sophiatown...the following report outlines the work of the bertrams team throughout the year 2014....

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SOPHIATOWN

COMMUNITY PSYCHOLOGICAL SERVICES

NPO 028-326 PBO 18/11/13/1278

4 Lancaster Road, Westdene 2092 + PO Box 177, Westhoven 2142 Tel: +27 (0)11 482 8530 + Fax: +27 11 482 8714

Email: [email protected]

mailto:[email protected]

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Contents 2014: The year of The Big Storm .................................................................................................................. 4

Your tea is very nice but the cup is too small: M and E in 2014 ................................................................. 5

What the numbers say (or don’t) ................................................................................................................ 7

Time, love, space and ears to listen: Individual and Family Counselling ................................................... 8

Blue is courage, pink is responsibility, yellow is light: The power of group ............................................ 11

1. The Suitcase Group ......................................................................................................................... 11

1.1. Background and Objectives .................................................................................................... 11

1.2. The Participants ...................................................................................................................... 11

1.3. Process .................................................................................................................................... 12

2. The Observatory Girls Council Group ............................................................................................ 12


2.2. Participants ............................................................................................................................. 13

2.3. Process .................................................................................................................................... 13

2.4. Change Indicators ................................................................................................................... 13

3. The Make-A-Difference Entourage Group ..................................................................................... 14


3.2. Participants ............................................................................................................................. 14

3.3. Process .................................................................................................................................... 14

4. The Holiday Programme for Bereaved Teens ................................................................................ 15

4.1. Background and Objective ...................................................................................................... 15

4.2. Participants ............................................................................................................................. 15

4.3. Process .................................................................................................................................... 16


5. The Holiday Programme for Bereaved Children ........................................................................... 18


5.2. Participants ............................................................................................................................. 18

5.3. Process .................................................................................................................................... 18

5.4. Change indicators.................................................................................................................... 18

6. Journey to Wellness ....................................................................................................................... 19


6.2. Participants ............................................................................................................................. 20

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6.3. Process .................................................................................................................................... 20


7. Umoja 1 ........................................................................................................................................... 21


7.2. Participants ............................................................................................................................. 21

7.3. Process .................................................................................................................................... 21


8. Umoja 2 ........................................................................................................................................... 24


8.2. The Participants ...................................................................................................................... 24

8.3. The Process ............................................................................................................................. 24

9. Umoja 3 ........................................................................................................................................... 25


9.2. Participants ............................................................................................................................. 26

9.3. The Process ............................................................................................................................. 26


10. Full or empty: The Parenting Jug ............................................................................................... 28

10.1. Background and Objectives ................................................................................................ 28

10.2. The Participants .................................................................................................................. 29

10.3. The Process ......................................................................................................................... 29

A hungry stomach has no ears: Supportive material Interventions ......................................................... 31

Grow with us: Education and emotional well-being ................................................................................. 32

No organization is an island: Sustaining our Community of Practice ....................................................... 34

Out of the ghetto: challenging the psychology of the quick-fix ............................................................... 35

In Conclusion: a cup of tea ......................................................................................................................... 35

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2014: The year of The Big Storm

2014 has been a tough year for the Children and Families on the Move team and for the

organization as a whole, and in our recent organizational planning meeting we looked back on

the hard lessons it taught us. Within the Bertrams office many things happened which reflect in

a microcosm the reality of the world around us.

A much respected team member disappeared at the end of July- giving no more than a day’s

notice and vanishing without a trace. With him we lost not only a counsellor, community

worker, interpreter, community activist and soccer fanatic, but also a trusted colleague and

friend. We can only surmise what motivated the sudden departure and have over time come to

accept and respect a decision in all likelihood precipitated by security risks related to his

opposition to a dictatorial regime in his home country. It took many weeks of intense debriefing

to help in particular the women in the Umoja groups and the children in the park to work

through their feelings of betrayal, which inevitably sparked off traumatic memories of past

losses.

A second team member was admitted to hospital for what should have been a minor, routine

operation and ended up for months in intensive care after negligent doctors botched the

procedure and in trying to fix the damage consistently caused more. Six months later this young

woman is still far from recovery. As an asylum-seeker herself she has little hope of ever

receiving an apology, never mind some form of compensation for the horrific physical and

emotional suffering she has been put through. Instead she has been forced to sign a

commitment to pay an exorbitantly high amount to the public hospital in which she was

maimed for life.

HIV/AIDS in all its complex manifestations also knocked on the door, and with the director’s

child critically ill in hospital for most of the second half of the year, the Bertrams team was

affected by a distracted leader, who did not take sufficient note of some of the dynamics

unfolding around a senior team member, whose personality and behavior caused a great deal

of pain and distress to some colleagues. The matter came to a head in September and

fortunately was then swiftly dealt with. The emotional after-effects, however, lingered and had

to be addressed in meetings with individual team members as well as an externally-facilitated

team process.

The effect of all this on services? To the credit of the Bertrams team, the departure of three

team members did not affect the direct services to clients. The now very much reduced team

pulled together in the most amazing way to make sure that all clients who came to the door

were attended to, that clients were counselled through any feelings of loss and abandonment

the sudden reduction in the service may have evoked in them, and (with the exception of the

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MADE group for teenagers) groups continued without major disruption. The new weltwaerts

volunteers took over the FOZ group for children in the park, the Observatory Council group, and

the many small, but essential duties of driving, shopping and sandwich making, which the

smooth running of the service depends on.

But while clients and team members were held and supported through what is now referred to

as “the big storm”, certain tasks did suffer. The work on the data base came to a halt as did the

much needed update of the website. Some of the documentation we hoped to complete simply

did not find its time and space, and the timeous submission final report of the external

evaluator was affected by this.

Nevertheless, the team is proud to have weathered the storm and as we reflect on some of the

hard lessons it has taught us, we also realize that it has helped us to become stronger, more

determined and more united in our passion for our work. And of course there have been the

many wonderful moments which put the storm into its place: the excitement of working with

Amelia Kleijn, our external evaluator and re-discovering the little and big changes in our clients’

lives that make it all worthwhile; the six days of working together with mothers on the

challenges of parenting under conditions of extreme survival stress; the steady growth of the

Study Buddies programme; the excitement when a teenager returned the MP3 player he had

stolen during the holiday programme; the arrival of new volunteers with new skills and ideas;

the thriving vegetable garden at the back of the House of Dreams; our initiation in Rwanda into

an African feminist community of practice, and many, many more.

The following report outlines the work of the Bertrams team throughout the year 2014. We

sincerely hope that it conveys the spirit of a team that has come through a storm, has been

cleansed by it, and remains committed to the work of being fully present for each person that

comes through the door.

Your tea is very nice but the cup is too small: M and E in 2014

2014 has also been the year of an external evaluation. This was conducted by Dr Amelia Kleijn,

an experienced social worker, gender specialist and researcher. For the team the process of

participating in the evaluation was an exciting and enriching one. Dr Kleijn at all times gave

feedback and support, and was able to acknowledge and

make room for the real difficulties of accommodating an

academic exercise in the midst of the practical realities of

day-to-day demands, while at the same time maintaining a

researcher’s discipline and rigor. In one of the focus groups a

client commented positively on the quality of the service

(your tea is very nice), while insistent that it was constrained

by its reach (the cup is too small). The phrases have struck a

chord with the team and the evaluator- we try to do our

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work as best we can, but it will always seem small and insignificant in relation to the need out

there. The tea, however, is there for whoever wants to drink it from its all-to-small cup.

The main difficulty experienced in terms of data gathering for external and internal evaluation

processes, has been the variance in figures caused by the migration from the old (home-made)

data base to the Soweto Care System, a much more sophisticated data capturing system

developed initially for home-based care organizations but now used by a wide range of partners

in the NPO sector. Although we have technical and conceptual support from the two experts

managing the cloud-based system in Johannesburg, some data has been lost and there has

been a considerable mix up in the classification of information between the old and the new

data bases. For example the old data base did not make provision for “unique” clients, so that

there was always a risk that a client could be counted twice, if she was in more than one

programme, especially since the final calculation of figures had to be done manually. In

addition, the old data base could only accommodate participants in training and debriefing

programmes as “clients”, whereas counselling and training programmes have been clearly

conceptually separated in the new data base.

Monitoring and Evaluation is about measuring change and as such it is product of a paradigm

that separates people into the observer and the observed, assuming the observer approaches

the observed (in our case the client) from a perspective “unpolluted” by her relationship with

the object of her observation. There is a very real (and may be inevitable) risk that M and E

becomes a technology which justifies the unequal power relationships in our society and

negates the very human nature of all interaction. Kaplan and Davidoff have put it beautifully in

their reflections on activism, which, like M and E, has become so bound up with change

“management” as to be in danger of losing its radicalism:

“The notion of social technologies commodifies the experience of being human, turning activism

into a technology and side-stepping the simple humanity of immediacy, presence, intimacy and

love.” (Kaplan, A. & Daivdoff, S.: A Delicate Activism. The Proteus Initiative. p.7)

Sophiatown as an organization is in the business of “immediacy, presence, intimacy and love.”

In acquiescing to the call to prove change through the social technology of M and E only, we are

at risk of losing the integrity of our intimacy with our clients- an intimacy which shapes our lives

and relationships as much as we shape theirs. On the other hand, we acknowledge the critical

importance of accountability to funding partners, and professional bodies and, most

importantly to the people we claim to serve.

