“Faces of Change: Photographs by Nick Vedros” opens Nov. 20 and continues through Feb. 7 at the Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art, 4420 Warwick Blvd. Hours are 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Tuesday-Thursday; 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. Friday and Saturday; 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday. Admission is free.

REACHING OUT FROM WITHIN

Art Exhibition In Kansas City

Features 22 Members

An exhibition showcasing inmates of Kansas ROFW

groups opens on November 20, 2015 at the Kemper

Museum of Contemporary Art.

Nick Vedros, a KC based photographer with a list of

high profile clients including Coca Cola and

Microsoft, says that he was “enlightened” by the

experience according to a feature in the September

issue of KC Studio Magazine. Vedros is quoted as

saying “The inmates in the medium and maximum

security groups were intelligent, articulate, quick-

witted, welcoming, sincere, and affectionate—all the

characteristics I cherish in my circle of friends.” After

Vedros went to Lansing to observe a group, he was

inspired to help. “Here’s this local organization

working in prisons to make the world a better place,

and I wondered if anyone had put a face on it.”

SuEllen Fried says of the B&W portraits, “My hope is

that the exhibit will give people a different idea

about those who are serving time in prison. I hope

they will be seen as people, instead of just someone

who committed a crime.“

“Faces of Change: Photographs by Nick Vedros” opens Nov. 20

and continues through February 7 at the Kemper Museum of

Contemporary Art. In Kansas City, Missouri. 2

Grief and Loss

Do you still remember clearly your experience in

the events leading to your incarceration? Can you

still recall, in you shell-shocked or drug induced

frame of mind, your reluctant road through pro-

cessing? The pictures, fingerprinting, strip

searches, and standard issue wardrobe? What

about your assignment to a 6x10 with no windows,

a solid metal door devoid of any signs of humanity,

and of course, the ever present stainless steel toi-

let/sink combo? In various degrees of severity our

lives have ben unceremoniously wrenched from

our grasp as we are transferred from a world full of

vivid color and life to one of cold, hard steel and

concrete.

Now, as that door slams shut behind you with an

echo of sudden finality, and the realization of your

situation sets in, you sit down on your pathetic ex-

cuse for a bed, mostly concrete, with your head in

your hand, and try to figure out what went wrong.

Did you start singing the “I don’t belong here,” the

“it’s not my fault,” or the “why me” blues? Did you

lay in your bunk late at night, using every ounce of

energy you had to try and think of a way to weasel

out of accepting responsibility for your actions?

Are you still to this day, fabricating excuses?

So now you find yourself in a whole new world. A

world that feeds off of hate and violence. A place

that’s lightning quick to expose any form of

weakness and extort it for all it’s worth. You’re

forced to adapt. You begin to harden yourself to

this new existence as the memories of a past life

slowly begin to fade into oblivion. You harden, not

just your body, but your mind and soul as well.

Preparations begin, and you learn to adhere to the

rules of confinement, both written and unwritten,

because survival is now the only priority for you.

Continued on Page 11.

Inside & Out

Published for the benefit of ROFW members by

Reaching Out From Within

P.0. Box 8527

Prairie Village, KS 66208

913-428-9770 www.rofw.org

Articles, comments and questions may be sent to the above ad-

dress or to: jasondmiles@att.net

3

The Prison

We want them to be responsible,

So , we take away all their responsibilities.

We want them to be a part of our community,

So we isolate them from our community.

We want them to be positive and constructive,

So we degrade them and make them useless.

We want them to be trustworthy,

So we put them where there is no trust.

W want them to be nonviolent,

So we put them where there is violence all around them.

We want them to be kind and loving people,

So we subject them to hatred and cruelty.

We want them to quit being the “tough” group,

So we put them where the “tough” guy is respected.

We want them to quit hanging out around losers,

So we put all the losers in the state under one roof.

We want them to quit exploiting us,

So we put them where they are exploited.

We want them to take control of their lives,

solve their problems, and

quit being a parasite,

So we make them totally dependent on us.

