reflections on philosophy camp:€¦ · web viewreflections on philosophy camp: my process of...

Reflections on Philosophy Camp:

My process of discovery, unlearning, and recovering the sacred in self and community

Jillian Stein

What is rooted is easy to nourish.What is recent is easy to correct.What is brittle is easy to break.What is small is easy to scatter.

Prevent trouble before it arises.Put things in order before they exist.

The giant pine treegrows from a tiny sprout.

The journey of a thousand milesstarts from beneath your feet.

Rushing into action, you fail.Trying to grasp things, you lose them.

Forcing a project to completion,you ruin what was almost ripe.

Therefore the Master takes actionby letting things take their course.

He remains as calmat the end as at the beginning.

He has nothing,thus has nothing to lose.

What he desires is non-desire;what he learns is to unlearn.

He simply reminds peopleof who they have always been.

He cares about nothing but the Tao.Thus he can care for all things.

-Lao Tzu

Jill SteinJuly 9, 2011

2

Reflections on Lives Worth Living, 2011

I have recently been reading about the indigenous Mayan

cultures in Guatemala, and came across some material that

resonated with me as I try to put my thoughts and experiences

regarding Philosophy Camp to paper. There are few written

texts describing Mayan traditions and ways of life, and this is not

by accident. The Mayan people know that people write things

down, not so much to remember them, but to ensure they don’t

have to. To forget something is to dishonor it, and let it die.

Therefore, anything worth remembering was never committed to

writing. Instead, a rich and nuanced oral tradition flourished,

and perhaps is part of the reason why the Guatemalan culture

has maintained a real magical and sacred quality to it. The

spoken word contains depths that the written word simply

cannot capture. It also inherently involves a community; the

company of others, the sharing of stories (and often food), voices

raised in laughter or song, heartbreak and heroism, the deep

listening to your friends and neighbors, and the recalling your

own tales are all elements of a rich oral tradition. How do you

begin to capture these experiences on paper? How can words


3flat on a page describe the depths that they touched your soul?

Ultimately, one must try to do so. It is important because others

in the world need to know that these places and experiences

exist and are possible to have for themselves and their

communities. It is important to share things with a soul in as

many mediums as possible. It is also necessary because while

the writing process may filter out some of the magic and mystery

and spontaneity of a memory, it also concentrates it and forces

the writer to reflect in a more deliberate and focused way. This

is where I find myself now, with two years and countless

moments spent within the special fold of Philosophy Camp.

There are so many essays for me to write regarding my

two-year love affair with the course Lives Worth Living:

Questions of Self, Vocation, and Community, and perhaps I will

write them all one day. I could fill pages about its origins, The

Danish Folk School tradition, the Reggio-Emilia preschools, and

the Highlander Folk School. I have done this, in part, in other

courses and will continue to seek knowledge on how these

educational models have crafted real social change, one student

at a time. Singing, dancing, and arts and crafts are

acknowledged as a necessary part of an education. At Philosophy


4Camp, the collaborative use of the kitchen space and food

preparation, along with the group meals, is a major source of

enriched learning during the course. There are no tests, the

teachers live with the students, and each day adds another layer

of reflection on what a life worth living means to the community.

The environmental setting is seen as the third teacher, and I am

certain that the prairie and residential experience at Shalom Hill

Farms is perhaps the most powerful influence for creating the

community connection found at Philosophy Camp. The beautiful

scenery also gives people the opportunity to experience solitude

in nature, providing another avenue towards sensory encounters

and meditative reflection.

Since The Long Haul was first given to me before my first

experience as a Philosophy Camp student, I have been

encouraged by the story and leadership of Myles Horton and saw

Highlander as a representation of social justice that made sense

to me, because it is about people and not abstract social ills.

Myles Horton is pure inspiration for me; a brilliant leader who

was able to stay true to his roots, not letting himself get swayed

by the resources and prestige of powerful institutions and

dedicating his life to giving disenfranchised people their own


5voices back. He didn’t say, “We are going to end segregation,”

but he invited white people and Black people together into the

kind of environment that would allow real conversations to flow.

Out of those conversations came a sense of purpose and a

community of support that allowed a shift in their perspective

and a newfound confidence to create change at home. Myles

Horton didn’t have an agenda or proposed outcomes, but trusted

that the process of people sharing spaces and sharing stories

would provide the kind of reflection that makes people unable to

accommodate their oppressive conditions any longer. I think this

largely has to do with being given a sense of worth and value,

and feeling respected for one’s ideas and life experiences.

Philosophy Camp does this for people, within the storycircles

especially, but the overall notion of nearly unconditional

acceptance invites people to let down their guards and see

themselves as people with real knowledge and contributions to

give back to their communities.

I connect with Myles Horton’s philosophy of social change

because emerges from a realization of the whole person, not

necessarily the issues at hand. This makes it timelessly relevant.