This is a dilemma we face every time a report is due and one which challenges us perhaps to

parallel Kaplan’s and Davidoff’s call for a “delicate activism” with a similar call for accountability

processes that do justice to the delicate nature and balance of human relationships,

interactions and intimacies.

For this report each team member has been requested to complete an evaluation from for at

least five clients she has seen in the past year- using clinical judgment and observation as a tool

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to give some indication of the value of the counselling process. A similar form was filled in for

each group intervention. These technical tools, however, remain meaningless if they are not

accompanied by mind-heart- and soul accounts of the actual relationship between two or more

people. It is here that the richness of the work lies, it is here that human beings meet in an

intimate space to shape each other’s lives into something a little more whole, a little more

loving, a little more meaningful.

What the numbers say (or don’t)

Keeping the above challenges in mind, we have been able to draw the following information

from the Soweto Care System:

A total of 466 “unique” clients were seen as part of the Children and Families on the Move

Programme. Of these 309 (66%) are new clients, seen for the first time in 2014. The remainder

are clients who have been carried over from previous years. Just over half the clients (53%) are

seen for individual counselling only; while 21% have been seen only for group interventions,

and the remainder have been attending both group and individual

interventions.

Of the total number of clients seen, 76% are women and girls,

reflecting once again the gendered burden of care in communities.

Children and adolescents make up 37% of the client population, with

61% of these falling into the age range of 13 to 18 years. The child-

rearing age group of 25 to 34 is represented the strongest with 57% of

all clients over the age of 18 falling into this group.

Thirty nine percent of the clients seen in 2014 are South Africans, while

a further 42% come from the DRC. Other nationalities include Angola

(14) and Zimbabwe (55), with Burundi, Zambia, Swaziland, Tanzania

and Mozambique making up the rest.

The problems clients present with when they first come to the centre are related to (in order of

prevalence): extreme poverty and material need; forced displacement; separation from

significant others; bereavement; traumatic stress; and gender based violence. Over 50% of

clients are referred by word of mouth, the other main source of referrals being NGOs and CBOs

in the community.

What the figures do not tell us about is the intensity of engagement that each person that

comes into the service requires. Most people seek help with the daily stresses of survival (rent,

food, school fees, medical care) and have little understanding or patience for the idea of long-

term involvement in an emotional healing process. Each time the counsellor needs to listen to

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the client at many levels. She needs to have an ear open for the very real material need that the

client is bringing to the room (is there somebody who can meet it?); and with the other ear she

also needs to be attuned to the organizational prerogative of counselling (as opposed to

material relief). With the inner ear she needs to hear and hold the deep trauma and distress

associated with not being able to provide for even the most basic needs of loved ones; and at

the same time listening and soothing her own sense of helplessness in the face of such painful

deprivation. And so even the knock on the door that comes with a request for school shoes for

a six year old demands a depth of awareness of self and the other that cannot be brushed off

with a quick referral or simple rejection (“that is not what we do here.”) In fact, most clients

who experience this intense emotional engagement around the very real emotional distress

aroused by the lack of school shoes, in the end commit themselves to long-term individual and

group processes.

Time, love, space and ears to listen: Individual and Family Counselling

“I am happy every time when I am in this centre because you always receive me with a smile on

your face and you are kind to me. Even if you don’t give me what I have asked for, you give me

your time, love, space and your ears to listen to my problems. I always find peace in this space

after talking to you because I don’t have anyone at home to talk to about my problems. Some

time I went to XXX, but the way they treated me- as if I am not a human being. You know, some

time, if you don’t give me something, just a smile on your face gives me hope.”

Jenny who is quoted above is yearning for hope. She has suffered trauma

and loss beyond human comprehension in the war against the M23 rebel

group in and around Goma in late 2012. The only survivor of a stable and

loving family, South Africa has been anything but a safe haven for her.

Homelessness and sexual violence have followed her and the only safe

space she has is in the Bertrams office, is the smile of Patience who makes

her tea, and the relationship with her counsellor who is there for her, who

helps her find words and tears, and bears with her the unbearable.

The Bertrams team compiled detailed assessment forms for 30 adult clients

who were seen for five or more sessions in the past year. Jenny is one of

them. Of the 30 reviewed, 28 are women and 63%, like Jenny, come from the DRC. The number of

sessions attended by these clients ranges from 5 to 79, with an average of 22 sessions. The vast majority

of the clients (80%) reviewed are in ongoing counselling. Eleven clients attend group as well as individual

sessions.

The most common reason for clients seeking help, as has already been mentioned, is poverty and

material need. Women come looking for support with rent, food, school fees and uniforms, transport

fare to the Refugee Reception Office in Pretoria and the like. At least 60% of the clients reviewed here

have been forcibly displaced, internally, externally or both. Almost 60% of women report some level of

abuse at the hands of their intimate partners. A significant number of women (27% of those reviewed)

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have not been able to access schooling for their children. Accompanying the violations of people’s right

to life, livelihood and safety are all the attendant social, psychological and emotional sequelae. Nearly

60% of the adult clients reviewed suffer from severe depression and have thoughts of suicide. Also, over

60% feel alienated from family and support systems. Half the clients report symptoms of traumatic

stress disorder. Unresolved childhood issues underlie or exacerbate client’s emotional distress in 60% of

the cases reviewed. Displaced anger, unresolved grief, low self-esteem, loss of agency and hope for

future are evident in the majority of clients we work with.

Miriam arrived in South Africa in 2010 after her husband sent her money to follow him with the children.

When she got here, she discovered that he was living in Durban. Initially he sent money for rent and

schooling but this soon dried up and Miriam was forced to fend for herself, selling odd items on the

streets of Hillbrow. She and the daughter are currently undocumented, as they are awaiting a decision of

the Refugee Appeal Board which will determine whether or not they can stay in the country.

Two years ago Miriam was offered a free taxi ride and subsequently robbed of her belongings and raped

by two men. She never went to report the case and did not get any post-exposure prophylaxis.

She could not sleep at night, and having lost all hope for the future and all confidence in her ability to

take charge of her life, she often thought of suicide. This is the state she came into the Bertrams centre.

She has to date attended 13 individual and 20 group sessions.

Under such extreme conditions of stress, what can counselling possibly achieve? The reality is that we

have few if any resources left in the city we can refer clients to for their most immediate material needs.

Often we feel overwhelmed by our own helplessness. We cannot offer a place to sleep or a meal for the

family but we can offer our complete presence. It is this presence that makes it possible for the

helplessness to be acknowledged and shared between two or more people, and when that happens

there is change.

Counsellors rate their observations of change within the counselling relationship in terms of

appearance; commitment to counselling; the range and appropriateness of emotional expressiveness,

the sense of agency; future orientation; social support systems; and degree of anxiety, depression and

suicidal ideation. The most significant change can be detected in the area of agency and future

orientation. Clients who initially presented themselves as passive recipients of hand-outs, start believing

that they can do things for themselves; begin to look beyond the need of the moment and to plan for

the future and initiate action, however, small to change their circumstances. Although most clients

remain relatively isolated in terms of social support systems, there is on average and reduction in

feelings of depression and in suicidal thoughts.

The growth of the person inside the safety of the counselling relationship often translates into positive

change in relationships, in the family, and in income-generating activities. The most commonly reported

change is the taking on of new challenges in the world of family, work or community. Fifty percent of

clients report that they feel that they have developed better relationships with their children, while 53%

are making active efforts to find work or start a small business. Twelve of the women reviewed have

also made efforts to improve their skills base by, for example, enrolling in English language or sewing

classes. One is now making a living out of photography. Five of the 30 women have decided to leave an

abusive relationship while another 6 report that their relationships with existing partners have

improved. Eleven clients have re-established connection with significant others.

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The power of emotional support in helping people reclaim their agency is also evident in the way they

act on their constitutional right to services. Eleven clients were able to successfully place their children

in school. Another 5 obtained much needed personal documentation while 8 clients were able to assert

their right to medical care and four were successful in accessing legal services.

After joining Umoja 1 and coming regularly for her individual counselling sessions, Miriam now says that

she sleeps “like a baby.” Her physical appearance has changed, she pays attention to her hair style and

she is much more animated in her interactions with others. She has emerged a quiet but powerful leader

in the group. She no longer pays bribes to the officers of the metro police but asserts her rights, and is

busy looking for a stand from which she can legally sell her goods.

Children and teenagers from all nationalities make up another very important target group. Most of

these are children of the adult women seen for individual

counselling, group therapy and/or parenting programmes. In the

past year the professional counsellors and therapists have taken on

the challenge of play therapy with very young children, many of

whom display attachment difficulties which can be directly

attributed to the trauma of displacement of often very young

women. These issues play themselves out through aggressive

behaviours, stealing and lying, as well as anxiety and fearfulness.

One such young boy is Joe, at four years the oldest of three children

born to his mother Sara, a refugee from the DRC and his father, who

at the time of referral was in prison awaiting trial for plotting the

overthrow of the regime in his home country. Sara is a deeply traumatized and depressed young woman,

who can barely manage to feed herself and is physically and emotionally not equipped to deal with the

demands of three young children. She constantly looks ill and exhausted as she trails her children down

the Yeoville Mountain to the crèche at the local shelter and then back again in the afternoon to the room

she shares with strangers, who may or may not share a bowl of porridge with her in the evenings.

