RESILIENCY FOR REBELS (and everyone else)!Practices to build change muscles!

@LoisKelly | @RebelsAtWork!

“Thanks for emphasizing the necessary rebel self-care to keep us engaged as happy warriors.”!

“The CEO doesn’t want you to talk about self-care because he thinks it’s too soft. But between you and me? That’s what we REALLY need here.”!

Boy, were we surprised when Rebels told us they wanted MANY MORE ideas about self care. !!Why? Creating change always takes longer and is more difficult than we think. To go the distance we need to take good care of ourselves.!

All lasting change requires new practices to build our

change muscles.!

Here are my 12 favorite practices, all grounded in

Positive Psychology research.!

Lois Kelly!

HUNT THE GOOD!Every night write down the three things that went well. !!This makes you feel good about all that IS going well in your life and work. !

DARE TO SET !“WANT TO” GOALS!

!Set a goal for something you really want to do vs. what you have to do.!!Achieving meaningful goals boosts our resiliency.!!

DOOR OPEN,!DOOR CLOSED!

Think back on three times in your life where a door “closed.” It could have been a job, a missed promotion, a relationship. Then think about what new doors subsequently opened. Write them down.!!Remembering that good things have come after disappointments before in our life helps us get through tough situations and recover more quickly.!

NAME THAT EMOTION!

!When you’re emotional, name the feeling. !!Naming a feeling helps us calm down and think more rationally and creatively. !!

SELF-COMPASSION LETTER!

•  Remember a difficult or stressful situation and how it affected you. !

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•  Acknowledge your feelings or thoughts, as well as what you (were or are) hoping for and needing. e.g., “Dear Donna, I know that you are feeling [sad/afraid/angry/disappointed in yourself, etc.]. You were really [looking forward to…/trying your best to…, etc.]” !

!•  Write about both the stress/suffering and the core need

underneath it: a desire for health, safety, appreciation, connection, achievement, etc.!

!•  Offer a message of common humanity. e.g., all humans make

mistakes, sometimes fail, get angry, experience disappointment, etc. !

•  Mentor yourself with some compassionate advice or encouragement. What would you say to a good friend or family member in this situation? !

!•  After writing the letter, read it out loud to yourself, or put it

away and bring it out when you need some self-compassion. This letter writing will help you make sense of difficult situations and make you happier.!

CHANGE YOUR STORY!

Change the story of how you think about yourself and your life to one that is more positive, though still grounded in realities. !!You will begin to focus more on the positive aspects of your life, improving your well-being. !

USE YOUR CHARACTER!STRENGTHS!

Know, use and celebrate your intrinsic character strengths.*!!Living the best version of ourselves gives meaning and fulfillment to our lives and our work.!

*Toiden)fyyourcharacterstrengths:www.viacharacter.org

DON’T MAKE A HIMALYAN!OUT OF A MOUNTAIN!

When the sh*t hits the fan, don’t become a drama king or queen, making the situation bigger than it is. !!Remember most bad events aren’t permanent, and are likely to have happened no matter what you could have said or did.!!Being realistic vs. pessimistic and overly dramatic helps us better deal with difficult situations. !

LOVE THY!TEAM MEMBERS!

Thank and appreciate your team members for specific things they do that make work better.!!Expressing gratitude improves people’s self-worth and likelihood of helping one another. It is also the most sustainable motivator at work.!

SAVORTHEAWE

Savor the sense of wonder and beauty wherever you see it.!!Experiencing a sense of awe promotes altruism, loving-kindness, and magnanimous behavior. !

MAKE A FRIENDS!AND FAMILY PLAN!

Spend more time with family and friends having fun. Schedule time so it happens.!!People who spend more time with others are much happier than those who spend a lot of time alone. !

Thesearemyfunnyandamazingsisters.

NOURISH!YOUR BODY!

Eat well. Sleep soundly. Move joyously. Sing with abandon. Groove to your music. Take a big breath.!!Dancing, singing, storytelling and silence are the four universal salves for the soul.!

16!

Create positive change! Use resiliency in dying! Dare to tell your stories!

Books on resiliency and bravery by Lois Kelly!Available at Amazon.com!

For more information on one-day master classes on creating positive for your organization and 6-week team resiliency programs, please get in touch with Lois at lkelly@foghound.com.!

www.foghound.com! www.rebelsatwork.com!