self-compassion: strategies to prevent burnout · 2019-01-23 · self-compassion 3 parts to...
TRANSCRIPT
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Self-Compassion: Strategies to Prevent
BurnoutPresented by Kathy Moore, Ph.D., NCSP
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When have you heard?“I am stressed out”
● Today● Yesterday● This week● This month● This school year
“I’m overwhelmed”
● From a co-worker● From a student● From your
spouse/partner● From your administrator● From your child
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When have you said?“I am stressed out”
● Today● Yesterday● This week● This month● This school year
“I’m overwhelmed”
● Said this to a co-worker● Said it to your
spouse/partner● Said it to your
administrator● Said it to your child
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Topics/Activities Covered 1. Educator/Caregiver Stressors
2. Self-Esteem
3. Self-Compassion
4. Self-Compassion Exercises 1 and 2
5. Break
6. Self-Compassion Research Findings
7. Self-Compassion Exercises 3 and 4
8. Additional Resources
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Educator/Caregiver Stressors
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Stressors Leading to Educator Burnout
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Educator/Caregiver StressSecondary Trauma and Compassion Fatigue - stress from caring for those who have experienced trauma
● Physical, emotional, or social/interpersonal effects○ Trouble sleeping, anxious, depressed, isolation, increased agitation○ May look similar to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
● Risk factors○ People with strong empathetic skills are susceptible ○ History of trauma or mental health issues
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Self-Esteem● Self-Esteem - how individuals evaluate themselves in a particular attribute
or skill when comparing themselves to others○ Potential problems with increased self-esteem
■ Inflated self-esteem, narcissism■ Social comparison■ Bullying/Relational Aggression
○ Pitfall of having self worth based on:■ Income■ Perceived attractiveness■ Social approval and our perceived social approval
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Self-Compassion: Key ResearchersDr. Kristin Neff, University of Texas at Austin in Educational Psychology Department
Dr. Christopher Germer, clinical psychologist, works with Harvard Medical School. Expert of compassion-based psychotherapy.
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Self-CompassionSelf-Compassion is giving care and comfort to ourselves without the need to compare yourself to others.
What’s your inner dialogue? What messages do you say to yourself?
● When we listen to our inner critic, we may find we would say the meanest, cruelest messages to ourselves that we would never say to others
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Self-Compassion3 Parts to Self-Compassion
1. Self-Kindness - giving yourself supportive, nurturing care2. Common Humanity - everyone hurts, we are connected in our suffering,
not isolated3. Mindfulness - allowing yourself to feel all unpleasant emotions and not get
stuck on a thought/emotion
Self-compassion practices teach you to give yourself permission to meet your own needs and to “give yourself a break.”
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Self-Compassion - Exercise #1You just received this text from a good friend:
I feel awful. I’ve yelled at my daughter this morning to get ready for school. She’s so slow! When is it too early to give her coffee?
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What would you text back to your friend?
Ugh. Mornings are the worst.
Been there. You are having an off week. You are a good parent.
Daylight savings time is $#@!
Self-Compassion - Exercise #1
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Self-Compassion - Exercise #2Now, you are the parent/adult. And your inner critic says this to yourself:
I just lost my cool and argued with a 7 year-old about his math assignment. I am the adult, I should know better than to get in a power struggle.
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Self-Compassion - Exercise #2What could you tell yourself?
It’s easy to get sucked into a power struggle. Conflict/disagreements are a part of all relationships. This interaction was difficult. (Take a deep breath, close your eyes). This was a moment of suffering (pain/intense feelings).
That did not go well. I want him to do well on his work. His work is hard for him. It is hard for me to watch him struggle. Struggling is a part of learning. (Take a deep breath, close your eyes). This was a moment of suffering (pain/intense feelings).