Joe was referred because of his aggression towards other children in the crèche, as well as his two

younger siblings. He also has speech and language difficulties which further frustrate his communication

with an already taciturn and withdrawn mother. The first task of the therapist was to create a setting in

which Joe felt safe to play and mess. In the playroom he did not show much aggression, but found it

difficult to sustain focus on one activity. Efforts were made to get mother and son to be play with each

other- this proved to be a challenge as there seemed little bonding and engagement with each other.

Gradually Joe has begun to include the therapist in his play, which has become less ritualistic and more

spontaneous. The staff at crèche have reported that Joe now plays more and fights less with his peers.

As has already been mentioned the majority of the children seen by the “East” team are aged between

13 and 18 years old. There is a fairly even mix of teenagers. At least 40% of the teens seen for individual

counselling sessions are referred because of behavior problems such as aggression, stealing, truancy,

substance abuse and sexual acting out. Lindiwe is one of them and her story highlights the tragic effects

of a society’s failure to protect and care for its children:

Lindi’s mother was a sex worker who died when she was three years old. She does not know who her

father is and has no relatives. She was placed in foster care with a woman who rejected her when she

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became a teenager and started expressing her anger and despair through “bad” behavior. She was then

placed in a shelter for destitute girls. The main complaint from the staff is that Lindi is overly controlling

in her relationships with peers and staff, is unable to adhere to appropriate boundaries, and is abusive of

both staff and residents.

In counselling Lindiwe has expressed a deep mistrust of any relationship and an even deeper wish to

belong. Her lack of basic trust in human relationships comes with an exaggerated external locus of

control- she cannot take responsibility for the consequences of her behavior and instead blames out- it is

always the fault of the other girl, the care worker, the teacher. The counselling process has helped her to

express some of the intense anger she harbors against her mother. She has developed some insight into

how her behavior affects others and is trying to control her own responses rather than react to perceived

provocations from others. Most importantly, she is beginning to speak about herself as a person who is

capable of loving.

Counselling does not offer a happy ending to the suffering of Jenni or Miriam, nor does it close the

gaping absence of parental love in the lives of Joe and Lindiwe. What does offer is the opportunity of a

human encounter that is warm and loving, that acknowledges the reality of inner wounds, that is not

afraid to give words to unspeakable, and that is able to sit with helplessness until helplessness itself

becomes a source of transformation. Jenni and Miriam, Joe and Lindi have difficult, painful and

uncertain journeys ahead of them. As counsellors we have the privilege of walking alongside them for a

little bit of the way, of witnessing their suffering, affirming their courage and re-kindling between us the

power of hope.

Blue is courage, pink is responsibility, yellow is light: The power of group

Groups are powerful vehicles for support, solidarity and healing and the group interventions of 2014,

with all its challenges, have again proven this. In the following account, we shall briefly look at the

background and objectives, participants, process, and (where possible or relevant) indicators of change

for each group.

1. The Suitcase Group

1.1. Background and Objectives The objective of this group is to help children who have recently arrived in the city (or who have

been in the city for longer but continue to live very isolated lives) to deal with the trauma of

displacement and the stress of adjustment to a completely different social, economic and

cultural context. The group which started in 2013 and was meant to continue into the first half

of 2014, had disbanded after the Christmas break and the departure of their much loved

facilitator, Thabo Sepuru at the same time. An attempt was made to reconvene the same

children with a new facilitator, but for the children there already had been a natural termination

process, and in fact many of the children were no longer geographically accessible.

1.2. The Participants A new group of 10 children, aged between 9 and 13 (6 boys and 4 girls) started in June 2014 and

is being facilitated by our new social worker, Rebotile Matoane, and Sabrina Kraus, one of the

two weltwaerts volunteers who joined us in August. Attendance has been amazing consistent

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over the 25 sessions that have been held so far, with at least seven of the children being present

for each session.

1.3. Process The most significant change observed so far has been in the confidence of the children and their

ability to negotiate boundaries. Once the initial period of adjustment to the group setting was

over, there was much conflict between the children who, perhaps for the first time in their lives,

found themselves in an environment that allowed the expression of anger and resentment. As

yet the children are reluctant to share narratives of trauma and suffering, and some have little

or no conscious memories of the events that brought them into an alien city. They do, however,

speak openly about the difficulties the painful humiliation of standing in queues at Refugee

Reception offices, often for days, in the hope of getting much

needed stamp of approval for their existence in South Africa.

Loss and bereavement due to death and/or separation from

significant others is another theme that the children are

beginning to tentatively engage with, and there has been

significant growth in the degree to which they are able to

empathize with each other’s losses and express support and

caring for one another.

One unexpected but not surprising observation has been how

much freer the children are when the group takes place in a

wide open space, such as the parking lot at the bottom of the

Bertrams property. All the children spent most of their lives in extremely crowded spaces- often

sharing a single room not only with mother and but also with another family. They have little or

no space to run around, play and express themselves. Their capacity to orient themselves in

space in limited to the immediacy of their living space- the room, the toilet in the yard, the

closest spaza shop, and the way to school. They have no sense of their geographical location in

relation to the larger community or the city.

As this group moves into the second half of its annual programme we feel that it is important for

the children’s social, emotional and cognitive development to get a broader sense of where and

who they are in this city that has become their home, and are building in activities that will

encourage spatial (and emotional) exploration in order to facilitate a sense of being part not

only of a house, a school but also of a wider community.

2. The Observatory Girls Council Group

2.1. Background and Objectives The Observatory Girls Council Group is an annual group targeting Grade 7 girls who have been

identified by their teachers as having leadership potential and as such make up the student

council at the Observatory Girls Primary School. The objective of this group is a broad one. Given

the fact that most girls of this age are burdened with responsibilities in their homes (cleaning,

cooking, and child care); high expectations of turning the family fortunes around through

excellent performance at school; as well as leadership duties within the school (which mainly

involve monitoring and disciplining younger children) means that these young adolescents have

little or no time to simply be young, playful and free to express themselves. The group aims at

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giving them a space for self-exploration that is and self-development that is non-judgmental and

relatively unstructured.

2.2. Participants Twenty four children, all girls aged between 13 and 14 years, were registered for this

programme of whom 50% attended most or all of the sessions. Unfortunately other school

activities or home duties interfered with more regular attendance. It must be noted that this

group was affected by the unanticipated departure of its lead facilitator at the end of

September. We are grateful to our two young weltwaerts volunteers who took over the

programme and ran it until the end of the year.

2.3. Process It took time for this group to build trust with each other and to engage openly about difficult

topics such as loss, sexuality, relationships with parents and the like. However, as the group

became smaller and more intimate this changed.

This group has also taken a longer time building the trust and therefore the willingness to engage in the more difficult topics. Because the group members are familiar with each other, it becomes increasingly difficult to share the more intimate details. Various art and play activities were used to facilitate

conversations around topics relevant to girls of this age and

context, the main one taking the form of autobiographies which

the girls wrote and then shared with each other in the form of a

TV interview. Abandonment and loss were common themes for

these young girls and it was clear that few were ever given the

opportunity to speak about the emotional impact.

My dad passed away too. Before he died he was very ill.

When he was sick he could not even remember my name.

It’s hard to write about my parents getting separated. I wish I could get away from all

these angry feelings.

Feelings of loss and abandonment also needed to be processed when the lead facilitator left,

and it was therefore essential for time and attention to be given to a proper termination

process. From the girls’ comments at the end of the year it does appear that they had

experienced the transition from one facilitator to two new ones as relatively positive emotional

learning experience, noting in particular that they did not feel abandoned by the organization.

I felt like I had to pick between a mom and a mom. I felt like a very important person in

my life had left. But I also found that Anni and Sabrina were very nice.

I felt sad when Shane’ left but it didn’t mean it was over for Sophiatown. We still have

our therapy teachers and it is still the same for me.

2.4. Change Indicators At the end of the year the girls were asked to evaluate the group experience. From their

responses to the question “what did the group mean to you”, it is clear that it did meet the

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objective of providing a space in which the girls could be free of some of the burdens of

responsibility and simply be children:

A lot- they help comfort me and have fun with me

I a way it’s a place of reconciliation and also a place where you can let go and relax

A lot because it helped me through the stress of being a mayoress

A lot because they helped me get through and face challenges. It put a smile on my face.

This theme also came through when the girls talked about the activities they had enjoyed most:

The most positive thing we did was the fun activities and how to solve any problems we

were facing

When we were all happy and said only positive things about each other- and the

amazing games we played,

Mondays are boring but Sophiatown is fun

The reflection on the question “what did you learn” revealed that the children were able to

make use of the space offered to develop a deeper sense of self and presence for others:

I learnt that opening up to people and telling them your hurt and painful feelings can be

really helpful

I learnt that you have to show love to yourself and other people

No matter what other people say- trust in yourself

I learnt a lot of things. I learnt to tolerate and accept people for who they are.

In conclusion, we are confident that despite the organizational events which impacted on this

group, the experience was made a positive contribution to helping these young girls make the

transition into adolescence (and high school) with more insight and self-awareness.

3. The Make-A-Difference Entourage Group

3.1. Background and Objectives The MADE group is an annual programme for teenagers from all nationalities, mostly

children of adult clients who attend individual or group counselling. These teens have been

emotionally affected by a range of issues, primarily death of or separation from loved ones,

the trauma of forced displacement, absent parenting, and role reversals in their families.

The group offers them a space in which they can freely talk about their issues, get support

from peers, and explore different coping mechanisms.

