckily, we, the children, were old enough to take

care of ourselves and pull out our emergency parachutes. Immediately after arriving in Israel my sisters and I set

out to find jobs and made the abrupt transition from over-protected rich society girls, to waitresses in restaurants

in a language we barely spoke.

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The hard part, the real devastating part, was seeing our father go through a tormenting indignity he did not

deserve, and knowing that there were many other families suffering because of his collapse. It was hard and sad,

and some days it still is. Almost twenty years later my father still wakes up at night with nightmares about the

whole ordeal.

But, in many other ways, our family’s fate was a growing opportunity for all of us and pulled us closer together. To

my twenty-something self, it meant goodbye high society, hello world! In my core I never felt any different before

or after the Gold American Express card. Money comes and goes, that I learned fast. Best not to be defined by it.

My brother’s death, my parents’ divorce and my father’s bankruptcy were the three major turbulent events in my

early years.

Being half Jewish and half Catholic also turned out to be a blessing in disguise, although it didn’t seem that way

growing up. We were in a limbo, not Jewish enough for the Jewish community and definitely not Catholic for the

Catholics. An awkward dilemma. In my case, it left me free of religion. They say religion is an instinctual need, yet

no single religion ties me. I like them all. I love celebrating Jewish high holidays and going to Sabbath dinners. I

would never miss Christmas at my mom’s (frankly there is nothing religious about that.) When I practice yoga and

chant in Sanskrit I am in contact with Hinduism; when I go on meditation retreats I tap into my inner Buddhist. In

the Amazon I experience Shamanism, an expanded state of consciousness induced by sacred plants. It is in this

state where I have been able to communicate with nature, time travel, and journey intra-dimensionally, where I

have felt closest to the Divine Creative Spirit, God if you will.

Instead of believing, I prefer to explore. I’d rather discover for myself. And as far as I’ve seen, there are a number

of possibilities, multiple dimensions and answers in different places. Truth is pluralistic and mutable, but the

essence is one.

Having said that, and, as I am observing myself with sincerity, I must add that for whatever reason, when I am on

a plane about to take off I always cover my eyes and pray ‘Shema Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai Echad” (Hear,

Oh Israel God is among us, God is One). I guess this is my way of saying that, in case of emergency, when it

comes down to it, I feel more Jewish that anything else.

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I am left-handed and dyslexic. Luckily, I got specialized help for my dyslexia at a young age because as a kid I

had no clue which direction I was supposed to read or write. Left to right didn’t particularly make more sense than

right to left. I had a lot of moments of doubt on that single matter. ‘Which way is it? How come everyone knows

and I don’t?’ After I figured it out, I was forced to reverse it once again when I had to learn Hebrew in Israel. Now

I have a small tattoo on my right shoulder, now I know.

Had it not been for my dyslexia, being a dancer would have been my first career choice. But that dream crashed

the day I walked out of my last ballet class crying. The teacher was upset at the whole class, but I knew it

was I who made everyone mess up, I who didn’t know which way I was going. It was I who had to accept my

limitations.

My twin sister was named after our Russian great-grandmother. Ours was a natural birth. I am particularly grate-

ful to my mother for that. We were born nine minutes apart. I came out first. Our astrological sign is Libra, the

Balance. Those born under this sign can see both sides of things, though we are not always able to decide which

side to settle for. We can also go from one extreme and then easily go to it’s opposite. Ours is an air sign ruled by

Venus, the planet of love and beauty. In the Chinese calendar we were born in the year of the dog and like dogs,

we are good hearted and loyal and wiggle our tails when happy and bark when annoyed. We rarely bite.

Being a twin is a rare privilege. As a child I felt sorry for all of those who didn’t have one. My twin and I are not

identical and have very different personalities. She is a passionate journalist; A compassionate, interesting, intelli-

gent, and elegant journalis. She is really good at what she does, a first-class professional, yet her greatest feature

is her heart. My twin sister is a genuinely kind and caring human being. She has been my angel many times.

There were moments when I don’t know what I would have done without her support. She is one of my favorite

people in the world, which explains why we chose to be twins. Twinhood is guaranteed time together, with a lot

of complicity, unconditional love and an irresistable sense of humor. Our laughter attacks landed us in occasional

trouble growing up. She is the only one who knows how funny I actually am.

Physically I am five foot six inches tall. Give and take three pounds, my average weight is one hundred and twenty

pounds. I never forget to eat. I love food and don’t necessarily have to be hungry to eat. Most of the time I am

a fish vegetarian and gladly pay the extra buck for organic local produce. I would say I am nutritiously conscious.

I’m the type that loves spirulina, kale and seaweed and grows sprouts at home for salads. It bothers me when I

cut open a fruit and find it is seedless. It makes me think one day someone will eat the last orange, seedless.