-By: District Court Judge Dennis A. Challeen

Prison is a place to learn your feelings and others

To stand up or shut up

To be strong or weak

To stand on your own two feet

Where the SARP program is alive and doing well.

-Rhonda L.

Prison is a place where you dream about lacy bras.

-Shona P.

Prison is a place where you are broken down to be built back up.

-Angela E.

Prison is a place where we come in as pieces to be glued back together.

-Kim B.

Prison is a place where time stands still for some,

You can learn to do things right.

-Cassie R.

Prison is a place…

That strips all liberties from us and makes us real-ize what we took for granted!

To dwell on the past or work on the future!

Where you are at a standstill but the world con-tinues moving without you.

Prison is a place that can save your life.

-Alex B.

Prison is a place where I witness women of hope and faith face their troubles to make a better life for their children and themselves.

-Sky W.

Submitted from Inmates at Topeka.

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01

5

Speakers at Lansing East Summit were alumni

Reggie Pennington and Steve Beem.

Group Updates

PRISON IS A PLACE… where you meet different people and learn more

about yourself. If given the opportunity, you help yourself.

4

EL DORADO-Reaching Out From Within is a non-

violence, self-help, coping skills program, created by incarcerated men, with the help of dedicated professionals.

Greg Musselman, one of the founders once wrote, "I knew I needed to start putting the pieces back together. I made a choice of live, to live for the right reasons. To put the past behind me, to deal with the hurt and poor image of my self and start growing in a positive direction."

This is what "NOT" giving up looks like. This is what the first step into R.O.F.W. looks like.

This year has been very productive. As Program Chairman, R.O.F.W. offers six thought provoking, comprehensive self-help classes, such as: As A Man Thinketh, The Ten Scrolls, Think Big, Mentor, The Kid and the CEO, NA/AA 12 Step Study Group, and The Quest for Authentic Manhood. Our classes are effective and en-couraging with over 100 participants, and a completion rate of 67% .

R.O.F.W has made history in 2015 with its events for general population that were firsts for E.D.C.F presented bv offenders. On February 25, R.O.F.W presented the first ever Black History Month Event, "The Eagle In Me" to acknowledge the accomplishments of African-American Pioneers of America. In May R.O.F.W. was approved to present the first ever Mother’s Day Event, "My Mother Moment" by offenders to promote awareness of our mother’s sacrifices and inspire change to be more sensitive to all mother roles and efforts. And June 1, marked the Father’s Day “Right’s of Passage" event to encourage the fathers of E.D.C.F. to be in-volved with their children, by showing them the honor of being a father. With 145 that signed up and 110 in attendance, as well as a dozen staff members, R.O.F.W. has shown "WE" are in-tune with our peers and seek to address their needs.

R.O.F.W. 2015 programs and self-help classes and outreach events are ALL aimed to awaken us to our personal purpose, expose us to reliable resources, and without a doubt, champion us with engaging encouragement.

And the year is not over YET! -Scott B.

From the El Dorado Correctional Facility Chapter of Reaching Out From Within Fundraising department:

We would like to report that the last sale was a success. I would like to thank all the people who participated in helping make the sale a success. I would also like to extend my gratitude to all the members who helped me in all aspects of the sale. We will continue to move forward and provide what you want and need. Thanks again.

-Marcus W.

Spotlight on Alums:

