Research Research Methods in Methods in

CSCSMore on Cutting Clutter and More on Cutting Clutter and

Writing with Strong VerbsWriting with Strong Verbs

AcknowledgementsAcknowledgements

This set of slides is based, in part, on This set of slides is based, in part, on lectures presented by Dr. Kristin Sainani of lectures presented by Dr. Kristin Sainani of Stanford University in the Coursera course Stanford University in the Coursera course Writing in the Sciences Writing in the Sciences presented during presented during the September-November 2012 period.the September-November 2012 period.See See http://www.coursera.org

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William ZinsserWilliam Zinsser

““But the secret of good writing is to strip every But the secret of good writing is to strip every sentence to its cleanest components. Every word that sentence to its cleanest components. Every word that serves no function, every long word that could be a serves no function, every long word that could be a short word, every adverb that carries the same short word, every adverb that carries the same meaning that’s already in the verb, every passive meaning that’s already in the verb, every passive construction that leaves the reader unsure of who is construction that leaves the reader unsure of who is doing what—these are the thousand and one doing what—these are the thousand and one adulterants that weaken the strength of a sentence. adulterants that weaken the strength of a sentence. And they usually occur in proportion to the education And they usually occur in proportion to the education and rank.”and rank.”

--William Zinsser in --William Zinsser in On Writing WellOn Writing Well, 30, 30thth Anniversary Anniversary Edition, 2006.Edition, 2006.

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Blaise PascalBlaise Pascal

““I have only made this letter rather long I have only made this letter rather long because I have not had time to make it because I have not had time to make it shorter.” (In the original French: “Je n'aifait shorter.” (In the original French: “Je n'aifait celle-ciplus longue queparcequeje n'aipas celle-ciplus longue queparcequeje n'aipas eule loisirde la faire plus courte.”)eule loisirde la faire plus courte.”)

-- -- Blaise PascalBlaise Pascal in Lettres provinciales in Lettres provinciales, 16, , 16, Dec. 14, 1656Dec. 14, 1656

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Cut the ClutterCut the Clutter

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Small Tricks to Cut Small Tricks to Cut ClutterClutter

1.1. Eliminate negativesEliminate negatives

2.2. Eliminate superfluous uses of “there are” Eliminate superfluous uses of “there are” and “there is”and “there is”

3.3. Omit needless prepositionsOmit needless prepositions

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Trick 1: Elminate Trick 1: Elminate negativesnegatives

He was He was notnot often right often right He was usually wrongHe was usually wrong

She did She did notnot want to code the algorithm want to code the algorithm incorrectlyincorrectly She wanted to code the algorithm correctlyShe wanted to code the algorithm correctly

They did not remember to test the database They did not remember to test the database access procedureaccess procedure They forgot to test the database access They forgot to test the database access

procedureprocedure

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Eliminate negativesEliminate negatives

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Instead of Consider

not right wrong

does not want want

does not remember forgot

not honest dishonest

not harmful safe

not important unimportant

not complete incomplete

does not have lacks

did not pay attention to ignored

did not succeed failed

Trick 2: Eliminate there Trick 2: Eliminate there are/isare/is

There are There are many different data structures we many different data structures we can use.can use.➔ We can use many different data structures.We can use many different data structures.

There wasThere was a long line of students in the hall a long line of students in the hall outside the professor’s office on the day the outside the professor’s office on the day the assignment was due.assignment was due.➔ Students lined the hall outside the professor’s Students lined the hall outside the professor’s

office on the day the assignment was due. office on the day the assignment was due.

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Eliminate there are/isEliminate there are/is

There are There are many computer scientists who many computer scientists who like to write.like to write. Many computer scientists like to write.Many computer scientists like to write.

The data confirm that The data confirm that there is there is an an association between network load and association between network load and operating system crashes.operating system crashes. The data confirm an association between The data confirm an association between

network load and operating systems crashes.network load and operating systems crashes.

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Trick 3: Omit needless Trick 3: Omit needless prepositionsprepositions

Example: “that” and “on” are often Example: “that” and “on” are often superfluoussuperfluous

The design meeting happened The design meeting happened onon Friday. Friday. The design meeting happened Friday.The design meeting happened Friday.

The developers agreed The developers agreed thatthat it was true. it was true. The developers agreed it was true.The developers agreed it was true.

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Original:Original: Anti-inflammatory drugs may be protective for Anti-inflammatory drugs may be protective for

the occurrence of Alzheimer’s Disease.the occurrence of Alzheimer’s Disease.

