self in interpersonal communication
TRANSCRIPT
Self in Interpersonal Communication
Chapter 3, Part 1Devito 10th ed.
Chapter 3Who are you….really?
Objectives: Self-Concept
1. Define self-concept; explain how it develops.2. Explain how culture influences self-concept.3. Define & give examples of ego
boosters/busters.4. List & explain 5 characteristics of self-concept.5. Define self-fulfilling prophecy & give example.6. Explain why self-concept is often distorted.7. Suggest how a distorted self-concept can be
changed.
I. Self-Concept
A. Definition1. How you view yourself;
self-image
2. Feelings & thoughts about your strengths, weaknesses
3. Relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself: emotional states, talents, likes, dislikes, values, roles, etc.
B. How the Self-Concept Develops
1. Others’ Images of Youa. Looking Glass Selfb. Reflected Appraisal: c. Ego Boosters & Ego Busters
2. Social Comparisonsa. Superior/Inferiorb. Same/Different
3. Cultural Teachings4. Your Own Interpretations &
Experiences
Other’s Images
Social Comparisons
Your Interpretations &
Evaluations
Cultural Teachings
Self ConceptConcept
Sources of Self Concept
Ego Boosters/Ego Busters Exercise
• Recall an “ego booster” who helped enhance your self-esteem.
• Recall an “ego buster” from your life.• Recall a time when you were an
“ego booster” to someone else.• Recall a time when you were an
“ego buster”.
Cultural Influences on Self-ConceptIndividualistic Cultures
• Self is separate, unique indiv; should be inde-pendent, self-sufficient
• Should take care of self & immediate family
• Reward individual achievement; value individual decisions; individual credit/ blame
• Value autonomy, youth, change, individual security, equality
Collectivistic Cultures• Emphasize extended
families or in-groups; “we” orientation
• Should care for extend-ed family before self
• Reward contribution to group goals; group decisions valued; shared credit/blame
• Value--duty, order, tra-dition, age, group se-curity, status, hierarchy
C. Characteristics of Self-Concept
1. affects communication.2. is subjective.3. resists change.4. is flexible, if it is healthy.5. is multi-dimensional
The self-concept:
1. Self-concept affects communication.High Self-EsteemHigh Self-Esteem
1. Likely to think well of others2. Expect to be accepted 3. Evaluate own performance
more favorably4. Perform well when being
watched5. Work harder for those who
demand high standards6. Feel comfortable with those
perceived as superior7. Able to defend self against
criticism
Low Self-EsteemLow Self-Esteem1. Likely to disapprove of others2. Expect to be rejected3. Evaluate own performance
less favorably4. Perform poorly when being
watched5. Work harder for undemand-
ing less critical people6. Feel threatened by those
perceived as superior7. Have difficulty defending self
against criticism; easily influenced
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
1. We make a prediction based on a belief.
2. We act toward person/situation as if prediction/belief is true.
3. BECAUSE we act as if the belief is true, it becomes true.
4. We observe this effect, which strengthens our belief.
a. Obsolete information
b. Distorted feedbackc. Emphasis on
perfectiond. Social expectations:
Modesty vs. “Egotism”
2. The self-concept is subjective.
a. Cling to existing self-concept, even when evidence shows it’s obsolete
b. Cling to negative outmoded self-perception—whether negative or positive
c. Can produce self-delusion and lack of growth
3. The self-concept resists change.
“Can’t” Exercise• Write a sentence which states
something you can’t do.• Cross out the “can’t” and replace it
with “won’t” or “haven’t yet”.• How does this change the meaning
of this sentence?• What does this have to do with self-
concept?
a. We change:-from moment to moment.-from situation to situation.-over longer periods of time.
b. We need to constantly adjust our self-concept as new data becomes available.
4. A healthy self-concept is flexible.
Changing the Self-Concept
• Have realistic expectations• Strive for a realistic
perception of yourself• Have the will to change• Develop the skill to change
The self-concept is multidimensional.The self-concept is multidimensional.