ELLSWORTH-Ellsworth Correctional Facility’s ROFW Group sends its greetings to all of our colleagues throughout Kansas and North Carolina. As we approach the midpoint of the year, we would like to give thanks to our former board members and recognize the new ones. For our exiting board members, we would like to express our gratitude for your selfless contributions to our group. Your leadership and guidance has been pivotal in creating a lasting impression within ECF and our community. We would also like to give thanks to our new board members for stepping up into positions of leadership and accepting those responsibilities. We have every faith that you will expand our horizons and set a positive example for future members. Our election results went as follows: Chairman-Eddie S., Co-Chairman-Patrick U., Secretary-Vincent R., Treasurer-Dewayne C., Librarian-Franklin W., Newsletter Editor-Michael D., and St. of Arms-Richard J. The past year has been crucial in establishing a solid foundation for our group here and all of our members have played a fundamental part in doing so. We truly believe that by following the goals and beliefs set forth within our Blue Book, our actions will influence the general inmate community and inspire those that desire a positive self-change. We would also like to thank our volunteer Mr. Mike Warforad for his insights and dedication to our group. His contributions have been essential in continuing growth and development of our group and for that we are eternally grateful. As we conclude our section on conflict and enter into the subject of respect we continue to seek new and inventive ways to reach out to our community and increase everyone's knowledge of what ROFW is all about. In conclusion, we would like to share a quote from one of our members, Mr. Vernon G. He states that “if you know better and can do better but don’t, then you’re no better.” Until next time, take care and never give up.

-Michael D.

HUTCHINSON (HCF-East) -Within the mind I conclude a unspoken question that triggers a gun play of rhymes. Whereforth might I go to greet understanding speechless sounds float across the golden sea. Magnetic fields bomb shell inside a group of men standing tall. Arise, arise! As the bold hearted quotes ensure a positive change.

Passion begins to introduce a relief of pain of outlaws that recapture The Blue Book “Words of Power” which follow by an unseen movement that impacts a notable spirit. Reaching out from within.

In a meeting place of 35, the mighty voices outburst a quake reaction which trembles a shift in 2012 of consciousness. Behold the key of success which injects a double-edged gleam of confidence. A force of might which embraces the optimist creed.

And if you live them, you will be successful.

-Michael R.

LARNED- Recently in the Central Unit chapter of R.O.F.W. we have introduced more “Ted Talks” and have had many great discussions on emotions and conflict. People are open, honest, and respectful, they are always willing to try and help with a kind word or supportive feedback. We had a member of ours put together an amazing power point for our discussion on GRIEF. It went very well . Almost every person had a story to share and I believe it touched just about everyone in the group. The warden at our facility wants us to start working with the West Unit chapter to collaborate and build a stronger foundation. As far as I can tell everyone is open and responsive to this plan. We donated to Helping Hands and R.O.F.W. Central Office this month. With that I’ll close. Stay peaceful and true to what really matters.

-L.C.M.H.F. Central Unit Chapter

5

NORTON-Greeting dear readers from the Norton

chapter of Reaching Out From Within. Just a quick few words to update you all on what we are up to on our end of the state. We have made a few changes that we are excited about and that we be-lieve will enable us to grow as a group. We hope these changes will allow us to do more for the members of Reaching Out, for our facility as a who, and for the outside community.

It all began a few months back when our numbers for the call out were lowere than expected. We de-cided to have an Open House to get the word out on what Reaching Out From Within is all about. The Open House was a great success and we were able to welcome many new members.

Next, we took a close look at our board. Many of our board members were close to moving on from Norton and a few positions were left unfilled. Although it is customary to hold elections on October 1st, we decided to do so early due to these special circumstances. Many board members re-tained their positions but a few new faces were added. We now have a full boar and a great group of new members to back us up.

With the addition of so many new members, our chapters feels reinvigorated. We are all working on new ideas to raise funds for the community while still focusing on the individuals of our group and making sure we relate inmate issues to the Reaching Out program.

We are all motivated to not only grow but make this group something truly special. Without question, we will succeed. On further note; to those members about to leave, we wish you all of life’s best. Take the lessons you learned from Reaching Out From Within and contin-ue to reach out to others. Godspeed to you all.

-B. Olesen

Group Updates

6

PRISON IS A PLACE… where we can do positive or negative time, with the choice to deal with our problems or not.

-The Blue Book

LANSING-Greetings to those who work to bring

about change, both within and without. Recently, Michael B. gave a facilitation on "Death, Dying and Forgiveness," using sections of the Blue Book. His facilitations are always engaging, thought provoking, and (depending on the quality of what each member contributes to the discussion) life changing. It was a profound meeting experience.