3.2. Participants Although 20 teens registered for this group, a core group of 12 (8 girls and 4 boys) attended

on a regular basis, with attendance rates at any one sessions varying between 7 and 12.

Four of the 12 participants were South Africans.

3.3. Process This group was the most affected by the “big storm”. The unanticipated departure of the

community worker meant that one of the two lead counsellors had to be transferred to the

FOZ group on a temporary basis. The social work student left at the end of August, and the

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other lead facilitator at the end of October. The fact that this group of adolescent opened

up about their personal narratives and distress at a much earlier stage in the group process

than previous groups, also meant that by the time the facilitators left they were in the

middle of the deep work.

3.4. Change Indicators

Given the potential risk to this group as a result of the departure of various facilitators, we

requested the external evaluator to conduct a focus group in order to give the members

chance to openly express their feelings about the group, to assess the need for more

immediate individual support, and to find out from the participants if and how they would

like the team to remedy the situation.

Surprisingly, the teenagers expressed a lot of positive feeling about what the group had

meant to them. They felt that it was giving them support around peer pressure, family

conflict, and the emotional rollercoaster of puberty. They enjoyed meeting new people, felt

welcomed, and felt safe and included.

However, the departure of the lead counsellors did bring up painful feelings of loss and

abandonment which the youngsters articulated very honestly:

It feels like everywhere I go, people leave.

It’s not good. I have lost so many people, you see. And the way I am losing them is

not good, it just happens. They disappear, they get killed, and kidnapped. And when

this happens old memories get brought back.

It feels like it my fault when people leave.

That the children were left with these feelings is of course great cause for concern. During the

final evaluation they were offered a chance to participate in new but similar group, an offer

which was positively received.

4. The Holiday Programme for Bereaved Teens

4.1. Background and Objective Children and adolescents are often excluded from grieving rituals, and family members who

take over the care of the children when a parent has died are often too overburdened with their

own grief as well the increased burden of care to pay much attention to the inner world of

feelings and fantasies that children tend to inhabit after the death of a loved one.

The objective of the annual holiday programme for teenagers who have lost their parents is

threefold: to give the teens a space and an opportunity to share their stories and express their

feelings of loss, abandonment, anxiety and the like; secondly to help the children find some

positives in their lives that can renew hope and a sense of optimism for the future; and finally to

explore networks of support that can be drawn on in the future.

4.2. Participants Twenty six adolescents were drawn for the 2014 holiday programme from two child and youth

care centres were work closely with (Kidshaven and The House) and from the client base in the

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Bertrams office. There were 21 girls and 5 boys aged between the ages of 14 and 18. The

programme took place over a period of five days in the June/July winter holidays.

4.3. Process The main activity around which the process unfolded was the writing and illustration of a

narrative of loss and hope, starting with what the person meant to the child; the experience of

the actual event of death (hearing the news, attending or not attending the funeral); the

unspoken feelings often hiding behind a tough exterior; and

finally inner and outer resources that can be drawn on for

support.

The stories some of the youngsters, especially those living

the child and youth care centres, shared illustrate the extent

to which grief becomes entwined with the trauma of

abandonment and abuse, and how loss of love and belonging

are seldom once- off events which can be processed and put

away:

My parents went to the hospital and left me and my

older brother alone. After this we went to a children’s

home. Somebody adopted us, but I can’t remember who that was. My next memory is

five years later. I left those parents and was taken to another home. Another couple

adopted us. This mother died. I didn’t go to school and the father abused me. Then he

died. I went to live with my brother and after that I went to another shelter. I got

adopted again, but without my brother. He dropped out of school and started do drugs. I

also got involved. We both ended up in jail. I fell pregnant in jail and had a baby girl but

she died after three months from heart failure. Most of the people don’t know about

these things.

I don’t remember the date but it was in 2002. I was living with my granny in Soweto. My

mother came back after living with my stepfather for five years. She was back only for

two months and then she died. I was 8 years old. My stepfather did not want to tell me

what happened. I was very angry because I never had time to spend with my mother. I

did not want to stay with my stepfather and at 14 I ran away. I left for one and a half

years and I smoked and took drugs to get high. My stepfather phoned often but I did not

pick up the phone and eventually I changed my sim card. In 2010 I ended up in prison for

two months. In 2012 I was back in again, for slapping a woman in the face. I never know

my father. Other kids were talking about their father. I didn’t like my stepfather but he

said he loved me.

Most of the stories continued in this vein, only two or three of the teens had experienced the

death of a parent without losing the warmth of family.

Many of the children were also not allowed to attend the funeral, and those who were

experienced it as very traumatic with little or no mediation of the experience by caring adults:

They brought the body of my brother to my granny’s house. My uncle went to get a

coffin. At night they put him in the coffin. I didn’t understand what death is. I tried to

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wake him up, to tell him to come and play with me. My mother said that he is sleeping

and visiting Jesus. When my sister died it was different. I was screaming. I could not stay

with my mom and my aunt. They were beating me. I wanted to die and be with my

sister.

At the funeral I heard the voice of my mother calling me. I asked “Mom, mom, where are

you?” I fell into the grave and blacked out.

I didn’t go to the funeral. People said I was too small, I was 11 years old. It’s a cultural

thing. Now I wish I had gone.

I didn’t go to the funeral. The people from the church did not want me to go. They

wanted me to forget.

This group of children was at an age they could understand the different stages of grief and

when they were explained to them, most placed themselves somewhere between the stages of

anger and bargaining.

A collage activity was used to help the teens reflect on how they perceive their inner world as

opposed to how they present themselves to others. The images representing how they wanted

the world to see them reflected all the cultural stereotypes of the “good” child, while the images

representing the inner world were painfully authentic: broken hearts, angry or crying faces, dark

colours of hurt and betrayal. This led into the next phase of the process- helping the participants

identify people and support systems that could witness their inner world and the brokenness of

their hearts. Each group member was able to find someone: a friend, brothers and sisters, staff

members at the youth care centre, a counsellor, the church, Sophiatown.

4.4. Change Indicators Dr Amelia Kleijn ran focus groups with the participants at the start of the programme, at the end

of the five days, and again six weeks later. It is the latter conversation that was most interesting

as it revealed that the gains the children had spoken about on their last day had in fact, at least

in their own minds, been sustained. These are some of the responses:

I couldn’t deal with the past. I affected me as I don’t have anyone. Now I am different

because if I feel the pain now I know how to deal with it.

It’s easier now because you know you are not the only one who is like that. It’s hardest if

you think that you are the only person who feels that way. At least now you know that

there are people outside who have a worse situation to yours.

Even more affirming were the comments which indicated that the children have integrated an

awareness that it is ok to be vulnerable and to ask for support

Window to my Soul says you have to open the window and not pretend that you are fine.

People will then open able to support you.

If someone is not behaving normally, I understand. There is a story behind every person

and the person may be going through something. Try and understand people better.

After speaking to her (my counsellor) I feel like I am a princess. God gave me that

guardian angel to support me in good and bad things.

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5. The Holiday Programme for Bereaved Children

5.1. Background and Objective This holiday programme for children who have lost parents, caregivers and or other significant

others aims to help children explore and express feelings of loss, abandonment, anger and

anxiety; to normalize these feelings so that they can be integrated into consciousness as part of

the experience of grieving; to give children a chance to safely express any misconceptions they

may have about death, especially in the context of familial and cultural grieving practices which

often exclude children.

5.2. Participants Eighteen children, aged between 8 and 13 years were chosen for this programme. Fourteen of

these are orphaned, abandoned, neglected and/or abused children from Kidshaven, a child and

youth care centre that has taken in many of the children that initially came into the Bertrams

office.

5.3. Process The emotional work happened through activities which hold the interest and fascination of this

age group. The children made collages about the people they lost and the tactile nature of the

experience readily evoked painful feelings of loss.

I love my mother so much. I was born on my mother’s

heart. I will never forget my mother because I love her.

The Sad Book by Quentin Blake and Michael Rosen

was used as a slide show to help the children find

words for feelings while at the same time also

normalizing them. A feeling barometer allowed the

children to mark their emotions at any particular

point in time and reinforced the integration into

consciousness of a feeling vocabulary on which they

draw in future.

On the second day of the three day programme the children symbolically said “good-bye” to

their loved ones through the medium of paint, and on the third and last day they created

memory jars with coloured chalk and salt to symbolize treasured memories. At the end of the

day all the art work was gathered into a ritual centre piece, before taking them home to share

with family members.

5.4. Change indicators The facilitators had identified 3 main indicators to assess the value of the work done with this

group of children: the openness to talk about their feelings about the death of a loved one not

only during the programme, but also subsequently in the home; the ability to express feelings

through the modalities of visual arts; and the ability to express negative as well as positive

feelings. Observations of the children’s behavior throughout the programme indicate that the

objectives of the intervention had indeed been met. More importantly, a visit to Kidshaven two

months later revealed that for most of the children the experience of having their experience of

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loss acknowledged had a profound and lasting effect. The children watched a video recording of

the programme and were then asked to paint their two feet, one representing the way they felt

and behaved before the programme and the other one representing their current emotional

state. This is what they had to say in the discussion that followed:

Now I can talk about what happened to me, with my

friends here at Kidshaven and with my brother at home.

This left foot is a mess. This one is nice, my favourite

bright colours.

I can’t say what changed, but it changed everything, my

life, my feelings.

