January 2017 Editor: Jim Matchett Start of another year. New Year's resolutions! I guess it won't be long before most of the ones you made are broken. Many years ago I learned how to not break a resolution. The trick is to set your goals very low. For example, this year I resolve to continue putting stupid jokes in the ROAR. It should be easy to meet that goal. Here is one to start: What does a Spanish farmer say to his chickens?

Ole. See? One New Year's resolution met already.

What Has Been Happening Around Here? For those of you who may be unaware, Jim Doyle had a fall at the club recently. Seems he fell off a ladder while working outside the club. He injured his ankle pretty badly and has had a couple of operations on it. His cast was removed on December 22nd. He had a non-walking boot put on but that came off last week. I know I speak for everyone when I wish Jim a speedy recovery.

Here's a message from our President. Mark Romer: Best wishes to all MWCC members for the New Year ahead! The coming months will feature two exciting tournaments (Calcutta & Shamrock) and lots of league play! In addition to your participation as a player, please give some time to help our organizers with running these events.

I had a dream. It was 2018. There was a huge earthquake that did $2 billion worth of improvements to Montreal roads.

Match Here's a report from Match Chairman, Jeff Cohen: Turkey Shoot Another Turkey Shoot has come and gone. The turkeys have survived for another year although there were still lots of feathers around the club the following night. It seems they were hiding behind the bar until all the pizza was gone then they strutted around the club without fear. There were 14 teams entered on Monday, December 19th for this competition. The winners were: First Draw (18.5 points) (16.5 points) Johnathan Knight Kathy Hebert Tyler Rowley Bill Lynam Brian Williams Trish Dempsey Jean-Marie Martin Danny Bell Second Draw (19 points) (17.5 points) Anna Grafton Francois Monarque Claude Tellier Gord Bowles Adam Cartwright Bonnie Soutar Erin Ryan Pierre Cadorette Erin's winning margin over Pierre's team was decided on the last rock of her game. A good time was had by all.......even the turkeys who gobbled up the few remains of the pizzas (Chicago Pizza delivered the goods.). Door prizes were given out. Want more PHOTOS? Check out the BLOG POST on our Website. A big thank you to Jeff Cohen for running this event and from Jeff to: Mark Romer and Bonnie Soutar for helping with the tournament. Rob Williams and Trevor Murray for the help with the ice. Ed Jones for his help and guidance.

Past Presidents Ladder (Tuesdays) – Standings as of December 20th. Grafton Hunt Competition - Standings as of December 22nd.

When an ambitious lawyer learns that a well-known judge has just died he quickly phones his superiors to let them know he would be willing to take his place. Their reply is not slow in coming “That’s fine with us but you had better check with the undertaker.”

Day Ladies Here's a report from Mary Sutherland: The Day Ladies celebrated Christmas with a Fun Day organized by Hille Viires and Rosemary Cochrane. The sweeping calls were Christmas songs with lots of jingle bell jingling and fa-la-la-ing, but what meant sweep and what was stop? All this fun was followed by another delicious lunch catered by Jacques Gilmore. We also celebrated Mary Johnston and June Gray's special birthdays. June is older! Mary's birthday wasn't until December 19th. We can all hope to be around the curling club when we are 90. Susan

RANK TEAM TM# PTS GMS WINS TIES1 Grafton 10 27 10 8 12 Haliburton 9 27 11 83 Holdaway 12 26 10 84 Jean 5 26 10 85 Ship 6 25 10 7 16 Cadorette 2 20 10 57 Fajertag 8 20 10 58 Stachura 7 18 10 49 Watson 13 18 11 3 110 Cohen 11 17 10 3 111 Matchett 3 16 10 2 212 Toteda 4 14 10 213 Betournay 1 10 10

MTL. WEST BRIER LEADER BOARD GH Ladder Draw 2 RESULTS - A DivisionRANK TEAM TM# PTS WIN TIE

1 Hall 1 12 4 04 Philion 4 10 3 02 Grafton 2 9 2 18 Williams 8 9 2 15 Fajertag 5 8 2 03 Murray 3 6 1 06 Dubeau 6 6 1 07 M. Watson 7 4 0 0