Our board of officers is trying to determine what the elements of profound meeting experience are. The questions we ask ourselves are: How can we help and encourage those around us to seek new understandings that will influence our lives for the better? How do we better promote active participation? How can we engender the courage and motivation to release the old and open our-selves to higher possibilities?

Marianne Williamson wrote: "It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We are all meant to shine. . . And, as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."

The spirit of ROFW is that we are bearers of light, whose example as active participants of change gives other people permission to do the same. What are the practical means of bearing our light to others? How do we engender the change that serves as permission for others to do the same? By working through our own defects. By being authentic and sincere in our humanity.

To my companions in humanity, I love you all and wish you the very best in your continued work. Re-member that even in the most difficult of struggles, ROFW and its members will always be there for you. Until next time, believe that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

-Barry S.

Group Updates

STOCKTON– Hello from Stockton ROFW Group. I

am a new member to the group and just completed

my icebreaker. As I learn about ROFW’s motto, I

have to say this is a ver effective group. As I read

the monthly newsletters, my mind races with its

own ideas and possibilities for ROFW to achieve.

Stockton ROFW is a strong, proud, positive group

that is growing in members. With 12 members that

is 10% of our population that has decided on their

own to change their life. Our participation on our

Blue Book topics is very impressive. We have new

members that are extremely involved and

appreciate the values of the Blue Book. With the

help of our veteran members, we are learning

about our “toolbox” and adding tools with every

meeting. We have been devoting a little time every

meeting to ’How to’ gain at least one sponsor. We

are even reaching out to our own families to see if

they can help us with tools they have that we don’t

have like the internet!

We are very determined to gain at least one

sponsor, and have ideas to attract new members.

We want to say thank you to all the other ROFW

groups for their participation and say…

Keep you heads up. Because we surely are.

-Adam A.

TOPEKA-This is from the E Dorm ROFW group. Our

unique group consists of five members. These

ladies are also members of SARP, which is the

Substance Abuse Recovery Program. This is an

intense six month treatment. We are segregated

from the general populations. We live with the 20

inmates in the program. Every week, the five

woman that meet in ROFW share with each other

what the blue book means to us and what we mean

to The Blue Book. Our group wants to express that

ROFW is important to us. We enjoy what is offered

and what we get out and put into it. What Tuesday

ROFW means to us is the opportunity to talk and

reflect about our struggles in a safe, comfortable,

and supportive group. We feel a true security

system that has been built around us.

When we have a new person join the group, the

members of the group provide an overview about

the program including the importance of

confidentiality, sharing stories through the ice-

breaker, all contributing to the discussions, and

earning The Blue Book. The participation in the

intensive six month substance abuse recovery

program is often difficult and very emotional. In an

effort to support the women in treatment through

their graduation, they are then permitted to keep

The Blue Book as their own. We are proud to say

that most of our members have graduated and

have moved to the next steps in preparing to return

to their communities.

We like to read “Prison is a Place” and talk about

the statements. Some statements bring laughter,

many cause nods of agreement, some seem sad,

and most suggest belief in oneself. The women

were asked to make their own statements.

-Sky W.

Read the statements on Page 3.

Members of the Stockton ROFW Group.

7

The truth. A beautiful and ugly thing. So therefore, it should

be used with great caution. But you must forgive yourself

for not lying. Even to yourself. -F.White, Lansing Central

WINFIELD-On behalf of all the board members of Reaching Out From Within "WINFIELD CHAPTER", We would all like to take a minute and just give a big "THANK YOU" to our Administration staff here for

backing our group, mainly in all the goals we set, and all the accomplishments we make together.

Winfield's chapter Of Reaching Out From Within, is one striving to be a State model in both innovation and creativity towards the goals set fourth by Reach-ing Out From Within's founders Miss

SuEllen Fried, a Kansas Department of Corrections volunteer since 1977, along with Mr. Greg Musselman, who was also incarcerated for 23 years. He then spent his next 12 years, even while on post release supervision, Ispreading the hope that offenders can make a difference}, not only while in prison, but more importantly "Outside Prison Wall's". All this is made possible for us through, and from this groups sincere support for true empowerment for positive self change, helping each of us to better make positive connections in our future community relationships from our open discussions that pertain to such areas that may cause one to stumble in his new found way Of life, to helping someone working on a possible foreseeable barrier in here, or even once released, or maybe even something that is currently affecting a loved ones life on the outside.