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Self-Compassion Exercise #2● It’s important that you don’t try to “fix” what went wrong
● We want to fix things right away and/or we criticize/blame ourselves or
those around us to fight off the negative emotion
● Its OK to feel the negative emotion
3 Basic Principles: Being Kind, Connection, Mindful
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Self-Compassion Research FindingsConcern: Promotes Pity
● Self-Compassion linked to coping and resilience
● Less likely to ruminate on failures and not exaggerate personal failures
Concern: Makes You Weak
● Builds your inner strength and resilience and enables you to handles changes in your life
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Self-Compassion Research FindingsConcern: Selfish
● When caring and supportive of yourself, better able to encourage others● Does not require extra time/resources like Self-Care (exercise, visiting
friends, spa day, vacation)
Concern: Indulgent
● Focuses on your long term health, not immediate gratification
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Self-Compassion Research FindingsConcern: Makes Excuses
● Self-criticism triggers are flight/fight/freeze responses with saying “I’m no
good” or “I was horrible with that person” ○ Your self-concept feels threatened
● Self-criticism can lead to a person’s depression/dysregulation when you are
not able to meet your goal or cannot keep your self-concept of “I’m a good
caregiver” or “I am competent professional”○ Calling out our mistakes and inadequacies does not give us an excuse to make them
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Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)● Page 32, Chapter Title: The Physiology of Self-Criticism and
Self-Compassion from Workbook
Stress Response Stress Response Turned Inward
Self-Compassion
Fight Self-Criticism Self-kindness
Flight Isolation Common humanity
Freeze Rumination Mindfulness
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Self-Compassion Exercise #3When you notice you are being self-critical, you have the power to soothe yourself.
Ways to tap into your own caring system physically
● Hand over heart, soothing and loving touch
● Hands on stomach
● Crossing arms to give a hug
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Self-Compassion Exercise #3● Instead of soothing touch
○ Pet an animal
○ Tapping
○ Hand rubbing soft pillow
● Soothing touch releases
chemicals to decrease stress
○ oxytocin
○ endorphins
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Self-Compassion Exercise #4● Think of someone causing you stress
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Self-Compassion Exercise #4● Mindfulness
○ This is painful right now. This is causing me stress. “This is a moment of suffering”
● Common Humanity○ “I’m only human after all”, “Everyone hurts”, “Suffering is a part of life”
● Self-Kindness○ “May I be kind to myself”, “May I be...strong/patient/loving”, “May I
forgive myself”
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Wrapping It Up● We are under tremendous stress as caregivers, educators, and parents● Our students, co-workers, children feel our stress● We can’t always control others or events around us, but we can control our
reactions● We can strive to do and be better professionals and caregivers without
harming ourselves● Give yourself permission to practice self-compassion● Notice when you are “being hard on yourself” and try these exercises
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On-line Materials● 2013 Summer Presentation to Educators from Dr. Neff
○ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Z1rCrScTSI&t=16s○ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1k2zro9wb8&t=2s
● Center for Mindful Self-Compassion○ https://centerformsc.org/learn-msc/
● Self-Compassion Test○ https://centerformsc.org/learn-msc/take-the-self-compassion-test/○ Gives you a 1 to 5 scale on Self-Kindness, Self-Judgment, Common Humanity, Isolation, and
Mindfulness, Over-Identification, and Overall Score
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Self-Compassion Print Materials
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References● Center, Greater Good Science. “Kristin Neff on Self-Compassion for
Educators, Part 1.”YouTube, YouTube, 22 July 2014, www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Z1rCrScTSI.
● Center, Greater Good Science. “Kristin Neff on Self-Compassion for Educators, Part 2.”YouTube, YouTube, 22 July 2014, www.youtube.com/watchv=3Z1rCrScTSI.
● Collective, T. T. (2018, September 28). Self compassion Resources for School Psychologists : A Coffee Chat with Kristin Neff. Retrieved January 11, 2019, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOKMV6gO2ZI
● Germer, C. K. (2014). The mindful path to self-compassion: Freeing yourself from destructive thoughts and emotions. Kbh.: Nota.
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References● National Association of School Psychologists. (2017). Care for the caregiver:
guidelines for administrators and criss teams [handout]. Bethesda: MD: Author.● Neff, Kristin. “Self-Compassion.” Self-Compassion, 2018,
self-compassion.org/.● Neff, Kristin. Self-Compassion: the Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.
William Morrow, an Imprint of Harper Collins Publishers, 2015.● Neff, K., & Germer, C. K. (2018). The mindful self-compassion workbook: A
proven way to accept yourself, build inner strength, and thrive. New York, NY: Guilford Press.
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References● Rankin, J. (2017, February 1). The Teacher Burnout Epidemic, Part 2 of 2.
Retrieved November 28, 2018, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/much-more-common-core/201702/the-teacher-burnout-epidemic-part-2-2
● Rankin, J. (2017, February 1). The Teacher Burnout Epidemic, Part 1 of 2. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/much-more-common-core/201611/the-teacher-burnout-epidemic-part-1-2
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Questions?