The house mothers caring for the children were also asked if

they had noted any changes in the children. About the majority

of the children positive changes were reported:

Glorie joined the house in the village in September.

When she first came she was a quiet and sensitive child.

Almost every little thing became a big issue. Since she

came back from the holiday programme, she has been

much more open and now she talks about her family.

She has built relationships with other girls and with the

house mothers. She does her chores and is generally kind and helpful.

For one little girl, however, the traumatic memories evoked by some of the activities in the

programme may simply have been too much. Although care workers initially noted with delight

that after the programme they had for the first time seen her laugh, she had a psychotic

breakdown several weeks later and had to be hospitalized. The trauma suffered by this child

throughout her life has so many layers, that it seems that only lifting the lid on one of them, has

reactivated all the others.

A three day intervention can never address the complexities of grief and loss in children who

have ended up in formal care. However, we are confident that they have been given a

foundation on which further grief work can be done as they develop and mature.

6. Journey to Wellness

6.1. Background and Objectives This group for women living with HIV/AIDS has been in existence for two years but has until

recently struggled with maintaining a regular attendance. It was initially facilitated by an

external psychologist but in 2014 was taken over by Raymond Nettman and Paulin Chikomb,

both members of the East team.

The objective of this group is to offer a safe space to women affected by HIV/AIDS who because

of still wide-spread discrimination, would be hesitant to reveal their HIV status or share its

impact on their emotional well-being in a wider group setting.

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6.2. Participants There has been a dramatic improvement in attendance in the past year with 7 out of the 10

women in the group now attending the fortnightly sessions on a very regular basis. All of the

women are either Zimbabwean or South African. Unfortunately we have not succeeded as yet to

persuade any Congolese woman living with HIV to join the group, as the fear of disclosure and

victimization in this community remains very deeply engrained.

6.3. Process The group is the only space in which most of the members feel free to talk about HIV as an

aspect of their lives. Misinformation, ignorance, fear and stigmatization are still major factors in

their lives outside of the group room. What is also very sad is that most of these women too lack

basic information about the disease that is affecting their physical and emotional well-being.

One of the activities that brought about powerful stories, emotions and insights involved group

members drawing around their feet, and then filling the outlines with paint as a symbolic

representation of the journey they have been on with HIV.

Thandi chose blue to represent the colour of her school uniform. She remembered how she hated

washing it. Her sisters used to throw her uniform outside

and when her mom got home from work and found it

lying in the dirt she would get into trouble. She also

chose the colour red because to represent her marriage

in 1992. She expected marriage to bring happiness but

instead it brought abuse. She thought that having

children would make her happy but things just got

worse. She contracted HIV from her husband. But now

“my life has started, because I can stand up for myself. I

chose yellow for this. Now I can even help others!”

Group members were also encouraged to stand in each

other’s feet as an exercise in empathy and from this position were often able to give meaningful

and authentic “advice” to each other:

Sergine stood in Thandi’s feet. She said she could feel that Thandi is carrying a very heavy load,

trying to solve her own problems and everybody else’s too. She could feel her concern about her

two children and the suffering of the people around her. She told Thandi that it is good to give

advice to people but not good to make their problems your own. You need to listen to others and

then take them out of your mind. Thandi then shared with the group how trying to support

another woman has left her feeling totally overwhelmed.

6.4. Change Indicators Journey to Wellness is an open group which takes in new members at any given point in time,

and as such is difficult to evaluate formally. In a recent group evaluation process this is what the

current members had to say:

We had stigma, we all had stigma when we came here, but here we could say whatever

we like. We realize here that we are human beings.

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When we come to group meetings we learn new things from people, we get strengths

from each other and when we miss a sessions, we feel that we have lost something. It’s

like going to church.

7. Umoja 1

7.1. Background and Objective The Umoja 1 group has become a fixture of the Children and Families on the Move Programme.

Its objective is to help women who have recently arrived in the country and/or still cling to the

identity of refugee, to process the traumatic experiences associated with forced displacement

and to facilitate a measure of adjustment to a new environment and intense struggles for daily

survival.

7.2. Participants A total of 20 women started off in the Umoja 1 group at the beginning of the year, and 11

attended sessions on a regular basis. The women who remained in this group were more

educated than the participants in the 2013 group, more able to articulate emotions and to

integrate insights and learning from the group process. Although attendance was erratic on a

week to week basis, creating some difficulties for the continuity of the emotional support work,

the core group consistently returned, if not every week, then at least every second.

7.3. Process The main thrust of the Umoja 1 group is a narrative one.

Each participant gets a chance to tell their story, and with

the support of the group and the facilitators find the hidden

threads of courage which strengthen the fabric of their

narratives and affirm inner strength, which in turn makes it

possible for women then assert their rights and to find

external resources. As the group process unfolds over time,

the narratives become more and more authentic,

transforming themselves from thin stories of suffering that a

refugee thinks welfare workers and home affairs officials

want to hear, to multi-layered and deeply emotive accounts

of the interface between personal vulnerability, social

disintegration, and the horrors of war. The following is a

summary of Regina’s story which took three full mornings to

tell:

Regine was born in Kisangani, one of four children. Her father was a soldiers in Mobutu’s army

and the family moved constantly from one deployment to each other. While her mother walked

across the countryside to sell her wares, she was sent to live with another woman who “was

sleeping with many mn and I was seeing all the things she did with them.” At 9 she was sent

with her siblings to a convent in Kisangani. Here she was happy. She went to school and her

mother came to visit her at weekends. Then her mother died. Her father fetched his children

from the convent and took them to their uncle: “We suffered a lot there. His wife was not good.

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She used to send us to sell vet cakes and if I did not sell them all, I would not get any food. We

used to sleep in the chicken coop.

Once the children escaped back to the convent. They were welcomed but sent back with nice

clothes which the aunt then gave to her own daughter.

At 13 Regine was sold into marriage to a much older man: “I had not even menstruated yet.” A

couple of months later she was pregnant: “I did not like that marriage. I did not like that man. He

was too old for me and he had a beard.” When the child was 2 years old Regine escaped under

the pretext of showing him to her family. She was 16. She left the child with the grandmother

and walked off together with a friend.

On the road the two girls met soldiers who took them to Goma. Here they made a living by

providing sexual favours to soldiers other men: “At that time I did not know right from wrong,

because there was nobody to guide me. We rented a house together- we were seven women and

went out to the taverns to target the soldiers we wanted to sleep with.”

Regine explained: We slept with Moroccan soldiers for money, and many others. They promised

to take us to Morocco, Europe, Uruquay, Spain, South Africa. We were changing men like we

changed clothes. I sent money home through the money transfer.”

Two South African soldiers told them to come to South Africa, left their phone numbers and told

them to contact them when they arrived. It was an arduous journey which Regine described in

great detail. She made it to Johannesburg but the soldiers were nowhere to be found and she

ended up destitute in a church in Yeoville. Here she met the man she married and with whom she

had two children before he died of kidney failure. As a foreigner he did not qualify for a kidney

transplant.

This is not the end of Regine’s story and as the year unfolded the women shared many of their

current struggles. Many were not aware of their rights in terms of access to education, health,

or documentation, and a series of workshops were held to empower the woman with

information, knowledge and most of all confidence.

7.4. Change Indicators The two main indicators of change identified for this group were the degree to which their social

networks had expanded and the extent to which their coping with daily stressors was

compromised by depression, anxiety, psychosomatic and traumatic stress symptoms.

The facilitators found that there had been a significant increase in the extent to which the

women supported each other outside of the group. While few made friends with South Africans,

the women who at the beginning of the year were totally isolated, by November reported that

they now were friends with this or that group member and that they visited each other

regularly. Equally importantly the women who attended this evaluation session also reported

that they were making active use of resources in their community, as limited as these may be:

Rachel said that because of SCPS she now found the courage to go back to JRS (Jesuit

Refugee Services) to appeal for help with rent. Thanks to SCPS too she goes to Bienvenu

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Shelter and sews there. She has been offered material and the use of a sewing machine

and now she makes bags which she can sell.

The women also spoke of asserting their rights to services in the face of often extremely hostile

school officials, or health care workers:

Rose said that the information she got from SCPS has helped her to manage her life. The

hospital clerk demanded R5000 from her, but she asserted herself and in the end only

paid R200.

Nora reported that the information she received from the workshops helped with school

issues: “I don’t care anymore if I get warning letters from the school, because I know

that I don’t have to pay because I have applied for exemption.

The SRQ 20 is a self-report questionnaire that has proven particularly valuable in assessing the

emotional well-being of people in “developing” contexts. It consists of 20 questions and 8 or

more affirmative responses to these suggest that there is a risk of serious psychopathology.

Nine women were present for both the initial administration of this questionnaire and the final

one in November. The mean “pathology” score at the beginning of the year was 12.7, suggesting

very high levels of depression, anxiety and traumatic stress. By the end of the year the mean

score had dropped to 4.4, significantly below the cut-off point for psychopathology. There was

marked difference in somatic symptoms such as the frequency of headaches, poor digestion,

fatigue and uncomfortable feelings in the stomach; as well as in symptoms of anxiety and

depression (being easily frightened, having trouble thinking clearly, feeling nervous tense and

worried). The variances also suggest that women feel more able and confident to make

decisions and that they feel more able to play a useful part in life. Interestingly these positive

changes, did not necessarily translate into a greater feeling of happiness or contentment. Thus 7

of the 9 women who said that they found it difficult to enjoy going about their daily activities at

the beginning of the year still felt the same at the end; and all 9 were still describing themselves

as unhappy people by the time the group closed in December. Perhaps happiness, given the

extent of trauma, deprivation and daily stress is not something that these women can claim for

themselves.