Here at Winfield, our main focus is also "STOPPING THE VIOLENCE", But our innovation and creativity is broadened through education of both On Site & Off Site - speaking engagements with College Students, High School Students, Dare Camps, and Community Learning Centers, whom need the added support system that we can offer them as we offer up and share our personal stories to let them know that they don't have to travel down certain roads in their lives & wind up in a similar situation as us.

I also want to say it is so heart warming, as well as a true pleasure to see so many new faces taking part in such a revolutionary organization as our Reaching Out From Within program. Even as new members you will quickly become recognized as someone that wants to make a difference in your own lives, striving most towards your own successful futures.

Please keep up your great efforts and continue returning as you are an important part of our group. For the new comers, studies have shown that members that attend fifty consecutive meetings, these members have a 7% or less recidivism rate, and they leave prison with a much better attitude on life. As you probably know, to become a member you only need to attend Ten consecutive meetings, and after Ten consecutive meeting's you will receive a copy of the Reaching Out From Within "Blue Book".

Our group would like to share with you some say-ings to further ponder:

"Great accomplishments often have humble starts... Henry Ford forgot to include a reverse gear with his first car". — Unknown

"A person often meets destiny on the road taken to avoid it". — Unknown

"A champion —Is someone who gets up ...when he can't". — Jack Dempsey

"Think of all the beauty still left around you and "BE HAPPY". —Anne Frank

"Ask any woodpecker, you can't make progress without using your head". — Unknown

Sincerely,

Mark Fraley — Newsletter Editor

And The Men Of Winfield's ROFW

Group Updates

8

A Learning Community

By Lynn Hinkle, Executive Director

As I experience the individual groups of Reaching Out

From Within on a weekly basis, I see how powerful is

the community created within each facility. The warm

welcome, honest interaction, and raw intensity of

these meetings has changed me and taught me to

view criminal justice through a more clear and

compassionate lens.

Recently a group of interns at Bernstein/Rein made it

their project to look at rebranding of our organization

to make our communications fresher and more

dynamic. Their insights after visiting both men’s and

women’s groups, was that this curriculum, the Blue

Book, creates a “learning community". And like any

learning community, our groups share common

rituals, resource materials, and leadership skills.

Members learn to help each other with honesty and

compassion. As Gaston, Paige and Amber noted, “You

get out of it as much as you put into it.”

Through this process, we have been reintroduced to

the powerful and impactful elements of this

organization, which started 33 years ago when a

Annual Picnic

Sunday, September 27, 2015

2:00 until 4:00 p.m.

Wyandotte County Park-Shelter C

State Avenue & 126th Street

Bonner Springs, Kansas

Please bring a side dish, soda pop, or dessert.

member of the Lifer’s Club at Lansing reached out to

partner with SuEllen Fried in an effort to learn more

about the roots of violence.

That thirst for knowledge has grown into an organization

that operates in every prison in Kansas, and is growing

stronger in North Carolina and soon, other states.

We are an organization facing changes of our own. And

one thing we know for sure: It takes courage to change.

When a new member in our learning community stands

up before the group to do an icebreaker, we are

witnessing courage. I see courage on display when our

alumni struggle to help themselves, and when they dig

deep inside themselves to help each other. I am inspired

by the personal strength and determination of men and

women who still face years of incarceration, and yet,

they show up week after week to learn more about

themselves and in the process, become better members

of their community.

We have begun a new process, an organizing theme for

our bi-monthly newsletter. In July it was “Freedom”. In

September, “Community”. The theme of the November

newsletter will be “Gratitude”. I am very grateful to all of

our newsletter editors who work hard to submit items to

us by our deadline, and to our dedicated volunteers who

serve as a bridge. Please let me know if you have ideas

for future improvements to our organization, our

curriculum, and our newsletter.

