smiles and uplifts particularly for women

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Humorous quotations are from funny women and Patricia Morgan. Fun images are from Patricia's personal files. Enoy!

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Page 1: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

1

Page 2: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

If it is hard to

say “no”, say

“I do not want

to say yes!”

Patricia Morgan

Page 3: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

3

You take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: No one to blame. Erica Jong

Page 4: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

4

Between two

evils, I always

pick the one I

never tried before.

Mae West

Page 5: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

May you hum

to yourself,

“I am so

beautiful,

to me. Oh!

Yes, I am!”

Patricia Morgan

Page 6: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

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The only time

a woman really

succeeds in

changing a

man is when

he is a baby.

Natalie Wood

Page 7: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

7

When I learned

to breathe deeply,

I saved my

children’s lives.

Patricia Morgan

Page 8: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

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I figure if the

kids are alive

at the end of

the day, I’ve

done my job.

Roseanne Barr

Page 9: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

9

What is the golden

rule for cows?

Do unto udders as

you would have

udders do unto you!

Groaning? Farm girl in me did not resist!

Page 10: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

I was raised by

a mother who said,

“Dust? Why, that is

just clean dirt!”

Patricia Morgan

Page 11: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

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I will clean

house when

Sears comes

out with a riding

vacuum cleaner.

Roseanne Barr

Page 12: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

12

Laugh and the world

laughs with you.

Cry and you cry

with your girlfriends.

Laurie Kuslansky

Page 13: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

Never forget,

you are a some-bunny

to someone.

Yes you are!

Patricia Morgan

Page 14: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

14

If you can not

be kind, at least

be vague.

Judith Martin

Page 15: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

15

The world’s biggest

joke just might be

how seriously you

take yourself!

Patricia Morgan

Page 16: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

16

You are only

young once,

but you can

be immature

forever.

Germaine Greer

Page 17: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

17

A Friend Is Like Good Panty Hose...

• Hard to find

• Supportive

• Always lifts you up

• Makes you look better

• Covers your behind

Page 18: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

18

Tried on a thong

yesterday.

I’m still trying

to dig it out.

“Maxine” J. Wagner

Page 19: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

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When you’re not thin

and blonde,

you come up with

a personality

real quick.

Kathy Najimy

Page 20: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

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I discovered Victoria’s Secret! She has no thing for women my age, my size, my modesty . . . Patricia Morgan

Page 21: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

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If you can not be

a good example,

then you will

just have to be a

horrid warning.

Catherine Aird

Page 22: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

22

I would

have been

much more

successful if

I had married

a wife like me!

Patricia Morgan

Page 23: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

23

Never go

to bed mad.

Stay up and fight!

Phyllis Diller

Page 24: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

24

The best Floor Play

there

ever was and is.

Patricia Morgan

Page 25: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

25

It doesn’t matter what

you do in the bedroom

as long as you don’t

do it in the street

and frighten the horses.

Beatrice S. Campbell

Page 26: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

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There is no

sexpiration date.

AND you can aim

to become

Old Fart’s Tart.

Patricia Morgan

Page 27: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

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This is what I

think of

aging gracefully!

Patricia Morgan

Page 28: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

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Page 29: Smiles and Uplifts Particularly for Women

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Never forget; we have come a long way!

Photo Courtesy Glenbow Archives NA-206-27