Unlike a lot of social movement approaches, I do not see


6Horton’s as trying to assemble a faceless army to grind change

out through sheer numbers and force of will. Horton’s kind of

education, which is inherently process-focused rather than

outcome-driven, is much more radical because it restores dignity

to the everyday lived experience. This restoration leads to a

sense of self that can navigate the complex world with a kind of

authenticity that will naturally lead towards a life worth living,

and the kinds of social and moral choices that accompany that.

Philosophy Camp does not indoctrinate its students with any one

viewpoint or dogma, but trusts that each person has the capacity

to decide for him or herself what is right and wrong, valuable

and empty. This kind of respect takes people off guard at the

beginning, I think, because we are used to being told how to

think, what hoops to jump through to succeed, who to emulate,

and what to change about ourselves. The single biggest

realization for me at Philosophy Camp this year was that the

only way I would ever become the kind of person I hoped to

become was if I stopped trying to be just like the people I

admired and learned instead how to be me. It was like the story

Marcelle told about the Israeli king Zusya, and how the hardest

question God would ask him once he had died was not if he had


7been Moses or any other great man, but if he had been Zusya.

When I observed in admiration the incredible leadership

happening within the instructor team, I knew that I was never

going to be John, Lynn, Nance, or Peter. Instead of being

discouraged, I was able to look past what I am not and began to

imagine what I already am. I could integrate within myself the

qualities I admired in others, but I was ultimately only going to

be Jill, so what does that look like? I appreciate that each of the

Danish Folk Schools are different due to their unique leadership

and what kinds of students they attract. It gives me great hope

that even though I am not John, Lynn, Nance, or Peter, I could

still be a fundamental part of Philosophy Camp, a spin-off of it,

or whatever organization or community I become a part of.

I could absolutely speak at length about the Learning

Circle process, as both the apparent and subtle profoundness of

Circles strikes me deeper each time I participate. On the surface

level, I deeply enjoy the quietness and pace of the circle. I notice

how often I feel overwhelmed within group situations when

everyone is talking over one another and uneasy in silence.

Philosophy Camp has helped me be comfortable in silence with

others. I remember the first time I sat down with John and Lynn


8in the spring of 2010 at a Chinese restaurant in Dinkytown. They

did not fill the space with empty words, but relaxed into the slow

pace of a conversation they had most certainly had many times

before with worried and questioning potential campers. I was

not so comfortable, though, with these extended silences. I

fidgeted and talked more than I wanted to without really saying

anything. This is a pattern I now can see and begin to break

after spending time with those involved in the course. I think

this comfort in collective quietness represents many attributes I

value, such as patience, deep listening, and intentionality, but

what strikes me the most is respect, especially in relationship to

time. I believe many people grow up becoming oriented to time

in terms of limitations and shortages. “There’s never enough

hours in the days,” “Use your time wisely,” or “Don’t waste my

time.” This last one has always especially effected me. I’ve

always felt nervous and a heightened awareness not to waste

someone’s time, especially older people whom I admire, such as

the instruction team at Philosophy Camp, or in a classroom full

of other students. The storycircles have helped me make peace

with this societal pressure, find my authentic voice easier and

with more confidence, and realize that I must submit to time,


9and not aim to control, manipulate, or hoard it. Only then can I

experience the present moment and understand that each

minute, hour, and day are infinite, whole, and full of endless

possibilities.

I think this realization goes beyond the personal

relationship with time and living in the present moment. It also

has huge implications on how leadership can be approached,

how companies, schools, and even families can be run. When a

leader is willing to break from the schedule, and take the time to

allow other people’s voices to be heard, it sends a deep message

that everyone is respected for their needs and contributions to

the community. I was so impressed how the instruction team

facilitated the community meeting regarding the schedule

changes, and that example will be something I carry with me to

all groups I become a part of in my life. When leadership seems

so transparent and seamless as it does at Philosophy Camp, I

think it become easy for the students not to realize how much

more effort it takes to accomplish this than does the usual

dictatorial forms of leadership they usually find at the University

or their jobs, or perhaps even within their families. I get

frustrated when I try to explain this process to people, and they


10say, “Oh, that sound great, but there just really isn’t time for

that in the real world.” In my experience, so many of the

misunderstandings, the repressed feelings, and the stalemates

that happen within groups stems from the lack of real

communication and the need to save time. Sometimes this might

stem from a power-hoarding leader, but I think it often is a more

common and benign symptom of the fact that people have not

seen real democracy played out before, and therefore do not

know how to facilitate it or how to ask for it. Exposing people to

grassroots democratic processes forever changes the

possibilities of how conflict can be resolved, decisions can be

made, and groups can be organized. As the citizens of this

country increasingly question how our government and

institutional systems are designed and managed, these

experiences can help uncover the roots of our founding

democracy and present a way to approach the future. I think our

systems now treat the public with the same paternalistic

condescension that children often receive; we do not know

enough and are not smart enough to govern ourselves and make

informed choices. With time, this attitude becomes believed and

accepted into the social consciousness, and we lose our will and


11know-how to participate. Philosophy Camp has helped restore

my belief that each person does have leadership qualities, that

they do have the knowledge and experience and desire to

participate, and that a community or society is false if it is not

taking the voices of its citizens into account and if it regularly

makes decisions that benefit some at the expense of others.