9

Dear Friends and Colleagues:

Community! What an exciting concept to have as a theme for this newsletter! The mere sound of this word immediately brings to mind this powerful program that is entwined in our souls. For thirty-three years we've created a bond with each other that transcends all frustrations and issues. Recently, Jason, Lynn and I visited North Carolina to celebrate the second anniversary of our transplantation there. We were greeted with music, essays, poems, songs, food, and dances ( yes! dances) at Brown Creek.

Pat, Bob and Nancy Barker Johns, our blessed Foundation funders attended. Jerry De Roche, Chairman of our N.C. Partnership and masterful chauffeur, and Larry Sarratt who orchestrated the events and meetings with the incredible NCDPS staff, inspired us all.

We also had the pleasure of visiting our newest group at the Craven Correctional Facility in N.C., thanks to our Kansas transplant and intrepid volunteer, Mitch Crain, and Teresa Wolf, the new executive director of the Bob Barker Foundation.

No matter where, when or how a ROFW group emerges, a magical community emerges. For instance, the original members of the Craven group were chosen by the staff at the facility.

The skeptical men had no idea why or how they were chosen but Greg Mussleman's ingenious Blue Book continues to prevail. The raw, real and relevant topics along with Greg's daunting, provocative, relentless questions in italics have the awesome power to create an extraordinary community.

Only a community that is so empowering, so potent, so trusting, and with such a willingness to be vulnerable could accomplish this phenomenon. YOU courageous men and women make it happen week after week after week.

Whenever I take a visitor to witness one of our intimate sessions, on the way home they invariably express a wish to be part of such an extraordinary community in their own geographical community. That is my dream - someday this incredible Blue Book will give anyone, anywhere the opportunity to be part of a magical community to experience the courage to change.

-SuEllen

Second Chance

When growing up, I was placed in foster care

because my biological mother and father were

deceased. I was alone, and didn’t have any family

members in my life. I was molested twice by my

foster parents, and he threatened to kill me if I told

anyone about it. Then it happened again in a

different foster home. I started to feel that nobody

loved me and I ran away.

When I was 10 years old, I was homeless and living

on the streets, doing drugs and alcohol. At age 11, I

joined a gang for acceptance, love and responsibility.

Several times I have tried to take my own life, due to

loneliness and rejection. But since I have been in-

volved in Reaching Out From Within the past three

years, I have been loved, cared for and accepted. I

have a family now—and I feel like this organization

saved me.

I’m very appreciative of what Reaching Out From

Within has given me, to help turn my past around

and to strengthen me for the future.

-Zachary T.H.

Letter from SuEllen Fried

In North Carolina for the 2nd Annual Recognition Dinner at Brown Creek with Jason Miles, Lynn Hinkle, Mary Ward of the NC Dept. of Public Safety, and SuEllen Fried.

10

Like us on Facebook!

ROFW has a new Facebook page

(www.facebook.com/reachinmates) For

those of you who receive this newsletter as alumni,

volunteers, or supporters, and who have internet

access, please visit our Facebook page and click

the button for "like it."

11

PRISON IS A PLACE...where you grow up and are

raised by thieves, where a caged spirit becomes

free. –Blue Book, Chapter 5

L to R: Larry Sarratt, volunteer coordinator in Charlotte, SuEllen Fried, Jerry DeRoche, former director of the Bob Barker Foundation, (now retired and helping us grow our NC program), and Jason Miles.

The dictionary describes community as “a feeling of

fellowship with others, as a result of sharing

common attitudes, interests, and goals.”

Last week SuEllen, Lynn, and I spent two days in

North Carolina visiting the three groups there. It is

always a privilege to travel there and experience

Reaching Out From Within in another state. The

faces are different but the desire to be better, to be

more than our crime and to give back is always

present in any group I visit.