A final group evaluation in November brings to life these findings. The women were asked to

paint one foot representing the way they came into the group and another the way in which

they are leaving it. The most common theme that comes out of this activity relates to the way in

which the support of the group has empowered women to speak up for themselves in the

outside world, to assert their right to services and resources (however limited); and sometimes

even to ways of materially supporting themselves and their children:

Before I came I felt things in my heart, a lot of pain and too much stress. Now I can do to

change things. Counselling made a difference. Yellow in my picture means that I have

the power to fight with people who hurt me.

I was very sad in the shelter. I wanted an immediate solution. I came here and asked for

a counsellor. Now my blood pressure is much better. The green in the painting is a

blessing. And somebody has offered me a job in Parktown. I have courage and I am

assertive. Yellow in my picture means the light to go to Sophiatown.

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My right foot is black for when I first came to South Africa. There were no relatives to

help us. I went to Bienvenu. My husband had to go to a men’s shelter. I was there for 6

months. Then I worked there for another 12 months. The blue foot shows U have

courage. The pink is responsibility.

Many of the Umoja 1 group members are also seen for individual counselling, have referred

their children for support and have attended the six day parenting programme. The combined

power of these interventions is perhaps what makes the Children and Families on the Move

Programme so very unique:

I had many challenges with my kids and with life. I have used many colours. Pink shows

the difference the Parent Lekgotla has made to me. I had difficulties with the school.

Now my one child can testify that things are better. Green means things are changing.

Pink is the Lekgotla. Blue is my first born. He comes here on Tuesdays. In the lekgotla I

had to interpret for the others. I did not know I can do that. I can also represent my

group. These are hidden talents I have. I used to shout a lot at home, but not any more.

Raymond has helped me with counselling.

8. Umoja 2

8.1. Background and Objectives The Umoja 1 group of 2013 was a challenging one. There were some very destructive group

dynamics brought in by women who attended sessions primarily in the hope of eventually being

given some material assistance (this despite very clear explanations to the contrary at the

beginning of the group) and the projected anger at times threatened to derail the process.

However, we have learnt from years of experience there are always some women who are very

conscious of the emotional benefits of the group and who express the need at the end of the

year to remain connected with each other, with the facilitators and the centre as a whole. The

Umoja 2 group was initially conceptualized as a space in which foreign and South African women

who have been through some primary group or individual counselling process, come together to

explore the common experience of womanhood, to build solidarity across the boundaries of

nationality and prejudice, and to begin building meaningful support systems within their

immediate neighourhoods. This was relatively successful in 2012 and 2013, but since then it has

been very difficult to get South African women in particular to commit themselves to a regular

group process. In the past year we have therefore decided to meet the women’s expressed need

for continued engagement with a psycho-social process through monthly workshops, rather

than weekly session) with the theme of womanhood running throughout the year.

8.2. The Participants Umoja 2 in 2014 consisted of 13 participants of whom 11 were regularly present for the 10

workshops held on the second Friday of each month.

8.3. The Process The workshops were structured around a body map of a woman’s body (drawn collectively with

each member contributing a part of their body to the drawing). In each session the women

identified a part of the body as a symbolic representation of their experience. In one session, for

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example, the symbol of the mouth was explored. The women explained that the mouth was a

very important part of women’s experience because it enables them to speak; to eat (gain

energy); to teach children; to express needs and feelings.

In this session the participants agreed that in their cultural and familial worlds women were not

allowed to use their mouths to express opinions, needs and feelings:

The husband sill says “shut up.” It destroys marriages. The husband always wants to be

on top.

In Congo it is terrible. We have no right to express ourselves. We get told “you are under

my feet.”

As the conversation proceeded some women, especially those who had been in the country for

some years came in with tentative alternatives, suggesting, for example that women could be

given a voice if early socialization practices could be changed. At the end of the session the

women were asked to stand in a circle around the facilitator and asked to express whatever

unexpressed feelings they had bottled up inside them, pretending that the facilitator was the

target of the communication. Not surprisingly, it was

a very emotive and liberating moment with long-

contained anger rage being hurled (also not

surprisingly) at present, absent or deceased male

partners.

Because the sessions only took place monthly, and

some needed to prioritize other more immediate

concerns (mainly traumatic events which had

occurred in the women’s lives, as well as the sudden

departure of the community worker/interpreter who

had played an important role in the group), this work

is seen as an ongoing consciousness-raising process

which will continue into the next year and the next,

in the hope that over time some women will feel empowered to break through the cultural

stereotypes that bind them into silence and submission.

9. Umoja 3

9.1. Background and Objectives The Umoja 3 group consists of 13 “elders”- women who have been attending various psycho-

social programmes (including individual and group counselling, parent lekgotlas, friendship days

etc) for many years, most since 2009, when the centre was first established. Their children too

have been or continue to be in various programmes, including teenage groups Study Buddies,

Khula Nathi, holiday programs and the like. These women are deeply attached to the centre,

and although they have worked through most of their trauma, have become very articulate

about their rights and responsibilities as women, are able to assert these in the face of hostile

authority figures, and have been able to reclaim their dignity, all are still desperately poor and

vulnerable to the external threats of homelessness, hunger and violence. Every year they

26

express the need to continue with some kind of group process that confirms their connections

with each other, the facilitator and the team as whole.

In 2014 this took the form of monthly story-telling workshops with a two-fold objective. The first

is to help the women re-construct a continuity of personal narrative and identity through the

sharing of memories beyond trauma and suffering. They are taken back to their ancestral past,

to accounts of grandparents and other elders that have been passed on to them, to childhood

dreams and significant traditions of family

life, to cultural rituals and their meaning

at different developmental transitions,

and many other stories that tend to be

suppressed in the violent disruptions of

war and forced displacement. The second

objective is to thread these stories

together into a simple books of treasured

memories that the women can share with

their children, thereby re-constructing a

continuity of familial and cultural

narrative into the present. This is

particularly important as all the women in

this group come from the DRC or Angola,

have been forcibly displaced by war, and as a result are bringing up children in an alien context,

with little or no contact with extended family members, such as grandparents or aunts and

uncles who would under other circumstances provide a developing child with stories within

which he/she could locate her personal identity.

9.2. Participants Of the 13 group members on the register, 11 attended sessions very regularly, with an average

attendance rate of 75% per session. These largely middle aged and older women are deeply

bonded to each other and the monthly sessions are highlights which they dare not miss.

9.3. The Process The process is a very loosely structured one. The group comes together once a month, chooses a

theme and the stories flow. They are digitally recorded and then transcribed and edited.

Although keeping up with the latter has been difficult, the process has been amazing. Freed

from perhaps a perceived pressure to provide stories of suffering and trauma, the women are

coming up with intimate information that they had never revealed in the formal counselling

interventions. More importantly, they are discovering moments of exquisite joy and humor,

even in narratives tainted by sadness, fear or horror. The following are two brief extracts:

I was born in Ituri. My life in my home country was very nice. When I was still young in

my mother’s and father’s house, my granny, the one who gave birth to my mother, she

used to come and visit us at home. So, I was still a young girl. She used to try and teach

me to knit. My friend learnt a lot from her. She was younger than me, 17,18. They liked

these blankets a lot, especially the women who were going to give birth in the hospital.

They were much stronger than the ones you used to buy in the shop. So she made a lot of

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money with those blankets. She also made jerseys for newborn babies. And socks and

hats, and this blanket. And I who was the owner of the granny, I didn’t do anything.

Because I was lazy. Sitting there and learning to knit, was not for me. My friend was very

clever. In the mornings she ran away from her house and ran to my grandmother. She

asked her to teach her to knit. I was there washing dishes. And now I don’t know how to

do this. I don’t know nothing. Now I regret it. From my heart I regret it. She was a good

teacher

But for my grandmother, a woman is only there to make kids. So my mother also had

kids before me, before she got married to my father. So that was ok for my granny. Even

if you don’t get married, but you have to give her grandchildren, no matter how you

make them. She doesn’t care about the father, if he was there when you gave birth. But

you must give her kids.

I remember when I grew up were taken for holidays to another village-all the girls 12

years and older were taken there. We were given sorghum and milk. And sorghum and

meet. Where we came from we did not have that kind of food. This is where the

marriage arrangements started. When they send you to fetch water, the grannies will be

there. They will ask “which family does this child come from?” Then they look into their

own family and they think “mm, maybe this one will be right for my grandson.” Then

they decide that the girl must marry the grandson. When you get back home you are

asked all kinds of question. If you answer them, your parents know that there is a

partner for you to marry in that village. Whether you want or not, you have to marry

him.

This story-telling process is an ongoing process that does need more capacity in terms of time to

transcribe and edit narratives and produce them in a format that is meaningful to the women

and their children.

9.4. Change Indicators In the final session of the year the Umoja 3 women spoke about their journey with Sophiatown

over the course of the past five years. These reflections confirm for us the critical value of a

long-term, continuous emotional presence, of islands of safety and love in the unending

landscapes of suffering:

Here we feel loved. Maybe you have not eaten for 3 days. Here I am offered a cup of tea.