GH Ladder Draw 2 RESULTS - B DivisionRANK TEAM TM# PTS WIN TIE

1 Myers 3 12 4 02 T. Watson 4 10 3 03 Cohen 6 10 3 04 Ryan 1 6 1 05 Romer 5 6 1 06 Betournay 2 4 0 0

Upham and Joslyn Shultz entertained us with special songs for June and Mary, plus other Christmas tunes rewritten by Susan. We are well into the second series of curling competitions. This year there are five teams vying for the Royal Montreal on Tuesdays and six for the Past Presidents on Thursdays. Our new curlers seem to be enjoying their first real games. The Winners and Runners-up of the fall Crystal Competition were: Winners: Hille Viires Runners-up Victoria (Mavi) Gomez Wendy Yarnell Rosemary Cochrane Marnie Linder Susan Hussey Cathy Hughes Susan Upham The December luncheon bridge was a lot of fun with great food, including mushroom sandwiches. So if you missed out, reserve your table now for February 8. The sign-up sheets are in the ladies locker room. The Day Ladies wish you all a very Happy and especially Healthy New Year.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down. LCA (Ladies Curling Association) Here's a report from Angela Geoffredo: Hello everyone. Curling is in full swing with club tournaments and with the LCA.

Debutantes Challenge On Saturday, November 26 the LCA held this competition (for the 5 yrs. and under evening curlers) at our club hosted by the Day Ladies. This bonspiel is one day only: 2 – 8 end games and points are awarded for the top 2 teams. A welcome coffee and sweet breads were provided by our catering committee prior to the first game. Five clubs entered: Pointe Claire, Lachine, Hudson Whitlock, Glenmore and Baie d’Urfe. Glenmore was the winner with Lachine placing second. Congratulations to Glenmore and Baie-D' Urfé who showed some fine new curlers and to all the skips behind the glass – good cheering! Dudley Kerr Challenge This challenge, for 5 years and under curlers, was scheduled to play November 24, with Pointe Claire

challenging us at our club. Unfortunately, Pointe Claire could not find 4 players who could fit into this category and had to default. Unfortunately we also had to default to Glenmore at the next Challenge, as 2 of the 4 curlers were not available to play on the assigned date at Glenmore. Glenmore moves on to play Lachine January 5. We wish them luck. The Lady Tweedsmuir and the McCallum Filly - Hamilton Shield The first one (double rink entry) will have playdowns at various clubs during January, and the second (restricted to curlers in their 7th year or less) playdowns will be at Montreal West on January 25th. Our Day Ladies will be hosting with coffee and sweetbreads before the first game at 9:30. The second game will start around 1:00. Come out and cheer the teams during the morning and afternoon draws. Check the LCA Bulletin Board in the Ladies Lounge for further information if you would like to enter a team for one of these two competitions. There is still time to do this. For further information for other LCA events, be sure to check the LCA bulletin board in the Day Ladies Lounge. New -LCA competition information will be on the club’s web site sometime during January. Additional LCA information can be found on their website at www.ladiescurlingassociation.com/calendar for competitions and results. Until next month, happy curling. My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. Mixed Day Curling Christmas Luncheon: Here's a report from Ray Dubrule: The MWCC mixed Day Curling held its Christmas party on December 20th. The guest speaker was Joey Elias of CJAD. There was an excellent participation from the various leagues of the MWCC. Mark Romer, our president, mentioned that he was really impressed by the turn-out and the organization. A total of 77 were in attendance. The guest speaker Joey Elias did a great job keeping the group on the edge of tears. The food was excellent. We know someone (not to mention names) who went up for 3rds.

The totality of the $350 collected for the ½ & ½ was given out as well as an additional $400 in door prizes. At that level, the crowd was spoiled. Considering the entry fee, we can guarantee you that no money was made at this event. It can be said that a good time was had by all. We have received no complaints to date Special thanks must be given to Laurence Hogue, Bill Lynam and "the Tireless Joe Blow"(a.k.a. Joe Balogh) who set up the tables and hall for all to enjoy.