I feel a sense of community with everyone in our

Reaching Out From Within groups. We have a

sacred circle that we are all a part of. With the

Courage to Change we move forward together, no

matter how far apart we are. I have always wanted

to be a part of something sacred and I have found

that with all of you. The change in me honors the

change in you. -Jason

Letter from Jason Miles, Board President

Grief & Loss-Continued from Page 2

You now live in a nightmare, a hate factory. You

live a life of mental torture the human spirit is not

equipped to survive. You are forced to endure.

Welcome to life in prison.

What most of us have failed to comprehend

though is the effects of our incarceration on the

other side of the glass. We all have different

scenarios, different circumstances behind our

incarceration, but the fact of the matter is that our

arrest and subsequent prison sentence has proba-

bly had a more profound impact on our family and

loved ones, than it’s had on us, especially our

wives and children. Let me put this in perspective.

Have you ever sat back and imagined the numbing

shock your spouse felt when visiting you in jail?

Can you feel the excruciating ache in her stomach

as she thinks about you in prison locked away from

her? If you close your eyes, can you still hear the

loud, unrestrained sobbing emanating from her as

your sentence is announced? Can you visualize her

last image of you being led from the courtroom by

deputies, handcuffed and shackled in your orange

jumpsuit?

Furthermore, what do you think happens when

she gets home? A home she can no longer afford

to keep, as she opens the door, walks into an

empty, silent house and the sudden weight of your

choices comes crashing down on her. Can you feel

the pain you have forced upon her?

Continued on Page 12

Grief & Loss-Continued from Page 10.

What gives you the right to be so selfish? What did she

ever do to deserve this? What is she to do now that the

man she dedicated her life to, the man she shared

solemn vows before od with, has been suddenly and

violently taken from her life? Do those vows mean

nothing to you? How can anyone truly know what she

going through as her hopes begin to fade? The horrors

of life without her husband start to add up, the friends

she thought she had begin to shun her because she re-

fuses to let you go, and it’s starting to feel as if this

nightmare will never end. What happens when she

starts to doubt if she even has the strength to get out of

bed, or worse yet, when she loses faith in God because

the only thing she prays for is for her husband to come

home, but the reality is, that it’s not going to happen, at

least not anytime soon. The only thing that can possibly

make matters worse, is to compound all of this stress,

worry, pressure, and emotion and then place that over

our children’s heads too. What does her face, better

yet, what does her soul look like as she places your kids

in their beds at night and they start asking about where

Daddy is? Doesn’t seem like you got it all that bad now,

does it?

So now what is to become of us? Do we submit to the

system and allow ourselves to be swallowed up by the

never ending monotony of prison and its various

politics? Do we accept our surrounding and slowly

deteriorate from a human being into just another gov-

ernment statistic? Or do we allow our situations to

overwhelm our minds and attempt to drown away the

pain in self-imposed medications designed to make us

complacent that are always readily available? When do

we finally step back, take a deep breath and say,

“enough is enough,” to quit lying to ourselves and take

a good long look inside us to figure out who we really

are?

When do we swallow our pride, admit our

weaknesses, and transition into the men our

wives and families know we can be, not the ones

they expect us to be? We have all made

mistakes, some more severe than others. But we

cannot allow our past mistakes to dictate who we

are. We cannot allow ourselves to fall into a

complacent existence. We must stop swimming

in self-pity and step up into our new roles as

leaders and mentors as well as our old ones as

fathers and husbands. We must reach out from

within the inner depths of our being and do

everything in our power to make sure that as

many people as possible hear our stories, hear

our testimonies, and hopefully learn from our

mistakes and shortcomings so that they don’t

make those same mistakes. We must not give up

hope. We cannot afford to fail because it’s not

our lives we need to save anymore, but our

wives, our family’s, and most importantly, our

children’s lives.

In conclusion, I will leave you with these words of

wisdom. First, the truth does not cease to exist

when it is ignored. Secondly, death is not the

greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies

inside you while you’re still alive. Lastly, don’t

make excuses, make solutions. Never give up,

never stop caring, because the story within you is

worth more than you can ever imagine.

-Michael J. Dannenberg, Jr.

Ellsworth Correctional Facility Chapter

Reaching Out From Within

12