• PRIVATEPRIVATE ME• Perceived self • Person you believe yourself
to be.• IDEALIDEAL ME
• Desired self• Picture of person you wish
you were
• PUBLICPUBLIC ME• Presenting self• Face you try to show others
5. The self-concept is multidimensional.
Defining My Three Selves Exercise
• Divide a sheet of paper into 3 equal parts. Label the first column, “Perceived Self”. Write words and/or draw pictures that best describe the person you know yourself to be.
• Label the second area, “Desired Self,” and repeat the process using words/pictures that describe the way you would like to be.
• Label the third area, “Presenting Self.” Us words/pictures that represent the way to present yourself to others.
• Reflect on similarities & differences in the 3 areas.
(Out/In, 4th ed. P. 60)
1. Explain the Johari window.2. Compare & contrast Johari window for two
different relationships.3. Discuss rewards & risks of self-disclosure.4. List & explain guidelines for self-disclosure.5. List & explain guidelines for responding to
self-disclosures of others.
Objectives: Self-Awareness & Self-Esteem
II. Self-Awareness• Johari Window -- a tool that
represents your communication behaviors
Goal is to be as open a communicator as appropriate.
Known to Not Known Self to Self
Known to Others
Not Knownto Others
Johari Window
Open Self
Blind Self
HiddenSelf
UnknownSelf
III. Self-Esteem – your own evaluation of worth
A. Attack your self- destructive beliefs.
B. Engage in self-affirmation.
C. Seek out nourish-
ing people.
E. Work on projects that will result in success.
CLUES?
IV. Self-Disclosure -- sharing previously unknown personal information with another
A. Factors Influencing Self-Disclosure
1. Who You Are
2. Culture
3. Gender
4. Your Listeners
5. Topic
WOMEN
MEN
Weigh the rewards against the risks before deciding to self-
disclose.
B. Rewards of Self-Disclosure
1. Get to know self better
2. Increases communication effectiveness
3. Increases physiological health
C. Dangers of Self-Disclosure
1. Personal risks
2. Relational risks
3. Professional risks
Experiential Vehicle, Devito Website
Guidelines for Self-Disclosure
• Consider the:–motivation.–appropriateness.–disclosures of the other.–possible burdens.
Guidelines for Responding to Self-Disclosures of Others
• Use active listening skills.• Support & reinforce the discloser.• Keep disclosures confidential.• Do not use disclosures as
weapons.
Objectives: Apprehension
1. Define communication apprehension & distinguish between state & trait apprehension.
2. List 7 apprehensive behaviors.3. List & explain 7 influences on
apprehension.4. Explain how cultural differences impact
apprehension.5. Briefly describe 3 apprehension
management theories.
V. Apprehension
A. Nature of comm. apprehension1. Comm. apprehension--fear/anxiety about interaction2. Trait apprehension--fear of comm., regardless of situation3. State apprehension--specific to a
given comm. situation
B. Apprehensive Behaviors1. Decrease in frequency, strength, & likelihood of engaging in comm.2. Less willing to volunteer3. Lack of satisfaction w/dating4. Talk less & avoid leadership5. Disclose less6. Avoid jobs requiring comm.7. Less likely to get job interviews
C. Influences on comm. apprehension1. Degree of evaluation
2. Subordinate status3. Degree of conspicuousness4. Degree of unpredictability5. Degree of dissimilarity6. Prior success & failures7. Lack of comm. skills & experience
D. Culture & apprehension
1. Apprehension increases w/unfamiliarity
2. Higher if you have stereotypes, prejudices
3. Situation influences--ambiguity, status, perception of evaluation
E. Apprehension Management Theories
1. Cognitive RestructuringCognitive Restructuring--change unreal- istic beliefs which cause fear of failure
2. Systematic DesensitizationSystematic Desensitization--unlearn apprehension--creating hierarchy of behaviors leading up to desired behavior
3. Skill AcquisitionSkill Acquisition--a. Prepare & practiceb. Focus on successc. Familiarize yourself w/situationd. Try to relax
The End
Presenting Self?
NOT!!!!!NOT!!!!!Appropriate Self-Disclosure?
Surveys/Exercises• *Weighing Rewards & Costs of Self-
Disclosure• Self-Concept Scales• Locus of Control Scales • Self-Fulfilling Prophecy cartoons &
stories• Self-Actualization Survey• Self-Disclosure Survey• Self-Monitoring Survey