If at first you don't succeed, try doing it the way your wife suggested in the first place. Dodd Gray League play 1st half Here is a report from Bob Lemesurier: Winners:

Bill Lynam Laurence Hogue Nacy Gallant Ray Dubrule James Botsford Runners-up: Al Kmec Joe Balogh Martin Jacobs Jacques Lacroix

The remainder of the teams finished in this order: Jean- Marie Martin Bob Lemesurier Jack Ford Doug Allan Joe Wroblewski Dave Dubeau/Bob Carson Paul Doyle Mike Homonko Gary Barker Winner and runners-up of the Dodd Gray playoffs 1st half day curling were: Winners (31.5 points) 1st runners-up (30.5 points) 2nd runners-up (29 points) Al Kmec Claude Labrecque Tim Curran Joe Balogh Gloria Caron Joelle Green Martin Jacobs Carlos daRosa Jim Matchett/Ed Jones Jacques Lacroix Jack Ford Joe Wroblewski Congratulations everyone. Interclub It looks like our interclub teams are on a bit of a roll. We had 5 'run-ins' with other clubs that amounted to 17 games. We had 8 wins and 3 ties to brag about. The 6 losses were no doubt due to bad luck and injuries. The conditioning program instituted by Chip Mowat is certainly paying dividends. Here are the latest results: On November 30, Mount Royal visited our club. We had 3 wins and 1 loss. The winning teams were: Ron McKenna Joe Balogh Bill Lynam Pierre Dufour Phil Fajertag Gerry Sabourin Doug Allen Nick Dipietro Bob Carson Dave Dubeau Jacques Lacroix Jean-Marie Martin On December 2nd, Hudson Whitlock were our next victims at our club. We had 2 wins and a tie. The winning and tying teams were: Winners Tying team Bill Lynam. Bert Mombourquette. Joe Balogh Ed Jones. Ray Dubrule. Pierre Dufour Russ Haliburton. Rick Hughes. Gerry Sabourin Dave Dubeau. James Botsford. Phil Fajertag

At Hudson Legion on December 7th, we managed only a tie in the 2 games we played (I had understood it was bad ice that caused the lack of a win until I learned the bad ice was in the drinks after the game). Our tying team was: Bill Lynam Rick Hughes Gerry Sabourin Phil Fajertag On December 9th, we were still suffering the after effects of the bad ice at Hudson Legion when we played Laval at our club. We had only 1 win and a tie in the four games played against Laval. Our winning and tying teams were: Winners: Bill Lynam. Tying team: Harvey Artsob Ray Dubrule. Chip Mowat Martin Jacobs. Rick Hughes Phil Fajertag. Bob Carson Back to our winning form on December 16th at Royal Montreal. 2 wins out of 3 games played. The winning teams were: Harvey Artsob. Bill Lynam Gloria Caron. Ray Dubrule Martin Jacobs. Pierre Dufour Robbie Sproule. Jean-Marie Martin Looks like the best bet for winning is to have Bill Lynam on your team. That’s it for 2016 – bring on 2017!!!!! ........and the message from Interclub Tsar Chip Mowat to everyone is... Have a happy and healthy 2017.

Some members of our interclub were having their first meeting with Chip Mowat to talk about getting into shape for the season. Chip said, “Now, I’d like each of you to give the facts of your daily routine.”

Several people spoke, admitting their excesses. Then one obviously overweight member said, “I eat moderately, I drink moderately; and I exercise frequently.”

“Hmm,” said Chip. “And are you sure you have nothing else to add?”

“Well, yes,” admitted the member, “I lie extensively.”

TGIF Competition Here's a report from Randy Fraser:

TGIF concluded our first session with playoffs, and what a playoff it was. In the semi-final our 4th place team beat the first place team and the 3rd place team beat the second place team. All of this created a 4th vs. 3rd final and a 1st vs. 2nd bronze medal game.

The bronze was finally won by Norm's team (Joelle and Phil) over Paula's team (Lester, Greg and Francine). Anthony (Elise, Mike and Bill) crushed Robert's (Randy, Jonathan and Georgia) in the gold medal game. We would like to wish Mike and Rinetta all the best as they engineer a move to Toronto. You guys have been spectacular members and a ton of fun to curl with. And we wish Bill a comfortable and relaxed winter at his cottage. You can curl with us any time Bill. Elise, best wishes for a speedy recovery. You are in our hearts. Finally, Happy Holidays to all TGIF members, as well as other members and families. We wish you health and peace throughout 2017. As for us, we wish for several instructional graduates to fill in our teams in 2017.