How often does that happen? Now that person tells you to take away the bad things

that happen in your life. The loves takes those things away. I will give my own story: I

was rejected by the church. The church preaches love, but it rejected me. Here is like a

hug, love and a shelter. Here we are all citizens. Nobody asks us if we have a green (SA)

ID. Love is the first thing. After that you send us back to some tough things- but we go

with dignity.

They rejected me at XXX (a refugee aid organization). They paid rent for 3 months and

they gave me clothes for the baby. They buried the child and they took the other children

to crèche. Then they stopped paying, they chased me away. They said they had done

enough for me. I went back and they said there is no more help for Angolans, I walked

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out crying. A woman saw me crying and she sent me here. I came here sick, unable to

sleep. I came for counselling. They did not give me food or rent. But the counselling

pushed me. I found food, I found rent. I remember one day I found a woman in the

waiting room. She complained that she is tired of this Sophiatown, they are not helping

her. I told her it’s about perseverance. I told her I have been here since 2010. I found

happiness here, it’s up to you.

In a very humorous and visual way, one woman who has been coming for many years, now runs

the permaculture garden, and has been through years of individual and family therapy,

describes the organization and how it helps people to take control over their lives:

I want to tell you how this organization is working. It has a president and it has

ministers. If the president is bad, all the ministers will be bad too. If the president is

good, all the ministers will work together to solve problems. I came here with a lot of

problems, I was very down. There was my daughter, I could not cope with her. They took

her to Kidshaven. Now she is doing Grade 11 and she is completely changed. My children

say I have swallowed Johanna inside me. She gives me courage and strength. We as

women can do big things. We can take care of ourselves and our children.

10. Full or empty: The Parenting Jug

10.1. Background and Objectives Karen had acquired a jug full of water and a few cups. Each cup represented one demand made

on parents- by children, partners, landlords, school clerks, family members. Each time a demand

came up she poured a little more water into the cups, until the jug was empty, like a parent who

feels that she has nothing left inside. This was a powerful symbol to which the parents in the

group related readily. How can the jug be filled? Anna and Bernadette said they fill it by

speaking to their counsellors. Other women challenged them- relying only on counselling was not

enough for them. The ideas about the many ways to keep re-filling the jug emerged during the

next three days.

The emptiness of the parenting jug is, we believe, one of the most critical manifestation of a

disintegrating society. In all our work we observed that parents are either overwhelmed by the

multiple demands on them, or have run dry and simply given up. Refugee and migrant parents

often come from countries where the notion of children’s rights is a foreign one and they

struggle to adjust to often very legalistic interpretation of children’s rights in this country. Even

many South African parents have not yet learnt ways of teaching and disciplining children that

do not involve the physical harm. Moreover, refugee children carry on their small shoulders the

huge expectation of a “better life.” They have to be clever at school, do all the chores at home,

mediate South African culture and language to their elders, and lead their families to prosperity.

Many of the South African parents, on the other hand, have already given up- there is (and this a

generalization) little engagement with child’s life, and almost no expectation except that she

must go to school. In both cases, children’s emotional needs often go unacknowledged and

unmet. The vast majority of parents we work with in all our programmes are women who have

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never been properly parented themselves and there is always the risk that their own unmet

emotional needs impair their ability to be emotionally present for their children.

The objective of the Parent Lekgotla, therefore is to actively facilitate conversations with and

between caregivers, to create awareness of how a parent’s own struggles can interfere with

positive parenting, and to explore realistic ways of making available time and space for

children’s needs within the context of extreme poverty, deprivation, displacement and (more

often than not) gender-based violence.

In the past years parent lekgotlas took the form of bi-monthly workshops. The problem with

these was that they were not consistently attended by the same parents and this interfered with

the continuity of process. In 2014 we decided to work with a consistent group of parents in a

more intensive programme- 3 days in June and 3 days in September.

10.2. The Participants Nineteen mothers, all drawn from the Umoja groups or our individual client base attended the

first three days of this process from 17 to 19 June. Of these 19, thirteen attended the second

phase of the programme at the end of September.

10.3. The Process When the empty jug was introduced, the mothers came up with long lists of complaints and

demands which left them feeling empty and exhausted. Most of these related to material need:

children’s anger at parents who are not able to provide for them; a profound sense of failure as

a provider; no ways of disciplining a child except by beating which could lead to the arrest of the

parent.

Parents were challenged to come up with a list of things that filled the jug, and this reflected

mostly a preoccupation with obedience and respect for adults, success at school, and an

emotional responsiveness to parental needs. On the second day a conflict over the supply of

milk allocated for tea called for some active problem-solving and the facilitators made use of

this opportunity to highlight the importance of communicating

with children about whatever resources are available, and

involving them in the decision-making of how these should be

shared.

On the third day the Circle of Courage was introduced to challenge

the women to think about their own needs for belonging, mastery,

independence and generosity. The evaluation at the end of this

first cycle was very positive, as indicated by the following

comments:

I have always spoken well to my children. People tell me I

spoil them but now I have confirmation that I am doing the

right thing.

Before I was stressed and I would shout at the children.

Now I will try and listen.

I felt superior to my children, but they need respect. I will try to treat them more fairly.

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I beat and shout but now I stop and talk.

These positive undertakings and reported changes, however, seemed to have disappeared three

months later when the second round of the lekgotla took place between the 29 and 1 October

2014. Thirteen of the original group re-convened for this gathering at the House of Dreams.

Although some parents identified some positive changes since the last workshop, they quickly

reverted to back to the difficulties of parenting. One parent indicated that becoming “friends”

with her children had made matters worse as now they were taking advantage of her. Another

related how she beat her child for three hours, after which the child’s behavior improved.

One of the biggest struggle of these parents is their children’s demands for consumer goods

which they feel will lead to their acceptance in the peer group. In an urban environment these

goods are advertised even in the poorest communities as symbols of status and belonging, and

when parents are unable to meet the demands, children become angry and rebellious.

Using the symbol of a house the facilitators tried to turn the attention of the group away from

the complaints to the qualities of a healthy family. Participants were also encouraged in small

groups to take on the identity of a child at a particular developmental stage. Once a measure of

empathy had been established it was then possible to look at what children need from their

adult caregivers and to explore ways of meeting these needs through communication, modeling,

setting goals together and agreeing on consequences of behavior and the like.

The group was resistant to an exercise in non-violent communication and at this stage turned

reiterated their list of complaints about children’s behavior and attitude. When asked what

would make things easier for them, all mentioned money. This should not be surprising- the lack

of the most basic means of survival means that if mothers could provide these, children would

feel more loved and respected, and better behaved:

Mimi said that her daughter loves school but sometimes she cannot go because there is

no tea for breakfast. She wishes there was enough money, so that her children would not

steal, and be able to eat.

Anna felt that if she had enough money to provide for her children, then it would be

easier to teach them good behavior. Now her child just asks why she gave birth to her.

The struggle for survival and the emotional distress and guilt associated with the inability to give

children what they need coloured all the subsequent discussions and it was clear that the

parents anger at their children’s behavior is at least part also a projection of their own feelings

of helplessness and failure.

Parenting is an arduous and lifelong edeavour. Supporting parents and ensuring that they have

the basic means to care for their children, especially in post-conflict contexts in which social,

familial, and economic fabrics have been shredded to pieces by violence, war, and systemic

oppressions, should be a constitutional mandate. It is almost impossible to assess outcomes at

this stage, but where the benefits of emotional support are enhanced by a range of other

interventions, there are positive signs of change, as indicated by Clarisse in her reflections above

or in the story of Babette below:

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Babette has been coming to the Bertrams Centre with her a range of problems for many

years. She has suffered major trauma in her country of origin, has tried to raise three

children under conditions of extreme deprivation, and more has been denied

documentation by the Department of Home Affairs, pending the outcome of an appeal

hearing by the Refugee Appeal Board for which she has now waited for two years. Her

two boys have serious behavioural problems and have resorted to stealing, lying and

cheating to survive. Their school performance has deteriorated over the years and the

oldest boy, now 16, has become physically abusive towards his mother if she cannot

provide food or other basic necessities. Our attempts to get him into the state care

system failed because the family had no legal status. In the meantime all Babette’s

efforts to raise the money for rent and food (often with some financial support from us)

ended in failure as she was subjected to constant harassment by the metro police,

especially when it was discovered that she had no legal papers. The stress for this

woman became so severe that she suffered complete psychotic breakdowns. In the

absence of proper psychiatric care the team made arrangements with other clients in the

same building to take care of Babette and her children. Finally, our appeals for free legal

representation were effective: Babette was given a six months extension on her papers,

while the lawyers are preparing to challenge the Refugee Appeal Board on its refusal to

deal with her case. With her papers in order, Babette has been able to return to the flea

market to sell second hand clothing and other small items and her self-confidence has

soared. The boys were referred into an inner city development boxing programme where

they find not only an outlet for their energy and aggression, but also learn life skills and

receive a food parcel to take home to their mother every month. Babette is one of the

mothers who attended the Parent Lekgotla (as well as individual counselling and group

therapy), and we believe that it is the combination of interventions that have resulted in

a much improved relationship with her children, a marked change in the emotional well-

being of the family as a whole, and even in a dramatic upturn in school performance.