I do not want my Philosophy Camp experiences to end; I

need to keep learning and participating in democratic education

and intentional community settings. My eyes are opened—I can’t

go back to accepting the status quo in institutions and

organizations. Where will I end up next? I feel right as I am

finishing this round of higher education, I am just discovering

the things I want to really dig into and study. I want to keep

learning more about the Danish Folk School movement, visit

them, and advocate for their adoption in the United States. I

want to study the Reggio Emilia approach, and make deeper

connections to American progressive education theory,

pragmatist philosophies, and constructivism. I want to study

Highlander in the contexts of social justice, adult transformative

education, and radical education theory. I have always been

intimidated by traditional philosophy, but having had The


12Republic be made accessible to me, I am open and curious to

delve into more philosophical texts and feel more confident that

I have opinions of worth on their subjects. I have been reading

more books on the circle process, and will continue to hone the

craft of facilitating circles. It is unclear where I will put these

skills to use, but I plan to seek out opportunities to spread

circles to different groups. I will soon begin volunteering with

the Seward Neighborhood Group’s Restorative Justice initiative,

which I believe will be an excellent place for circles. I will use

them in Guatemala with my students as we discuss our

experiences in a foreign culture and land. In my personal life, I

want to bring the circle qualities of equality and deep listening

to my relationships.

We live in a society where the motto seems to be, “If you

can’t prove it, it didn’t happen.” Programs are only as valuable

as their evaluation methods and expected results demonstrate

them to be, and it is difficult to quantify, or even adequately

qualify, an experience that claims no uniform developmental

outcomes. Philosophy Camp is going to be a unique experience

for every person, and seeds planted there may unexpectedly

sprout long after the end of the course. If I were to have a large


13project to do (such as a thesis or dissertation), I might take

advantage of the fact that Philosophy Camp just celebrated its

10th anniversary. I might do in-depth interviews with past

participants, fellows, and the instructors to see how the

experience has impacted their lives and weave together the

common themes to demonstrate the significance of a democratic

residential folk school education. I am looking around, doing bits

of inquiry and research, and there are these kinds of discussions,

programs, and schools bubbling up around the world. I see the

need for documentation of the contributions that the course has

made to people’s lives, in hopes that it will further these kind of

experiences elsewhere. I don’t want to intrude on the sacredness

of P Camp, I would protect it with all my power, but I also want

to show it off to the world as a beacon of hope for how to

rediscover lives worth living.

I have never felt like I have “what it takes” to go on further

with my education, to seek the PhD level, but I am also

rethinking this recently. I have seen and experienced how

hungry students are for this kind of education and I want to be a

part of providing it, but there is still a great deal for me to learn

about the foundations and history behind this kind of learning. I


14am a lifelong learner; I dearly love to learn. I know that this is

not confined in the least to the institutional walls of higher

education, and that every moment is an opportunity to grow and

shift in the way I perceive truth in the world. I am starting to

consider my abilities to navigate and flow between multiple

worlds as an advantage, rather than a sign of listlessness or an

inability to commit and focus on one thing. I have struggled with

my tendencies to be a ‘generalist’ rather than a ‘specialist’ in a

society that seems to favor the specialist mentality. I used to be

excited and proud of my ‘Renaissance Woman’ experiences, but

over the past few years I feel as though I got left in the dust

while everyone else found a niche, while I continued to search

and explore. At Philosophy Camp, it was one of the first times

since childhood that I felt like my contributions were enough just

as they were, and therefore I was enough just as I am. Coming

back as an apprentice, I was able to reflect and act on this in an

even deeper way. Not having a specific job description or

required skills or stated expectations, I was able to draw the

conclusion that I was chosen for the whole of who I am, and not

for any one specific reason. Therefore, my real job was to be the

most authentic representation of myself that I could be, the


15positive and the negative, the learned and the uninformed sides

of me. This level of honesty is both liberating and deeply

humbling.

I am uncertain of what my next chapter in life will bring

me, but I am taking to heart the Philosophy Camp lessons I’ve

learned in letting things naturally unfold, and have almost let go

of the anxiety of the unknown and instead embraced the mystery

of my future. I believe finding Philosophy Camp was a major

piece of my destiny, and the course of my life will be forever

impacted by my experiences as a student and an apprentice. I

am filled with such gratitude for the instructor team, and every

student and fellow and visitor that contributed to my learning

and growth. I am reminded of the Four Immutable Laws that

state,

Whoever is present are the right people.Whoever is present are the right people.Whenever it begins is the right time.Whenever it begins is the right time.Whatever happens is the only thing that could have happened.Whatever happens is the only thing that could have happened.When it’s over it’s over.When it’s over it’s over.

Philosophy Camp will never truly be over for me, as I will

carry it in my heart and spread its spirit as I uncover what lies

ahead of me.

reflections on philosophy camp:€¦ · web viewreflections on philosophy camp: my process of...

Documents