Let’s face it, if you’d really loved me, you’d have married someone else.

Carpet Bowling Here's a report from Kathy Hardiman: Nothing to report about carpet bowling activities but we do want to send our best for 2017 to all our fellow members.

Junior Curling Here's a report from Trish Dempsey: Wow, are we already halfway into the season!? Several of our Juniors have been active in recent club events, as well as friendly interclub matches and our very own in-house Junior league. There will be even more participation in bonspiels in the second half of the season, including a potential tournament in Vankleek Hill! Results of the Myke Wilder Junior In-House League for the first half of the season will be announced in the New Year – it’s a pretty tight race for the trophy so far! Congratulations to Massimo Ciamberlano, this year’s recipient of the Helen M. Reid Memorial Award of a one-season Junior membership!! This award is to encourage youth to develop their teamwork skills and to lead an active lifestyle. Helen Reid was an active member of H.M.S. Victory Chapter, IODE, for over 45 years, and also a keen member of MWCC. At the time of her death in February 2012, a fund was set up from donations in her memory from her family and friends to the Chapter. This award will continue to be given for several

years until the fund is depleted. At the end of November, we sent two teams to a Junior funspiel at Glenmore. The U-12 team – Clovis Leclerc, William Zaifman, Yikai Fu and Robin Meldrum (coached by Mark Watson) – won both of their games and finished second place in their division. However, a source has revealed that the players may have been even more excited about winning the “guess the amount of jelly beans in the jar” contest!! Special thanks to Ben, Alex and Tyler (and their moms!) for coming out to cheer on their fellow Little Rockers! The U-21 team also played well, and finished fourth place overall. Players were Tyler Watson, Tyler Rowley, Simon Marcotte, David Wertheimer and Nathan Shepherd (coached by Marianne Lynch). The team won a cash prize, and

generously donated it back to our very own Junior program – thanks, boys! We kicked off December by hosting a pair of Interclub games. Our Little Rocks team played a team from Pointe-Claire, and our older Juniors faced a team from Vankleek Hill. Shout out to first-year curler Leah Corbin-O’Kill for enthusiastically joining the Vankleek Hill team, since they were down a player.

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She played against fellow juniors: Danny Bell, Alec Zarrow, Andrew Moll and Jeremy Shepherd (coached by Janet Walpole). Pointe-Claire’s Little Rocks team was also missing two players, so our very own Benjamin Edwards-Martinez and Aiden Cochrane completed the team. They played against Francois Gariepy, Clovis Leclerc, Ben Glazer and Yikai Fu. We have two U-21 teams that played in the Tim Caverly Christmas Bonspiel, which took place over the holidays. Results from this spiel will be in the next ROAR, but we

generally do very well as a club and made the finals in the spiel several years in a row! Dominique Jean and her competitive Junior team have qualified for provincials again this season! Last year, they won the silver medal when the event was at MWCC. This year, they will be one of five girls’ teams to compete for the title of Junior Champion January 3rd to 8th, 2017. The tournament will take place in Sherbrooke and Lennoxville, and the winner will represent Quebec at Nationals. Let’s go, les filles! Coming up in the New Year:

- Jan 3-8: Junior provincials - Jan 7: first Junior practice of 2017!! - Jan 15: Big Rock interclub game at Glenmore - Jan 21: Little Rock interclub game at MWCC (and

regular Junior practice) - Jan 27-29: Leprechaun Junior bonspiel at MWCC

(no Junior practice Jan 28)

For more information, feel free to contact any member of the Junior Committee and check out our Junior Page on the MWCC Website

• Program Coordinator: Janet Walpole (514-246-8099 or janet.walpole@sympatico.ca) • Big Rocks & In-House League: Trish Dempsey (438-822-0152 or trish.dempsey@hotmail.com) • Little Rocks: Mark Watson (514-488-5943 or A050@sympatico.ca) • Clothing Orders: Jim Cochrane (514-389-6546 or jim.ccr@sympatico.ca)

A high-school student came home from school seeming rather depressed. “What's the matter, son," asked his mother. “Aw, gee," said the boy, “It's my marks. They're all wet." “What do you mean “all wet?'" “I mean," he replied, “below C-level."