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Practice: Cutting the Practice: Cutting the ClutterClutter

Original:Original: Anti-inflammatory drugs may be protective for Anti-inflammatory drugs may be protective for

the occurrence of Alzheimer’s Disease.the occurrence of Alzheimer’s Disease.

Rewrite:Rewrite: Anti-inflammatory drugs may protect against Anti-inflammatory drugs may protect against

Alzheimer’s Disease Alzheimer’s Disease

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Practice: Cutting the Practice: Cutting the ClutterClutter

Original:Original: Clinical seizures have been estimated to occur Clinical seizures have been estimated to occur

in 0.5% to 2.3% of the neonatal population.in 0.5% to 2.3% of the neonatal population.

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Practice: Cutting the Practice: Cutting the ClutterClutter

Original:Original: Clinical seizures have been estimated to occur Clinical seizures have been estimated to occur

in 0.5% to 2.3% of the neonatal population.in 0.5% to 2.3% of the neonatal population.

Rewrite:Rewrite: Clinical seizures occur in 0.5% to 2.3% of Clinical seizures occur in 0.5% to 2.3% of

newborns.newborns.

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Practice: Cutting the Practice: Cutting the ClutterClutter

Original:Original: Injuries to the brain and spinal cord have long Injuries to the brain and spinal cord have long

been known to be among the most been known to be among the most devastating and expensive of all injuries to devastating and expensive of all injuries to treat medically. treat medically.

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Practice: Cutting the Practice: Cutting the ClutterClutter

Original:Original: Injuries to the brain and spinal cord have long Injuries to the brain and spinal cord have long

been known to be among the most been known to be among the most devastating and expensive of all injuries to devastating and expensive of all injuries to treat medically. treat medically.

Rewrite:Rewrite: Injuries to the brain and spinal cord are Injuries to the brain and spinal cord are

among the most devastating and expensive. among the most devastating and expensive.

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Practice: Cutting the Practice: Cutting the ClutterClutter

Original:Original: An IQ test measures an individual’s abilities An IQ test measures an individual’s abilities

to perform functions that usually fall in the to perform functions that usually fall in the domains of verbal communication, reasoning, domains of verbal communication, reasoning, and performance on tasks that represent and performance on tasks that represent motor and spatial capabilities.motor and spatial capabilities.

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Practice: Cutting the Practice: Cutting the ClutterClutter

Original:Original: An IQ test measures an individual’s abilities An IQ test measures an individual’s abilities

to perform functions that usually fall in the to perform functions that usually fall in the domains of verbal communication, reasoning, domains of verbal communication, reasoning, and performance on tasks that represent and performance on tasks that represent motor and spatial capabilities.motor and spatial capabilities.

Rewrite:Rewrite: An IQ test measures an individual’s verbal, An IQ test measures an individual’s verbal,

reasoning, or motor and spatial abilities.reasoning, or motor and spatial abilities.

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Practice: Cutting the Practice: Cutting the ClutterClutter

Writing Writing with Strong, Precise with Strong, Precise

VerbsVerbs

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Writing with Strong, Writing with Strong, Precise VerbsPrecise Verbs

Verbs make sentences go!Verbs make sentences go!

Consider: Consider: Loud music came from speakers embedded in Loud music came from speakers embedded in the walls, and the entire arena moved as the the walls, and the entire arena moved as the hungry crowd got to its feet.hungry crowd got to its feet.

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Writing with Strong, Writing with Strong, Precise VerbsPrecise Verbs

Verbs make sentences go!Verbs make sentences go!

Compare: Compare: Loud music came from speakers embedded in the Loud music came from speakers embedded in the walls, and the entire arena moved as the hungry walls, and the entire arena moved as the hungry crowd got to its feet.crowd got to its feet.

With:With:Loud music Loud music explodedexploded from speakers embedded in the from speakers embedded in the walls, and the entire arena walls, and the entire arena shookshook as the hungry as the hungry crowd crowd leapedleaped to its feet. to its feet.

Latter from the novel Latter from the novel Bringing Down the House Bringing Down the House by by Ben Mezrich.Ben Mezrich.

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Writing with Strong Writing with Strong VerbsVerbs

Pick the right verb!Pick the right verb!

Consider:Consider:The WHO The WHO reportsreports that that approximatelyapproximately two-third two-third of the world’s diabetics are found in developing of the world’s diabetics are found in developing countries, and countries, and estimatesestimates that the number of that the number of diabetics will double in the next 25 years.diabetics will double in the next 25 years.

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Writing with Strong, Writing with Strong, Precise VerbsPrecise Verbs

Pick the right verb!Pick the right verb!