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I’ve had two root canals, no surgeries otherwise.

I’ve never been hospitalized.

I have a scar under my left eye, but no memory of how I got it, only my mother’s account of the event, though

she was our of town when it happened. All I know about my scar is that it involved my older brother, a door, and

so much blood they thought my eye had burst.

I never use deodorant, in part, because I don’t mind my own smell. In fact, I rather enjoy it (yet another advan-

tage of a healthy diet), but mainly because chemicals in deodorants are absorbed by the glands and this can

cause cancer. Logic tells me armpits are for sweating, not for clogging.

I’m active and athletic. In addition to yoga, I like running and swimming. I’m not afraid of distances. I run almost

everyday. I also like trekking mountains. My ideal dose is one long trek a year, and small ones whenever possible.

I’ve been nicknamed Rocky and Manzana.

I’ve been told I look like a celebrity actress, but it’s always a different one.

I’ve spent a total of forty-five days in silence.

I’ve visited twenty-five countries but speak only three languages.

Currently I listen to Pimsleur French while driving. No time to waste.

I wish I had better memory and nicer handwriting.

I never wear a watch.

I dislike TV and gossip and find they both lower my vibration.

I am inept at telling lies.

My favorite word is clarity.

My least favorite word is cellulite.

I breast fed my daughter for a year and a half.

I will never own a diamond because I made a vow, during rough times as a single mother, that if I was ever given

one I would sell it and personally hand out the money to mothers in need.

I admire people with knowledge, but mostly, I admire integrity.

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One of my goals is to master time. But to claim my eternity I still need to learn to surpass the limitations of linear

time. On a more practical level, to master linear time I probably need to be more effective.

My other big goal is to de-condition my mind. To free it from habits, programming, indoctrination and mostly

judgments.

I believe in reincarnation. I accept the existence of other cosmic beings.

Once I saw Jesus in a dream. I dreamt I was walking on an empty road when I found a house. Jesus opened the

door and welcomed me in. He was beautiful and had a a hippy flare to him, he radiated compassionate love and

kindness. The house had many rooms and was full of other good-hearted, good-looking individuals. I was in the

house of love. I woke up feeling blessed and touched by grace.

Speaking of Jesus, I’ve concluded that everyone has a cross to bear. Big or small, we all have something we need

to work out. Nobody goes through life without at least one mightily ordained lesson to unravel.

I am aware of the 2012 prophesies. I believe that once this information is understood, preparing for this shift

becomes a priority! I’d like to humbly share what I’ve understood thus far regarding the the subject of cosmic

alignment, ascension of consciousness and the ancient time keeper’s prophesies. For what can be more fascinating

than understanding where the cosmic clock stands?! In the big picture we are an evolving human species living

in vibrational unison within the intelligent organism that is our Planet, Earth Mother, who is also part of a larger

evolutionary plan.

Our planet is currently entering the Age of Aquarius represented by the man with the water pitcher. In this new

age, the Messiah, the great savor is you. In the new Age we are meant to awaken to the realization that God is

not somewhere else. Those of us alive today are the awaited ones from the prophesy. It is no coincidence and no

small occurrence to be here now at the cusp of an age and the death of an era. Ours is the generation that will go

through the before and after. That means, you and me, in our lifetime, will have the memory and experience of

the past together with the memory and experience of the future. And now, right now, we stand in that pin head

moment in time, just, just, just before, with the vision, the intuition, the possibility, the entire transformation in our

hands, just a heart beat away.

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`My favourite word is Clarity´.( )

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Recently, I was given the most valuable and simple advice: “Don’t judge anything or anyone and your life will

change completely.”

I try to follow this suggestion, but judging is a stubborn little habit to break. Yet, it’s when we don’t judge that we

get to see the truth of situations and people as they are. When we judge we limit, pass sentence and get trapped

in our own ignorant one-pointed view, not letting people be who they are, missing them, and the entire point of

the encounter all together.

I wonder... could I ask you, reader, to try to leaf through these pages without judging me?

May I safely be an open book?

For I am just another woman, not perfect, not an example, not better or right. Just me, today, right now, sharing

as is.

Lets release ourselves and others from the prison of our judgments and instead open up to discover the unique

universe each one of us holds. Or, at least, lets try!

My intention here is simply to share who I am with honesty, though, one does have to wonder where is honesty

when memory is so selective? What are facts but accounts of the way we remember, and truth the angle we

remember them from?

So, there it is. The introduction to me.The first step.

Which leaves me wondering what’s next?

I guess I’ll find out when I sit again here tomorrow.

Writing will be like going for a walk, one step at a time.