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Wednesday evening EHL Here is a report from Bonnie Soutar: The Fall draw has ended and our champions have been determined. Congratulations to Team Dubeau for their 8-2 record!

Mandy Lecocq Lauren Barrett Robert Assaly Dave Dubeau

The Winter draw begins on January 4th, and there are a couple of spots open for new players. Please contact Angie or Mike at match.ehl@gmail.com to join this fun and friendly league. May 2017 be a year of great curling, good health and new adventures for you all!

WMSCL

Here is a report from Anthony Altobello: (Games up to and including Dec 18)

RANK Team Games won

Games tied

Games loss

Games forfeit

Total Points

1 Mark Dozois 9 0 2 0 29 2 Tony Addona 6 1 4 0 24 3 James Botsford 4 4 3 0 23 4 Kathy Hebert 5 1 5 0 22 5 Michael Mckeown 4 2 5 0 21 6 Rick Hughes 4 2 5 0 21 7 Angela Marszalek 4 0 6 1 18 8 Anthony Altobello 2 2 7 0 17

Position by points does not take into consideration head to head games won within the same position.

EHL RESULTS - FALL 2016

RANK WTL PTS TEAM TM# WIN TIE PTS

1 26 Dubeau 4 8 0 68 2 24 Allen 3 7 0 71 3 22 Romer 5 6 0 64 4 22 Tellier 9 6 0 63 5 21 Linder 2 5 1 66 6 21 Belanger 10 5 1 58 7 19 Cohen 6 4 1 53 8 17 Soutar 1 3 1 48 8 17 Marszalek 11 3 1 48 9 16 Lemieux 7 3 0 58

10 15 Fabry 8 2 1 47

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Canfir Canfir is a mixed social curling league of various ages and skill levels. We play Sunday mornings from 11:00 am to 1:00 pm, followed by a light lunch. If you are interested in sparing for Canfir, please send an email to canfircurling@gmail.com or call Nancy Duplessis (Canfir President) at 514-962-0052

STANDINGS AS OF SUNDAY DECEMBER 18

Teams Games Won Games Lost Games Tied Total Points

Jeff Cohen 6 3 1 23

Sophie Belanger 6 4 0 22

Rob Williams 6 4 0 22

Danny Boyd 5 4 1 21

Luc Arseneau 5 5 0 20

Pierre Cadorette 4 4 2 20

Bob LeMesurier 4 6 0 18

Howie Myers 2 8 0 14

Canfir concluded the first half of its season on December 18 with abbreviated 6-end games followed by the annual draw to the button competition. This year’s winners were: Lead - J.B. Allard, 2nd – Harvey Artsob, 3rd – Pierre Dufour and Skip – Howie Myers. The traditional potluck Christmas party scheduled for December 18 was altered thanks to an extremely generous offer by Nacy Gallant. Nacy offered to cook a turkey for the group! Nacy’s offer was gratefully accepted and, aided by his sous-chef son Ronnie, an absolutely fabulous meal was prepared. Sincere thanks to Nacy, Ronnie and the many volunteers who helped set up the tables, serve the food and clean up. Keeping with the Christmas spirit, Canfir collected non-perishable food items which were donated to the NDG Food Depot.

Please take a moment to check out Canfir’s Facebook Page for the latest buzz about our league and the curling world. While you’re there, don’t forget to “Like” our page.

The best vitamin for making friends..... is B1.

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What’s Happening Over the Next Few Weeks? January 2 - Vice Presidents Bonspiel 18 - Men's District Bonspiel 25 - McCallum Filly- Hamilton Shield competition

27-29 - Junior's Leprechaun Bonspiel 30 - Calcutta auction February 6-10 - Lyle Bradford Calcutta

A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible. The short story had to contain the following three things: (1) Religion (2) Sexuality (3) Mystery There was only one A+ paper in the entire class. Below is the A+ short story: “Good God!! I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?”