Compare:Compare:The WHO The WHO reportsreports that that approximatelyapproximately two-third of the two-third of the world’s diabetics are found in developing countries, world’s diabetics are found in developing countries, and and estimatesestimates that the number of diabetics will that the number of diabetics will double in the next 25 years.double in the next 25 years.

With:With:The WHO The WHO estimatesestimates that two-thirds of the world’s that two-thirds of the world’s diabetics are found in developing countries, and diabetics are found in developing countries, and projectsprojects that the number of diabetics will double in that the number of diabetics will double in the next 25 years.the next 25 years.

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Writing with Strong, Writing with Strong, Precise VerbsPrecise Verbs

Use “to be” verbs purposely and sparinglyUse “to be” verbs purposely and sparingly

Is, are, was, were, be, been, am, become, Is, are, was, were, be, been, am, become, becamebecame

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Writing with Strong, Writing with Strong, Precise VerbsPrecise Verbs

Replace “to be” verbs with stronger verbsReplace “to be” verbs with stronger verbs

Consider: Consider: Whether you Whether you are are competingcompeting for a job, a client, for a job, a client, or the attention of a busy audience, one of the or the attention of a busy audience, one of the best ways of grabbing and keeping a reader best ways of grabbing and keeping a reader isis to use strong, descriptive verbs.to use strong, descriptive verbs.

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Writing with Strong, Writing with Strong, Precise VerbsPrecise Verbs

Replace “to be” verbs with stronger verbsReplace “to be” verbs with stronger verbs

Compare: Compare: Whether you Whether you are are competingcompeting for a job, a client, or the for a job, a client, or the attention of a busy audience, one of the best ways of attention of a busy audience, one of the best ways of grabbing and keeping a reader grabbing and keeping a reader isis to use strong, to use strong, descriptive verbs.descriptive verbs.

With:With:To To competecompete for a job, client, or any busy audience, for a job, client, or any busy audience, useuse active verbs to active verbs to grabgrab and and keepkeep the readers’ attention. the readers’ attention.

Adapted from University of Houston-Clear Lake Writing Center Tip Sheet Adapted from University of Houston-Clear Lake Writing Center Tip Sheet on on Using Strong Verbs Using Strong Verbs ((http://prtl.uhcl.edu/portal/page/portal/WC/TIPSHEETS))

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Writing with Strong, Writing with Strong, Precise VerbsPrecise Verbs

He He waswas a strong team leader. a strong team leader. He He emergedemerged as a strong team leader. as a strong team leader.

Edsger Dijkstra’s “Go To Statement Consider Edsger Dijkstra’s “Go To Statement Consider Harmful” Harmful” is recognizedis recognized as one of the most as one of the most influential essays on programming.influential essays on programming. Computer scientists Computer scientists recognizerecognize Edsger Dijkstra’s Edsger Dijkstra’s

“Go To Statement Considered Harmful” as one of “Go To Statement Considered Harmful” as one of the most influential essays on programming.the most influential essays on programming.

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Writing with Strong, Writing with Strong, Precise VerbsPrecise Verbs

She She waswas the teacher for two sections of an the teacher for two sections of an Office Applications course.Office Applications course. She She taughttaught two sections of an Office two sections of an Office

Applications class.Applications class.

He He was responsible was responsible for managing the for managing the testing team for a one-million line software testing team for a one-million line software development project.development project. He managed the testing team for a one-He managed the testing team for a one-

million line software development project.million line software development project.

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Writing with Strong, Writing with Strong, Precise VerbsPrecise Verbs

A modified version of the conference paper A modified version of the conference paper became Chapter 3 of his dissertation.became Chapter 3 of his dissertation. He He modifiedmodified the conference paper and the conference paper and

incorporatedincorporated it into Chapter 3 of his dissertation. it into Chapter 3 of his dissertation.

The common aspects of the set of programs The common aspects of the set of programs were identifiedwere identified and and storedstored in the software in the software reuse library.reuse library. The software reuse team The software reuse team extractedextracted the common the common

aspects from the set of programs and aspects from the set of programs and archivedarchived them for use in later projects.them for use in later projects.

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Writing with Strong, Writing with Strong, Precise VerbsPrecise Verbs

Choose Active, Precise Verbs at Rice Choose Active, Precise Verbs at Rice University:University:

http://www.owlnet.rice.edu/~cainproj/writingtips/preciseverbs.html

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PracticePractice

Choose Active, Precise Verbs at Rice Choose Active, Precise Verbs at Rice University:University:

http://www.owlnet.rice.edu/~cainproj/writingtips/preciseverbs.html

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