Silver Linings

Nursery rhymes for cloudy times

32

..for the broadband generation, however old they might be

Steve Gleave / Iwan Price-Evans / Lee Queza

Copyright © 2012 Gleave/Price-Evans/Queza

All rights reserved. But, we’re cool if you’d like to use the odd part of this book, with citation, to

promote it. For questions on any major reproduction, or general enquiries, you can reach us on

Twitter (@gleavieboy) or via www.iartyou7883.bigcartel.com

54

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill racked up a bill

On rent for bricks and mortar.

What a waste, they used the space

For the PBX they stored there.

76

Wee Willie Winkie

Wee Willie’s VoIP calls run through the ground,

Over speedy broadband enjoying HD sound,

No more in-house systems, no more spares to stock,

IT can sleep in today, way past eight o’clock.

98

Twinkle, twinkle, little star

Twinkle, twinkle, little LED,

Tells me if equipment’s dead.

Flashing green means all is fine,

Turning red, it’s panic time.

Farewell, farewell, little LED,

Live inside the cloud instead.

1110

Jack be nimble

SIP trunk be nimble,

SIP trunk be quick,

SIP trunk do show me

That bandwidth trick.

1312

One, two, buckle my shoe

One, two, Goodbye Alcalu;

Three four, Mitel no more;

Five, six, Don’t need PBX;

Seven, eight, Savings are great;

Nine, ten, Cap-ex will end;

Eleven, Twelve, No gear on the shelf;

Thirteen, fourteen, The install is clean;

Fifteen, sixteen, New apps make me beam;

Seventeen, eighteen, Tech haute cuisine;

Nineteen, twenty, Equipment room empty.

1514

Little Bo Peep

Little Bo Peep has lost her sleep,

Over TDM cable pollution;

Get rid of it all, and make the call,

To switch to a hosted solution.

1716

Hey Diddle Diddle

Hey diddle diddle,

Cat-5 in the middle,

Voice calls jumped over broadband,

The IAD laughed to see a SIP trunk,

And the carrier extended its brand.

Teddy bear, teddy bear

Teddy bear, teddy bear,Pays through the nose.Teddy bear, teddy bear,New options have pros.Teddy bear, teddy bear,

In the cloud you can scale.Teddy bear, teddy bear,

Let op-ex prevail.Teddy bear, teddy bear,

Support costs will shrink.Teddy bear, teddy bear,

When you think beyond Lync.Teddy bear, teddy bear,

Turn out the light.Teddy bear, teddy bear,It’s cap-ex goodnight.

1918

2120

Three blind mice

Three blind mice. Three blind mice.

See how they run. See how they run.

They all ran through the equipment room,

They laughed, they jumped, they skipped, they zoomed,

No gear to bump into, barren as the moon,

Lucky blind mice.

2322

Red sky at night

UC at night,

what’s not to like?

UC in morning,

users still fawning.

2524

Little Boy Blue

IT’s not blue,

What have they done?

There’s phones on the desk,

But the backend is gone.

Sent to the cloud

Where it’s featured and cheap.

So IT’s real happy

And now fast asleep.

2726

Rock a-bye baby

Rock a-bye Centrex,

so long on top,

When the boss calls,

the penny will drop,

Budgets do break,

and empires will fall,

It’s time to go VoIP now,

cloud-based and all.

2928

Hickory Dickory Dock

Hickory, dickory, dock,

The outside line was blocked.

The trunks declined,

They need more lines,

Got SIP trunks instead and it rocked.

3130

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty broke his firewall,

His session controller would not allow calls.

Dumped all his vendors and all of their men,

Outsourced the lot and felt better again.

3332

It’s raining, it’s pouring

It’s raining; it’s pouring.

This voicemail is boring.

With speech to text I won’t be vexed,

Or mad at this TUI all morning.

3534

Old King Cole

Old King Cole faced a long distance toll

With his treasury drained by recession;

He saved him some gold, and broke from the mold

As he started a new softphone session.

Every device had a smart application,

Available to download for free;

There’s no premises gear, so have no fear

For King Cole and his mobility.

3736

Goosey Goosey gander

Goosey Goosey gander,

Your deskphone now can wander,

To 3G or to Wi-Fi,

Whichever one is stronger.

Video and voice calls,

IM and presence too,

Enabled with a softphone

That’s twinned to look like you.

3938

Baa, Baa Black Sheep

Baa, baa, black sheep,

How often do you tweet?

More than I’d like to,

A hundred times a week;

Once with my own thoughts,

And twice when I’m out,

And ninety-seven other times

Just to boost my Klout.

4140

Sing a song of sixpence

Sing a song of sixpence,

A T1 trunk I tried.

Four and twenty timeslots,

But monthly costs are high.

Can I now get IP?

Coz benefits it brings;

Unified comms, lower costs,

The next time my phone rings.

4342

Mary had a little lamb

Mary had a little lamb,

Who worked at the Telco.

And when she wanted a new plan,

The lamb was sure to know.

It’s the best business bundle,

Which met all her needs.

It kept her happy in the cloud,

And out of the weeds.

Gifted by Metaswitch

NETWORK TECHNOLOGIES AND SERVICES ARE MOVING TO THE CLOUD

– AND NURSERY RHYMES ARE GOING WITH THEM.

Geese, mice and old kings have been made redundant, replaced with SIP trunks,

softphones and hosted services – topics that will put even the most restless child to sleep.

“Silver Linings - Nursery rhymes for cloudy times” is the first book by authors Steve

Gleave and Iwan Price-Evans, and illustrator Lee Queza. As technology marketers, they

were happy to find another outlet for their fanciful narratives and dreamy illustrations.