A hungry stomach has no ears: Supportive material Interventions

Supportive material interventions are just that: they are intended to support emotional growth and

well-being of clients who are actively engaged in individual, family or group counselling processes. For

example, if a mother has managed to move out of a position of passivity and despair and made every

possible attempt to get money for rent together, is committed to regular sessions, and uses these to

process the trauma of her life experience that has landed her in this position in the first place, she may

be given a food parcel or voucher as an acknowledgment of the enormous emotional effort that has

gone into her achievement. This then also ensures that the money she has earned gets used for rent and

not to meet the more immediate need of stilling the hunger of her children.

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Supportive material interventions consists of e-pap (a very nutritious

porridge designed specifically for people with HIV); food vouchers (which

are purchased); food parcels which are donated by the local St Vincent de

Paul society; assistance with rent payments; occasional assistance with

small business grants; as well as support with school registration fees,

stationery and uniforms. In most cases the support is sporadic. However,

there are also a number of very fragile families who have been supported

on a more regular basis, in order to ensure a minimum of stability for

children.

Fifty six clients received some kind of food relief in 2014, mostly on a once or twice off basis. Nine

families received regular rent or food assistance, most of these as part of the sponsorship of the

education of six learners by the Beautiful World Foundation. One family consisting of two blind parents

and two blind children is totally dependent on Sophiatown for food, rent and school fees. Another

undocumented teenager who was abandoned by her parents many years ago was placed in “informal

foster care” for which the foster mother received a monthly stipend of R2000. Three women were given

assistance of R1500 and R3000 to establish or expand their stalls on the streets.

Thirty children were assisted with schooling related expenses- these range from assistance with items of

uniform and stationery, to the payment of registration fees (without which a child will not be accepted

into school); to the payment of book levies and in the case of the four learners sponsored by the

Beautiful World Foundation in Canada, the payment of full school or college fees. Another two learners

were helped with matric re-write or skills training fees at St Anthony’s. Funds have also been raised to

cover the monthly school fee of R1500 for the blind child who without this would not have been able to

access any education.

Grow with us: Education and emotional well-being

In 2013 Sophiatown was approached by the Beautiful World Foundation with the offer of sponsorship

for the education of 10 children already involved in various psychosocial programmes. The offer was

accepted on condition that the sponsorship includes as small family allowance (to ensure that there was

some benefit for all the children in the family, and not only for the sponsored one) and that learners are

selected on the basis of their commitment to personal growth rather than on the basis of academic

performance. Ten learners were selected for the initial programme: of these six were drawn from the

Bertrams Centre, all are from refugee families. Two were at the time ready to embark on a college

education, three were still in high school and a fifth is a hearing impaired child that had been denied

access to a special school because the mother did not have the means to pay the school fees or

transport.

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Working with these children and their families has been a major learning experience. Conditions in the

families are such that they effectively constitute barriers to learning. There is no space for the children

to do homework; rooms are often shared with other tenants whose movement and noise levels mothers

have no control over; learners have additional language and

emotional barriers; and parents have little or no capacity or

energy to support their children’s educational progress in any

meaningful way. Much work needed to be done to help the

children and their families create better conditions for learning

in the absence of minimal material or emotional resources. This

continues to be work in progress, not only for the learners and

their care givers, but also for us as facilitators.

Outcomes in terms of academic achievements have so far not

been very promising. Instead the major outcome has been the

realization of the enormous challenges faced by all learners in

the South African education system (which ranks right at the

bottom among African countries in terms of literacy and numeracy) and the importance of sustaining

both psycho-social and educational support in the long-term. While in 2013 we focused more on the

psycho-social aspects of learning, we paid more attention to the educational in 2014 by paying for extra

tutoring and Saturday school for the high school learners. While necessary, relinquishing the intensity of

the psycho-social work, in retrospect seems to have been a mistake.

In summary: Of the six original learners, one has completed her college training as an ECD practitioner

but is struggling to find work, and at the moment relies on temporary jobs as stand-ins for regular

employees in crèches and nursery schools. Another has failed a matric re-write but done exceptionally

well in a bookkeeping course and is now looking for a work as a junior bookkeeper. One young man did

not pass his matric well enough to qualify for a degree, but is accepted for a diploma in accounting- the

problem in this case is that he is undocumented pending a decision with the Refugee Appeal Board

which is being legally contested. Another young man started his diploma in music at a local FET College

but had to drop out in the second year when he became critically ill. He needed a lot of support but is

now well enough to single handedly pull of a concert at the Maboneng Cultural Precinct. One young girl

is struggling through high school, while the hearing impaired child is now fully integrated into the special

school and has been granted exemption.

The experience with this small group of children has once again convinced that education and mental

and emotional health cannot be separated. We are in the process of developing a more formal

programme called Khula Nathi which incorporates this awareness into a much wider range of our

interventions. The Study Buddies project which is run by a group of very dedicated volunteers every

Saturday has reached 28 primary and high school learners in the past year and assisted them with

homework, reading and other academic support, but now needs to be more formalized, monitored and

professionally supported.

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No organization is an island: Sustaining our Community of Practice

An unexpected but exciting development in 2014 has been the birth of a small, but promising new

project which we are for now calling Sustaining our Community of Practice. We have always been aware

of the fact that no organization is an island and that the psychological or even psycho-social support

cannot be rendered in isolation from humanitarian aid agencies, child protection services, shelters, skills

training centres, language schools and the like. Almost all of the services that complement our own are

rendered by NGOs and in the past we have seen a rapid demise in this sector. Even where NGOs

continue to render services they often close their doors to those who are not South Africans, or cannot

pay the minimal fee, and those who strive to remain open an inclusive are so overburdened that they

cannot possibly listen to another desperate plea.

There remains a network of small, dedicated and struggling partners with whom we have developed

mutually beneficial relationships of interdependence. These are Impilo, a small statutory agency that

assists us with the legal processes of placing children in care when the big statutory organizations fail in

their mandate; Bienvenu, the only shelter that we can still refer destitute refugee clients to and be

confident that they will be assisted with compassion and care; Kidshaven which is frequently mentioned

in our reports and which provides protection, care and education for scores of our abandoned, abused

or orphaned children; The House which provides a similar service to destitute teenage girls; Hotel Hope

Ministries and others. Sustaining this community of practice is essential for all concerned and most of

all for the people who need to be able to draw on our collective services. Yet every organization has its

individual struggles and it is at this point that the project seeks to muster the resources to make sure

that individual organizational needs and challenges are addressed and thereby the sustainability of the

network as a whole assured.

The project therefore aims to sustain the existing community of practice by making available resources

in the form of coaching for leaders; direct interventions by specialists in the field of HR, fund-raising, and

organizational development specialists; conflict resolution etc.; workshops around common concerns; as

well as emotional support for directors and managers. The project is coordinated by Zelda Kruger, an

experienced social worker and organizational coach, on a part-time basis with the support of

Sophiatown’s director.

While the project is still in its infancy stage, the following outputs can be reported on:

The Directors Circle which is now part of this project, continues to meet on a monthly

basis and for those who attend it regularly it has become space of support and sharing

they will do anything not to miss.

A workshop in succession planning was facilitated by George Lindeque, attended by 20

participants from eight organizations (including Board members) and according to

feedback received afterwards, met a significant need in founder-driven organizations.

Directors and leaders from four organization were seen for between one and four

coaching sessions around specific issues impacting on the organization. These included

difficulties with boards; staff misconduct; and internal conflict.

One organization is being actively and consistently supported with fundraising as well as

emotional support for its director and senior manager.

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Another organization is being assisted by an expert consultant in developing the HR and

other policies required for registration with the Department of Social Development.

Out of the ghetto: challenging the psychology of the quick-fix

While the Sophiatown team is one that meets regularly for team meetings and processes, for

supervision and debriefing, and therefore also gives itself the opportunity to reflect deeply on its work,

it never seems to have the time to documents its learnings- that is until somebody comes along, prods

us with a critical question or comments, and thereby ignites in us the passion to write.

One such occasion was the visit by Usche Merk from Medico-International in Germany who had read

something on our work with carers on the website and came to ask us what how we felt about the

current fashion of psychotherapeutic quick fixes which some German academics export into conflict

situations such as the Eastern DRC. This conversation led to Mpumi Zondi being invited to deliver a

paper entitled “breaking down the walls of trauma counselling” at the University of Frankfurt and in a

number of other engagement with German service providers and activists.

A similar challenge came from the African Institute for Integrated Responses to Violence Against Women

and War of which Johanna Kistner and Mpumi Zondi are both founding members. The first convening of

this newly established feminist African frontline practitioner and activist platform took place around the

theme of “re-conceptualizing trauma” in Rwanda in September 2014. Johanna Kistner contributed to the

organization’s thinking around trauma in situations of continuous exposure to violence and threat, while

Mpumi Zondi added Sophiatown’s model of caring for frontline workers in these situations.

In conclusion: a cup of tea

The Sophiatown cup will never be big enough to address the devastating consequences of war, forced

displacement, violence, discrimination and exploitation for the mental and emotional well-being of the

individuals, families and communities we serve. Nor will it ever be able to accommodate the need to

document its own, sometimes radically different perspectives on cherished psychological notions such

as trauma. It is, however, the cup we have been given. For our clients we need to make sure that the tea

they drink from it is of the best possible quality, so that it sustains even if where it does not fill. And

where possible too, we will do our best to contribute to the building of a more inclusive theory and

practice of healing and advocate for its rightful place in the discourse of liberation, transformation and

justice.

sophiatown...the following report outlines the work of the bertrams team throughout the year 2014....

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